Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Sunday, June 30, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Oh Dear!!!!


Hello Stella,

I really do enjoy your blog, it feels like when you're watching series and you miss season 2 and 3, you just can't continue until you complete it the right way. This is what I do here while reading each post on your blog.

Here is my story and is going to be a long read.

I'm thinking people make too much emphasis on Marriage like is heaven. Many people Have been through hell in their marriage. My parents for example, my mum married quite early, my dad had a very good job, but he was seriously cheating on my mum, it maid my mum really depressed that one day she took her wedding gown and burnt it. There was a day my dad took I and my brother out, he saw a pretty lady on the way and gave her lift, because he wanted to toast her. He is late now, I loved him so much. The reason I gave this example is because my mum wanted a happy ever after, but did she get it? My dad died quite early.

Another example is a friend I met in my company where I use to work in the past, she came all the way from America to do her youth service, we became close. We always talked about marriage and hope to meet that special someone. She left back to America and met an amazing guy, he is handsome, well educated with a good job. I was so happy for my friend, they both later had two kids together, a boy and a girl. Beautiful family, but suddenly she fell ill, I guess this sickness drained her husband before she died because he opened a go fund me page to raise money he needs to take care of his kids. He was in bad place, this was a man that hoped for a happily ever after. But guess what, life happened to him.

Okay now here is my story, when I got married, I conceived immediately, but guess what, I had a miscarriage, a month after, strange sickness hit my ex-husband. It was so bad that it drained him of his money, when it was time to renew the rent there was no money. He was a business man.

That was how he moved back to his parents house. I was with my mum for a while, but later went to join him cause I really wanted to start having my kids. I looked for a small job and moved into his parents house. It wasn't easy. I had a miscarriage a second time and the third time I had a stillbirth. Due to the circumstances surrounding my stillbirth, I and my ex-husband separated. We had a family meeting, I fasted for two days dry while in that meeting, that's how much I wanted to keep my marriage but my ex mother-in-law concluded that over her dead body will the marriage continue.

Ex-husband remarried, and has a child now. When I saw the pics of his wedding on the internet, I reached out to Stella, I just needed someone to talk to, and she responded favorably. She didn't even know I was suicidal those period, I never mentioned it to her.

The truth is that before you bash someone, using baby mama as example you don't know the circumstances that pushed them into such situations. If God has blessed you with a beautiful home, family, kids. Please be careful how you advise others, just because God has favoured you doesn't mean you should be hard on others when dishing out advise, because you don't know what lies ahead for you. Why not keep praying for your family. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 11:8 that the darkest days of a man's life are more.

There is this old woman near my house, during a burial ceremony we had, I packaged food and gave to her, she prayed for me, about three months after I dreamt and we were both together in the dream she warned me that she never had a child and that I should becareful not to be like her. I woke up with chills all over my body. Don't you think is God that gave me this Revelation?

I really want to be a baby mama, I have been celibate for almost 5 years now, and the reason why I am yet to be one is because I am not yet buoyant to take care of a child very well. I live with my mum and I am not independent yet, because if I try that in her house they will be loads of questions from siblings and relatives. But peradventure I meet a widower or a man that has same story as mine and he is willing to take care of my child. Then I'm good to go.

Whenever I see a babymama and her child, I just melt. I admire them. Mind you i'm turning 41 this year, my period that use to last for 5 days is now 3 days.

 So Stella and Bvs what kind of advise will you give to a 41 year old woman that was once married, with no kids. Please don't direct me to sperm bank, I am not interested, and don't advise adoption too. I can conceive, I will only adopt if I cant get pregnant. Stella thanks for this great platform.

WOW.....but if you collect from sperm bank is it not the same baby mama you will become?And one without the stress of a baby daddy or any wife drama.
I wish you all the best!!!


  1. Please build your faith a little more! You talk like you have given up. It is well with you.

    1. Ezakitily!! My dear you gave up too early... Please be hopeful

    2. My ex girlfriend opened my eye to a lot of life issues, I was a conservative but when chick talks, hmmmm WISDOM falls out!
      Her advice, at d end , wen u fail to reproduce, the same siblings and parents plus society will mock you,u will be asked, what were u doing in your 20,30,40,even 50’s Aunty? No husband No pikin at ur age?
      Who will look after u at old age? Your aged parents? Ur maid? Ur siblings? Ur Inlaw’s ( is not like we don’t have bad kids that abandoned there parents)
      Do what is in ur heart now, Society will only call u names but ur heart will b filled with joy! Better to b mocked with a child than be mocked with Gray hair and lonely
      Where ever u r Lady, May God bless and keep u with ur own baby(s).

    3. Just follow your heart and the time is now. The fact that you don't have any fertility problem makes it even more easy. I understand why you don't want sperm bank, you want your child to have sense of family or root which is good. I pray you get someone soon who shares your views and dreams. Is not easy to be childless. Ọmọ ẹni lọ là ẹni. Wish you well poster.

    4. Hmmmmmm my dear if u can travel out of s country it could be African country to start a life pls do

    5. What she needs a companion Stella. Sperm bank won't.

    6. God can never advise anyone to be ababy mama. it is a personal choice and circumstance that make people become one. that dream is not from God cos his plan is for kids to be born into a loving family. maybe she wanted you not to give up on your dreams of finding a man to marry. you are not too old to marry again or have a child. stop the pity party, thinking or feeling sorry for yourself and enjoy life. believe you can meet a good man and have your own family. how do you wanna fend for achild now? where is the man to impregnate you? don't complicate your life and gofall into the hands of a desperate man.

    7. Poster, why don't you go and find out why you keep having a miscarriage from your doctor, when you do then you can do that fasting and prayer to tell God your decision to be a baby mama; then grab man and make your baby but one at a time Biko since you are not buoyant enough. I pray for you to receive a miracle from God beyond this your heart desire.Amen.

  2. You wanna be a single mom by choice, no wahala, it would've been better if u were independent, that way you won't be disturbing any man for child support, this one now, u wan put yourself for high jump, what if it doesn't pan out as expected? Hmm

    1. Poster a sperm bank abi donor will be a better advise oo. I know you want to feel a man get you pregnant or you want your child to have a father but what if it doesn't turn out well? What if he becomes an irresponsible man and gives you headache over pregnancy and child?

      Consider a sperm bank. Also you are not financial stable to take care of a child, why not work on that first?

    2. Is sperm bank cheap? I really don’t know. Is it?

  3. Poster there is nothing wrong with being a baby mama but pls do it with a single guy. Do not ruin an innocent woman’s happy home for ur own selfish desires. I have never dated a married man in my life but guess what? My useless husband has gotten a girlfriend pregnant. I cannot begin to tell u how this has affected my life. I am just waiting for my last to go to uni and I’m out. Pls look for a single guy I beg. Good luck

    1. out to where,so d small girl will take over what you have walked for,have thought about the impact it will have on your male kids if she took over the should make your husband leave instead

    2. Don’t mind them, majority of them coming here to talk trash, there another’s were Baby mamas , one insulted a lady here and later said “ tho my mother was a baby mama and raised 5children “
      Do what makes u happy, siblings and parents r not same as ur own child, wen ur baby comes at 4... they will be happy for u
      U see them keeping keyboard worriers? Most of them r unhappy in the so called marriage, scheming Husbands, mother Inlaw, sis Inlaw name them, at least we read and see it ard us
      Do u, fill ur home with laughter with ur child, scream and dance with him, laugh and pack her or his shyt. Go and b happy . Society only bash never renders help. Good luck yo

    3. 15;54 ...there Mother’s we’re single mums**
      When ur baby comes at 40something**
      You see them keyboard warriors *
      Ibos will say “Nkem bu Nkem, Nkeanyi bu Nkeanyi..

  4. Well, God will not ask you to become a babymama but if that's what you want for yourself, I wish you good luck.

    I understand how you feel but if you ask me, I will advise you wait a little more.

    1. A little more. At the age of 41?
      You're joking right?

      Poster just get something doing first.

    2. "God will not ask her to be a baby mama" everything you people like to attach God. Baby mamas are from the devil? Or the children from a baby mama isn't created by God?

    3. Fan wait small wait small. Rita Dominic don dey enter 48.

    4. BabyOku she said she think God gave her a revelation to be a babymama through an old woman that spoke to her in her dreams. Biko jiri nwayo na pia oku gia

  5. Madam you are so on track. Nothing more to say. I keep saying it, ones you've past 35yrs of age and without a husband,look for a way to birth a child.

    1. 35yrs is late? Well!!! Go to singles mingles and see ladies of 40 years still searching for tall, handsome, rich Guys..

    2. Hahahaha Beast u funny

  6. I'm on this table. Escaped a terrible marriage with evil in laws. Now 41 with no strong urge to remarry. Infact I will choose children over marriage any day. Stella makes a good point about sperm bank. Poster you want a child that a man will be looking after. As a woman this is a shameful way of thinking.

    1. See your mindset! For a man to take care of his child is shameful? Hanty hide your face.

      Poster,better don't go to any sperm bank! Know the father of your child to prevent stories that touches. Before your son/daughter will goan commit incest marrying their sibling in the future.

    2. @shantelle, you hide your entire generation. The poster is not prepared. A man who will look after a child is not criterion. A woman should be prepared to be able to cater for her child on her own. All you lazy females that are looking for a man to hang all your life's issues on. And BTW how does knowing the father of her child stop future incest? She won't know other kids he has.

  7. go to a sperm bank


    1. Widowers and never bn married guys don finish abi?!

  8. Hmm..... What if the guy is not bouyant to take care of ur baby... Would u go ahead? Im asking for a friend

  9. Truth is, ur not d only one with this tot. I have such plans too and lord knows if d man doesn't come but God settles me financially den my dear, a child I wud get without d marriage title.
    In fact 2 cute boys Or a boy and a girl.
    I don't even judge baby mamas as I really don't know their story or neither have I lived their lives so can't say I wouldn't have done more than they did.

  10. forget society and get pregnant. that will be your source of joy,and you will have someone to take care of you at old age

  11. Do you so you can live with what ever comes with your decision.

  12. My prayer for you is that you find that special man to start life with.
    But don’t wait too long cos of your age. If you decide to be a baby mama, please go for it and have your baby.
    Better to be a baby mama than live a boring and sad life without kids.

  13. She says she needs a father figure that can take care of the baby.a sperm bank wouldn't do that for her.

  14. This touched me. God is your strength ma. You will be happy soon with your bundles of joy.

  15. I quite empathize with you on your
    predicament in marriage.

    There is a mistake married people make, I mean those who follow Jesus.
    When God created Adam and Eve, he gave
    them a garden "TO TEND IT". Yes, you have to work, fight the good fight of faith. Do not expect God to come and
    work out your marriage successfully for you.
    Jesus taught that as Christians we should fast more than twice a week (more than the Pharisees Matthew 5:20, 6:1-15). Do you remember the Pharisee that
    told God in the temple that he "fasted twice a week" and gave a tenth etc. Luke 18-19 read please.
    Most Christians that walk victoriously that I know and read about, devote three days in a week to fast and they wake up at midnight to
    pray for at least one hour like Jesus taught
    at the Garden of Gethsemane. That is what I do. That is our part because the forces of darkness are always at
    work to scatter marriages just like
    they did to Adam and Eve.

    Most Christians fast only when they have a problem and that is wrong.

    So dear poster when you tell us not to tell you about "sperm bank or adoption", you want to commit
    fornication and that one is not excusable before God. God is not going
    to change his word ("flee fornication...1 Cor. 6:18") because of your desires. If you had a dream to go and commit sexual immorality,
    you are succumbing to the manipulations of devils who are not
    yet satisfied that you do not have a
    home, they still want to destroy you.
    "For the thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy but I have come to give you life in abundance (John 10:10)"

    If you disobey God's word and end up missing heave, you lose and not God.
    So my dear Naija Sisi, we've got to be wise.

    When I come here and share the tori wey surround my marriage/life, many of una go dey chant "lies/perfect bla bla bla.". Whosai
    Life is all about sacrifice and a lot
    of you are not willing to offer any
    but want everything to always work out very well. If I have not lived
    the way I mentioned above, I would have had suicidal attempts too. I have been in a situation that I asked
    God to please call me home when I will still make heaven (a very dear one died). I was even engaged then. He went and showed my
    fiance where I died and was telling him bye. He rushed to the house and
    asked me what's happening.
    I told him and he began weeping.

    1. 🤝🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    2. C them 👆Jesus pa! Yeye dey smell
      The sperm in d bank how did it come? The man close eye produce sperm? Or u don’t know most banks keep porn video and magazines? U don’t know while dey r wanking ( igba ncha which is a big SIN as fornication) there imagination runs wild???
      Some can only jerk off watching Gay porn, potty porn, pediophile ( fucking children) Bistelity porn , name it! So that is d sperm u want me to use and produce a baby? Uchugbakwa unu.
      Pls swwwwaarrve with all this una church Brainwashed talk. Hissssss

    3. @18:07
      If you are the poster, you were rather rash and conceited/insulting in your outpouring of diatribe.
      You are in error not knowing the scriptures nor the power of God. Let's go to the scriptures:

      Romans 6:13 Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather
      offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of
      yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.

      So both penis, semen, wombs etc are "parts of the body"; are they not?
      And what are we supposed to do with them; submit them as instruments of righteousness; isn't it?
      So if a man donate his sperm to help a childless couple or lady or a man impregnates his wife or a
      woman donates her womb as a surrogate to help a childless lady (or donate her womb at death etc.)
      Has she/he not done righteousness with her/his part of the body?
      If you are not free with the sperm banks because of the things you listed above (which
      the ones I know though in the USA have the biodata/method of procurement etc. attached),
      why don't you find an anonymous or known donor?
      How about adoption, is that one also fraught with porn and bestiality?
      Are you looking for reasons/justifications to commit fornication?
      Mind you that artificial insermination does not guarantee pregnancy, God is the giver of
      children even when we apply the knowledge he told Daniel that "knowledge shall increase" Dan. 12:4
      If you abuse the grace of God by walking into fornication, you walk outside Christ... and into eternal doom.

    4. O si na o swarrrve😭😂😭😂... Una no go kill person for this blog. Poster hope it's not somebody's husband you are eyeing for the position of your baby daddy? Cos these women are not laughing with anybody again oo, you may not survive the process. Otherwise I wish you good luck.

    5. @Anonymous 18:07
      The way some of you ladies reason is very appalling. So if a husband and wife are childless
      and the man for instance has low sperm count and he is to masturbate to bring out semen for artificial insemination,
      you will classify that one too as "a sin?"
      Motives matter and God judges the intents and attitudes of men's hearts okay? Hebrew 4:12

  16. 41 n still dependent on ur mother. How do u intend to take care of a child then

  17. Whatever choice you make about birthing a child ensure you check your rhesus factor.

  18. I don't judge babymama, what i don't like is having it with another woman's husband, do it with a single guy instead.
    Good luck to you.

  19. My advice. Extend your faith. Ask anyone interested to reach out to Stella to discuss a relationship with you or post your number so people can call you
    You also get checked out well by a gynecologist

  20. I have an adopted daughter who was abandoned at birth. I do not love her any less than my other kids. She is still a pre-teen and does not yet know that she is adopted. Whenever she calls me mommy, I am most fulfilled. She is a very intelligent and well mannered girl. My husband thinks that I love her more than our other kids and I have never admitted or rejected that. Not because it is not true but because I do not want to cause unnecessary trouble for anyone.

    1. God Bless You.

    2. This comment made me smile with tears. God bless you ma

  21. Don't loose hope..Anything can happen.
    Just believe and trust for a miracle. Someone that will take care of you and your baby..

  22. I'm really touched by this your story. Poster please do whatever makes you happy, you're not getting younger, you need someone to take care of you at old age.

  23. Madam, how do you plan to take care of the child? The man? Why not find your feet first? Sperm donor is better to avoid drama and sin.

    I think you subconsciously want a man in your life. One to give u the kind of fairy tale u always wanted. Give u kids, take care of u and love u. You just may find him still. I hope you joined Stella's singles mingle yesterday? Maybe Stella should do a hookup post for you in ihn tmr. You may just find love.

    Is ur health OK? Why did u keep having miscarriages? Or was it a rhesus factor issue?

    Don't rush things. u may yet meet a single (maybe widower or divorcee) man to call ur own and make his children yours or adopt eventually if u can't have yours biologically.

    Life truly comes with challenges.

    Sending u warm hugs!

    1. You are right. She is lonely. She needs man first before babu ..from her write up

  24. No matter the money..
    Attainment of career...
    Height in life...
    If u have no kid it is not good.
    Who will bury u?church?
    Who will U spend your money on? Charity?.
    Empty you came and not live prints on the ground???.
    I can not imagine ooo.
    It is good to get married early and still be doing something..
    Some people want to have it all forgetting that a woman's time is going...
    You want to attain this and that when you do not know what lies in wait for u in the marriage like the poster's..
    My advice is to go to a sperm bank...
    I can not advice u to go into fornication.

    1. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

      15 years of saying I do is not a joke.

      It is well.

    2. You are both right and wrong. While it is very good to be married and have a family, some people will not be married through no fault of theirs. Some people will not have kids through no fault of theirs. Some are having kids they cannot cater for. On the other hand, some will be blessed with money or ideas and will use their talents to help humanity. Some have used their academic ability to invent even the laptop and phone you are using, or new medicines that have helped mankind. Is their life less of value cos maybe they had no kids? We all have a purpose for which we were born, and all our journeys cannot be the same. I understand that ours is a culture of 'marrying and borning children' but what amazes me is that for all the love we have for children, we have no plans for quality healthcare, or education or access to basic needs..except for the very rich. That to me, is one big irony.

    3. Tobie I pray for you today that God will shower his blessings on you and your children.

  25. When you've been through the fire, it's only natural to feel lowering your standards is being realistic, but darling, I'm here to tell you that isn't necessarily true. It's all in the MIND. If you truly believe you can't have a good man who would love you for whom you are at whatever age you are, and you keep meditating on that, your subconscious mind will adopt that notion and send out "vibes" that will keep the good men away. One of the greatest gifts God gave us is the power of the mind. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't know this so they go through life not developing their mind power.

    Sweetie, I don't care if you turn 45 and your menstrual cycle is just a day, there is a man out there who will love you like that as long as you believe you deserve it. As for having a baby, that's not always within your power, you can decide to be a baby mama and still not get pregnant because God wants something a lot better for you. Your decision to be a baby mama was borne out of frustration, something in you broke, that's not your true mindset. If it were, you wouldn't have felt the need to get married in the first place. Perhaps, you feel the need to prove yourself now that your ex has a baby. When adversity makes you change your perception of things in a less than ideal way, you give that adversity another go at you, it "wins" twice. Honey, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone, just be grateful for the life you have. There are millions of people in the grave who will gladly trade places with you.

    Dreams are not reliable and can be easily manipulated. That you had a dream, regardless of how vivid and accurate it might seem, doesn't mean it's a message from God. It could be your mind endorsing your desire or familiar spirits playing mind games with you. Darling, God who created Eve for Adam and is thought to be the originator of marriage, cannot encourage you to have a baby out of wedlock. You can go ahead and be a baby mama and He will love you the same but that is not his perfect will for you. Please don't be too quick to assume that dream was a message from God.

    Now to the most controversial aspect of this baby mama desire, whose man are you hoping will sire your baby? Most single men wouldn't want to have a child with a lady they have no plans of marrying, beside, most of them already have a lady in their lives. The men who wouldn't mind that arrangement are usually married. Would your desire for a child make you damn the consequences and bring sorrow to another woman? If someone had a baby for your ex-husband while you were married, how would you have felt?

    Honey, please revamp your mind, try not to be too negative. Develope an attitude of gratitude, be grateful for everyday you get to live with your health and sanity intact. Start saturating your mind with positive thoughts. See yourself as the Queen you are and don't allow doubt limit God's ability to give you the life you've always wanted. Haven't you heard of women getting married at 50? If you fish for negative stories, you will get a plethora of them, same way you will get positive stories if you look for them. After all said and done, if it is your earnest desire to be a baby mama, keep meditating on that and you will get your desire. Honey, let me leave you with this cautionary advice, from W. W. Jacobs "be careful what you wish for, you may receive it". I wish you the very best, my love.
    e-hugs and kisses.

    1. Go and marry her now! Get ur brothers honey sweetie sugar and them marry her. Hisssss
      Ana ako

    2. You echoed my thoughts. Life may seem unfair, but there is something good in all of what God created. It may try and break us all, but poster always remember we are God's children and he is with us till the end. As Jesus says, in the world you may have tribulation but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. The enemy may point all those negative examples to push you into wrong decisions. But hold the forthe and do not be discouraged.

    3. Ronald and Tob ie,you are God's children.

  26. Madam, believe this, God ordained the institution of marriage, He has made provisions for each one of us to have a soul mate. Of late, I realized there is this covert battle against this institution, against motherhood and the family institution, if you have this unshaken faith in God, getting your dream man is realizable, don’t belittle your self, the heart wants what it want, want the best for yourself and you will definitely get the best, Goodluck

  27. She never built or invested in her self. At 41 she has nothing doing. If u born now na suffer u dey o

  28. First of all make money and buy yourself a baby daddy. If you wait for a man to take care of you, you will chew concrete. Not the kind of men we have these days

  29. If you were independent, I’d have advised a sperm donor and you’re no longer a kid that you’ll be called to start explaining how you got a child. I’m 29 and I used a sperm donor...why? 1. I’m extremely scared of marriage and 2. I have Endometriosis which affects fertility and I was advised to have a child before 30 so I decided to help myself because all the men I met couldn’t be there for me cos of the endometriosis. Now I have a very cute and amazing Child that looks absolutely like me and has been adopted by my dad. The dad is not in the picture at all. Let me add that I’m not completely independent but I am to an extent and honestly God has been very good to us. No one will decide what you should. You have to be determined and you have to be emotionally sure that you’re ready to be a single mother because it’s draining especially if there’s no support from anyone. God will help you to make the right decision

    1. adopted by your when he grows older and ask after his father you tell him your father or spin a lie abi? that is so gross. I rather you have a man you can identify impregnate you than a sperm donor who is nameless and faceless....don't attribute your decision to God cos this is not his will, however your son definitely is loved by God cos he is a human life that only God can create

  30. Poster, is there a reason you aren't working ?
    Maybe it's the rhesus factor thing that disturbed your pregnancy?

    please ignore these 20 something dishnh out advice without knowing where it hurts

    Asking you to. Get pregnant without a job isn't a good one.

    All those screaming sperm banks don't know it costs money???

    Go out more and perhaps you will meet a like-minded man sooner than expected.

    Find a way to start earning asap.

    Best of luck to you poster

  31. Dear Poster, I will advise you to get a job or start a little business. To raise a child no be moi moi. Also, you can adopt a child. There is nothing wrong with using a donor sperm/donor eggs.
    Above it all, hold on to God. Remember that He created you for a reason.
    I wish you the very best.
    God bless you

  32. Life mostly doesn't turn out exactly how we planned,thousands of aged people are not taken care of by their kids,Many are in the villages and only get to see their kids once in years most times,these old parents take care of themselves and even some are still caring for kids who may have financial issues, try to adopt,learn a skill,get a land and build a home,and pray for good health,do charity and sit down they look life.

  33. Some people had kids and in old age but their kids died before them,some have kids who are not financially buoyant,Stop thinking kids are there to take care of you when you are old,look around you,how many grown ups do you see their parents around,Many of them have parents in the villages lonely,the aged parents still end up depending on other people's kids to assist them, this life get as e be, build a house where you can get rent from when you are old,or learn how to bake very well,it can help you at old age plus you can adopt.

  34. Poster, what would you like to start doing for a living ? I understand you are not financially stable . I can send you money to start a business of your choice so that way you can rent a place and start living like an adult . Stella, how do we help her out?

    1. Katelyn Montana1 July 2019 at 09:47

      Wowww some people just have a good heart. May God bless you for ever wanting to help her out in any little way. Thank you!


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