Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Early Morning Memo To Women On Why Marriages Are Crashing......

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Wednesday, June 05, 2019

Early Morning Memo To Women On Why Marriages Are Crashing......

 This is a must read..................I am sure over 70 percent of you will find tables you are standing on in this post..............








1.The wife that wins all arguments with her husband is not wise. The home is not a law court.

2. The wife that uses s#x as a weapon in the home – placing embargo, going to bed in jeans shorts and trousers – lacks wisdom.

3. The wife that uses the modern trends and laws of “women’s rights” to insult or ridicule her husband simply makes a fool of herself.


4. A woman that makes her home devoid of peace through bickering, nagging and quarrels needs help. A man should be eager to run away from office to be at home, for that should be the safest and coziest place on earth for him.


5. Modern-day equality in marriage does not mean competition. It simply means partnership. Taking advantage of such equality to turn around and become the de facto head of the home and oppress the man is tantamount to playing with fire. If you destroy your home, soon you will be the boss of an empty home.


6. A wise wife makes the man feel so good that he assumes that he is the head. Once he gets that feeling, the woman gently wields her power and the head actually turns to wherever the neck wants without a protest.

7. A wife that does not pull herself away from friends’ influence and advice or even from the control of her mother and father will have herself to blame.

8. When a man is looking for a wife, he bypasses women of different shapes and sizes to choose a wife. But soon after childbirth, many women hide under the excuse of childbirth to let go of themselves. Many stop bothering about their looks, shape, dressing, etc. Within 5 years of marriage, people start wondering if the wife is the man’s aunt, even though she is 7 years younger. Her defense is that if he truly loves her, he should love her the way she is. But when looking for a wife, he saw people like the present YOU and ignored them and settled for the former YOU.

 Today, you go to bed smelling of onions and pap. You go to bed wearing grandmothers’ clothes. Why are you playing with your marriage? Love is not about looks – we know. But looks enhance love and marriage. There is a difference between someone disfiguring herself and the person being disfigured by an accident. Please don’t be complacent. As hard as it may be, work on looking like you were when he first saw you and began the chase.


9. If every night you are tired, sleepy, sore, down with headache or fever, “not in the mood,” you are a joker, a serious comedian!


10. If your children suddenly become more important to you than your husband, you need prayers.

11. If you assume that as the woman, only you need to be pampered and fussed over while the man is a stone that has no emotions, you need to be pitied.

12. A woman that has the mind of a wife does not excite her husband. Wives are usually complacent and presumptuous. A wife must strive to have the mind of a girlfriend. A girlfriend is always nicer, sweeter, more loving and always thinking of ways to wow her sweetheart; a girlfriend does not try to win all arguments, does not call the man a “useless man”, is not careless about her looks or dressing, always smiles and laughs with the man, sends the man sweet messages and calls, etc. Are you your husband’s girlfriend in word and in deed?


13. When you rely on your beauty, cooking, character, connections and bedroom performance alone to keep your man and your home intact without putting God in the picture, you’ve missed it. Without GOD, it cannot be GOOD. Put God first in your home.

#copied

178 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Haaaaaahaaa

      African women ooooo

      When will there be written articles on how to keep a woman?

      How to keep her engaged mentally and make sure you stay sexy for her so she doesn't get bored

      How to snoop and make sure no man is courting their attention. .


      How do we ensure our husbandsite remain baby boys for life and not grumpy pot-bellied sugar daddy's

      How do we teach our men to put God first in the home

      Tufiakwa unu

      My sons already know that if they fuck around and my daughters in law complain to me they will be disowned.

      Thunder fire the devil and this 3rd world way of thinking the onus-lies-on-the-woman to keep a home sort of thinking!

      Ala gbawaaa unu anya

      Kam biakwa nu

      Delete
    2. I'm your team member anon9:06.
      This was probably written by a man.
      So tiring.
      Give women a break from these stereotypes.

      Delete
    3. And who wrote this nonsense😏😏, maybe it applies to those in Nigeria but not for me. I wont advice any woman not to take good care of herself but please give kudos to women.
      I live in the abroad without any help asides my darling husband and I can tell you I never knew having children or do i say having a family is a lot of responsibility plus I still do my 9-5. Drop the kids off at breakfast club: pick them up from their minders in the evening, get home and start to cook, feed the family, get the kids into bed, start sorting their stuff for the next day. Most times I'm exhausted and too tired to even have dinner. My husband helps a lot but we both work in the city and get home tired. The days I work from home sef: there's tidying up and stuffs to do oooo.
      Saturdays na for the children's out of school activities, Sunday Church ⛪, biko it's all round the clock so please give it to us when we are tired before going to bed some evenings. E no easy na 🤷🏾‍♀️.
      Learn to give kudos to women, we multi-task and most times we always put ourselves last.

      Delete
    4. There wouldn't be because you guys don't know where you are with yourselves. Women book is unending that why you don't have one

      Delete
    5. Anonymous 9.25 oyibo! Supu!

      Delete
    6. Anon 9:06 🔊🔊🔊🔊loud it

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    7. Women don suffer for naija sha......

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    8. Boring write-up.Say something new.

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    9. This women thing in this nigeria is something else. Imagine. Y hubby,went to report me to his sis. That one called and started preaching, men are always right and so. I just stopped her biko. And told her i am someones sister and daughter. That the problem is from her,because they did not train him well. That why will he misbehave a d am held responsible for his actions. That i have sons and am training them well. She just apologised a d ended the call. Rubbish women have really suffered

      Delete
    10. How about you tell men to stop cheating and learn to control that thing in between their trousers.If you don't know, cheating is the number one reason why marriages fail followed by finance,domestic violence and then incompatibility. This write up is so nauseating.

      Delete
    11. Anon 9:06 may you never lack good life. I love you babes. 😘.

      Inukwa Akuko. Nonsense and Tinubu 😏😐😣

      Delete
    12. No, sweetie, the number one reason for divorce is actually financial issues. I used to think it was infidelity too, until I read a survey carried out on 100 divorced women. I don't remember the various percentages, but the highest percentage were women who said they ended their marriages due to financial related issues. The second highest percentage were women who ended their marriages because of infidelity at the instance of their husbands. When asked if they would have remained with cheating husbands who are wealthy and good providers, a lot of women who cited infidelity as the cause of their divorce, admitted that they would have stayed in the marriage. Only few of them remained adamant that they would still divorce a wealthy cheating husband.

      I was quite amazed! I imagined infidelity would be the number one cause of divorce. Alas! It isn't. Goes to show the power of money. What broke my heart was that women who said they divorced because of domestic violence, were among the lowest percentages. Poor sexual performance was either the third highest or fourth highest. I was too blown away by what I had just read.

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    13. Not surprised. Who will divorce a cheating Dangote? A cheating Jay-Z? A cheating zuckerberg? Cos they're billionaires. McKenzie really tried divorcing Bezos. I mean only one cheat..only one oh. No Nigerian woman will divorce Jeff Bezos for that😂

      Delete
  2. Ok; I'm here for the comments. Read and learn Tbabe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let me perch here.... I guess this trash was written by a man. So na only women Dey keep marriages from crashing abi? Odiegwu really 😌

      Delete
  3. This won't still stop some men from cheating...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abi na. Men learn to be contented with one woman! Your wife!

      Delete
  4. Don’t mind them. Tomorrow they will b shouting side chick, fighting invisible enemies meanwhile common sexy 9t wear u can’t use.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What of those whom the man does not give money to;beats her on top.where will she see money for sexy things.abeg make una allow women rest.men this and that

      Delete
    2. I hope you also wear sexy night wear and not your dirty boxers and singlet from day before.
      Have a shower and wear sexy pjs too and spray nice after shave to get us in the mood with your six packs.
      Are women not supposed to be aroused too. Or we are stone ???

      Delete
  5. This actually broke my heart. I have never been happier being single. All this for one man? While I agree with many of the points, the man that deserves all this must treat me and provide, protect me like Jesus himself. Because Jesus accepted and forgave the women around him as they are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As he provides you also have to be contented. Not when he gives you 5k you are eyeing 100k. Knowing he doesn't even have it.

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    2. I value this comment.

      Delete
    3. I am telling u.u treat ur wife like thrash and expect her to be lovey dovey.nonscense.
      You will not employ maid the woman is stressed out with kids;work;housework and she should rember a_z of all these.anyway with what I have seen.most women are just on this Earth to fulfil a man's desire without even having dreams or aspirations of their own

      Delete
  6. Nice write up. I like the fact that the write up didn't play down feminism as misconstrued by a lot of people using it as a weapon against the opposite sex which shouldn't be so. You listed some very good points. However, I'll wait till when you do the sane write up about Men. Because I think our necks and shoulders are now aching from carrying most of the weight the society has placed on marriage to make it work.

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If they understand men as you claim, why are they still single? Nonsense!

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  8. I love that our men are such paragons of virtue who love, cherish and provide for their families. They are also very faithful, loyal, hardworking and so patient and tolerant and never abuse their wives. Walks sarcastically out of this thread.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahah love it

      Delete
    2. Your sarcasm can pull down the twin tower 😂😂😂😂😂

      Runs out of comment 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

      Delete
    3. LMAO 😀😁😁. Nigerian men comman carry una shade here

      Delete
    4. Dont forget their six packs and biceps and staying sexy for us.

      Delete
    5. Anon 8:45,
      U just described my Man, no jokes..

      Delete
    6. 😂😂😂😂👏👏👏.

      Delete
  9. It’s nothing new.
    Some women are just perfect but their men don’t care.
    They still go out and please themselves.
    Some women are terrible, they deserve exactly what their husbands do to them.
    Was it not some days ago I read where a woman put baby poop in her husbands food?
    That one is a killer.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Why is this whole write up advising only women?

    It takes two Mr advisor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So annoying.i have never seen a write up for women.all they will say is women can not be pleased.rubbished

      Delete
    2. The thing tire me .
      The advise should go both ways , lemme just end it here.🤕🤕🤕

      Delete
  11. Wife snatchers are on d prowl o, if u maltreat your wife, so far she has an open mind, another nigga is waiting by d side.

    If u like say it's a lie, that woman u call unkempt, fat, lepa, issa juicy snack somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you oooo

      Delete
    2. Consolation

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    3. Call it consolation naa,meanwhile she's collecting hot doggy n form d perfect woman in yo face 😁😁😁

      Delete
    4. It isn't a consolation speech , it's the truth.

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    5. 👍👍👍👍👍

      Delete
    6. You nailed it,the at which people are snatching g's and wife's eeeehhhh is becoming alarming.dear men hold your women well else another olojukokoro will help you.Did you read IHN yesterday? See how that man is hoping her marriage gets dissolved so he can take over.

      Delete
    7. Loud it. My boyfriend who claims he wants to marry has been claiming busy with work. I will be the one visiting,calling,cooking and trying to keep the relationship alive while he does nothing but feels so far he has a woman. Yes he helps financially when I am broke. But pays no compliments,no vals day,just dull romantically.
      Now I met a guy who is giving me all the attention I need,listens to me,treats me like I'm the most beautiful woman he has met and is even more financially secure.
      Now if I dump my boyfriend of 2yrs they will say I am wicked.
      But how do you just relax becos u feel you have me and you even tell me other women will love to be in my shoes becos he has things going for him.

      Delete
    8. Anon 10:45 dump his ass already albeit lowly! He wouldn't even know you are dating someone new. If he complains you don't shower him with attention as usual, tell him you are busy with work. Face the other guy and see what comes out of the relationship. No dull yourself atall.

      Delete
    9. Blackberry Baby girl 😘👏

      Delete
  12. Nice one.... Thanks for this

    ReplyDelete
  13. Guilty of 10. I will work on it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I meet a lot of couples that want to divorce after just few years of marriage, even some as low as three months of marriage. I think people go into marriage with a lot of insincerity, marry from pressure and never fully discover themselves before taking that huge step.
    Also I see that tolerance level these days is very low. Nobody is taking "nonsense" again but marriage comes with a lot of terms and conditions that are hidden and you really have to be willing to make it work.
    This write up should address men as well Stella.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First and second year of marriage usually has alot of challenges.they were impatient

      Delete
    2. You are right @ Tolerance level.
      It goes both ways its not totally about the woman.

      Delete
    3. I agree with you, the tolerance level is low.

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    4. I agree. The early years are more challenging. In the end, the two just have to agree to make it work. The woman alone CANNOT do it.

      Delete
  15. And who wrote this nonsense😏😏, maybe it applies to those in Nigeria but not for me. I wont advice any woman not to take good care of herself but please give kudos to women.
    I live in the abroad without any help asides my darling husband and I can tell you I never knew having children or do i say having a family is a lot of responsibility plus I still do my 9-5. Drop the kids off at breakfast club: pick them up from their minders in the evening, get home and start to cook, feed the family, get the kids into bed, start sorting their stuff for the next day. Most times I'm exhausted and too tired to even have dinner. My husband helps a lot but we both work in the city and get home tired. The days I work from home sef: there's tidying up and stuffs to do oooo.
    Saturdays na for the children's out of school activities, Sunday Church ⛪, biko it's all round the clock so please give it to us when we are tired before going to bed some evenings. E no easy na 🤷🏾‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U mind them.when the kids return from school with all loudness it just seems that one is confused at first before u start placing things.there are days u have had a long day coupled with all these.haba.some men can not help their wives.now to the newly Weds the way u start with ur man is how u will finish o.do not over pamper.if he is home.u need help voice out!!!.my hubby can wear diaper;clean poo.if he is home I have somewhere I can drop my baby.he baby sits when available.does chores when he can.do not start what u can not finish make stress nor kill u.
      In the morning i baths the kids whilst he cleans their body;Rob's crem ND dress up the younger one.
      Marriage is for both to put work.i have seen a baby poo.the mom was selling tomatoes for me the man refused to clean him up.yet the money is for the house.
      Pushing the baby away for crying and the baby was sick.pls is about the two.you tango

      Delete
    2. My sister loud it. Like women are super human. I have never seen an article as to what men should put into a marriage and sustain it and how they should be a help mate in raising the kids also.
      Most of us work same hours as these men and contribute sometimes 50/50. Even at work, your mind is constantly on the family and things that need to be done. You get home and your second job as wife/mummy continues while hubby dearest kicks off his shoes watching foot ball and expecting dinner.
      I really give it to you people in the diaspora with little or no help. Atleast here we still have some support.

      Delete
    3. In the diaspora, they don't have the added headache of facilities that don't work. For one, the average household has sufficient labour saving devices with energy supply to power.

      Delete
    4. Even here there are areas/estates with almost 24/7 light with round the clock Gen and all the devices you find abroad. You just have to have the means.

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    5. That's why I referred to the average household. The average household in Nigeria still suffers power outage.

      Delete
  16. Wifey duties is not beans sha...

    ReplyDelete
  17. The person that wrote this piece of shit is senseless.. must it be a woman that break the home.. where is the rule for men huh???
    Africa women too carry marriage for head like gala. Rubbish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 😂😂😂😂I can feel the disgust in your write up

      Delete
  18. They should post the one for guys.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Women this, women that. The expectation on women is sickening! Is a woman alone in a marriage or is it a partnership? Are the marital rules made only for women? Hia!

    Men also go out of shape. Sleep without having a bath. Wear rubbish clothes. Become lazy and complacent.

    Abeg, abeg. All these faults go both ways. Every gender is liable at some point.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How I hate dirty men.
      Makes me lose appetite.
      I see some of them looking very dirty and wonder how their wives cope.... mostly when they are fucking 😉

      Delete
    2. Thanks anon.

      Marriages are failing because of the immense pressure on women to be solely responsible for the success of the marriage.

      It is the responsibility of both parties to want the marriage to work which involves the above tips but should apply to BOTH genders.

      Delete
    3. Some with potbellies will be expecting their wives to have 0 waistline after 3 or 4 kids.

      Delete
    4. Some with a stomach like whom is pregnant.at least women had children.what did the men do???

      Delete
    5. Its always about what a woman should do,
      Hmm no one is lesser than the other or more superior than the other , it goes both ways .

      Delete
    6. They think women are super humans,so we should die.very annoying

      Delete
    7. I know a fat guy that says he doesn't do fat ladies. If you see his list for woman. And his 39 still living in his parents house with no ambition.
      He was now asking me to hook him up with any of my single friends. I said all are married.

      Delete
    8. Anon 11:35 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
      Oga is living in delusion of grandeur.

      Delete
  20. They have come! Abegi!!!!!

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  21. After doing all these,what are the men suppose to do?

    ReplyDelete
  22. So what about the man? It's always about how the woman should behave, that's why we end up having a lot of mysgonist around. Treating women with a lot of contempt as though the world revolves around them.


    Enough of all this biko.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Womem this women that! What about men? , u sound as though we are the only ones loosing when a marriage crashes, well you're not alone thinking this way, you and society..the man too should try to keep me, let's try to keep each other, if not we would both fail, not just me, and I can always remarry, so can he and learn from our mistakes, life is not that hard biko

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am sure that this women-centered post originated from a woman. Can whoever also tell me why some men cheat for no reason? Leave their God given dreams and visions to pursue that of a side-piece?

    I'm in sifia pains 😂😂😂

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm
      You might be right with your assumptions .


      Lol sorry about your sifia paynes😂😂😂

      Delete
  25. Thank you Stella!
    Women wouldn't listen!
    When I tell them on this blog,they would insult their grand mothers...not me!
    Side chicks are winning because they understand men very well.
    Side chicks turned wives know how to play the game called marriage because we have seen it all!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. iti mpaka!

      Pinky the babe...

      The Okpo1 of SDK blog

      We hail o

      Delete
    2. Pink lady, i hope when you get married and start having children you will still be able to write this nonsense comment 👆🏾 there and take the same advise uve just dished 😏😏.
      Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew 😏😏.
      To all hardworking wives and mothers, i give kudos to you 👍🏾

      Delete
    3. @09:26,I am not the side chick fucking your husband o,take your frustrations else where and learn how to prevent your marriage from crashing!

      Delete
    4. Anon 9:16😂😂😂😂😂
      Leave me please .

      Delete
    5. On point, Pinklady!

      Delete
    6. Crash ke? It can't happen ooo 22 years and we are both still going strong. Any side chick sef go see me fear, cos the person won't believe how ageless I look and God has given me the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. So my dear, I have nothing to worry about.
      I just think kudos need to be given to women, we do a lot of multi tasking and most times we always put ourselves last that some women forget to take care of themselves.
      My dear frustration no dey my dictionary, na to dey do omugwo dey my head oooo. Wishing you all the best my dear.

      Delete
    7. Consistently giving sick advice, pinklady repent from your evil!!

      Delete
    8. Winning you say. When they are longing for the man to just be able to spend the night. He fucks you,cant even cuddle bcos wifey is blowing his phone tp come have dinner , he puts cash beside your bed and off he leaves.
      Christmas/Newyear, vals day and special occasions you are on your own. Last last he sends you cash. While he carries his family to Europe for the holiday to have family time and you are stalking the wifes SM wishing you were in her position.
      If you are lucky you get your own man you probably need to feed before menoupause who will have his own side chicks outside with your money.

      Delete
    9. @11:59 aka mama ageless,Why are you giving me your marital updates?
      Did I ask you?
      Only the guilty explain themselves.Abeg keep your explanations to yourself, I dont need it.
      I am not the reason why your husband doesn't appreciate you at all😛😛

      And you 12:14,you are the sick and evil one who needs to repent,not me.

      Delete
  26. There is no lay down rules and regulations in marriage. What worked for B may not work for A.

    Just put God first, be humble and wise, ask God for wisdom, knowledge and understanding, study your man and and ask for grace to please your man (physically, spritually and sexually), children, in-laws, parents, relatives, yourself and friends.

    Be hard working and help your man out financially if he desires that.

    Mind your business and have power over your tongue and desires.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The question, is why must that advice be for women alone. Why not also address it to the men?

      Delete
    2. Because is for the woman to keep the home. Even in the Bible, is written be submissive and build your home as a wise woman.

      God created us with soft hearts and wise minds to take care of family and world at Large. That is why we can multitask at a time.

      That is why when you want to get married, pray to God for a man who fears and understand God's ways, respects the rules regulations of marriageR, respect and love you.
      Look beyond the material and physical things when it comes to marriage cos it takes a lot and only the grace and love of God to make it look spotless. I married at 22 and a lot of people asked me what I know about mmarriage. I asked God for wisdom, knowledge, understanding and grace cos my husband is a good and hard working man who does all he can to make me happy and give us the best in life.

      Delete
  27. If only those guilty at any of the aforementioned lines above, will take correction and learn.

    ReplyDelete
  28. 👍🏼 Nice one, everything said is relevant.
    We should have a similar memo for men. E.g:
    1) A man who always hangs out with friends till the dead of the night needs to be pitied; he still thinks he is a bachelor
    2) A man who raises his hands to hit his wife is condemned to having no peace
    3) A man who doesn’t help out in the home by doing some ‘masculine domestic work’ lacks understanding and doesn’t deserve the wife to help out financially
    ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is this mystical my dear friend on this blog?

      Delete
    2. Mystic hope you feel better today .

      Delete
    3. Thank you.
      A man who reports the wife to his family over everything .Xyz

      Delete
    4. Haha haha 😂 😂, tell them

      Delete
    5. @Anon 10:22, yes I am much better, thank you. @Iphie, nah, I have never used the name ‘Mystical’.
      Good morning all

      Delete
  29. Alright

    Where is the one for men?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Women have suffered. If only people will find the time to write such memos to men, on how to make their marriage work , just maybe.... Everyday how to please a man, how to please a man.. Haba. Does this life revolves around African men?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hmmmm
    Why is it all about women
    I believe it takes two to tango
    As much as a woman should work hard to make it so should a man. Men also change after marriage.
    My take though 👌👌👌👌👌👌

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stuff like this infuriates me ,
      But lemme just sip my tea and read comments .

      Delete

  32. Good one! Bravo poster! Finally the formula to a perfect marriage.Even death cannot do this one part.Wow! I especially applaud you on number 6.That is some serious skills.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
      Why are you like this?

      Delete
    2. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
      Lmao
      Good bye Kami

      Delete
  33. Rubbish post. Say no to oppression of women. It takes two to have a successful relationship. Keep giving out stupid one sided advice and nothing will change

    ReplyDelete
  34. This is such an embarrassing read.
    I don’t even know where to start!

    If this writter thinks most marriages are packing up because of women, I am sorry to say that conclusion is false.

    The reason marriages are not going to be endured anymore is because women have decided not to be bullied,bruised and made to keep quiet because of the stigma.

    A woman is ready to live with a pot bellied, balding, smelly man if only he respects her and keeps his cajuns in his trousers. She is ready to toil the soil day and night to help.
    No woman wants to go to bed smelling of onions and pap.
    Where was the husband when she was taking care of 3-5 kids, running after them, bathing them,feeding them and them slumping out of exhaustion? If Oga feeds the kids while she baths them, do you think she will smell of pap? What prevents him from rustling up something in the kitchen while she baths and feeds 3-10 kids he brought into this world?

    If as a man or woman you cannot feel good without the praises of people, You might be suffering from depression.
    No amount of worship or praise from your significant half will make you happy.
    Which wife wants to pick up fights when she isn't suffering from a mental problem? Every right thinking human being wants peace, the times you are nagged is when you take away peace from your wife, peace will ellude you too.
    And if you know your wife is bipolar, instead of calling the whole village to come and see what a bad wife you married, Get her help!! After all women have been living with men with mental problems since 1905.

    Marriage is give and take. From our experience with the few people we've counseled, you will notice that the major problems are usually cheating,lack of money and direction,undiagnosed mental problems,interference of inlaws,insecurity and domestic violence. None of which was addressed up there👆

    Please, women go through alot on the daily. Preachers and motivational speakers might need to find another topic.

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    Replies
    1. they say for a marriage to strive, one partner tends to ad-hocly play stupid just so to accomodate the redundant inconsistencies of the other and then, they always put such expectations on women as if they were some kinda numbed robots. What happened to Men inspiring em women to being the kinda gem they want. Yoh gotta polish yoh gem to glow the way that appeals alluring to you.

      Men are more the reason why most marriages don't work but just cos the daft uncouth society tends to always fault and stigmatize broken women more, while glorifying men and leaving them feeling like some kinda transcendent icon, they then feel they flawless

      Delete
    2. Kisses darling Iphie
      And a big hug too and loads of love and warmth from me to you.
      In fact you're my distant sister .

      Delete
    3. Spot on!
      Can we be friends already?

      Delete
    4. stella mbok we need like and love buttons for sensible comments like this...Iphie Dearie, very well said...you have spoke my mind...no need to comment again.

      Delete
    5. @Iphie, very well stated, my Peach.
      What the author of this post should have started with is the importance of marrying a GOOD man. When you are married to a good man, there's really nothing a woman wouldn't do to please him. Most women, anyway, because there are some women who take their husbands' love for granted and start misbehaving.

      I'm someone who believes a husband should be treated like a King, I feel that way because I'm blessed to be married to a man who treats me like his Queen, so I can run through a burning building for him because he is worth it. It impracticable and cruel to expect a woman to do that laundry list of duties for a man who barely acknowledges her existence. It takes two to tango and in a marriage, the bulk falls on the wife because she has to play multiple roles. She's the wife, mother, lover, seductress, adviser, confessor, prayer warrior, caregiver, nurse, cook, cleaner, supervisor, teacher, etc. The least the husband can do is show appreciation, provide and try to keep her happy. Remember, happy wife, happy life.

      Without first admonishing husbands, it will be hard for most women to receive this list in good faith. Even the Bible tells husbands to love their wives and wives to submit to their husbands. That was even in the era when women were regarded as second class citizens, yet men were told to love their wives. When you truly love your wife, submission comes naturally. There's a delicate balance that must be maintained. When you treat your wife like she's a burden or you did her a favour marrying her, even something as basic as preparing your meals will seem like slavery. If a woman is married to the wrong man and she does everything listed there, the man will take her for granted and still not love her. At best there will be periodic moments of fleeting affections but he still wouldn't give her the attention she desires. Before you know it, she will be all dried out and running on empty.

      The major reason why marriages break up is the marriages were built on the wrong foundation. People who have no business being together end up getting married for whatever reason(s). Then, of course, there are other unknown factors that break up marriages. The key is, marry the right person for you and know that no matter how blissful your marriage is, marriage is a JOINT effort of hard work and sacrifice. Both parties have to keep working on it.

      Delete
    6. Beautiful comments, Ronalda and Iphie.

      Delete
    7. Thank you Ronalda, most women too don't understand the power in appreciation.

      When your husband does any of these house chores for you even if you feel he should, just chip in a thank you so much love.
      I do that a lot. I act surprised and tell him thank you so much today God bless you. He will be like for what? Naaa... You are my wife and not my slave is nothing. I massage his ego by doing that and next time he sees it as nothing cos i respect. Even in my state now, I still try to sit with him whenever he is washing, I tell him give me let me spread and when he says no pls sit, I tell him I feel better don't worry. In all of these na his mumu bottom I dey try control cos I know he loves and adore me and he in return knows I respect him, so things just flow naturally.

      Delete
  35. Unbalanced memo. When I got married, I would cook everyday after work, make hubby's lunch for the next day. Saturday mornings, I'd be out of bed before dawn, cleaning the house (including scrub the bathroom), make breakfast early and do the laundry; while giving oga different sex styles, morning, evening & middle of the night (afternoons too on weekend). Sometimes, he'd ask for chips and eggs instead of what I had made and I'd do it.
    Even in finances, I kept loaning him money till he was over N1m indebted to me. I still was paying all the routine bills, fuelling the gen & buying household items as he'd pretend he didn't know such things needed doing.
    I waited on him hand and foot. However, I noticed after eating, he'd leave his dishes for me to clear. So, I asked him politely to clear his plate one evening (not wash it oh) and he flared up that why would I ask him to do that? This is someone that worked in shifts and would sleep or chill morning till 6pm before he went to work most weekdays.
    I told him to help scrub the bathroom and he ignored it.
    No one advised me to stop killing myself as I looked like a hag within 3 months.
    The bathroom floor became sticky, I cooked and left his food in the microwave (I stopped staying up to serve him late at night), he left his dishes in the living room and I'd let visitors walk in on them. I stopped loaning him money for there was none to give anymore. I cooked in bulk and started napping too during weekends...
    Outsiders started to comment that I was looking better as they had been wondering if I was ill the past 3 months.
    Point is, an unnapreciative man who cannot provide for the home, cannot defend his wife or make her feel precious is a waste of space and deserves a large spoon of his own medicine.
    Now, I live for me! I do what I can and drink water for the rest!
    No, there was no signs before marriage & he promised heaven and earth but delivered purgatory. Men pretend a lot too!

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    Replies
    1. My dear, I don't know if to tell you, you didn't marry a good and matured man, or how you asked for help from him. Sorry for that word if you find it offensive.

      Most women have their husbands mumu bottom cos of the way they humble themselves before their men. (Is not what you ask but how you asked for it) even God in his holiness no like nagging. My hubby from the very start helps me with house chores and I don't take nagative advantage of that in anyway. (Like rub it in his face or tell him will I die for you!!, can't you do it? Other men do it) or wait for him to come home tired and still want help from him if I have been at home all day.
      Friends most times when they visit sat question me and tell me to thank God.

      We both agreed to no house help as to avoid nagative influence on our child. Now that I'm pregnant and cos what hqpphapp with my first pregnancy we decided to get a live out cleaner cos the work of cleaning up and down alone will be much since he washes and cook most times now. All these too haven't stopped him from working his ass off, providing and making sure we are comfortable. I also help in providing simple stuffs in the house

      My sister na wisdom and understanding, grace from God too. I don't know how you both started shall. But I believe in miracles and taking to him maturely, lovingly, and calmly. When you need help ask him lovingly, I'm sure even if na devil he will feel it when he sees how stressful it is for you.

      Pls do not listen to anyone who comes to tell you "don't take it!!! Me I won't and can't take such NONSENSE... Is all lies, she could be going through worst. Is a man's world sorry but that's the way it is.

      Along the past 10yrs of my married life I have learnt to keep friends away from my marriage, my mum died when I was young, so I asked for help and grace from God. Thank God for the beautiful woman (my mother-in-law and father-in-law) that reciprocate my love positively. So I have backbone

      Delete
    2. Thanks. That's exactly my hubby. U can't please him oh. Nothing i do is good enough for him. Now I just do d best I can and leave the rest.

      Delete
    3. Well done dear unappreciative baggars anon 10.01

      Delete

    4. 10:01, thank God for you, you borrowed yourself brain early in the marriage. I did mine after years of marriage. Its not too late to make a change. Now I'm wiser. I do what I can in the house and leave the rest. He would be forced to wash the toilet sometimes when I abandon it.

      My story

      Before now I used to work so hard to provide for the home, he will just relax and keep bringing in peanuts and be relying on my own money. I gave him money for business running into millions over the years yet nothing to show for it. He keeps talking down at me, insulting me and making me sad.
      Since last year, I changed. I don't do anyhow work anymore, I relaxed, now he is the one running around to provide for the family. If I have my own money, I do little at home and use the rest to take care of myself and children. I buy clothes, make my hair, buy good cream and eat and rest. I don't feel sad anymore. I look good for my age, like someone who doesn't have any child.
      If he threatens me with divorce, I tell him I will survive, I won't go hungry (he too knows this), marriage is not by force. Now he has stopped the divorce threats, tells me I don't value my marriage. I just ignore him and live my life. Now he knows I don't care anymore and is looking for ways to make amends.

      Delete
    5. Eishhh. I give you kudos o, where do you get the strength to do all those things you stated?
      I didn't marry to suffer mehn, this my one life is meant to be enjoyed and God keeping me I intend to do just that.
      I don't have kids yet so why should I be going through that much stress when I'm living with an adult (husband) like me haba.
      It's understandable when kids are in the equation, not when it's just the two of you. Learn to be SELFISH once in a while.

      Delete
    6. Can you imagine a full grown man has a problem clearing his plate after eating.
      I always learn from one of my auntys experience.....never start what you cannot continue. By the time from dating you start doing master and slave relationship. Me that will come to my then boyftiends house and tell him hope there is food in your house because I am hungry. If no food he will drive out and buy. I do cook for him when he comes to mine too.. Every thing should be balanced from when you are dating into marriage. I do most of the domestic work when no nanny. But you gats give me a helping hand with your child if not with anything else.
      Couples need to be friends with eachother. I don't think your friend will watch you breaking down just to please him.

      Delete
    7. Thank you all for your rejoinders; I picked lessons from there as well. G9d-willing, he will change for the better. If not, there is an ultimatum on this union. I'd rather be happier alone with my baby than trapped with him.

      Delete
  36. Marriage is between two people, yet we blame only women. Some men that are very dirty, can’t change boxers, go to toilet and can’t flush, can’t cook ordinary indomie, 9 months pregnant men, all of you come together and complain. Why not buy her the sexy night gown you wish she wears, why not start the romantic messages and call, can’t you give a helping hand by employing a maid. Until you kill someone child before you know she has tried.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I find that unflushed toilet part simply intolerable.

      Delete
    2. * 'Not married but it's enough to make me end a relationship *

      Delete
  37. In a marriage, the man and the woman have their respective roles to play. Sadly in Nigeria, the responsibility is shifted to the woman only. They expect a woman to endure in a marriage even when the husband treats her like thrash.

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  38. Married women yaff suffered sha

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  39. Why is it that all these marriage write-ups are designed to please only men? I think women give too much in marriage yet they end up becoming door mats.

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  40. I once wrote my ordeal on this blog, even when some women have a wonderful husband, they take him for granted.
    Imagine, the woman I'm married to is a terrible cook, how can she wanna cook concussion okra, she started by boiling it first, then after 20min she added pepper and oil?
    So just yesterday, I was at home cos of the holiday, she went to work, I decided to surprise her by going to the market myself, bought ingredients for Afang soup and made it before she returned.
    To my surprise, she has a bad attitude of using her hands to sort whichever meat has bones while eating, then she'll push such to me and she'll end up eating those without bones...she did that yesterday and I flared up.
    Inasmuch as I know me now have big responsibilities at home, trust me, some women don't still know how to keep a good man when they are blessed with such.
    I married as a virgin whereas she wasn't.
    One of the points up there says a woman should make her home ecstatic for her man to the extent that he'll dash home after work, this I do everyday even though the home isn't welcoming sometimes.
    my advice to "real women" who want a blessed home, read and digest those points written above, lastly pray to God for a chaste and God-fearing man.
    peace

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oga sorry o,you are such a good man.
      How can she boil okra for 20 minutes?Yuck!🤢🤮🤮🤮
      Send this link to her and if she doesn't change her bad behaviours, do whatever you like!

      Delete
    2. Because you cooked once she should start worshipping you? What about the days when she cooked and you had different complaints about her cooking, did she flare up?You said that she can't cook Okro and you can,what is wrong in you showing her how to in a loving manner? African men thinks the world revolves around them in marriage not knowing that it takes 2 to tangle. Employing a house help would solve a lot of issues I am seeing in the write-up. Just ensure you don't overwork your househelp, c'est fini!

      Delete
    3. You ddi not get it.when you judge u judge with the majority not minority's.again they make it seem like the woman is the reason of divorce.read up.is the woman a robot.how many do please the women.oga shift abeg

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    4. Eya. Sorry. You can teach her how to cook if she's willing to learn. Am a good cook but hubby is a better cook and whenever i want to cook something new, I ask him for tips

      Delete
    5. Oga sorry about this ooo, but maybe you really need to talk to your wife. When I got married I couldn't cook ordinary jollof rice, I could fry Plantain, prawn crackers, boil egg, minor food etc 🤭😂🤣 but I actually enjoyed cleaning🙄. But my darling husband taught me how to cook and it took over 4 years for me and I'm not joking. I even started learning on YouTube, i live in the abroad but I will travel to Upton Park Market just to buy igbo food ingredients and we are Yoruba just to add spice to our meals. People eat my food now and say I'm the best cook but they don't know where I'm coming from.
      I never used to wear make up but my husband did magic, he would encourage and all sorts. I dont wear extravagantly but my makeup is top notch 😉🤭🤭 "just kidding" but I dey try.
      Please Sir, call your wife and talk to her, my husband will buy me things he likes and would love to see me in and thats how we bought grew.
      We start from somewhere, wishing you peace on your marriage 🤗.

      Delete
    6. One fact that deludes many girls/ladies/women on this blog is that there are still very good and chaste men who love to stay with their mate/wife at home than to go drink, water soccer or flirt around. I am not blowing my own trumpet🎺, but I am one of the many of such men around. mind you I'm taken😂

      Anon 11:06
      I laugh at you cos you're naive and uninformed. For your info, I cook most of the meals at home cos I love my wife dearly, I only voiced out cos she's been unappreciative most times. I'm a good cook, so cooking ain't a burden to me. I just want her to fill in for those in other areas...
      To talk of housemaids, omg, inasmuch as I know I'm chaste, I can never deliberately put before myself any temptation. Most men who sleeps with their maids didn't plan it, it began gradually.
      So thank you for your advice, I don't need it. We will keep managing ourselves till we get it right.
      I will still restate my point, women should value their husbands especially when you have a good one, that's the problem I identified in my case.

      @Tenth
      Your composition is bad, I can't even understand what you wrote up there. work more on punctuations okay.
      Peace

      Delete
    7. Uncle send her to a culinary school nah or do the cooking since you are a better cook.🤷‍♂️

      Life is not that hard, Understanding is key.

      Delete
  41. Well, my take is that marriages will keep crashing until people learn that it takes two to tango . It takes commitment , dedication and hard works from both parties to make a marriage work. Until people like whoever created this weird list learn that, marriages will keep crashing. Also most marriages with problems evolved from wrong choice of spouses. More effort should be placed on advising singles and making them understand that marriage is not about fuzzy feelings but about finding a friend and partner that you can work with through the whirlwind and the storm.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Pick what will be useful for you from the write up and help yourself. All these women who married the wrong men will complain, but if you are with the right man, most of the tips up there flow naturally. No be me force una marry men wey no appreciate una. I must marry by fire by force put you in the wrong place, carry your cross.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chop kiss my dear!😘😘😘😘😘Most women on this blog hate the truth!
      There are good men out there and there are bad men too.The same goes for women.
      Marry a man/woman who's worth it!
      If you cannot take the heat,leave the kitchen and stop wailing!!!!😛😛

      Delete
    2. @PinkLady
      This your comment would have made more sense had you not been a sick chick. 😔😔😔
      So you're part of the reasons why some homes get broken 🏃🏃🏃

      Delete
  43. @ IPHIE DEARIE BEST COMMENT SO FAR, U VE SAID IT ALL .THE WRITER DIDN'T ADDRESS MAIN ISSUES AT D MOMENT IN MARRIAGE .PLS D WRITER SHOULD GO BACK N DO RESEARCH ON THE CURRENT ISSUES AS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, TOO MUCH FAMILY INTERFERENCE FROM D INLAW.LACK OF FUNDS IN D HOME, TOO MUCH EXPECTATION FROM D WOMAN ETC.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Wisdom rides on the back of knowledge, people...
    This post can only resonate with the wise...

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    Replies
    1. God bless you Loveth for saying that. A lady brought up from a good home will naturally most of the things written up there without being told. It will only be difficult for those who ain't ready to accept a man as their head, the slay mama, the IG small girl with big gods.
      As for me, I've checkmated myself and seen where I need to improve.

      Delete
    2. Anon 12:01, no one is entirwky berating this write up. You dont get it, do you? We are asking what part the man has to play in all these? Most women were trained from childhood on how to please a man, be the perfect wife and mother, it is expected of you. Who is teaching men on how to sustain the home? All the above listed come naturally to a woman who is pampered and at peace in her home. Nothing new in all those things listed yet marriages are breaking up left, right, and centre. Isnt that an indication that we are still missinv it somewhere and tactics/approach/advise should be changed?

      Delete
  45. No 9. “If every night you’re tired” why won’t she be tired? Only one person cooking and taking care of kids, yet she’s not allowed to be tired. If he had helped out she won’t be tired.
    Women are not the reason marriages are crashing. All those stuffs listed there are trash.
    As a man I’m disappointed in that write up, Stella please stop posting misogynistic things. Let the oppression end with our mothers and grandmothers. Any woman who agrees with this doesn’t know better, this is all they know cos their dads were trash to their mom and it become normal to them. Women would do that and more and the marriage still won’t work. This writer is so biased I can’t stand it. I won’t be shocked if this garbage was written by a woman. Nonsense!!!

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  46. I totally agree with the points above. Not because marriage defines who I am or without a man I won't survive but if you decide as a full grown woman to be married, won't you love to have a happy and peaceful home? And if this is what it takes to achieve it, is it too hard to do?

    This is your part to play, let the man play his own part too. Afterall, Joro Olumofin or so usually posts stuff about what men should do to make their wives happy so it's not a one way thing. To me, the above points is not a big deal.

    ReplyDelete
  47. The reason why marriages are breaking everyday is not because of any of the above. Women have stepped up their game. I will tackle all your points in the same order presented.

    1)Women are not so fixated on winning arguments anymore. When in doubt of their stance on an issue, you see wives ask questions anonymously on fb groups or whatsapp to hear other people's opinion. This I call being objective rather than opinionated.

    2)Wives are aware that there are strip clubs everywhere and sex is also very cheap and available, so denying sex isn't an option for punishment.

    3)The wives who employ "women's rights" are actually trying to enlighten their men on the existence of these rights and to remind them that times have changed---women can now drive cars and be given driving licenses, pilot aircrafts, take on white collar jobs, make it to the board room and think independently.
    Sadly, some men have still realized that times have changed and women no longer belong exclusively to the kitchen and the other room.

    4)Only a mad woman will wake up and start nagging over nothing. There is a law of cause and effect. If you get your wife upset, she will definitely spread the unhappiness. Remember the saying: HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE! Some men use this formula to escape nagging by keeping their wives happy. When you fetch firewood infested with ants, do not complain that lizards are invading your yard.

    5)A man should be a man not only in name or words but in deds too, financially and otherwise...Else who is to blame if he gets complacent and his role usurped? Men should buckle up and man-up.

    6)...and vice versa. The man too should make the woman feel so loved and secured that submission and humility flows naturally. The Bible in Ephesians 5:21 talks about submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Nobody needs to use anything to manipulate anybody, if the fear of God is there.

    7)This advice if for both husband and wife, please.

    8)Majority of women are honestly engaging in road walks(I see them everyday on my way to work), some go to gym morning and evening, many are on diets(especially keto) and are drinking all sorts of slim teas, some even go the surgical route to get rid of fats by liposuction, fat freezing, fat shifting etc Recently, I was told that a woman ingested eggs of tapeworm so that whatever she eats doesn't deposit on her body but goes to the worms...I disbelieved until I googled...women are going to extremes just to stay in shape, the question should be : what aren't women doing to stay in shape? For the few women who aren't, their men should lovingly encourage them to do so instead of resorting to sidechicks; afterall love sef should be unconditional- "in slimness and in fatness"...men are also known to have pot bellies mostly beer induced, and their wives are not running after six-packed lads.
    By the way, what is to be said about some women who don't look like their bodies have gone through childbirth but whose husbands are actively cheating, sometimes with big-bellied side chics...lol.

    9)...and who says it must only happen at night?How about early morning doings and mid-day/lunch hour snack sex?

    10)Everyone needs prayers, anyway. Fact.

    11)Stale assumption, women are no longer in the stone age. We stay woke!




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another valid set of points. We stay woke!

      Delete
    2. We stay woke mehnnnnnn✌✌✌✌✌

      Delete
  48. 12)The men behave differently to their girlfriends as they strive to fulfill every demand while the wife's demands are put on pause or outrightly dismissed sef--such men cannot escape the useless man tag...and check too, is he useful? lol...on the other hand, the men who satisfy their wives (and oh! women are not hard to satisfy) get the treatment of the Yoruba wife who knelt down during her birthday party organized by her loving "Oko mi" to shower praises and prayers on her husband, who even tried to stop her but the woman was unstoppable, the gratitude could not stop flowing as she went on and on and the loving husband got emotional and cried tears of love...Principle of cause and effect!
    We also saw pictures that went viral of a wife who bagged a PhD and went on her knees in gratitude to her husband who was a speaker of a certain house of assembly, the man too tried to stop his wife by lifting her but she also couldn't be stopped from expressing gratitude to her "Lord" the way she deemed fit...there are still some men whose wives call" My Lord" like the biblical Sarah by virtue of being an excellent husband...such men are worthy of emulation and only death can end such marriages.

    13)Unbiased truth, no argument at all...God first!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh God i love youuuuuuu. If my husband does all that and more for me why won't I kneel and prostrate, why won't I adore him bikonu??

      Delete
  49. Useless article.

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  50. This write up really brought me close to tiers, African woman is over burdened with little or no appreciation from the male folk , we need to start training the boy child on how to cherish a woman

    ReplyDelete
  51. It is written in the book of Genesis 3 :16, to the woman He said : "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception, in pain you shall bring forth children, your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." I think that settles the ills in marriages if we understand that it's from the beginning.

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    Replies
    1. na only old testament dey your bible?

      Delete
  52. Nice write up but the writer forgot to write about the other party. Why must it always be the duty of a woman to make marriage work? Men too need to up their game, not be complacent as well. Don’t grow big bellies, stop snoring, flush when you pee.. all I’m just saying is that when writing things like this, please look from both angles.

    ReplyDelete
  53. For once, I would like to see a long post dedicated to men on marriage. Please how many people were beauty queens before they married. i had my big tummy, my makeup-less face and my fashion-devoid self so I'm thinking that my husband must have seen something beyond the exterior. All these long posts are just repetitions of each other. Marriages have been breaking forever. It takes two to tango. Shift to one side abeg

    ReplyDelete

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