My dad died in his 60s and had 2 elder sisters, the sister in Lagos had health issues so we had to relay the news to her carefully. We got the elders on her street, when she saw them she knew something was up. She started panicking and asked of her children, that it's like something bad had happened to her children.
Her children came forth and told her everything was fine but she knew something was wrong so she asked her children to call my dad. That was when she was told and she fainted.
My dad's Aunt is still alive, she was like his mum. Till date she hasn't been told that he is dead and he has been dead over 10 years now. Because he was a force man, they told her that the government took him to America for a training and he would spend 7 years. She said she would die before he comes back and she couldn't understand why he left without seeing her.
A friend's mum who is in her 80s lost the younger brother 2 years ago and she is yet to be told, they keep telling hear different stories on why he doesn't call her anymore or come to see her.
Lots of people have lost loved ones that they are yet to know about......
I presently have a friend whose mum is in her 70s but she's had health issues of late,in and out of hospital. She's still very frail,hardly leaves the house.
ReplyDeleteHer last sister of about 60 who is her favourite and she trained died 3months and buried and they are yet to tell her. They said this is the 2nd younger sibling she is looking in 5yrs so they are scared to tell her before she lands in hospital.
My friend keeps hoping she doesn't ask for them to call her on the phone for her one day.
My Mum passed in 2017, and my grandma does not know yet. She was told mumsy travelled abroad, but i know she suspects something is not right, cause she keeps saying that's no reason for her to not reach out for so long. It is well.
ReplyDeleteWhen my brother in law died, his mum was alive. We couldn't tell her immediately but she later got told and she died not too long. When my mum died, I was cajoled from school, got home and when I saw crowd, I thought it was my granny only to see granny crying to hold me, went to my mum's room and I knew immediately it was mum. When I was travelling out for the first time my dad fell ill, I warned my sister not to hold back if anything happened, immediately i saw her call early in the morning, i knew papa had gone. This life eh. I laugh when people fight over mundane things. If only.....
ReplyDeleteThis life ehn, since I lost my mom I take life as a pinch of salt.
DeleteI told my only brother to go pick our last Born from school. She said immediately she saw him, she knew Mom has passed away. It hurts till date.
Just continue to be strong. Just know only God that gives comfort. It is well in Jesus Christ name Amen
DeleteGod is your strength Olori. I thought your mum only had 2 kids.
DeleteThanks yori
Delete15:25 No
Anon and Olori, your posts made me cry.
DeleteI hate bad news, especially when death is involved. I was pregnant when the news of my uncle's death was broken to me. I cried for days. I'm too emotional so my family hardly tell me any bad news.
ReplyDeleteThe kind of brothers I have ehn, they can break any news to you not minding your health status or emotional condition.
ReplyDeleteI could remember when one of my brothers died 9years ago in luth, our first born just called my aged mother to inform her without considering the fact that she could faint from hearing such news.
Sometimes, it is better not to inform some certain people of the death of their loved ones. Till today my FIL is yet to know that his first born/son is dead since 2016, else the thought of that alone would have killed him.
When my mom passed last year,it was so difficult to tell her eldest sister in Abuja.When she was in coma in the hospital I called and told her. After she died, she kept calling our phones but no one picked.It was my cousin we told who later told her after 3days. I heard she fainted and was rushed to the hospital. She hasn't balanced till now. I had to block her on my status because my mom lives on.
ReplyDeleteWhen my maternal uncle died they couldnt tell their mum. It was such a shock and even till date i still can’t believe he’s gone.They told my grandma he travelled out but she didnt believe coz she said even her other kids abroad calls her. Unfortunately my grandma died last year too and she wasn’t aware of his death till she died. Hopefully they must have reconnected at the other side *sad face*. It is well.
ReplyDeleteChai 😢
DeleteI was in year 3 when my friend died, killed by a rival gang, he's d only surviving son of His mother, she loves him n even if u tell her he's a bad guy, she won't believe u, I called his aunt n informed her of his death, they came n took him for burial in d village, n told me never to inform d mother, the mom lives in d same city as me, its been 11yrs now, d woman is in her early 80s, I Dodge her so much, but d family keep sending letters,money, gifts, posing as d boy just to keep her happy n hopeful.
ReplyDeleteWonderful. The mama has never seen the son even in dreams. This is wonderful
DeleteWow!!!
DeleteOh Lord!
DeleteWho opened the tap in my eyes? Does anyone else imagine these things about their loved ones and know deep down they don’t have the strength to take it?
ReplyDeleteMy dad was Attacked years ago and shot. When I heard, I cried for days and couldn’t eat. It was only his leg the bullet hit and was affected. I was taken to the hospital to stay with him before I was calm.
I always pray to God to grant my loved ones death at old age only. I mean old age. That way, we all know it won’t be long before meeting again. AMEN
Amen.
DeleteMy boyfriend passed on 2years ago,worst part was that I was fighting him for no reason and we didn't make up.his friend called me immediately to tell me, I fainted at the spot.how I survived it I didn't know.he is based in yankee and came to complete his house in the village. Up till now I can't stop blaming myself.i was looking like a mad woman during his burial. This life is useless. Vanity upon vanity
ReplyDeleteEayah sorry. Village people really dealt with him. It is well with you. You just have to be strong and move on
DeleteI remembered when we lost our last born from mum,he was few month old when my mom died and was staying with my grandma...there was no phones then,he died DEC 25,1995.my aunt came from the village without saying anything, she ate and watching movies saf,lols,so my dad was asking about people at home..like how is mama?she said fine,how is junior? He's dead,and she was still watching her movie without blinking.. My dad was just looking at her..
ReplyDeleteWhen my dad died,one of my uncle just called and said go so so place tell her ur dad just died now now..I streamed
So many insensitive people in your family. Sorry dear
DeleteAunty Sharon pls always proofread. What!!!
DeleteWaooooooo oh my God
DeleteChai, your aunty sha. Is she human at all?
DeleteMy grandma was 97years old when her first child died. No one told her till she died 3 years later. My mom said she will be surprised when they see each other in heaven
ReplyDeleteAwwwwww
DeleteI remember when my Grandma died. We weren't told. We were still in boarding house when it happened. Every visiting day, she' usually the 1st to show up and they announce our names in the hostel. She didnt come. We were angry. She normally brings food for other students who parents don't show up. Some weeks later we went home. It was strange how the driver started honking even b4 he got to the front of the house (not knowing her obituary was pasted on the gate) meanwhile we had a friend with us who wanted to meet our grandma for the 1st time. Ad soon as we got into the compound, a relative started crying and broke the news to us. My mum had to scold her. We all slept in her room that night. Continue to rest in peace Mama. 😘😘😘
ReplyDeleteAmebo relative.
DeleteSerious Amebo relative. Always crying more than the bereaved😒
DeleteI lost my Dad last year. How did they break the news to me. Hmmm. They dribbled me from one hospital to another. Had to call my uncle. He told me to come over. He was the one that broke the news to me. Exactly a year last month. Continue to rest in peace Dad. 😘😘😘😘😘
ReplyDeleteThe night my grandma died, our last born was about 4months old, he cried all evening for no reason till my mum finally put him to sleep. I was holding her phone when my uncle called, I put the phone on silent because I had the feeling something was very wrong. I picked the call after a while and gave her, then he casually said "Hauwa, Oja was involved in an accident this afternoon and died this evening, we just brought her corpse home" and ended the call. My mum almost ran mad! It was one dark period in our house. Continue to rest in peace my Oja.
ReplyDeleteI loathe people keeping bad news from me. Just spit it out. No drama, no preamble. People have to be emotionally resilient. All this with holding is annoying. Meanwhile if it is horrible gist, they will spread it like butter on toast.
ReplyDeleteWas outside Nigeria when I lost my dad 4yrs ago, I already had the feeling something wasn't right with me from in the morning.my dad gave up at extactly 9pm and my yeye elder bro broke the news to me at 12am,they asked him why he broke the news to me that fast and in such a way he said so I could get mysef ready to send Money for burial,thankGod a friend was with me that night,i fainted ooooo, thankGod for strength to move on
ReplyDeleteYour elder brother is heartless sorry to say so his major concern was for the money you'll send for the burial, he wasn't even considering how you would take the news.
DeleteYour brother eh, Kai why are some people like this?
DeleteWhen my sister died I was saddled with the task of breaking the news to my Mum. The most difficult task of my life. 3years ago but we are yet to heal. My views of the world radically changed. I just live for the day and thank God if I see the next. Subconsciously wishing for death. I'm just tired of trying.
ReplyDeletePlease continue to hold on o. Don't let your sister's death be in vain. Sometimes you have to say to life fuck you! I know it's not easy having lost children myself but please don't slide into the depths of despair.
DeleteMy dear all it's well
ReplyDeleteU can not even type
Because i have lost an elder bro and 2 immediate older sis
People of the world
Hmmmmm,my immediate elder brother was gasping for his last breath and calling my name at the same time,he eventually gave up and I had to close his eyes with my hands.Such a terrible way to go after battling with kidney infection for more than two years,I still have nightmares up till now and still see his dimpled smile in everything I do,sometimes I asked myself if their is something I should have done which I didn't do. I was the only one with him in the hospital so I had to call my other siblings and other relatives to break the news since we are orphans,I wiped my tears and made arrangements for his corpse to be taken to our hometown for the burial and all thru the journey with him in the car I couldn't drop a single tear because I couldn't just wrap my head around the fact that my brother is no more despite all the pains we went thru to make him better but I am happy he is free from all pains and has gone to rest. It has been more than a year and I still get mood flashes whenever I remember him which is all the time,May Allah forgive all his sins and grant him eternal rest🙏
ReplyDeleteAmen.
Delete😢
DeleteWhen my grandma's younger brothers died, they couldn't tell her until after sometime.
ReplyDeleteWhen the second one died, she was not told and she was unaware because she was not in the Village when he was buried.
After some months, she still asked after her brother from his wife. She was always pestering my aunt to take her to his house.
This is my best post, may jehovah grant us the strength to endure the death of our loved ones.
ReplyDeleteThis ,right here,is what I dread most in the world.
ReplyDeleteLosing loved ones.
No amount of money can bring them back.
So much pain.
I know its something I must pass through so I am waiting
When my grandfather died,on that very day I called grandma who was with him and asked after him, she said he was at the hospital, I was like who's now with him she said my uncles. I called one of them to give the phone to Grandpa, he scolded me saying didn't I know the old man was very Ill and couldn't talk, I let it slide, they did that for 2 more days, until I called grandma again and after she repeated the same thing she forgot to cut off the line, so I just stayed on listening until I heard *we've not told her*. At that point I needed no other explanation.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother's junior brother died more than a year ago,he was the last Born and still ate his meals at my grandma's, he was pampered till old age so nobody could tell my grandma till now,she believes he is ill and in the city recuperating!!
ReplyDeleteMy mum had a car accident on her way to visit me and my kids...unconscious for two days we did all we could. That faithful night I left the hospital at 9pm cos my sister was sleeping and i will releave her the next morning...mummy passed away in her arms at about 10:30pm. I was home praying when I got chills and later heard a knock at the gate..her dogs were barking I didnt stop praying. My sister knocked our bedroom door and said...sorry, hugged me but I was numbed. Insisted I see her body before it gets to the morgue. Appreciated her and thanked her,prayed at her feet which was tied already...I couldn't cry till the next morning. I still miss her so much because there is no one and no one can ever be like her. God help us all, physical separation from a loved on is one terrible thing to go through.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lost my elder sister I nearly ran mad,never even knew she was ill for a month(cos we were in different states)only for me to come back from the market and saw people gathered in our compound some holding my mum who was wailing and others trying to pacify my grandmum of blessed memory.
ReplyDeleteI don't joke with my mum so the sight of her crying that badly put fear in me and I rushed to meet her thinking she was hit by a bike or probably had an injury only for my uncle to call my name and as I turned the next thing I heard was"Blessing is dead".I later saw myself on the road to a river close to my village with youngmen chasing after me speedily and the moment they caught up with me they held me tight and carried me back to the house(Only God knows where I was running to).It's been 13years now but my dad still cries uncontrollably at any slight reminder of her.
My immediate elder brother claims to still see her from time to time(Infact he claims they discuss...Story for another day).I keep wondering if I'll ever be able to pull through should anything happen to my mum cos even small accident like this I'll be crying and shaking like a baby.it is well
🤧😢😢
ReplyDelete