Stella Dimoko Saturday In House Gists -Things You Wish You Discussed Before Marriage


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Saturday, June 29, 2019

Saturday In House Gists -Things You Wish You Discussed Before Marriage

This post is very Important!..... 

Are there some things you wished you had discussed with your spouse before you got married?Things you wished you knew before walked down the aisle?

Things they didnt tell you that you discovered after it was too late....?
Shocking secrets that you still wonder how it is possible?

Are you still in the Marriage or you walked out after discovering things that you should have known before you went in?


  1. Strictly for the married ones πŸ’πŸΏ‍♂️

    1. And those wey dey wan marry/are engaged
      wetin una dey hide?
      Ajuju kpu oku n' onu!
      Make una no carry anything (fork and shoot off) go graveyard o

    2. @Slutty
      We can still learn from them

    3. Ndi "Lilly" marketers ngwanu oo?

    4. I disscused everything oh,up to the no of kids we wanted. To how we should bring them up and all. How set goals for various years. I'm 13years in marriage and so far so good.

  2. Grabs a bottle of fanta. Over to the married ones! Here to learn.

    1. Announcement?

    2. Yes o annon! I gat announce cause you never can tellπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    3. As we don hear the announcement
      Dudes ngwanu ooo

  3. Here to read comments and gain some knowledge.

  4. Scarlett formerly Troll29 June 2019 at 14:03

    *sits down in learning mode*

  5. pls come and share guys. before we carry our two left legs enter one chance.

  6. Mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhrrrrr! I interviewed my DH (then fiance) very well. Anyone I remember, I dey write am down or I dey call am for phone fiaaam! 😜😜
    He was always so eager to spill everything whenever I asked. He was so pleasantly shocked and joyful that
    I said "yes"...Im mama been tell me say im no chop for three days out of joy... cos even with all the "revelations", im do homework come sabi the people wey "I been reject".

    Eheeeem, the one wey I hide from am be say I get "another citizenship". We dey prepare to travel, so I suppose bring my passport for "visa".
    As my Naija passport don expire then,
    I no fit hide, so I carry the thing
    throway give am, im jaw dropped! 😯😯😯
    Later he asked why I no tell am, I said "it wasn't doesn't define me...and I don't care
    about it..."

    How about my Naija girls/friends?
    Make I read them (Pharisee) chants.

    1. ANG good afternoon πŸ™ŒπŸ½πŸ™ŒπŸ½πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™ŒπŸ½
      I never marry so I go read comments
      But I get fiance and we are very open to each other,
      To avoid 'had I known'

    2. You can praise yourself Ang

    3. @Sluttychikito

      Good yarns
      So, why that ya name
      Na that one still dey confuse me o
      Abi "fiance" no mind runs? πŸƒ‍♀️πŸƒ‍♀️πŸƒ‍♀️
      Which kind fiance be dat?
      Anyway, I wish you everything good from
      Baba God as you dey begin marital journey.
      Make you study am well well like ya final year project inugo?
      Ahaaaaaaa. And remove (stolen) fork from equation
      as that one dey dirty the whole thing and make trust
      vamoose fiaaaaaaaaaam!
      This "open to each other..." make e bi character o and not


    4. Im no chop for 3 day because of joy... πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

    5. ANG everything about you is always perfect. I think you are FAKE!

    6. @SideChikito
      No be "self praise" ma ncha
      If you understand am like that, forgive me.
      If you sabi ya worth as a woman, you go know say
      na the man wey marry you be the one wey get favor inugo?
      No be all these pursuing men and opening legs asunder for them...
      Okay see as Baba God yarn am;

      Proverbs 18:22 The man who finds a wife finds a TREASURE,
      and he receives favor from the LORD. NLT

      It pains Baba God when (Naija) girls dey cheapen themselves aghara
      aghara they scatter legs give forkboys tohtoh make them finish.
      And they sacrifice unborn innocent babies give devils.
      Know your worth woman, you are a TREASURE!

      The man is not the treasure, the woman is! Check for more in
      Proverbs 31.
      Why do you think say the Kingdom of Darkness dey always look
      for women and not men? They want to steal the TREASURES of mankind!

    7. @Strawberry
      Thanks for the insults o
      What you call "perfect" is "another citizenship"
      Abroad, oburo ya?
      How about marrying a man I was worth ten time more than (before marriage)
      is that one "perfect" too?
      Will you (Naija) girls approach such a man?
      How about my boobies which I once admitted that the lady that
      stripped to try to seduce my husband had very good ones "a lot better than mine?"
      Is that one "perfect?"
      How about me admitting that I would have liked to have "a football team of pikins" 😜😜
      but due to some circumstances, we aren't at the moment??? (please it
      has NOTHING TO DO WITH infertility or finance but God's timing) Is that one perfect?
      Your understanding of perfection is warped and that's the issue.
      Nobody has it all...and what matters is how you handle the matters when you face challenges;
      do you run to God in Jesus name or run to the devils?
      That is the ajuju n' ese okwu.
      "Be content with what you have"
      "Be perfect even as your heavenly father is perfect" (google this statements)

    8. The perfect married woman.....πŸ™„πŸ™„

    9. @Omo
      kwuee eziokwu let the Pharisees carry shame!
      Will you allow a man you are worth more than 10 times come
      near you for dating talk less of marriage no matter
      how good his character is?
      (Note that he did not know my net worth before the marriage.
      Just like he did not know my "dual citizenship". I hid those
      two like my tohtoh). πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      All of you want them ready made (and abroad) 😊
      Will you (or your DH) take public transport if you
      can afford brand new cars?
      Zaa my ajuju n' ese okwu inugo?

    10. Madam perfection. Only u married the perfect husband. Only you got married a fargin. Only you worth more than the Man u married. Yen yen yen. πŸ™„. Chief deputy Jesus of sdk. I wonder what you’re still doing in this imperfect world with us. You could have ascended to heaven since na. #yeyedeysmell πŸ™„

    11. Anon 17.58 youy comment reeks of envy. Leave ANG alone abeg

    12. But she's right nu, she's the only perfectionist here...which of cos nah lie.

    13. ANG, you are blessed! I married a man I was several times his worth and who acted like he loved God. Once I let him know my financial worth, he wouldn't rest till he had 'borrowed' it all.
      Thank God, I stopped letting him know my inflow... now I'm worth more and planning my exit.

    14. @23:54
      The financial misappropriations you mentioned isn't enough for you to
      "exit" from your marriage. There must have been other things that attracted you
      to this man. See those positivities and work on making your marriage work.
      "In all things God works for the Good of they that love him..." (google it please)
      Since you love God, he will work this out to your good.
      Good wishes.

  7. Here to learn!

  8. I wish I know,would've married a man that can take care of me without depending on my salary...When u salary is paid,you keep spending on things a man supposed to take responsible for.God help me cos I'm regretting taking this decision. If money enters his hand,the next second it's finished and not like its fr upkeep.I dont blame women that go fr rich guys

    1. In your next life, be sure to marry a man who knows his duties....not necessarily a rich man.

    2. 😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯
      Madam there is nothing to regret.
      I married a man I was worth way more than and I have peace,
      I am proud of him. What really made me attracted to him (character-wise)
      was the fact that he did not want to be part of anything "his dad" had.
      He was a man of his own mind and was content with what he had and never
      allowed anyone to despise him.

      I joined my account to his (after marriage... wish I did
      so earlier) and
      there is nothing I can't buy for myself that I need ("need" not want).
      In fact, for the marriage proper, I tell am say, just "pay the bride price
      and other things wey my papa them been demand...leave everything wey I suppose
      wear and other expenses to me..." (By then I knew his
      net worth as he had joined me to his account)
      Look madam, "a man's life does not depend on the abundance of his possessions"
      (google it). Stella always says it here, "can't you buy those things you need for
      yourself?" All these "my money, his money..." is a spoiler of what suppose to be
      sweet marriages.
      The important thing in marriage and this life is peace of mind and CONTENTMENT inugo!

    3. We don hear
      E still no means say, if I sabi ur DH
      I go wire ammm turn him side chick

    4. Damn!ANG I doff my hat for you.
      For a lady who just said what you write up there, you are the real deal not most ladies have this mentality you have.

      My best comment from you so far on this blog.

    5. @Side Chikito

      You see as you dey cheapen yourself?
      You dey squander the treasure wey oga (who suppose be)
      on top for dey carry jolly and produce godly pikins?
      I wish you will know your worth lady!
      But as for my DH, you no go fit. Im sabi say im get
      treasure for be money or smooth nyansh o 😜😜
      Character first. Yes, if you sabi Jesus well well, you go
      get good character inugo.

    6. So you joined your account with your husband to be before the wedding proper? As a good Christian that you are? Ndi christ lover...

    7. @Olive
      Wetin dey pain ya body eh?
      Let me ask you -can you proudly carry belle go show ya papa before im collect bride price
      even when you have introduced your fiance to him?
      Can you enter your "church" and say I do when ya papa has not collected bride price?
      I was married when my husband paid my bride price and yes, I bought everything I wore (plus his)
      during that ceremony.
      Whatever else ceremonies in church or court after that are mere formalities.
      Show me a scripture where marriage was conducted in Synagogue (OT) or church (NT)?
      I did not say you are wrong to wed in the Church but know that you are married when
      your bride price is paid! Search the scriptures and if you need help, let me know.

  9. Replies
    1. Strategic ("bedding") marketer?

    2. @favor
      Yes na me, na wetin una dey call me.
      I dey. Abi I no get am?
      answer my ajuju n' ese okwu

  10. I wish I never agreed to continue the relationship when we had an argument and he brought out a knife to scare me, it's not as if I was violent with him, he took it for me to stop talking, I should have walked away, all these happened in my parents house cos I accommodated him for two years when he had house issues. Today we are estranged as couple, I had to leave to save my life, I practically live like a single in the marriage with the responsibities of a married woman. I wish I was not foolish and blindfolded with love.

    1. What a pitiful tale to hear.
      The lesson?
      Do not live under same roof when you
      are not married. It gives you the opportunity to
      study each other well (fork removed from the equation).
      Most times, what people call "love" at onset is "lust/infatuation".
      pure Love (agape) does not demand/involve fornication/lust (not saying
      this was your case). But you did not complete the story.

  11. Compatibility,am suffering cold and distant,very very lu ke warm and unromantic partner now,i actually had a discussion with him but he said it's because he was very busy at that time,he's a doctor and I thought it's because of all the shifts and surgeries he was performing,we never had enough time sef,we met and hot married whithin 6 month,coupled with the fact that am not based where he is,I just regret it,i could ve waited a lil longer,and I was just 23 then,i guess I ruled to marry him because I did fibroid operation and I was advised to marry quick and my my mum was like it was an added advantage since he is a just carry my big head go marry now marriage of just 1 year and am tired.pluse I can't work now since am 7 month pregant. Pls don't let your situation push you to go and marry without proper investigations.

    1. It’s well. Focus on your pregnancy now.

    2. We are on the same table sis. Be strong

    3. I left a Doctor about 2 weeks ago, and I had never been more proud of myself. I'm happy, bp has normalized, I'm putting on all the weight I lost during the emotionally draining relationship.

      He is the most uncaring man ive ever dated, very self absorbed. I wanted to make excuses for him. He is busy, he has doctor's burn-out, etc, but I had to assess the situation for what it was. This person just didn't care!

      I told him im not his and he isnt mine.

      I'll wait for my own.

  12. I wish I knew my wife was a saddist. she has refused to talk to me since 2 weeks now. Please indeed help. I got upset she yelled at me now she has refused to talk to me after several apologies and offering to take her out. I still have her money last week. no thank you. I don't understand

    1. Sadist? Maybe not. Seem like she has an unforgiven spirit.

    2. What did you do to her that’s made her not talk to you for 2 weeks?

    3. You might have married a witch.

    4. What did you do?
      You (steal) fork?

  13. Stella we discussed everything and when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING- religion, beliefs, faith, church, dislikes and likes, pet peeves and what not, sexual preferences (it was a celibate relationship and even in marriage, sex was never an issue and we were very compatible) money (joint account, investment preferences and all) cultural differences because we were different tribes, children and raising them, business and career goals;what didn't I bring up for discussion?
    I knew marriage was hardwork on its own so I desired a man who flowed with me and had the same mindset because it will make the journey a whole lot easier and I told him so. I'm very principled, I hate ambiguity, I love things been plain make person no say "hian! I didn't know so and so is like this oh"
    After all these, what did I get? A whole lot of crap in terms of faith and belief. You see, his mom goes to a popular white garment church, he didn't want to tell me initially but later told me. I wanted to quit the relationship, I didn't want stress, I knew he was all she had as an only child (she never married his dad) and knowing my father and family and even personally I didn't want to start tangling with that faith. He swore he's not part of it, I met him as a church worker in RCCG, that his root is Anglican church and all that. I knew my father will never give me out to him in marriage with that info and he knew that.
    I met her, and she turned out to be a wonderful woman, I love her to pieces and the feeling is mutual (her staying outside the country also meant that her orientation towards what the church does here and over where she is was totally different and that helped even up till now)
    Now what am I facing? The same issue I explicitly told him I wanted no part of. Right from the 1st year, I've been battling one white garment false prophet and prophecy, it irks me, it breaks my heart, it's painful because right now we have separated and it's all due to their meddling (which he invited) and him swallowing all sorts of lies said about me. We are TCC and have gone to the best hospitals both here and in the UK and the verdict remains that he has very low sperm count almost nil.
    He has refused to believe it, he has believed that until I start going to the church and doing "work" whatever that means, no child. We have done one IVF that failed and he cancelled on me a day before the next one (after 2years of pleading from all parties his mom inclusive) and that triggered me to just take a break.
    He then told me he's going back to his roots which is now the white garment church that has caused all this shit in the 1st place.
    A marriage I gave my all, a man I loved like no other, I gave up so many things, placed so many on hold just to make sure we were comfortable before I attend to my own needs and it's just not right.
    He knew he couldn't disassociate himself from it yet he lied and pretended to because he didn't want to lose me but now the chips are down and it's all messed up.
    I'm tired and trying to pick up and know what else to do. It's been months and I've not yet recovered.
    He's trying to make a comeback, his mom has been begging and pleading with me to go back but na me wear the shoes and it was damn painful (I contemplated suicide at a point, yeah foolish of me know) but until he makes up his mind to keep to the promises he made that made me marry him, I'm staying away. Spiritual manipulation is the worst thing any person can fight. A wonderful man is who I can't even fathom now.
    So my dear, you can communicate all you want but marriage at the end will last if the 2 parties continue to honor and stick to the promises made that formed the foundation of their union. Love is a beautiful thing if you meet who is on the same level with you.

    1. It’s sad.
      I had an aunt like that who attended white garment church. Prophecies were flying left, right and center.
      My dad didn’t want to be part of it and gave her some space.
      Anytime she calls, it’s one revelation or the other.
      She died some years ago and I wonder if there was no revelation concerning her death πŸ’πŸΏ‍♂️

    2. Anonymous 14:34, dont commit suicide oooo. Not worth it my dear if not na white garment go give your husband another wife for church 🀷🏾..
      May the Almighty God bless you with the fruit of the womb.

    3. Sorry sis,God will give you respite soonest, and bless your womb by his grace. White garment mother in law ish,πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”it can be very tiring ... God will help us.

    4. Yes sister me, marriage is a very work and the two parties work it out.
      Suicide? It is foolish to think that way.
      "God hates divorce" and you know this (scripture).
      It is not enough to go to church (Redeemed) but to be truly redeemed of the Lord
      Jesus Christ. The "white garment" is a sea cult; no doubt but
      Believers in Christ have to know their 1. Scriptures 2. The power of God.
      And there is no other way except through studying it, fasting/praying... anybody
      who thinks otherwise is deceived!
      I won't tell you to rush in and out, but work on yourself as advised above and
      encourage him to work on himself too. When the resonance is achieved, you will know!

    5. Epique, she did not say she has issues with her mother in law, on the contrary her MIL seems like a good person. The guy is the issue.

    6. I pray that God fixes this and grants you the desire of your heart. It seems like his ego is the problem not white garment church. He's just using the chα»₯rch to cover his inability to accept that the infertility is his fault

    7. As someone said, the ish is with the guy not the church. There are people who attend non-white garment churches who are obsessed with prophecies. I stand to be corrected but I think many Nigerians if not Africans sef are prophecy mongers. I attended a white garment church (changed because of marriage) but interestingly quite a number of my non-white garment church/Pentecostal friends know many "hot" prophets than I do (even those in the abroad have their numbers on speed dial*). Infact, a couple of friends offered to introduce me to those prophets (only 1 of those prophets is of the white garment sect). My spouse (who is of the Pentecostal sect) and his mum are also prophecy mongers. I cannot count the number of Pentecostal pastors they patronise (yes, i used this word deliberately cuz it beats me why you go around when you have the Bible). Due to my background (which I still love despite its bad press -- no thanks to bad Christ disciples in the church), spouse finds it strange that I do not jump around like them. I have told him na wetin you dey find your eyes go see cuz the Christiandom is now polluted with false prophets and ministers. Their several pastors have cleared me before and even during marriage that I no get dirty hand and he will even come back to tell me saying that is why he married me and that he thanks God he did. All he finds me doing na pray, pray, pray for our family cuz that is what i learnt from my background instead of hopping around churches. So my dear na the person not the church. Even in the white garment church, the clergy/parish shepherd used to advise us that prayer is more important than seeking prophecy because those prophets are under attack from the devil and can unwillingly or willingly be used to deliver false messages/prophecies. Wasn't even Jesus tempted too by the devil. Hence, my saying that if you do not learn to study the Bible and pray but prefer to hop around churches or prophets na wetin your eyes dey find e go see.

  14. "Show me your certificate, bank statements for at least two years and evidence of investments". I should have asked him to go for fertility test too.

    1. You see that fertility test? Very important! A pastor in my church during a Bible study service advocated that churches should include it in the tests they ask for before marriage and not just pregnancy and blood group or is it type? So many impotent men lying about and forming viral, trapping women in marriages and no thanks to our culture, any delay in conceiving must be the woman's fault.

    2. @14:54
      Your pastor is wrong
      Good fertility tests does not mean conception. God is the giver of children

    3. 19:09 lmaoooooo
      Best believe fertility tests are very important

  15. Very importanter. Coming back to this post. Make I work small

  16. i wish i had the courage to speak not him about his past relationship and more importantly the difference in our values and the effect his absent and abusive father had on him ..also his handling of finances ..he is a spend it all with no plan for tomorrow type.... i am a saver ..i take faith serious he not so much infect maybe because i was over 30 and i felt i was getting old ...

    1. Ahhhh annon,you're giving me serious headache oπŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

    2. Tbabe u just gave me a verrry good laugh......😁😁😁😁😁as in ehhhh

  17. I wish I put some discussions in legal binding documents instead of relying on his words and affirmation. Those discussions are:
    1) Number of Children:we agreed on two if they are of both sex. Now we have two and are of both sex but hubby is singing another tune of four. Meanwhile, Pregnancy and childbirth are like suicide mission for me. its just Grace that brought me out alive but my sound health is really not the same especially my legs. I had a bad fall in my last pregnancy that caused a big strain on my pelvic bones. Though my baby is only 14 days today but am still limping a bit. Doc says time will heal it.
    P.s. I am not looking forward to another pregnancy. We will be looking for it together after I have taken necessary precautions without his consent.

    2) He agreed to me not suckling his inner man as I am easily irritated by little things. The first and last time I tried it, I was spitting around for days and I couldn't eat too. But now hubby insists on that or no sex. After the confirmation of my last pregnancy, he stopped making love to me. But am not bothered because it has always been me prodding him for it anyway.I only want to empower myself financially for any future fuckup.
    3) Hubby is seriously addicted to porn. It dates down to before he met me. Though I was vaguely aware during our Chriatian courtship as I declined premarital sex all through 2 years of dating. But he assured me that there will be no problem as I was a mermaid till marriage night.
    *First regret*After cutting through my hymen the first night of marriage, Hubby went to the toilet with his phone and wanked like he does. He is not satisfied until he does what he has been doing for years. It was a shocking and disgusting thing for me but who can I confide in.
    4)I wished I climbed my career ladder a bit before settling down to being married, housewife, managing a joint business that hubby decides how we spend the profit. No autonomy whatsoever. And whenever I say I want to go look for outside employment, he sings the tune of "am very selfish"" money is much more important to me than family "etc with other rules that I can't meet up with because of my kids.
    I'm still in the marriage an we are three years old already. Domestic violence is not involved but my emotions are trampled up several times. My phones don't even ring for lack if friends and when they do he becomes warm again. I NEED FRIENDS, GOOD ONES.
    *why i have not left* I am yet to leave because I want my kids to grow up in a happy home. I can't fight for custody now because my finances are currently tied to him.
    *Am I happy* No. Depressed most times but am raising happy and confident kids.
    *Do I feel lonely* Yes I do because I foolishly discarded my friends because he asked me to and when he stopped being my friend, my real friends had moved on without me.
    Madam Korkus, thanks for making me share this. It made me feel better.

    Note to allnsingle Ladies, Men also change after marriage. Be careful.

    1. Was there anything about you too that also changed after marriage?

    2. It's well with you and your children. Please, be strong

    3. I am the kind of person that dislike someone who doesn't stand by their words. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. I wrote everything down and it was duly signed with consequences if not followed. And we are fine. Looking back now it was so unnecessary because I have realised with time that my spouse is very transparent and honest to a fault.

      The reason why most marriages fail is because someone refused to carry out their own side of the bargain. People pretend too much just to get whoever they want. Then after marriage they reveal their true selves and that's the highest form of fraud. Pretense during courtship has wrecked a lot of marriages before it even happened. People who don't have any business being together will pretend for slefish reason or because they don't want to lose the person they are with. Then in marriage they realise they are not the right fit for each other.
      Humans don't change after marriage their true colour only emerge.

    4. Your husband's problem is well defined; the porn
      It is a destroyer!
      Having known that and married him, you have to
      bear with him and let him know that he needs help
      Fasting to mortify the lust in his flesh can help Galatians 5:16-21
      Romans 12:1-3
      Do not give up and please do not rush into another pregnancy without
      proper planing/healing.

    5. Anon 15.59. This is the truth. 100%.

  18. almost everyone is claiming i am still breastfeeding

  19. I wish I paid attention to compatibility. I was blinded by his calm nature. He doesn't understand me and vice versa. He has a degree but not enlightened. Wants me to be a house wife with masters degree? No affection at all and I'm ready to move on. Compatibility matters a lot. Thank God for my daughter and job that keep me occupied.I'm still wondering how he was able to hide his extremely low IQ from me, no wonder he hurried the marriag

    1. Exactly my experience. At the verge of divorce plus bad family orientation and extremely lazy

    2. You staying home and being a house wife is your decision to make. Not a man who you gave the privilege to be your husband.
      Like, how can another human be making life decisions for you?

      Everyone should know their various places. You don't tell someone what to do simply because they allowed you into their lives. How can a man be telling a grown woman what to do with her life. If he wanted a house wife, he would have married someone who never walked past the wall of a university.

  20. I wish I had married someone that grew up with a similar background to mine. Hubby and his whole family grew up poor and have some sort of inferiority complex so they find fault in everything and always try to talk big in public.
    I wish I had paid better concern to my husbands father and his behavior. He was a very randy man who did not make any money. Now I find hubby has turned out exactly like him. Not saving a dime and Even having a child outside like his father. Ladies pls pay attention. Most men turn out exactly like their fathers.
    I wish I had realized that talking ambitiously does not equal being ambitious. U can be lazy and still talk like u have ambition

  21. I wish I had married someone that grew up with a similar background to mine. Hubby and his whole family grew up poor and have some sort of inferiority complex so they find fault in everything and always try to talk big in public.
    I wish I had paid better concern to my husbands father and his behavior. He was a very randy man who did not make any money. Now I find hubby has turned out exactly like him. Not saving a dime and Even having a child outside like his father. Ladies pls pay attention. Most men turn out exactly like their fathers.
    I wish I had realized that talking ambitiously does not equal being ambitious. U can be lazy and still talk like u have ambition

  22. Before marrying my husband I was madly in love with someone else( who ended up leaving the country, we agreed that we will still get married and I would join him) ..but my mum kept begging for it to be my current hubby that I married . I refused cried and cried , she continued o . I took it to prayer, ...every finger pointed to my hubby ....I focused on my dreams and prayer still my current hubby kept showing up. And at this point I was madly in love with the other guy and would rather die than marry my hubby but becus he was not in the country, I became weak fighting alone because my hubby never have up, the more I refused the more he pushed , Finally I agreed.

    Its been almost two years of marriage and I love him just as a wife should love her husband, ....and I look back and i am grateful that I married him and didn't allow infatuation lead me . every feeling I have for the other guy just vanished . .... We are not wealthy yet, but we are fine.. I'm in my mid 20s and he 31.... Got me my first car last year .... Expecting our first bundle of joy in a few months.

    He's a good man, would place nothing above his family, ..... I don't work yet I lack nothing . he knows he married a fine woman so whenever he comes across some clothing item he feels will suit me, he will buy and over buy it sef. Doesn't like anything that would stress me and prays more than me. Very spiritual.

    He's not perfect but I will pick him again and again ....

    1. Awwww! Love your story.
      Though not sure it fits here based on the topic. Maybe Stella should create a counter thread about marrying someone we expected the worst from but it turned out well at the end of the day because we got a beautiful marriage out of it.

      God bless your home and continue to strengthen your love and bond. congratulation on your bundle of joy😘

    2. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ Beautiful story!

    3. Very beautiful story I smiled reading this and I like how appreciative you are and congrats on your bundle of joy and our sdk baby πŸ’‹πŸ’‹❤❤❤❤❤πŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’ž

    4. This what hapoens when we seek God in every aspect of our life.

    5. Sweet love story.I find out most times marriages that work are the ones that the husbands are much more in love than the wives.Its easier to grow to love a man with sense .

  23. I wish I knew that getting married to a last born and I the also lastborn I have alot of work I won't have
    I wish I knew a man can never change after marriage
    I wish I knew another woman will date my husband I would have fuck married men too
    I would have club
    I wish I knew I have to endured all the pain because I don't have money or because I lost my only brother I would have hustle all the money before I got married or I would have prefer to die on my bro behalf ...
    I wish I knew the prayer and church I was running from when I was single i would become a prayer warrior now I would have seek God all my life
    Thank God for his grace my marriage is healing and I believe all will Be well Amen

    1. May the Lord restore peace and love to your home .
      Its going to be okay as long as you both are working together to make it work ❤

  24. Told my cousin about couple HIV counselling and all other important test for marriage. Babe laughed it off😁😁😁

  25. I wish I knew that getting married to a last born and I the also lastborn I have alot of work I won't have
    I wish I knew a man can never change after marriage
    I wish I knew another woman will date my husband I would have fuck married men too
    I would have club
    I wish I knew I have to endured all the pain because I don't have money or because I lost my only brother I would have hustle all the money before I got married or I would have prefer to die on my bro behalf ...
    I wish I knew the prayer and church I was running from when I was single i would become a prayer warrior now I would have seek God all my life
    Thank God for his grace my marriage is healing and I believe all will Be well Amen

  26. With this Biodun Fatoyinbo's saga, I had to ask my intended if he's been involved in rape, or forced sex. It's not that I don't trust him but the story messed me up. I don't want my future kids and I to suffer from what we know nothing about. I will let him calm down and ask if he has made any girl abort for him. Honesty is the only way.

  27. Wao! House wife with masters degree?? Wao! That's a no no! God punish low IQ! Kai shegeya!

    1. I am a masters degree holder and also a housewife by choice. Learn to respect the decisions of others. Gaskiya

    2. Read with common sense attached.
      Thank God you used the word 'choice'.
      Now go back and read the ladies comment and let the word 'C.H.O.I.C.E' ring throughout your brain like a brand new church bell as you do. Gaskiya.

  28. I wish I paid more attention to all...... Am already sad knowing dat my marriage is not as blissful as I expected it to be.. He is suffering from erectile dysfunction but has not said a word about it. Doesn't like more dan three secs, n he is off. God pls fix this asap else I walk away

  29. Let the comments flow. I'm still single so nothing to write.

  30. I wished I knew my husband and his mother r conjoined twins I would HV known better,or better still leave them both to get married,he tell his mother everything,I mean every thing,we don't HV secret like husband n wife,he runs to her at every slight misunderstanding we have,he even prays to God to keep his mother for 200 years,its tearing me apart,whatever she says is final,I want to walk away but if I look at my adorable kids,I can't let another woman train them,because me am a housewife,I can't to them away to start suffering,hmmmmmnnn,

    1. I don't know why women caoplain about this a lit. Like y'all don't do same. My wife tells her mum everything like EVERYTHINGGGG. no secret. She calls her almost 10 times every single day. Even her sisters knows about us. Same with my friend's wife but you think we men don't know.
      85% of women do this but when the men does the same he is ruining the marriage ba?

    2. Try and get something to do, no matter how little.
      I wonder how some of you can stay without doing something?
      That’s why some men treat their wives badly cos they know these women won’t survive without them.

    3. Anọn 16:53
      I admit that we women tell our mum's 'everything' but the difference between wonen and men is
      1. Women know where to draw the line. We usually don't tell our family the ones that will make them look at our husband somehow. We like to cover our husbands. Can't say the same for men.
      2. Regardless of what is discussed, our loyalty lies with our husband... Most times. Men on the other hand will go and discuss with their mum and come back home to be implementing their mother's policy in their house

  31. Please married men and women come and comment.
    I know a lot of you are gnashing your teeth and wailing in private buahahahahaaahahahahah, then come out to insult single people in public.
    Biko come and comment inugo?

    1. Posts like this that's supposed to help others are the ones with fewer comments.

  32. The truth is you can talk all you want, discuss every every but once in the marriage, people can change. It takes God and also the willingness of both parties involved to stay committed to the discussions and promises they made before marriage. Some people can agree to anything so they don’t lose their intended partner.

    When you meet a manipulative man or woman, they can agree to anything or be anything you want them to be in order to achieve their aim which is to get married and after getting married they let their true behavior show.

    I know a family that lived in the same estate when we were growing up, it was said that the man was specifically told by his mum to come to the village to pick a woman for marriage and leave township girls that they are spoilt and not wife material. Lol... He went to the village and married his wife and before the marriage, the woman will go to the man’s house in the village and be cleaning and forming hardworking and wife material but after he married her and brought her to Lagos. She started showing her real character, started being stubborn, bullying the man and above all, sleeping around.

    1. Very true, Rosie. Humans are so deep and some are more manipulative than the devil

  33. I don't wantu believe it's only females that are bittered when it comes to failed promises and behaviors in marriage.. Where are the males.. I'm diving into the search soon and sincerely marriage has been one of my Phobia cos it's a life sentence.. I don't wantu have problem in it and I want a good family.. I pray i find strength in whoever I settle with and I promise to give her everything.

    1. Amen. Please put God first in your search, that's my honest advice for you. Hear Him clearly before proceeding. All the best.

    2. marry me and I'd complete you.

  34. She loved him so much, spent her savings on him, he didn’t have much when they got married, he claimed women rejected him because of some bla bla bla but she didn’t know he was on the down low (gay), even when they talked about it generally he would be the first person to condemn all gay people so much, ok naaa fast forward to marriage she catch him having a gay orgy and realized he deceived her, took her virginity, abused her so much ..She moved out, no the word should be she ran out make person no kill anybody! and gave him space to decide if he wanted her and their children or his lifestyle. He got worse. He wasn’t supporting the kids and her financially, she suffered to put food on the table for the kids, at a point she was homeless while he was living larger than life traveling the world, wearing designers, taking studio pictures like a teenager. She didn’t want to bother him at all but she was getting depressed, doing all sorts of menial jobs and going to school. He would not pick her calls or even ask about the kids for months so no option she reached out to govt to help her kids, then bam! Child support was instituted against him, he was so angry and he filed a legal process in the wrong court which was dismissed by the judge, ahhh her eyes opened she said osheee ooo ok let’s do this, she filed divorce against him in the proper court! Long story short her divorce is the best thing that has happened to her! And now he is paying the equivalent of 900,000 (nine hundred thousand naira) per month to her for child support and child support was also backdated against him but she agreed to waive that because he was almost crying and he would have paid even more than that 900,000naira per month. Morale of the story karma is a bitch, don’t try to hurt someone that has done you no wrong. Does she miss him maybe but when she thinks of the hell she went through with him, the wickedness he did to her, she has forgiven him and then she look at where she is now, she is very ok with her decision. Life is Good! Babe is doing well now!

    1. Thanks for this,hopefully I will heal some day....divorce finalized yesterday without my consent.let The great Judge JUDGE

    2. Anon 17:43 I am sorry for your pain. You will be fine ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  35. Married people come and comment please,
    I want to learn more

  36. Have you impregnated anyone before ?
    Did anyone claim you got her pregnant?
    How did your father treat your mother?
    Any traditions, rituals, rites or ceremonies for married women in your town

  37. The man I'm with hasn't paid my bride price, I have a child for him. We had our wedding but my tradition says he can't pay my bride price because I was pregnant then. Since we got married like that. It has been I and my family that has been helping us. My hubby was supposed to be doing taxi driver for this uber people yet he is so lazy and complaints that he has stopped going for a while. His parents has never given me 5 naira since I birthed this child. They are possessive and annoying. My hubby is addicted to nairabets. He spends too much and doesn't save. he says he has faith money is coming but the money he is expecting is from nairabets once he fails.he gets moody and annoying like God has failed him. I have told him countless times to go and work and stop this faith because that's not faith to me. He says he is not doing anything again he wants to stay at home and pursue his dreams. He's an amazing man but all these complain is the problem. we need money for bills needs to be paid. I'm tired and confused. I can't wait to start a good job or business 0r leave this country so I can break up with him. Please I need advice. He's frustrated with the way things are. So I try to understand but I'm tired

    1. There is nothing "amazing" about a lazy man who gambles, has no work ethic, misplaced priorities, frustrated but stupid enough not to still choose to do the RIGHT thing

      Aunty no bride price = no marriage

      Stay at home and pursue his dreams?

      Listen to what you said again and go and PRAY!
      You need GOD to deliver you and teach you what to do!

  38. I discussed everything with him and he seemed ok for me. Afer marriage he changed, we said we should be splitting bills but i was carrying most of the responsibilities. He was always playing lotto with any money he gets. He became lazy afer marriage and dirty too. I was working and earning well but had to leave my because of a difficult pregnancy. After having my first child, i learnt sewing, saved money for a sewing machine but this man sold the machine behind my back and claimed he used the money to settle his mum hospital bills. His family are supporting him. I am now empty and broken, depressed. Nothing to call my own except children. I am regretting my marriage right now but i can not leave. Where will i get money to move on with two children? The little job i am doing, started two months ago, they are owing salaries. I am now a shadow of my self due to marriage.

  39. Guys,if you're lucky enough to find a good woman that's witty,homely,respectful,content and above all Godfearing.Pls marry her.Forget beauty and dressing,that can't build a good home.Be wise.

    1. I am everything you typed but yet still single. What do men really want.

  40. I wish I knew to pray a lot before marriage, I wish I knew to get a business or job doing before marriage, I wish I didn't enter talk to God more about what you want to see in marriage before you enter!!

  41. As someone said , you can ask am the questions and yet story would change .

    That you are having a splendid marriage and boasting about it doesn't mean you were the smartest or most intelligent. Call it Grace , call it luck. But don't go patting yourself on the back for a.job well done. At least not yet .

    A lady mentioned tolerance and I quote agree with her . When love fades, tolerance , understanding should remain fixed .

    I wish God just gave us a flash drive with info on what we should etc and whom we should marry rather us getting this disappointed by our other spouse .

    1. *I wish God just gave us a flash drive with info on what we should etc and whom we should marry rather us getting this disappointed by our other spouse**

      He actually does. God speaks. The question is are people listening or even asking Him in the first place?

    2. I think a personal study on the Bible's opinion on marriage is core

      Let Holy Spirit talk

  42. Well I never loved my hubby but he was so in love with mom persuaded me to go ahead.
    He had just two characters I dont like and we did not really discuss it but now he is working on them likewise me.
    Our finances are together ...
    I feel no matter what u discuss is about getting married to the right person.
    And again a man who loves u more.
    I wait for him to return from work before I eat....
    We have our high and lows but I thank God....
    He is a nice man;hardworking;we come tops on his list.
    Last year he gave me a surprise birthday.
    We argue.
    He pushes me to attain height.
    One thing I will never forget.
    When I went to scan for my third kid..
    It was a girl .
    I cried and called him it was a girl;.he shouted at me if a girl was not a kid.
    He was so angry and told me all kid was his;male or female...
    Infact I will say i am blessed.
    He always says his dreams for me and how he wants me to attain this and that..
    advice just make sure God is in ur decision making.

  43. We discussed a lot of things during our 4years of courtship. However, I wish I knew what could be considered a good thing can also lead to failure or downfall.

    When I met my hubby, he was 5 yrs into his career working for an oil and gas company. I was leaving Nigeria for Canada and there was no stopping because I had my citizenship. He told me he wasn't gonna leave his career and I wasn't ready to stay in Nigeria but we got married anyway.

    We managed to make it work but now I am paying the price. I had to leave my career as an Engineer to tend to the kids. Hubby is a GM in an oil company at the peak of his career while mine had to end because of the kids we both decided to have.

    Retirement plans do not involve him sacrificing his goals and is more like I told you I do not want to live abroad.
    I wish I thought it through very well because I have lost so much career wise and it makes me unhappy.

    1. Let them grow
      Then prayerfully redesign your personal fulfilment plans

      You will be fine
      Get excited
      The wind is blowing in your favour again!

  44. Me I wish I didn't even marry at all....cos my husband is a champion liar,has a pathetic family and am seriously considering a divorce,am just pitying my son


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