STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED ASAP
Hi Stella,
Okay so I don't know if this qualifies as a chronicle but I hope you post this as I need advice and I hope the person I am referring to reads this.
I'm a married woman in Abuja and I have this friend who is also married, we are both in our late twenties and have a child each. We both got married in 2017.
My friend always visits me since I'm currently not working and she works in Government so she has spare time on her hands.
I noticed that unlike before when she visits and stays for a long time, she would just come, make sure her husband speaks with me and leave saying she has to go to work. Unfortunately for her on her last visit, her husband called me by 9pm to ask if she has left my house cos her number wasn't going and she wasn't home.
She left my house by 12pm and so I had to lie and cover up for her, I felt very bad cos I also had to lie to my husband who happens to be friends with her husband.
I called her later on and asked her, then she told me she went to see a friend, when she saw that I wasn't having any of it, she later opened up and told me she is dating a House of Assembly member, and also her husband's business isn't doing so well, and she is the one paying the bills.
Stella, I'm shocked and unhappy she has brought me into this, cos now I'm the person she uses to lie, she is my closest friend, we are both new in Abuja and I'm the only one her hubby knows and likes, hence lying with my name.
Please what do I do about this?
Tell my husband I lied?
Isn't it bad enough she is a close friend and doing this?
I hope she reads this cos I am very uncomfortable with this.
Please I will read advise from BVs
WOW,see gist!!!
Please whatever you do,DO NOT tell her hubby that you lied because you also lied to your hubby......
Just tell her to stop using you and look for another person to use and tell her to stop coming to your house if she is on her way to see her lover....An if she visits,stop letting her push you to talk with her hubby....
Hmmmm...please tell her to stop using you as an alibi, simple.
ReplyDeleteFollow Stella's advice. But help her save her marriage ooo.. Choi!
ReplyDeleteNow I know why they call you Pharisee..
DeleteAunty use her to get gov job, when she's caught tell them you dint know, finish.
DeleteNa wa o
ReplyDeleteI'll advice you tell her to stop that act first
Secondly tell her to stop using your name to lie andbto stop visiting you if she wouldn't stop cos sooner or later the truth will come out and you may not be able to prove your innocence then.your husband and his friend may not trust you anymore.
Depending on how close you are to your husband and how mature he is, I'll advice to tell your husband.
Wrong advice, please dont tell your husband. Men think one wayoooooo. Next thing you will hear is birds of a feather flick together. Just cut your froend off stylishly and stop speaking to her hubby when she comes over.
DeleteJust advise her to stop seeing the guy and also educate her on the consequences of her action but this one she is the one paying the bills I really don't know what to say.
ReplyDeleteYou think she will listen?
DeleteShe don enter deep.
A man that can't pay bills what's his business where his wife goes and who she sees?
DeleteSk full time house wives shoes husband's foot bills if they go monitoring where and who their husbands are meeting with.
Cut that friendship if you dont want to lose your marriage, respect and your home.
DeleteShe has started, she wont stop. Run away from her
#hadeyhalaba
See women na....
ReplyDeleteSo her husband's business downtime is now an excuse for breaking marital vows?
DeleteWhat happened to getting a side business what happened to anchoring on faith of a better tomorrow , and to think that she's a young lady, what a shame , I hope she'd keep this same energy if her husband found another woman willing to help boast his business financially with a little sexual favor in return.
Your red pen is in order Stella. Poster I only blame you for the first lie you told. You will always need one lie to cover the other. Don't start whatever you can't finish.
ReplyDeleteI will advice, call your friend to order and emphatically sound it to her that you won't lie on her behalf again and will say things as they are when she uses you for an excuse next time. For now let the first one go but don't enable her again for a second time. If you don't put to an end now, one day you will be held responsible for whatever happen to her tomorrow that may eventually affect your own home.
Women learn how to keep you dirtest secret to yourself not every can handle it. See now
Delete*one
DeleteFind a way to tell your own husband that you lied, oh! Before she traps you in what you don't know and she may even tell her husband that you're the one sleeping with the House of whatever member. Her husband already knows that something is up. Only a man who suspects his wife doesn't accept her word that she's going somewhere but always needs confirmation from a person in the place she says she's going to.
ReplyDeleteStay away from her. Stop opening yourself up to danger by using the exchange that she's the only one you know in Abuja. You're not sharing umbilical cord with her. And if such a person is who you think you have, you don't actually have anyone.
*using the excuse
DeleteTell fire, poster don't do this.
DeleteExactly! She may trap poster in her web of lies. Maybe even lie against poster to cover up her own self. Poster you better tell your husband what's going on before you dig yourself in deeper, your husband doesn't have to tell your friend's husband what's happening, just protect your own self and home
DeleteExactly, that friend will soon trap thus poster into what she doesn't know. Tell your husband but beg him to keep it to himself. Don't break your own marriage. Once your husband stops trusting you, hmmmmmm
DeleteNa wa
ReplyDeleteWill be back
ANG and Pinklady, get in here
Pinky is 👎👎down somewhere in the comments.
DeletePinky is 👎👎down somewhere in the comments.
DeleteIf u keep supporting her. Ur husband will b next in her bed. Useless married women everywhere bashing baby mamas yet una own Na him worst o. Dirty pigs. 😡
ReplyDeleteLol, what made you this bitter? I guess one of them won you in man battle🤔.
DeleteTake it easy abeg. Bitterness will keep the men further away 😁
Take this 🍭🍬🍭🍬
Delete15:16 you really need it
She lost out in tha man battle and became bitter at wives bah?! Lol😂
Delete15.16 don't mind them o 😂
DeleteWhy must you make everything about baby mama's? Is there a war between the two? Not all cases are the same abeg, and for your information not all married people are unhappy and cheats, some have great marriages the same way some single girls chose to have babies of their own, let people be abeg.
DeleteI think you should let her know you will not be her cover up again. And pls tell your husband. Not for him to tell his friend but since can know what is going on. In case alarm blow later make you see where to put face^in your house. Before you become guilty by association
ReplyDeleteU think men can be understanding when it comes to infidelity? Poster just let it die a natural death..don't tell both men, just disassociate yourself.
DeletePlease don't tell your husband because he will tell his friend, and your friend's marriage will be over.
DeleteThis is the reason women should never marry broke/lazy men. Smh
Her husband.would tell his friend!!!!
DeleteBB how will it then look if this thing blows open and it is found out that she was the cover up option
DeleteHmm...
ReplyDeleteYou need to sever all ties with her, and make sure your husband knows about the abrupt end of the relationship, you might not mention the cheating part.
Ask GOD for forgiveness
DeleteMove on& away from her
I agree with Stella. 💯
ReplyDeleteDo not tell either your hubby or her hubby because it could backfire.
ReplyDeleteShe has opened up to you,keep her secret safe but warn her to stop using you as her alibi.
Distance yourself from her because if she sinks,she will expose you as her accomplice and your husband will never trust you again.
For now,start keeping malice with her and avoid her like a plague.
Poster follow this o
DeleteKeep malice with her say n.a. you go pay her bride price? What's your own? Please ignore that part of her weakness and be yourself.
DeleteWhich man keeps malice with a friend bros he has a side piece?
I try my best not to shift the goal post just because it's a woman who did wrong.
Poster better follow this @Pinklady's advise ooo. This the absolute truth.
DeleteKindly ask her to stop visiting, tell your husband the truth and make sure she really doesn't visit expect when necessary.
ReplyDeleteshe'll find a way, after all they all do have a plan B. let her use it.
I'll be observing comments though
Abuja has taken over from Port Harcourt. It is well with our women. Using excused to go and knack. Na today country bad.
ReplyDeleteMay God forgives our married women who can't close their tohtoh.
GGive her stern warnings if not your husband will begin to suspect you
Runs geh wey marry na leave e take?
DeleteSome of these proverbs are true sometimes
Please don’t mention anything to her husband.
ReplyDeleteMake her understand you won’t cover up for her anymore.
You should protect yourself and marriage, if your husband finds out, he’ll accuse you of being promiscuous.
Distant yourself from her.
*distance.
DeleteSee the association of useless women in Abuja.
ReplyDeletePlease does anyone know of a scientific study that correlates wealth and marital fidelity case-studying Abuja, bcos this Abuja don make me dey fear heterosexual monogamous romantic partnerships. I don't think I can date or marry again o
ReplyDeleteMarriage that is not even up to 2 years.. what a wawu!
ReplyDeleteWhy isn't anyone talking about the fact that she pays all bills at home?
DeleteHowever her hubby thinks the bills are paid?
Dear lazy men, this is your bane except your man up and provide for your family.
Its saddening
DeleteAll these young ladies prepare for wedding not marriage.
It just seems like fidelity is almost out of fashion .
@16:46
DeleteSo that is your idea about "paying bills"?
Ka m juo gi?
So your present bill, na tohtoh you dey carry pay am
at the expense of your life and eternal life okwa ya?
Zuzugbuo onwe gi.
😯😯😯😯😯
So paying bills is the reason why she should be sharing herself upandan? She should kuku become a sex worker let us know that that's her source of income. If your own husband uses bills as an excuse for sleeping around, would you remain in that marriage? Is she not a human being like her husband? The reason why there are two people in a marriage is so that when one falls, the other will lift them up, the man must not always be the one carrying everything, as long as he's trying his best to get back up. If she knows she can't cope then she should become single again and marry the HOR member
DeleteSo your present bill, na tohtoh you dey carry pay am 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteAnnon16:46 she has a job in the ministry so she can use that as a cover up that's why the husband won't suspect a thing.
DeleteSince taking care of the bills is the reason for her infidelity, why is she not proud of her hustle? Why is she hiding? Shouldn't she be proud to let her husband know what she is up to?
DeleteMadam poster you don't have a job and your friend has connected to a house of assembly oga and you are here dulling...You better use her connect to get a job first, afterall since you are already roped in then you might as well enjoy the loot.
ReplyDeleteAlso DO NOT tell her husband or yours anything,the best thing you can do for her is to advise her to be careful as she will not leave the relationship because of her needs.
Poster use this connect wisely.
LEP😛
Poster what ever you do pls don't take this advice. This advice is a clear case of trouble dey sleep inyanga go wake am. Nothing good will come from an adulterous politician, you will be roped in too.
DeleteTohtoh chopper nwa Ekwensu
DeleteAll ya true colors dey commot small small okwa ya?
That's how you got the job you are currently doing eh?
😯😯😯😯
Ka Chukwu have mercy on your soul 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Better don’t do this.
DeletePls tell your husband if you are really close. The truth must surely come out one day
ReplyDeleteTaaaaaa....tell who...abegi
DeleteYour husband won’t trust you again o. Don’t try it.
DeleteSee her, no one can advise a grown married woman to stop fornicating, except she herself is ready to stop it on her own volition. The worst part of runs is, once you start, to stop ehn go hard gan ni.
ReplyDeleteDon't tell her husband anything, let him find out himself, cos you telling him might also bring problems to your own marriage too in a way, and tell your friend to still coming to your house or using you as an alibi to nonsense.
Please guys where can I get moringa seeds to buy????
Since she's a BV she'll see all the advice and I believe she'll retrace her steps. I hope she won't be angry with u for bringing this here oo..
ReplyDeleteDON'T TELL HER HUBBY OO AND DON'T TELL YOUR HUBBY TOO. JUST ADVISE HER TO STOP COMMITTING ADULTERY
You will live long.
Delete@Beevee
DeleteAnd you will feed her family?
Haba anon 16.47 the woman in question is working so they should manage na. So we should be sleeping around just because of food!?
DeleteYou can already tell the decision 16.47 will make if she finds herself with small issue pere.
Deleteif she is ever caught, she will rope you into it and your husband will think you behave in the same way. so, flee from being her alibi now, while you can.
ReplyDeleteTell your husband now
ReplyDeleteYou think men forgive easily, he will store up the confession to use against her any day they have misunderstanding...poster ignore the above advice abeg.
DeleteLEP😛
Poster I think your chronicle has ulterior motive. You gave enough that her husband can guess who
ReplyDeleteHehehehe... a woman like that can kill. I pity you. You better find a coded way to cut her off. And if I may add, be very prayerful.
ReplyDeletePoster, don't mind all these people saying u should tell your husband, if u do, your husband will surely tell her own n problem go bust, you will be seen as a snitch... Let her cast herself, u have no reason to fear...just cut her off n be a one woman mopol.
ReplyDeleteSweetheart, call your friend and have a tete-a-tete with her. Let her know exactly how you feel and let her know you aren't going to be used by her as a decoy or ruse. Make sure you are polite but firm.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should tell your hubby yet because that might just be opening Pandora's box. Your marriage is still at its infancy. Your hubby may start wondering what else you have been lying about or if you have a side dude as well. However, if she keeps seeing the guy at the side and still uses you as her alibi, you may have to tell your hubby. Don't tell him you lied, just say you've been covering up for her because you thought you were being a good friend and you were hoping she will stop. Once you let your hubby know, you have to completely cut her off.
Darling, I don't know how long you've been friends with the lady in question but remember that your family comes first and you must guard your home even if it means at the expense of your friendship with her.
I would advise that you check that friendship especially if you are the type who is easily influenced. A lot of people who went down the wrong path, did so because they were influenced by a friend or group of friends. She may end up being radioactive because hanging out with her may give the wrong impression about you. If she's all about that life, you may have to withdraw gradually because if or when stuff hits the fan when things go south, she will inadvertently drag you down with her. Her hubby may even finger you as the one who "spoilt" his wife. Some men will say anything just to save face.
The whole dynamics is too close for comfort. Her hubby is friends with yours and she is your friend. Sweetie, I hope she reads this and amends her ways or she listens to you because it can never end well. She got married in 2017 and has a child and is already having an affair because her hubby is having financial issues? Wow!
I wish you the very best life has to offer. May you enjoy the blessings of a happy marriage. Marriage has its unique challenges but with prayer, patience and mutual love and respect for each other, you guys can weather the storms.
e-hugs and kisses.
All this people that call strangers "Darling"....ndi ire ncha...odiegwu😂
Delete@19:49, don't mind them, calling stranger darling, typing epistle all in the name of advice, fear them because na dem do pass.
DeleteHmm, may God guide you to take the right steps. However, I once saw a short video of a woman who was helping her sister cover up things like this, and ended up landing her husband in jail for a crime he knew nothing about. It was a drama sketch but I have not forgotten it. I wish I had it to share with you, (it's a stuff for Christians though.)
ReplyDeletePlease a lie always need more lies to keep it safe. Warn your friend clearly that you won't cover for her again and she should stop using you. I don't know your husband's type of person but if he trusts you, I think you should let him know the truth before things backfire on you. I am not judging anyone but if a married woman with a government job need to do runs to keep the family because the husband has issues, it is because of a certain lifestyle.... I don't intend to preach but the love of money is indeed the root of all evil. And to think that some of these politicians have loads of diseases that they distribute to all these ladies and women. ... We are living in a society that is highly degraded and to think that some of these women have children. What legacy are they leaving behind for their offspring. Come Lord Jesus.
Tell your husband now ,don't delay the lo her you wait to tell him the more guilty you will be. It's obvious ur friend doesn't value her marriage, if you value yours don't let another woman's secret become your secret. Come out clean and tell your husband. He will most likely tell you to avoid the woman but that's in your best interest. She is not the only woman in Abuja, there are many good women with moral values that you can befriend.No friend us indispensable, if she loves you as a friend she won't rope you into her mess. Be wise, think of your home, your child and your reputation.
ReplyDeleteQuench this fire now before it razes down your home.
Tell your husband because if later the secret leaks, your hubby might think u r also in to the business since she's ur bestie
ReplyDeleteIf this is true,what if the friend’s husband or her husband or someone that can string this together stumbles on this blog and knows the parties involved.
ReplyDeleteLike my father once said to me;being unfaithful in marriage is an invitation to death.
Don’t be a partaker in other people’s deadly actions in the name of friendship.
This life is very simple. Send her a TEXT telling her not to come to your house again. You need proof that you tried to distance yourself when things go south, as they are bound to. Then start being prayerful and tell your husband that for some reason your spirit does not accept her in your house and leave it at that. Don't rat her out but don't condone adultery either.
ReplyDeleteDo not tell her husband. Do not tell her husband. Do not tell her husband.
ReplyDeleteUmu Naija Pharisee girls 😯😯😯😯
ReplyDeleteNa so them dey roll (with Satan o)
Ndi Chukwu ga akpo oku if them no repent.
Madam poster, if you no stay away and open up
now, when fowl nyansh open, your husband go think
say you follow join in this shameful act.
He will begin DNA tests on the pikins them and
you may lose your home.
Stay away from this type of destructive "friend"
📣📣📣📣📣
Her husband must have figured out she is cheating and no longer trusts her, hence the reason why she makes sure you speak with the husband when she visits you to convince him. Secondly, the husband will soon find out on his own that she is using you to lie and you cover up for her.
ReplyDeleteI can't have someone else's sin on my conscience, my own guilt for my sin is enough. How do you sleep at night since she started using you? It is time to call a spade a spade before she drags your marriage into her mess which will explode anytime. There is nothing like peace of mind when you don't carry someone else's baggage...i can't deal
I hope she doesn't land you into trouble one day
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, Tell your friend to watch the nigerian movie Glimpse. It will help her. Secondly, do not tell your husband and her husband. She needs help!!!.dont Condone such. Kisses��
ReplyDeleteI love that movie,
DeleteIt's a really nice movie .
Have a talk with her about using her you as her alibi, save the receipts.
ReplyDeleteDon't go confessing to anybody. The truth is, you didn't know where she was at the time so it's not like you connived with her.
At the rate she is going she is going to get caught soonest.
Let the honorable give her contracts or business that can keep her out late if she must continue.
I'm not going to say she should stop cos that's not gonna happen. I'm sure she doesn't even see it as cheating, which kyn cheating when all Oga does is cross legs and sit at home looking for who to monitor. Try not to get caught pants down as a married woman cos it would affect your kids negatively, instead respect your self and leave the marriage.
Country hard oo
Poster, pls dissociate yourself from her and let her know you can't continue the friendship because you don't share the same values but DO NOT tell your husband might decide to tell his friend thereby breaking their marriage. Some women are so mean and vindictive and could go to any extent to settle scores. I once heard of a friend dating her friend's brother in the university. Both of them were runs girls. The lady thought her brother just wanted to chop and run and was pissed when she realized her brother actually wanted to marry the girl. Few days to the introduction, the lady decided to tell her brother of their escapades and of course everything scattered. Several years later, the lady had gotten married, settled in Ibadan and was doing well but the friend was unmarried,under employed and generally not doing well. She later got information about the lady's abode, husband's office etc and relocated to Ibadan, hunted the man down; to cut the story short, whether charm o, no one knows but she became pregnant for the man. When the new wife/ snatcher was unveiled, the lady realized it was a friend she hadn't seen in over 10 years. The man refused to leave the friend, the friend said the lady was the one who made her spouseless, the lady said she would rather die than share a husband with her traitor friend so that was how the marriage scattered. Not the same scenario definitely but in saving our heads, we should be careful not to ruin people's lives. Just give her space and she will meet her Waterloo sooner than later but do not engineer it please. Sorry for the typos
ReplyDeletePoster, have you ever thought of what this can lead to in your marriage if your husband gets to find out? He will no longer trust you and as you know, it is said that birds of a feather fly together. Kindly and quietly detach yourself from that friend before she destroys your family.
ReplyDeletePoster our better distance yourself from her, I used to havea colleague that was using my name to lie to her mum and travel with her bf. I kept on covering for her without any benefit. The benefits are not even my problem, one day this girl traveled with her bf and lied to her family that she was send on an official duty outside the state with myself. I was never in the picture, on her way coming back she and her bf had an accident and she was in danger, her mum saw me on the street saying where is my daughter, she told me you both traveled together, now she is in the hospital on comma if anything happens to my daughter you will hear from me. I was shocked as she didn't even informed me about her trip. Her mum reported the case to my office and said I was the one spoiling her daughter cos I was the one covering her up before. I prayed, fasted and at the end the babe become one, I shared goodness n fellowship with her till date I don't have anything to do with her.
ReplyDeletePoster stay clear from her, end up that friendship before you loose your husband, family, respect and integrity. If she want to cheat let her go ahead but you stay off. Do not tell her husband or yours is not your business, let her husband find out himself.
I grew up seeing this and it happens more often than ppl think. Women will actually go to their friends house and before you know it their lover is also over and they may take a room in the house to have their personal time. Then they leave separately, but because the friend is there and maybe even little children around nobody can ever pin down that anything bad was going on. I was never a chatty child so I was privy to a lot more than I probably should have been😇
ReplyDeleteDo not allow anyone to make you an accomplice in sin if you are doing your best to live an honourable life. You just need to let her know that you value the friendship and love her, but you cannot be party to her affair. You should also encourage her to stop because eventually it will come out. And in that part of the world being labeled a cheating wife is an extremely negative thing. Not to mention she may be exposing herself to disease or an unwanted pregnancy. Sometimes good advice without judgment coming from a place of love is all we need to get back on the right track. All of us can use a good talking to at some point in our lives, so don't be afraid to really talk to her and encourage her to look at more fruitful avenues like a small side business as a means of raising funds to help the family finances. I fear she was pushed into this affair because of money worries.
I agree with Stella on this. Do not tell your husband or her hubby about it. Just tell her you can't keep covering up for her and she should stop using your name to lie if she wants the friendship to continue. Lobatan
ReplyDeleteFor me I will tell my hubby I lied.u know whom u are married to.
ReplyDeleteI will cut her off completely
I hope your covering up for her doesn't backfire.
ReplyDeleteSo this woman doesn't know how to use church fellowship to lie or what?
ReplyDeleteBut she's pimping herself to finance a grown man? What kind of stupidity is this?
And are you sure she's not lying because House of Assembly is state level only.
Ordinarily I would say confess to your husband but really don't he will use it against you later. Instead start distancing yourself from her because she no be betta pesin. How will you use someone to lie and not tell them?