Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratve......

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Thursday, July 18, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratve......

Ah ah.....................










STAND ALONE NARATIVE
HUBBYS BFF



I am praying for wisdom to handle this issue and I am hoping to get constructive advice.


We have been married for 5 years now and the only friend my hubby had before we got married is still the only friend he has now besides work colleagues and church acquaintances. 



Let's call this guy Zee.


Zee is taking serious advantage of my DH but he doesn't ever see it that way, he know everything about us, our plans, investments you name it, DH trusts him so much it makes me wonder if the guy is jazzing him.


I am tired of Zee because he is milking DH and making him loose cash, he borrows money and never returns it, his family burden is almost completely on us, anything or business they plan to do together fails and of course it's DH that sponsors the running around and all expenses incurred in the process. We are loosing so much money, DH's contract job is wrapping up and we ain't sure of a recall, I am so scared as there is no solid plan B on ground yet. 


All our savings almost gone into business that has failed(starting and sustaining a business in Nigeria is no joke). Yes I work but that alone won't be enough, we have 2 kids.


This guy comes to my house everyday, he knows when DH gets back as if he is tailing him. He enters my kitchen and opens my freezer like it's his. 


The first thing he asks of is food when he comes in EVERYDAY ;I am tired. He is so selfish, there was a day I made beans and dodo, served him and DH together, beans on a flat plate and enough dodo in a soup bowl, I put 2 spoons and 2 forks on the tray, as soon as I set the table, DH had to take a long private call, he went into the bedroom and guess what? Zee finish all the plenty beans and dodo served for 2 chai, I was so vexed, DH came out looking surprised, he didn't say anything, he went to get more beans for himself and had to soak garri cos the dodo had finished.


 This and so many things I can't even say here, is it the days I will enter bus with my son and big belly because uncle Zee needs to use our only car that he always brings back red on fuel or the many items in my house he likes and takes home, like my small center rug, I got back from work and behold it was gone. Zee had been admiring it, convinced DH to give him and get a bigger one imagine. I don taya


I have been holding myself not react or show how displeased I am with him, it's so difficult for me to smile at him, I just say hi, serve him and stay in the room. I am trying so hard not to talk to him because if I do he will hate himself and I also don't want to do something I will regret but DH isn't listening to me at all.


 I need help, I need to send this guy far away from my family but I really don't know how.



*Hmmmmmm,have you noted if your hubby swings both ways?sounds like Zee is your hubbys lover oh.....If you set out no this Journey to try to seperate them,be ready for shocker cos he might choose this Zee over you......Men who swing both ways are always more loyal to their male lovers.
This zee has some info your man does not want out...

You are always in the room when he visits?start sitting with them and you will notice something and also chase him away...Just sit there and say nothing,your presence will begin to make them uncomfortable.

104 comments:

  1. I can't deal abeg. Stella may be right though

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What i feel maybe happening here:

      1) He is jazzing hubby

      2) That's just who your hubby is. People that love outsiders more than their own family. He probably grew up watching such play out in his own home

      3) They are gay partners. NEVER underestimate the bond in same sex love. It is only them that can break themselves. Nothing else can!

      4) Your hubby feels indebted to him for something he did for him in the past

      5) They both know each others dirty secrets and would rather stick together to death watching each others back. Than drift apart and spill

      Advice:

      Follow Stellas advice. Whether he is gay or not. Inconvenience his gum body so he'll go.

      Some people will never get the message until you do things the hard way

      Apply wisdom sha so you won't chase him and inherit another problem of hubby going home by 2am after spending the evening at his place

      Goodluck

      Delete
    2. Like Stella said, sit with them, follow them everywhere, stop smiling at zee,bone your face whenever he's around, don't serve food until hubby is there and ready to eat,look him in the eye wen speaking to him,use prayer to torment his life, start asking hubby for money even if you don't need it,put it in your account,set trap for them to quarrel etc. Babe this is war, get ready physically and spiritually.

      Delete
    3. Any small thing this days na gay, they may have come a long way together and maybe Z has refused to admit that his best friend is now married and has such pattern has to change also and I bet z is still single, hence when he gets married he will be too busy thinking of how to manage his and won't have time. They both need a rest of their brains, unlike women men are so ignorant of their actions.we men see nothing wrong in anything we do. That's is why they say it's a man's world.

      Delete
    4. I pray it's even jazz cos prayers can destroy it, but if it's gay something that one is hard oh.

      Delete
    5. Shey you people can see that women automatically tag men gay when men have besties. It’s still women that say men don’t connect. I don’t think they are gay. The friend is just a dominant friend and yes their relationship is toxic.
      Gay friends are usually in the shadows. They won’t come all out like that. It’s the people you won’t think about at all just like the way women cheat with people you won’t think about too.

      I feel like this woman is also exaggerating and the guy too is doing a bit much for a married friend. Tell the guy to his face that you aren’t comfortable with how he does and he will shift believe me

      Delete
    6. What Stella said crossed my mind. And as she said, if true he will likely choose him over you, until something breaks them up.
      If it isn't a gay relationship then your husband is naive and will learn the hard way. You seriously have to start thinking of a plan B and try to persuade your husband into it.

      Delete
    7. If Zee was her hubby's gay partner, trust me, she would have known, we women have strong instincts; she would have sensed it long ago. David loved Jonathan, it was brotherly love, they were not gay partners. Some people are sacrificial and would do anything for someone they care about...

      Delete
    8. Stella he isnt gay. Some people are meek in nature, when vicious people come across such people they take their kindness for granted, and since your hubby finds it hard making new friends, he has decided to stick with zee. You have to chase that man away, they will only say you are rude but you have to do something.

      Delete
    9. It is well

      Delete
  2. and I'm here complaining that my husband doesn't keep any friend, apart from work colleagues, and he doesn't visit them at home, and he's very comfortable. I tell him he's living a boring life, abeg I can't deal with this kind of friend o

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Consider yourself a lucky woman.

      Delete
    2. My husband has just 1 solid friend who's very matured and married too but he stays indoors too. We are both alike. I grew up not visiting people and got married to one๐Ÿ˜ like me.
      I stylishly planned a loving room naming cos I am scared people might not turn up. It's that bad but saves a lot of stress of fight and talk talk.

      Delete
    3. @anon17.41
      My husband no send friends, me no send friends too in short we are okay like that. I cherish it.
      I hear stories of people wondering what their spouse does. I look at my husband and I am like God you are too much.
      In short he is not even social media suave...na me be the phone handler. I sabi phone password and I have never for the life of me thought to go thru .why should I I no get reason to. I dont even password my own phone he doenst bother to handle phone if not for communication purpose he wont have a phone.
      When we were getting married I was scared people wont turn up..lmao...in short we didn't have brides maids or grooms men..we just hired 3 each..lol.weird lot..na family dey that day and we love ourselves that way. Biko dont ask how the 2 of us got to meet..it was arrangee..match make and we hit off. God bless that family member o best decision of our lives was to get married. It didnt take us 1 week of dating and here we are still basking strong after a couple of years.

      Delete
    4. lolz i get scared no one might turn up for my wedding as well, bought now that i have read your epistles i know say i go dey alright lolz

      Delete
    5. Hmmm...women are really strong oo...cos if it was me, ahhhh jesus! It wouldn't be funny rara!

      Besides...I feel so lonely๐Ÿ˜”I dnt kno y!

      Delete
  3. This is strange but Stella's advise might be true sha. Because knowing how men operate, they don't give their fellow men that kind of assistant except if something is fishy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahh madam, I think you need to borrow my mouth.
      These kind of people do not have the sense to reason for themselves so you have to warn them yourself. They dint recieve proper home training, so they need someone to put them in their place.
      MY hubby had one besty, that was trying to do the same thing, I chased him myself. Told him boundaries needed to be set and he needed to respect my home. Today we are cool friends but he respects his boundaries.
      Let him know cus your hubby will never speak.

      Delete
  4. I did not understand how your husband could be accommodating his friend like that, but Stella's red pen, just made me understand. I agree with Stella on this. That is the only reasonable explanation for your husband's action/inaction. @sugarcassie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella's red pen have said it all, poster Snoop and you will see things by urself.

      Delete
  5. It’s either he is using jazz on your hubby or he is his gay partner. Look for a way to cause them to fight physically or spiritually. You are a woman, claim your man and home back.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars18 July 2019 at 16:36

    Dear Poster, the same way you have put this down, ask the Lord to so something about it. A true friend doesn't milk his/her friend. He is up to no good.

    Pray and break whatever hold the guy has over your hubby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Typical African mentality. Ask the Lord to do something as if God will come down and talk to the husband. Why don't you peole use your God given brain and wisdom to deal with things? This is more of a practical problem that need wisdom to deal with. The same prayer you will do, will still require you to use your sense and brain to solve, so what with all these unnecessary things you African do that the whites that show you and teach you about God don't do??? Many of you are stuck in one place and not progressing because you are waiting for one imaginary miracle without lifting a finger and using your common sense. Look at where Africans are and whites are? The ignorance and abuse of God is worrisome in Africa, everything is not a myth, humans create problems that humans should solve and pray that whatever decision they take by faith should succeed,and if it does not, keep looking, trying until you find a solution.

      Delete
    2. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars18 July 2019 at 19:30

      Dear Anonymous 17:12, thank you. But I read the Bible and it tells me to pray without ceasing and also to pray about everything and anything. First the wisdom to even handle this issue correctly without creating any more issues will come from God.

      I have seen God answer even the littlest request. So praying doesn't mean she won't take a step. But that step she must take must and should be guided. Remember God is the one that made us and knows our hearts. Peace.

      PS. I didn't need to spell it out but since you are not African I guess I had to explain it. Nothing wrong with trusting God.

      Delete
    3. Yes the same bible white people handed to you and you trust it more than the common sense God himself gave you as he is omniscience. SMH
      The ignorance is amazing, i am scared of the next generation that does not want to think for themselves, even the answer you gave is very typical, not even addressing anything i wrote there. God answer little request you said? Lol
      I am not even going to go there with you, the slave mentality and ignorance is all over in those write ups of yours, waste of time. Use your brain more, writing English is not the only thing required for someone who is wise, critical thinking is very important. Mark is an atheist by his apps today have made you and I the world to communicate easily, a problem he thought, study and solve! If you know your bible very well as you claim, you will also know that God knows everything, he created you, knew where and how you will end up. SMH

      Delete
  7. Zee has overstepped his boundary. I can't take this shit Lai Lai! If after telling Hubby how I feel about all these and he still doesn't listen to me, then I will show Zee the way out. Arrant nonsense. Will he be there for hubby when he completely loses his job or go broke? Shameless Parasite!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Even before going to red pen, I already suspected something between those two.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Chai
    This one made me laugh sha.
    Please don’t mind Stella. Your hubby may just be the type that doesn’t make a lot of friends and love and appreciate the ones they have like me.
    Is this zee married with his own family?
    There was a BV that posted on how she chased her husband’s leech of a friend out of their lives. Wish I can remember. Kpele

    ReplyDelete
  10. Serious issue indeed...

    Don't just know wat to type..so dicey

    ReplyDelete
  11. madam you better react,you dunno wais going on

    ReplyDelete
  12. Poster this is not a friend but co wife oo. Ah ah!! I'm confused and don't know what to tell you but if it's me, I would have confronted Zee long ago and probably ask his own wife to speak to him aswell. I pray you get the best answer here and apply it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously!!!! this is not your husband's friend, but your co wife.

      Delete
    2. When I am done with zee, he won’t even remember my house address.

      Delete
    3. Lol...its not even co wife..she is d maid and baby making machine.
      Lol.

      Delete
  13. Please investigate more and also pray that God reveals everything to you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow, i thought it was jazz but the red pen is setting off bells in my head. Reminds me of one married 'pastor' and his light skinned , muscular, pink lipped lover boy in ph.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Elizabeth Bathory18 July 2019 at 16:45

    I hope it's jazz and not what the red pen is suggesting.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Poster, I understand what you are going through cos I am even boiling on your behalf.first off,what kind of personality is your hubby?if he is someone you can open up to as regards this issue then gently sit him down and tell him that his friend is a leech!if he listens to your own side of the presentation,then gently and wisely help him cut off from that guy.
    If your hubby is not the type to talk things through with,my dear,enter serious midnight prayers,tell God everything, present your case and ask God to separate that man from your family. A good friend will not be one who causes his friend hardship in the name of being friends biko.enter into spiritual warfare with him,you are the advocate of your home,you didn't marry for your family to toil for another person albeit without conscience, let your prayers do the work and see him keep his distance from your family.
    PS:be specific in your prayers o,tell God to make your hubby never to go back to that friendship when the separation comes,let God even open his eyes before you begin to see the manifestation of answered prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Sorry about what u are passing through dear,there is always one friend that is selfish, i don't even know what to tell u but in my case i started from the beginning of marriage to tackle any issue that i dnt like and accept the ones i can't change,my husband has friends like this but from beginning i changed it for them and they have adjusted to it,you cant come to my house and disturb my peace,your husband might not be swinging both sides,some men dont see those things as problem or he is just showing care to his friend that doesn't have,my husband will be like 'you know he doesn't have bla bla' so like stella said start staying with them when he comes,eat with them to make him uncomfortable, i can make some of my husband's friend uncomfortable if i want,i will be looking at your mouth when you are eating,i will be looking at you when u are talking, u will talk something funny,i won't laugh,the guy might not know you doesn't like those things and he might even know but pretend,some of them even believe they were there befor you so deal with it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in! The way I will look at him ehnn, he won't be able to swallow the food in his mouth.

      Delete
    2. Poster take this advice.. the o my way is prayer nd making him uncomfortable.. I swear he would run! Sit with them and be looking at him, don’t laugh at any joke he makes.. that is u doing things without verbally insulting the idiot that doesn’t have sense to know when to draw the line

      Delete
    3. 16;46. Best advice

      Delete
  18. No jazz or lovers. Zero helped hubby before and hubby doesn’t want to be ungrateful
    They’ve been friends for so long. The things that bother you, hubby just shakes head at his friend and moves on. Hubby wants his friend to be settled in life. Maybe help him find wife then he can leave u guys

    ReplyDelete
  19. This is almost same with my hubby's male friend. Always at our house, I can't get any private moments with my hubby cos the man is always there discussing his family problems or the other. He comes to the house unannounced, one day he got in and when he didn't see my hubby in the sitting room he went straight to our bedroom. I asked hubby to advice him not to enter our bedroom again but hubby was being diplomatic about it, a few days later it happened again and I stopped the man right in his tracks as he was climbing the stairs. Since then he has been carrying face for me. Who cares. I can't wait for him to have a falling out with hubby so he can stop showing up. Jeez. He stays till 10pm most days, some days he spends the night sef. And this isn't about gay. The man just has so many family and business problems and I know he's always coming around to see what he can get from hubby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well st least they are coming to your house if you do too much hubby will start meeting him outside

      Delete
    2. This is funny ๐Ÿ˜ , which kind man be that one? He should go Facebook his problems nd leave u guys alone!

      Delete
  20. Does this friend have a wife?
    Me, I can't tolerate such o

    ReplyDelete
  21. This one is a leech ๐Ÿ˜จ
    It’s your home, don’t allow senseless uncle zee ruin it for you.
    Why your hubby still accommodates him , I don’t understand.
    Madam poster, you seem like a quiet person, reason you have been taking all of this.
    Have you talked to both your parents and in-laws?
    He has put uncle zee before you guys.
    Why is it that any business your hubby invests in with him, flops?
    Your husband will not listen to whatever you say so handle this on your own.
    Tell uncle zee to stop using your husband, make him understand you are aware of the games he is playing.
    Anytime he comes, don’t serve him food. You have made him too comfortable in your home.
    Stop him from entering your kitchen before he poisons y’alls food.
    When your husband is not around, I am sure uncle zee will visit.
    Tell him you don’t like him and that you don’t want him close to your husband anymore.
    Mess him up terribly. When your husband finds out, allow him vent, he will get tired.
    Your comfort and that of your kids must always come first.

    ReplyDelete
  22. START VIGILS PRAYERS

    ReplyDelete
  23. Buy a sim card and start sending your husband msgs that zee is going about spreading gist around town that he is gay.
    After one week, send mags that zee is telling people that your husband is going broke soon. That his work contract is ending.
    Eavesdrop and find out things only two of them discuss, and send to your husband saying zee is spreading it.
    Dont make threats on his life though, so he doesn't involve police. And dont save the number anywhere maka trucaller.
    You can discard the sim and get a new sim every week to avoid tracing.
    Also, hide the phone in your office. Preferably a torch non internet phone.
    Be very very careful. Cos your marriage will end if u are ever caught.
    Hide it well oo incase your husband visits you at work and searches for it. Cos he might suspect you.
    Start being polite to zee to avoid suspicion.
    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster dont follow this advice. The bible says do not bare false witness, you need God in this battle. Don't go and lie on zee but face this situation squarely by confronting Zee. Or If Zee has a wife, go to her and pretend to be seeking for advise for a friend. Tell all that her husband does in your house, just quote it a bit so she doesn't suspect it's her husband. Example the carpet he took, you can say a belt. When she gives you her advise, tell her it's her husband. Then plead with her to help you stop him from interfering in your home.

      Delete
    2. Hahaha.....๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
      I can't stop laughing. The bible said 'do not bear false witness' indeed.I guess your bible stopped at that point and didn't say anything about pretending.She needs God in this battle to help her 'quote' lies?
      Anon 18:10,I bet people tell you that you have a talent for comedy.
      Typical Nigerian christian!

      Delete
    3. Poster don't do this. It is risky. When you are found out, everyone will tag you the evil one.

      Delete
    4. This advise is coming from a demonic heart.
      Pure witchcraft.

      Delete
  24. They are not lovers, there are people like your husband. You should tell him how you feel about him. My hubby had a friend like that, after I complained to my hubby. The guy doesn't come to our house anymore.. The guy is a user

    ReplyDelete
  25. Boldly tell your husband you suspect he has something with Zee and relax for a while and watch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Evil adviser @anon 16.59 poster take this advice at your peril that’s how they break people home

      Delete
  26. They are not gay partners, there are loads of shameless people like Zee. Tell your husband u don't like the guy coming to your house everyday. People like that that won't stop coming to your house, until u stop them. They are shameless like that..

    ReplyDelete
  27. All the reasons listed above are possibilities but I doubt if they could be the reasons. Pls ask your husband nicely about his past with this guy. It could be he had a very rough past ,financially or emotionally, and Zee was his rock then. Now your hubby is the favored one and believe he should reciprocate. I know of someone who was so poor as a student, couldn't afford his fees and always came to the campus penniless. He had this friend from an average home who squatted him, fed him, clothed him without ever complaining and cared for his wellbeing generally. Well, the table turned after graduation and the penniless friend, now ok, decided to start reciprocating. The wife was pissed and it almost led to the breakdown of their marriage. Likewise, for inlaws. Most sils and bils, slave tirelessly for their siblings to be great and make sacrifices that seem strange to the ears at times. When the men get married , we women without knowing all these will start lamenting when our husbands bend over backwards to do stuff for such people. My candid opinion is, ask your hubby questions,try and be more accommodating and show him love generally. He won't remain in that dependent state forever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is another angle. Poster ask your husband for he and Zees past. Maybe he was his benefactor before. The answer will lead you on the next steps to take

      Delete
  28. Women and their ownership mentality. "He opens my fridge", he doesn't swing both ways Stella. He is just helping the guy , the guy is just being stupid, he should adjust. See your friend out of the house. Then speak lovingly to your husband about saving for the future, don't make it sound like his poor friend is the only reason he should save.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Poster now is the time to use attitude and send zee away. Don't talk o so there will be nothing to say you said. Start by reducing the quantity of food you give him,lock your fridge/freezer,sit in the sitting room when he's around and hold the remote. She you serve him food,give it to him in a very disrespectful manner. Use body language and kee him. Serve he and your husband separately andake sure your husband's food is more with all the necessary encouragements.
    Even if he's your husband's gay partner,let them take their love outside. The next time he takes something from your house,ask him about it the next day and subtly pass your message across (e.g uncle Zee,my husband said you took the center rug,ha! There's no money to buy another one and my children are using it o. It is well!).
    Most importantly, work on your husband. I hate people that inconvenience their family for outsiders. He's your husband so you should know the best way to deal with him.
    In all these never open your mouth to directly insult Zee o,let your husband do the talking while you use attitude. Nonsense! They will be doing what they cannot take

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my hubby has one like dis, he never shows up when we are celebrating, wedding, christening , birthdays but he wants us to always come for his and his extended family events even his colleagues and other friends events he will def invite us but conviently absent when we r celebrating our Joy weldone MR O

      Delete
  30. See the way I'm angry on your behalf. You can't continue to keep quiet. You're a woman, your body language will send a message that he is crossing his boundary. Lock your kitchen when you're done serving your husband his food. Lock your fridge/freezer, sit with them in the sitting room when they are together, you don't have to be rude but pass your message clearly. Ki lo de gan?

    Above all, keep praying for your husband. I just hope what Stella said above their relationship isn't true cos hnmmm

    ReplyDelete
  31. My hubs has a friend that I’m trying to chase out too.
    This one really needs help tho but.....
    He started bringing his clothes to wash because he doesn’t have washing machine where he stays.

    Now most of his clothes are in our house... reading ur chronicle, I understand perfectly well how u feel.
    This one haven’t done half of what u typed but na so e Dey start.
    How can u be visiting 7 days in a week? When will we have the time to bond?

    Yesterday he called and sent text message that he’s at the gate, my husband totally ignored. That he’s tired of his wahala (I just continued with my movie).
    To add salt to injury, I was wearing a pollo shirt and G-string underneath. I told him I can’t go upstairs to change. So Oga just ignored him. His house is close to ours. He should rest a little. Habba manna!

    Last month me n hubby where carrying face for our selves. He offended me n didn’t see the need to apologize. So when this his friend came, they will just be watching movies and gisting so loud and hubs will be laughing like I don’t exist. The thing pain me. The mumu friend noticed but did not even say anything (maybe he was minding his business). I thought of what to do to them so they will know watsup. So I switched on all d appliances that our gen can’t carry on a normal day. I on 2 water heaters, 2 Ac, pumping machine, iron and anything that uses light. The gen did ggrekpakpakahhannggav and went off. They tried and tried it didn’t come on. Then guy man came upstairs to sleep. He knew I did something but he didn’t ask.

    One day I will take time and inspect his anus sha, i won’t take any chances๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 17:15, mad woman ๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
    2. Lol, don't know why this made me laugh

      Delete
    3. You and I will get along ooo

      Delete
    4. OmG ๐Ÿ˜ฎ this right here is a real werey wife.
      Stella your BVs won’t kill me, I can’t stop laughing

      Delete
    5. Oh lawd๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

      Delete
  32. such a terrible person.He is taking advantage of your hubby's kindness and liniency..He feels since he has known your husband even before you got married,there's nothing you can do about it.

    People like that exist sha selfish and self centered without shame...or maybe he jazzed your husband.. do as i say things

    ReplyDelete
  33. Be milking hubby too.
    Act like u are investing in something ..
    Give him attitude..
    Stay when he is around.
    Lock ur kitchen .
    Make him uncomfortable

    ReplyDelete
  34. Madam,go down on your knees and separate them with prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  35. On my wedding day my sister told me if yr hubby has a bestie break the relationship
    I never understood till later.
    The friendship died a week after wedding.
    Hubby bestie's bad mouthed my hubby to my chief bridesmaid and bridesmaid told me.
    He wanted to date her whilst been engaged to another girl he had dated for 7years.
    Guess he was desperate and wanted to form loyal friend or God just helping me.
    Hubby said nothing but just withdrew.
    Years after I started to understand what my sis had said hearing other people's story.
    It is better u act up and know where u stand in ur hubby's life than been a mumu just. looking
    Soon u will see he will put him in his will .
    So be wise...

    ReplyDelete
  36. Zee acting Zeeworld for you

    ReplyDelete
  37. God forbid such friends, poster if u don't like something, speak out. What manner of entitlement is that

    ReplyDelete
  38. Something is fishy definitely and it's not Titus fish. Your hubby hands are tied due to something. Please calm down to do your findings;follow stella's advice.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Start with the food. When he visits tell him him respect......No food oo and serve him WATER. Or better still welcome him, stay in the room for a while and come out later to chat with them ๐Ÿ˜‹. Me I will insult you with respect ..... I am that good.

    Men don't see what we see. My hubby had a friend like that until he showed him pepper he remembered my words. Now he calls me a witch๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    ReplyDelete
  40. dear poster..i experienced this, i complained to my mum and she said he is not a family member so God will handle him easily that i should just pray. i started waking up at midnight and i will pray and ask God to separate him and my hubby and i will be calling out their names while i prayed and truly, God did it and God exposed him for who he is. same person i used to talk to hubby about and beg him to reduce the friendship and all and i n hubby will argue n fight on top the matter, was same person hubby did'nt want to see or have anything to do with him. today they still talk but they are no longer close and hubby is very careful around him. poster don't think too much or show that u don't want him around and don't fight with ur hubby just pray for a while and tell God all zee is doing and how uncomfortable u are, it may take a while but God will expose him and remove him from ur lives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars18 July 2019 at 19:44

      Thank you.

      Delete
    2. LMAO typical African "christian" smh!

      Delete
    3. Best so far...thanks Ma'am

      Delete
  41. women and wahala.is it Ur house or money? stop invading in Ur DH privacy.no woman can try dis rubbish with me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you fucking your friends? rubbish talk, who you be? you never jam your mate, you go bow.

      Delete
    2. You call that privacy? How will you know? She will just deal with silently.

      Some men don't know there boundaries.

      Delete
  42. Dear poster, I understand your frustration and I can tell you I'm equally vexed but before I proceed, I'd want you to answer some questions.

    1). If this guy was rich and always giving you money, would you feel the way you currently feel for him ?

    2). Is the guy hardworking but things are not working out for him ?

    3). For how long have they been friends ?

    4). Have they been friends before you ?

    5). Does he genuinely have resources but he's stingy ?

    Answering the above questions would help in making you know the best decision to make. But as a man, we always try to be available for our friends that we know are true to us. You see, you wonder why women don't always help their selves grow but it simply because of attitudes like these that brings about that. Men always feel indebted to their selves and are always ready to go any length to help their selves.

    Often times, we feel because the other persons hustle is not paying off, we are better at making decisions than them. Failing to realise the difference between us and them is just "Gods Grace". Women would always advice their fellow women to do away with anyone that's taking off them but men are not wired that way. That's the reason we see when some guys become rich, they go to look for those friends that has once helped them.

    Real story: My cousin was a security guy in an airport, so one day after so many years he bumped into one of his best friend at the airport and that friend asked him what he was doing there. Excerpts below:

    Cousin: oboy how far na ?

    Friend: I dey o, wetin you dey do here ? I don dey find you everywhere.

    Cousin: oboy I be security here o.

    Friend: how you go be security when I dey work for oil company ? Abeg arrange you CV send to me.

    Today my cousin equally works at that oil company. He is well off today and almost completing his house.

    Try and pick out the good thing about your husband's friend and only by then you'd truly see the guy for who he is. I'm not saying there are no bad friends; I have had my own fair share of that. What I'm saying is, you should try and see him from your husband's eyes and only by then would you understand their relationship. Know that when things don't work according to the way we plan and work, it doesn't make that person useless but rather that person's time hasn't arrived.

    Warmest Regards.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nah. Not entirely correct about the “if he was rich or okay thing”. A person with manners and respect won’t go about opening people’s fridge or finishing their food. Did your cousin go to his friend’s house and start opening his fridge or taking his friend’s rug? Zee has bad manners and people like that rarely succeed.

      Delete
    2. God bless you. Another angle.

      Yes, there are genuinely bad friends but Poster should think about the advice up here before deciding

      Delete
    3. What is there in a rug 18:56
      U think hubby told him no it’s my wife’s rug. Maybe he said it’s fine and hubby said oya take and he carried. He finished plantain
      What’s there? It’s food

      Delete
  43. Woman you have to stand up, And stop letting zee be in charge of your home. You'll be blamed in the end.
    This same thing happened to my parents and my dad is no more today poisoned by almithy Best friend he preferd to listen to more than his wife.

    ReplyDelete
  44. As I was reading, the first thing that came to mind is that it's a gay relationship, and my first gut feeling about a situation is always right but I pray to God for your sake and your children that I'm wrong this time.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Your husband isn't gay, no, far from it. He is just a pushover and most likely, a people gratifier. His friend, on the other hand, is a leech and a utilizer (who fortuitously enough and unluckily for your man) has found his camping and breeding site and would never leave it for anything. And understanding healthy boundaries isn't atypical of leeches' comportment.

    Now the onus is on you to turn the tide, by setting things straight. Yes, the situation isn't encouraging. Your husband is a grown-up man who should be able to hold his own when interacting with friends and all. You shouldn't have to be his mouthpiece nor bodyguard, as it is, you are left with no choice. However, you don't strike me as a candid person yourself. Well, I may be erroneous.

    Let's commence with the kitchen scenario. You were there, yet he went past you to open the fridge. Right there you should have stopped him in his track albeit not impertinently. "Oh, it seems you want something, SIT, I will get it for you" (be assertive but look helpful).

    The day he thoroughly devoured the meal without batting an eyelid. You should not have kept quiet. That's enabling. "Oh, zee the meal was for you both, you must have a lot on your mind to have forgotten". Then next time, reiterate your self before serving or jestingly tell him you are putting it in separate plates because you don't want what transpired in 1765 to repeat itself". He will get the message little by little, hopefully. Else you require firmer measures, but for now, go with this.

    You have the feminine wiles to handle him in your home. Since you are there. But with what transpires with the business, believe me, you can't authentically do much for now but pray, for your man isn't ready to listen. Maybe when he sees a few changes with how zee has been behaving lately at your house, your hubby will conclusively step up. But for now, start tutoring zee about boundary from your home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are very wise. Poster, follow this advice. If things become unyielding, you can just employ drastic measures like changing to your skimpy nightie when he has overstayed. If hubby is not disturbed, that could be a red flag.
      As per failed businesses, that man will not leave your husband until he has drained him. You can wait until you become the breadwinner and then you will be able to have more control of things, until he gets back to his feet. This will be a trying moment for you but also he will likely learn from it. Will bros Zee now start asking you for money? He wouldn't. Also explore possible alternative streams of income now and keep it away from hubby. Like everyone here has said, be prayerful.

      Delete
  46. Your husband is probably gay. you try o, i will NEVER tolerate such things in my home. e go don stop tey tey becos i am very impatient with users. set up a camera or a recorder and hear their conversation.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Poster please stop serving him food. You don't owe him that. Find ways to reduce the way he opens your fridge and enters your kitchen like its his house. What nonsense. Do it without having to act rude and be consistent. He will get the message

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let him enter fridge or whatever. Take him as hubby takes him
      My friends need no permission to enter my fridge

      Delete
  48. There's more to their friendship that you don't know. I hope he's not your husband side chick. If not, there's something you don't know, that's going on between them..

    ReplyDelete
  49. Stella finally agree with your red pen. Zee is your husband's boo, you're just a cover story. If you have had a child (well really a son) with your husband, the day you bring up Zee like this to your husband is the day he tells you to pack up. But if ypu haven't had his heir yet and you complain he will just beg you and ask you to manage.
    Zee is your husband's mistress dear, deal with it

    ReplyDelete
  50. It’s a common fact that life is full of ups and downs and zee doesn’t appreciate the fact that a woman is now involved and that mostly will require that he makes adjustments.
    However I feel that the poster should be careful on how she goes about bothering herself on petty issues because some men find it difficult to disconnect from loyal friends.
    From the narrative things are not really going well for zee and that could change any moment.
    If her husband is comfortable with zee and there’s no threat to the stability of their home and marriage, then she should focus on doing what she can and discuss her concerns with the husband without creating any obvious drama,because tables do turn and some relationships are very important for different stages of life.

    ReplyDelete
  51. I hope Zee and fellow Zees are read ing this?

    You are bothered about the future while your husband isnt.....


    Start saving like crazy. And watch how it unfolds .


    Curtail and caution Zee's excesses politemy and firmly

    He is disrespectful to you , but put him in his place . If he wants to enter your kitchen , tell him you don't like strangers entering your personal space like he is .



    And of course , pray.


    Yorubas will say one should be conscious of how other a react to their actions and attitudes .


    Pray and siddon look.


    Talk to your husband too! That by allowing Zee do as he pleases, he is allowing the whole family to be disrespected and leading them down to financial ruin.


    From what you have described, it's not a sexual relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I have a friend like that. We were so close back in school. Now I am the one who looks like the buoyant one, so I still stick around so it doesn't look like I feel big now. Trust me, I am not happy with his entitlement mentality, I know the relationship will soon pack up, just waiting for it to happen naturally.

    ReplyDelete
  53. If you husband did not caution zee for eating all the food, then your husband is either weak or a people pleaser. You have to be bold and confront zee in the presence of your husband. It is your home, not Zee's. Set boundaries.

    ReplyDelete
  54. When one is too friendly or accommodating, at times it can be seen as weakness and people tend to take advantage. I think that is what Zee is playing at. Call him out. He is your husband's friend not yours.

    He should get his own life outside your house.

    Do not be afraid... The ball is in your court. Talk to your husband and Zee at the same time and watch your husband's reaction. then Zee's.

    I have had to drive friends away for this stinking attitude even family members. When you switch... It might look bad then .... BUT you will be respected....

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com

Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..

If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via

Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
Mobile Phone +4915210724141