Stella Dimoko Sunday In House Gists - When Children Cause Parents To Break Up..


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Sunday, July 14, 2019

Sunday In House Gists - When Children Cause Parents To Break Up..

This is a very dicey subject we are about to step on...........It is happening and whilst some don't realise,some do not know what to do about it...............

Kids can cause parents to Break up some out of mischief and some out of Jealousy!!...You don't believe me?I know quite a few couple that has happened to but let me use that famous Hollywood couple that split after the husband got in a fight with their adopted son....The son had created tension between the hottest couple and the Mother took sides with her while the Father could not discipline her.....The tension built until the plane incident that nail the final one on the marriage...Now they are divorced.......I don't know of father and son get along now.

Has your marriage been affected by your kids?Do you and your spouse always fight because of the kids with one person taking sides and the other against?
Well this happens in my home sometimes,my kids are so protective of me and because of this if their Father raises his voice at them,I remind him that i am the one who carried them for nine months and can scold them

Some can handle secnarios like this and some can not.....

Let us discuss this and if this is happening in your home or has happened,please tell us what you did or are doing to avoid it escalating....

I also want to learn by reading!!!!

Those without wards,please read and learn!


  1. Sometimes some choose their spouse over their kids....n let d kid stew.

  2. Currently happening in my Church, the father has been in Canada for 4yrs now, they have 4 kids together (2boys 2girls).
    The oldest a boy is 14, the youngest a girl is 8yrs. The oldest feeds the father all sorts. She comes home late from shop, she speaks with men on phone etc.
    Now he filed for all the 4 children and left the wife. She gave a tearful testimony this morning. I really feel for her.
    The kids are leaving on Tuesday, and she said the man has stopped picking her calls.

    1. What a pity
      This marriage was programmed to fail from the outset. . . i.e. one spouse staying "abroad"
      to make money while the other stayed in Nigeria (what the Naija girls see as hell).
      So they put money over companionship which was God's idea for marriage. It is not difficult to
      see that one will give for no one can serve God and money. A good marriage/home/kids is service to
      God for he is "expecting godly offspring".Mal. 2:15.
      Abroad and the "good life" cannot replace God and lovely companionship in marriage.
      This lady has learnt a bitter lesson.

    2. It is likely that this woman pushed her husband to go abroad like many do.
      It is also likely that the man married Oyibo to get papers just like many do.
      It is also likely that this woman went after men for it is not easy to stay for 4 years without ones husband. will these kids ever be
      same again?

    3. This is sad. If she's innocent, God will come through for her

    4. What kind of wicked child is that? Even if the woman was cheating, does she know what her father is doing abroad?
      If it was the other way round, she may not even confront the man, the gist will die there.
      The man who left his wife and 4kids, what was he thinking? He did not even investigate, just like that he took them.
      Nawa o

    5. Honestly it was so sad. The congregation were in tears. She said "so this is how I will lose 4 children because of just 1 child I did nothing wrong but showed love all his life. The boy was sober, though not crying, the other 3 held her crying.

    6. the real tess-baby14 July 2019 at 20:33

      This things happen oo
      I remember wen I was younger, I was my father's favourite n bcos of dat, anytime my father comes back from long trips, nobody can do me anything then, even my mom.
      There was once I caused so much problems for my parents dat dey fought on my behalf, then my dad went on his trip again, one come n see bearings of all sort from my mom!

    7. Lol, when the kids come to Canada, they will know that life is not so easy. They will need their mother. Everyone thinks abroad is heaven. They will grow up very fast. It's a beautiful place, but you have to work hard even in extreme cold. If you have both parents living together, life will be a bit easier. No ajebutter here. Beyonce's oyibo land is still very far.

    8. Anon 14:59 - wowww whoever you are, I have never seen someone as judgmental as you in my life!!! You just practically said they deserved whatever has happened to the marriage... wow!!!!

  3. Whenever my husband is scolding our children, I keep quiet 🤫 and when he finishes,I will turn to our children and ask them if they heard what their father said,where they need to tender apology, I do it with them and talk to my husband in a gentle manner concerning them. My family is important to me..

    1. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    2. Is this the same Kpanpando i know from many years back before i started blogging?if yes babe mail me

    3. Noooo this is a new kpakpando my beloved SDK. Nwanyioma. I used to comment on your blog then stopped but when you asked that question (you come to my blog and you don't comment how do you sleep at night), I started commenting again. 😁😁😁✌️

  4. Disciplining the kids was one of the topics we discussed during courtship.
    I made him understand that, I was quite concerned because I wasn't very good with that.
    My DH (then fiance) asked me to leave that to him and only requested of one thing; Whenever he disciplined them, I should not protect them/bring in emotion as to make them find a nest to hide while continuing the evil.
    To this deal I agreed because I know exactly what the scripture says;
    Hebrews 12:9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.
    Also see Prov. 13:24

    So because of his discipline, the kids have utmost respect for him and
    indeed us. When he used cane (initially to the very small ones but rarely), asks them to kneel down for timed periods, grounds them, seized their toys etc. I reciprocated by denying them the snacks that they crave for a stipulated time -days/weeks. So they
    just know that we are together in it
    and they can't just mess around and think that any
    of us will mount a protective barrier.

    Like I've always written here, a lot of times, the problem is that many girls put all their energies in preparing for wedding and vanities but little or
    no time to prepare for marriage (the kids, the home, the finances etc.)
    All they do during what is supposed to be courtship is fork; different styles of fork styles and in every available space -under the kitchen sink, in the car, in the boot, in the bush ... even in cyber space. . . 😊😊😊. Phone sef na fork gadget ...
    And boom! They say "I do" and suddenly them go find say them didn't; na to offload becomes the next agenda o. Mbanu, remove fork during dating/courtship and
    concentrate on building the relationship towards an enduring home

    I don yarn finish for now.
    Over to the veteran attackers . . .


    1. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
      I love your method.
      Same with my parents.

    2. 😂😂😂@ under kitchen sink, how is that even possible ???????
      ANG you dey worry ooo

    3. @madam fork,You have made a good point and I have learnt something from you today(surprisingly).
      Must you attack naija girls,where and how they fork?
      Na question I ask o,I no get strength to fight today...

    4. @Veteran
      Thank God... say you are learning what you will preach okwa ya?
      Wetin happen to ya strength, you do nderi -night vigil (surprisingly)???
      If I no yarn about Naija girls wetin I go yarn kwanu?
      I love naija girls so much 🌹🌹🌹🌹😝😝
      Abeg how's Side Chikito, hope she is strengthened? 🌹🌹

    5. @anon's not flesh and blood that revealed this to you.

      That is how it should be done. My useless mother destroyed our family and killed my dad doing the exact opposite. She will pretend to support our firm dad in his presence and the back biting and gossip him afterwards.

      Abeg long story.
      Women draw your ears and stop been agents of your own home destruction.

  5. My Sister's son caused their divorce after 5 kids. They were all living in a 5 bedroom apartment including the inlaws(mother and father to be precise) and everything was fine they love my sister and she loves them in return. So on this particular day she warned her third child(a 6yrs old boy) not to ever eat anything again after he has already ate ( he is quiet greedy). His mother said after giving him food and he didn't even finish the food, he went to his grandma's room and met her eating, when grandma offered him food and the little boy said and i quote ""my mummy said i should never collect food from you again"" haa! The grandma was furious and angry that will she poison her grandchild? Kinikan kinikan. The matter escalated quickly with the husband supporting his parents, my sister tried to explain tire. The issue cause a strain in their relationship and their divorced today after 5 children my sister is back to square one, very painful an sad a lovely home could shattered because of that small issue. omit my errors abeg i dey type fast

    1. If that can break a home then the foundation was faulty to begin with. Besides, are they Indians that live with the whole family under one roof? Weird sh*t.

    2. But that was just a minor issue to cause their divorce. Did he really love his wife? I don't think so.

    3. The husband was looking for an avenue to divorce before the issue, because to me, it’s a very minor issue that should have been resolved amicably.

    4. They never loved your sister.

    5. Story of in-laws living with someone can never end well. No matter how much they shine teeth, see finish and hidden hatred and envy is there cos they feel they're doing the wife a favour. Even if your sister's in-laws were illiterates, they would ask your nephew to repeat what his mother said. They won't react that way, even if they don't understand English! Sorry to say but your sister's in-laws were pretending all along, using her and looking for a way to scatter the marriage. If the MIL involved took your sister like her daughter, she would have known your sister long and well enough to know what she can or can't say.

    6. Even if she said it, a mother in law that really loved her DIL won’t let it get out. She would have called your sister to have a discussion. Nobody would have heard what was said and even if it got out, she would have stood firm and said that didn’t warrant a divorce. They never loved her and her husband already had plans.

  6. Just yesterday, my hubby while trying to get my attention, grabbed my phone from my grasp, turned off the TV I was watching. I plunged on him, to fight for the tv remote and my phone, my son came to defend me, and fight my hubby with me (lol) Don't know if he thought it was a real physical fight, hubby became angry that at 7 he always got involved in our issues that had nothing to do with him. He tried to hurt him by twisting his hand. I defended him.
    This always happens.
    In fact later, my son said I wished I had a dad who is kinder to my mom.
    That touched me, and I told hubby that we needed to be careful what we do when he is around.
    He can't differentiate when we are teasing each other and when we are really going at each other.

    1. @Always happens?
      You folks are raising this kid in a war front and you are proudly
      shredding your home with your own hands. It is a pity. The man
      took your phone and tv remote to get your attention because your
      attention is glued to these gadgets? How do you allow yourself to be
      slave to gadgets. . . to the extent of loving them more than your
      This is sad, a lot of you ladies are not wise at all.

    2. Watching BBN and gossiping on social media. Do you ladies of these days have any other preoccupation? This man buy real market.

    3. @15:49 please increase the volume

    4. @15:49,why are you so judgemental?
      How can you just conclude that she's a slave to gadgets and prefers them to her hubby?So,they shouldn't play again?
      Are you in her heart or home to jump into such a nasty conclusion?
      So because she's married,she shouldn't have her privacy and she should become her husband's puppet or slave?
      What if she just needs a distraction from her husband?
      Please stop with the foolishness and face your own marriage(if married)!
      @onyi,your kid is 7 and 7 year olds are not as naive as we think.They can think for themselves and draw their own conclusions.Please,talk to hubby and cry if you have to (it works) and tell him to be careful with you whenever your son is around and he shouldn't have any grudges against your son because he was trying to defend you and assure him that your son would defend him too,if he were in your shoes.
      Encourage him to have more "father and son time",it helps with the bonding.
      Talk to your son too and tell him that "daddy is a good man and he is kind to mummy".
      You have to assure him that all is well so that he won't be hostile to his father.
      If your son prefers you to his father then there is something your husband isn't doing right.He is supposed love his parents almost equally.Please sort this out before it becomes too late.
      Good luck.

    5. Madam this your story is somehow.

    6. @ANON 15:49
      If we check the home you run or the one you grew up from, I am very certain it will be worse.
      Guess your dumb mind couldn't decipher from my post that I and hubby were only playing.
      My home is fun. We play and joke.
      Guess your own marriage (if you are married) is boring.

      Get out of my post

    7. Lolz, you guys just attacked "ANG" without even knowing. I can smell her chat (even without adding naijagirl yarns) from miles away.

      You are welcome.

  7. My mum will always support us but never will my dad take our side, he will always support his wife.

    1. Wow just like my daddy too, even if we support him, he will turn against us and support his wife. I look at them as twins so when they quarrel, we support no one and leave them to settle.

  8. I have a great family and I am very greatful to God.
    With our high and lows we always have a meeting point.
    Sometimes my hubby is too hard on them I talk to him ;
    most times I am not calm about it.((Workin on it )
    Sometimes I get hard on them and my hubby will speak in our language I should be calm,that I am too hard on them.
    If it is a chore he assists me so I can be calm.
    We just always have a meeting point for any disagreement and I will give kudo's to my hubby on that.
    May God help us not to see any breakup...

  9. Bad mother alert @Stella!

    1. did anyone call you here to come and Judge?do you run my home for me?how is yours?I am a bad mother?becos i told you that up there?u r full of shit!!! is people like yo that nobody should confide in

    2. Hmm what a judgement.
      You don't even know stella other than what you read here .

    3. probably was just a joke de take these things serious. you already know you, this opinion doesnt change anything

    4. @14:35
      You call her "bad mother" you come no tell her how
      she fit become what you consider "good mother?" okwa ya?
      We no dey come here tear people down, we come here make we build people up inugo?
      😯😯😯😯. Sdk no provoke o, them secret "otu" -group fit send am come message

    5. Anon 14:35 Wetin dey bring this one here na? 😏😧. This is why most of us don't share personal experiences here.... .

    6. This one is a fool,how is Stella a bad mother,this is something natural that happens in any family.

  10. Dicey situation indeed! I've got one I know, the parents are separated already not because of the child though but now that they are separated, child is with the mother but tells so much lies to the dad about the mum hence making reconciliation tougher.

    Guess the kid's age? 6 years. I really don't even know what advice to give my friend about the situation. She's beginning to resent her child... so sad!

    My own issue is sometimes trying to plead on my children's behalf when hubby wants to discipline them. I know it's wrong so as not to make hubby look like the "wicked one". No be say me sef no dey discipline them o, lol!
    I've started trying to ignore them now by not interfering.

    God help us in this parenting journey.

    1. Just 6 and already so vile. Some kids are just evil. SMH.

    2. And tomorrow, some of our woke brethren will say that children can't be possessed.

    3. Where were the parents when the kids started the lies???

    4. It’s not possession anything.... it’s just bad behavior, that wasn’t curbed on time.

  11. I had a very yeye neighbor from way back who would fight with his wife for disciplining their son. Once the man is around, the boy misbehaves.

    1. The man is finished but he doesn't know. Shebi it's his surname the boy is bearing.

  12. Stella and the anonymous that said bad mother alert @ Stella , I don't think she was referring to you. I think she was responding to what BV tenth wrote above, since the comment came right under BV tenth's comment.
    But either way, she was wrong to have said that. It is outrightly judgmental, hypocritical and uncalled for.

    Biko forgive and let go.

  13. Hmm!anon 14:35,Children been protective of their mum is bad mother alert,odiegwu for u judginia

  14. Well I'm not married but based on what my parents did by supporting strangers over their own children...will never do that to mine no matter what. My parents are both alive but I will never be close to them. I respect them as my parents but that's where it ends. Will provide for them as I'm able to but will make sure they will never have a say in my home.

    1. Are you me? My parents chose outsiders over us. Even allowed them make decisions for us. It got better she but I am not close to my mom as dad is now late. They mean the world to me sha

    2. Same thing my Mum used to do. she will prefer to scold you in the presence of strangers. i hated her parenting style, will never use it for my kids.

  15. I don't think a child can come in between true love and a firm resolve to be married.
    A sick child,loss of a child can put a strain and eventually end a marriage but if a child's attitude or utterances ends a marriage, there might be underlying issues.

    1. My dear some spouses are not mature ooo.
      There was a time I went to see my hubby's relative..
      I have never told my baby anything negative about her.on getting there my daughter was just crying....
      We should leave..
      We should go home...
      She was so stiff...
      I kept trying to cover it...
      I felt embarrassed.
      She refused anyone shaking nor touching her.
      I stayed shorter than I had earlier planned.
      I told my hubby and he warned me never to take her there again...
      Only God knows what the relative said.
      I know they called my hubby and he shunned the talks.
      What if he did not and used that to cause an issue in the family.
      What if he allowed them to escalate it all...
      So some spouse are not just mature...
      Some do not know how to handle issues..
      Some their loyalty lies with their secondary family and use any excuse to hurt their spouse....

    2. True, a family friend who was SS, (he is late now) put a strain on his parents marriage. The love they had died, after several visits to the hospital.
      They separated after his death.

    3. Tenth, I was told that when I was a baby, I never allowed certain people to carry me - especially those from village. I would cry and scream till they left me alone and went away. Now I'm an adult, I'm the same except that I don't cry. Even when there doesn't look like anything is wrong physically or that someone has said bad about me, I walk into a room and can tell when something is off - even if I don't know what it is. I've walked into an office and before I could stop myself, I said, "Juju was buried here" and I actually pointed to the place. I had no natural reason to know. Till date, my MIL is terrified of me for that reason. She's a very dubious person - the guilty are always afraid even if you just greet them good morning. Her case isn't helped by the fact that my husband genuinely believes (after some occurrences) that I can read minds, I've told him that I really can't but he has decided to believe otherwise.

      Your daughter's spirit is very strong and it's for good. The fact that you didn't tell her anything but she's reacting so strongly - that in-law doesn't mean you well.

  16. If you know deep down that you're married to a reasonable man (and he's not wicked or abusive), allow him discipline the children he helped you bring into the world, oh! If not, you're the one that will suffer.

    I just SMH. Some of the nonsense we're seeing today is because of mothers who think they will die if the father of their own child/ren even talks. So, the man is just there to answer "father" but no real impact. Tomorrow, they will be running up and down looking for solution to non-existent spiritual problem cos of the child they didn't allow a father to discipline. Even if the man lives long enough to see the child grow up and get married, those types of mothers are the ones who won't let the grown child's spouse or marriage, be.

    Fgs! Women, allow your husband parent his child/ren! His job doesn't start and end with getting you pregnant and paying bills. Don't make your husband an absent father when he's physically present. A sane man can't kill his own child. But if you know you married an abusive or wicked man but you're still sitting there, your case is different.

    1. Some men still leave all responsibilities for the woman....

    2. Tenth, that's why I started with "if you know deep down that you're married to a reasonable man..." Reasonable men don't leave everything for a woman to do. My comment is not for those who know they are married to wicked and unreasonable men. They should check elsewhere for advice.

  17. One thing my parents never did was fight each other over discipline in front of us. In fact no hiding place and no secrets between them. If you fuck up for morning when popsie no de house, mumsie must tell popsie when he come back for night and Na popsie de discipline. My father never beat us on our bodies though. Just our hands. A united front in marriage is very important.

    Manipulative children will not be able to come in between you. Those children are not being wicked. They just see that you both don’t really like each other by fighting in front of them. So they try to protect the one that is always in their corner spoiling them. Don’t be surprised that it’s the parent the gist is told to that actively looks for the information from the child!

    Do better as parents and present a united front. Please women, don’t marry a man that delights in gossiping and getting information about you from whatever source he can. Those men are the worst! You will lose your marriage over a gossip with them!

    1. @Anno 15*56
      You are damp right at your last paragraph

    2. Making so much sense. Well delivered. No judgement just advice!!
      Great comment!!!!

  18. PLEASE Children do not cause a marriage to breakup. There are no Evil Children. Children are just that: Children! They are not emotionally mature enough to know when a manipulative adult, parent or relative, is asking them leading questions that will put another in a bad light! Children should not be made to bear the burden of helping their parents make their marriage work! What we need is for Adults to be Adults and take Responsibility for their lives and hold accountable the erring partner who 'quizzes' children in order to get the answers they want to hear in order to have an excuse to carry out actions they want to! I really am saddened at the way some are being quick to demonize children in order to justify the actions of adults who should know better.

    1. @Yhurmie you are absolutely right. Kids will remain kids.

    2. I absolutely agree with you. Where’s the room for discussion in all of these? A child says something about one parent, the other takes everything as the absolute truth. Tell me, is that one fit to be referred to as an adult? Make we leave matter.

    3. God bless you!!! I just read ‘possessed child’ up there and I’m like ‘whatttttttt?’ Nigerians need to take responsibilities. There are mothers who don’t discipline when their kids lie but you now want to complain cos he’s lying against you?

  19. My son was just 3 when he put me in trouble. My hubby had a very nasty sister and i was complaining to my mum about her. My son was playing with my phone and dialled hubby's number unknowingly. Hubby heard everything and concluded that i hated his entire family. It took the grace of God for things to go back to normal. What saved me was that some months later, she was extremely rude to him and they did not speak for about a year. Now, he even admits to me that she is nasty. Life has humbled her now. She is better than she used to be. Her unsolicited opinions have also reduced.

  20. Any wise woman or man that want the best for his or her child should not take side with the child when one partner is scolding the child, no matter what is going on between you and your spouse please for the good of your child don't do that. If you don't stop taking side with your child whilst the other partner is disciplining the child, you will be the one that will weep in your later years.if your partner is doing it the wrong way call him or her and talk privately but not in the presence of the child or children.

  21. I wish my Mom shielded me from my Dad's beating. Dunno if it's cos am d first born that's why he was too strict with me. My Dad don't flog with cane oh. He beat me like he's fighting with his mate. I remember a time wen I was learning sign language. One Sunday, i asked if I could go join for their meeting. He refused, i was upset and quietly walked to my room. All of a sudden he came to d room and started punching me that he didn't give birth to a deaf and dumb. This man damaged my face, locked me inside my room till d next day with no food. His constant beating was so bad that I automatically fall sick wen he's coming back from work. But even with all d beating, it was my Mom I blamed it on. She'll just be watching him beat me with a smile on her face. Any little mistake i make, she'll beat me and still report to my Dad. In fact she won't even wait for him to rest wen he's back from work and she'll start reporting and even add salt and pepper to it. Most times I wonder if am really her child.
    The last time my Dad beat me was 2 months to my wedding. I even ended up marrying someone i don't know (arranged marriage) and I couldn't say no cos i was scared he'll beat me to death ( he has chased me with a Cutlass once)and I know my Mom won't even stand up for me. Now am in a loveless marriage all because of my parents.

    1. So sad.
      May history not re peat itself again.

    2. Does your husband know you don't want to be married to him? He might be a good man and let you go if he knows you'd rather not be married to him. I truly hope you don't have children yet.

  22. Ah! That's so sad. But you have a choice to love your hubby....and to make your home a better one.

    That was a serious Child Abuse. it is normal at all.

  23. This issue almost caused a problem in my marriage sometimes ago. I had this weird idea that I was the only one who can discipline our kids.Anytime hubby scold the kids,I let my emotion get the best of me. There was a time, hubby beat our first son while I was at work, I came back and saw him crying profusely, I confronted my husband about it and told him not to ever discipline our kids without consulting me first. It turned to a serious misunderstading between us. Then I had a second thought about it, hubby love his children as much as I do. so where is all these idea coming from? now, I let him discipline his kids as long as he is not going overboard with it. We also keep each other is check when it comes to discipline. Now we join our voices together as parents to discipline our children. Two voices are even more powerful than one.

    1. I wouldn't know when I would give you a dirty slap... Infact that day you would point out the father of those children to me. Your parents must be ready to receive you back home


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