Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Wednesday, August 07, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmmmm.......






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...
DEALING WITH A SERIAL CHEATER...



Hi Stella,
You are doing a good job. I enjoy your blog daily cos of the chronicles ....

Now to my story I have been TTC since 2016 I got married. Now God has helped me am pregnant. My problem now is I just discovered hubby is a cheat...different girls ... 

To the point of kissing my neighbor. I discovered when i snooped. Am confused...Am broken...Both of them chat and exchange pictures. I need advise... 

This is someone who presently is down financially and am busy using my money to feed, run the house, fuel both car and generator. I need advice on what to do... I feel like paying him back ...
Pls hide my mail.




*Hmmm i really dont kno what to say....You said you snooped?The minute you snoop and find anything,there is no going back...I try to discourage people from snooping because i hate to give advice that points towards revenge.........

So what should i say now?Why do you wanna deal with him?Why not confront him subtly?

107 comments:

  1. You wanna pay him back? Since u are the technically d bread winner, you what to do with your money henceforth, don't be a mugu 😀😀😀 be wise with your money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly be wise with your money.

      Be wise!

      Delete
  2. Don't confront him.
    Save your money..pretend to be broke.
    Even in his broke state he still dey commit adultery.(double sin) mtcheew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear poster, don't pretend to be broke and don't confront him subtly. Do this instead; confront him on your discovery. When he gets annoyed you went to his phone, let him know from the day he took you to the alter, he gave you right to anything that concerns him hence his phone included. Tell him to his face, that henceforth you are saving the money you have left for the baby and yourself as you can't vouch for what he uses the one you give him to because he hasn't broken your trust. Tell him you will expect him to start supporting his the family again financially soo if his family is important to him. Sit him down and tell him all these; don't shout don't fight while you do this.

      Delete
    2. Please don't let this bitter girls confuse you breaking your marriage. Approach this with caution . some of them are not married and won't understand.

      Delete
  3. You're pregnant then you went on snooping spree on your husband.
    Hmmnn. ..Yourw just about to get a heart attack.
    Better face your pregnancy for now and leave the guy man alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You sound stupid as usual !!

      Delete
    2. I don't know why I feel so sorry for a woman that will marry someone like you whenever I see your comment and mindset towards women in relationship/marriage matter.

      Funny enough this may just be your alter ego forming badass on the internet. Meanwhile in reality you dey wash paent* for woman.

      Delete
    3. I pity the woman that will marry thus beast called Don, very useless guy.His comments towards women are always like this.From one hate to another. Phewww

      Delete
    4. Association of bittered and damaged souls. 😂
      No be me cause una problem

      Delete
  4. My own went back to sleep with his baby mama, the same woman that he told me and his parents that he will never marry even if am not in the picture because she sleeps around and she's violent. Only for him to go and sleep with her after our wedding. I want to end it all but him and his parents has been begging. I CAN'T FORGIVE HIM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. eyah okafors law caught up with your hubby..pls find a place in your heart to forgive him you've already signed to be with him..

      Delete
    2. once debe always debe .... no so Okafor talk am

      Delete
    3. DON'T FORGIVE!!! PLEASE LEAVE HIM NOW. It is one thing for him to cheat with a randomite or even sleep with a prostitute but to go back to his baby mama is the HIGHEST form of disrespect! Like he is EVIL. If you stay with him, you are in for hot soup. That man hates himself and hates you too. STOP GETTING MARRIED TO AFTER ONE MEN but you guys keep ignoring. Please sis close your eyes and file for divorce. See even if your next husband cheats it can never be as painful as your husband going back to his baby mama. So you know you can't lose. Run for him now!

      Delete
    4. Cool down and see if you can still patch the marriage. If not move on....just know most men and women cheat. The next man may be worse. If he is repentant stay and work it out......make him sweat small and demand something for restitution

      Delete
    5. Anon 15:09 as long as that woman is alive he will always cheat on you with her. They have a child together, he will use that excuse to always sleep with her. You put yourself in that love triangle, hope you don’t have a child with him yet? Just carry your legs and waka out of that marriage.

      Delete
    6. @15.09
      Eiyaa
      This reminds me of one..N.D...with a baby mama ..A.A...and a wife .I.O
      Well, cool down and see if you can patch your marriage , if you can forgive and if he wont go back to sleeping with the baby mama.
      Truth is baby mama will always be in your lives as the mother of his child. For the baby mama to have a kid, there surely was some love lost. Forget that gist of she is violent and all, he still plugged to get her pregnant a certain time. For her to keep the baby she does have a soft spot for him too.
      Not all baby mamas do this but some won't mind having sex with the father of their child or even having all their kids for 1 man. You wont fault her either..apparently she was in there before you.

      If he is unremorseful ..well the rest is up to you..you may just hear the line that he may not be faithful but he is loyal...it will be up to you figuring if that makes any sense.

      Delete
    7. I have to agree with this o. He will always cheat with her

      Delete
    8. So the shameless baby mama that's sleeping with a man who dumped her for another is exonerated?

      Delete
    9. @Fan, forget story , a child is more emotionally binding than a piece of paper and a ring. Once they have a child together, the baby mama sees him as her husband who was stolen by another woman. The horseband might have promised baby mama marriage too at some point!!

      Delete
  5. Stop snooping, you people won’t listen.
    Now you are hurt and planning on paying him back.
    What do you hope to achieve with your payback?
    What if it backfires?
    Focus on your pregnancy and stop helping out financially.
    Confront him with proof, I hope you munched the chats and sent to your phone?
    Don’t stress yourself and your baby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't mind her, instead of her to focus on her pregnancy, she's snooping around.

      Delete
  6. If what you mean by "revenge" is the steal "fork/kiss" with a neighbor,
    then you are on a suicide mission. Nobody will be in interested in your
    stories/reason when the chips are down. You would have used your hands
    to scatter your own home.
    Do this; tell him what you found out and keep quiet. Absolute 🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐
    And watch his behavior, remorseful or not. But I tell you, he will be remorseful.
    Again, after you have settled it all
    do re-organize your financial strategies/philosophy; "my money, his money"
    is a problem in marriages; you folks will never be truly one if you have separate
    finances. Study the Scriptures and see for yourself.
    What I did and I advise is, set your joint accounts to a withdrawal/expenditure
    limits -above which you receive alerts etc.
    You may not know how much parallel finances eat deep into the issue of trust and
    oneness in marriages.
    I don yarn finish o. Arrow shooters ngwanu; 🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You’ve come with your balderdash as usual. If she is the breadwinner how are their finances parallel?
      Closet misogynist. So the man used his toes to scatter his home abi? Or by cheating he made the house even stronger abi? Gerrarahere mehn!

      Delete
    2. I no understand this your advice todayooo. Now the man is shooting out sperm you are telling the woman to tell her husband and just keep quiet and continue waiting to know if he will be remorseful or not. You even went ahead to advise her of opening joint account with her husband so that the man will have access to the money he will be giving to his side chickens. This your advice up here is a surprise to me.

      Delete
    3. @Blessed and that arrow shooter
      If you people are waiting for me to tell women to "divorce their husbands", you will never hear that
      from me. The decision to marry or divorce a man is the prerogative of the woman involved.
      Yes, a woman can divorce the husband based on "marital unfaithfulness" Matthew 5:32 but it does not
      change the fact that "God hates divorce..." Malachi 2:16. What God has joined together, let nobody
      separate Matthew 19:6
      Just like when ladies present Mr. A, B, C...I will never advise a lady marry this or that. I fought
      against that in my own marriage journey if you've been reading me. Those pastors that hound a lady into
      that are wrongly putting them in bondage.

      I did not say that she should go ahead and create a "joint account" immediately. I wrote AFTER SETTLING THE PRESENT
      ISSUES. Yes, I hope and pray that they will settle it and not that "I want to revenge yarns"
      😊😊😊😊, if she revenges, she becomes unfaithful too, does that sort out any problems?
      Ajuju

      Delete
    4. Please poster don't take advice...Nne righteous how could you advice your fellow woman to have a joint account with a serial cheat. Please poster NEVER IN YOUR LIFE JOIN THAT CHEAT TO UR FINANCES.

      Delete
    5. @Candix
      You ended up not offering any piece of advice yourself? You are too obsessed by this your "nne righteous"
      Read again what I wrote; "after they have SETTLED THIS, she should re-strategize her financial philosophy..."
      In this marriage, these two are not one; are they? "settled it" means when they finally become "one". I wish
      you all will have a revelation of how beautiful and selfless marriage can be. It can be blissful if you wish to
      make it so. 😊😊😊😊😊

      Delete
    6. You are talking in circles.

      Delete
    7. Mtscheewww. Poster press ignore.

      Delete
    8. Anonymous 15:16, People like you always end up divorced because you think you have it all figured out.

      Be very careful else life will teach you humility. Ask Chizoba.

      KING XOXO MYSTERY

      Delete
  7. Finding out that the man you're faithful to is cheating can be so sickening & gut wrenching.

    With this discovery, the more you think about it, you'll be angry & thinking..the result is increased BP. I'll advice you go get your head & mind cleared. The more you see him, you'll resent him. God help you not to poison his food or break his head.

    But is there any man who doesn't cheat? Cheating is a deal breaker for me. You cheat, I find out, I talk a walk. I can't deal with unfaithfulness abeg.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Madam focus on your pregnancy. Trust me. It will give u strength to live on and if this marriage doesn't work u have u the baby to keep u going. Be wise financially but do not pay him back. GOD has a way of settling scores.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Save every cent you have. Be veryyyyy stingy and face your belle.. we will see if he will have the strength to be kissing neighbours when there's no food in the house.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My dear overlook that man before you develop bp in ur condition. Caution him to screen his forkmates b4 the do cos guyman will Neva change.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ignore him,stop giving him sex and focus on your baby.Never confront him.
    The only revenge is cutting him off financially and telling him you are saving for your baby.
    Sometimes leave the house for a weekend,dont drop a penny and switch off your phones,let him starve or go to his side chick's house to eat.
    Sometimes eat out and come back home pretending to be tired.Let him starve to bed.
    Thank God for blessing you with a source of income because if the reverse was the case,he would treat you worse!
    I hope you don't pray for his prosperity,pray for yours!
    See broke ass man wey dey mumu!
    Ingrate!
    Mtchewwww!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell him what?... he must not know anything about her finances from henceforth

      Delete
    2. This is the only better advice here o. Face your pregnancy and saaaaave like crazy for a rainy day. This man does not care if you and your baby starve. The time he should be spending hustling =, he is wasting on women. I won't be surprised if he is even spending on them sef. You need to be strong and of good courage. Put yourself first and STOP giving him money and stop running the home with your finances.

      Delete
    3. Veteran, where do I send your nkwobi n udeku to?....😁😁😁

      Delete
    4. Veteran, I’ve just sent you a pot of hot jollof rice to join Blackberry’s own. You talk truth jare!

      Delete
    5. Pink I know you are not married that why you spew this. This is tantamount to divorce. Poster if you don't love your marriage again take this . just know it is not rosy out there.

      Delete
    6. May God bless you soooo much for this advise. Awon ungrateful broke ass like Don

      Delete
  12. Let him know you found out what he did and then lock up with your money!

    ReplyDelete
  13. That was how I snooped and caught hubby telling his friend "that the girl fucked him like his wife" the friend asked him to give him the girl's contact. When I confronted him, he denied, said it's just a normal men's dirty talk. Said to myself see this one. I don't snoop again, but I keep reminding him that he is a cheat, that i can never trust him again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jeeezzz....The girl fucked him like his wife??!! God what sort of husbands are these!! May we never know them! May we never marry them!!!

      Delete
    2. Well it could be just talk to impress his friend d

      Delete
    3. Some times we do some dirty lies. Like recently I told a friend a girl has been to my house just to get his eyes off her.

      Delete
  14. Please don't stress yourself about that. Focus on taking good care of yourself and having your baby.. The Lord is your strength

    ReplyDelete
  15. Abeg keep your money to yourself. Useless man. You cannot feed yourself but you can carry woman. when he no longer sees money, how will he afford data to send nudes to his neighbour? Stupid man. Eat outside, buy take away for yourself, fuel ur own car and keep the key inside your bra. Don't pay for cable. Don't buy anything. Be looking at him. When you're ready, ask him why he is behaving like a fool. Biko don't use the word 'fool' o. You don't know the state of his mind. Let him not use u as punching bag. A broke, hungry man is an angry man. Pray

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. " keep the key inside your bra"Chai!!!🙆

      Delete
  16. Why is his broke prick having erection?
    Somebody's husband was lamenting of not having sexual urge because he's broke..why can't all broke men be like that BV?

    Sis, cut him off. Imagine the audacity!

    ReplyDelete
  17. There is nothing wrong in snooping, it's better one snoops to know when to be very careful, that's how some people will be doing am no team snoop and @ the end of it all gets infected with orishirishi disease

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you. Team no snoop means living in blissful ignorance. The thing about blissful ignorance is that what you dont know will kill you. Your husband sleeps around and gives you one kind disease. Keep doing team no snoop

      Delete
  18. Imagine how the charade would have played out if she did not find out? She would have continued feeding, fueling gen on top a man who is broke but is servicing the whole community. I am not against helping a man who is down but hell no to help a man who can't keep his penis in check even in broke state. So my dear, that your money you are using to run that place for a man who is kissing neighbour(lord knows what else he has kissed there) put it away for better use. To secure the life of your kid to come. I repeat save those money for ur kid!!!!!!! He does not respect u. For God's sakes a neighbour?!
    And stop any sexual activity for you and your baby's sake. Since 2016 God has blessed you, do not let any man/neigbour/sidechickens ruin your joy. U waited for this. Do not forget your money sis! Keeep it!!!
    And pray tooo! It will help you when you are being overwhelmed with emotions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why are you women always stingy with your husband pennis,he pennis na part of he body...

      Delete
    2. Thank you ooo. You've mirrored my thought.
      Poster CLOSE both your LEGS and ACCOUNT.
      Useless man still finding time to cheat, the height of disrespect, sleeping/flirting with a neighbour!
      This too shall pass, put on your thinking cap and act like you have no husband for now.
      I hope he eventually depends.

      Delete
  19. STOP giving him money. You have a wandering stick for a husband. Broke man cheating with multiple women.

    Save your money for yourself & your unborn child, because you are in the relationship all by yourself.

    Make sure you let him & everybody that cares to listen know that he's not providing for his family. No more hiding his shame.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Tell him you know, then focus on your health and pregnancy. His attitude going forward will help you know your next steps.

    God forbid you die, he will marry another wife before the year runs out. Just saying.

    And remember, NEVER FIGHT THE SIDE CHICKS

    ReplyDelete
  21. Madam, how do you intend to pay him back?
    Are you thinking of cheating on him with your pregnancy?

    Please, take it easy on yourself, protect your unborn baby and keep yourself safe.

    Stop paying for everything in the house, stop fueling his car, stop fueling the generator, stop paying the bills.
    I will not say you should stop cooking, I was taught never to punish anyone with food no matter their offence.

    Tell him you aware of his adulterous activities, tell him to stop and threatened him.
    Make sure you protect yourself and your baby from STDs and STI.

    I wish you strength and courage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 100%. I tried the not spending on him but it never works dear poster. That's why he still loves you and there's harmony in the house. Whenever I hear feminism, this is what I think of. I don't think it matters which gender is the breadwinner anymore. As long as they are sensible and loving. Just pray that God continues to bless you so much, you don't feel what you're spending on him. And keep this to yourself. Nobody needs to know who is feeding who. Unless he's earning well and just being stingy. The only problem i envisage now is how to protect yourself from STIs. And you've found out he's capable of cheating so you need to stop snooping for your own sanity. Most men cheat.

      Delete
    2. KEEEP YOUR MONEY AND STOP SPENDING ON HIM!!! Such men actually secretly resent women that do such as it makes them feel emasculated hence the infidelities to punish you and make himself feel like a guy man. Once you stop with the spending him eye go clear fiam

      Delete
    3. Anon 16.34 Gbam! Your head is too correct.

      Delete
    4. Poster do not spend your time on him till further notice. In fact, open a fixed account that you can deposit a good sum into every month lest you get tempted to form helper of the helpless.
      I have zero problem with sharing bills with my husband but will not spend shishi on a man that has chosen to ruin his family with his own hands. No way!! My mama didn't raise me for suffer.

      Delete
  22. I support snooping. Especially when there's poor communication or when sudden strange and questionable behaviours start. After all, it's OUR phone. And he owes me a duty of FIDELITY in the marriage. I have a right to know if he's breaching it to the detriment of my health and sanity!

    That was how my friend's dad infected her mum with HIV. the man was regularly taking his drugs and looked healthy. But the woman wasn't aware. She knew he was seen around town riding with different women but she continued to be quiet and humble and loyal. Meanwhile, she catered for the whole family, fed this man and treated him like a king and slaved for his mean family members.

    She passed in UBTH, swollen and smelly. Her children couldn't take it. My friend was estranged from her dad for years, until his health starred rapidly deteriorating.

    The man remarried less than a year after his wife's passing. Only God knows how the new woman escaped the virus (or did she?). One of the man's children (it was actually my friend) told her about his status. She was furious. The man has since died - about five years after my friend's mum. The new woman is now remarried to her ex-husband (whom she was estranged from when she met my friend's dad).

    It's a crazy world man. Infidelity is a major deal-breaker for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous you are very right, infidelity has destroyed a lot of families.... The insatiable nature of greedy men and women keeps destroying their lives and the lives of their loved ones.

      I also knew a family that both the man and his wife died of hiv/aids, nobody really knew how they contracted the virus. There were numerous rumors about the man and also about the woman... They were both cheating and they destroyed the foundation of Holy Matrimony.
      Their kids ran away from Nigeria, I mean all of their five kids because they couldn't stand the stigma. They abandoned their parents 🏡.
      That was then when people were still ashamed of stigma, nowadays people who claim to be enlightened are the ones opening their legs up and down without considering the numerous consequences.

      May God continue to keep us.

      Delete
    2. Hypocrites......una wey dey fear HIV, why una no dey preserve virginity for your husbands? Why sharing and distributing Toto up-and-down before marriage?? Miss sanctimonious too goodie shoes!!!

      Delete
    3. Na this kind loyal wife Don like even when infidelity is involved.

      Delete
  23. On a serious note whether you snoop and find out or find out in some other way. How do you sleep with hubby again. I mean when a careless man sleeping with careless women, he can even bring back HIV whoch can kill someone, recurrent HPV that can cause throat, lung and throat cancer, herpes that could be passed onto the baby and is painful, chlamydia that can cause infertility ( and the same man will turn around snd call his wife useless), gonorrhoea ( can lead to blindness in the child). How does one go on with the marriage, do you stop having sex with your husband and face your kids and allow him cheat, have sex with him with condom and take Prep ( anti- HIV med), have sex with condom or have sex with him as normal and trust in God. My marroed ladies with husbands who are chronic cheats, or who have cheated before but have shown remorse how did you continue with the marriage. I am not judging, Marriage is sacred and I really would like your responses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are not judging my dear, you are stating the facts that some people have refused to consider.

      Nothing worse than a pregnant woman risking her life and the life of her baby or maybe babies.
      We see all the time Babies born with different kinds of health issues and I sometimes wonder how..

      Women please love yourselves and love your unborn babies, don't put the live of an innocent baby in jeopardy.

      Delete
    2. Hmmmmm, I will tell my story someday on this blog.

      Poster, your story is quite pathetic but trust me, it's child's play compared to mine. One thing I can tell you for now is to be strong for you and your unborn child. Never, I repeat NEVER joke with your source of income. Your financial stand is your voice!

      Delete
  24. Snooping is life, its a good thing yoi found out as a stitch in time would save you from diseases but you must calm down so that you don't develop HPB. Your pregenacy is all that Matters now...

    Nevertheless,
    Withdraw every financial benefit he is enjoying

    Sit his broke ass down and tell him your mind straight up at midnight then hand him over to God

    ReplyDelete
  25. Don’t tell him you snooped. He’ll become more careful with his phone. If you still want the marriage just find a fun way to bring up the conversation as if it’s not about him
    Let him know again that you don’t condone cheating. You don’t how men cheat on their pregnant wives.,.,that even kissing his cheating and it’s bad to return good with evil
    If he says what’s bringing that up, say you’re just talking about something you read on a blog. Watch him for a few days and see if he tries to behave better. Sometimes it’s brdtter to meld someone feel he got away with it this time instead of saying I know you did me wrong. Just keep what you know to yourself and let him also fix himself and say thank God she didn’t find oout I better stop

    Doesn’t work for all but try it first

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why must women pander to men even when they are clearly wrong. Why cant a woman be angry. Abeg poster react how you want to react as far as it does not bring grave consequences

      Delete
    2. She can be angry if she wants. I’m just saying that’s what I would do. I’m not going to tell my msn I know he cheated if I plan to stay with him. Once you know and he knows you know and you stay then to me oh it’s like you’ve accepted his way

      Delete
  26. Sweetheart, please calm down. It's only a natural reaction to want to get even with your hubby but you don't need that negative energy right now. You are pregnant with his child. Pregnancy is both a physical and spiritual occurrence. You carry within you another life, a precious soul. Not only should you eat healthy for the sake of your baby, you should try to keep your spirit man healthy as well. Stay spiritually sound and alert. Hatred and unforgiviness should be far from your heart.

    That's life, it throws curve balls once in a while. You have to tap into your inner strength, that strength possessed by every woman, and keep it together. As horrible as the betrayal is, know that there are many ladies who went through something similar or worse, and they are still standing. They dealt with the pain and became stronger. Darling, marriage isn't meant for the faint hearted. You can't always react the way you want to. The tit for tat mentality shouldn't be brought into marriage.

    My main concern is how you can carry this pregnancy to term and birth a healthy baby. Personally, I don't believe in snooping but if you choose to, as a caveat, be sure you have the balls and the stamina to withstand whatever you discover. Darling, now that you are this upset, you have to start learning how to calm yourself down. Hypertension during pregnancy kills faster than a moving train. I don't know the dynamics of your relationship with your hubby. If he is the reasonable type that you can have a decent conversation with, have a talk with him. It will lighten your burden. If he is the erratic type, don't talk about it before it escalates and gets physical.

    Channel all your energy and your money to the wellbeing of yourself and your baby. I know it's not easy but, please, keep your thoughts pure and positive. Ask God to give you the grace not to harbour bitterness in your heart towards your husband. When your angel arrives, by God's grace, you will have a clearer mind and headspace to decide the best way forward. I wish you a pleasant experience throughout your pregnancy and a safe delivery.
    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless for this piece of advice!

      Delete
  27. I will NEVER sleep with a man (husband) who cheats on me. Lord! I can tolerate anything but cheating. I'm sorry but you are leaving my house that day. I will just allow you to go to work and then change the locks. Thank God I live in a country where man leaves the house and not the other way round and I have my own money too. The thought of my husband inside another person's pu***even gives me chill.

    I have my husband's everything password, phone, email, social media, atm card. I ask again, why won't you have your partners password? Are you guys in a marriage or Sth else?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pls having his passwords don't mean shit. Some men now keep their cheating phone with security guards or at the office. Every woman should just save money and prepare for the worst. Majority of those people ain't loyal.

      Delete
    2. Because you don’t need to know what he’s discussing with everyone

      Delete
    3. Dauntless - 💯😘

      Delete
    4. That's why 95% of Nigerian men are sole providers, the bread winner should dictate everyevery until everybody go get equal sense for this country.

      Delete
  28. Tell your husband that you know, still give him food if you cook in the house, but stop giving him money. He should man up to his responsibilities, maybe if he was thinking of how to buy fuel for his car and the Gen he won't have time to be following women.

    Take care of your baby; and yourself in this condition, and keep your money, you will need it.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Please poster for the safety of your baby focus more on your pregnancy. Please stop fueling his car and take care of yourself and save for raining days. You ain't providing and still have the effrontery to cheat.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Snooping is a double edged sword - one wants to know the truth, but doesn’t know what to do when the truth is unpalatable.
    The next course of action is clear cut:
    1) decide if you are going to stay or leave; if you are going to forgive or not
    2) if you decide to leave, fair enough, you have been wronged. You should also consider that you may always ask yourself if that decision wasn’t hasty, especially in the early days when you may miss his companionship or when you will go through the motions of child birth and child care alone.
    3) if you decide to stay, know that you can’t change a man, only God can.
    If you stay, I would suggest that you don’t make things easy for him, until he opens up his mouth to apologize sincerely. If you just accuse him, shout, cry and move on like you are over it, he wouldn’t have spent any energy seeking your face. Then he will go on as usual knowing that you can do nothing. What ever you think you will do to show your anger and (more importantly) which will touch him, do it e.g snubbing him, just not caring about his existence, reporting him, suspending sex till he takes all manner of tests till he feels like dirty tissue paper, etc until he apologizes sincerely. All these should be in the short term.
    I won’t lie, if you want the marriage to work in the long term, the best thing you can do is to take it to God in prayer, only He can change a man.
    Pls I know soon you will be adviced to knack this and knack that or get a side kick, my advice is don’t; no man on earth is worth you submitting yourself to demonic powers and adultery, no one. Somethings should always be beneath you.
    I wish you well.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Nigerian women and suffering. Nonsense! I can't deal biko! such disregard! sleeping with other women and even your neighbor! I know you will go fight the other woman but leave your hubby who is the enemy here. I hate our society because no one will advise that you leave such marriage, no one will consider your own peace of mind on this situation, no one will talk about STDs, HIV and unwanted pregnancy that your Hubby's cheating may result to. I hate the fact that you will still stay in the marriage and bare more kids! I hate that you will be advised to face your pregnancy and act that nothing happened while you die silently of heartbreak! Who will put your interest first in such situation? everyone will advise that your husband is a 'man' and so you should let go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear. Nigerians don't talk about Stds which is what mainly leads to cancer. I got herpes from boyfriend now i feel like my life is finished

      Delete
    2. Na naija we dey. If she divorce am na another mgbeke go marry am!
      Second anon. You should have kept your virginity for your husband. Now see your life??

      Delete
    3. I left my marriage of 12 yrs bcos sparks died. Then i realised my smelly pussy stopped snelling, i dont treat it anymore, could i have been constantly infected due to sleeping with that man? Na wa. End of a marriage isnt the end of the world people.

      Delete
  32. poster please don't confront him, just save your money, that man doesn't respect your feelings. just take things easy until you birth your baby, then you decide what to do about the marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Poster please,

    You are pregnant and no matter what you feel now, this child is number one. A lady I know was so stressed by her husband during pregnancy that she lost the child at seven months. This will never happen to you in Jesus name. You will give birth to a healthy child, Amen. You must pray as if your life depends on it and talk to someone who you trust. Then you have to detach emotionally from him for now because this is a testing time for you. Think beautiful thoughts about what is inside you. At this time you need support from a trusted family member or friend.

    However, you must stop paying all those bills. It's not to punish him, it's for him to go and find a way to contribute what is expected of a spouse irrespective of the cheating. Get ready for the threats from him if you stop with the money. Never let anyone blackmail you. Some men use vulnerability such as pregnancy to play mind games.

    Regarding confronting him, it's up to you. Cry if you need to but calm down be realistic and plan. What do you want for your future and how can you cope? That is how you can decide whether you can stay with a (serial) cheating spouse or not. There are always heated and differing views by Nigerian women on staying with cheating spouses but I believe that no size fits all. This part is personal and your decision alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It might be it might not be the stress. Heck my fiend was beyond stressed and fighting her man daily. Baby was still like that’s your own I’m jejely here

      Delete
    2. Anon 18.38 And your point is? Stress and fighting kills people daily talk less of a pregnant woman. High blood pressure is one of the leading causes of death of black women apart from heart disease. Now add pregnancy join. Abeg.

      Who fight epp? People need to put that energy into loving themselves and walking away. Not fighting pls.

      Delete
  34. Please poster your pregnant, avoid anything that will make you think, you need to act broke too.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I suggest all women and men go in for STI checks and specifically ask for Herpes and HPV to be checked. They can both lay dormant in your body for years without symptoms and before you know it develops into cervix and other cancers and by then it will be untreatable. They both have no cure but it's better to take precaution These men are filthy. May God help all of us

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Herpes doesn’t cause cancer Moron.

      Delete
  36. Whatever you do, DO NOT CHEAT. Don't become bad because of a bad person. Adultery is an evil spirit, don't be trapped in it.

    But, don't sweep it under the carpet. Diseases and infections are flying up and down.

    Ask God for wisdom on how to confront
    him and what to do afterward.

    It's well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Your husband has an unrenewed mind for him to think that kind of filthy conversation is normal for a married man. We should be careful about the kind of men we marry. Many of these men really don't believe in marriage. They just marry for marrying sake. The duties and responsibilities of a spouse - they could care less. Respecting the sanctity of marriage nko? They don't have the faintest idea.
    You don't have the power to change him. Only the Holy Spirit can. I hate to say this but pray for him. Commit his heart to God. Don't seek vengeance. Vengeance is the Lord's. Another thing is we women have to be close to God so he can help us fight and win our battles. It's not every battle we can fight because if you fight sin with worldly weapons, you will lose. The most important thing now is your peace of mind for your sake and your baby. No devil working through any man has the right to steal your peace. Forget him now and take care of yourself. You can't make wise decisions with a disturbed mind. Report Him to God and watch how everything unravels yo your amazement. We shouldn't know God and be living a defeated life.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Nothing pisses me off more when a lady takes care of a guy cos he is broke n she is complaining but when he had he took care of the family. This is the 21st century with privileged feminists. He is your guy. When things are down support him like he did when he was up. If you love money more than him why did u marry him. The issue of him cheating is wrong but dont make it sound like u feeding him is now a favor. You guys are one so resources should be used for the good of the family not minding who is bringing it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the reason why their yeye fight no dey go anywhere. They want to eat their cake and still have it.

      Delete
  39. Poster the best way to deal with your husband is to stop giving him money, never you confront him about what you saw, act like nothing is happening. If you don't have what to do with your money fix it in bank for your children. Never you allow his attitude to give you high blood pressure. A man that is not loyal to you shouldn't enjoy your money.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hmm. Maybe he is the reason you were TTC for so long.

    Please avoid sex with while you're pregnant before he brings you a disease that can harm your pregnancy. Take it easy while you're pregnant, make plans for your new baby, stop funding your husband for now because the baby might have only you to rely on.

    Safe delivery

    ReplyDelete
  41. Poster,check yourself. are you sure you have not pushed him into this by your arrogance?
    I went anonymous make una no fire my smooth nyash

    ReplyDelete

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