Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Sunday, August 04, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE GIRLFRIEND WHO HATES COOKING......


Greetings to you dear Stella.

`
Well, my Chronicle is about my girlfriend.
She doesn't like cooking. She told me earlier when I was toasting her that she does not like cooking.
She is the only daughter and she has a brother. She is currently living with her parents.

She said she only cooks maybe once in two weeks. In one of the chats, she said


If you are around, cook.
If I'm around, I cook.
If you're tired, I cook.
If I'm tired, you cook.
There are days we'll both be tired and can't do anything, that's fine. We'll find an alternative.
If both of us are around, we cook together.

I am not looking for a slave or a maid.
Her current mindset is that she can't wake up to make breakfast for the family because she is a woman. I took permission from her before sending this.


I told her that should we marry, I will always help out in the kitchen.
She is extremely generous and kind. She loves me and I love her too. But this idea of disliking cooking isn't cool. Please her place is not in the kitchen. Her mom cooks for her Family. Yet she doesn't want to cook for our own Family when we start


I haven't chopped cookie o as we are team no sex before marriage. I don't even intend to chop.
I need opinion from BVs and your red pen biko.



*Hmmmmmmmmm my dear dont bother yourself..time is a teacher and a healer...if she cant cook for you,she will cook for the kids without being told or begged to do so......Tis mndset she has will change in a few years!!!

108 comments:

  1. Stella dishing it hot hot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shun that babe joor, how will a woman says she doesn't like cooking? It's samething as a man saying I don't like taking care of my family. Yes, I'm a man and it gives me joy and serious happiness when I see the reason I'm working ,I work for my family, I go to work at 5am and come back 7pm almost everyday and all the money I make goes to taking care of my wife and kids and I just enjoy doing it, so why won't a woman enjoy cooking for her family? The smile on my family face when. I get them something or book summer trips is just priceless it gives me the energy to not get tired of working and same way I think a woman should be happy seeing her family eat her food. She is just a lazy girl. Cooking is the least a woman can do for her family. Something that wont take more that 30mins ,but she can watch a 2h30mins movie? I cook and cooking to. Me is an art. It comes with a lot of creativity.women should stop seeing it as a punishment, it's fun to cook ask does girls that do it and they will tel you. Thank

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    2. As Stella said she will change when the kids come unless she wants her kids to go hungry.

      I love cooking; it is my hobby.

      I am a professional that works in the corporate world and I LOVE COOKING. I love learning new food from scratch master it and cook it always. I can cook everyday after work no problem.

      My son loves my cooking he says mummy you are the best cook in the whole world haha. Zeelious foods on YouTube changed my jollof rice game.

      Last week my son said he wants rice and stew I cooked jollof rice when I told him he burst into tears because he wanted rice and stew abeg I Don taya for this 4 year old child o. We live in the UK too lol

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    3. My pastor got married in 1998, till today, he washes his family's clothes. My dad is in late 60s, he washes his clothes and bedsheets from the 80s dt he got married to my mum till now.

      Marriage is more than chores,If u see problem and real wahala, u will prefer sleeping in office than going home..

      If u can't stand it and cooking is one of the main thing that is important to u in marriage , I will advise that u leave her and look for someone dt can and will cook, cos dt lady will not change after giving birth. She will look for a maid dt will do the cooking after giving birth..

      Guy face reality,If u see a lady dt will do chores for u before marriage, career progression and other things can make them to stop after marriage, unless u want full time housewife.
      If that is her only problem,stick with her.marriage is nt easy ooo., try visit igbosere magistrate , u go know whatsup

      Delete
    4. I'm in the poster's babe's WhatsApp grp. So lemme read comments. 😎

      Delete
    5. Listen to what she is telling you. Do not bank on her changing after marriage. I have 2 male friends whose marriages are in crisis because their spouses told them something they wouldn’t tolerate and they went ahead thinking it wasn’t that serious only to find out that it was. This is why it’s important to have and take these conversations seriously before marriage. Please don’t try to change her . If it’s s big deal for you let her go. There is a man out there for her and a chef out there for you.

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    6. How old is your girlfriend. Is she btw 21/23. I had a cousin like this that hated anything kitchen..even though her sisters and mum are fantastic cooks. She hated cooking and domestic stuff. And becos she's very beautiful again she felt she's doing men a favour.
      Later in her 30s while searching for husband, Her mindset changed o. She doesn't even live in Nigeria now so no domestic help. When I go to her house there is always food and always clean,kids are well cared for.
      I really don't know the switch that changed her. Maybe she just grew up. Which mother will watch her kids not eat ? When you are not sick. Even if you don't like cooking for husband,you must feed your kids. It is a given.

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    7. I don't hate cooking neither do I like it. I know a lot of married women around me that hate cooking. But guess what? I cook and they cook. Don't lose a good woman because she does not like cooking, when she gets to that bridge she will cross it or will she watch her family starve and fold her arms?. I cook about 4 times a week. Sundays I take a break. My husband makes fantastic English breakfast.

      In the evenings, we just eat anything maybe chips and chicken or a left over food in the fridge.

      Then again she doesn't have to cook everyday if she plans well. Monday I cook yam porridge and keep the left over. Tuesday I cook beans and fry plantain. Wednesday I could cook jollof rice.I also cook double the portion so there are left overs I keep in the fridge.

      Thursday and friday, I just warm some of the foods I cooked earlier in the week and we eat. Cooking can be tiring at times.

      So please talk about it, reach a compromise and all the best.

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    8. There is no man that will like a woman that can't cook. I know of a man that says he doesn't mind his wife not cooking, but guess what.he is always going to his brothers house to ask the wife for food.

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    9. I left my marriage cos of the expectations of chores that come from a woman. I prefer to live with my kids. I do fast food for them, and i rest well now. Men are shit, expecting you to do everything, including sharing bills. Now am dating a man, see him like few times a week, just relaxing and living my life. What a needed break. Phew

      Delete
  2. If deep within you, you know u can't compromise, man up and tell her now, not years down d line u get fed up just in case she doesn't change...just in case.

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    Replies
    1. He mentioned 'she is generous'.

      Are you with her cos of her financial status? The reason you are considering something which you don't agree with 😒

      Delete
    2. One igbira man who married a woman like your babe is now living a life filled with regrets.
      Breakfast is malt and indomie. She wakes by 10am.
      He takes care of the kids and eats takeaways #endtimebride

      Women pretend before wedding. If she is saying this now, get ready for more surprises later

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    3. Exactly. She has been upfront and honest. Over to you poster.

      Delete
    4. Correct yarns @Blackey
      How you dey today na?
      Make you yarn me na?
      🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

      Delete
  3. Is she working. With the good economy in Nigeria I advice people to marry someone who has something doing. God bless this. The way I manage 5k in a month. God help me

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  4. You must be seyi of bigbrother naija!
    🤣😂🤣

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  5. Stella your red pen doesn't apply to all. I know a friend's wife who has refused to cook even now that they have children. She only cooks on weekends and the rest of the days, her husband buys food for himself and the kids while she eats from town before getting home from work.

    Poster I won't advise your girlfriend to change her stance as you can equally cook everyday if you want cooked meal everyday or employ a cook. Stop saying you will help her in the kitchen. You can make the cooking your main duty too and she in turn helps you. How about that? Men like you with this entitled mentality is one of the things wrong with society.

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    1. Don't mind him, saying "I will be helping her out".like he is doing her a favour...If she cooks won't you eat out of it,nor is it for her mouth alone? Expect her to be doing the cooking always, if she plans on being a stay at home mom, but if she would also go to work like you then her suggestion about who ever is around is the best solution. To think you even brought it here shows your backward mentality.taking acre of the kids cooking and all should be something both wife and husband attend to. But is it not Nigeria again? The men expect their wives to cook, take care of the home and be a working class lady at the same time, while the only thing they do is just go to work come back home and cross leg in front of the television. Who do you want to kill? You think cooking everyday coupled with other duties is child's play?Go and read up on " egalitarian marriage". That's what your girlfriend wants.

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    2. Anon: just shut up,dont make it seems that easy, the man that crosses his leg is doing so because he has provided. He can't provide and perform duties. Why don't you suggest both contribute equally for a cook and equal share in domestic work as well as equal share in financial issues? Quick to call out Nigeria men and praise abroad men, but for get to add that abroad men don't expect to buy you a car, phone, hair or drinks, but Nigerian man does.

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    3. 17:02 you are naive. You think only men that provide don’t help at home. There are men that don’t bring anything and still sit for madam to cook

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    4. @17:02...you shut up. Women are bread winners in most Nigerian homes, forget about the few rich men we read about. The truth is, most Nigerians are poor. A Nigerian woman will easily go out,and hawk, but most Nigerian men will comfortably stay home for their wives to feed them, if they dont find their dream jobs. These men still expects the woman to do all the house chores. The working class women, who contributes to Bill's, the men still expect them to do all, or most of the house chores. Some of these men will use u till u collapse, if u dont fight for yourself. That poster's wife is only fighting for herself. She should share the Bills, and u only "help" with chores and cooking? Did they born her for u? Mtcheew

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    5. 18:01 get a better shut up. Is it by force to marry? If Nigerian men are like you said that means your dad and brothers were or are taking care of by their wives and your mom. Poster fighting for what right? Is it by force to marry? If you can't do a family then stay alone and do as you like. You want to give your lazy self on people. Yeye sabi smell for una head, Nigerians always comparing failure.we are talking of a standard home where both husband and wife should be responsible or stay single. You are busy talking of failed men and comparing it with a failed woman. Don't you have standard?

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    6. 18:01 one more thing if you keep up with this your mentality, your kids will no love you o! When growing up we could not wait for weekends, because my mom makes special food weekends. Minus meat pie, cakes and other Yum yum she does o! I so love her so so much, her soul is surly resting in peace. I love you mama. I enjoyed growing up in that house. Thank you so much sweet mother and thank you daddy for providing for us. God bless you both. Amen!!!!!

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    7. 20:38 your kids will love you if you show them love your way. I talk of my mums cooking. My friend talks about Sunday after mr Biggs outing and Disney world. It’s all relative. Show attention. Make sure they are fed and your kids will love you
      I honestly wished my mother cooked less. As a girl in Naija, mummy cooking means all the girl kids are in the kitchen too. I would have preferred less of that

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  6. Lol “her mom cooks for her family yet she doesn’t want to cook for her own family”. You don’t think you feel entitled to her cooking? All this I cook she cooks but deep down you “expect” it of her.

    As far as I’m concerned people make a big deal out of these things. When the time comes, “food or who cooks” would be the least of your problems because you’d somehow find a way when it comes to food and not starve to date. Also about waking up to cook breakfast, are you implying that if she has a 9-5 she has to wake up every morning and cook before work? I don’t think you people consider “reality” when dishing out your expectations. I, personally do not cook because I’m only feeding myself and I don’t see myself waking up every morning before work to cook in the future. What I can do at best is prepare a variety of meals on weekends and bring them out in the mornings or whatever time of day as the case may be or hire a chef. This life is not for sufferhead, all this who should cook debate should be left for the women of old who didn’t know better. This is 2019 dammit, wake up!

    Live and work in Lagos, wake up 5am to get ready for work. Trust me, food won’t even be on your mind but how to beat traffic. See guy, I hate slavery. If you think you’d get someone who is an all rounder in all aspect then you’re not ready. She loves you, you love her and this is the only issue you have but you’re here seeking advice? Abeg.

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    1. Dopple,marry first and start giving birth...your mouth go change words.Ask married women how they feel when their husbands reject their food talk more of wen a beautiful side chick starts cooking for you and u gat to find out. Poster if you can't cope,abeg find another babe.Are you even sure she can cook appetizing food???

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    2. But poster, there are women that genuinely know how to cook and love cooking. Why not look for someone like that, because it is obvious that cooking is important to you. If you don't sort this out now it could cause problems in future. It is not best to force people to do what they don't want to do, except they change their minds themselves.

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    3. Wow@diet. You are so backwards, and u are the reason why some of these men think they have done a woman a favour by getting married to them. I'm married, and I work. When I get home tired, I dont cook, and I never wake up early to prepare breakfast, like is my husband a child?. My hubby cooks, when he has to. Who cries these days if a man doesn't eat?, lmfao. I so weep for the times of our mothers. These women really suffered. How can u treat a grown ass man like a kid? Most enlightened men do not like women with your kind of mentality. Una go stick with your fellow Bush men...

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    4. Dietitian Nezz, please if your husband is not too busy send him my way inugo? Once it comes to relationship topic, everyone is quick to remind me to “get married first”. That message is tired and needs to be retired. No one tells you to die first before talking on death topics.

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    5. Your comments about marriage amaze me most times! Yes,marriage is different from boyfrnd n gfrnd rshp!,better go and learn how to cook..you don't talk out of experience but from internet or books.Go and listen to Bimbo Olukoya tapes about marriage.

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    6. Dietitian Nezz, please be quiet and it’s Bimbo Odukoya of blessed memory. If this is your best retort after all the tapes you’ve listened to then I am not interested. I guess you didn’t date your husband but met him one day and landed in his house as his designated life cook, good for you but keep that far from me sweetheart. You married people always want to force down your warped knowledge of marriage on people you believe are “single” off your single experience, focus on the chronicle and not me or my opinion which I’m entitled to. If cooking is a chore I have to do as a married woman then I would just employ you when that time comes innit? Rubbish talk.

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    7. Anon 18:08 and madam dope you both sound d like broken record, you both forgot the topic here. Oga say how him go do with this him babe way no like to cook.the advise is simple leave her and look for who can. She will find a man that wants her like that and you too will do d a girl you want. People should stop forcing others to live their way. Anon you that wake by 5 and close late.so you can't work at home. Do you contribute 50/50 with oga? If you don't then you are selfish. You want kill your husband. Be their fooling your self, your husband go soon get your replacement.as you dedicate your life to work hope you go work till you die. I'm sure your the one provide anyway. See who they call others local. Is house wife a Nigerian word or English? White women you claim to copy do all this things you hear. No so unattractive copy Christianity come do am pass oyinbo, same as corruption and prostitution copy come pass USA slave masters.

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    8. @20:50, see as u are saying "replace" like women are some kind of object lol. Marriage is not a do or die, so if me not cooking every day is what will make oga "replace" me, let him. Lmfao. I will gladly "replace" any man who I share the bills with, but expects me to cook, and clean alone 😁😁😁😁😁😁. What's the importance of being married, if I have to share bills, and still do every house chore by myself? This won't be marriage again ooo, na slavery be Dat.

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  7. you are not married yet and you are seeing the signs...chronicles are better sent b4 marriage than after marriage

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  8. Not true Stella
    Let him cook too. Some women don’t cook in marriage. The husbands cook for the kids and no one has died yet. If you love her, stay with her. Let her cook what she can , you cook what you can and order out the rest. I know a 65 year old man whose wife doesn’t cook. Guess what the man has peace and the children have grown up happy and useful to themselves and society
    They fed them and they are good

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    Replies
    1. judging from the text she sent you, I don't see anything wrong with that oga. You are just scared cos you can't cook as well. She said if you are around, you cook and if she is tired, you cook. Whats wrong with that poster???it's not like she can't cook, she just doesn't like cooking. If she can do other things aside cooking I don't see any problem with that. if you enter the kitchen and cook will you die???? Mtchewwww better throw that stupid mentality away and let her be. Lazybone!!! I wonder how women cope with men that can't cook. mtchewwww

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  9. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars4 August 2019 at 15:22

    I agree with SDK. But here is the thing,there might be a lot of fights and disagreement when the time comes over this.
    This your arrangement is funny, it will become real when you two are living together. While you are not looking for a cook it is the woman's place to prepare food for the family.

    Her mom didn't enforce it while she was growing up otherwise it wouldn't have been an issue.

    Is her mom in the know about this?

    I enjoy cooking for my family whiley hubby helps out here and there and takes us out some times.

    The place of the woman is to make sure "food"is available for the family.

    If she is not doing it now it might be difficult to change. She needs to start adjusting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It’s not the pace of the woman to make sure food is available. That’s the tradition most have accepted. But nothing says you have to go with it. I say same to my female friends that complain dude has no money or not much to contribute. If you have money take care of your family happily and don’t let societal expectations steal your joy

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    2. Who made that rule of it being the place of a woman to cook for the family please?

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    3. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars4 August 2019 at 18:46

      Anonymous 16:27 & Dainty T, we insult the men when they can't provide and pull their weight. We say to them as it is in the Bible a man who cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel. They work long hours and do other things to make the family run. Yes, their are women who work and even earn more than the men. But then the man goes to work and comes back and you expect him to prepare food as well?

      We are wired differently. There should not be any competition only compliment each other. But no, some of us will not understand it.

      And besides our culture and tradition expects the woman to keep house not the man. That's the way it is. Of course what goes on in every man's house is a different ball game. But common, some of you are saying the poster is feeling entitled. What about the lady.

      This is one of the reasons why some marriages are packing up.

      Dear poster, to each his own. Sit down and count the cost. If she doesn't cook as you expect will it be a big deal? Think about it carefully and make up your mind.

      It is well.

      Delete
  10. She sounds like me. I don't cook. For myself that is. But when my nieces or nephews come visiting, I find myself cooking. I would rather starve myself than the innocent children. She has been straight with you. Accept her completely or leave.

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  11. some ladies are like that they don't like cooking. But cooking is supposed to be like a hubby for a lady. Same way you won't excuse a man who doesn't provide, you shouldn't excuse a woman who does not want to cook.

    She should embrace it cos it's inevitable

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    Replies
    1. So if they are sharing the bills,which is the case these days, Cooking and house chores should still be her hobby? I dont understand some of u at all. I'm a man, and I can never marry a woman who thinks like you. Nobody must do more than the other in marriage. One person must not always get tired, just because they are married.

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    2. Ask many married women today, you can't force any man who doesn't want to provide to provide. Many women are the ones carrying their homes and doing all the chores as well.

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  12. Run for your life anybody telling you she will change with time is deceiving you I repeat run run run run don't say I didn't warn you...a word is enough for the wise

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  13. You both should find a middle ground. You both have to compromise if you really want to be together. And lady please be reasonable in your demands and be opened to change.

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  14. Stella it's not as easy as you're saying it, I know a family that the man cooks breakfast, lunch and dinner. The woman told her husband before marriage that she doesn't like cooking and he agreed to do the cooking both of them are happily living together. The woman just wakes up takes her bath,makeup take breakfast made by the man and go to work, infact they both work in uniben and have three kids together. If he can't cope they should part ways now the earlier the better.

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    Replies
    1. ive chatted with guys that dont mind cooking and dont see it as a problem bt note that those guys are white..My current man is a single father of two nd he makes about 5 fresh dishes every single day for his kids nd parents nd he does that happily,always talks to me about waiting for me to visit so he can make dishes for me..I think im lucky to have him bt what is applicable to me doesnt mean it wuld be applicable to others bcuz Its not easy in this country..If the man is dropping money nd taking care of most of the responsiblities,then the wife shld try to adjust to cooking nd the man helps when he is available..U guys shld sort something out sha

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  15. Stella it's not as easy as you're saying it, I know a family that the man cooks breakfast, lunch and dinner. The woman told her husband before marriage that she doesn't like cooking and he agreed to do the cooking both of them are happily living together. The woman just wakes up takes her bath,makeup take breakfast made by the man and go to work, infact they both work in uniben and have three kids together. If he can't cope they should part ways now the earlier the better.

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    Replies
    1. But it would have been ok, if it is the woman that cooks breakfast, lunch and supper, and the man just dresses up, and goes to work? Nobody was born with vegetables in their hands. Every adult must be able to cook, and do house chores. It must be shared equally, except one decides to do most. Both must work and share the Bills too, except both decides otherwise.

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  16. She will learn and adjust with time .My sister was very lazy and hates cooking when we were growing up. But now in her husband's house, she cooks, clean and do all the house chores .

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  17. I'm surprised at Stella! Who has ever changed after marriage for the better. People bring out their real selves after marriage and usually it's a lower version of what is usually expected. She will tell you ,you were well aware of her deficiencies before you agreed to marry her hence any excuse or complain your bring up will be seen as nagging. No body is perfect! So decide how you want to cope. Is it by having househelp that will be doing the cooking for the family or you quit the relationship. If you think she will change then sorry she will only get worst in that area. Find a solution that doesn't involve her changing or quit.

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    Replies
    1. actually people change with an adjustment to lifestyle,my sister isnt married bt that girl was lazyyy,she got better after having a child nd living with other people,so yes people change

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    2. Thank you jor. Poster should just take it as it Is, she just might not change and that is not bad because you were aware.

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    3. Not cooking is not synonymous to being lazy .

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  18. There are women who don’t like cooking 😨
    My dear, don’t start what you can’t finish.
    She doesn’t like cooking so don’t bother marrying her.
    For how long do you think you can take that?
    Nothing like home made meals,made with love.
    The love is shacking you now, when you finally settle in, you’d find it really difficult, before you know it, you are eating in a side chics 🥴house.
    Cooking does not make one a slave. As home builders, women should like cooking.
    That’s why you see some kids looking like tissue paper, no stamina at all...they don’t eat properly.
    I wonder how she’d raise her own daughters 🤥
    Woman that don’t like cooking, what do you call her 💁🏿‍♂️

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    Replies
    1. Slutty I was enjoying your write up but was disgusted getting to the 2nd paragraph. Cooking doesn't define a woman. I for one will love to cook for my family but that doesn't mean other women who don't want to are wrong. He can cook too or keep it moving; find someone else who will cook for him. It's just a relationship and if she's not what he wants, he should move on rather than being entitled.

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    2. i dont like cooking because i see it as being more of a chore but doesnt mean i wont enter the kitchen to cook if i have to..I dont like the idea of cooking but once im inside that kitchen,i go with the flow nd cook happily

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    3. U are wrong Slutty, not everyone that can nt cook nor go to the kitchen can not cook.Some due to their work schedule and profession.
      Some of my colleagues live in places like Iyana ipaja,Ikorodu,Mowe and Santo otta and work on d Island.They leave house (not wake up) by 4-5am Mondays to Fridays.
      It is common now to see young professionals with drivers, not cos they can't drive nor lazy but because, they can't stand the stress and the rigour on Lagos roads.

      When it comes to relationships, trust Me, the least u need to worry urself on is chores, with understanding, u can overcome it, it is not a problem.There are people now dt u can give money to , that will cook different soups for you that will last you weeks.

      Understanding is d key,once u know u can't accommodate the excesses of the other person,just free them.Some spouses are lazy and there partners love them d way they are.

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  19. Tell her just what you want and stand by it instead of acting like you're cool with everything she's saying.

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  20. yes u dont like to cook but u aint trying either. who exactly was born to like cooking. u think everylady wont like to get a robot or staff to cook for them. i believe u should discuss this extensively bcoz its not a small issue at all. i would rather stay home than go out by 4am every morning to work but do i do it. nooo.. d fact u dont like cooking is not an excuse to exempt ursef or tell your partner so he would not blame you the days he doesnt meet food at home.. our ladies of today are mentally slow. they dont tink far at all

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    1. Our ladies of today are mentally slow? Learn not to generalise.
      Saying"Some" would have sufficed. Or are you not amongst the so called ladies, are you an old woman? Painting all ladies bad so as to look like the only good one, if we check now you have your own in your body.

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    2. Unknown please always apply sense nau haba!!! That your last sentence reeks of ignorance

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    3. Your comment is actually MENTALLY SLOW.

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    4. Her written english also..is MENTALLY SLOW.

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  21. Poster better work out now if you can't deal to avoid gbege after marriage.

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  22. You don't intend chopping her cookie? Guy man you're definitely chopping outside. Trust me

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  23. I don’t understand your problem. She set out her stand on cooking early on and she made her compromises. If she doesn’t like cooking and you don’t like that she doesn’t like cooking and you can’t deal with her not cooking, please free her now before you will marry her and start complaining. Because you’ve already started and after marriage the sense of entitlement you are already exhibiting will escalate and you will complain times ten. If cooking is your love language look for who will cook sumptuous dishes for you and free this babe. It’s not as if she said she will never cook at all oh.

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    1. I’ve all all the comments by this comment? 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 Simple and short and all facts 💯 are all

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  24. Stella, you are wrong. I have been married for 12years with 3 children. I habe never liked cooking and I don't cook.

    The poster has to make a decision if having his wife cook for him is more important than any other positive factors she has to contribute to him. You can have a great cook who offers nothing more than that. Its a choice to make.

    There are lots of other ways to make food available in the home without it being prepared by the woman. Why get fixated on the food being prepared by the woman? There are many other good things I am sure she brings on board. Why not appreciate those and let go something that can be sorted any way? Why must she do something she hates constantly even if it makes her miserable only because she is a woman? Would you like to be saddled witha responsibility that you not like constantly? Remember how long it takes to prepare each meal and multiply that by a minimum of 3.

    In the days when the women used to do all the cooking, the men used to pay ALLLL the bills including the woman's bills. Are you ready to do that? If you expect her to contribute to paying bills, not help out, then you must be ready to contribute in the kitchen, not help out. You both have equal responsibility to ensure the commonwealth of the family is prosperous in every area; not by making one party miserable.

    For me, that should not be a deal breaker. I said the same to my husband before we got married. We have kids now; they are healthy and are well fed. So is my husband. Trust me, your children will not go hungry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much for this comment.
      This food discussion continues to come up as if there aren’t other important things to worry about in life. Before you met and married this person, you didn’t starve to death but somehow you want them to be solely responsible for the food you eat.

      Delete
    2. How did you sort out the food issue in n your home 15:58?

      Delete
    3. Anon...15:54 loud it

      Delete
    4. Thank you for sharing this. I think cooking has to do with understanding. I like cooking but my hubby loves cooking. He cooks way more than me. Do we have kids? Yes! We all enjoy what he cooks while I cross my legs.
      Every marriage is different, poster if you really love her then cook or find a chef.
      A friend doesn't cook, she has kids. The agreement between her and her hubby is , he will never do dishes but he will cook . They have been married for 11 years, she doesn't cook or go to market but she must do dishes after the man cooks .

      Delete
  25. Don't start what you cannot finish Oga.Your gulfriend is a very lazy gurl and seems her upbringing is affecting her.Her mom didn't do her work well.My candid advice, please if you can't cope with her standard, start running now,she has told you about herself ,accept it or leave it.she is not gonna change bro.if she can't owe up to what she is suppose to do as a wife why getting married.Cooking is one of the work of a woman in marriage. What do she mean by that .Don't take stella, s advice cos even if she try to change wen children start coming,there is no way she would change completely.My dear love is not enough in marriage, if you doubt enter and see yourself then.We don't need more chronicles abeg,broken rship is better than broken marriage. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a fool. Why Blame the mother. I have sisters that love to cook and one that doesn’t
      Same mother trained all
      If she doesn’t cook but has other redeeming qualities, she’s better trained than you because I’ve never known her to insult any body’s mother

      Delete
    2. Leave him and let him be talking like all is cool now. If cooking mean so much to you, give way.
      I have never seen a woman that says that she wouldn't be cooking for her family, only the lazy and entitled one will spew out that trash.

      Wait and see the association coming out to defend her now but they work like slave at home.

      Delete
    3. “Cooking is one of the work of a woman in marriage?” God forbid slavery. I jump and pass this one.

      Delete
    4. I’m telling you @don 😂😂 forming posh ontop cooking. Pathetic 🤭

      Delete
    5. Illiteracy is bad sha. Who do you this kain thing?

      Delete
    6. Stop blaming the mother. A woman is may not like cooking and shouldn't be forced to like it. She may learn to cope, but she won't be very happy doing it. Also it is wrong to feel that because you like cooking you are better than the woman that doesn't. Character matters most.

      Delete
  26. Dear BV,

    Cooking is dying. With each food-plug/restaurant that opens, we no longer find it necessary to cook at home.

    This doesn't make sense right? Na one mad man wey I dey dash fanta tell me o

    ReplyDelete
  27. Look, sweetheart, we're living in a very different era. Some women now see the old school values as primitive, obsolete, even oppressive. We've seen the the "wife, not cook" hashtag trend and some ladies supported a bride who refused to kneel for her groom during their traditional marriage. A lot of ladies no longer see a particular domestic chore as the duty of a wife. If you're looking for a lady with old school values like your mum, you may have a long search.

    Your girl has placed her cards on the table and I commend her for that, it's either you accept her, warts and all, or you look for someone else. If your wife not cooking is a deal breaker, then this isn't the one for you. It will be very unfair to marry her with the hope of changing her. Just because her mum cooked for the entire family, doesn't mean your girl must cook for hers. Don't hold out hope that she will start cooking when kids arrive because I've heard of some mothers who buy takeouts for their children, they still refuse to cook regularly.

    It's really not that complicated. You have to decide which is more important to you. Unless your mindset is that a wife must cook for her family, another option is to hire a cook. The cook does most of the cooking and wifey can cook whenever she feels like.

    We all have different orientations which should be respected to a certain degree, nobody has the right to shove theirs down the throat of another, that's bullying of some sort. I'm not sure how our individual opinions will help, but I hope they give you a clearer perspective on things. Good luck!
    e-hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You gave the perfect comment. This guy should free the girl if that’s not what he wants. I’ve noticed a trend in Nigerian men trying to force their ideals on women when they can just go find another woman who shares the same mindset as them. This lady has told you upfront, you can’t deal with it then end the relationship and find someone you’re compatible with. Simple.

      Delete
  28. I love cooking if the environment is conducive

    ReplyDelete
  29. If you love her to overlook that side of her go ahead with the relationship but I don't think she will change as Stella said. I have a friend like her she wasn't cooking as a single lady. When she got married the same. It caused series of quarrel with the husband. At last the man adjusted either he cooks or bread and coke takes over even with kids around. I do give them food on special occasions like Xmas and Easter.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I don't like cooking too, and it's no big deal for us. Sometimes I cook, sometimes he cook and sometimes we stand together and prepare our food. During the week he always prepares he food as he gets ready for work and that time I'm usually asleep. Weekends whoever feels like cooking cooks and we all eat. We have 2 kids and one on the way. We're ok with the arrangement.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Guy, be honest to yourself o. If you know deep down in your heart you expect your wife to be in charge of kitchen duties, be honest with her and end the relationship. Everyone telling you it won't matter in the long run are lying. It matters o. There are true stories of men who left their wives for another woman because the other woman was a better cook. Don't start the path for becoming one of those men.

    Be honest to yourself and end the relationship. There's a woman for you out there who has all the qualities you like in this lady AND sees cooking as important to her.

    The lady would also find a man who doesn't give a damn about who cooks. A friend of mine is married to a man who LOVES to cook and he's the breadwinner of the family.

    There's someone for everyone. One just has to be patient.

    ReplyDelete
  32. judging from the text she sent you, I don't see anything wrong with that oga. You are just scared cos you can't cook as well. She said if you are around, you cook and if she is tired, you cook. Whats wrong with that poster???it's not like she can't cook, she just doesn't like cooking. If she can do other things aside cooking I don't see any problem with that. if you enter the kitchen and cook will you die???? Mtchewwww better throw that stupid mentality away and let her be. Lazybone!!! I wonder how women cope with men that can't cook. mtchewwww

    ReplyDelete
  33. Brother she has told you her truth from the onset, she does NOT LIKE COOKING. Do not think you can force or manipulate her to start liking it lest you start grudging and bitching if you choose to marry her.
    If you know you can't cope, quickly find your square root because it will be truly unfair to her if you try changing the narrative later.
    That her mother loves cooking and does for her family doesn't mean she automatically has to, human beings are unique and different. Get that!!
    If you love home made food that much and still insist on marrying her, then be prepared to be doing most of the kitchen work and who knows, she just might change later on in marriage.
    Cooking isn't one of my favourite chores too, I don't even eat much and my husband is absolutely fine with that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Imagine the daft statement, 'my mother nyen nyen nyen' so everywoman you meet should be like your mother??
      Are you a cardboard cutout or a toy.
      You've never heard of the word individuality?
      Please leave marriage first, don't go and suffer another person's daughter with this ape mentality.
      Just use the next decade or so to hopes grow up.

      Delete
  34. I think our upbringing didn’t help
    The typical naija female child is just tired. Tired of chores tired of expectations
    She will cook for dad and mum. They will add older and younger brother. They won’t teach older kids to cook but as soon as she’s 8, she’s supposed to know how to Mahele soup. Then marry and do it goes. It’s too much abeg

    ReplyDelete
  35. Weigh your options poster, dont send us one Chronicle of how you went to eat home made food at your colleague's place, from one plate of soup, to long hugs, sharing secrets, peck, kiss, smooch, sex one time, she got pregnant... Stella and Bv's what do you suggest I do.

    And to people that say it's not important, do you know cooking has a way of making everyone happy? the kids passing comments like 'best cook' I love you mum... your husband passing by, trying to spank your bum to distract you while he steals meat or plantain, when his friends come around and complement your cooking that stuff can scatter a man's head and add extra shoulder pads to his ego. Men have a way of pouring out their minds when they are eating, you may not like it but just do it, I'm sure most of us have found ourselves in situations we dont like, and I'm sure we've on most Occasions just found a way of managing it, pending when an alternative or a solution comes.

    Go to Instagram and patronize people who cook, have enough stew and varieties of soups packed in small packs in the deep freezer,the day you are tired, microwave soup, make eba for him and chill on the bed. Have appliances that will help you, eg blender/food processor, toasters, a cooker with 6 burners all gas and an oven, electric kettle, microwave, deep freezers, and a fridge for fruits, have someone do your shopping in bulk and store them till the day you have strength to cook, look out for those women that come from ogun state to sell on sundays and do your mini shopping, you can sit in your car and tell them what you need, wrap your vegetables in a news paper and wrap in nylon before putting in the fridge, it'll be as fresh as ever.

    The day you have strength to cook, make ji han gwolagwo (porridge yam, upaka, veg and enough smoked fish) dont try it with new yam, or jollof spaghetti etc.

    That poster is complaining because deep down he cant cope, he loves you but he's scared little issues like this may breakdown his love for you, they say from the abundance of the heart the mouth speakest. He has agreed to help out, you too do the little you can, there are no perfect relationships.

    Life is not hard.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Oga she may never cook...would you still love her? Joke Silva says she's doesn't cook for Olu Jacobs and he does the cooking. As you can see they are fine and still very much married.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I like to cook, but when I'm constantly expected to cook, I get irritated.
    I get a real kick out of serving up good meals and having it devoured but I also like being fed. Infact I love that one more.
    I can cook well, but I can't marry a guy who can't fix up something even if it's take out! cos I will just die of resentment. Il come back from work later than you and meet you waiting for food? Like seriously, in this age? When you should be waiting for me with a warm hug and a hot plate? Ha ooo!!!
    Oga if you know food is your problem, please remove your eyes from her 'generousity' and find your spec. Find your spec Oga!
    You alone know the reason why you can't seem to find your voice on an issue that is clearly very important to you.
    She has told you now from the onset, so stop pretending to be cool when you are obviously not!
    Guys now also pretend to be down with certain things to net chics; they marry, allow a kid or two and suddenly turn into drop the facade cos they think they've got the lady where they want her, meanwhile she is confused like who is this man, this isn't the person I married, why is he acting strange all of a sudden and ofcourse resistance and tension sets in. This is one of the factors behind this sudden increase in divorce and seperations cos while some women will adjust and albeit suffer in silence,more and more are cutting their losses. Don't let ojukokoro lead you and others around you to misery please.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Haba how can she not like cooking. The way to most men's heart is through their stomach. Please there is notting like new era or 21st century when it comes to cooking. She needs to know that she must cook even if it's once a week. Oga please discuss with her well. She will not change ooo, except you want to be one cooking in your house. Infact it will be worst when she starts having kids. Please have a discussion with her or else she will turn you to a cook.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Màamí Eats Pap , Spiced Pap and Original Honey 090302887585 August 2019 at 07:56

    I would love to believe that it's naivete at play on her part. Part of the reasons why we cook as wives is because it's cheaper doing that .

    Can you afford to get a chef or cook ?
    Because it's going to be difficult employing a maid because you'll have to oversee and instruct her a lot.


    Poster's gf, life is about compromise,can you start cooking at home to see how it is?

    Don't lose a good man over wanting to have your way please .


    Leke Alder posted something about wanting to have it your way always .

    .
    Cooking is a beautiful thing , learn it, try and get excited about it .

    And planning what you eat ahead makes it less stressful too.

    ReplyDelete
  40. What Stella advocated is what's causing a lot of problems in marriages today. That is the expectation that someone will change for the better after marriage. What happens if she doesn't? Or if you meet someone later with her qualities who likes to cook? Marriage breakup! Remember that the best you have now is only the best you can do at the moment. There is always someone better out there. Kill the relationship immediately and move on. Marriage is not dating. When marital challenges come, this will add fuel to the fire.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Do not take this lightly. If she can't cook she can't cook. When u guys get married it will be a problem. Forget all the lovey dovey of gf n bf. Marriage is real. You might not bother as you guys start. As time goes on you realise she needs to cook. Or you get a girl that will do. If you dont have money leave that girl

    ReplyDelete

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