Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicles Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

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Thursday, August 01, 2019

Chronicles Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

Hmmmmm........











STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

CONFUSED OVER RELATIONSHIP STATUS

I don't know were to drop this as I'm confused,it was last month when we hard a fathers day programme at church,people came to celebrate with us so as our pastor adopted mum was there,after service pastor walked up to me that i should see him in 30min time,i said OK.when it was 30min went inside to see my pastor! inside the pastor office was the adopted mum,i entered and greeted mama and i sit,mama was all smiling at me then pastor said mama said she will like i be her daughter in law to her son who is in South Africa,i was shocked but mama saw my countenance and said she is sorry but she likes me as I'm simply beautiful...



I smiled and say thank you ma,we talked and talked and mama showed me her son picture(cutie cutie)mama asked for my pictures to be sent to her son as well,after days the son called and we took it from there started chatting,check up on each other almost everyday.initially dayo will come online even if I'm not there he will drop a message which i will reply immediately i come online,recently Dayo does not say hi each time he is online unless i do then he will reply ,so yesterday i asked him if we are dating as its been like 1month we started talking....


Bros asked what do i think and i replied i want to know from him and he said we are getting to know each other that after that we can go from there.recently i told bros i think he doesn't like me enough and bros he started saying how he just left a relationship broken that he has invested so much in with a Tanzanian lady who later fucked up that he is trying to fix his heart bla bla,i said OK,my issue is I'm worried that i think uncle does not like me,or he is not into me like I'm to him.......


The mum always calls to check on me and will tell me things will get better that uncle is still heartbroken and finding it hard to love and get close to a lady,i don't know if i should stop chatting with him or still play along,dayo is a cool,calm tone,playful person and i like him,mama believe uncle is stilt the church boy that left naija as there family are strong devoted Christians but dayo smoke and mama does not know that,i don't even know how to tell my pastor and mama that uncle now smoke cigarette..

I have been to the abroad for 6yrs and came back finally to Nigeria.


*You are in a relationship with his Mother!!!...This man has been truthful with you,please leave him alone and mind your business on whether he smokes or not....He is an adult!!!

94 comments:

  1. There is no future for you with Dayo and if you continue on this part to please mama, you’d live to regret it no jokes.
    Mama has seen a naive girl and on one hand thinks with you Dayo can be tamed while also knowing that with you Dayo can get away with anything because you’re a “people pleaser”.

    I can assure you that mama knows that Dayo is not devout anything, she is just playing the “unknowing” card. You better walk away now before it gets too late because it seems like you’re already into the whole thing when you haven’t even met the guy or is it because he is in South Africa? When and if a man is interested in you, you’d know. This one has either gotten back with his ex babe or seeing someone else reason her stopped communicating frequently like he used to after a month.

    Look for someone else who doesn’t need his mama to search for a woman for him. Women like mama turn out to be terrible mother in laws that you’d begin to wonder if it’s the same mama that “begged” you to marry their son.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There could be a future but just make sure u are safe. show him d qualities u have how caring and supportive u can be(in d process of showing him don't get carried away o because that bros is not capable of love right now) once u'v done ur part leave him,and continue ur life if he value u he will come looking for u

      Delete
    2. I am with Stella and Doppel on this.

      Delete
    3. This Doppel always coming with negative vibes on any marriage issue..If you know so much about marriage and prospective mother in laws I can only imagine how perfect yours will be...radarada.....mtcheeewwww. It is only marriage issues that you jump out with your critical and over pessimistic advice and views. Sis..as one who has been married 15 years I can authoritatively advise you....Till you enter get the experience make you no day too put mouth. It is not the same when you truly experience it ooo...

      Delete
    4. Doppel that your last paragraph is sooo true. I experienced that first hand and I can tell you most times it doesn't always end well.

      Delete
    5. God bless you doppel for this response, thats my story, Mil palava, soon and very soon il tell my story.

      Delete
    6. Anon 17:51, even with your 15 years experience you still no get sense and I’m not your sis. I will put mouth in any discussion I want, if you don’t like it go and kiss transformer.

      Delete
    7. Anon 17:51
      What has Doppel said now that is wrong? One doesn't need to be married to have common sense and wisdom. The advice she gave is exactly what I myself and any woman who loves herself will do. Marriage may be hard as you say but that doesn't mean there aren't people who are finding the ride smooth and easy. A lot of problems people face in marriages and in life generally will be avoided by applying wisdom and prudence. So leave her to advice this young lady accordingly and stop projecting your dissatisfaction on everyone.

      Delete
    8. You've said it all. I hope she heeds to the advice.

      Delete
    9. This doppel must be a sad and frustrated human being with this advice. How can you just tell her god quit ?? Are you normal at all or you don’t read to understand ??? Must everything revolve around the woman. He’s still heart broken and tryin gets to heal. What is wrong wth that. You sound like you know the family so well. What an idiot response.

      Delete
    10. Richard, you are an idiot. The heartbroken man couldn’t tell his mother to allow him heal before searching for another woman for him. Go and learn how to type correctly before you come for me.

      Delete
    11. Richard and madam 15 years in the marriagerial ministry, you both suck as an adult. I’m 19 and I know even I won’t go into that type of relationship.

      Delete
  2. So,if they leave you now,you will go and tell the pastor and his mother that he now smokes?see this girl oh.πŸ™„.How old are you sef?see reasoning bikonu.My dear,you are not ready for marriage and stop disturbing that young man.His mother probably didnt even tell him she was looking for a wife for him...he is just trying nit to rude,believing you will see the hand writing on the wall and give yourself brain.Dont be a nuisanace,keep it moving!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Imagine, going to tell mama that dayo smokes.
      you either leave dayo alone or stay but with your eyes wide open to be sure of what is happening.

      Delete
  3. The poor man already told you he’s just gotten out of a broken relationship, what’s there you do not understand?
    Take it slow and don’t pressure him, else he’ll see you as desperate and take a walk.
    How’s it your business wether he smokes or not?
    See this babe 😨
    You haven’t even be confirmed a girlfriend, you are already playing wifey role πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
    Go on ahead and report to his mum that he smokes πŸ’πŸΏ‍♂️ gbeborun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It’s the idiots fault. Why did he stay what he didn’t plan to finish
      Sorry my dear
      Bit seems he’s politely letting you go

      Delete
    2. This is why most men run away from you girls, how can you be asking where you are headed with a guy you have only known for just one month? You haven't seen him face to face to be sure you will even want to date him. What if he has body/mouth odour?
      The guy just got out of a relationship, you can take it easy with him and also make sure he is someone you will even like to marry. You should be happy he was being truthful to you.
      Please leave mama and pastor out of it all. If you don't want to date him that's fine too, but let him do the chasing if he is really interested.
      Give it time.

      Delete
    3. @Push up
      It's just weakening, just a month and she's worried about a title , whereas she knows nothing about this individual, tomorrow she would send a heart wrenching chronicle on how he's abusing her and if only she knew better she'd have being patient enough to know him.

      Delete
  4. He hasn't even considered you his girlfriend and you are complaining and judging him for smoking...haba!
    You better face front before mother and son go take you do experiment!
    I wonder why some pastors support and encourage such stupidity!
    Madam fork,please,come and shoot this poster for me mbok!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pinky lady.. U r 100% correct there!
      No be small experinent mama & her pikin in South Africa go take this foolish geh...do!
      Lol!πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      But how can pastors & churches be doing this kind of thing. I know u can helpfully set up someone on blind date. Then let the 2 decide from there what they want to do. But not to go & tell someone outright to go & marry someone.
      Na so many of these sad chronicle writers here take get husband or wife that will scrap their head afterwards! Or even seriously destroy someone's life all in the name of marriage.

      Delete
    2. Dont talk like that,many marriages are tru connection and it works.

      Delete
  5. Stella is right, you are in a relationship with the mother. You should stop pushing it. Would you rather end up getting married and staying with the mother who married you for him?

    You sound hopeful and interested in the relationship, and I also noticed you are well traveled, why don’t you try and make out vacation time in his country and get to observe him. If you can, foot your own bill. Do not draw conclusions, just observe and ask questions. If in the end, you feel something ain’t right, then just withdraw even from the Mum. No go use Mother in Church blah blah blah, put yourself for wahala. Your peace of mind is paramount.

    😘😘

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mehn! I Sense something ain't right already. Poster be careful so you don't waste your time. This is one of those cases where you don't put all your eggs in one basket.

      Delete
    2. Mogbe! So she should spend her money to travel out to see a man who doesn't know if he even wants a relationship with her!!! Poster leave mama and her son alone. If he is interested let him do the running and stop all this your nonsense.

      Delete
  6. Ori iwo, dayo ati mama ope!

    Keep seeing how it goes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na them.
      When theyre 30 and above, the moment you say Hi to them, theyre already picking wedding date and gown.

      Delete
    2. Poster, why not relax and just be friends? Why do ladies always want to rush into the romantic aspect of a relationship too soon? That's why many get taken advantage of. Just a month of talking with him and you are already asking him if you are dating?

      Well, the kind of person I am this is what I would do: yeah, I know very well mama wants me to hopefully marry his son but I won't let that blind me into not doing things the right way. I will just be friends with him. We laugh, we talk, we gist, give him a listening ear, a friendly encouragement, a wise counsel...no sentiments attached; nothing romantic but pure platonic friendship.

      Friendship like this reveals the kind of person someone is. Emotions blind the truth. So put it in check. Don't let your emotions run away with you @poster. Pocket them and think straight.

      Your character, your attitude towards him is what will draw him to you and make him see you are different from other girls. The way you are going, you will come off as pushy and overly desperate and a guy in his situation wouldn't want that. He will put up a defense mechanism.

      Hey, calm down. Be friends. Remove romance from the picture even if you feel you like him. I didn't say love. I said like. You don't know this guy. You haven't met him personally. You are both distance apart. What makes you think that the one month you spoke with him is enough to know who he actually is?

      Easy. Just be his friend. That's what he needs now. Love will come later. Let your character do the work. Stop being in a hurry dear girl!

      Selah.

      Delete
    3. You just said all I wanted to say. Why the rush biko?

      Delete
    4. Poster, Follow this advice from @Pure inspirations. She has said it all

      Delete
  7. I can smell your desperation sis. Not like it's a bad thing but you have to adjust when people start acting strange. You asking those questions shows you are too keen and men don't like that. If he doesn't message you don't message him and reduce your convo with the mum because she's setting you up to fail

    ReplyDelete
  8. Why are you "into him?"
    Abroad, onwere ihe ozo -is there anything else?
    😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
    The mama simply came to the "church" to shop and found a very cheap one.
    So if she had told you that this his son is a teacher at Ojuelegba, will you
    have been "into him?"
    Nke a bu ajuju?
    He smokes, what other things does he do?
    You are "a christian or a church girl"? Ajuju ozo
    Is he one?
    You just want to marry and go abroad to a man you rarely know both his faith and his personality.
    If he loves you, he should do all the chasing/chatting while you respond.
    If he is still "missing his ex/heartbroken", then your interaction with him has not done
    anything to mend that. That means you are not the one he is looking for.
    Ladies please let's stop cheapening ourselves. You are a treasure, that is
    if you know your worth.
    😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Boo boo, your comment is the truth.

      And I love as you didn't write in pidgin. Easy to read through.

      Well done😊

      (Your one and only baby boo of sdk blog)

      Delete
    2. Thumps up ANG. Always passing out the truth in a comic way. Your messages are most times on point.

      Delete
    3. Yaba left escapee1 August 2019 at 16:13

      Militant born again, i hail oh.

      Delete
    4. ANG. I know you go like this post very well.
      πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

      Delete
    5. Where is Bingo??
      Bingo, come out!!
      Food is served.

      Delete
  9. Oh my gosh I kept on laughing as I was reading through!

    Poster, how old are you? Receive sense in Jesus name!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And l say Amennnnnnnnnnmm on her behalf.
      Desperate times, desperate chick.

      Delete
  10. look honey never ask a man what are we now? are we dating? who im i to you? men respond to no action. focus on yourself if he wants you he will come for you and quit looking desperate

    ReplyDelete
  11. Terrible grammar everywhere!
    Poster, please go with your intuition. Don’t allow anyone toy with your emotions or waste your time.
    I dislike indecisive people... that dog in the manger attitude. He’ll keep stringing you along till he finds someone who ticks all his boxes.

    When a man sees what he wants, he goes for it. If he doesn’t go for it, he doesn’t want it.
    I suspect he sees you as a goody two shoes church girl and he finds that boring. Nothing wrong with being that way, it’s probably just not what he likes.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My dear kindly mind your bizness.stop pushing it act as if you no longer send him,he will be the one lukin for your attention.bcoz right now baby girl you seem desperate to him.but once you withdraw that attention you are offering to him.he will want to have it back.As for the mother continue being nice to her,tell her u and her son her cool whenever mama wants gist.

    ReplyDelete
  13. this stories are they real?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, they are not.
      So, people sit and type down their issues looking for help and you think they are fake??
      Have you not seen SOME girls throw themselves at men? Difference here is that dude is in SA. If not, this girl would have already gone to cook and do his laundry and start crying he’s not into her.

      Delete
  14. I'm sorry but I don't see this heading anywhere. You mean you already caught feelings??

    It's the mum & pastor that wants this guy to get married..he doesn't come across as being interested in you..but then, guard your heart oooh.

    You sound like you're being pressured. Na wa!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Similar thing happened to me, but not with pastor and mother, but brother. I could sense his cold feet by his lukewarm response. He later said I should travel to see him. I did not because my instincts did not release me. So one time I called him and he wasn't conscious I was hearing him talking about me on the phone to another female. He sounded as if his brother was forcing him and he wasn't really interested. After that I deleted him completely. And he didn't bother himself. So poster just be sure you are not forcing anything and live your life.

      Delete
    2. It was intentional. He knew you were hearing him. That was the only way he could get the message across to you.

      Delete
    3. 18:03 if so, it worked, but I was not disturbing him to begin with, neither did I demand for anything, but his brother so had confidence in me and wanted me as his in law. But like I told poster these things can't be forced.

      Delete
  15. Dear poster, do you want to leave him b/c he smokes? Do you want to leave him b/c he did not tell you that you guys are already dating after 1 month of phone/chat contact? Why can't you take things as they come? Do you really know him? From your story, I can deduce that the guys is being himself with you but you are so much in a hurry. You want him to say you guys are dating and then pull out after few months? I sincerely advice you take time to first know some basic things about him and even become friends before dating but if you cannot deal with his smoking habit then free the guy; and you must not tell your pastor/Mama that he smokes - WE ALL HAVE OUR BAD HABITS, including you.

    I advise all young ladies to bear in mind that all relationships must not lead to dating/marriage and all dating/courtship must not lead to marriage. People who first become friends tend to last longer and fare better in higher relationships. Do not rush into dating when you are yet to know basic things about the other person.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Stella has spoken, pls leave that guy alone.God will provide your own husband, love can not be forced.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I know it would be hard since you're already so into him, but you have to ignore him.. Don't message him, and when he does message you, answer him and keep it moving. If mama calls to know know far, tell her you guys are taking it slow...

    ReplyDelete
  18. My dear you have only been chatting for a month and already it seems you have already started planning your wedding in ur head, choosing wedding colours and wedding dress. COOL DOWN
    Don't over-think things, take it as you met a friend, don't put ur mind u have found a husband. Stop chatting him daily...… you can check on him once in a while just as friends.... if things work out fine, if it doesn't fine...… meet other guys. If he truly wants you he will pursue you. You were living a month ago before the mother introduced you, life doesn't end here. The guy may not see a future with you, and you cant force him to. That you are beautiful doesn't mean every man will desire you, learn and digest and accept that.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Pls let him go if he is ur's,he will come back to you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Madam! Wake up Abeg
    Let Dayo be don't contact him again
    Let him do the contacting, from this writeup he is obviously not ready

    ReplyDelete
  21. Am sorry but he is just not into you.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Aww! The innocence of this poster is so cute. Pls let's lay into her easy, her way pure. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Sis, Dayo is trying to be cordial with you. Y'all still in the getting to know each other stage so it's okay if he ain't that into you yet.

    Unlike the comments above, i actually think you should continue talking to him. He's not leading you on neither is he lying to you so I see no harm in continuing.

    You need to calm down tho. That his mother proposed marriage don't mean Dayo is ready to settle down. If you are in a hurry, move on. Don't rush the young man.

    If smoking is a vice to you then respectfully urge him to quit or stop talking to him altogether. Otherwise, mind your business.

    ReplyDelete
  23. It's obvious he is not into you. Just waka pass. Time wasters are real, beware.

    ReplyDelete
  24. doppleganger has said it all!!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. You don't help somebody by marrying their son without getting involved in a matter that might cause you headache just tell mama that you are not interested in any relationship without her son and that marriage is between two individuals before families

    ReplyDelete
  26. poster beware of prescribed marriage. He may always think that you were searched for him. You on the other hand is desperate and insecure about the whole thing.

    If you know in your heart that you can't cope, call it off to avoid further waste of time and emotion

    ReplyDelete
  27. Replies
    1. Single & planning wedding in her head.

      Delete
  28. There is no relationship here poster

    ReplyDelete
  29. Darling, your interaction with this young man is about a month, no? Why then are you in such a hurry? Were you hoping to get a marriage proposal within a month of chatting with a guy whom you've never met face to face? You appear way too desperate and that can be very irritating and off putting, especially for a man nursing a broken heart. Personally, I consider 3 months still getting to know a potential date, let alone 1 month.

    His mother wants you for him, he didn't meet you somewhere and took interest in you. He may be interacting with you out of courtesy to his mum. Just because you are catching feelings doesn't necessarily mean it is reciprocal. Honey, he is recovering from a heartbreak, chances are he doesn't want any relationship for now because he is hoping to get his girl back. You shouldn't be the rebound chic. You are showing too much interest in him and all that will do is chase him away.

    It's a good thing he was honest enough to let you know what he is going through. If I were you, I will consider him a friend for now and not a potential husband.

    Stop allowing his mum get into your head and stop acting like he is the last man on the planet! Are you a baby doll that you will even consider playing along? Why should you be so available that you will play along till a man decides whether or not you are the one? Honey is that how low you think of yourself? If you can't be a platonic friend for now, then cut him off completely and recover what's left of your dignity. You are a Queen, baby girl, start acting like one. Stop stalking him online and wondering why he didn't say hi. You seriously need to get busy, it appears you have too much time on your hands.

    Stop with the silly questions and make your life so interesting and full of fun that you don't need a relationship to make you happy and fulfilled. If you have to ask a guy the nature of your relationship with him, that alone tells you you aren't his girl. You shouldn't need to ask because a guy who is serious about you, let's you know by his actions and his words, he will claim you as his. Please allow a man chase you and work hard to impress you. Even if you are feeling him like crazy, keep it to yourself and keep him guessing.
    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So long a letter @ Ronald a.

      Delete
    2. Did they force you to read the "long" letter?

      Delete
  30. Poster please dont rush Dayo but be cordial with him to avoid looking desperate. relationship takes time and the true picture will be revealed soon if you can cultivate the habit of taking your time and avoid rushing things. please do not allow Dayo's mother influence you too much.also it is too early to be asking about your relationship status. Allow the guy to do the chasing and chatting.....PLEASE DO NOT CHEAPEN YOURSELF

    ######what ever will be will be

    ReplyDelete
  31. He will come for you if he really wants you. Left to me I will say stop contacting him. Don’t break your heart by yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, he will not. He’s not interested in a relationship at the moment. He needs time to heal and get over the Tanzanian lady. Women stop pushing girls into thy Sons. Thy Sons have eyes too to see women with and legs to walk up to them. They also have hangs to pick up a phone and call, fingers to type and send messages and ears to listen to her. Leave thy Sons alone. No more meddling allowed.

      Delete
    2. That is even assuming the story he gave her was the truth.

      Delete
  32. Poster you reek of desperation. This is a set up that will ruin you if you continue pushing for it.

    He is not the one, forget this church hookups it doesn't always work for the woman at the end of the day.
    Most of the time you will be reminded by mama that if not for her you won't have a man and the guy will never let you forget that you were forced on him and not that he wanted you.

    Pls Dayo is not the one.just let it go, try and forget the relationship.Ignore him and put yourself out to meet someone new.
    As for mama tell her that you have considered the whole thing and prefer to not go along with it anymore.

    POSTER DNT FORCE YOURSELF ON HIM FOR HE IS NOT INTERESTED

    LEPπŸ˜›

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chop πŸ’‹ for this. You hit the nail on the head

      Delete
  33. Sis all i can say is don't put your eggs in once basket o

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can she put it in twice basket??

      Delete
    2. LMAO. How did i miss this? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
  34. Dear Poster,please read "THE POWER OF THE PUSSY" on ANY BOOK APP..You can download from your playstore.After reading this book,u won't ask these question again.It will reset your brain, I swear!
    Don't show a man you want a future with that u're readily available.Learn to dicate the Men Hoes, users, unavailable, losers and insecured men.
    It's a mind changing book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Darling I tried searching for it on the app I could not. Pls help.

      Delete
    2. Yaba left escapee1 August 2019 at 20:29

      Why do you need a book to have common sense?

      Delete
    3. Is that the title? Couldn't find it.

      Delete
  35. Poster move on he ain't your man

    ReplyDelete
  36. When this mama approached you, you were so eager, you didn't even pretend to go and pray about it. Fiam, you ran online to chat. Leave this guy alone please. He is still recovering from a major heartbreak. If I am to guess right, mama is Yoruba wants to safeguard her precious prince from those non Yoruba girls in SA. You will regret your life if you enter this once chance relationship. Mama loves that you can be controlled. She does not have your best interests at heart ooo

    ReplyDelete
  37. And pls while u're at it, keep your money safe...Don't go on a shopping spree on his mum.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes o, it shows desperation

      Delete
  38. Poster you are too desperate. The guy had told you clearly that you are not dating and where he stands and you still want to chooke head. Take you L like a champ and move on. While you’re at it, mind your own business about smoking. He is a grown man and can do what he wishes with HIS body. Goodluck!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Arranged pastor, how many church ladies has he hooked up? Lady I will change churches if I were you are there no Nigerian ladies in SA. Seek wise counsel

    ReplyDelete
  40. Where is your parents in all of this?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Theyre at home, go and tell them their daughter is desperately searching for a husband.

      Delete
  41. Don’t break up with hm
    You sound like the type that will lkeep thinking about if you should have kept talking with him
    So flip it on him instead
    Tell him it’s okay to take things slow then talk to him if he talks to you but continue keeping your prospects open with others

    ReplyDelete
  42. Poster you sound very young because anyone reading this can see this is silly. The man has never said he wants you, he's kuku ignoring you but here you are asking "what are we?" To strangers.
    Better wake up sweetie

    ReplyDelete
  43. Poster ignore all the mean comments. It's sad that people can't pass give advice without being insulting, demeaning and condescending. Bottom line is, this guy is not ready. So, if your heart can stand being just friends with him, then keep him as a friend otherwise let it go. But from my experience, I'll strongly advice that you let it go, move on and make yourself available for someone else. I've learned the hard way not to date guys that are just fresh out of a relationship; the issues they carry are just too complicated. So, simplify your life and forget about him please. Are you close to Jesus, focus your attention on Him and ask him to lead you to a man with Godly values who is ready for an honest relationship. The question is are you yourself ready? You won't be if you keep wasting time fawning over someone who's not over someone else. Goodluck

    ReplyDelete

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