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Sunday, September 15, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmmmm......







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
LOST LOVE



Hi Stella,

Kindly keep me anonymous.
I wrote you a mail late last year and the first quarter of this year...concerning my gambling addiction.How this led to a huge debt. How i was keeping it to myself thinking i can somehow get out of it on my own.


How it became overwhelming for me leading to depression, seclusion and suicidal thoughts.
Well...thank God it didn't get to that level. My people eventually got to know. After several castigation and support,the debt has been cleared(debt that should have ended by January 2020).

Now to the main purpose of writing this mail...



Briefly before the turbulent gambling time, i had a girlfriend which was way different from every other girl I've ever been with.She is beautiful,svelte, God fearing and most importantly...drama-free. I naturally have the fear of commitment which makes it hard for me to get serious with any lady. Normally,when i feel that i'm liking someone beyond my normal self ,it scares me and pushes me to ending things directly or indirectly. 



It's not a thing to brag about but my longest relationship since school days is 4 months long. I'm mostly single every other time which I've weirdly gotten used to.
When i ended the relationship with her,unlike previous relationships..we didn't stop communicating. We stayed as friends,talked everyday and the connection stayed strong. As friends,we will hang out when chanced,seek each other's advise over things and make video calls daily. Like twice or thrice in all those period,she would ask if we are back together...and i always reply "not yet".
She felt i was declining because we've never had sex(she is a virgin) practically initiating moves for me to disvirgin her but i stylishly declined because i wasn't sure of things.i love her too much to take that away from her.


 She has informed me years before that her first time has to be her wedding night. As fucked up as i was(secretly gambling and in debt)i respect her wish and i was lowkey helping her to keep it. In a nutshell,everything we do when we were dating,we still did as friends. I work in a financial institution in the heart of Lagos and on daily basis, i meet new charming ladies but subconsciously,i stopped following up with them even when i see obvious green-light from their end. Somehow,i actually cherish this complex friendship more than just getting layed with a random babe. And i wasn't actually emotionally ready so i just dey on my own. 



When i told her about the gambling issue,it was a teary moment for both of us. Surprisingly, the care and support grew beyond words. I couldn't believe that she will stand by me that much. It was at this moment it dawned on me that this is a keeper. The emotional support she gave was even more than what my family gave me.


About 3 months ago our communication reduced and it was obvious.Maybe once in weeks and it was glaring to me that someone/something new is in the picture.I asked her 3 weeks ago and she told me yes she met someone,she has grown feelings for him but she is very confused on what to do. Not that we are exactly dating but that really hurts. She is very open,she doesn't lie about things(she'll rather not respond) but from what i could sense,she is really into this new person.



I am presently on 4 weeks annual leave so i decided to meet up with her. The countenance,body language,questions she would prefer not to answer...all i could sense is that Jeez! Toyin is gone. 


I actually know nothing about this new person but i know he is making her happy. She actually deserves to be happy,every bit of it. But i really want her back,not just as a friend this time around. I understand that this decision is hers to make but i can't seems to stand the thought of losing her. Tears rolled my cheeks last night as i looked in the mirror asking myself...is this what heartbreak feels like? I've been hurt by ladies in the past but i'm sure I've not felt like this before....Bad guy Bad guy and i can't seem to shaken this off.



There are too many disturbing questions she would prefer not to answer, and ironically she is telling me to be patient until she finally decides. In my head it feels like she just wants to calmly manage me to the friendly point that when she finally picks him,i would still be a cordial friend. I don't see myself healing if we still talk. I stopped asking questions when i realized that not answering somehow pisses me off to the point of ranting. Really she doesn't owe me anything and me myself I've over fucked up in the past.


She is a light on her own. Whatever decision she makes, she won't regret it because i know for a fact that she will make things work in the calmest and sweetest possible want for her man and her home.


It just dawned on me now that i did not only lose money and time during those gambling period, i also lost the love of my life. I just want to make her happy but now i think i understand the popular music lyrics "only know you love her when you let her go".


Please if she has moved on and is happy,please let her go!!!

71 comments:

  1. Please face front Sir....... Mr time waster!!!!


    Or maybe she might also be in love with you.... Whatever Man!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for you, next time you make up your mind.
      Yall like playing with a good girl thinking she will always be there.
      You broke your own heart, if yiu really love her, please give her time to decide.

      Delete
    2. H if this is you; give me a call right now! Big Sis A.

      Delete
    3. FIGHT FOR HER!

      Delete
    4. TIME WASTER. PLS LEAVE THE POOR GIRL ALONE

      Delete
    5. Guy you don't still sound serious. If you are, go get your babe.

      Delete
    6. You only want her cus some one else her her

      Don't worry,you'll be fine

      Delete
    7. You are very childish.

      Delete
    8. Bros face front... let her be abeg

      Delete
  2. Awwwww,this is really sad..if shes happy let her go.i like you for not doing what a regular guy would especially when she was showing you love,you didnt tk the most important thing away from her.you are a great guy

    ReplyDelete
  3. My dear u are still not ready,so let her go.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Please let her go, i know men like you, i had an ex like you, real time wasters, you want her cos she has moved on, you thought she won't, so that you continue playing mind games with her, she happy please let her go

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly!!!! Poster is a real time waster. If she comes back now, he will still waste her time and go back to his old self. Pls let her go and be happy for her. I hope you've learnt tour lessons. Don't forget to go for deliverance also cos it seems your village people are on your case

      Delete
  5. Go and listen to R.kelly "when a womans fed up"

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't think you are ready yet, you are hurt coz she found someone else and u want her back, you don't really want her in your life, you just want your friend back, let her go, if on her own she comes back, accept her, if she doesn't, let go.

    ReplyDelete
  7. She is gone and for good
    You took your chance for so long and she was there, patiently. You're feeling this way because she flew away. If she did not run, you probably would still be doing this Pacesetters series kind of love. Move on, bro, yours will come. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She flew away? So, women are Birds now that fly way.

      Delete
  8. How I wish,one guy in my life can read this.. Immediately Oga sees that we're getting close, he would withdraw.We once dated and he completely ghosted me, two weeks later until I sent a message that it's over between us. We're still very good friends but the day I meet a man that really wants me and I love.. no going back. .

    To the poster, she waited for you to make a decision. She loved you but you kept keeping her apart until someone who saw her value acted immediately. I would have felt sorry for you but I know your type.. Very indecisive and weebly.You run away at the slightest chance of relationship troubles. You don't wait to sort it out but prefer ending things because you're scared. So even if she comes back, it would take the grace of God for you not to hurt her again. Keep being the friend you've always wanted to be and let her be happy with someone who is ready for her. I hope you learn from this. If she's meant to be yours, then maybe she would come back.. Otherwise babe has gone. .

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sorry about all that you have been through poster. It’s not really easy.
    Thank God your debt has been paid, you can breath now. I hope you don’t gamble anymore?
    In life, we all must learn to appreciate the people in our lives. Different people for different reasons. It’s difficult to meet a good man/woman these days.
    When you meet one, try your best to keep that person.
    Some of us have been heart broken one way or the other, that’s not the end of love for us.
    We let good people suffer as a result of what happened in the past. It’s really not fair to allow an innocent pay the price for what we suffered in the hands of another.
    Like I always say, let’s not keep dwelling in the past, it affects us terribly later on. It takes away your happiness, freedom, love, you tend to lose it all.
    You are not capable of loving, you are scared of commitment, all of that makes you not see when something good is right in front of you.
    In your quiet moment, think about this carefully. Can you change your mindset towards love and commitment?
    Are you sure you really love her or you just love her company? Think am well well o.
    Your attitude chases people away. It’s tiring I must say.
    Truthfully, she tried. Only few women would stand by you in your time of distress.
    she has found someone else, are you scared you’d never find a friend like her or you genuinely love her? Your answer will guide and lead you on to the best level.
    If you feel you are ready to love and commit to her, then fight for her with all you have got. You still have a chance. Don’t let that woman go just like that.
    Give love a chance no matter what. We deserve to love and be loved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Best comment so far, fight for her if you truly ready and sure you love her.

      Delete
    2. The guy is not really in love. When he meets that person, no one will push him. He won't even have second thoughts. He is only missing the comfort he had in this relationship. Toyin is better off with someone who really loves her. I hope her new guy is it.

      Delete
  10. Let her go but if you really know that you have changed but if not don't waste her time

    ReplyDelete
  11. Why are you men like this? You will have a good woman yet you will be psychologically abusing her. You broke up with her for no good reason, she still kept communicating with you. She really has a beautiful heart because most ladies in her shoes will block you totally from their life. Poster you are wicked. You actually realized her worth when you found out she is seeing someone else. I am happy for the new guy in her life and i pray she doesn't get back with you because it is obvious you don't like good things. Now you are crying. Do you remember when you were still messing with her feelings. Imagine how many sleepless night she had because of you and how much she cried silently in her room, asking herself what she did wrong for you to break up the relationship. It is your turn. Cry well oh and please allow her enjoy her new relationship. You don't even deserve her virginity. A better man that knows a good thing when he sees one has taken over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He hasn't realised her worth at all. Shedding crocodile 🐊 tears. I laugh in Swazi. Throughout his narrative, I checked for where he took, or was planning to take a stand for her. I couldn't find it. Not sure why we are reading this chronicle. You want us to sympathise with you? Oya, sorry, ndoo....... Sidon there. 🙄🤷🏽‍♀️

      Delete
    2. Anon 19:18 yes he doesn't still know her worth. i am sure it is the girl that is not ready to give him her virginity. Now he is trying to make us believe he has been respecting that decision. I feel the poster was playing mind games with her because she was not ready to give up her cookies.

      Delete
  12. If she didn't meet someone else you won't want her back abi? It's because of this i sow extra seed and offering to avoid people you in my life. Nonsense and banga ingredient!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madame koinkoin aka the 'peace maker'15 September 2019 at 16:53

      Lol easy o, nonsense and banga ingredient got me rolling meeeeehn!!!

      Delete
  13. Poster i beg you in the name of God, let that girl go.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Even though you loved her, you were not even ready. Now its time to let her move on by doing what is right for her. You had your chance. Now its time to let her have hers. So plz give her this chance.
    Men should learn that you cannot have a woman sitting around forever.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Time waster. So we should feel sorry you. Mr man, leave that girl alone. Because the girl has finally met someone, you're hurt. You want her as "friend". I wish I could slap you eh.

    Anyway, thank you for not having sex with her. At least you have your good side.
    I wish I could slap the girl though. What is she confused about? She'll end up losing a good man because of her indecision. How does she think the other man will feel when he knows this nonsense?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmmm why do i feel the girl is the one that have refuse to give the guy her virginity and the guy is tired of trying to convince her to give in. Maybe that is the reason for the breakup.

      Delete
  16. Losing genuine friendship is so painful. I have been there. I will advice you to move on already and pray you find happiness again with another. Sometimes we learn through the hard way.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ntooorrrrr foolish time waster.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oga park well abeg..

    Dante

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes ooo. Park very well. Roll up all your windows.

      Delete
    2. Show your particulars

      No extinguisher?
      Hmmmm, you think we are here to play?

      Park well my friend

      Delete
    3. On your light as well. Lol

      Delete
    4. 😂😂😂😂
      Chai!!! BVs

      Delete
  19. Poster I feel for you but what will be will be. Just cheer up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Continue crying..... Sorry ooo na tough love I sabi.

      Delete
  20. You don't love her because you don't know what love is. You're a selfish and wicked soul. FR. I understand your not telling her about the gambling ish while you were going through it. Men don't want to be too vulnerable with a woman they're eyeing; it happens. But if you were a decent fellow, as soon as your gambling thing was sorted and you saw green light after opening up to her, you'd have moved mountains and crossed rivers to make it official with her. You're a time-waster sent to put drama in the life of an innocent lady. A real ass-hole. The real reason you're crying is that there's nobody for you to play mind f*ck games with. Abusers cry when they sense their hold over their victim is waning. I hope she's able to completely break free from you. Please, stay away with your darkness, from God's precious daughter and go to your type - the ones you meet at your job fit you better.

    OA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This person seems to know the poster.
      Well done ooo

      Delete
    2. Anon 19:07 Actually, I'm sure I don't know the poster. If I did, I'd have called him out by name, reported him to the girl's family, AND sent Stella an email

      OA

      Delete
  21. Pls let her go Mr Time waster...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Uncle let her be, one day at time bro, resuce the number of times you call her, it's a matter of time, you will not miss her anymore.

    I can bet my dinner that you are still a gambler, I am happy for her for not ending up with you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oga...there's a saying "you don't know the value of your buttocks until you have a boil on it"...deal with it she has moved on.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I once had an ex who was psychologically abusing, he had terrible trust issues, if he calls and the line was engaged he’ll want to know who it was, he always accused me of seeing other guys, he wanted to know everyone i was chatting with, dude finally cheated on me, I begged, cried, got depressed, yet he moved on. I got a job, where I met other guys, freebies here and there, so I met this guy who loved me to bits, I was at the verge of saying yes to a new relationship when my ex came back begging, so I concluded that the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know, we got back together and I let the other guy go, the truth is that the devil will continue to remain a devil, the day he tried to hit me was the day I signed out permanently from that relationship and gradually I broke it off and resisted all forms of pleas from him. Poster, let her go, you just want to use her a fill a void without filling hers, leave her be!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They always want what they cannot maintain

      Its called covetousness

      Delete
  25. If you really love her, please let her go.

    ReplyDelete
  26. God u gave that girl a new man.Lord get me a new man to shame my enemies

    ReplyDelete
  27. Poster, plz today is Sunday. Holy Ghost fire is available for confused fellows like you. Nonsense!! Leave her alone and get your messed up life, fears and addictions in order. Mtchew

    ReplyDelete
  28. Poster, if you can, go get your girl. Fight for her. Do not let the love of your life go. Go.!! I wish you good luck. Please, come give an update if you do get her back.

    ReplyDelete
  29. You don't know the value of what you have until you loose it. Dear poster, if you are indeed sure you love this woman, please fight for her, I believe you know her worth, it's not easy to find a good woman. Who knows deep down in her heart, she just wants you to prove to her that she's the woman for you. Pls Fight for her, don't let her go.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Poster move on and leave that girl alone. You want to eat your cake and have it and that's selfishness You only want her now cos u can't the fact she can actually find someone else and be happy. If she comes back to you on her own, fine, use your brain and protect, love and keep her for life. If she does not, face front and keep it moving.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Mtcheeeew..... Local man is in love with himself. This is what happens to men who cheat, has no bearing, cannot focus on one lady. As the lady waited patiently you refused to grant her request, you didn't even explain to her anything partly from being friends. You acted like a mini god, like without you no one will love her. So you are expecting her to keep waiting for you on a Friend level till after 5 years then you send her wedding card, the babe is so smart.
    Local man move on and free hanty, she has find who appreciate her, next time you act fast. Bankers can so follow women and cannot even spend on them, wearing suit with big big loan debt yet Una yanga no be here.
    Goodluck as you search for fresh gf.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Let that woman be! You have inner work to do and are not yet at a place to be a good spouse to anybody. Why you want to give her a broken man? If you care about her as you say then you will want the best for her even if the best is not you. You want that woman to settle for you, but you feel you deserve the best for yourself. Why not go look for a broken woman and work together to better yourselves together? In your mind Toyin should settle for less of a man and you should get a better woman than you are. Your desires are not coming from a place of love, they are completely self serving.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blunt to the point

      Thank you

      Don't be selfish
      You are not the best for Toyin

      Wish her well and go work on yourself to be a better man
      Therapy
      YouTube
      Good books& other material to overcome anxiety/addiction

      Delete
  33. Hey Mr,she was patient with you so I guess its the time to WAIT and SEE,I pray your heart desires are met!!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Incase you fight for her and get her back, if she has lost her virginity to the other guy will you still love her, or you will marry her as a conquest but resent her all your life.

    Also, will you love her selflessly as she did with you and treat her as a queen?
    Will she truly be happy with you?

    ReplyDelete
  35. Congratulations! You played yourself. If you truly love her LET HER GO. I know your type. You only want her because she is now emotionally unavailable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AKA Awon aiye

      Delete
    2. You see Stella and my fellow BVs, this is exactly what I am going through. I have been on this emotional rollercoaster situationship with this guy for 3years. I have been the one struggling to keep the situationship to see if he will get to commit to dating but nope . He is running away and wanting to have sex which I have refused.he wants all the benefits of dating but doesn't want to commit.
      God just blessed me last month with a guy who loves me silly!!! And I am loving him too. If things go well, by December we will be married . I have never been happier. Once you let go of the yeye situationship, God brings someone your way!!

      Delete
    3. All the best anon 21:48

      Delete
  36. Maybe she's given this new guy her virginity chaii. Sir, it seems you've lost her already. Take heart man.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster I want to but I'm having trouble feeling any sympathy for you. What pained me the most was when she asked you if you guys were back together and you replied with 'not yet'. That must have stabbed her in the heart after all she had done to help you. But I do understand you were not ready and therefore chose to not date her out of pity plus you also respected her bodily wise. You're not a bad person. You just need more time to gather yourself mentally, emotionally, psychologically and also prolly financially. I like what one BV said up there, examine yourself to know whether you want to be with her because you truly love her or you just miss the emotional crutch she was to you. Give it some time. Maybe now is the time for you to be patient with her too and show her unconditional support while she figures out where her heart belongs. Show her through your actions not just empty words that she means the world to you. But you must be patient. If she comes back to you, please cherish her and don't treat her the way you did in the past. Goodluck

    ReplyDelete
  38. E be like say you be demonic agent.
    You don't want her, but now she's moved on you want to block her happiness?/

    I BIND AND CAST YOU INTO THE BOTTOMLESS SEA, EVUUUUL SPIRIT. EKWENSU

    ReplyDelete

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