Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm.........








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BEGGY BEGGY MOTHER IN LAW


I just broke up with my fiancé, with our wedding date in view.


I met him 3 years ago. We got attracted to each other and we started off as friends. Right from time when we were friends, I made him to know that I want my man to be responsible and that his parents should not have this entitlement opinions most Naija parents have since my parents are working and they are supportive. We give them but they don't stress us at all. I know the effect of parental interference on a new marriage. I told him what I will and not take in a relationship before we took off as a couple. I was honest with him but he wasn't.


He told me that his mum owns a big shop while his dad works in an office. He stalled before taking me to his parents house, I was disappointed because how he painted them was not what I saw. After many months of preventing me from going to his mum's shop, I later got there to know she was a petty trader with scanty goods. He deceived me. He apologized cos he said if I knew about all from start, I wouldn't have agreed to date him.


My guy has been good to me, he is gentle, accommodating and an opposite of me in terms of temperament. I get angry a lot and say lots of bad things in the heat of anger but this guy accommodatstilly excess. We love each other but the issue now is his mum, and people. People use his weakness against him.


His mum doesn't give me a good reception anytime I visit them but I did not mind. Last year, she called me and begged me to give her 20k. Well, I thought she wanted to use it to offset one of her son's hospital bills. She begged me not to tell my guy but I later did after some months. Another reason why I gave her that cash was that his son(my guy) gave me huge amounts the previous month to add start up my business. I later told my guy and he flared up and confronted his mum cos according to him, he gives her money. I told him because I don't want her to repeat that incidence. After the confrontation, she carried face for me and I restricted my movement in their house.


Later, I noticed some changes in him. Someone that normally gives me 10k for Tfare if i want to visit him reduced it till it got to 1k. Later it stopped and he kept on reminding me how I also work. He started coming up with excuses of house rent that will not due in 11 months. I never thought it as a big deal until I have to fight before he buys something in the house. He no longer do dstv subscriptions ( he did full package in the past) I later snopped and got to know that his mum bill him and that is affecting the little thing he ought to do to the house. He works and have side businesses.


When he rented the apartment and furnished it, I gave him 50k to assist in furnishing the kitchen. I told him that the kitchen is small and tight but he said his mum said the kitchen is okay and that why do we need a big kitchen. I kept quiet. I don't reside in their base but the kitchen stuff he got wasn't what we discussed and what I wanted. I complained about it and dropped the issue because he went to the market with his mum to buy substandard things.


I had to stand on my feet before he dropped the amount he dropped for our small introduction. He first insisted that I buy my clothes myself. But I stood my fought him before he did normal. The groom is supposed to cater for his bride's clothings. I see how my elder ones did theirs. If it were to be before, he would gladly do all those things without complaints. I got to know that he is giving his mum 80% of his business proceeds. I saw where his elder brother told him that he can't choose a woman over their mother.


Three days ago, I called his mum and sent 5k to her (so that it won't look as if I am the one not making his son to see look at her side again). She told her son, and she called to thank me and prayed for me for two days. Could you believe that my mil called me today again to ask for another 20k. I was closed to tears but I told her that I don't have. I told her son about it and he put a call through to her and begged me not to be angry cos the mum do embarrass them about with the way she takes loan and beg for money about. The mum begged him not to inform their dad and she promised not to do that again. But she also promised the last time but repeated it again.


He later confessed that she has been the one taking all his money and that that is why he has been broke. He said he alwus try to balance things up but I see no balancing. I was angry cos I rem how I do have to nag before he do things of 1k to the house. It is like his mum doesn't want him to get married, and all her children are boys. I don't know what they discussed but she called me back twice. When I called her back, she lied that she has seen the amount she asked me from her friends, and told me not to worry again. My guy has been apologizing to me and I am still pissed cos this guy owes me 30k from the business he is managing for me yet he has money to be giving out to our own inconvenience.


I told him to go and marry his mum if he can't have his stand to know who should be his priority. If I marry him and we want to give birth, I'm sure he will give the money to his mum rather than using it to offset our hospital bills. That is the way the situation is at the moment. I told him to pay off and we should go our separate ways. Our wedding is fast approaching yet we haven't bought anything but his mum has been collecting thousands from him. 



He is a bv and i'm sure he will see this. I have plans to inform my parents about this issue tomorrow and to cancel the wedding. He has called and begged not to tell my people cos according to him what his mum did was a shameful act.


I am a woman but none of my parents have once called him to ask him for money. He also made mention of this when he was apologizing. We don't do this in our house and I don't want to face all these in my marriage. He knows my values. The painful thing is that he is also suffering in silence. His elder brother relocated to a far place to avoid all these drama. He said he knows that people will advice me to leave him but at this juncture, I am fed up.





*Sigh*..... what a pity but is calling off the wedding the best thing you can do?

168 comments:

  1. Stella you might think its not so big,but sometimes these people will suck the life out of you financially. Its best not to start what one cannot finish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Reading through this chronicles disgusted the living shit out of me! You're wicked! You're selfish! You're greedy! You're condescending! You're everything trouble! God forbid that your type will come my way!

      See how you were fighting tirelessly to separate a son from his mother! I'm utterly disgusted at your mentality!

      When I started this chronicle, I even thought you had money. But it's the 5,5 thought, 20k that you were making noise about!

      Thank god you separated from that man! Leave him the f**k alone! Jeez!

      In the ending part of your chronicle, it became very clear that you've succeeded in wrecking and disorienting this man's life!

      Godforbid!

      Delete
    2. You said you're working and earn your money, but yet you nag him into giving you money. You then try to stop him from giving his mom money.

      You've only known this man for 3years! And as you said yourself, you saw the petty shop the mom relies on. That shop apparently funded the upbringing of that guy!

      But Instead, you undermine her effort, you insist on stopping him(ur man) from sending money to his mom!

      Tụfịakwa gị!

      If you were really as good and faultless as you appear to claim, then why not come up a more constructive way to make him reduce the way he reembusses her, like making her become stable enough so she doesn't have to always rely on the son.

      She trusted you not to tell her son, but instead your insecurities made you break it, siting that 'you don't want her to repeat it'.

      Did she stop after reporting her to her son?



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    3. please let that guy go. he is playing both sides and the mum will forever be a thorn in your flesh. on top wetin? let him find his wife in front abeg

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    4. My thoughts exactly. I thought she was earning much only to see that she was collecting transport money from him. Madam!!!!!! Let him take care of his mother. Just have a limit he sends to her monthly.

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    5. Poster since this is a big deal for you and you discussed it with him, please end the relationship, why I am saying this is because men have long memories and at a point he will say you dislike his family, and it will cause plenty gbege.

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    6. Sorry to say but the both of you don't belong in the same class. You guys have different ideas and upbringing and unfortunately for your guy is from a dependent home. I will advise you to end it cause it will cause a lot of problems in the future the family will see you as a stumbling block as the one that is not allowing their son to help them. Be wise and end this relationship for your own sanity in the future

      Delete
    7. It’s better you part ways with that poor man before anyone gets irredeemably damaged.

      What manner of discussion or rules and regulations did you outline for this poor man that he had to hide the true conditions of his parents just to be with you?

      There’s a way you could have approached the issue the very first time his mum asked you for money and the narrative would have been different today. You rather reported her to her son and she ended up showing you who is the boss in his life. Shebi if you had followed her with wisdom, you’ll end up being the one to control how much gets as you’ll be collecting from her son and giving her, that way you’re okay with both parties.

      Can you deal with a man who spoils and gives only you but has your type of temper and is an exact opposite of this man you’re about to leave?
      Displacing a man’s mother in his life doesn’t just happen o. He must see the mother in you, knowing you can care for everyone that means something to him adequately before his loyalty starts shifting. At that point he knows your decisions are not based on selfishness but on fairness to all parties.

      Delete
    8. God bless you the Web. .. dis poster is heartless and wicked. Your will make sure dat her mother in law will not visit her son or gain anything from him after marrying Jezebel like u. May God give u a daughter inlaw dat will not allow urself to take care of u. Wicked soul!

      Delete
    9. Hmmmm...d worst type of man to marry is one tied to d apron of his mother. The truth is poster is shocked because she wasn't raised like that ND isn't used to it so maybe she didn't handle certain things well enough. I also feel she is protesting d mum's continuous interference in dier lives and not just d monetary aspect.
      I'm sorry to say that marriage will not work o. A man that cannot create boundaries is d worst sort to be with. There is a way he'll handle d mother too dt will show dt he is no longer single but planning for responsibilities without involving poster which is what he did by confronting d mother.
      Also from the narrative, we see dt poster is short tempered but I'm sure she has her good qualities too which is making d man plead for her to return but everyone in dt family will see only her weakness and unfortunately her hubby will add to it.

      See ehn last Las,d man and his family will gang up against u an u'll be d bad persona so no matter what happens he'll always be right while u are wrong.
      He'll cheat,beat u and do more ND dey will excuse it and tell d world u are d problem.....He will table ur case before them like a dish
      Better Flee from that family and never return.......I'm here wishing I did oh ND my MIL also has only boys.
      God will help us all.

      Delete
    10. Fiance of Poster, if you are reading this, please let go of this lady.... let her look for her husband elsewhere, since she feels so entitled to your money and you guys ain't even married yet!!!! Poster, so you want your MIL to go begging on the street or what? I dont gerrit, shouldn't her son be helpful to her financial needs? You are not yet married and you are having this kind of sick mentality, please let the poor man be!

      Fiance of poster, run from this lady. God will give you your own wife.

      Delete
    11. Poster I put it to you that ure mean’ proud and arrogant. Didnt u see Dangote’s son b4 u decided to date this guy? From d moment u knew his mum was a petty trader u lost respect for her. ( she come kuku add begi begi join her own to mk matter worse).


      Poster’s fiance if ure reading this let this poster go but pls call ur mum to order, its truly embarrassing to say d least and pls learn to stand on ur feet n say NO to her sometimes.

      Delete
    12. What do you mean by "she was a petty trader with scanty goods". What is your business with what your mother and father in law does for a living? You are not a good person at all but remember one thing, that woman suffered to train that boy. Every parent deserve to eat the fruit of their labor. You are immature and not strong enough for marriage. I feel for the gentle guy.

      Delete
    13. Did you rewd where she said the guy told her his mum has a big store... Poster pls don't marry that guy

      Delete
    14. Mother's are naturally clingy and usually mingle in their son's lives.
      If she runs to her son for financial help,so what...? Will you share the same view if she was your mother?
      Poster's Fiance,You need to set a fix amount you can send to your mother monthly.That is what I do and it has worked for me
      Secondly, Poster, you and that guy aren't compatible
      You'll end up having issues in all aspects of your life














      Delete
    15. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WHAT THIS POSTER IS SAYING. SHE IS NOT SEPRATING MOTHER AND SON. THE WOMAN IS NOTORIOUS FOR BEGGING AND BORROWING MONEY UPANDAN WHEREAS SHE GETS FROM HER CHILDREN AND MAYBE HUSBAND. THEY'RE ASHAMED OF HER. EVERYONE WHO KNOWS HER KNOWS THIS. SOME WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT. NA DEM.

      SHE IS ALSO MANIPULATIVE AND INTRUSIVE. CAN YOU SEE HOW SHE SPENT POSTER'S 50K ON SUBSTANDARD KITCHEN EQUIPMENT???

      SHE IS RUDE AND ILL-MANNERED. WHY WILL SHE BE CARRYING FACE FOR THE GIRL BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T GIVE HER MONEY? IS SHE A BANK? DOES SHE NOT HAVE 'SONS'?

      THE SON KNOWS HIS MUM. THAT'S WHY HE'S BEGGING THE POSTER.

      DEAR FIANCE, BE A MAN AND DRAW BOUNDARIES BEFORE YOUR MUM MESSES YOUR LIFE UP. I HAVE SEEN THIS PLAYOUT A COUPLE OF TIMES.

      POSTER, RELAX. YOU MIGHT BE SHORT TEMPERED BUT IT'S NOT A CRIME. GOD WILL GIVE YOU A MAN THAT CAN COMPLEMENT YOU!!!

      Delete
    16. poster why reply yourself? pls let the guy go and look elsewhere..

      Delete
  2. Hmmh.. Just observing! Na wa oooh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Consequences of dating, engaging and marrying slay queens. They are empty and have nothing upstairs. See the petty write up. No intelligence, no maturity, nothing to offer.

      Mtcheeeew...

      Delete
    2. Sapphire, allow her none of us will live with them if they eventually marry. It is not what she wants, she should leave the guy, because if she marry him, there is nothing she will do about it.

      All these mother in-laws can go to any length to deal with who want to take food away from them.

      Delete
    3. Thank you Saphire you said it all. Aunty 'entitled' free the poor guy abeg. You are the epitome of kind of girl guys should run from. Purely toxic.

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    4. Very toxic human being. Tufia!

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    5. Very very toxic human. From your choice of words, I can tell the kind of person you are. Pls leave that guy alone and go look for someone who will not take care or his mother so that he can be with you. You are a woman oh and you don't know what tomorrow might bring. Yes it wasn't right or the woman asking you for money,but there are better ways you could have handled the issue. You don't even sound like you love this guy so please waka.....

      Delete
  3. Hian... This one get as e be o. My only advice for you is for you not to start what you cannot finish. Your mother inlaw can never change but you can live with her by setting boundaries. Do not call off your wedding.

    ReplyDelete
  4. better a broken engagement than marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a shirt size 17, your guy is neck size 13.There's absolutely nothing wrong with both sizes, but they don't match. Move on sister or you'll have a very terrible married life. There're enough stress in it already, don't add money matter to it.

      Delete
  5. Poster, truth is you sound troublesome. How much sef are these small small change you are mentioning? Pls leave this guy and let someone who will tolerate his mother marry him.
    You want the guy to invest in you alone.
    You are very selfish.
    This guy will be a fool if he marries you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 15:09 did you read the chronicle to the end?

      Delete
    2. Lazy youth. Learn how to read properly.

      Delete
    3. Back off, please. Must you comment. If you have problem with comprehension, that's your problem. It's bvs like you that do not practice what the preach.

      Did you finish reading the post? Lazy reader like you that gets scared upon seeing lengthy posts has no moral right to comment if you did not finish the post.

      You can jump and pass any post that is big for you to read and comprehend instead of showing and exhibiting your laziness, ignorance and wannabe adviser commenter

      Delete
    4. She is a troublesome lady
      Same you said his mum's shop was below your expectation. He is trying to lift her mum to s standard and you're complaining of him spending on his mum.
      Your parents may be well to do but you don't have to rub it in on ur would be MILs face
      Must you tell your boo you gave his mom money? Give unconditionally.
      If you love the guy to spend the rest of your life with him, pls find a way to balance the love for hid mum as well.
      If you can't tolerate his mom bcos of him better break off now than getting married and still resenting the woman.
      The guy is good but the mum is bad, she apologized too. What you need here is tolerant.
      But I repeat, if you can't, please take a walk NOW!!

      Delete
    5. Haba @anon 15:09
      I hope you not a woman and you dont have sisters. Imagine what you can say. If you have nothing to say then it's best you keep shut.

      It would have been different if the guy didnt have to go broke while giving to his mum. Better pray to understand when you read,so you dont say things anyhow.

      May.

      Delete
    6. stop sounding this way, until you are wearing her shoes do not say anything.

      Delete
    7. Anonymous 15:09 hope you read up to the end? Please go and reread cos am sure you did not or you didn't comprehend? Oriegwu!!!

      Delete
    8. Better don't start what you cannot finish.

      Delete
    9. Poster stop typing bullshit under anon. First off, you are very entitled. Secondly, the guy should have a fixed amount he gives his mom monthly.

      I even thought you had money but you're a pauper trying to be tush. Granted, his mom's attitude is wrong but you don't sound like you are willing to accommodate his family to any extent. Abeg go and let him find his wife elsewhere.


      Delete
  6. Who know this nursery song.... There's a fire on the mountain, run run, run...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very big fire don’t be surprised she’s using jazz to collect all that money wicked woman

      Delete
    2. She better run for her life now
      Now it's money soon it will be time and attention but in all if this I blame d man
      Is he a baby that wife and mother must decide what he should do?
      Has he ever sat his mother down and told her this is what I'll tolerate ND not tolerate from u to my wife?
      And tell poster too what he'll tolerate and not tolerate from her to his mother?
      This is what being a man is about not trying to please everyone so u can be termed MR DO GOOD...... eventually all dis defend he is defending d girl will stop and he'll join his family to be insulting her and use it as an excuse to misbehave.

      Delete
  7. Hmmmmmm Whatever rocks your boat! Seems you came trouble prepared

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hmm...I see you shouldering 80% of home responsibilities In Future.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, if the story is true and not one sided. I don't see her as a bitter wife to be but she just has her preference, which we always do.
      Generally I don't like people who open shop on another, even siblings, parent nor friends.

      Delete
    2. @ blackberry,just like Ur name sound,you thinking is so shallow. Do you read the chronicles at all? wat responsible is she shouldering? can you see where she said she gave the woman 20k cos the guy gave huge sum and that makes her to give the woman that amount. so who is shouldering a responsible here? I dear her to live the guy if she will find a better guy.she is nothing but a gold digger that want to separate son and mum. there dealings is not Ur business

      Delete
    3. Man

      Man up
      Plan with your wife
      Separate mentally from your mother!

      Pray away any funny influence and concentrate on building your home

      Nobody will respect you if you don't know how to stand your ground and be firm but fair

      How can your mother be dragging you and making your wife feel insecure?

      Pray for wisdom
      You need it

      Delete
  9. Hmmm,you better run if not...That how it will continue, nothing will change.

    ReplyDelete
  10. poster the best you can do as Stella asked you is to walk away. The hand writting is bold on the wall, allow him to marry his mum. After marriage jut know that you will be the one taking care of the family because oga will give all his money to his mum, he will even make her his next of kin. I am not against taking care of your parents but do not allow it to affect our relationship, i am saying this cos i was once in that shoe.
    He will keep giving money to his mum and ypou will have no choice than to spend us in taking care of the kids. If you accept him and his mum like this just know that you will not have any reason to send chronicles to us abot your mil, take it or leave it that guy is mummy's boy. He does whatever she tells him to do, the mum will be the one to buy your baby things just write this down. The mum will be the one to tell him how to fuck you, how he should take care of you or not.

    I am saying if he cannot take decisions himself and be a man, he cannot be a husband when the time comes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. exactly...the mil will decide which job/business you should engage in, where to shop, which hospital to birth your children and then his other brothers (whom have wisely relocated far away to avoid interference from their mother) will still side with their overbearing mum over you.

      He will see this chronicle and tell you he has changed, believe me for a while you will see changes but be rest assured its only to trap you into the marriage and then he will revert to the status quo of his mum eating his money whilst abdicating his home responsibilities to you (after all, na im open biz for you)
      My dear, you better RUNNNNNN

      Delete
    2. You garrit. Poverty die die die. That's why the chasm between the rich and the poor is very wide, rich leave something for their kids and are able to take care of themselves in old age and whatever they get from their kids is a plus but the poor? Homagad they come with straw to suck out life from their children that is just starting life, their kids is their back up plan.
      Now I don't have a problem with kids helping their parents but please, that's why why the rich gets richer and poor gets screwed.

      Delete
    3. But that wasn’t the case in the beginning na. The guy was generous to her until she reported the Mum to him and the story changed.

      Delete
    4. This is so APT. Story of my life right now

      Delete
    5. This is so APT. Story of my life right now

      Delete
  11. You are seriously contradicting yourself..You mentioned Mother in law later you say my guy's mother..You are doing miss independent yet you still want money from him?? Please what do you want?? Both of you are playing yourselves..Cunny man die, cunnmy man bury am...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are always negative and bitter in post. Send yours let's critic it too. You never give a good advice. Witch

      Delete
  12. My dear póster, you've seen his weakness before marriage thank God. Leaving him shouldn't be the solution, finding ways to plan his finance with him, getting him to trust you, and being a helper should be your concern. His mom will always be in the picture, be wise and don't loose out on this marriage because of something you can sort out with effective communication..

    My parents are same, my mom is the saver my dad spends a lot, she realised this after they got married. What did she do. . She established trust, she handles his earnings, she doesn't use it for careless things but rather acquiring assets. she didn't neglect his people, instead she buys stuffs fur them from his earnings and sends for both of them.. It wasn't easy but today when my dad looks back hes grateful for the woman he married if not he wouldn't ve achieved nada..

    Don't Leave him. Find a way out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please leave him if you cant handle him..There is no cure for a mama's boy..There are plenty correct men around..

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    2. this can only happen if the guy is someone that can listen to advise and not someone that will throw away her advise and do what his mum want.

      Delete
    3. I wonder how a guy shops with his mum when he has a woman..are you planning on giving your mother the kitchen?? Is your mum going to live with you?? Be a man joor! It is as simple as that, no be only you get mama

      Delete
    4. God bless you 15:14. There was no attempt by the poster to resolve things in a different and more positive manner. She came into the relationship with this “it’s either my way or the highway” mentality. Marriage is finding enough suitable raw material and building your way through to that dream structure you have in mind.
      Don’t lose out on a good man because of things that can be worked on.

      Delete
    5. @excited..it doesn't even help with men who listens. Today I'm shouldering 90 percent of the bills in the house, cos of my husband's people, especially his brother, sisters, and father. These days he doesn't let me know when he sends sef 😂 😂. I can't move forward, because of This. I have told him we have to at least share the bills, but no no no. I am tired, and I want to leave.

      Delete
    6. Excited Courtsey, u are too right. She had dodged a bullet but she doesn't know.
      Better leave now before u spend d rest of ur life wishing u did. You will definitely regret marrying this man,see there are better men out there. Don't sell urself short cos u'll never forgive urself o

      Delete
  13. One of a womans fear would be marrying a mummys boy or a man-child that wont man up.

    Girl, that your mil to be has your mans mumu button and if he cant get out of that bondage himself, youd end up being the enemy. Youd fight battles in your marriage if you marry that guy. Its either you buckle up and prepare for the battle of get out while you still can.

    Dont let pressure or mrs title make you get married when you wpnt have peace. I'd suggest you put the marriage on hold for now and see if your man would man up, else sis walk away. As hard as that might be do it. Cause if he is like this now, he'd be worse when he settles.

    Let your man make the choice, let him protect you. No mother should have to make their sons choice between them or their spouse thats crazy biko. Sha open your eyes o and let God lead you

    May

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or*, wont*, choose*

      May

      Delete
    2. Exactly, the man doesn't understand marriage yet so leave him. He will gradually turn you into a nag and people will begin to see you as problematic when in reality he misplaced priority. Marriage will be easier if we all understand our roles and boundaries.men sometimes act like they are the only ones with mothers, if we all bring in our mum's into our marriage - I wonder how we'll get by. A pastor I know will always say,' prepare your family well before you embark on the journey of marriage' not after you marry, you start depriving your own wife and kids of their right because you must tend to your parents and siblings. If you must be a philantropist,be it before marriage. Set your family up! So they can let you be Biko!

      Delete
  14. Everything is playing out for you to see what you’d be facing in that marriage.
    Truthfully, what you are going through is exhausting. It’s like getting used to something you were never a part of while growing up.
    I understand you have standards and you wouldn’t want to go lesser. It’s good.
    Your MIL to be is a hard one. Don’t blame your man for always trying to give his mum whatever she asks of him. It’s normal with some parents but she’s going about it the wrong way. She should put some respect on it.
    Your man feels it’s his obligation towards his mum, don’t fault him that much. He is only trying to be a good kid, but he shouldn’t kill himself doing that.
    How can you ask your daughter-in-law to be for money....always?
    Even after marriage, I don’t see this going away. Except you both relocate like your man’s brother did....won’t even change much as he is someone who can’t say NO.
    They don’t change. Love is never enough.
    If you love him enough to handle his excesses, please reconsider and marry him.
    But have a plan. He MUST consider you and your kids before anyone else.
    Na good e good, e nor kill person. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lolzzz...High Standard my arse..so you think he will change cause of her..Abeg wake up and smell the coffee..The poster as well is not being sincere..She wants to keep her cake, have it and still put it in the refridgerator...

      Delete
    2. The guy should set his mum up so she rests abeg. Those the mum not have husband? Your fiance won't grow if the mum keeps biting him. Some of our mothers used a small kiosk to train all their kids but once they start making money, you still want to kill them.did they beg to be born? Haba..set a good mini super market so she doesn't ask for stipends every month

      Delete
    3. She’s not sincere abeg. How many times has the woman asked her for a loan this whole time? TWICE. The bulk of the chronicle was complaints about how money stopped coming to her and is going to the man’s mother. The guy was right in telling her that she equally works na. Shebi she said her parents are working and don’t disturb anyone, she should also not chook eye on his money until she’s properly married to him. Why must she always tell him anytime the mother asks for a loan? Can’t you form partner in crime with the old woman? Do you enjoy him scolding her and telling her all sorts? She just wants to show you that her son will pick her over you that’s all.
      The only thing I find fault with is the fact that he bought substandard stuff with your money. That is not acceptable at all. You have the right to the quality of things you prefer in your future kitchen and he ought to respect that and not doing “managing” on top another person’s money. He should also pay you what he’s owing you because he is ALSO WORKING.

      Delete
    4. If she ok she wouldve known her man is not supposed to b d me ne to go shop for her kitchen. Wetin she dey do wey she dey give d guy 50k to pimp kitchen? Why didnt she do that herself? Anything them buy for her make she take.

      Delete
  15. Matthew 15:3Jesus replied, “And why do you, by your traditions, violate the direct commandments of God? 4For instance, God says, ‘Honor your father and mother,’a and ‘Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.’b 5But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.’ 6In this way, you say they don’t need to honor their parents.c And so you cancel the word of God for the sake of your own tradition. 7You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote,

    8‘These people honor me with their lips,

    but their hearts are far from me.

    9Their worship is a farce,

    for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.’d”

    ReplyDelete
  16. You said he's a good man. You said he tries to cater for your needs...to an extent


    Your only problem is that he gives his mum more than he gives you.

    Before you came into his life, his mother was there...and he has accepted her like that.

    Small thing, you're already cancelling marriage.

    Carry your wahalla and go.

    That man deserves better than you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is his responsibility if they marry.that is the Bible and not the mother. I am not saying he should help his parents but remember, we all have. You can't deprive your wife because of your mother.your mother has a husband too. In my opinion, set your mum's shop so she can manage with it.

      Delete
  17. His mother's dimwitted feeble attempt at manipulation and greed aside, your guy is also a problem. He lies to you and i also believe he exaggerates the truth to favor him.

    You did well calling off the wedding for now, get an honest opinion from your family and pray about this. Also, your man can reply since he's also a bv.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. we are waiting for his own side of the story.

      Delete
    2. You comfortably call another person’s mother dimwitted? It is well.

      Delete
    3. those that salute you for calling off the wedding will not be there wen you will remain single till wen you become use and dump

      Delete
    4. What is wrong with remaining single? There are some marriages I see and beg God to allow me remain single if that's marriage.

      Delete
  18. But what is the woman doing with the money she collects. She has side Bobo?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably giving it to her coven and tying the whole family into her agreement with poverty. If she was using it for her shop, it would be seen.

      Delete
  19. This is the classical queer entitlement mentality of MOST Naija girls.
    So the dude should be giving you money in bags but you can't stand
    a 20k to his mom? One day you will be a mom o. But if you continue this way
    that too is ????
    You are looking for an ATM cash dispenser to marry and they are not too many.
    How about ladies working and not expecting anything for a man who they are dating?
    Until the man makes you his wife, why be the receiving one. Isn't it more blessed to
    give than to receive?
    🤐🤐Let me not talk about how I conducted myself during courtship for I've written that one
    here but I know that arrow shooters will still report.
    If you as a lady have some dignity, reject gifts/monies from a man you are dating, do
    not give sex, and study him better. Do not eat what you may have to vomit later for some
    are terrible with gifts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg leave talk,the mum's has other kids as well. Why would she demand all the time? Does she not have a shop and husband. Manipulate mothers

      Delete
    2. Please ma, I beg you ma don't tell us how you conducted yourself, conductor ko, conductor ni.

      Delete
    3. This right here is nothing but the truth.

      Delete
    4. @Melancholy
      Please ma, I beg you ma, tell me how you conducted or are conducting yourself during courtship.
      Who knows, I may learn one or two things to teach my
      daughters. No one knows it all. 😘🌹🌹

      Delete
    5. Melancholy, what's wrong with you? 😂😂😂.

      Delete
  20. Self absorbed lady, that's what I see here. Go and marry yourself...
    Nonsense chronicle..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dont mind her..very self centred somenbori...

      Delete
    2. I totally agree with Don

      Delete
  21. I don't think Nigerian women are ready to be loved right. At all. Look at this BBN..the men who are called mumu and woman rapper are those who are actually sacrificing for their women regardless of what others (including their parents) will say. From Frodd to Ike. Going against the Nigerian norm of treating your lady like trash and putting everything/everyone else before them. If Frodd washed panties, it wasn't foolish. And I don't even see Ike's sacrifice as foolish. She alone doesn't have enough. He alone too doesn't have enough. Instead of both doing sense and losing out on finals, why not put all together and buy immunity for one person? And why not buy for the person who has a higher chance at winning? (PLus who has earlier given up for him as well?) Him repaying her back is him having integrity, same way he repaid Omashola. Go and watch Al Pacino's Scent of a Woman. I have been in that same situation before and held my integrity. Not for a lover sef, for a friend. A FRIEND. I held the forte and saved a friend. But Nigerians don't know how to be a friend, talkless of being a partner. Our poor narrative continues...

    Goodluck poster!
    Nonsense, Ingredients & Boyfriends!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am telling NIB, and that mother is very troublesome and manipulative! Can't she manage her shop! I wonder what she does with money all the time and the poster is not the only child o

      Delete
  22. You are a very wicked person poster. Good riddance to bad rubbish. You will just scatter that family for nothing. See how you painted mother in-law bad simply because you do not want her own son to give her ten Kobo. Tufiakwa! I spit on your kind. U are dominating and a snake and your fiance is a weakling. Nonsense

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 15:37
      Did you finish reading the post?
      Did your spouse or sex friend deny you sex yester night? Were you chased in the dream by masquerade?
      Just asking.

      Delete
    2. 15:37, that's what the mil will make her look- a wicked woman! That mother inlaw is so troublesome! Godforbid

      Delete
    3. Is there anything else in the post if not whining about not receiving money like before because it’s now going to future mother in law?

      Delete
    4. Reading through the comments, I realized the poster is responding as anon and asking if those who criticized her if they finished reading the story.... kikikiki

      This lady must be a trouble maker. Poster BF, if you are reading this, you better run away from this person. I pity your life if you dont!

      Delete
  23. Uhmmm, dear poster its good as you stood your ground but calling off the wedding isn't the best way to go about it. Let them know you for who you are, don't even start what wat you can't finish. But, reporting your to be MIL to ur spouse for the second time is very wrong cos you already know the outcome. My MIL also used to call me for assistance but i'm doing my own for God because all her children not taking care of her expect for my man who understand the word of God, reason because mama left all of them at tender age to marry another man. Mama has apologize but motherly feelings is not there again. Case like this usually happen among we yorubas cos they believe once their son married, that is d end. My MIL once told me someone advice her to collect money from me, afterall is his sons money, i just shake my head & in my mind i said God will judge whosoever that lied against cos its my sweat.

    ReplyDelete
  24. This reminds me of my ex-fiancé's family. His elder brother who has a family will call me and be asking me to send him recharge card and money. I was a student then. If I ask my fiancee to send to him he will still call me and tell me that he wants my own. I will squeeze out and give him. If my ex fiancee was paying him visit he will tell me what to give him to bring for him. God saved me from that family

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That one na small thing na. If such people ask you collect from their brother and give them, oriegwu

      Delete
    2. @Anon.. This is my husband's family right there😁😁😁Even wives of his brothers, husbands of his sisters, cousins will all be calling to be asking me for money, after they have called my husband 😁😁😁😁😁No progress, when u marry into a poor family. I'm gradually inheriting poverty sef😁😁😁

      Delete
  25. Jeez poster you have not even entered and all this!! I pity that guy more. You are the type of woman that will marry a man and make him stop talking yo his family entirely while yours come to your house. I just pity that guy

    ReplyDelete
  26. What does the mother do with all the money? It's not as if her shop is full or she is paying her debts. And they do not want the father to know. What are they hiding?

    By the time home man will realise his mother is a user, you guys will be well into your 15th wedding anniversary

    Dialogue is supreme. Talk things over. Let him know how uncomfortable you are with the mother's interference. You might even threaten to tell his father if it continues.

    Better be embarrassed than be disgraced.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Dear poster dont start what you can't stand. Your guy begging you at any little arguement now is as a result of the fact that you guys are still dating. Wait let him marry you that's when you will know that he is a real mummy's puppet. Imagine at his age, his mum still accompany him to the market to buy his needs, is he a baby?
    Have you ever thought of some difficult marital situation that may arise in future in which you will need ur husband and his family support? Do you think this ur husband to be and ur MIL in questions wil be able to stand by you?
    Anyway you are the one in the relarionship, you know better than us, just do whatever make you happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As innnnnn....this is my husband and his family right there. His mum controls and manipulates all of them. Tells everyone different accounts of a story if she demands for something from u and u don't do it uare disrespectful,rude,proud and arrogant and she even told me she'll show me d kind of person she is.
      Now d person I call husband too has changed, cheating from one girl to another,no longer doing his responsibility as a father and husband and I even found out he has been reporting me and all my actions to them.

      Marrying a mummy's boy is d worst nightmare of a woman

      Delete
  28. The problem is that your husband to be is shaddy. Going about hiding things from you. Having discussion about you with his family members without defending you.
    I truly dont see anything bad in giving money to his mother or his mother asking you for money. That your parents dont ask doesn't mean everybody should be like your parents. We should be able to accommodate one another to be very honest.
    What you should do is to work on openness between you and your man. Discuss what's fair to give and not to give and the giving should go through you. Control the narrative.
    He shouldn't have to choose between you and his mum, everybody can be on the same page if you control it.
    If you cant get on the same page with you man, which is in this case transparency then you should leave the relationship.
    Please stop walking about filling like this relationship is beneath you. That you came from a comfortable home doesn't mean others are not struggling. Best believe that people who grew up struggling have a sense of responsibility to one another especially their mum.
    Please allow him to give his mother money biko my sister. If she begs you and you dont have, please say you dont have doh nne. And let your man give her money through you so that you are sure of the amount. You get...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oil dey your head 15:51. Wisdom would have made a lot of difference in this narrative.

      Delete
    2. God bless you 15:51 for this.your oil will not go dry and your garment will not be stained there will be a full and fresh outpouring of the holy spirit on you daily. wisdom .

      Delete
  29. In my opinion, I think you should postpone the wedding by a year interval from the proposed date.
    Then, watch closely and observe.
    After 6 months, if he has changed or not, you will know.
    Also, try and get to know how much income he makes on the average on a monthly basis (from all his source of income ) and what it's used for.

    You have to help him overcome what his mom is doing to him.
    A portion offcourse should be for his parents and others into investments and savings.
    Let's pray the mom hasn't jazzed him. I know her type. She will never relent to collect all the income of her children Nd control them.
    Come to think of it, what is she doing with all the money?.
    Also, let him involve his father, if not, the mom won't stop.
    And get ready, the woman will always dislike you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the guy is a bv, he can decide to prettnd that he has changed and after wedding night drama unfold.

      Delete
  30. POSTER, YOU SOUND SO SELFISH, DO YOU KNOW THE RELATION BETWEEN HIM AND HIS MOTHER BEFORE NOW? WHY DO YOU WANT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT HIS MOM? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT YOUR GUY DRAIN FROM THEIR POCKET BEFORE HE BECAME HANDSOME GUY AS YOU DESCRIBE. LISTEN ALL OF YOU THAT ARE SAYING MUMMIES BOY RUN AWAY MIND YOU, YOU WILL HAVE A DAUGHTER INLAW THAT WILL TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU TREAT YOUR MOTHER IN LAW NA TURN BY TURN.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dont mind her..mgbeke feeling funky..Low grade standard!!

      Delete
    2. Na only him get mama abeg St shouting. He should marry his mother na..did he beg his parents to give birth to him? is he their only surviving child?can't she invest the one she has been taking into her business?I the guy is not ready to marry then he should stay and build his mother before marrying. Everything, you ppl will keep shouting do you know their relationship..is the mum the only parent he has that she won't allow them rest. Why is the dad not disturbing like his mum. Troublesome mother inlaw

      Delete
    3. no body is saing her bf shouldn't give money to his mum, all we are saying is that he should know how to treat his gf, treat his mum. He should not spend 80% of his money on his mum and leave her to feed him and the children.

      Delete
    4. So if this posters parents also starts demanding, it means both won't even have money to eat. This entitlement mentality of African parents is just wicked. They will drain u from right from when u are a kid, and follow u into your marriage. Because they always have this mentality they have done u a favour by bringing u into this world, they will keep sending u on errands like some slave. They will even tell u to thank God, that they have even been able to give u something to eat, just cos u complain u want more food. They will threaten u with school fees, and they will keep reminding u about how u have to bury them in future. They don't want u to live your life. The mansion they couldn't build, they want u to build for them. They don't even care that u have your own kids. You have not done a child a favour by bringing them into this world. It is the other way round. When u bring a child into this world, it is your responsibility to cater for them, without expecting nothing back.

      Delete
  31. Lol. Cancel the wedding immediately. You don't seem to understand what you're about to enter. His mother is a witch who will destroy you if you marry him. Who knows which covenant she has made? How can any mother be comfortable doing such to her children and una think say na clear eye? Mother that has bewitched her children, sucks their destiny yet she isn't prospering. Get ready to make MFM your permanent base if you marry this man. Tomorrow, people will say you're being a bad wife cos you don't tolerate her or love her like your mother. And your guy will keep begging you to manage. If you've already seen where his brothers say he can't choose a woman over their mother, please those boys should marry their mother. Just introduction, he showed himself. Get ready to pay for your traditional + court + church wedding cos you will marry yourself and he will just show up to answer husband. Then, you will pay for everything to do with pregnancy and childbirth. And your MIL will still look for a way to take from that money. You know deep down that you've not found husband. If you can pay back the money he gave you for your business, do so. Leave the money for kitchen and house things for him. But do NOT marry him for any reason.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster take this advise oooo

      Delete
    2. The gospel truth

      Delete
    3. How can you call someone's mother a witch. Are you okay?? Why i don't blame you. I blame the guy who saw this useless poster and proposed to her. I pray that guy calls of the wedding and get a better down to earth woman to marry.

      Delete
  32. It is a big problem o. You need to fasten your sit belt to enable you handle more issues in this soon to be contracted marriage cos as it is presently your man is the weakest ,he can't stand for himself & what he believes in. He allows his brothers & mother to dictate what he should do & my dear that is bad market!
    So choose your way now else no sending of future chronicle about this guyman.
    You will practically become an enemy to his family & even to him by the time you marry him & then keep opposing them. It will only take the grace of God for you to survive in the marriage. If this guy was wealthy,like really loaded I would have suggested you let him spend his money on his family & you, that way no body will suffer, but now you know the conditions choose your way!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. When a person doesn't have contentment, there are usually other demons tied to this character flaw. Things like envy, emotional manipulation, voodoo practice, lying and stealing. Don't listen to anyone here asking you to stick with him. Some people will even tell you that she is an old woman and you will outlive her. It is wicked people who live longer sef these days. His brother has sense and was giving him bad advice against you, while he moved far away from you people.
    Most issues become magnified after the wedding. He is soft pedaling to save his mother's name and face, and not because he really feels what she is doing is bad. She has him hooked on her finger tips. His soft spot for her will not go away o.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hmmmmm this marriage matter ehn, no be here ooo. Mayb you both should go for marriage counselling first.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hmmm my dear better take a walk!!! I neglected all these signs, when I was dating my hubby his mother stopped by and hubby gave me money to give his mum , I did, do you know that this woman thanked me got home called hubby to tell him that the money was not complete? Hmm I should have taken a walk but I didn't, today that woman is a pain in the clit. Today she is asking for garri, tomorrow its soup money, give her Ankara she will ask you for money to sew it. Give her plantain she will ask for money to cook and prepare it. Always monitoring my marriage to know what is happening all her sons are States away except us. My husband has tried all methods but to no avail, he's still giving her money which I don't object to but when I recall the stress I have been through because of this woman I regret not taking a walk. Years has passed yet this woman won't change. Now I buy fuel, buy foodstuffs, buy toiletries and my hubby wants me to also pay school fees. I am planning how I will leave him honestly. My mil controls millions from time to time oh but can never save so its not like she's poor. She has properties she's collecting rent from. Who spends 1.5mil in less than 6months? After that she will be sending strangers to us that she has not eaten. In fact I'm looking old because of stress. I honestly regret not taking a walk honestly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you see what i said up there. Poster i hope you and your boo will see this, do not sell your self esteem cos you want your mil to love you. Game way go cut go cut period.

      Delete
    2. Poster hope you have read this.If you and your husband can come together and agree.Your both parent should be placed on monthly salary and both of you should use the remaining money for family upkeep and savings.If you allow this to continue without you guys tackling it.I see you footing 80% of the family bill when you get married.

      Delete
    3. Okay na! You don't hear this confession..forget what all these opposing advises.i love you poster and I understand you.courstesy and I have tried in supporting you because we understand deeply. It's your life mehn! When you start suffering all these bvs won't help oo

      Delete
  36. Poster but all what i read up there is Money, Money, Money. Do you really love this guy? cos I'm not seeing any affection in your writing.. He told me the mum has a big shop and dad works in office, what i saw i didn't like at all Ewoooo guy you don jam

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come this anonymous 16:29 , so she should tell about the lovey dovey part right? Smh. She came here to share her problems which revolves around funds. Don't you know that this can scatter a marriage if not handled properly? Nigerians always bringing sentiments and refusing to address reality. Omaasé oh

      Delete
    2. So if he told her his father and mum are chief magistrates and she finds out that they are just high court judges, she should not ask questions so that you Mrs judge Judy won't judge abi? Then the guy who painted the parents to be what they are not , was trying to achieve what again??? Being real and being fake which one should be frowned at again?

      Delete
    3. Come this anonymous 16:29 , so she should tell us about the lovey dovey part right? Smh. She came here to share her problems which revolves around funds. Don't you know that this can scatter a marriage if not handled properly? Nigerians always bringing sentiments and refusing to address reality. Omaasé oh

      Delete
    4. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Delete
    5. No mind the anon16:26..money is the vital aspect when it comes to marriage abeg

      Delete
  37. This is wrong on all level but in Africa, Nigeria, this is the culture. How can a full grown man be giving his mother 30% how much more 80% of his income when she is not God. How does she expect him to stand on his feet, be a man and raise his own family? This betrayal just has to stop. Imagine the foolish brother saying he cannot choose babe/wife over mum. So the Bible that says "a man shall LEAVE his father and mother and CLEAVE to his wife" is a lie. I am not against carry for ill-prepared parents as this is the trend here because I also take good care of mine. But I know that anyday I marry, my spouse and children will come first. Mother In-law, demand everything but come near my money and I will give you serious nightmares. I work for every penny and believe my husband should and must take good care of me as my dad did my mum. I will support him to achieve all he sets out to achieve and become. But will not tolerate nonsense and ingredient entitled in-laws even them like make the whole village, community and state sponsor his education, na their cup of garri be that, rubbish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The mother is comfortable taking 80% of her son's business revenue and someone will say she's not a witch? When you put 80% down, on what will the business survive? He's giving her profit plus capital. And the brother saying their mother should come before wife, lives far away with his own family oh!

      See people saying the poster wants to cause separation between a mother and her son. Before nko? Nigerian men want to die on top submission matter but "leave and cleave" that is in the first book of the Bible, they can't. Any fool that's not ready to leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife should marry his mother abeg.

      Delete
    2. 16:34 Didn’t you just say you take care of your parents well but “ANY DAY I MARRY, my spouse and children WILL come first”?

      Does he have a spouse at the moment?
      He will CLEAVE when he leaves his parents AFTER the wedding.

      Delete
    3. 👏👏👏. Dont mind them!

      Delete
  38. Hahahaha this your headline self na wa. Beggy beggy mil. I hope that is not what you store as her name in your contacts.

    I remember someone that plays zebrudaya song on his phone when village people calls. Once the phone rings with that tune, you know it is someone from the villagee

    ReplyDelete
  39. Wow.. some comments here, even got me more than the poster.

    @Poster, let me understand this, u r upset with ur man because he keeps giving his mum HIS money?
    ok , let's reason together.
    You met this man 3 years ago, so we can assume that he started helping his mum way before he met you?that means this is what he knows and feel its right for child to do for their parent, perhaps,knowing where they started from.The same petty trading made him the man he is today, the man that u r attracted too
    So he's met you and u expect him to stop?Don't u think that is a tad selfish ?No that is very selfish in my opinion.
    Admittedly,the mum had no business asking you for money and that is wrong and embarrassing , but a woman that loves the man , should also love the family and be happy to help once in a while, if she has .
    Yes,hevshould never have lied to you, infact that should have been a red flag to him when u proposed such at the beginning, but u know how they say men think with what is btw their legs, so he obviously let his attraction/infatuation get the better of him

    My conclusion.
    Both of you are not well suited at all, and to prevent big issues in the future,it's best u go ur separate ways. U will find a man that shares the same values as u and he will also find a woman with the same values.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yaaaaaaaaasssss

      Delete
    2. The day this posters parents also start demanding, it means they won't even be able to feed oo. We are all very close to our parents, but the Nuclear family comes first. There is a reason the other family is called.. Extended... They are just an extention one can do without. Not only men's parents are important, the woman's parents are too.. but first things first.

      Delete
  40. this kind of marriage you will end up being the enemy, he has to stop , he needs to let his mum know his capability, let her know he doesnt have much cos some mothers see their children as millionaire
    not knowing he has nada.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Poster be wise because its the same BVs that will still say in a few years time , "didnt you see all the signs before you entered?"

    ReplyDelete
  42. The lady is nothing but japaness witch

    ReplyDelete
  43. I was in your shoes 13 years ago, my boyfriend at the time was a good man but his entire family will milk him and also milk me dry. I was convinced the only reason they wanted me to marry their son is because I come from a wealthy home. My ex has relocated to the US, he is married and I am also married with two kids. Yet, his mum and sister (who is also married by the way) continue to call me till today, begging for money or one other assistance. Just like your boyfriend, my ex would reprimand his mum but she won't stop taking loans from people or begging me for money. My advice to you is to call of this relationship, especially because your boyfriend gives his mum 80% of his earnings. I know it is a hard decision to make but I don't see things going well for you if you proceed with this marriage, walk away while you still can. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Brother since you r a BV here..guess you will read like she said please dont marry dis girl shes a bad person

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish he won't marry her as he will be saving her from his terrible family in future.

      Delete
    2. BV Francis1234 I know you are a lazy man! Please what you cnt take in marriage what's d point starting it. How can a man stop planning his future becos his mom beg here and there. Must women suffer becos the wanna bear MRS.... if u cnt bear it. Pls take a walk. Or get ready to shoulder hIM and his family till dey leave this earth. Why do I feel that the mom just do this intentionally just to make you leave!!?? To think the husband to be father dnt know about her begi begi attitude. My sister biko move o.

      Delete
  45. The way this was written I can't even tell if love exists in this relationship. Why would you get involved with a man whose family is lower income, this is not the family you truly want to marry into. You want to marry into a family at your level or higher, so why settle? From the moment you saw what they were and that they did not meet your standards you should have moved on. Yes, your man splurged on you, but fundamental views will override everything else. Everybody has their thing that is important to them, and if status and financial stability of your intended parents is important to you then that is what it is.

    I do not believe in having to compete with any other woman for attention or affection from my spouse and I do not care who that woman is in his life. Marriage does not fix existing problems it only amplifies them, so this matter would have to be fully resolved before you can think of marrying. If it cannot be resolved then you will have to move on.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I married in similar situation. 12 years now but filing for divorce. I paid practically all wedding bills, hospital bills for child birth and all the bills in Nigeria. Now that we are in the U.S., husband is more or less a visitor and only gives us monthly allowance which cannot sustain my mortgage but i apply it to other bills. It works but i've grown to see him as dead beat, an unnecessary liability but for the kids, and an irritating appendage. I despise referring to him as my husband. The marriage was a mistake from the start. I didn't enjoy it for a minute. I try to avoid talking with his family. The handwriting is on the wall. There are some women suited for this kind of setting, just not my type. Don't do this to yourself. It is better to be alone.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Poster flee. Oga is not ready for marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  48. He's opposite of your temperament, you are not tempered and say bad things in the heat of things. He's accommodating. My dear that was exactly my husband and I before we got married. I didn't hide anything from him. He knew how hot tempered I am. He told me he's here to compliment me and all that shit. Fast forward to after we got married, he changed completely. If I had, he will be time 2 and calls me all sorts of names. Smh. His family's financial burden is on my head because his little job is not paying well and he's still writing his licencing exam. I brought him over to the UK. I wish I could the back the hands of clock. They said marry for love, I did, and I'm regretting it. I was supposed to go back to school but I can't because I'm the only one that brings bread to the table. I would have just married the rich guy that was dying for me. Full if regrets.

    My dear, if its too much for you, call it off now. Don't be deceived gym the accommodating nature, most of them change after marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  49. The three parties here are wrong..

    The lady is not wrong to call off the marriage.. If I were you I will call it off as well.

    Before the guy gives her and gives his mum too and there is no friction anywhere.
    The mum is upset that you reported her to her son and she is showing you that you cannot come and control her son and make him scold her.
    Your fiancee should not have taken his mum to shop for your new house without your "OK" because even the mum knows you are to shop for your house yourself unless you want her to tag along.

    Bottom line is she wants you to use your money to sponsor the wedding"since you and your family are loaded"

    You should have used wisdom to handle the matter and maybe claim you have not been paid blah blah blah and see if he will not give you money.

    The mum does not want you to marry her son hence she is using tactics on her son. Even if she is owing money there can be a plan to off set it while still planning for the wedding which she must understand.

    Fiancee is not transparent with you and this is not healthy at all.. You need your man to be transparent for the marriage to work and both parties feel safe.

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  50. Walking away is the best decision you will ever make. I cancelled my introduction 2 years ago after 3 years of dating at the age 33 for similar reasons. I got married 3 months ago to someone else that gives me peace and I'm happy i didn't let age keep me in a bad relationship. Only to hear from common friends now that my ex is having the same issue with his present girlfriend. These kind of families bring nothing but trouble in marriage, you will regret it. My dear RUN. RUN. RUN.

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  51. Poster, pls borrow shoe and run, that wedding is one chance don't be surprise that after u pick d wedding date. U will start seeing d guy true color. I'm a living witness

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  52. This guy seems to be a nice guy.why calling off the wedding? You can fix this problem with going that far.You both know what the problem is which make it much easier.Just put mama on monthly salary and make it clear to her that she is not getting anything after that. However,you should get your FIL involve.

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  53. Poster you had a red flag years ago when he lied about his parents just to deceive you into dating him now you're questioning this one again?

    Truth is you both have different value systems and it will be difficult to overcome without honesty and transparency and thats already absent. Please save yourself, end things and pay attention to red flags from Day 1

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  54. This is a TOXIC relationship and the red flags are obvious...I believe you to be a condescending person from reading your chronicle..For him to have lied about his parent's status just to date you is a big NO! It would definitely affect you in the future. Also for the kind of life you said you want and hope to keep, you should be able to make enough money for yourself and contribute to your marriage as well. As far as you are not making his money with him, you don't have a right to dictate how it is spent. Pull resources together and build a monthly budget even wedding budget, if he doesn't meet up, scream foul but to be involved in his expenditure...I am concerned. Mind your own finance! Your marriage won't work because you obviously do not have respect for his mum irregardless of her attitude. Please walk away from the relationship and work on your self.

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