Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Monday, October 14, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Na wah!!!!








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ARMED LIAR


Please keep me anonymous.

 I have always been the good girl anybody would love to have as a friend or wife. I have had my fair share of relationship wahala. Always at the receiving end. Am too good for my liking and that has always being my problem. I always go beyond my limit to make whosoever am involved with happy. 



My last relationship was a disaster which I don't pray for any girl to go through. At a point, he made me lose my self esteem. Anyway, after my last relationship, i decided to be on my own despite the pressure from my parents to settle down ( they don't know how much i have suffered in the hands of men). 


I clocked 34 two weeks back so you can imagine the pressure i was under...


 I was taken to different man of God for deliverance. To my dilemma. I met hubby in Sept 2018 through his friend. 


At first I didn't like him but considering the pressure I decided to give him a chance. We started talking and by Feb 2019, we got engaged. Before then, I told him I have fibroid and he never saw that as a problem.


 Yes, I was open to him about me having fibroid and still a virgin @ 33+. 

Anyway, did you know it was after this man engaged me (i told my family members and few close friends) that he opened up to me that he is a drop out?


 I couldn't cry, I held myself and said no problem since he promised to go back to school. Before now, he told me he finished from UNILAG,and studied engineering.


 Fast forward to wedding night which was August 3rd, Mr man told me he has no house because they haven't paid salary for close to 7 months, Mrs Stella, I cried my eyes out, we couldn't do anything that night because of my weeping. 

In fact, it took him six days to break me maybe because of the anger in me. I can't tell my parents because my Dad will be mad and my mum could just drop dead. Right now,I am staying with a family but i am not comfortable even though they are very nice. 


I forgot to add that I got to know that he didn't even go to school (unj) from the family. Though you won't know because he speaks and writes well. I feel like walking away from this deceit of a marriage. Note, he is a very nice man, super caring to a fault. I just feel my good girl didn't pay me after all.


Am so confused on what to do. Suggestions will be appreciated. Thanks all.



*You dated someone you didn't visit at home?So where does he stay?Who sponsored the wedding?What kid of Job does he do?Since it is confession time,invite him somewhere and beg him to tell you what else you need to know...ASK HIM WELL ABOUT HIS GENOTYPE ooooooo..infact take him to the Doc,get the test done and wait there if possible.


I don't know whether you are in love with this man or not but my dear being married to this kind of man is like being married to an armed robber,difference is this one is an ARMED LIAR!!!

Walk if you must!!!

104 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. This is a woman who didn't do a thorough research about her man. Its good to be good, but being too good can be a problem too.

      My uncle once said if a day to your wedding you discover any thing which isn't inconsistent with what you have known about your partner, right there just end it all. Its not easy but he said the truth.

      Delete
    2. Because there will be more inconsistencies u r going to discover if you went along with the marriage..

      Delete
    3. You are not smart. There are stupid good girls and there are intelligent good girls. Brace up

      Delete
    4. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚@ doppelganger
      Ain't you right !!!

      Delete
    5. What did I just read? Am sorry to say you mumu o... To think that you kept yourself and Virginity for this good for nothing fellow.. What were you thinking that made you not do proper findings? No wonder Regina mama say her daughter na old woman... See small small girls, even runs girls settling with the best and cashing out big time... You don't deserve this at all. Better avoid being pregnant for now and think of how u can retrace ya steps cos this marriage is never going to survive, a relationship based on lies? Mbanunu...

      Delete
    6. Sorry poster. Don't even know what to say to you. This marriage pressure in Nigeria is something else. That's how an aunt was asking me about marriage last week. I am 27yrs old. Told her I am not in a hurry and she used her hands to wipe my lipstick that I should never voice that again. That if someone doesn't get married in my place you are considered irresponsible and nobody will respect you. Even when you die they will do small burial because you are single. That if a man doesn't marry, nobody will inherit his land or else they perform some traditions and bury a black ram alive on the land first, or else tragedy will befall who takes the land. I told her I regret coming from a place where they have such dirty mindset. That I will make enough money, leave the country and sign off with science to use my body for medical growth. She said I am mad. That no matter where they bury me, our kinsmen will go there and bring my spirit home. Told her they are sick but don't know it. Africans are messed up people as far as I am concerned. I am really happy I was born in a time when you can dissappear abroad if things don't suit you. If not, how I for do my people?

      Delete
    7. I like your mindset..Please stsy away from that aunt..

      Delete
  2. Every time you people come here and talk about “pressure”. You mean at age 34 you still allowed people to decide for you on a life long decision that can make or mar you?
    I’m honestly tired of hearing this “pressure” talk especially from women. I don’t see men using that as a yardstick for settling down. Women listen, you don’t need a man to live a fulfilled life.

    Imagine, “keeping your virginity” only to give it do a no do well. This man knew you and planned to marry you for his personal gain. He said all the right things he knew you wanted to hear and even when you found out the truth, you still went ahead. A broken engagement is better than a marriage built on lies and suffering. Just imagine this mess, I’m actually livid because this is sad. Deception of the highest regard, you need to get off this bus very first because soon violence will come into play because he’d always want to have his way and you already resent him.

    I repeat, get down from this bus before this man will plan your death and disappear with whatever it is you are worth. Good luck

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I follow dey livid...Poster one can be good, and still be foolish at the same time..Remember the story of the 10 foolish virgins...

      Delete
    2. So after his confession you still went ahead and consummated the marriage! You are indeed a foolish virgin.

      Delete
    3. Poster, go and meet your Priest/Bishop and ask to annul the marriage based on Deception/Deceit if you are a Catholic.

      Delete
  3. Hey God!! Which kin wahala be this...See what desperation can do in someone's life...I am sorry to say he is an NFF..The foundation of this ''mirage'' not marriage is based on lies, deceit..I dunno why ladies no dey hear word..I dont know..I dont know..How can one start life in someone's home...

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are disappointed because you expected so having given so much.

    Being good or bad doesn't guarantee success, we should always seek the grace of God .

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear ladies(and some men),
    Pls stop getting pressurised into marriage. It's way better to be single and hoping for God's plan than to marry and be thinking of divorce in less than a year. These cases are becoming rampant, all in the name of "I want to marry". Inasmuch as I blame him for lying to you,I believe you were also gullible and blinded by the "weddingcraze"...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It should be,

      Dear Parents,
      Stop pressurizing your wards into marriage..

      Delete
    2. I am just tired...People take this marriage like u cant make heaven without it..I tire o...

      Delete
    3. They are not gas, they can't be pressurised.

      Delete
    4. Yes @ dear parents !!!!!!
      Yes yes

      I'm screaming YES!!!!

      Delete
  6. You allowed desperation push you into this. You went way below your standards and settled for less.
    Did you even consider yourself before pleasing your parents?
    In all the months you guys courted, you didn’t visit him one day?
    You didn’t ask to see his credentials?
    All these you could have avoided if you were smart. You think being a good girl is all there is to life? You have to be extremely smart so you don’t get played.
    He saw you were so much in need of a husband and he presented himself to you.
    You have no house/home, you have been lied to and disappointed. For how long do you think you can stay with your friend?
    If only you had remained patient and prayerful, I am sure by now you would have gotten someone better.
    Open up to your parents already, you can’t be in it alone.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm...Please women make we get sense now...

      Delete
  7. Quite empathize with you in your plight.
    But I must tell you the truth; in all these things you wrote up there;
    Virgin
    good girl
    desperate
    under pressure
    did not like him...
    "my parents' wish"
    and so on...
    YOu did not tell us anything about your relationship with Christ the one
    that died to save you. All those things you wrote up there does not guarantee life in abundance. Jesus said that he has come to give us life in abundance John 10:10.
    It is just like putting your money in a bank and when you hear that the bank is declaring dividends, you rush
    there to collect yours. How, did you
    purchase the bank's shares?
    You got engaged to this man and he told you the truth and you did not back out but allowed desperation
    get the better of you. Yes, you could have decided not to marry him.
    Now that you are married to him, what do you want, for us on this blog to
    tell you to walk away from a fresh marriage?
    Mbanu, you can't just offload him like that.
    Find a way to build on what you chose.
    It is a pity but that is the truth.
    Some will chant offload, offload...
    that does not solve your problem, does it?
    Ajuju without esemokwu o
    🌹🌹🀷‍♀️🀷‍♀️🀷‍♀️🀷‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have officially given up on you!
      Haba!
      Can you ever advise someone without being judgemental and sanctimonious....at least once!!!!!!!!!
      Dear poster,please ignore this character πŸ‘†!

      Delete
    2. @Veteran Chikito
      You see as you carry enter my 18 yard box?
      Judgmental and sanctimonious?
      How many years did I sentence her mgbo?
      You ended up not giving advise yourself, you are
      too obsessed with shooting arrows and guns at my smooth nyansh okwa ya?
      😁😁

      Delete
    3. Yes she is a fanatic!! But she made some solid points at the end of the day...

      Delete
    4. @ pink lady, I think majority of us skip Ang’s post. Don’t even stress it. He or she won’t change.

      Delete
    5. @18:27
      Nice to know you couldn't skip it today😁😁
      Have all of you that shoot off babies changed,
      those that suffocate babies changed?
      Those that drag in and fork and snatch horsebands changed?
      And those veterans that dey marriage dey get fiance changed?
      Those that shoot arrows at anyone that tells them the truth changed?
      Let the change begin with you inugo? 😁😁😁😁

      Delete
    6. ANG’s comment is the only logical analysis in this case. The man opened up after engagement, not after wedding. There’s nothing like deceit in the marriage. She knew what she was going into.
      She said he’s a good man. She said he works, and that he really cares. He’s not a lazy jobless egotistical fellow. Why then should we judge him because of hard times?
      Besides, poster is 34 and has nothing to bring into the marriage except Bachelor’s degree, virginity, fibroid and no savings. Why don’t we judge her for that too?
      However, I think it would be unjust to judge that man without considering that in his desire to please his wife, he may have spent the money meant for securing a house for wedding ceremonies.
      Poster, you didn’t tell us how much pressure your family exerted on him to pay a heavy bride price, a lavish introduction and trad and wedding.
      BV’s, don’t be quick to judge a man based on the size of his wallet. That man up there, is a good husband material. And who says he can’t have his financial breakthrough any moment?
      He needs the love and support of his wife!
      Poster, be a godly woman and build with your husband. Don’t give up on him...
      I’m a Catholic priest, and I cannot support evil.

      Delete
    7. At Archer. Did you read the story well? I said it was after wedding he did open up to me. The only thing he told me before wedding was him dropping out which I had no problem with because he promised to go back to school. And yes, am a graduate and yes I work too. please, always go through a story well before you draw your conclusion. Thank you.

      Delete
    8. Thanks archer I support your comments

      Delete
    9. Poster don't mind archer. Is he not a man? Whether a priest or not just like don down there he will support his kind.

      Archer, you asked what the poster brought to the table except her bachelor degree, virginity and all? At least she brought something, but what did her husband bring? Tell us na? Nothing but his penis and you think that equates what she brought to the table? You even had to stylishly insult her by mentioning her fibroid situation that she also brought that to the table? And you say you are a priest? A priest without empathy who had to bring forth such a sensitive matter forward, to mock her or what? Saying someone brought fibroid to the table. FYI

      She has a job but even if she didn't,she was worth more than that man she ignorantly married a million times.

      Before you come back to give it to me, compared to me the poster who even brought a lot to the table,ask Me what did I bring?
      Godliness
      Age 29
      Virginity
      No degree except waec

      Do you know who I married? Even in your wildest imagination you can't comprehend but it's all to the glory of God, now I have all my degrees from the lowest to the highest, now I own my own company. This should tell you that, Only and who has nothing to offer bothers about what a woman would bring to the table. Real men don't care because they know she is the table herself.

      Mind you, I never deceived my husband into marrying me, it was a case of "what you see, is what you get" The poster's husband one the other hand is a liar, a very deceitful person and there is no difference between him and a fraudster and on that ground, she can decide on whatever she wants and nobody should castigate her further or guilt trip her.

      Forgive any typo or error, it's puffin

      Delete
  8. He does not have a job/ money. Marriage based on deceit . Better tell your parents. They will understand more than you think. You can walk away too cos the marriage is based on lies.

    ReplyDelete
  9. All good girls need to know that it's not just about being a good girl only. You need to have the fear of God and be prayerful not pray because you want a husband but pray because having a close relationship with God is your lifestyle that when things which your ordinary eyes can't see, God has already shown you before it happened. And also it's not just about being a good girl but you have to be smart when dealing with men else, Most of them see your good girl persona as being naive and they take advantage of you.

    I am what you call a good girl and when I hear people say, "who good girl epp" I laugh. I don't know about your relationship with Christ or your level of smartness but you didn't mention any if those. Just being a good girl without these two qualities I mentioned would only get you used. I can't tell you the number of men I met who would have used me if the only thing I had was my good girl image. Just like you I had my first relationship at 29 and got married 30 but I did it with the help of God and my eyes wide open and my brain was alert. I married well oo.
    I have the same questions stella asked you, how come you didn't figure out on time? I honestly think you should have cancelled and not let him touch you when you found out about his lies since you haven't consummate your union.

    Forgive any typos it's puffin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

      Delete
    2. Not only good..be wise as a serpent..

      Delete
  10. Societal and Family pressure!
    Poster i honestly dont have words for you!
    Do you know what Marriage is? Its to be yoked with someone! Two become One! And You went ahead to be married to an absolute stranger? Because of pressure?
    You are a crazy person!
    Now you are sending chronicles! Just imagine! Now the cross is yours to carry, where are those family and all? You bowed to useless pressure!
    Women please while marriage is important please dont let the desire for it make you loose your marbles!
    Please follow Stela’s red pen!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really dont understand some ladies...Good girl for naija area men!! You must be joking..

      Delete
  11. Please don't start trekking out yet. Sit him down and get him to open up to you about everything he may have been hiding. Then bring an update.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I can't judge him, I don't know his story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course Don. Don't judge the man till you hear his side but be the lawyer, jury and judge all at once when it has to do with a woman. 😁

      Delete
    2. DON this crown of ignorance sitting charming on your head really suits you.
      You're surely well accessorised with stupidity

      Delete
    3. I’ll choose a good man anytime any day to Dangote or bill gates you can soak garri and be happy and eat oysters with champagne and be sad choose what you want successful man or good man that you can build with

      Delete
    4. The hate Don has for women is terrible, you are a high functioning misogynist

      Delete
    5. You can have both

      Stella please raise a post on how poverty is not equals to humility

      A man can be successful and be GOD fearing

      Remember Boaz

      I repeat poverty is a blanket that rubbish character often hides under

      Delete
    6. Injustice laugh whenever you people say I hate women.
      Look, I love when but you, yes, most of you hate the truth. You prefer men tat lie to you, you see liars has the perfect men. Your stupid thinking can't change me.

      Delete
  13. I think it is family pressure that made you settle with this guy. Parents, society, culture please stop putting pressure on ladies. Churches stop telling ladies to come out to the altar for prayers if they are looking for husband. It is like the guy saw desperation in you and played along. I cannot tell you to walk away yet because cheating and domestic violent is not involved. I suggest you take him out and let him pour out his heart to you and you can decide on what to do from there. It will definitely end in praise. Good luck

    ReplyDelete
  14. After wedding you realized he has no house, are you kidding me? So you mean throughout your courtship, you never visited his house? You don't even prepare your own kitchen? I mean you don't arrange your own kitchen before wedding? So where does he told you he lives when you were still dating? Where were you meeting him all these while?





    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Obviously at Chicken Republic eateries or Friends home where he begged for all pictures to be removed so he can deceive girls...Haa!! I am so upset..

      Delete
  15. May God help you out of this,because its a long way from being free.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Honestly, lots of married women are so miserable and yet they will be abusing the older women who are still single.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Poster, tell yourself the truth. This thing you are in, is it marriage or hellfire? So you kept your virginity for this? I laugh in Spanish. You never start to suffer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keeping her virginity was great

      She only sadly gave it to a wrong person


      Never cast your pearls ( something valuable) before swine ( dirty unworthy, cannot value or treat your precious gift well, incapable of doing so)

      Delete
  18. Why won't you tell the people whose pressure helped convince you enter wahala? They themselves didn't check him out well? If he hasn't been paid for months, who paid your brideprice and sponsored the wedding?

    Please, tell your parents immediately. Your father's anger will diffuse eventually. Your mother might faint but she won't die. Nigerian parents are much more resilient than we give them credit for; after pressurising you to screw up your life, they moan and cry and ask for your forgiveness. Unless they actually engaged in witchcraft that they're confessing, they don't just die like that. And that's not your case. Tell your parents cos before you know it, your mother might call you to ask if you're pregnant yet.

    The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to tell them. And you'll find that you'd have to start lying to cover up. How long are you planning to keep staying with the nice family? Talk so that both families sit down together and open what should never have been covered.

    For women being pressured to "go and marry", if you have already hit 30, you might as well wait till the end for Mr Right. Don't allow Mr. Wrong make a mess of the waiting you have already done. It doesn't make sense to wait then enter disaster cos you "couldn't wait any longer". Verbal abuse doesn't kill.


    OA

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OA I wont be surprised this lady brought out her hard earned money to give the guy to pay her brideprice, hoping that the guy will pay once the ''job'' he is doing pays up the imaginary 7 months salary..Some ladies do that nonsense..

      Delete
    2. OA... I just want to tell you, "I love the new you". Your comments lately has been refreshing.

      Delete
    3. WEB, I was afraid she might have done that cos women do all sorts to marry. I've had the shameful misfortune of being involved in such a wedding. Bride wanted to pepper SM and prove what I don't know. Only for me to find out that apart from paying for the wedding, it's a sham cos the "bride" is (still) married to someone else. It didn't click for me till hanty tried to get me to prepare a document full of lies that will help her deceive the Catholic Church into granting her annulment from her (supposedly) previous marriage after she had done the pepper dem one with guy #2. When I confronted her over inconsistencies in the stories she was telling, she said the Catholic Church isn't like me that asks questions. I'm not Catholic but I know that getting marriages annulled in the Catholic Church is almost impossible cos even when you have grounds, they investigate and poke holes like FBI. The day it all comes out, I swear my husband is going to tell me, "I told you so."

      Anon 15:48, I'm not sure what you mean. I comment as I'm led.


      OA

      Delete
  19. Poster, Didn't you engage him on series of questions before you finally tie the knot? You discovered he didn't have a house after the wedding night.... I'm speechless.

    You never ask him where he lived? This is strange. My dear women are so wise now, they don't jump into marriage blindly anymore.

    I still find it hard to believe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Am beyond surprised..That you still allowed him to make love to you with that nonsense revelation..I will use my head to lock that his penis inside my toto so he wont be able to pull out or give him handjob till it peels like Egusi..Rubbish

      Delete
  20. How long was your courtship? You let the pressure to get married shut your eyes to questions you should’ve asked before marriage. Didn’t he visit your parents? No questions were asked? Not even where he lives or how he intends to take care of their daughter? You never visited? I guess you didn’t want to visit, for fear he’d take advantage of you. What kind of friend introduces his friend to someone, without letting them important details like these?

    Madam, it is well with you. Speak to your family about it. The mistake has been made, not just by you but by your family as well because they failed to investigate your supposed spouse. It is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. see what desperation has led you into now, so pathetic. If u have any atom of love, you can forgive and patch things up . if not .....

    ReplyDelete
  22. The marriage is built on bad foundation.. Lies and deceit. You can walk away or you can make lemonades out of the lemons and trust God to lead you.

    Just so you know.. Being a good or bad girl doesn't equate good man/marriage. Your chastity is for yourself and wellbeing, it doesn't earn you a prize. Keep yo head up, sis.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The prize is GODs approval, dodging useless problems that virgins are blissfully unaware of

      Delete
    2. Thank you jet li. I married as a virgin to the most amazing man! Thank you God! He was also a virgin and during courtship we never had to worry about things that people worry about when they engage in premarital sex. Not judging or anything but there's nothing as blissful as knowing you're doing the right thing and obeying God.

      Delete
  23. Are you sure the so called hubby himself is real? Hope no be say na im get spirit but borrowed the body. Why are people this wicked. Must he get married and put another person in dillema? Like Stella asked, how come you didn't visit him??? Please my advice is, DON'T get pregnant for now!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Pressure pressurer, pressures. Oya tell the pressurers what you are going through.

    Sorry oo. Painful as it is, you alone can decide what you want. Oh I forgot, you can't decide, pressurers should decide for you.

    Happy Mrs.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yes!
    I think Yiu should ask him to tell you everything so you can cry it out if need be. And most importantly find a way out.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Chai! Family pressure.

    My dear you know what to do,please do it.

    Forever is too long to be feeling this insecure cos that guy is a serial liar

    ReplyDelete
  27. It is very sad that our society puts so much pressure on their female children to get married. I understand the fear of the ticking biological clock and all but this is becoming too much.
    I wonder why they spend time pressing the girl child but do not take time to check out the so called suitor. They want you to get married to this guy but never took time to check his background.
    Poster, if, l were you, l will end that marriage. I know it won’t be easy but heck!! You can stay there if you want too. My question is, why did he drop out of school? Was it due to financial reasons? Was he expelled? Abi, e nor write JAMB sef? See if he is interested in going back to school and if he is, all hands should be on deck to support him. I say this because my sister got married to someone who hadn’t graduated but she had. After they got married, dude dusted himself up. Today, he’s in a Doctorate program. Na first degree my sister still get. The lies were three much sha..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abi, e nor write JAMB sef? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
  28. How do you marry a man who has not provided answers to the questions on your mind? That was how one came from France to meet me as per arrangee things. A week before he came, he has pushed all his mails to my house. Only three days visit I showed him the way out the next day. Desperation should not make you let just any man or woman into your life. Marriage should not be seen as a joke.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Same thing that happened to me and the last straw was when I found out we are both AS and he also lied about that,I wasted 5 whole years of my life but thank God we had no child....Every blessed day I wish I walked out on the day of the marriage!!it will only get worst!!!pls take a long walk your age doesn’t matter,my friend is almost 40 and pregnant for her second child with a huge fibroid.....

    ReplyDelete
  30. So he gave you information and you never did any check? Or you guys never held any tangible discussions? You never went to his place? Or his office? Are you even sure he has a job? See the importance of snooping? To avoid entering one chance.
    Ladies snoop and save yourself unnecessary headache, it's better you snoop and guyman is the type that hides information better than a cult than one takes everything at face value.
    Just know that more lies are definitely going to come out so get yourself ready.

    ReplyDelete
  31. We are quick to shout pressure. Societal pressure, family pressure, pressure pressure pressure!!! Women when will you learn to love yourselves and learn that no one completes you? Now you are in this mess and you can't even tell the family who pressured the help out of you to get married na lie oo...we must all feel it together. You have entered and you say that lying man is good to you. My dear endure na..🀦🏾‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
  32. It's like these men have mastered the game. I met one last week, he said he want to come to my house but i said we should go out. When it was time to go out, he told me that he is not within the vicinity he lives that he went to see a friend and we should meet close to his friend's house in a different direction completely just within thirty minutes of call to wait for me. Liars everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Your own is even good. I found out after 3years that the Engr before his name was a big fat lie! Had school cert only. Meanwhile he told me earlier he was doing his masters at uni. Each time I visit him in the office he took me to the Senior Staff Club. I later discovered that his birthdate -lie. People who I was introduced to as uncles and aunties-lie. Relatives that attended the wedding-hired. Catholic Church annulled the marriage after series of investigations/meeting. Men and lies eh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 😲, see stress. So sorry. Thank God for anullment.

      Delete
  34. I had a senior colleague who got married to a man mining diamond illegally at jos. Perhaps the little money he made then convinced her to marry him. He also used to break rocks, but after a while he fell very sick with pneumonia, so she made him leave jos and he relocated to where she was working. This man wore school uniform and wrote waec and jamb. He got admission, in his final year, he enrolled his wife for her degree. She was the breadwinner. He would help her bathe and feed the kids while she studied. He even wrote her project. After his graduation he started teaching, then got a graduate assistant job with the university that paid 10k monthly. With time, the university sponsored him to Malaysia for his masters and PhD. He is now a senior lecturer. He lied to my colleague that he was a business man in jos and had an OND
    Moral of story, her husband was determined to be better for himself, wife and kids. He pushed her to do better. They had just one kid while they both schooled. Is your husband ready to come clean and do better? Give him a chance, but remember, not even this life is permanent, why should marriage be permanent? Marriage is like health, sicknesses can be prevented and avoided, others can kill you if left untreated when exposed. Run away if and when you have to. God hates divorce not the divorcΓ©e

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The illegal gold miner's case is different from this. At least he came clean from the onset.

      Delete
  35. Dear poster,you already made a mistake by marrying a fake man.
    Dont blame yourself,shit happens!
    If you are truly a good girl,you would tell your parents the entire truth rather than staying with strangers you call "family".One day,den go tire for you o.
    Go back to your father's house and stay for now and avoid having sex with your hubby for now.You can take pills to avoid pregnancy until you can figure it out.
    For now,tell him to go and put his life in order while you put yours in ORDER!
    Let him go and look for another job,rent an apartment and show you a substantial amount of money both of you can start life with so that you wont be begging as a married woman!
    Separate yourself from that man and THINK of your next step!
    I wont advise you to divorce him or manage him,you should know what to do.Goodluck.

    ReplyDelete
  36. So, even the friend that introduced both of you didnt tell you the truth about his friend? You married an illiterate & an unrepentant liar!

    ReplyDelete
  37. At 34,you still married wrongly, you married a deceptive man and a liar, and you say 'you were under pressure', Aunty wtf is wrong with you.
    I thought you wouldn't have settled for less, how could you not go to his house, check his so school certificates, to be sure he is educated and also has a good job. These are the things you look out for during courtship, haba.
    As for that husband of yours, he's a wicked man, to have put you in this mess called marriage, you need to tell you parents asap, I pray God will direct you.

    ReplyDelete
  38. First of all..go and get the fibroid removed. It is very important . Next you have to find a way and build that man up. He made a mistake but you can't cry over spoilt milk. If you are working both of should go and get an apartment. You said he is nice so it is a good thing. Although poverty can make some men nice. But give him the benefit of doubt and start building with him. Do not divorce

    ReplyDelete
  39. Who introduced you to him? Who funded the wedding?

    The deed has already been done. The guy planned to marry a naive desperate woman who would fend for him and he has succeeded. I won't advise you to divorce him. Marriage is a vow made to God. All i can advise is make the best out of the situation. Have a honest conversation with him. Let him open up and put the facts about himself on the table. See the possibility of helping him be a better person. He may not have a degree but if he can develop a skill or build a business, he can become a very valuable asset.
    If after all these bear nothing, sorry, na one chance you enter.

    To all single ladies, especially the "good girls", please shine your eyes. That you're sexually inexperienced, are devoted to God or have dated only one man or no man in your life does not mean you should not be street smart. Be especially careful of men who want to marry you quickly. DO background checks. Find out about his family. Verify his educational background. Verify his work experience. Be careful of what is written on social media. And most importantly, verify his character. These may take a lot of time and effort but marriage is too important to be in it with the wrong person.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Please be good and be wise whether virgin or not having too many sex partners!
    Visit him at home, go ther unannounced, ask questions, note his body language.

    Poster, did you love him? Can you have a heart to heart talk and find out what else he is hiding?

    Lets be honest and realistic, not all will be as realistic and truthful as you are. A little lie will come up. Try and work on your marriage. I hope you are working?

    Don't let the anger stay in you for too long?

    Find a way to try and work on your marriage.

    ALl you women and men that lie though...

    Be proud of your deficiency and shortcoming.

    ReplyDelete
  41. poster i don't know what to tell you cos you allowed pressure and what family members said to push you into marrying the wrong person. Is your game so play it the best way it will make you happy. It seems alot of people are not reading this blog or they read and not understand the whole chronicles. Imagine she just entered into one chance marriage just this August, why didn't you send us this chronicle before wedding why now?

    ReplyDelete
  42. Ladies, never allow pressure push you into marriage Abeg. It is like hell having troubles that will drain and sap ur life and give u sleepless nights all in the name of marriage. Ok, now the people that pressurized you, where are they? You are alone now crying and saying what if, what if, what if.......never put ur happiness in jeopardy because of people because it is your life, you are living it for yourself not for any damn person.✌️✌️✌️

    ReplyDelete
  43. WOW! I guess you succumb to pressure of getting married and it led to you getting married to an 'armed liar' according to sdk. To my advise since the both of you are a couple I'll advise you speak with him, tell him to desist from lying and that you need a new start with him on the ground of him being truthful to you. Encourage him to go back to school or better still do something that will make him relevant in the society since he can read and write. The both of you need to put your heads together to make your marriage work not minding the findings about his educational qualification. It is well.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Madame koinkoin aka the 'peace maker'14 October 2019 at 21:24

    Hmmmmmm honestly this chronicle is making me feel somehow. poster please do not get pregnant now, until you figure things out and please open up to your parents before its too late. That shows you are not the same like your so called armed liar, finish your good girl status by telling your parents everything from A-Z.Goodluck

    ReplyDelete
  45. Chaiii poster! I really feel for you, there are lots more, ask him to tell you everything ooo, you will be shocked to still find out that, that your Mr nice might be a married man.
    I am on this pressure table now but I'm not going to yield to them.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Come this poster seems you lost your mind.with what you wrote up there you be better candidate for yaba left. Better forget any kind of pressure and leave that man. You even waited for six days for him to brake you. Lady you have lost it officially you need mental help. Ladies of today do not let marriage frustrations make you take stupid actions that you would have to live with all your life

    ReplyDelete
  47. So you are saying you married a man you never visited at home and/or at work to confirm that he has the right status and qualifications to cater to you?

    Enough of this virgin bla bla. Many of you ppl that marry as virgins spend too much time condemning girls who aren't virgins, instead of spending that time to help yourselves receive sense so you dont get deceived. Why did you even tell him you were a virgin? Of course that's why he rushed things nau. Abeg, you didnt apply wisdom. According to the bible, there are wise virgins and foolish ones.

    Ask him to be bloody honest with you because this seems like the beginning of more lies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My candid advice to dear poster is,be patient this marriage will yield a fruitful resuit ,forget about all the lies and deceit just be patient.And don't forget to be prayerful everything will fall into place every soon.

      Delete
    2. Chikito have you ever seen a virgin who has too much time on her hand to condemn non-virgins? Please it's always the other way round. All my friends condemned me and playfully mocked me with comments like"who good girl epp", jew girl", look at this baby" " what do you know about pleasing a man" but thank God it all ended in praise for me. Let's be honest please. Your second to the last paragraph was the answer, the poster just wasn't wise, this isn't about being a virgin or not.

      Delete
    3. 8:38 you are right. Even on the blog talk about how you had sex last night the styles and the number rounds you went. You will see people hailing you even when it has no bearing to the topic on ground, but mention you are a virgin, you don enter be dat ooh kikiki. The mere mention of it seem like you have shaded someone. Even when virgins sends chronicles here about mistreated in marriage or marrying a wrong man, some see it as an avenue to rob it in and tell you Auntie see your life outside despite your supposed decency. They must mock or shade you before giving their advice like the none virgins too don't see pepper in their marriages. All of una go dey alright las las🚢‍♂️🚢‍♂️

      Delete
    4. Don't mind chikito.
      I am not one of those who carry virginity on my heads and I have never had any reason to look down on none virgins cus i don't know their stories.
      For your info, I told him I was a virgin a month to wedding based on my experience with other guys.
      I have sent Stella an update. so, stay tuned. do have a great day.Thanks

      Delete
  48. Hmmmmmm...
    Firstly, being a virgin is very good but being a naive virgin? Mbaaaa! The Good Book says to be wise as serpents remember?
    My issue is how everyone is willing to take a walk at the slightest challenge.
    You found out some of his lies before deciding to do the forever walk. Why did you continue?
    To me, I believe that you both can work this out. All it will take is for you both to sit as adults and have the in-depth conversation that you skipped.
    It will hurt, yes (very much in fact) but you have to decide to forgive (it's an important key to a successful home inugo).
    May God help you to right this wring foundation you both built on. Hugs dear!

    ReplyDelete

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