Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Thursday, October 03, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmm......










STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
Evil Family Pattern



Hi Stella,

Good day to you, Stella. My post may be quite long because my story is like 2 in 1 but please bear with me.

Life was ok until when my dad died few years back in mysterious circumstances. He was intelligent, well-read, the breadwinner and the shining star of his family. He struggled to get a BSc and some intl professional qualifications whereas some of his siblings could barely pass WAEC. He won visa lottery about 20 years back but he got disqualified due to his village people at work. 



He had opportunities but most of them were wasted after telling his family members.


His siblings wanted a share of their father's properties, some of them were jobless and needed money but my father who was the firstborn refused as their father was still alive. They ganged up to kill him spiritually, and my father who never got sick had stroke, couldn’t walk and talk and was hospitalized multiple times. All these within the space of one year till he eventually died.would you believe my father and my grandfather who wasn’t sick at all died one week apart? 

Strange right?

That was just the beginning. I can’t begin to say all we went through. After his death, not even a visit from his siblings. Everyone abandoned us. He tried his best to build a house before he died to no avail. One of his lands in a good place in Lagos was sold by omo onile to someone else without his knowledge. It was after he died, we realized this and a house was already built on it.


 My mother didn’t help as she wasn’t so supportive to my father in sharing expenses even though she was working and earning good pay. she is the type who doesn’t mind spending all her money to buy clothes, bags, and shoes just to look good and get attention. She spent money on expensive clothes, phones, and unnecessary things and didn’t have savings as my father was doing almost everything. even when my father bought lands for her before he died, she sold them and spent the money. 


I am lucky that 2 of my siblings had graduated and I was also rounding up school when my father died.We are not close to my mother's side either as my mother and her siblings are not really on good terms.



Because he was a govt official till his death, we stayed in staff quarters and even after his death, we were allowed to stay for some years as we expected his gratuity and pension.Till today, I can’t say how my mother spent all the money. Everything went in a flash. She kept spending on irrelevant things for herself. If you try to talk to her, she gets angry and starts abusing you. with the few articles I have read about narcissism, I feel she is one.



Stella, sometimes I regret having her as my mother, she didn’t show us enough love especially to me. Maybe I wasn’t so smart when I was younger like my siblings because my mother just hated me. I never did anything good in her eyes. she would use abusive words and this affected my self-esteem even up till now. I never felt I was beautiful until I got into university. even with all my father was doing then, she always spoke in bad ways about him to her friends and neighbours saying he was stingy.


The main problem now is the things we complained about my father’s family is beginning to happen and I feel it will get worse when we all get married. We can go for weeks without talking to each other. we are four siblings(2 boys and 2 girls), I and my sister are not close. We have never had that sister bond that most sisters have and it pains me. she is always distance, never calls or checks up on you unless she wants something. 



She is very secretive about herself but if you tell her something, she will help broadcast it to the world. I am closer to my elder brother but he is married and not in the country. She is the eldest and unmarried, she stays in a 3 bedroom apartment all alone, she likes her space, my mother stays alone too while I and my younger brother stay together. I got tired of staying with my mother because we were always quarreling and I had no peace of mind.


It’s so bad that I can’t just stay over at her place (my sister’s) without a tangible reason and even if I do, I am constantly walking on eggshells as every little thing I do gets her angry. I usually don’t spend more than 2 days max as her attitude can get overbearing. I think she is also a narcissist.


Now I and my brother need to move from where we are as it is quite expensive but its hard as I don’t have a job to assist in rent. was thinking my sis could assist but she says no money. even if she would say we should manage with her for some time, that would definitely go a long way but my sister will rather have her friends or even strangers stay with her than her blood.


The past few weeks has made me so unhappy and wishing I had my own family, husband, and children.I just feel there is no love in my family and we are just managing our feelings.

Stella, I am at a point of depression, frustration and loneliness, I just want to leave this world after all nobody will miss me.

Out of my siblings, I am the only one without a job. all the rest are doing okay. I am smart and I have a masters degree. My birthday is in a few weeks but I am hoping either a miracle happens by then or maybe God should take me away.

I am in my 30s now, no husband, no boyfriend, no child, no toaster, no job, no money, no friends, and now it's seeming like no family too. people say I am beautiful but I have never had a serious relationship all my life. Unavailable men who just want to take advantage and sleep with me are always the ones attracted to me. I have never felt true love from guys the way they give other girls. I give out love but always get heartbroken in return. when I hear stories of girls taking advantage of good guys, I'm like God just give me a good guy like this.none of the relationships have lasted more than 3 months. Infact, I am beginning to think love isn’t for me and if I will ever marry but I desire children. I am the good girl type and sometimes I wish I wasn’t.


I am beginning to think that there is a curse on me and also in my family.

Please I need help before I drink sniper out of frustration. And as for prayers, yes I have been praying, I am just tired of everything. Forgive me for any typos.

Thanks a lot. Please hide my identity::::



*Even in all hopelessness,there is something about that name JESUS!!!...Try and call unto him and the peace you will feel will be compard to none...I dont even know what to say but you need Jesus to fix this and not a human..
If you commit suicide,you will be condemned forever...think about it...

47 comments:

  1. We are quick to blame village people all the time...The compass still points back to you guys...The foundation of the family and marriage is weak and faulty so ask God to have mercy on you...A man's enemies is in his own household...I attend a church here in Lagos where we do family liberation by a powerful man of God...You have to take your destiny into your hands and work on yourself...Forget about man as you have to be happy and content in yourself...He is not your paycheck just becos you dont have money...I didnt hear that you have attempted a business that failed or a professional course...Break away from the circle and find yourself all the best..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have it at the back of Your mind that you aren't the only 30 something year old unmarried lady around. Marriage happens when it wills. Hold on. Your family is dysfunctional because that's what you guys learnt from the extended family coupled with your mom's selfishness,inconsideration and lack of wisdom . Remember, an apple does not fall so far from the tree. Intensify your efforts in searching for a job or equip yourself with a skill so as to be self sufficient financially. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and limit contact with toxic people. If you are happy,it will radiate and attract the right people around you. Goodluck.

      Delete
    2. Everything village people. Ah ah. Only in Africa. From ur narrative ur family has always been dysfunctional. Go and work on ur selves I beg

      Delete
    3. Poster if I have your kind of mindset I would have been dead and forgotten a long time ago. I'm 42, never been married. I have no child. I made up my mind to have a child I could call my own but I lost the pregnancy at 12 weeks. I have never contemplated suicide even though my family don't care about me, I still love and care about them. I'm leaving my life until God change my destiny. Take your mind off village people and think about yourself more. I decided to put myself before anybody this year and I'm happy. There is nothing God cannot do.

      Delete
  2. Cheer up, young woman and don’t lose hope. Is it a relationship? You will have one but consider that at the moment it is not what you need. You need a job and to earn a living for yourself so you wouldn’t have to rely on anyone.
    You have asked your sister for help, why don’t you ask your brother who is abroad? Also, if your younger brother is working and hasn’t complained about paying the rent alone then let him pay while you let him know that you’d step in once you get a job.

    If that doesn’t work then ask your Mum for some loan but the way I see you, you are depressed and just needed this avenue to vent. Whatever is going on with you is not because your father died or was killed. Many families are dysfunctional and do not exist in harmony but that is life, we get so sucked in we forget to look out for each other even our own blood. Spend quality time with friends and people that matter while doing things you love. Focus on getting a job, forget about men, yeah it gets lonely and annoying but not everyone in a relationship or marriage is happy in it. When you find a good one you wouldn’t need to be told, just take things one step at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Please do not commit suicide. Suicide is not worth it.
    You can’t talk down on yourself like that and expect to be happy. I’ll be your friend ❤️❤️Get a strong man of God to conduct deliverance for you.
    Give life a chance and experience the goodness and riches of God.
    When I read about siblings without special bond, it breaks my heart.
    Our parents have a lot to do in establishing such great bond.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You sound angry from your write up.
    I hope you work on your attitude.
    Try and stop bad mouthing your family in front of your potential suitors/helpers.
    Who wont pick race after hearing all this things you wrote up here.
    Sorry about you predicament.
    May God fix you live especially a job.
    Men these days hardly marry a jobless person.
    You too will you want to marry a jobless or out of job man.
    Country hard oo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lady T/worth more than a thousand dollars3 October 2019 at 16:00

      She is not bad mouthing her family. She is saying it as it is and how she has seen it. Hoping for a miracle. She wants advice and if by telling her story someone can pick what is wrong and tell her then she would have been helped.

      She has reached her limits and wants help.

      You haven't lived in a dysfunctional home or seen one otherwise you will be a bit more sympathetic.

      Delete
    2. Lady T you know some people are so bitter and numn they could never feel another's pain. Insulting someone who is in pain won't make you feel better about your own life.

      Delete
  5. Ewwwwwwwwwwww SDK give me a hug! πŸ€—πŸ€—
    That name JESUS! People will be going through a lot of destruction in the hands of Satan the enemy of God and humanity and will be blaming "village people" instead of calling on JESUS. There is Salvation in that name, there is protection in that name:
    Proverbs 18:10 The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.

    You have to live in righteousness -God's standard of righteousness is what Jesus taught. That is when you will
    continue to enjoy the protection of the name of Jesus.
    I overcame a lot from those who wanted to cast spell on me and marry me. One specifically confessed how he tried every spiritualist/native/all sorts of things to get me under his spell but could not.
    We live in a world controlled by spirit beings. If you are in Christ, the evil supernatural won't get you. If you live your own life, you are vulnerable.
    Jesus is Lord! Jesus is Lord! Jesus is Lord! 🌹🌹🌹➕➕➕➕➕➕➕➕

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Singing....
      There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain break every chain, break every chain.
      Poster go on your kneels and pour out your heart to God.😘

      Delete
    2. Use ewww when you are irritated...

      Delete
    3. @Bitch
      Thanks immensely for the correction.
      I don learn one English word today. 😊😊
      Mmmmhhh E good as you no shoot me today but correct me.😊😊🌹🌹🌹🌹
      Thanks immensely.

      Delete
  6. Always speak positive things into your life no matter how bad it is. Every day recite this word "I am a success magnet" mean it, own it and see it happen. You are a blessed child, not a cursed child, be happy.

    ReplyDelete
  7. If this will encourage you. I'm in my 30's, no CERTIFICATE (you have two) , no husband (I've had my own share of heartbreak and disappointment) . I've been managing a job of 40k for the past three years, I'm still working towards getting a bsc in nursing. I'm still hopeful . Be Grateful for what you have. Apply for jobs, Forget family (literally).

    ReplyDelete
  8. All through your chronicle, you are just lamenting "woe betide me". I didn't see where you made an effort with your estranged family members, just blames upon blames. What if they feel the same way you are feeling?

    You need to take some responsibilities too and fix your life, not everything is village people...Bad decisions can cause stagnation. Also, learn to be thankful. I honestly think your family have it better than some and will be able to bounce back if y'all unite and put God first.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true..It all boils down to planning which was not done at the beginning when I hear that village people, I hear laziness, not wanting to own responsibilities and myopic thinking...

      Delete
    2. The writer has a big problem herself ........

      Delete
    3. It is not easy at all for the poster as added to her problems is her seeming inability to cope, hence her depression. Poster Stella is very right. You need Jesus. You need to work on your mindset and change your thinking first to put you in a better frame of mind to get good ideas, help yourself and attract help. All is not lost because there are people far worse than you. You can not only make it, you will make. So begin to be positive and believe that God will help you outta this mess. He will. Dust your cv and start applying. Come and tell us your testimony ooo. πŸ€—

      Delete
  9. Prayer is the key...prayer is the key...prayer is the master key....Jesus started with prayer and ended with prayer....prayer is the master keeeeeyyyyyyyyyy! Let us do ecactly what Jesus did by praying and you'll see the miracle.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Again everything is not SPIRITUAL ATTACK.
    Why do you think hypertension is called a "silent killer".
    I work in the hospital and I can tell that most stroke cases we see are avoidable.
    People with bp that is hitting the roof, without taking their drugs .
    Then when they have a catastrophic stroke and prolly die in their sleep, someone will start looking for "village" people to blame.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As if no be rat for inside house wey dey tell rat for outside say Eja Nla dey for kitchen...Nigerians lazy way of never owning responsibilities by blaming village people..

      Delete
    2. Finally someone talks about hypertension and HBP. Heart break could have been responsible for grandpa's death but it's seen as village people.

      Delete
  11. Poster please hold on to God and everything will be fine

    ReplyDelete
  12. At a time like this, you need a quiet moment to be with thy maker. There are things you need to be revealed unto you. Sometimes we pray too much without listening to what God might be saying. Take a time and be with God in moment of solitude to know His purpose for your life.

    I have come to the realization that, until one understand the place of purpose in life, living becomes only but a fun fare. What passion do you have in life? What drives you on? Sometimes it may not be work we actually need in life, but going into our passion. You can start up something little you are passionate about since job isn't forthcoming. Do it well and doors of marital blessings might open for you when you least expect.
    Fulfilling ones passion comes with a lot of happiness and blessings.

    Forgive the past hurt and stop the blames. Purge yourself from negativity and hold unto the positive. Understand this, in this journey of life, you are solely on your own and most times, no body cares. In everything you do, NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good advise teejay. Poster read this very well.

      Delete
  13. go to royal place ministry okota lagos on october 11 for a powerful 6p to 6a deliverance service

    ReplyDelete
  14. Poster, just take Stella's advice.When you have JESUS, you have everything.
    Stella, thanks for the advice.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Poster continue calling on the name Jesus and don't give up or give in to the devil. Remember there is light at the end of the tunnel.Keep praying and one day you will testify.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Poster forget about man for now and find a way to fix your life first. Try even if it is petty job and start from somewhere. The lord is your strength. I know how it feels not having family support.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am not here to pity you. You don't need pity. All you need is to rewrite your story with your own hands. Heard one preaching one day at church and my whole life changed.. If no one did it for you.. Please do it for yourself. Wake up babe. Stop this pity party. Whatever your mum, siblings or anyone did or doing should be waved aside. Change your environment, Make new friends. Look for job as if your whole life depends on it. Learn a new trade. Do something genuine that gives you money no matter how small. You must not wear gold to look good. Dress neat and always put a smile while you walk. Speak to yourself. You are better than this. As per no love in your family. Do your best and leave the rest to God. This life is too short to live perpetually thinking someone is the course of your woes.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Someone can have stroke without any symptoms showing. The more you see your problems as spiritual, the more confused you will be. At that stage, you have now accepted that nothing is in your control.
    Stella, I think that out of your BVs, there should be a couple of certified therapists that can provide their services for some of these Chronicle people. If they don't want to do it pro bono, we can contribute and help settle their bills. This person is in need of professional help.
    The poster should have stated her specific academic qualifications and Stella should have volunteered to do a special SnM advert for her, although I understand that this kind of help can be abused by other BVs.
    Poster, I think that you should forget about any family curse wahala. All around me, the siblings I have seen have issues. Don't think it is your family alone. 20 siblings cannot play for 20 years.

    ReplyDelete
  19. My dear, Embrace God, he is a battle trasher, he wins every battle, he will win yours too... don't die please... may you find joy soon

    ReplyDelete
  20. pls do not commit sucide I beg u...is deir anything too difficult for God to do y not call on ur creator and pls do not soil ur hands in sin he will surely answer u..

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dear poster, I feel your pain, just call upon the name of God and constantly remind God of His will for you, talk to God, He's your father and He will answer you OK.
    Every body has one family issue or the other, but you should never allow it define you , there is no curse anywhere, the devil is only playing with your mind.
    Have fun and be happy, you don't need any man to define or complete your happiness, with prayers and positive thoughts, the right man would locate you OK.
    And as for your mother, I believe by the time you become successful, you surely earn her respects. Just let her be, and enjoy your life. It's well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dear Troubled heart, this is not new and there are so many who has gone through worse than what you have put out here. The truth is your foundation is faulty and needs repair. Your dad is not the first to come from an envious background or marry wrongly, as lots of men get carried away by pretty faces and good sex to be trapped by their enemies masquerading as wife. That is why I say, wait until a woman has her two legs in the marriage proper or say 10-20 years after marriage before screaming "she is an angel." A woman is supposed to be a man's best friend, HELP MEET (spiritual, physical, financial etc) and vice-versa but many do not understand this. Do not hate your mum. And genes, they play out in each child that is why your elder sister took after your mum who should have ensured a very close bond among all her children no matter what. Personally, I can never prefer friends to my blood (maybe because of how I was raised). I have seen my friends prefer outsiders to their own blood (story for another day. Let your sister be, she has her own battles. What you need to do is to seperate yourself and diligently seek your Creator/ Maker, God and Father who made, blessed and called you beautiful. I did not say run to any man of God/Prayer house. Do It Yourself first for 21 days (midnight), entreating his mercy and to reveal every secret of your life and foundation to you (please don't disturb people with your prayers, use Hezekiah or Hannah style- just you and God) sincerely. Then by yourself, start speaking life into your life and destiny and acting it out. It may seem crazy at first but let it become your lifestyle. Genuinely/sincerely begin to love and honour yourself. Don't wait for a man to say "I love you", take you out or propose to you-start with SELF-LOVE and mean it. In doing this, write out exactly the kind of man you desire factoring everything (spiritual, intellectual, physique, financial and social into it) and call him forth day and night in faith. Hold the kind of man you want in your heart and remain focused even when the wrong ones show up. I must warn you that the moment you start praying, the wrong men will rush in, be WISE and keep your eyes single. Also, forgive your mum sincerely for her ignorance and wicked ways, as well as siblings. Pray for your family and tell God to turn things around for all of you. The same step you did for a partner, use for employment/job(do not be ashamed to start small to gain skill or try entrepreneurship no matter what to have some money to help you get up). Commit to diligently serving God from your heart (I don't mean sleep in church or do eye service. Just be connected and get involved in any service unit). Then wisely seek out a man of God indeed to stand in faith and pray with you or go to MFM Prayer City or any genuine deliverance ministry and partake in spiritual exercises (weekly or weekend). Its just a matter of time and God your Maker will show up. For your mother to hate you so much and for you to feel pain and desire a change for your family means you are the Joseph of your family and he will use you to bring restoration. When you are restored, remain in Christ and return to SDK to remind us and testify of change indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dear Poster, I really do feel your pain.

    It's easier for outsiders to give advice, but if they could only spend 1 day in your shoes, that's when they will truly understand your pain.

    Please don't give into depression. Do something for yourself. Start a business. Reach out to your family. Socialize with reasonable friends. Go to church. Eat. Lick ice cream. Be happy.

    There are soooooooooooo many things to be alive for.

    Plenty hugs and kisses from me to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I know I like the ice cream advise. It is well. Take care poster.

      Delete
  24. my sister it is well.say this to yourself everyday. pls dont give up now. There is so much out there waiting for you. Always have a positive attitude. say to yourself i am the best. cheers

    ReplyDelete
  25. You can't do anything about your family. You late.

    Just pray when you have yours, you unite your kinds.
    Break the chain with you, and start a different generation.

    For job, marriage, etc, change your mindset and your life will change.
    Nobody is pursuing u.
    And how can u get answers to your prayers when you ask amidst?

    Without faith, it's impossible to please God...

    ReplyDelete
  26. I know how you feel. I can only thank God that I have a supportive family with supportive siblings. Your family is not all that bad. Can you continue to stay with your younger sibling for a while until you start making some money. Like Doppel suggested, ask the older bro for help if you guys can't pay the rent and move to a cheaper place. Don't feel guilty for needing help, we all need help in one way or another. What did you study? If you can't get work with it, maybe you should learn a new skill and start using it to make some change. Are you an active member in church? It also helps to have a church family who can encourage you and pray with you. It's most important that you change your mindset and start speaking positive things over your life. Watch sermons from Joyce Meyer, Andrew Wommack, Christine Caine, Terri Savelle, Priscilla Shirer, Keith Moore, Joseph Prince on YouTube to build your faith and your spirit. Make the word of God your best friend so you can re-build your identity in Christ because your family and circumstances don't define who you are. God's word says if He (God) gave us Christ, what then will He withhold from us? When I prayed for God to change my life, He started from the inside first and changed my heart, to know Him and know His word, Now, I see myself through His word, through Him, and I am able to look to the future with much hope and joy except when I start comparing my life with others. You are young and still have your life ahead of you, don't let the hurts and disappointments of the past rob you anymore. God has a wonderful future planned for you. It may not feel like it but it is true, because He said it and it's up to you now to seek Him and begin to walk with Him. It won't be overnight but He will take you on an adventure, which if you remain patient will change your life. I have so much to say but can't articulate my thoughts enough. Reach out to me if you need someone to talk to.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Suicide is ruled out first, secondly, you are closer to your breakthrough now so dont give up okay. Get closer to God, call upon Him, and He will surely answer you in Jesus name. I await your testimony on this blog. Congratulations in advance.

    ReplyDelete
  28. You will make! Say it! I will make it in Jesus name! No enemy will cut short my God given destiny!

    ReplyDelete

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