Hmmmm........
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
LOAFER HUSBAND
Been married for 14yrs. He just wakes up and relaxes in the house all day or goes to his mother's house to eat. I had a good job and I was catering for the house but I lost my job a few years ago and it's been one hustle or another and God has been faithful and my kids don't lack.
I have begged this man to get up and hustle, cried, fought him, threatened to leave him and all he says is that I can go if I want but I should leave the kids(kids he cant feed). I went to his people to complain severely but he still did not change. He wasn't this lazy when we got married and I don't know what happened.
I have begged this man to get up and hustle, cried, fought him, threatened to leave him and all he says is that I can go if I want but I should leave the kids(kids he cant feed). I went to his people to complain severely but he still did not change. He wasn't this lazy when we got married and I don't know what happened.
Pls BVs advice me cos I am ready to leave him.
I cant keep feeding a man who has refused to do anything while I toil all day. My people want me to leave so he can sit up but I don't know if I should put my kids tru that.
*So the only good thing he did was to procreate with you?WOW.....
It might be a shut down phase he is going through cos you said he was never like that.....
However,i cannot stay with a lazy man who sleeps while i toil...call his Bluff and leave but take your kids.....Maybe your absence will reset his medulla oblangata.
Mscheeeew!!!
Why not ignore him, hide your money and take care of yourself and the kids
ReplyDeletePoster, you started feeding and carrying all the financial load when you were dating, you enticed him with your money and job. I bet you even paid most of bills for your wedding. That is what you get, deal with it!!!
DeleteIf na me I go take my kids outside we go chop and clean mouth. Or cook nd wash the plate and pots before he comes. When hunger beat am e go get sense😂😂😂😂. Lazy man
DeleteSexy Hips same with me😂 lol..
DeleteFan no vex ooo but I am sure you are not working and supporting the family. It's your husband that does all the bill payment while you stay home and eat in disguise of taking care of the home. You guys forgot the part the wife said he was not always like that. If you check that man he might be thinking of taking his own life. The man is giving up and nobody is trying to help him fight out of depression. Madam poster you have not done everything. Keep praying and talking to your husband. As you said it was not always like that. Don't come here and seek the approval of all this sick Bvs that will support you in the action you desire.
DeleteSexy hips b4 he comes from where? Man does nothing but lay about d house remember? His type doesnt go out or contact people for help. He’ll rather stay at home to avoid people suggesting one hustle or d other. They’re usually very proud n arrogant too. He only goes out to his parents’ . Poster I agree with Stella.
Deletelol a lazy man has no shame oh. i know a man who will go and eat the food the wife hides for her kids...its sad some men are just not responsible. take care of yourself and kids and do what you can. pray God makes him change
DeleteGet someone he respects a lot to talk to him... He needs serious motivation and push but it has to come from someone he esteems so high.
ReplyDeleteWhich push? My dear if nobody was feeding his lazy ass, aswear he will push himself.
DeleteThey have tied his senses,
ReplyDeleteThe mother will still give a full grown man food than to tell him to go and work,....
My advice,it's either you start praying for your hubby or you leave.
But if you do he will turn worse,since he was not like that in the beginning,he will go and live with his mom who will accept him back.
@Tenth
DeleteWho are the "they" that tied his senses?
So if your son loses his job you won't give him food?
Really?
Why are you all not seeing that the wife is the one
denying him of meals. If this man should go and get this food from
a mistress instead of his mother, this poster will still write chronicles.
I wish some of you live in the States and see what job loss means during a recession.
Many are in asylums, many on the streets, a lot more on drugs etc.
If you followed the News this weekend you will see that a lot of folks are still
committing suicide from the downturn of the last recession and suicide is the 10th
largest cause of death in America today.
You must be a NFA like the poster's husband. His mother and wife should stop feeding him so he can have a motivation to work. I didnt see where the poster said he lost his job. She prob wouldnt have complained if not that she lost her job and the responsibilities are overwhelming. Nothing as frustrating as a man who wouldn't try. I understand if he is working hard but thing are not orking out but not even trying to work at all leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
DeleteShe said he sits at home doing nothing.so she should die cos he is depressed for how many years??
DeleteIt's not about economic downturn, his unwillingness to try is the problem he's obviously lazy.
DeleteYou say she's denying him meals, if she was as lazy as him, would there be food? What if the food isn't enough to go round? He goes to eat at his mom's because he doesn't care if they eat or not.
If she can find something little to do that brings in money then so can he. Stop encouraging laziness, what is 'I wish some of you live in the states' pffft! Everybody is in 'the states', some live in the projects forming states.
Anon 16:10 u think mistresses comes cheap huh? Nobody has time to waste sin anymore.
DeleteBesides I didn’t see where d poster wrote he had a job but lost it. She is d one who lost her job. If he’s d hustling type yet things ain't working out the story will b different.
And this type of man go life food well well 😂😂 chop chop ajeku
ReplyDeleteWell if he wasn't like that then he has been jazzed. Or he pretended to be hardworking when he met you. Please do what gives you peace.
ReplyDeleteIf you can ignore him and face your children please do that
ReplyDeleteNo, no, no, no,
ReplyDeleteYou can't just walk away and take those kids
Are they bearing your surename?
How are they "your kids?"
Mbanu...You gat to be patient here.
I am not one that will ever tell a woman to leave
her husband except her life is threatened.
Whoever separates "what God has joined together" will have
God to contend with oburo ya?😮
Since the "kids do not lack and God has been faithful in your hustle"
you've got to persevere in your patience nne.
Stop "fighting him..." everything is not by fight.
I am married and when I want my husband to do something I know
how to communicate it to him.
A lot of us ladies make this mistake of fighting and humiliating a man
simply because he lost his job. It is not his making that he lost his job is it?
Ajuju ooo
And not everybody is born to do business, is it?
God has a reason to keep you earning to keep those kids fed and well.
Yes, I have lived for close to 8 years in my own marriage when my husband wasn't
earning and I did not complain. The difference anyway is that he did/does babysitting,
cooking and other household chores (without being asked and happily does it.)
Ndi uta can dispute this and shoot all they like.
Whosai 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
Please what are you saying. She should keep suffering. So because a man lost his job he cnt do little jobs to keep body and soul till he get a good job???.
DeleteLadies make the mistake of looking out for tins that are not important. As far a man is ready to do tins to provide for you den that's a man that loves you. There are alot of small small jobs he cn do to earn small moni. It goes a long way pls. Not eating nd sleeping while she toil all day.
@Sexy Hips
DeleteI laughed at this your name 😊😊😊😊
So na you come shoot first uta eh? 😊😊
The little "tins"[sic] you don't know is that
those little jobs are scarce in Nigeria.
Another little "tins" you mistake is that someone
who loves you can give you gifts but not all that give gifts love you.
Did you read that this woman is "fighting her husband and reporting him to
third parties..."for losing his job and in her mind "doing nothing?"
I think the main problem is that in many of your kind of marriages, the finances
are different. In my kind (which I learnt from Scriptures), permit me to relay my experiences,
whether my DH was working or not, he had access to our joint accounts and no irresponsible expenditures.
You lie on your bed the way you make it. I wish the lady wrote this chronicle before "fighting and reporting
him" but she can still make amends. You don't humiliate your husband simply because he lost his job.
Poster don't follow this advice if not hunger go finish you for that marraige
DeleteThis Ang I don't understand you. You wrote you have been married for close to 10 years now it's not up to 8 years. Are you really a married woman, are you even married, wait what is your real gender sef? Not up to eight years you have given birth to five kids minus the 9 months journey for those five kids. Ang!Ang!!Ang!!! How many times did I call you easy on your lies biko🧐
DeleteWe all know Ang us a man here.You keep denying your gender. God is not happy with you. You a committing sin.
DeleteShe’s psychotic
Delete@16:33 and ummunne ya
DeleteCommon English hard una reach like this?
Yes, I've been married for MORE THAN A DECADE
Of those years, I LIVED CLOSE TO 8 years OF THEM WITHOUT MY HUSBAND WORKING/EARNING.
Is English too hard?
Ajuju ooo 😮😮😮😮😮
@Aproko
DeleteDid she tell you that hunger "is killing her now?"
You did not tell her what to do for that "marraige"
😂😂😂😂😂
18:11 mo sin e je. Ummunne ya ni oruko re sogbo. No wonder🚶♂️
DeleteAnon 16.33, don't tell me you're just realizing that Ang is full of lies! If you check all these her 'FABUlous' life experiences are filled with potholes.
DeleteLiar liar, pants on fire...
Madam ,if he was hardworking and later changed.
ReplyDeleteit could be that he is nursing pains which left him broke emotinally and at a point of giving up.
Dont be hard on him.
Sit him down and talk to him.H e might need a help.
When you tie a man down with jazz to make him stay with you.
DeleteThis is one of the side effects, it suppress their spirit man and affect their destiny. Madam untie him and see his glory shine
everything is jazz. as if majority of black women in america are not also co or full breadwinners while their men also live off them. including the ones that go to nigeria to marry nurses. when it's time to shout about goldiggers they'll be shouting as if we don't know many women in nigeria are also silent breadwinners. jazz ko. they didn't see otedola to jazz it's a house husband they saw
DeleteLearn from this word of God;
ReplyDelete"A man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possession..."
Luke 12:15 Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all
kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions."
When he is earning plenty of money he is "darling, sweety, honey..."
When he loses his job, he becomes "papa Emeka, papa Bimbo, that man, that useless man"
😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
Same scripture talks about a man providing for his family.
DeleteHe doesn't have to have mansions he should be able to feed his wife and kids at least.
Poster, if you can have a heart to heart with him.
@Adire
DeleteQuote it
Leave with your Kids IF you think that would give you peace of mind. If he is not lazy , that is another issue BUT do not condone laziness all in the name of staying married. Do not divorce him just be separated then see IF he would be back to his senses. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteMy dear just continue to try your best for your family, don't leave him I beg, hello might be depressed and maybe it's his kids that is keeping him alive. Pray for him, continue to talk to him and one day Almighty God will see you through in Jesus name ,Amen. Everything is not divorce,divorve all the time.
ReplyDeleteDid you try to get him a job? Are you encouraging him? Do you insult him on a regular basis because he's not able to get a job? Maybe you should get him a job, encourage him and see if things will turn around.
DeleteI know no sey dem dey dash people jobs these days ooo @anon 18:53
DeleteNawaaah ooh. I can't stand lazy ass men.
ReplyDeleteStella alot of women in Nigeria! Especially in this Lagos are going through same. This generation of MEN are so lazy to the extent they still have pride in them. I know of a family friend that just got married like a year now. Immediately after the wedding, the man sold his shop and stay at home. All he does is sleep, eat and play video game.
ReplyDeleteWomen are 70% bread winner in most families. While the lazy men sleep and still collect money from them to club. I cnt date a lazy man. Madam leave him and take your kids with you. When hunger beat am e go stand up work.
You're very correct. They are everywhere, women are the breadwinners now.
DeleteThis is the part boarding school would have come in handy. Cook for just u and the kids, no crumbs shld be left... soak the pot join
ReplyDeleteYou must be a mean person. Common food sef.
DeletePoster if you are saved, ask the Holy Spirit what to do.
ReplyDeleteWhat was your husband's job or business before you got married and in the early years of marriage?
Are you absolutely sure he hasn't always been lazy or laid back?
What are your husband's strengths now or before?
Focus on those good qualities, keep telling him about those strengths and encourage him to build on it WHEN YOU CAN. I emphasized the last phrase because I know it could be frustrating trying to pull up a grown man.
If he fails to improve, IGNORE HIM and FOCUS ON YOUR CHILDREN.
Every adult is accountable and responsible for the choices they make.
He chose to get married and have children so he should get off his lazy bum andfface his responsibilities.
If you decide to leave him, you have not done anything wrong BECAUSE failing to provide for his ownffamily, HE IS WORSE THAN AN Infidel.
@ANG you chose to forget this part of the Bible.
Left to ANG that part doesnt exist in the bible. After all ANG helped her husband for years when he lost his job. That one always have a story for every situation.
DeletePoster if you say he wasn't like this before you married him, then something is not right.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need to fight him, talk to him in a calm and lovely way. There must be something he would love to do. If you try and nothing is working please do what will make you both happy.
I think he was lazy all along.Even when you guys were dating, trust me, he was pretending so you would marry him. Which woman would open her eyes and marry a lazy loafer?Its now his true colors are coming out
DeleteSounds like my husband. He was such a go getter when we got married. Then he left his job like 10 years ago without any savings and has been loafing about while claiming hustle and forming big boy. And the worst part is that he has found some cheap girls to be following up and down so that’s his focus now. I just jejely found a job in another city and relocated with my 3 children. After all I was catering for the house alone. Over here life is cheaper and I am more relaxed. I told him to only come when the children are on holiday as I cannot cater to a loafer anymore . I’ve now noticed that he’s sitting up and doing more as I’m not there to prop him up. His people do not answer him cos they have their own problems. Poster just face ur front. Do things to better yourself and cut him off financially. Such people always have sweet mouth to use and collect ur money. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteToo much sense worry you ma... It serve him right..
DeleteWell done , you did that very very well. Well played.
DeleteU cnt kill urself. Nice decision😍💝
DeletePoster leave his sorry ass, he's surely bluffing by telling you to go but leave his kids, of course he knows he can't live or sustain his self without you.
ReplyDeleteLeave - change will occur.
ReplyDeleteYou say you don't want to put your kids through that by leaving...is it now okay for your kids to see their dad being a loafer, have you thought about what it will do to your kids mindset seeing that it is okay for a man to be jobless and lazing about.
ReplyDeleteHe is not a good role model to those children please especially if you have boys.
Poster, one thing you will know is you can never achieve anything with nagging. Try to find out if he is among those that lack courage to try new things or he's confuse and not knowing where to start from probably because of age.
ReplyDeleteHe is your husband and the contract you signed is for better and for worse. To me the worse is the very attitude you getting from him now.
My opinion, why not go to God in prayer because if he is not like this before. Don't you think somebody somewhere wants to frustrate you out from your marriage, and in the look of things all does not seem right. Pray and watch God ignite the fire to man his home in him.
In a second thought, if you walk away and the storm in his life becomes over. He might ask you what you did to help him out of his predicament. Just know that only cowards run from a problem. Fight and become victorious.
This life isn't fair to men at all! So it's okay to have full time house wives but an abomination for a man to be a full time house husband lol. If na man post exactly like this now I know all the women of this blog will curse his entire generation.
ReplyDeleteMan was created for it. The bible says a man that cn not provide for his family is worst Dan an infidel. I thought u guys said is d mans world. Infact these day both gender work to keep the family running .
DeleteYes if is an abomination. Common, for 10 years???
DeleteA man is a man because he is a provider, you can't be claiming head and bring nothing but dick to the table. Make the man go work jare. No food for lazy man! Mtcheeew
Poster can i shock you? You are the one that made him lazy because you started doing all he was supposed to do, and now he is so relaxed and unconcerned because he knows that last last you can always take responsibility for catering and running your house hold.
ReplyDeleteyou have to take drastic measures so his lazy brain can reset because if you continue like this he will never change o, house husband mode activated full time. May the holy spirit give you wisdom
Thank you. I noticed men that act like this is because d woman try to shoulder all feeling sorry for their lazy ass
Deletethank you, all my friends who have issues in marriage were the ones who started this whole shit. one even sponsored 90% of the wedding. more than 10 years later they are still breadwinners while man is just husband in name. girls when you are dating a man and you spend money on him anyhow you are shooting your self cos you dont know if that man can take care of you or not..me i no dey give man money den but na me marry husband wey dey provide for us and i also contribute to house keeping. they use to call me wicked and stingy but i knew i was not..as a man if you are working and you loose your job big deal, if you have a wife and kids you get up your arse and find something doing. no woman will disrespect a man who try to bring food or take care of some bills too except she is a witch..most women now contribute to the upkeep of the home unlike those days, but sadly some men today are danm right lazy....NO FOOD FOR LAZY MAN WALAHI
DeletePoster you said he wasnt this lazy when you got married...meaning you knew he was a bit lazy and you still went ahead to marry him...poster you married him lazy so stop complaining..when you are really fed up,you will leave..
ReplyDeleteIf you know how common this is in Nigeria. Many in fact it’s almost majority on men on the Island are like this.
ReplyDeleteIt might be psychological
ReplyDeleteLet him talk to a psychologist
Maybe a conflict of energies
You didn't state how long this has been going on. If not too long, I'd say maybe he's going through a dry spell mentally or psychologically I don't know. Consider getting him a therapist or a life coach to unpack what exactly is hampering his productivity. Don't quit without trying. Give it some more time. But also let him know that you won't sit around forever and wait for him to get his shit together. Give him an ultimatum and when the time is due, be ready for a separation and see how that works. Above all, continue to seek the wisdom of God and other Godly counselors, while you wait for the ultimatum to expire. It's tough on you but you will overcome. You've been so strong and you will pull through. God bless all hustling moms out there.
ReplyDeleteWhen I see the comments women make here about men I tend to see women as evil. Since I started visiting this blog na one eye I dey take look my wife. God should help all this bitter women on this blog. I wonder if it's this same ladies commenting their black hearts and evil emotions on this blog that go into single and mingle. Guy open eye ooo. Leave this thing's called women and we the married men just focus on your kids n keep a blind eyes towards that woman you call a wife. Now I see why my father said we won't understand what he went through. Even my Mama get her own for body. May God give all the men out there Grace to overcome the evil and bitter ladies out there.
ReplyDeleteYou must be an angel then. Everyone see! A flawless being live amongst us👆
DeleteYou and your father are birds of a feather. Sanctimonious idiot.
Deleteseriously the attitude of these people on this blog mskes me to be so scared of women. terrible creatures
Deleteshut up fool...are you daft? cant you read? so a man is jobless for 10 years and does nothing then you blame the wife for complaining...shut the fuck up...am sure you and your father are like this man
DeleteAll of you telling her to walk away, I hope you guys know that this is a marriage we are talking about, not a relationship.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, if she walks out now and things become better for him, hope you people wouldn't insult the man if he refuses to take her back and he marries another wife?
Acrimony comes to mind.
Thanks Zemzem. The comments here make me wonder if all women are like this.
ReplyDeleteA man is going through a hard time. She even admitted that they lack nothing and her husband wasn't like this before.
Yet most of the comments here are saying the woman should pack their kids and abandon her husband in this difficult period of his life.
Look at all the comments above. Insulting the man as if he's the one that made himself jobless.
God will help us men.
shut up and go back and read....that man never worked but am sure was contributing but she never felt it cos she was the one working...now wey she no get work naim she dey see say the man na proper lazy man. so for 14 years a man will remain jobless and not do anything..thunder fir you there. women should always endure all una rubbish but woman no fit get short coming
Delete