Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Friday, December 20, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Na wah!!!!









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
COMPLETELY HEART BROKEN OVER RELATIONSHIP END

Hi Stella,



 It may not fit,but,I need to let it out. I have always believed my genotype is AA. I had taken the test. 

So,when I met this amazing human who said he is AS,I told him we won't have a problem. 

Stella, I have never loved any man like I love him. We have never fit so perfectly with anyone before. We were talking marriage and we decided we should take the tests again. I took the tests again. Twice. In two different hospitals. I'm AS.

I'm broken. I'm sad. It's hard. I know I will always love him. This is my black moment. We are ending things. It's the responsible thing to do. We will get over it someday. But not today. 

Has anyone gone through this before? How did you cope? Please help. Tell me how to deal with this.



*Awwwwwww please no matter how hurt you are,please know that you are doing the right thing.

70 comments:

  1. Awwww dear, I know it sucks but believe me the pain you are going through now is worth the sacrifice for healthy children in the future who will call you mummy. Yours will come, just believe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You and your made the right decision...i know someone that got married some months ago,they knew they are both AS both stood against their parents and friends advice and got married two months ago. I am just hoping their worst nightmare dont become their reality.

      Delete
    2. If you have money, don't breakup. Marriage is not just for procreation

      Travel out and do ivf. Let them select healthy embryos with AA and As and put in you.

      You can even implant two or three at once and hang boot.

      Not all lovers are worth loosing IMO. You may never get back such love.

      For me; companionship and compatibility is EVERYTHING.

      All the best!

      Delete
    3. Just move on dear to avoid had I know

      Delete
    4. Select and kill the rest right?16,21

      Delete
    5. like some1 told me during my time that if it is truly from God, then he won't put u through all the PGD stress all in the name of love, take ur time heal up, pray and trust in God, do ur normal daily routine, enjoy life b4 u know it d pain will fade away. when d pain comes cry it out and pray it out. then @ the appropriate time the right person will come. if u are not ready don't rush in2 another relationship to ease ur pain. it is well with u, b strong it will soon become a story. i have been there and i thank God i chose to opt out D AS guy was good but my AA husband is great

      Delete
    6. 16:46; y'all should STOP being overly dramatic and hypocritical on this blog.

      All the other sperms that wash away after conception and menstrual blood that flow off if the egg didn't fertilize nko?

      Stop putting people in misery for no reason. Science is tryna make life easier and smoother; Africans are here claiming lai lai and drinking rubbish from pastors...

      16:52; so all the women trying to conceive that needed IVF to make it happen; married husbands that God didn't ordain abi?

      What won't I read here?

      God please just HELP my country people 😒😒😒

      Delete
    7. My dear na naija my country mentality be that one oo

      Delete
  2. Painful but worth the sacrifice. You will heal but not forget. Happened to a friend during wedding preparations, couple assumed it was AA as thought but on insistence by COF, both were AS. It was a horrible experience but she moved on and married to another person

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But why do people end relationships because of genotype? Yet its same people that believe in miracles...
      I know plenty of people who are both AS and have children who are AA or AS.

      Yes, I know it's a risk and you could end up with an SS child but I really don't understand why people act like two AS couples are an automatic death se fence.

      Delete
  3. Sorry dear, life ain't fair sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The pain will ease with time. God has a better replacement for you. Trust in him.
      sorry for the heart break.

      Delete
  4. Awwwwwwwww I am sorry for the hurt poster. Being with someone that's perfect for you is everything...losing them feels like your world has crumbled. The hurt will not go anytime soon, but with God, family, great friends around you, you will heal.
    It's better to end things now than later on. The hardest and most painful thing in life is watching your kids suffer and you are not able to help them.
    God will bless you with an amazing man. One who will adore you, cherish you, make life easy and respect you.
    You will be fine sweetheart πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww all I know is that you are doing the right thing..God sees your heart and it will be granted..

      Delete
  5. Quite empathize with you nne.
    I have not gone through this and I am not telling you I know how you feel.
    I do not know what heartbreak is like.
    I know the pain of losing a loved one to death and it is probably like it.
    You will get over it, just like I've gotten over the demise of loved ones.
    But I have only cautions to give you for the future -which I believe can be
    blissful;
    *Both of you (you and future spouse should get to the test clinic as soon as you click and marriage is on the table)
    *Involve Jesus from now on (if you haven't already); tell him to be your Lord -Study his Word, prayer, fasting and involve him in your life decisions,
    especially things like marriage. He is the creator and the giver
    of every good and perfect gifts.
    I have shared this aspect of my story.
    Proverbs 23:17 Do not let your heart envy sinners,
    but always continue in the fear of the LORD. 18For surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.…
    Let me stop here make ndi uta 😘😘🌹🌹🌹➕

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ANG I love this side of you.

      Life isn't fair a times but you did the right thing poster. E-hugs

      Delete
    2. pleasant surprises20 December 2019 at 15:31

      ANG, I love your comment, poster pls put Jesus first, He certainly will sort all out,take heart, Ciao!

      Delete
    3. I think a lot of people do not take time to read ANG's comments especially when she writes pidgin. They just rush to attack.

      Delete
  6. You will be fine. Time heals all things

    ReplyDelete
  7. poster don't worry God will give you another perfect man to love. All you need is more time to heal completely for this, relax your own man will come someday. Is hard to accept it but God is on your side always.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Its painful but, its better you both part ways!
    Person nor dey knowingly open eyes make scorpion πŸ¦‚ crawl enter.

    The risk is not worth it. You'll cry for a while, miss him sometimes and then, you'll make up your mind and move on.

    The genotype test is very important.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sorry to hear that dear.
    My only advice is that if you've decided not to marry him,
    cut off totally and respect whoever he decides to marry.
    Do not remain close to avoid adulterous tales that can also be
    very destructive of future love lives.
    You will definitely get over it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My dear, welcome to the club of genotype issues. I have been there for a while now even when I find the one with AA he is neither here nor there so I have decided to be happy with my life. I can't kill myself.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sorry poster, Its painful but compulsory. May God heal ur heart.

    ReplyDelete
  12. after typing it will disappear am tired please my just go and check again because my friend check for the fourth time and found out that she is AA don't bother about the money ok but if it is just take it with good faith e hug

    ReplyDelete
  13. it's the best thing to do dear

    ReplyDelete
  14. Getting married to an as doesn't mean you would give birth to ss you have the tendency to give birth to an aa I 'll advise you to go on with your marriage it doesn't change anything you can go see the doctors they will explain further but there is nothing to be worried about

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why take chances? Especially when it involves future kids? She is doing the right thing. Someday she will look back and not regret the choice she is making.

      Delete
    2. Like seriously?
      You didn't just wrote that the doctor will explain the power of DNA to her and also help her select the AA eggs which will probably cost her millions of Naira.

      To obey is better than sacrifice.
      Don't let it happen before you cry out... Don't even give it a thought at all!

      Delete
    3. Without the consent of the unborn children, is it worth the risk? I'm sure you've not seen the pain sickle cell can cause. Better avoided..

      Delete
    4. Aunty what are you saying? Do you know the process?the pains?the abortions everytime it is ss?

      Delete
    5. Poster, you see this anon 15.41 will just lead you to your peril.
      Agreed there are manipulations that can be done but why tiw that path when you still have an option.
      This anonymous will always remain what the name tag means ..Anonymous..when you will be taking hormonal pills just to ovulate and hoping the labs and all work to hand pick the AA oocytes..this commenter will be anonymous,
      When you will cough out money in whatever currency to face a health challenge that one could have avoided ,this person urging you on and even myself telling you walking away now is for the best will both be anonymous then.
      It hurts..yes
      With time you will heal...yes
      It will take a while ...yes
      You will come out happy...YES.

      Its easier to say marriage ain't only for procreation, what if per chance you now get pregnant and child comes out with SS...yes you have the love of your life but the product of that love will be in severe pains sometimes.

      Yes ,having an SS child is 25% chance in each pregnancy ,why not wait for the one that having an SS child is 0%.

      Delete
    6. Thank you 15:41

      Orela when you take your medical practice outta naija; come back and type this follow follow comment! You ought to know better than this gibberish you typed to follow the crowd.

      Genotype is NO longer a hindrance to marriage in developed countries!

      Religious fanatical country where misery loves company!

      Sisterly; if money no too dey; leave him. But if you have money DON'T leave him!

      Delete
    7. Anon 19:10
      First of all, Sickle cell genotype was never much of a hinderance to marriage in developed countries. You know why? Because Sickle cell trait and disease is mostly an African/black thing.
      So therefore your point does not follow.
      Orela doesn’t need to take her practice out of Nigeria to know about SCD and what comes with it. Infact, practicing abroad she might never encounter more than one person with the disease. Prevalence of SCD in the USA according to CDC is only 100,000 out of the entire population. She has more knowledge about it than people practicing abroad
      I can bet my last penny that you are not a doctor talk more of one practicing in any developed country for you to be talking the way you are. Infact you know nothing of medical practice in developed countries

      Delete
    8. @anonymous...19.10..it is gibberish to you because you choose to claim woke.
      Learn to put into context the surroundings of those you are giving advice to.
      For starters did this poster tell you she is mentally ready to go through that route?
      You thinking chorionic Villi sampling is all about the money ,have you put into consideration the emotional roller coaster?
      3rdly, the only way this poster can be cock sure that her babies will not have the sickle cell gene is if she goes for egg donation thereby eliminating the possibility of even the labs making a mistake due to sensitivity when screen the eggs for the gene. She has a 25% chance in each pregnancy to have sickle diseased child and 75 %chance in each pregnacy to have a carrier.
      4thly, this isnt about taking ones practice out of Nigeria, this is about not walking in blinded, we do not know the mindset of the man she loves so much or claims to be a saint, when shit hits the fan one's eye will become clear.
      We all scream IVF, IVF is not even 100% it does fail sometimes, have y'all thought about how she will feel emotionally if a cycle fails and the problem ain't because she can't get pregnant naturally but because of a choice?

      If she had the values of the average white man , I will say otherwise.
      Anyhoo.. the poster only dropped her mind like I will tell any one in her shoes that I get to counsel, I basically list all her options,the pros and cons of each and she will make her choice .

      Poster, the call is yours to make, if you choose to be with him no biggie there are options which ain't 100% foolproof but know that if shit hits the fan, we unknown people will only sympathize with you and wish you well and some still screaming you should go on that being woke is walking in knowingly when they won't give you the funds to try other options will be the same people to castigate you.
      The love of your life that has decided with you to ends things ,has given it thoughts and has felt he may not be strong to weather what lies ahead.
      Make the choice ,not because of what people here tell you because we wont be there to wipe your tears for or against.
      Alot of people shouting go on may not have being in your kind of position to make some life deciding choices.
      I am a carrier and I didn't even think of marrying another carrier even if I know the different manipulations, that doesnt mean I don't have friends who did otherwise too, they are my friends and I will support them and give advice and shoulder when needed.

      Delete
    9. @AdaBekee...sickle cell disease is predominant amongst we Africans, the whites have other diseases they are battling with and sickle cell aint one based on genetics. The whites are more open to egg donations than we Nigerians, these ones screaming, if the lady is her sister in law and say she wants egg donation because of sickle cell, they will be the first to scream noooo..that she should rather try with her eggs citing statistics that ain't 100% foolproof.the issue is all these manipulations ain't 100% foolproof.
      The only foolproof IVF way is a donor egg from an AA person because even in chorionic sampling errors CA. Occur be it in the western world or in Nigeria.

      Delete
  15. My dear, really sorry about what you are going through. May God heal your heart. Nothing on earth beats having healthy children. Sickle cell anaemia is a horrible monster that renders families once filled with kids EMPTY, and it's the woman that bears the brunt of the problem except your hubby is extra caring. You will get through this and I pray God gives you someone special in Jesus name.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is so heart wrenching.. Please trust God to see your through this painful phase. It will end in praise

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dear Poster, I am writing as a DOCTOR. You both could still get married.
    There is a way out.
    1.You have 25% of each pregnancy being SS
    2. You may carry out a genotype test on your unborn child when the pregnancy is between 11 and 13 weeks.
    3. Keep the pregnancy if the genotype is acceptable (75% chance) versus have an abortion if SS (25% chance per pregnancy)
    4. The test costs 260,000 naira in Lagos...try Mecure, LUTH.
    5.Doing same with my spouse, so practicing what I am preaching.
    6.Breaking up is also an option....may God help you make the right decision.

    Best of luck with your decision.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam doctor,
      Since it all boils down to counseling kindly take the time out and type out all the options ,their pros and cons.
      I am not saying you are lying o, it's up to this poster to make a choice and making a choice to get married ain't bad if she and the boo both understand everything and are making an informed decision.
      Like you stated chorionic billi sampling costs 260000 naira, it isnt a big deal for you given that many government hospitals now pay skipping for doctors so after coughing that out from a doctors monthly salary ...and a supportive spouse ..no biggie
      Hope you will also mention that if the CVS proves that the unborn has the disease, she has to make a decision to flush out that pregnancy and then try to get pregnant again whilst taking another 260k to go do another CVS?
      Or better still to avoid the mental trauma of repeated flushing for some.( I know someone who had the CVS done multiple times at least 3 times and pregnancy was flushed put on those occassions) she should just get egg donation ,that is if her husband wont use it against her.
      Do also mention that the CVS as a test ain't 100% specific( no test is by the way).
      And of course mention that some AS and AS get married and are lucky that their kids are the 25% that aint even carriers( my uncle is a testimony) and some do the CVS once and the test is good and babies ain't SCD.

      Anyway.poster make your choice, if you have the money and this boo of yours is a saint you claim he is and ready to be supportive all the way, of course AS genotype won't be a deterrent..but if you feel otherwise as it appears you and your boo have broken up sef ,its better you cry it out now before one screams had I known.

      Relationship is sweet and we don't know the level of understanding you and this boo have lest you submit another Chronicle stating you wish you backed out.

      Madam doctor, I wish you the best in your journey ,may God make it a smooth one and may your babies all come out healthy too.

      Delete
  18. I have had similar experience
    e ,with time you will heal, painful but it's the best decision

    ReplyDelete
  19. Awwwwwww πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€— I pray you meet someone who ticks your boxes in ever way. Especially the genotype box.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Story of my life,same thing happened to me,it was painful though but i had to move on.
    Poster you will be fine.Your man will come.DO NOT GO AHEAD WITH THE WEDDING

    ReplyDelete
  21. I checked my genotype while in Uni and it was AA I married my husband thinking I was AA. Thank God he is AA I found out I was AS when I got pregnant and they did a blood test. These mistakes happen sorry I can imagine how bad you feel

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's why it's advisable to do it more than once.
      Poster you made either right decision. Be strong.

      Delete
  22. If there is resources for it please kindly do IVF. Money can buy you happiness at times. Its a bit hard to find true love, talking from my own experience. But then if there isnt much funds you can move on, God will strengthen your heart. Don't be sad okay?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you!

      See them shouting leave him like it's everyday you find soulmates

      Mtshewww

      Delete
  23. That's the issue I have with humans.
    Poster you said you love this guy and you perfectly match.why not go ahead and marry and you both can adopt or IVF?
    Human beings limit their selves in so many ways in a world no inebriated is getting out of!this life is simple let's keep it simple!not necessarily you must have your own kids!jeees.live this life like a kid that nothing troubles or disturbs.free hearted and spirited.children are many looking for who to take care of them.how then do people say they are in love ? If i love a lady nothing can separate us.if I am in your shoes I will option for adoption that's the true definitub of my type of love.i will go adopt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Geez. People worry too much on things that we now have control over. What if babies do not come? will that be the end of your marriage. Wont you look for other options?

      Delete
    2. Thank you my people 17:17 and Babe

      I tire for humans; especially Nigerians

      Why complicate life?

      Life is getting easier; they are choosing misery and pain.

      Nawa

      Delete
  24. Currently going through this. I do not understand why we Africans do not actually think deep. The world is more advanced and we have decided to remain in the dark age. There are worse things that can happen in a marriage than having SS children- what if you or your husband are infertile? or you eventually marry someone with AA genotype and have children with down syndrome/autism or other genetic diseases? Would you bail out of the marriage then? We are always too quick to throw the baby out with the bath water. I agree that bringing a sick child into the world is a NO NO but there are medical technologies to go around that now, go see a fertility doctor especially one that specializes in genetics and read up on PGT and CVS. CVS involves testing the baby in utero for Sickle cell disease and terminating affected ones (remember there are only one in 4 chances of having an SS baby so nobody should come under my comment saying will u terminate all your pregnancies. If you have a high risk pregnancy e.g ectopic that can lead to loss of the mother's life. Wont you terminate it?) Think well o and do not miss out of the love of your life for a flimsy reason. if both of you are committed and strong enough, please proceed. Besides, procreation is not the only reason for marriage. Infact it is one of the last benefits of marriage. My advise to you is to sit your would be husband down, have deep conversations about your situation, go to a fertility clinic and speak to a doctor, commit your journey to God's hands and explore your best options in ensuring you do not bring SS children into this world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First of all, I think you misunderstand the “1 in 4 risk for sickle cell”. It doesn’t mean that only one out of four of your children will have SCD... it means that for each single pregnancy you carry, each one child has a 25% risk of having SCD, therefore every one of your kids has a 25% risk of having SCD. One can be so unlucky that all their kids have it. I know someone whose two kids have it then she stopped having kids, I think her marriage broke from the stress of having sick kids

      If you have ever lost a child that you want in utero, it wouldn’t be easy for you to tell someone to terminate even one.

      Also, you don’t know the financial capacity of this person. This is not about being in the dark ages. This is about weighing one’s options and deciding which is the ‘lesser evil’. Nobody on this blog is going to shoulder the emotional or financial responsibilities of posters decision with her.

      Delete
    2. I love your spirit! They are so backward aswear

      They menstruate o and throw away millions of sperms everyday.

      Just to use medicine and get it right while building your world with the love of your life is now wahala.

      Oh well; our priorities are different in life sha...

      Delete
    3. You have someone that is willing to go all the way and probably have the money.
      Do you know this posters financial status?
      Even the IVF isnt 100% sure , some people are favored and it takes one time and some others have to go through many cycles.
      It's not as if one can't get financially big sometime soon to embark on the IVF journey because no one knows tomorrow but then what if?
      As it is the poster and her boo have both come to a conclusion, it's not a matter of the boo insisting and she is weary it appears they have both agreed. So she should force humans and tomorrow they experience some delays or something happens..matter have spoil.
      Anyway to each his own..
      I wish everyone well.
      Alot of people know the other options but choose to avoid walking in, its different if they found out after they got married.

      Delete
    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    5. 75% chance of having the gene..25% sickle cell disease and 50% carrier status...before I mislead you with initial typo error

      Delete
  25. Try a 3rd lab. And go alone.

    ReplyDelete
  26. So sorry dear..it can't even imagine what u r going right now,but it's better this way cos d pains ahead assuming u two get married will be worse honesty! Dust it off,it's not d end of life..God will bring ur own man who is AA to compliment urs

    ReplyDelete
  27. This case involves alot of wisdom. My aunt had the same issue and she could not marry the guy but married someone else. She and this man knew each other from jss1 way back. Now they are both married to two different people but I know the love is still there btw them. She once said something that if she had known,she would have married the guy and probably figured something out. Her current husband according to her is nothing to write home about. But I pray and blive that her joy will be full someday. I noticed that most of the men I end up liking are always AS like me. So b4 it gets too deep,I just cut off. Pls take heart. I will include u in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I know someone that had similar case,she got married to the guy like that. I was mad when I found out and felt they were selfish and all. They took their time and later when to a bigger hospital to check again and one of them happens to be AC. So go to a very good hospital to check again,where genotypes other than AS,AA and SS can be detected . I don't know much about it but I was told some device classify other genotypes other than AA and SS as AS. You might be lucky who knows

    ReplyDelete
  29. Poster can you go to another standard laboratory and run the test again. I don’t understand why there are so many inaccurate results with SC genotype testing. This is getting out of hand.

    Whatever the final results are, only you can weigh your options and decide what you will finally do. Is your love worth the stress and uncertainty that comes with SCD or not?
    There are alternative options that have been made available by modern science but even those come with their own stress.
    Everything comes at a price. What price are you willing to pay?

    ReplyDelete
  30. There are many ways out if you have money . Read about chorionic villus sampling . IVF+ embryonic transfer is another way out. These cost money . Remain broken up you’re not bouyant enough yet or if abortion can never be accepted to you . Peace

    ReplyDelete
  31. Blogger it is better to let go of the relationship so that u can have healthy children... I am going through similar situation for the past 14yrs of my life with broken relationships cos of my genotype... The last guy just did his introduction last month and will be getting married in February..I will be 35yrs old next year and I'm not into any relationship at the moment but I believe with God by my side 2020 will be my year... Just hold on to God cos I know how it feels like... D heartbreak and the stress of starting all over again but with God all things are possible..

    ReplyDelete
  32. Poster, I know how you feel right now but you will be fine.Growing up I watched our neighbour's children die. When it was time for me to get married, I met a Dr who was everything to me. He insisted we get married even when he knows that we are AS.He said that he is a doctor and can handle it. It was difficult but I refused.

    ReplyDelete
  33. May God heal your broken hearts.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Dear poster same thing happened to me! All my life I thought I was AA I even took a test b4 wedding n still believed I was AA until after marriage, I got married to hubby moved abroad got pregnant n found out I was AS when taking those routine pregnancy tests, I had to go to another hospital to retest n boom I'm AS. My only saving grace is that hubby is AA. U'll be fine dear. Most of our Nigerian hospitals & labs are pathetic

    ReplyDelete
  35. hmm.....very dicey situation
    I'm currently with a sickle cell child. all our tests before marriage showed I was AS and hubby AA.
    imagine our shock after 14yrs of marriage and waiting..... our child was diagnosed SS?
    the pain was out of this world.
    don't wish anyone to go through it

    lf you can, go your separate ways.

    I'd also advice you and your prospective to visit the sickle cell foundation opposite LUTH for counselling.If afterwards you feel you can cope with it(there are better treatment option these days,thanks to technology)then you can go ahead.
    I wish you good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Poster go and look for sickle scan RDT. For the fact you've gotten AA results before means your AS can still be wrong because the traditional method of genotype testing is prone to human error. An RDT will give you instant results with no human interference

    ReplyDelete

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