Stella Dimoko African Parents Mentality ......


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Thursday, January 23, 2020

African Parents Mentality ......

You will not believe what goes on in the head of an African parent........

Read up and let us discuss!


  1. Just like they want their daughters with babies to be gloriously married but reject single mothers their sons brought home. Its all bores down to selfishness. Our people always look out for what will benefit them only.

  2. I dont think saying African parents is actually fair. I think the word should be Nigerian parents. If only they know that divorced women actually make better wives later on bcos they already learned and knew some mistakes they made. I mean the ones that have sense o. Cos some will make the same mistake all over again. But on a serious note doh,it should not be a big deal.

    1. It's an African thing
      Not just a Nigerian thing
      And it's generally very bad , I've seen people make mockery of women who already have kids, I've seen people make mockery of divorcees ,
      One time one lady didnt want her son to marry his girlfriend cos she was the child of a divorcee and she believed her mother's Ill luck would rub off on her .

    2. Omg!!! I am beyond shocked!!๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ

    3. My husband's elder brother was dating a lady with 2 kids and he didn't disclose the fact to his family because he knew they wouldn't accept her.

      The day my mother in law knew, she was calling her condemned product, expired product, ko le fe omo mi.

      But what worried me most was the fact that this lady was so good to them, took care of them like her own parents, wash clothes with faeces because my father in law was sick at the time, driving and following them to the hospital when their own son will refuse to take them.

      But all these didn't matter because they discovered she had kids, wicked lots

    4. "divorced women actually make better wives" is a generalization that would not be true if the woman carries the same issues into her new marriage.

  3. True.. Double standards.

  4. I am an African parent
    By God's Grace, I won't interfere in my children's choices of spouses. I owe them a duty to train them in the way of the Lord.
    I will not want my daughters to divorce in the first place. I will do everything I can to train them well to make the right (non-greedy, non-abroad driven ๐Ÿ˜Š) choices.
    Train them to be godly and not pursue fantasies. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š
    Why? Ajuju o
    God hates divorce... Mal. 2:15-16
    Offloading of husbands is never a solution.
    And for my son...
    Luke 16:18 "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

    If the woman divorced her husband because of adultery (Matthew 5:32) and she is a believer, why not? She is free to marry him.

    But you see that thing wey you yarn inside that box up there? Na Naija women's ways. They won't even allow their brothers to date their friends (who are runs girls) but they themselves will date sugar (bitter) daddies and do ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿป‍♀️๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿป‍♀️

    1. Is this the Matthew 5:32 that I know or you manufacture your own?

    2. Sometimes I wonder the Jesus Christ you gave your life to, too judgmental

    3. She gave her life to Jesus of Oyingbo not Jesus Christ of Nazareth

    4. She obviously manufactured her own......Too much talk won't allow her reason and digest it well. #oversabimadam

    5. @Madam E
      Maybe we need to see this one too:
      Mathew 19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

      Sexual immorality is the only Scriptural reason for a divorce but that does not remove the fact that God
      "hates divorce"
      Please we are here for a discussion and instead of insulting me, teach me inugo?
      If I wrote there that my son will never marry a divorced woman, you will still shoot arrows; won't you?
      Ajuju o ๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️

    6. @Hurpe
      Who did I judge in my yarns up there and how many eternities did I sentence them?
      Okwa ajuju oo ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

      @Yori the known arrow shooter
      You that gave your life to Jesus of Nazareth, why not teach me?
      Why not show me Scriptures so that I can learn?
      Zaa m ajuju o

    7. God forbid you as a mother in law. You are a horrible judgemental and wicked person, you will judge so much that if It were possible, you will want to know if รฝour prospective daughter in law is a virgin by examining her yourself.

      But God has a way of humbling people like you. One or 2 of your children will show you shege, just wait and see.

      I know a lot of self absorbed so called born again Christians who used all their energy to monitor and judge other people's kids thinking theirs was perfect and they had it all figured out. Guess what? Those children they thought were bad actually turned out better than their own kids.

      Who advises this way let alone wins souls for christ in this matter?? You have turned Christianity into a joke where you throw jabs and mock people at will. Don't worry, just continue you hear.

    8. Mark 10:10When they were back inside the house, the disciples asked Jesus about this matter. 11So He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

      My understanding is that the only exception to this rule is in case of sexual immorality.

    9. Anon 14:33 you are going too far.stick to the topic
      Her kids,her family,her perception.
      Mind what you say to a fellow woman.

    10. please ma where does forgiveness comes in

    11. 14:33
      Why are you involving Innocent children in this ?

    12. Still waiting for ANG's lovers to applaud this comment ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ

    13. @15:43
      Thanks for cussing me and my children. "An undeserved curse does not come to rest..." (search the quote online)
      May all your children be the best that God has for them
      May you grow old and may all your kids look well after you
      May none of your kids ever become wayward or bring you sorrow
      My blessings on all your kids and generations to come
      May you and your husband find joy in Christ and eschew bitterness
      May Jesus salvation rest upon your soul and grant you peace.
      My love and prayers I carry give you always inugo?
      ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ And may nobody ever insult you the way you
      insulted me.
      Thank you very much inugo? ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

    14. @Unknown
      Thanks for your question. I will write what I understand
      Forgiveness is God's.
      Jesus never taught that because of sexual immorality, a marriage must dissolve -NO
      "For if you forgive men their tresspasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you..."
      Now, the spouse may also forgive but decide not to continue in the marriage.
      Not forgiving is not an option for a can cost one eternity. See Matthew 18
      in the parable of the unforgiving servant.
      The decision to stay or leave in case of sexual immorality is the exclusive preserve of the
      hurting spouse and no one should interfere just like the decision to marry is for the spouses to
      decide and no interference.

    15. I didn't curse her children, I will never curse her children or anyone's kids but If you guys think I went overboard mentioning them at all, I take that bit back and apologise unlike Madam Ang who thinks she knows it all and can never be corrected.

      She needs to stop this sanctimonious, I am perfect and got it all figured attitude, it is disgusting. People encounter christ at different points in their life and this is not how to preach the gospel. It is not competition neither is it a joke.

      Mocking people and throwing jabs at naija girls unnecessarily when It is not even called for and you say you are preaching.

      What is even wrong with wanting to travel abroad? Except one is desperate and goes about it the wrong way, there is nothing wrong in seeking better opportunities.

      I just hate her style, crude, insensitive, mean and vulgar way of passing her message claiming she is preaching.

      @ tenth , She should be the one to mind what she says and how she says it to her fellow women if indeed she is a woman because she seems to lack any empathy or wisdom.

      I have never seen a born again Christian soaked in the word of God talk this loosely and carelessly.

      Jesus wouldn't do this or appeove it.

    16. Hahahahaha. ang sure knows how to string them along. I knew her comment will attract explosion on this post.
      and 16:07, it's too late. You are still attacking her in your so called take back. You cursed her and her children and
      there are multiple witnesses there. You even lied on top of the curses. I am glad she replied you like a christian should. That is one thing that she has going for her. No matter how you curse her, she does not curse back.

    17. @ 16.33, get lost with your stupidity. It is too late so what will happen, you will come and beat me or what will happen?

      My opinion about her still stands, nothing changed at all except for the part I mentioned her kids.

      I do not see life from my perspective only, nobody knows it all except for some perfect people with no flaws or sins.

      As per those prayers, I will pass, no be every prayer person dey say amen to especially when the person does not project christ the way they should. It is not by quoting bible verses biko,let it reflect in your deeds, words and actions.

    18. 14.33/18.18
      I completely understand how you feel. This ANG has become something else, very obnoxious. Life has its way of teaching such people in its own way.

    19. Ang is two faced. Bite you and blow you breeze. Mock you and preach to you at the same time. Pass infuriating comment then quickly hide behind a bible passage. Pass insensitive judgements and wave a white handkerchief as a peace bringer. Her type is the truly vile and evil kind.

    20. @18:18
      Everything coming out of your mouth is either a curse or insult, why? And you want us to believe that you are the Christian here? Just read your first sentence and see. smh

    21. You said nothing wrong.D way she claims to be telling 'naija girls' the truth is the way you are also telling her the truth.No need to retract or take back.

    22. @Elle
      What else has she become? That she tells you and other girls to stop aborting and stop fornicating? Read the comments again and tell me who the insulter is. That anonymous insulted her and thought that all of us will join her and when that was not the case she freaked out and rained more insults even on the ones that disagreed with her.

    23. Freaked out ko freaked in ni. Ang you are very delusional. Yes I know it is you.

      FYI, I am married to the glory of God, with kids, not because I am sinless or perfect.

      If you think it is because of what you did right you are married, there are one million and one people who can do it better and have dine it better and they are not married, there are people who married chaste that are still looking for the fruit of the womb, there are people who even had it all and lost everything, that job you have there are people who can do it better so be humble and stop the self exaltation and mumbo jumbo.

      Most importantly, If you are not dull, you won't think It is everybody that aborts on this blog, some are mothers and even grandmothers. If someone counters the way you preach, then the person aborts abi? I wonder how some of you even passed. The joke is on you ok, you need to go back to the drawing board.

    24. 20.13 drop your comment and keep it moving. I am free to express my opinion which is that ANG is obnoxious!! No one is asking you to join anything, this is not an association.
      P.S. - It's ridiculous for you to assume anyone not supporting ANG is someone who aborts. Rubbish.

    25. Saphire, you are 101% correct. You have studied her very well. I am preaching the gospel yen yen yen underneath she is using you to catch trips, making silly jokes and other nonsense.

  5. Until something happens to them personally, they'll always be against it.

    1. Even when it happens to their daughters, they will still be against it

  6. Princess Scheherazade23 January 2020 at 13:17

    Patriarchy is rife in Africa... and mostly perpetuated by women, unfortunately.

  7. To start with , it's an Africa thing as the post rightly stated where people prefer a single unmarried woman than a divorced woman. I have seen dating sites overseas dedicated for divorcees but here in the Africa continent, such a thing won't thrive. This can only succeed here when the man and his family don't know about the woman divorce status. .

    One reason I believe Africans don't like settling with a divorced woman is cos, they have this mentality which is sometimes wrong that if a woman is a good wife she won't be divorced by the husband in the first place.

    I have seen people say, if she can't keep the first marriage, how can she keep another? This is one misconception most parents hold unto which is false. A divorcee can be a super woman in her second marriage so also the man as well. This is the sole reason we often advocate for people to give love a second chance.

    1. if they want is cheating front and back, if the want want to kill her she should stay and make the marriage work. No way let the woman walk away from a bad husband than to die because of what people will say.

    2. Teejay, this is not an African thing or a Nigerian thing. This is a family or cultural attitude. Divorcees are hot cakes and desired in Ethiopia. There are families in America and Asia who will not accept a divorcee or single mom either. My South Korean friend experienced it. Hausa divorcees also find husband's easily, though not all. Some don't even want it. That websites exist doesn't mean Ia a country has accepted something. In the US, some sites are for single parents only. I agree with your other comments.

  8. don't mind those parent with such mentality. I will never judge any man or woman who want to remarry or is divorced because i was not there, i cannot tell what went wrong, why they both fell out of love and marriage. My own is before you marry a divorced man/woman make sure you have done proper investigation, you go out of your way to be sure what they are saying is the real thing, you are so sure the person is not still married. If you can meet up the other person and ask questions please go ahead and do so, else just walk away.
    Parents should stop saying their sons shouldn't marry a divorced woman, because if the lady is your daughter how will you feel?

  9. That was how one woman in my town said that her son will not marry "a divorcee/osu with 2 kids" and fought the girl off.
    Okay, her daughter brought home a divorced "osu" man with 3 kids based in Canada and she began preparing for her wedding saying that that one was "born again" ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ. She even fought the girl's dad off.
    Afghanistan better pass that family now. Everything fell scatter, scatter for years now ...

    1. Madame koinkoin aka the 'peace maker'23 January 2020 at 13:54

      Looooool at your last paragraph!

    2. that is why is not good to laugh at anyone's condition.

    3. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  10. Stella, it still boils down to selfishness by humans they only want the good things for themselves not others

  11. They see nothing wrong when their single daughters marries a single father, but will raise brows when their single son is marrying a single mother.

    This made me dislike one guy so much. He's a single father, he told my mother he is interested in marrying me because I'm single and no baggage (according to him). but he is refusing another lady who is a single mother because of her children. I told him if he's the last man on Earth, I will never agree to date talkmore marry him. Selfish man

    1. So he was pointing at her baggage meanwhile forgetting his own suitcases and ecola box?


    2. @Ecola box๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  12. The same way a Nigerian woman will almost kill herself if her husband has a side chic, but will not mind if the same husband goes abroad and marries anoder woman for paper. She will patiently endure that marriage, even when d man divorces her here in Nigeria before he goes ahead with the abroad marriage.

    1. That abroad marriage is the height of deceit.
      I feel for the white women honestly

  13. To be fair, I think it's classic human nature and not just African parents. A lot of people generalize regardless of the fact that they know little or nothing about people from other countries or continents. My late Nana, God rest her sweet soul, is Irish but her mentality when it comes to marriage and keeping the homefront, is more African than the average African woman. One of my sisters-in-law is Asian but she still wakes up very early to cater to my brother, even before their kids. Regardless of their househelps and cooks, she sees it as her duty to serve her husband and he always comes first. Don't believe the hype, I know cultures and traditions of countries differ but human nature is universal, with a few exceptions, of course.

    There's a reason doctors are advised not to treat family members. The rationale is, your judgement gets clouded by emotions and it's nearly impossible not to get emotional when the patient is family. In a bid to be overly careful, you end up making costly mistakes. It's easy to sound woke and open minded when the subject of the discussion don't hit home, but when the spotlight is shone on you, you'll begin to backtrack and give excuses for doing the opposite of what you've always preached.

    Every normal parent wants the best for their children. It's okay when someone else's child performs below average. You'll sound understanding and "cool". You may even advise the parents not to be too hard on their child, but when your child does the same thing... A quote goes this " don't criticize others for what they aren't doing until and unless you've done same". It's human nature to pontificate and be judgemental on issues unrelated to you. We tend not to be empathetic to the struggles of others until we find ourselves in the same or a similar situation, regardless of our individual races.

    True, caucasians are more liberal but that doesn't mean they wouldn't prefer their children to get married to never-before-married men or women. They may just stay out of their children's decisions but a few will still interfere and threaten to disinherit their children if they don't marry from a certain class. Haven't you heard about caucasian ladies kicked out of their families for marrying a "black" man?. It's not just an African thing, it's a human nature thing to prefer a particular tribe, status, religious affiliation, colour, shape et al. Our biases and prejudices differ but we all have them. Just because mine is not yours doesn't make mine better than yours.

    1. Ronalda๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜™๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’“❤๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ if you cannot park all I can help with truck! Damn woman you are filled with wisdom. African women this,Nigeria women that! For heaven sake!!

    2. Oh Ronalda, blessed art thou amongst many. Thank you!!
      And I just learnt a new word 'pontificate'. ๐Ÿ‘

    3. Ronalda,what's your favorite drink? May the good heavens continue to fill you with more more and more wisdom and strength I love you and you inspire me.

    4. You are so wise....I need friends like you in my life.

    5. Oh Ronalda, what can I do to be as intelligent as you are? ๐Ÿ˜ข.

    6. Spot on ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

    7. ANG, please come and read this, and learn how to communicate

    8. Kikiki @ Elle. She will never because she is too arrogant to take corrections. I guess if you don't have it you don't have it.

  14. Well some parents/siblings that fights against it have their reasons and I can't fault or blame them

  15. I can't sleep with a woman with two children not to talk Of marrying them.

  16. Hmmmmmm,my mum has 5 siblings the last is a boy.

    Three out of the 4 girls had two marriages with the second marriage intact and fun filled .

    When the last born which is a boy was to get married ,he was dating a mother of 2 or 3 kids.We do not know the exact number of kids she has.

    This lady was very nice ,whenever we go there she takes good care of us.
    Do you know that My mum and her siblings refused ,even us too, but what do we know then ,we were only teenagers.

    My uncle ended up marrying someone that showed my mum and her siblings shege๐Ÿ˜‚.

    My dad and one of my aunt's husband loved the single mum and asked them to all leave my uncle to make his choice but they all refused .

    My dad really made fun of them all back then.

    Please nobody should say bad things about my mum and siblings please I love them all.

    They all forgot someone married them in their divorced state and did not mind.

  17. Why buy salvage car when you can afford a new one? It is not just about marrying the lady but having to deal with the ex when issues about his kids come up. Who says your wife wont be out sleeping with him when your marriage hits the rock. I ain't dealing with anybody's baggage. Go find who impregnated you and marry him. Case closed.

    1. You are a man from your handwriting but an unfortunate one no woman should even look at.

      You reasoned like a fool, thank God you are not God

  18. @ronalda nice one but to be fair we don't have to have been in or experience a situation before we do what is fair and just as humans.. That is why the bible said 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'luke 6:31 apart from coming from the religious aspect of it,socially that is a golden rule that keeps us abay from being inhuman to our fellow humans.. So I still see no reason why you all attack ANG.. She is one of the honest persons here.. We all have different styles of preaching,writing, signing with one goal in communicate! So if you feel she is being judgemental it means your conscience needs some cleansing and offloading. And please this is my humble opinion las las

    1. **if you feel she is being judgemental it means your conscience needs some cleansing and offloading

      False. We should also learn to speak the truth in love. That people call ANG out does not mean she is right neither does it mean others are guilty of aborting.

    2. Yeye style that is pushing people away from christ. How many souls has she won for christ with her unique style? Eeeish.

  19. @EV,in this situation now what did she do wrong..she only pointed out a very salient issue which most of us are all guilty of..double standard.people like dishing out what they can't take, you want your brother to marry a girl one step a way from the convent,but wants a man to love and cherish all your baggage.I wonder how fair that is. And my dear there is only ONE TRUTH, there is nothing like sugar coated truth.. Which is why you all her amiable antagonists sleeps and wakes up with her post alarm,because it actually do hit a nerve that needs repair. Truth is usually bitter to a proud person. As for the anon asking how many souls she has won for Christ? Really? She has helped a lot of you people reevaluate your lives consciously or subconsciously. You can choose to leave in denial,as for me she has awoken a consciousness that i have taken for granted as a true christian..not saying this to patronize her oh. As everybody they feel woke in today's world let us all remember that God's standard doesn't change.. And to think that someone took out time to cuss out her kids and she still didn't give you the reaction you hoped for the joke is on you!!


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