Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....


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Saturday, January 18, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....



Madam Stella, good day. I'm writing this with a heavy bitterness in my heart. I traveled for Christmas and got the most shocking news of my life. I'm sorry it would be a long read, kindly forgive my errors.

This is it: some years back, my elder sister got pregnant out of wedlock and was told to abort it by her boyfriend. When she told me, I was mad at her for getting pregnant but still advised her to keep the baby and she did. Though I told her not to travel and stay with my parents cos I imagined the kind of humiliation she would get from them especially my mum. Fast forward to when she told my aunt (my dad's younger sister) cos they were kinda close. She told my sister to come stay with her so that she can take care of her as she needs a motherly care in that condition. 

I never liked the idea but I couldn't object cos then I was just a secondary school leaver, had no money and still struggling with life(I came from a poor background and I saw myself through school). After some weeks of staying with my aunt, she started pressuring my sister to get married. And the people she was introducing to my sister are elderly men, handicapped men, aged married men without children and even married women without children. She told my sis that those are the only people that can marry her in that condition and that if she miss that opportunity, she won't get married ever again.

 My sister accepted and then told me about it and who she had chosen. But I told her that even if she wants to marry any of them, she should just wait till she give birth and then make decisions by herself cos I could understand she was frustrated. She told my aunt that she wanted to wait till she put to bed but my aunt got angry and threatened to throw her out of the house if she fails to get married immediately. 

In that anger my aunt called my mum and intimated her about my sisters pregnancy and all hell let loose. My mum called my sister and placed several curses I can't mention on her and then went on to tell my aunt to throw her out of the house. So my sis had no other place to go than coming to the village, she was already 7 months gone. My mom rejected her but after pleading from few family members she was accepted but the punishment that was metted on her; it would have been better she didn't come back at all.

In her 8th month, a young guy started coming for her hand in marriage and I still insisted she should wait until after delivery but my family wouldn't have it and herself too. She told me that I said that the other people are old now there's a young guy(about 30 years then)but I'm still insisting. That may be I'm the one who is bad after all, may be I want her to spend the rest of her life in our house(my only reason was for her to make decisions herself and not under pressure to avoid regrets later). Because of her and how I advised her not to abort the baby, I didn't go on with my admission, I started working and sending her money for upkeep and baby things as my parents hardly ask her if she needs anything. I felt bad and I threatened to have nothing to do with her if she went ahead with the marriage. 

She said that I'm not her God that she would even help me forget her by deleting my number after that call, that I'm never happy for her and that she wouldn't have listened to me from the onset. 
I backed off and they finally got married. I don't want to go into details of how I've been the one taking care of she and her 3 children (they were 4 but she lost one) since after she gave birth to that first one, paying house rent and all.
Then fast forward to this Christmas that just passed, I traveled to go see them as it's been a while I saw them last. The news I got had kept me shocked, bitter and unkept since the day I heard it. 

My sis used to be chubby and bursty and i thought she became extremely skinny due to suffering but I was in for a shocker. Back when they just got married, she always noticed the man take some drugs and when she quizzed him, he said it's cos of strain he sustained in his back because of the load he carries(note that he told my sis that he's into spare parts business but it turned out that he does nothing for a living other than help buyers carry load in the market which he stopped few months after they got married and depended solely on my sis who on the other hand depends on me and the petty kiosk she had. And he also doesn't live in a house as he told my sis but sleeps in front of the shops when the market is closed till I rented one for them). My sis only found out when she married him. And then, when my sister got pregnant for the 4th child, she was always unusually sick. She visited the hospital and was told that her immune system was down and needs to be boosted, she started taking medication but was advised to go for HIV/AIDS test.

Lo and behold! My sis fainted on getting the news. She was tested positive, she didn't regain herself till after about a week. She had to go to another hospital and it was still same. They advised her to start taking medication immediately if she wants to live at least for her children. She went home and asked the evil man, his response was that he was waiting for the right time to tell her. He didn't feel sorry nor apologized. Right now I feel like killing that man. I'm bitter. If I have a gun, I will shoot him and go to jail.

* I dont get it it at all,how can someone have this kind of illness and hide it from their partner and go on spreading it?so now you have to start making sure your sis gets her medication.
No need to shoot him.he is already down.


  1. This is sad, so so sad.......

    1. A simple abortion would have solved this. Yes, I am pro-choice and not in support of birthing a child just because you got pregnant. Sex is basic human need and if you can't abstain, use protection or emergency contraceptive. If it does not work, get an abortion!

      Sad tale. Now the live of 6 people or more are affected including the poster and his future family because he won't sleep knowing his beloved sister and children are sick and hungry meanwhile reducing the quality of live he would have provided his nuclear family.

    2. Oh Jesus,oh merciful Jesus have mercy
      This is sad

    3. Jesus Christ! Omg! This is so sad! Pregnancy outside marriage shouldn’t make one marry wrong! Damn it! This chronicle make me feel so sad and bitter.

  2. When you have useless parents ,their offspring are treated like nothing
    Your sister made a mistake and your mother buried her future.
    The way forward is treatment if it
    has not already eaten her up for this long.

  3. If your story is true

    Let your sister start medication and move on with her life, less burden without a grown nuisance.

    No more kids for her , family planning must be done

    Put a time frame on the help, start getting your own life together

    Let the man go
    He is full of dishonesty so never expect honesty from him

    Your sister made some wring decisions it is time for her to make some right ones going forward

    Non bitterness
    Tell her not to give him that

    Let her get her act together and face her future

  4. Its unfortunate and painful that we have to suffer the effects our family members poor choices along with them. She's positive already so she should just do her best to stay up to date with her treatment. I hope the kids arent infected. The husband: she should just abandon him in his corner. No use following his issue.

  5. Your parents mostly your mum failed you and your sister. ‘This is so painful. Is your sister the first girl to be pregnant at a tender age without being married?
    If your mum had played her role....nurturing her to make sure she had her baby, none of these would be happening. Correct mothers who want the best for their daughters know what to do in a situation like this.
    It has happened, try and encourage your sister to move on from it, take her medications and she’ll be fine. As for that husband of hers, SMH.

    1. Slutty, you forget parents also have a life of their own to live? Will they kill themselves because one child has decided to multiply an existing lack and poverty? Well, from the write up it is clear the parents are not literate and poor so they did what they knew to handle the situation.

      Legalise abortion!

  6. Wickedness in high places, how are the kids? Are they ok?

  7. So sad and sorry to read this unfortunate story 😢😢😢but I will still yarn. And my yarn will begin with my ajuju n'ese okwu o...
    All these just because a girl opened her legs to an opportunist forkboy? 😮😮😮
    When I say close legs till a man OF YOUR CHOICE pays your bride price, all Naija girls will come down and shoot their arrows
    And the first forkboy isn't going through any of these, is he?
    And you the sister aren't mad at here for stealing fork aghara aghara but "for getting pregnant"; really?
    Okwa ajuju oo 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
    I am just so sad to read this avoidable blunders that is tossing this Sisi up and down.
    And please ladies, getting married under pressure because you carry belle is not a solution.
    shooting off too, is not a solution; for I know that ndi uta will advocate for that one in circumstances like this.
    Shooting the hiv man and going to jail is not a solution too.
    What is the solution?
    Ajuju oo
    Aziza -JESUS -the one you have shunned his invitation all these while. Live the abundant life here and hereafter.

    1. I have never paid attention to you before but reading these u put up here is so insensitive. I really had to restrain myself from lashing at u.pls know when to act sane.

    2. @Pwetie
      It is not time for lashing for your lashing is the real insensitivity.
      It is not even time for pity parties.
      it is time for reality, speak the truth and learn from the truth and stop
      all these arrow shooting. Some of you (Naija) girls do not come here to learn
      And that is why a lot of you end up making same mistakes. Have we not read this
      type of chronicles multiple times -fork-pregnant -marry any dude that shows up -sickness/sorrows
      and chronicles 😮😮😮😮
      Pity party isn't going to help this girl, the poster or even yourself.🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

    3. @ ANG, you must be a simpleton. Who the hell are you to start dictating to a grown woman if she should have sex or abort the babies? I know your type. You keep yapping about ‘offload’. Pls tell us how many kids have you taken off the streets & given a better life? How many orphanages have you visited to give them stuff? Why haven’t you gone to the north to advocate for #childnotbride? The men who are perpetuating this crime, u leave them out & claim cos ‘it’s mostly women that read this blog’ as if u were sent to take the statistics. No wonder people think you’re a man pretending to be a woman, you really are a psychopath. Bloody Pharisee.

    4. Anon 21:50, thanks for your comment. She is really a hypocritical psychopath!!!

  8. If your parents had accepted your sister without humiliating her, all these would have been would have been avoided. Your sister needs to leave that bad luck of a husband, he needs to do time for knowingly infecting her and she should take her medication judiciously. There are now diseases that can kill faster than HIV. It is well with you because as it is now all the load is on your head.

    1. Chei!!!,ur mother FAIlED ur sister,😭😭😭😭😭.

  9. I don't know of I should say your sister lacked exposure or what. She married a poor man and was still birthing children for him? On top poverty.

    To make matters worse, he gave her HIV as a present. Ajigbijigbi this one burst my head! Alexa! Play me today na today..... in fact, Alexa switch off and disconnect from the Wi-Fi.

  10. Wow he preyed on her vulnerability, he was just looking for someone to live off. I advice she leave him and start her life with her kids Hiv is not a death sentence she can still live a wholesome life with it.

    Sad this is not a country with laws against such a crime if not he should be rotting in jail.
    If their Are any ngo's that can help her and her kids look it to it, it's very important she takes her drugs to reduce the chances of infecting her baby during delivery. All the best!

  11. Wow I am shocked she's just finding out about her HIV status... I know that during ante-natal, these tests are usually carried out on pregnant women. Speaking of her kids, I hope they are okay. Did they test positive as well?
    This is really sad; as callous as it sounds, nothing can be done at this point. If you kill the man, it won't reverse her HIV status. She should just focus on achieving and maintaining optimum health and ensuring her kids are healthy too. I would also advise her to lose the so-called husband, he's brought nothing but hardship and STD to her. God will see her through.
    This is what happens when marriage is seen as the best thing that can ever happen to a woman. It's not something that should be jumped into, regardless of what circumstance one is in. Even a single mother should have her own standards and should not be fooled into believing that foolish "no man will want you" narrative.

    1. Lol in their state of poverty you’re asking about her not going to the hospital for ante natal? She could have given birth in her house na. After all, no be for only hospital dem dey born pikin.

  12. This is by far the saddest story i have read this year...the deed has been done but i will partly blame your parents for not accepting her and showing her love when she needed it. It's a difficult pill for any parent to swallow but they shouldn't have thrown her to the wolfs like they did.
    Please you are the only one your sister have left, curtail your anger, if you can afford it,get your sister and her children far away from that beast/demon of a man. Get the children tested and try to take care of them. It's a very huge responsibility but that's what we do for the people we love.

    1. Love can do so much........
      I wish people can realise this.

  13. This is so sad, people are extremely wicked...i will advise that your sister should start taking her drugs as the deed has already been done

  14. That's the path she choose..
    You can't leave her now, you have to keep on helping her.

  15. I hope we all learn from this stories,it shouldn’t just be for entertainment.If you have the means,take your sister to the state you are so you can always make sure she’s taking her drugs.She needs a change of environment from that demon.

    1. Poster don't take your sister anywhere 😏. Take care of her from a distance .

  16. This is so sad. This mad is extremely wicked, God will punish him. I will advise that your sister should start taking her medications immediately.

  17. I will share my story one of these days. May God give ur sister the grace to hold on. I hope she did not breastfeed any of the children o. Who knows if that is the reason why she lost one sef. She should go n get all the children tested. Show her love. As for ur parents,leave them to God. All will be well.

  18. Jehovah 😮😮😮😮

  19. This is wickedness, chai....this man wicked ohhh. Poster I'm so sorry for your sister,she just needs help at this point in her life

  20. Oh dear!
    It doesn't just rained, it actually poured!

    Please don't feel bad at all, you tried your best for her by begging her not to marry till after childbirth but she refused.
    Encourage her to adhere strictly to the directives from the doctors.
    Being HIV positive is not a death sentence, she should quit making babies and try to be financially stable.
    I sincerely hope that the kids are not infected, aaaah that he husband is evil oh!


  21. Maybe just maybe if she had just aborted during the 1st trimester and learnt her lessons her life wouldn't have been so hard.
    Sometimes we just have to be realistic with our decisions.
    Only her HIV positive.
    Only her relying on sister for upkeep.
    Only her 3 kids that she can't cater for.
    Only her 😈 husband.
    And there's even a chance that the kids are even infected, only her!

  22. I am still in shock, this is so pathetic.

  23. so sad. what a wicked world

  24. sad is all i can say. If only she listened to your advice i'm sure you're Igbo which average Igbo man will come for your hand in marriage with pregnancy if he doesn't have an agenda May God see you all through i don't like sad stories

    1. Where did the poster state she is Igbo???
      People sef!!!

  25. Really sad story. From one mistake to another. May God help us to take the right decisions at all times and May the spirit of error be from us. Amen!

  26. It's so sad how decisions of people around us affect us positively or negatively. The thing is that we don't know the future thereby making decisions that favour us at a moment without the future in consideration.
    This is very sad and the man is extremely wicked, he took advantage of your sister's vulnerability.
    If you come from a good family, you don't know what God hav done for you. This right here is as a result of bad parents, poor upbringing and lack of love. God help us

  27. Am going to be blunt!
    Your sister should never have listened to you from the beginning and simply should have had an abortion. It’s sad what that decision thanks to you has turned her life to be.
    I had a cousin who was in the same shoes as your sister, she just left secondary school and “fell” pregnant. Her decision to keep it cost her living space at home, am the young man responsible ran away. I sat her down and told her the bitter truth. If you keep it, YOU WILL SUFFER having no skill, money and accommodation with a baby on the way. After one month of pure suffering she had an abortion and life is back to normal. A woman with all that problems alone , an abortion is this best bet. That’s life!!

  28. Committing murder at this time will not just clear the debris your sister is married to but will end your own life and truncate your own plans as well. Don't waste your dreams on an entitled sloth who won't fend for his family but can infect then with disease.

    The important thing now is to drum sense into your sister. Explain to her that she now has to choose whether to live or die and her choices have to reflect in her actions. With medication, HIV isn't a life sentence that is why the waste she married is not yet pushing up roses- if Asarailu can tolerate him among the living, she had no reason to hurry into death- he obviously won't care for her children and you'll have yours.

    Make it clear that at no point will you take in her or the kids. She has to commit to getting and taking her medication. From your write-up, she probably didn't get tested in her earlier pregnancies because she could not afford to give birth in the hospital. She has to TAKE THE KIDS TO GET TESTED AS WELL. HIV testing and treatment are FREE in Nigeria. I will have added iron clad contraception but she has no business itching down there after a HIV positive deadbeat husband and three living kids to feed. Draw out a plan where you step out of the picture financially by the end of the year. It is important you make her stand on her own and up for herself because you are not uncle Sam and cannot afford to pay for her mistakes, indiscretions or misfortune. You have your own needs and future to plan for. Even if you'rea billionaire, you'll equip her to fend for herself if you love her at all. It may seem like you are being kind because people are praising you for subsidizing this situation but the moment you are unable to maintain this welfare program, you'll send in another chronicle about how you want to use a gun on yourself- entitlement brings out the worst in people. Your sister has not felt the need to grow up because you have but fought the urge to play parent. If the support wheels come off, she had a better chance of finding balance.

    Magic Johnson has been positive for decades and doesn't look it. Even the useless husband was looking ok enough before things turned around. If she does what the doctor says, she'll be fine health-wise and if she's ready to employ common sense and let her brain "suck petrol", she'll step out of this rut of self-harm. Our destiny is in our hands.

  29. The deed has already been done. But one thing I'm sure of is that both pre-marital sex and abortion are wrong. Reason is because God frowns against it, and that to me is the ultimate. We must as a generation start frowning against it cos it does not make our heavenly father happy. We may not all be Christians, but then it is even morally wrong. That being said, I believe there is still hope for your sister, I don't wanna sound too religious but it is the only solution I believe will work. The first thing she needs is salvation. She needs Jesus and I believe after that, every other thing will work out. If you are a christian, u can lead her to Christ. Then she needs counselling, being positive is not the end of the world. And if there is anything u can help her with to be financially stable, so as to reduce the pressure on you.

  30. Poster you cannot kill anyone because of your sister that refused to listen to you. All you can do is give your sister more attention, she should always take her medications. If you kill the man will that solve the problems nope.

  31. The kids should go for HIV screening asap.

    I don't understand, fourth child? Does tht mean HIV screening wnt done during all he other pregnancies?!+

  32. Chai. I am so sorry. Poster you're such a good sibling. God will reward you for all the love and care you've shown your sister. Please don't shoot anybody. Allow the devil to carry his wahala and go. Your life is worth more than revenge. Leave the matter to God. HIV is not a death sentence. With good diet and treatment, she can live a healthy life. Please continue to encourage her with the truth. Send her articles on the disease. She still has her life ahead of her. May the Lord be your strength. My prayers are with you.


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