Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Saturday, April 25, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmmmm.....














STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BROKEN ENGAGEMENT WITH SOLID REASONS


I broke up my engagement due to my fiancรฉ.
His mother was already told me, that we would attend Anglican after marriage as none of her children attends anglican but as her last Born wife I and my kids would have to in order to keep her legacy.


Secondly he calls his niece ''my love'' and uses her as screensaver, my pictures only posted on my birthdays.
92% of his salary goes to his married elder sisters ( 3 of them). He's training 2 nieces and  3 nephews in school.
He borrows money from me after donating everything to his 'Family'


I told my parents my reason and they said whatever decision I take no problem.
Now, how do I tell his aged mother we broke up?? He said I should be the one to tell his family.
I left cause I don't want to be a second choice after family, or endure from courtship to marriage. He said since I am employed I should be able to take care of myself for now . what happens when kids come????

I just want to let it out..




*You walked away from a situation that would have swallowed you...Dont tell his mum,when he is ready he will tell her himself abeg!

92 comments:

  1. Too much baggage. Thank God you had the mind to let go. It's not your job to tell his mom anything... He has mouth too

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pls where are you located? I need to mount a statue at your resident. You did the right thing girl . so proud reading this! Way too many red flags.

      Do you care about his aged grand ma more than he does. I know not!

      Leave it , he will It sort out, grandma that is going to faint, will still faint eventually. Abi, you said aged? She will be alright , relax

      Broken engagement is without a second doubt better than a marriage you will endure.

      Delete
    2. Poster, are you me? This exact scenario happened to me 6ears ago. The Anglican ish, the borrowing of money from me, him being broke all the time because of family loyalty, he even reborrowed the bride price from me the same evening he paid my parents in the morning. Then turned to use his mom to blackmail me when I made up my mind to break the engagement because he knew I love her.

      Delete
    3. Poster what did Johnny Walker say 'Keep gini!! Keep walking'. Dont say pimmm to his mum. What did i say? Thank God you dodged the bullet..

      Delete
    4. Wow, Saphire. How did it end, if you don't sharing?

      Delete
    5. Poster,if he cannot tell his mother let him leave it. Wetin concern you there? Imagine all the baggage even before marriage, I can't abeg!

      Delete
    6. Good you made the right decision because I don't see this ish ending after marriage.
      He will continue to carry their burden.

      Delete
    7. Sapphire maybe you met the same guy 6 years earlier than the poster.

      I've never known parents i' Anglican to insist on their church as choice. It's the Roman Catholics that I've experienced theirs.

      Delete
  2. Don't even look back.
    Breaking the news is not your job, keep moving.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. He should talk to his parents just like you did yours.

      Delete
    2. Gbam. He has mouth. Let him give them the news.

      Delete
    3. I raise my hands,legs,head to you.
      This is a one chance fiance.
      Thank God you walked.
      Imagine you being controlled by his ever demanding family and on top of that,you will bear everything finances in the home and still the family will think that their brother is doing too much without knowing you are the one taking care of yourself and the children.
      I Stan you jare.

      Delete
  3. Thank God you left, you would have written chronicles like the poster of yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very Brave of her ,
      I'm hoping anyone in a similar situation would find the strengthto bounce.

      Delete
    2. Poster, it's like you're still very much interested in that mess you were about to get yourself into. Because if you weren't, you wouldn't be asking us how you would tell his mum. As a matter of fact, wadaheck! Was he the one who told your parents? You shouldn't care less if her son sends it as a letter bomb...

      Delete
  4. Why are you bothered about telling his mum?when he came to ask you out did he bring his mum along?
    No issue here when he is ready he will tell his mom...face your front

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Help me ask her o๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
      What kind of silly blackmail is that?
      Dear poster, kindly keep it moving, they are looking for who will pay their childrens school fees in the future.

      Delete
  5. Let him gan tell his mother himself. Nothing concern you for that one. This one will be like the husband of yesterday's chronicle poster. You will take care of 90% of your home expenses while he spends his on others and himself.

    No one said a husband shouldn't help out his family but not to ur own detriment as well as to the detriment of your spouse.

    You really dodged a bullet here.

    Don't let him manipulate you. Tell him to go and tell his mum by himself

    ReplyDelete
  6. What you can't cope with in marriage, it's better to walk away from it during courtship.

    Don't tell him mum anything, when he's ready to man up, let him do the talking. It's not your business anymore. I wish you well.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank God you left early enough.

    ReplyDelete
  8. What you can't cope with in marriage, it's better to walk away from it during courtship.

    Don't tell his mum anything, when he's ready to man up, let him do the talking. It's not your business anymore. I wish you well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A round of applause for your boldness jare, poster. As pertelling his mum, it's his call not urs, he shld deal with it when he's ready.
      Imagine nonsense, he wants to temain tied to his family and drag you into submitting to his family's demands while u figure how you will be fine on ur own. Issokay, he never teady to marry

      Delete
  9. What is your business with telling his mum!!! Face your family and let him face his abeg. Don't go back to that relationship, it will consume you completely.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dude is obviously an abuser ; he'd have so abused you emotionally you'd comfortably become the bread winner and see it as a norm.

    Imagine him guilt tripping you into telling his mom yourself.

    Good a thing you walked away and refused to be a sacrificial lamb.

    He obviously learnt that from his mom. Inukwa since you're the las son's wife, you'll be mandated to attend the Anglican church.

    What happened to her other daughters-in-law?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wow,broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. Hes a lot of baggage. Well,when he marries because he will one day get married and responsibilities come,I hope he'll be able to face his family and not blame the wife later on. But those sisters are selfish and they Wil even be happy he broke his engagement. I hope his eyes will be opened before its too late

    ReplyDelete
  12. 92%...that's very precise.

    ReplyDelete
  13. why Are u reporting urself to his mum,u have broken up with him and he is telling u to go tell his mum,is there something else u didn’t write here.its like u are stil intrested if not,u will leave him to figure his life out and how he tells his Mum will be none of ur business.

    ReplyDelete
  14. It's a good thing you left the situationship. Why can't he tell Hus mum himself? The guy has no bearing and it will only get worse. Read yesterday's chronicle and learn from it. I congratulate you once more for taking your brain along and dumping his sorry ass

    ReplyDelete
  15. Poster, congratulations on making a decision that most women will not be able to do. You are strong, and have a clear direction of where your life should go. Proud of you!! May God provide another man who will put you and your family first.

    Side note: it is over! Not your responsibility to inform his family! Not your business. Move on

    ReplyDelete
  16. You made the right decision

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are still contemplating how to tell his family? You never ready. You have told your family, he should handle his family. Wait if you refuse nko? You are patient sha.

    ReplyDelete
  18. You took the right decision. I also broke off an engagement after introduction had been done because of some signs I saw...I knew I would be. a bitter person. Your 92% made me laugh though..do you calculate the exact figure from his salary??

    ReplyDelete
  19. My sister, thank God you walked away o. Im in a situation like that where his be ice can insult me to my face and he won't do anything, if I complain he'll tell me that she's his family and I should bear it. No woman should ever be a second choice in her own home.

    ReplyDelete
  20. "Now, how do I tell his aged mother we broke up?? He said I should be the one to tell his family."๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    what's your own? when he sees you guys are truly broken up noone will tell him to tell his mum. My dear thank God for your wise decision o, many have entered situationships like this and came back with hbp and other health issues. Your own man will come, keep believing, keep praying. Stay safe hun๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ

    ReplyDelete
  21. What did your man say about his mums decision concerning the church you'd attend after marriage?
    What is wrong in calling his niece "my love" and using her picture as his screen saver? Na wa.
    I don't agree with him spending 92% of his income on his nieces and nephews...how did you arrive at that figure?
    When it comes to issues like this, about training siblings kids, I've little to say. You don't know how they all struggled to be where they are today.
    You don't know if his sisters gave up alot for him and now he wants to do something for them.
    It's not bad to lend a hand to a sibling who is not doing well.
    You left cos you don't want to be second choice after family? Okay!!
    What's wrong in taking care of yourself for now?
    He has not married you, look at the way you are acting.
    Are you his owner? You want it to be all about you, that's selfish.
    It's better you go your separate ways before you turn him against his family.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please madam be reasonable, not everything is fairy tale from your end.
      A man is spending 92% of his salary on his sisters,nieces and nephews.
      What you ladies would never accept is what you bring here
      I'm saying it to you,you can never stay with a man who spend 92% of his salary on his family.
      Let's be realistic for once and stop talking about things that are not factual.

      Delete
    2. "What is wrong in calling his niece "my love" and using her picture as his screen saver?" A LOT O, especially with the disgusting tales of incest around. What kind of man who's about to get married would be using niece as screensaver? Abeg o, things are happening.

      Poster, leave Slutty Chic o. She herself cannot take all these things she's condemning you for. No be her comments i dey see often

      Delete
    3. Na still same you go come here yarn dust say didn't you see the sign before marrying him.
      Look at what you are saying she should take care of herself and she is selfish and to think you are Lady oooo.
      The lady saw the signs now she pulled out and you are still calling her selfish.

      Delete
    4. Slutty Chic, you don't see anything wrong with him being responsible for three married sisters and their children? THREE!!! All of them at the same time. So he's carrying the responsibility of six adults (married sisters and their husbands).

      Haba, you sef fear God when you dey give advice.

      Delete
    5. Slutty, I love oh, heaven knows I do, but this your advice today nor follow at, this your independent attitude and I'm better than my mate who depends on men attitude, was what got yesterday's poster into the mess she found herself. please you can do better.

      As for calling her neice my love there is everything wrong with it, I dated a guy 8years ago who calls his 16 years old neice, my love, my sweetheart,etc, and I was so cool with it, because I love togetherness in a family, this girl started showing me so much disrespect whenever I go to their family house, my Ex will always tell me to ignore her that she is just a child,Which I did, like this poster both our pic was his screensaver, he did a picmix of it, I still didn't see it as anything until sister niece became pregnant and pointed my Ex as the father of the baby after much touture from family they both confess to have been sleeping with each other for long.

      Delete
    6. Slutty, I love oh, heaven knows I do, but this your advice today nor follow at, this your independent attitude and I'm better than my mate who depends on men attitude, was what got yesterday's poster into the mess she found herself. please you can do better.

      As for calling her neice my love there is everything wrong with it, I dated a guy 8years ago who calls his 16 years old neice, my love, my sweetheart,etc, and I was so cool with it, because I love togetherness in a family, this girl started showing me so much disrespect whenever I go to their family house, my Ex will always tell me to ignore her that she is just a child,Which I did, like this poster both our pic was his screensaver, he did a picmix of it, I still didn't see it as anything until sister niece became pregnant and pointed my Ex as the father of the baby after much touture from family they both confess to have been sleeping with each other for long.

      Delete
    7. oh all hail mother Theresa of SDK!!!
      So madam since you have all this vice and virtue to manage with any kind of Man, as the most understanding woman of our time! how come you are still single nau?

      Delete
    8. Seriously Slutty,Let me not see your comment asking an poster. Didn't you see the signs before marriage???
      Some one that is borrowing money from her early this morning
      pls pack well Nne.

      Delete
    9. What type of questions are you asking slutty? Why can't she take care of herself for now while he spends outside?? Do you know what you are saying at all? I doubt. Come back and ask these questions when you get married, once its like a joke to you now. Nobody said don't spend for your family,but how do you take care of another persons home and neglect yours??
      She has missed her Mr right,we agree!!. Let her go for Mr left now

      Delete
    10. If you don't like my comment, keep it moving.
      The field is wide enough for all of us to play.
      Oh wow, sorry about that snow. Guess I viewed it wrong but my thoughts are founded on a clean heart.

      Sluttychic.

      Delete
    11. Nawa oh slutty chic!!! I don't even know what to say. Anyways I'm not surprised.

      Delete
    12. @Sluttychic, my friend is in this same fix. She caters for her children and upkeep alone while her husband is catering for his elder brother's and two elder sisters' families. He built houses for all 3 but lives as a tenant. He feels he is doing the right thing but the wife is buckling under the weight of her burden.

      Delete
    13. Slutty, this one no follow abeg!!! For her to say 92%, it means a major part of how salary!!

      How can she see these signs and still continue?? Everyone has standards and she did the right thing by moving on!!

      Delete
  22. you did well, else you would have ended up like yesterday chronicle poster!

    ReplyDelete
  23. You made the best decision. Good riddance!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. That's the beauty of courtship. You are able to find out about the other person's
    affinities and vanities and evaluate the ones you can stomach.
    A lot of ladies allow themselves to be stringed along in fornication and so becloud
    their judgments.
    I like your parent's attitude -they are confident in the characters and values they have
    instilled in you.
    Your ex-fiance simply showed the signs that he wasn't ready to leave his father and mother
    and indeed his family members to cleave to his "wife".
    Hopefully, he will grow up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I pity the next chick that will come along. Dude will hide this part till marriage. It'll be worst if the lady is forming Miss Independent

      Delete
  25. Imagine him asking you to tell his mother like he does not have mouth. Don't listen to him,he's trying to make you feel bad. It's problem and not yours. If he won't tell them by himself, don't bother yourself. Are you even sure he ever loved you?.

    ReplyDelete
  26. His mum will blackmail you emotionally to marry his son. Please run and never look back. The hand writting is boldly on the wall and don't listen to anybody that says he wi change when you get married, lies.

    Not your job to tell any member of his family. Move on already.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Abeg keep looking front and moving.
    If he likes he shouldnt tell her, thats his business, if she likes she should be planning wedding and buying aseobi, e no concern you.
    Youve taken a bold step dear, its not easy, but u wouldnt have been happy in that marriage, you for be like housemaid sef

    ReplyDelete
  28. Maa WO babe yi, u just dodged a bullet and a lifetime of regret. E- hug to you.
    Why should you be the one telling his mum, radarada who does that.
    I know moving on won't be easy but u can do it, God will give you the best of men with no nonsense baggage like the one God just saved you from

    ReplyDelete
  29. You would have been in deep shit .Dont look back nne.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Stella just spoke my mind!! Shebi na him mama? When he is ready he will tell her. She too is a wicked woman. She sees how her son is and she’s encouraging a him to get a wife to suffer. In fact let him kuku marry that his niece!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. You are brave! You took a bold step. Let him tell his mum himself

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thank God you had the courage to leave.
    Don't mind him. When he is ready he would inform his mum and family himself.
    When they call you, you don't need too much talk or explanation. You have made up your mind.

    ReplyDelete
  33. If he doesn't wanna tell his mom , that's his business not yours.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Madam, mama join the plan to use you for financial gains. You better stay on your own. It is not your job to tell his mum.

    ReplyDelete
  35. From the first date, if from our discussion, i notice the man is responsible for his family's finances especially when the siblings are adults, i don't go further. Shikena. God forbid after carrying my own share of responsibilites in my family, i carry another full grown healthy adult's own.

    How can he be responsible for THREE married sisters along with their children to the extent he gives 90% of his salary to them? Do they not have husbands? Are they not adults? HABA!!!!

    How would he provide for his wife and his children?!!!

    Not to talk of the mother dictating the church they should worship after marriage. What nonsense!!!! So the sisters who married are free to attend another church but mama will dictate where daughter-in-law must worship. Hypocrisy!

    Poster, RUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

    Some women would see all these signs and still enter. I pity una

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can imagine someone calling her selfish up there.

      Delete
  36. Before you enter marriage, make sure the situation you met is what you can live with. Same goes for both men and women.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster I love you tooooo Much .God bless you .You saved yourself stress.the idiot is not ready to be a man .He should keep Training the whole world when he's done he should them decide to marry .The elder sister is she lame or crippled?So she can't work to feed her family and then let your husband support when he can .That family is a troublesome one you just dodged a bullet .Do not bother telling the mother ...Move on baby .I love your guts

    ReplyDelete
  38. Poster I love you tooooo Much .God bless you .You saved yourself stress.the idiot is not ready to be a man .He should keep Training the whole world when he's done he should them decide to marry .The elder sister is she lame or crippled?So she can't work to feed her family and then let your husband support when he can .That family is a troublesome one you just dodged a bullet .Do not bother telling the mother ...Move on baby .I love your guts

    ReplyDelete
  39. Poster Run,is your fiancee assistant Jesus?? I am not against him helping his married siblings or cousins but those once no marry well?? His mother too want to dictate where you worship,abeg my sister God would give u a better man with no stress or baggages.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I can’t praise you enough poster for using your head. If women use their head more all these wicked men would have sat up by now. This is the benefit of reading chronicles to learn from it. Well done poster ๐Ÿ‘

    ReplyDelete
  41. Dear Poster,sorry to hear this, but this your story sounds familiar..this Fiance you are talking about,goes Bayo by name?last born of his mother?who is in her 70s?
    From ijebu igbo? Lives in Ireland?cork city?IT specialist?If it is,congratulations to you, because you for enter once chance
    He takes practically all the responsibilitys of his family+.
    Well, you dnt have to feel bad,because its obvious the relationship wasnt meant to be trust me,that guy is not your husband oo, for your best sanity in the future..no looking back..you don't need to tell his mother or any memberz of his family..am sure his sisters are happy because they want their brother to keep takin on their responsibilities, as they have tied his marital destiny down so he doesn't get married for their own selfish reasons
    You better look forward and find your own husband
    Broken relationship is better than broken marriage oo.
    Good Luck anyways.
    If you need my assistance, drop your digits under my comments and i ll get in touch with you.
    Ire o

    ReplyDelete
  42. And let me add this why should it be you that will break the news to his mum & family members??Since he does not want a wife let him look for housemaid that he can turn to doormat for his mum.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Sisterly RUNNNNNN don't looked back, if you go to see his mum you're done for, manipulate you before you know it we'll be reading another chronicle, did you even read yesterday's chronicle? Don't start what you cannot finish.

    ReplyDelete
  44. That he doesnt post your picture only on birthdays already tells me your kind of person. If I was him I would run far away, Life is for the living not for social media.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Awon feminist gang gang25 April 2020 at 17:18

    You will be foolish to go and tell his mother in a bf/gf relationship, that's a troublesome family that will always support the man even when he does wrong and the financial load will be on your head, better to walk away now than walk into a court room.

    ReplyDelete
  46. God will give you another better man. All these childish boys claiming to settle down when they are not fully matured mentally. I pity that niece... My love ke... Na so e dey start

    ReplyDelete
  47. Please run my dear. FLEE as if Coronavirus wants to embrace you.

    Let the back of you feet salute the back of your neck with much respect.

    Don't stop running till you get to the border separating Kenya and Mogadishu.

    I say keep running. Animals in human skin, awon destiny destroyers.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Is he mad to tell you that you are the one to tell his family, when be introduced you to his family as his wife to be who told his family you or him?

    My friend will you unfollow him on all social media, block his line and never give him any listening ears. When he is ready he will inform his family that you both have gone your separate ways.

    If you Marry that guy you are in hot soup, his mother will detect how he should treat you with the kids plus all his money will be spend on his sister's while your money will be spend on you, him and your kids. Allow him to go and marry his sisters.

    Poster I don't seen anything wrong if he calls his niece my love or use her as his screensaver. I use my nice, nephew and sisters as my screensaver, DP and I call them darling, love, sugar, baby, boo. The only time you should be worried is if they are both running some packages but if not no need.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Great decision! No time for pulling along thinking all will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  50. This is the first time I am commenting on a chronicle. In as much as the lady has made her decision, I just want to make a few points from a man's point of view.
    1. Marriages in Africa are family oriented. Many marriages are failing today due to family interference and lack of knowledge from spouses to manage family interference. The guy is still not mature to get married. But there's room for growth. He might change with time with support from a loving and understanding partner. Maybe the poster too can't manage African family politics in marriage.
    2. Supporting family with money takes a huge chunk of my monthly income that sometimes my wife complains. But she understands and supports me because her family also benefits. I went through university through support of family members and this is my turn to give back. It's only for some time till I get others to support me. In Africa we grow by supporting each other. An understanding and supportive wife should know this and bear with the husband. I am not saying the husband should abandon his immediate family.
    3. A lot of time people's advise in this blog is always biased. If she knows before now why lead the guy into commiting himself and now he wants him to go back and break his mother's heart. Maybe she has a special relationship with the guy's mother that why he asked her to tell his mother. I don't think it's too much to ask na. A broken engagement doesn't mean she can't help the guy in the healing process.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God Bless you richly for points 1 and 2 above.

      Most women know what you are saying in your point 2 because they pass through same process of family support and financing but they do not want to hear it is done by their husbands.

      There are sisters who lost good husbands or who could not marry at the time they desired because they were training their younger brothers and sisters. When such women marry "how for do" later, their wives expect the brothers they train to abandon them.

      Please note the Poster did not say that the man does not repay borrowed money or that he swore he would continue financing his nephews and nieces 92% after marriage.

      Nevertheless, it is good that the Poster called off the relationship because she would have monitored the man's finance beyond 100% transparency during marriage, and few sincere men can tolerate such scrutiny.

      Delete
  51. When they say you dodged a bullet,I laugh in WUHAN,MAMI YOU DODGED A FRICKING LANDMINE!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Congratulations on dodging a very big missile

    ReplyDelete
  53. How old is this niece? For those supporting him using the niece's pic as a screensaver, it's acceptable only if she's a baby. But you know in these days of child molestation, everything is suspect. Poster you've read BVs advice. Walk away and don't look back. Else you will end up salty when they are done with you.

    ReplyDelete
  54. If he can't inform his mum that is his business.Anytime she calls and ask ..u let her know..Don't even know why and how u ladies handles all these shits from so called Fiance. What even made accept the ring?
    A man who doesn't know his left from right?Takes cares of 3 married sisters and 5 nieces n nephews, (92%) income gone.What about the men who married them ,ain't they responsible for those kids welfare?Why can't their husbands take care of them?Why I don't even advise showing a man u've got money.He even informed u earlier that you will handle all your expenses .Tomorrow after marriage,countless Chronicles follows..U keep up borrowing him money now as the facilitator that you are abi?..Mtschew.

    ReplyDelete

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