Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Sunday, April 26, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Alert...So long a chronicle.........









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HEARTBROKEN THREE TIMES BY THREE STINGY MEN

Dear Stella,


Please keep me anonymous. Thank you for the job you are doing, you don’t know how much your blog does for me, I feel relieved going through your chronicles and laughing at the comments sometimes. Well done. Now to my story. I am going to take you all down memory lane on three of the men I have encountered in my life and dated. Please be patient as this is going to be long.



I am a young accountant who resides in Abuja, as for my love life, looking back from when I started dating, I haven’t really had a good relationship. Even the ones I thought were good, looking back now I am filled with confusion and regrets on what I settled for. 



I have this one ex that has been on my case since 2013 during my final year in school, I loved him then, I used to visit him in his house in Lagos, because I schooled in Lagos, then whenever I visit, he helps with the chores, followed me to market, helped in cooking etc. Nice man, he calls me many times a day and tells me how much he loves me always. But the problem is this, he will never give you one naira.



 Wait!

 before bvs crucify me, I am not materialistic or asking for too much, he was a businessman then, and claimed to be struggling in his business, but what baffles me is how one who claims to love a woman can never spend a dime or even gift her at least one bathroom slippers? He sends me pictures of designers shoes then telling me I should make my choice, but never for once has he bought me a simple dress or pant. The one that broke me was when he came to camp in Abuja to visit me with bare hands, this man literally came with nothing, I saw my mates returning to their hostels with gifts from their men, while all he did was bring out handkerchief to wipe my face, I asked him why?? Why do this? If I were your sister wouldn’t u come with something at least? Not even a loaf of bread? 



He claimed he has issues with his atm card.

 I shook my head cos he always has stories to tell. This is someone I have gone through his phone atimes and seen him sending money to his mum and siblings. On one occasion I visited him and while he was seeing me off at the park, I literally dragged 2k with him out of his wallet before he let go. He owns a shop, has his own business, I have told him severally that even men who were apprentices still find a way to make their women happy in their own little way, talk more of him that has a business of his own but he always claims he would build me mansions when he becomes a millionaire.



 I remember the first Time I visited him he gifted me a book on how to be an obedient wife, that was all he has ever bought for me in life, till today he still calls me and claims he loves me but I have been told that a man who has never spent a penny on your head and only offers love poems and poetry, I shouldn’t expect anything less than he is already doing when he marries you cos it would Only be worse, and then people will ask you if you didn’t know before he was stingy before settling with him? I have also been advised to discard stories like ‘some men don’t like to spend on their girlfriends till they marry them’ as that is false and a true man who is in love won’t do that, in as much as you aren’t siphoning all he has or being too demanding and materialistic which I know I am not.


I broke up with him many times, blocked, unblocked and now we are just friends as he claims even tho I know he keeps calling to say he will marry me.


On to the second man I want to discuss, In my quest to meet the right one God has made for me, I started seeing someone else who was introduced to me by a friend’s husband. I Was already tired of our phone conversations and thought that he was very dedicated to the relationship making out time to call me every time he had the chance.


 We became friends and bonded even without meeting each other cos of the long hours we spent on phone. He asked me to visit but I turned him down twice, I even asked him that if I was his sister, would he advise that she goes visit a man who she hasn’t met for the first time? His answer was no. But the third time when he pleaded that he has no leave from business unlike me who can take work leave, plus I got tired of the whole phone relationship, that’s including video calls. I decided to go visit him. I took the risk to go visit him from Abuja to Port harCourt, since he claimed business won’t let him.


 I remember ignoring my friend’s taunting who kept telling me to ask him for flight money and I shouldn’t reduce myself, according to her that if I start like this with him he would never see the need to treat me higher as he believes I can settle for anything but such men to my surprise will go all out for other women who didn’t settle or reduce their standards. I responded that I can’t do that to him or request for flight ticket as it’s road transportation we discussed. Besides I don’t know his budget and this is only our first meeting. Although this man wasn’t my spec when we met, like I was literally disappointed, shorter than I expected, uneven skin, rough looking. I ignored all that and I tried to be nice. 



I remembered the good times we shared the past months we met and how I have enjoyed his companionship, I convinced myself that it wasn’t all about looks and if he is a good man that’s all that matters. Let me not talk about how he left me for an hour at the park before he came to pick me, he said it’s cos he didn’t want to carry me to his family house so he had to go drop his sister first at their family house before coming to pick me so we can head to his own house. 


During my short stay, I related well with him when we met, I even cooked for him, but didn’t sleep with him because it’s our first meeting that is not to say that we didn’t share other intimate moments, I have already grown to love this man I was very open and being myself with him. I remember telling him during our conversations one night on getting to know each other better that I don’t love to pester men for money but I assume that as a man, one shouldn’t capitalise on that and pretend like they don’t know how to care for their woman.



 I told him I also reciprocate when shown love. He now asked me that what if I find out my man is stingy, what will I do? Loool. I didn’t expect that question but only laughed it off. I returned to my base in Abuja without anything from him. Even few of my friends asked that didn’t he give me any gift at least for making the sacrifice and risking the long road transportation to come visit? In their words ‘no thanks for coming?’ They asked? I laughed and said no ooo! Na so we see am o, just taking me out and buying me enough food and one retorted that what is food if not a normal need that anybody can do for a friend, I still didn’t complain but took it that everyone is different or he is probably testing me.


 I am a strong willed person like that and not easily influenced by what my friends think. Loool. They were even shocked at the amount he sent for my transport fare, the exact amount it cost for the transport. Our relationship continued after I returned and altho he kept in touch as usual, an issue came up when I noticed he spoilt my phone when we were together. He hit my hand mistakenly when we were about going out and It fell to the floor but my screen was okay, unknowingly I got back to my base and noticed my phone became faulty and was told it’s cos of the fall it had earlier. I didn’t call him to complain Immediately but repaired the phone myself, few days later, i opened up to him to tell him that the incident that happened when I was with him actually led to a fault in my phone and I was billed 25k cos it’s an Apple phone.


 Oga started stammering that why didn’t I tell him before repairing the phone? That he would tell me if he has the money or not bla bla. That was it and attitude started. He ignored me for about 3 days. Later on when we reconciled he claimed I should always inform him first before taking such actions. I was thinking he would send a refund to my account. The matter died there. I couldn’t help but to ask myself if there was anything I am doing wrong in life? I am content with what I have, yet I don’t meet men who appreciate and show me love, I didn’t call immediately to ask him for money to repair my phone cos I thought that would be seen as money conscious, I thought as a man who I am dating, I can tell him later of the predicament and he would understand and refund. Yet he never did. 


Remember I have never asked him for anything before since we started dating. To cut long story short. I told him sometime that I am having difficulty in getting fabric for a good friend’s wedding which I need to attend, oga answered me ‘what do you want me to do now?’ That was when it dawned on me that I have had enough. That led to a fight and the next morning when I called him he said I shouldn’t disturb him. I deleted him from all social media and moved on. I don’t want to talk about the lies he leveled on my head when we broke up. My friend came to inform me of all he told her husband about me. I was pushed to almost talk, to let this pain all out and tell her all that went wrong but I kept it to myself. I didn’t want to make myself a story to be tossed around between two male friends.


 It was so painful but I told my friend to tell her husband that we had irreconcilable differences. That’s all. I moved on with my life. I was later told by my friend whom her husband introduced us that he was getting married almost 3 months later after our break up. I didn’t know how it happened, if he met the girl almost immediately or dating both of us at the same time, I don’t know. If he was dating us same time then he must be a genius cos this is one that I was always on the phone with although we lived far from each other, we were always in communication and video calls, I knew his every move and he calls to update me always. Well I wished him well on getting the news.


The third man was introduced to me by another friend, yes. Another introduction you might say but such is life. I try to hang out when I can, that’s if I am not working or in church, the few men that have approached me aren’t those I want to settle with or I feel connected to. So apart from my tight work schedule, I am either out in church or an occasion if I am invited to one. I recall telling this my friend that I am tired. I am tired of all these link ups and I am not ready. She convinced me that this man is a good man and they went to same school that he is very mature.



 More so a Catholic which she knows is what I like. Well from the guys pics alone I wasn’t impressed but told myself the usual, that good behavior and finding a God fearing man is what matters. From the moment this one got my number he started off the conversation with speed, always available on WhatsApp, calling me sweet names, even told my friend who linked us up that I am an angel. Started pressuring to see me as he resides in Abuja as well. He told me of how he attends morning mass every day and his tight work schedule plus He’s a secretary in his society in church. Lool. Well I thought that maybe this is the one God wants as he is a good Christian and even a Catholic like me. 



When we talk on phone I noticed he sounds a bit authoritative but I shoved it aside. He is much older than me but that isn’t an issue cos I like older men. Well during our first date while he dropped me off at my house, he held my hand and told me he would love to visit my mum during Xmas to tell her his Intentions if only I agree. That he loves me and this short while we have met and discussed, he can feel I am a good woman And he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I was overwhelmed at this official asking out. I told him altho this is happening so fast that let’s see how it goes. 



We were very free during the first date and it felt like we have known for ages. I told myself that this could be the one. I noticed that after that first date, the rate he messages me and keeps in touch dropped drastically unlike before. I started giving him some cold vibes. Now when I think of it I start to blame myself that maybe I was too fast or so I thought after all isn't this one who talked about spending the rest of his life with me? Considering his age I thought he meant every bit of what he said. The next date he scheduled, he didn’t ask to come pick me up from my house as he did on the first date, but asked where we could meet? Well I kind of stayed on my own. He stopped communicating. My friend who linked us up got in touch and I told her what I observed. 



She said it’s too early and I shouldn’t expect much or over think things. That he is a very busy man as he runs his own law firm in Abuja here. Well she got back to the guy who told her that I am always over reacting and he doesn’t know what to say to me atimes. Well after my friend stepped in we reconciled and started talking again. But I wasn’t free with him. Most times the way he talks makes me uncomfortable. He would send me a long article on WhatsApp and if I ask him what it’s about he calls to tell me that he expects more from me as a Learned person and he had already sent same article to few of his learned friends who read it immediately and got back to him on their opinions without questions. Lol. 


It felt like a jab on my esteem and personality. I even promised to take him out for his birthday on my own little token, I mentioned few places we could hang out in Abuja here close to his office and he made fun of me saying that so I want to take him to the same restaurant my small boyfriends take me to. That he goes to high profile places, Chinese restaurant, Transcorp Hilton and co. Well I kind of shoved that aside and was still trying to get to know this man.


 On one occasion I spent the night in his house and we made out. Subsequently his attitude worsened, never calls at night but only in the mornings claiming he is busy. On one ocassion he asked we should see but unfortunately that day after work I was so tired and to make matters worse my boss informed us to be at work the next day which was a Saturday. Altho I promised to come over that Friday, I got back to him to cancel the meeting as a result of tiredness, he pleaded with me but I explained that I can’t come over that night as I am very weak and my boss has slated work for Tommorow being Saturday, he was so desperate, he promised to drop me off at work the next day but I refused. 



I was sad in my mind and I kept asking myself, what kind of man is this? Throughout the day, u never reached out to me, at least to ask how work is doing? Now On telling u I can’t make it to your house tonight as promised, u are begging like u have missed me the whole day and your life depends on it. After I insisted that I wasn’t coming, he was like it’s okay and I should rest. The next day after work I had in mind to call him to come and see him but the moment he picked my call he started by accusing me that I have abandoned him bla bla and I jokingly told oga that he is the one who doesn’t check up on me. Unknown to him I was actually calling to ask if he was at home so I could start coming but oga’s tone changed And I sensed the anger in his voice. 



I tried to calm him down that please I was only joking and not being serious but shockingly, he just politely told me to hang up please that he would call me later. That was the last I heard from him. I waited to know if he would call me one day but I never heard from him, just like my ex whom I blocked off after he didn’t reach out. Now I am seeing him telling people on Facebook when they ask him when he is going to settle down that he is going to call them soon as he already has someone in mind.



Dear Stella and my fellow BVS, I am 30 years, going to 31 this year. I have a job in Abuja, paying my own rent, Helping to take care of my siblings. I am not saying I am a perfect human but I try my best. When I go out I get compliments, fine girl, nwanyi ocha, oyibo!, etc. atimes those compliments piss me off! 



I ask myself if I am this fine why haven’t I been able to secure a man that loves me and values me? Why do men come into my life and work out without looking back? 


I see some desperate girls who bill their men to stupor yet they are appreciated and called wife materials. I try to be good I don’t ask for much, I am not saying I am perfect please but what worse sin or attitude do I have that is worse than any other woman in this world? The ones u think are greedy and money Hungry are being appreciated and shown love. 


They are proposed to and married by their men. Is there something I am not doing right? I always try to be nice and make sacrifices yet it seems I get men who don’t want to show any form of care or willingness to date me. What breaks my heart is the way these men move on without looking back like what we shared was nothing.


 Now I am left with my one and only first stingy man I discussed earlier whom I have known since 2013, he keeps calling to reassure me of his love and that aren’t getting younger that he wants to marry me. He claims he has changed but I haven’t seen any changes or him trying to show it. 


Atimes I ask God does this mean this is whom u want me to marry? 


Dear BVS please is something wrong?


 The way I see people getting married up and down while I can’t even hold down a meaningful relationship baffles me. I know many would ask the essence of this chronicle, now this is my question. Please BVS, from these 3 men I have encountered tell me what my fault is and what I haven’t done right.

What steps should I take from now on? Atimes loneliness wants to kill me in my house, I see young couples in church everyday and can only hope and wonder when I would have my own family and hold my own kids, I love kids a whole lot. I have been praying to for the right man. Please no insults I beg of you. Thank you for reading. Love you all. 



*Hmmm have you not noticed that all three men have the same behaviour?the problem might be that you unconsciously allow men with the same trait into your life,maybe to prove to yourself that you dont need a man for his money....
Your chronicle shows that you act like miss goody two shoes that doesnt want to bill her man while you secretly yearn for just that....
I dont know if got this right but you are the problem.....

Relax and go to places where you can meet new people since being introduced three times didnt work out....

128 comments:

  1. I had to scroll all the way down to see if it was reuben abatiπŸ™ˆ


    please nobody should attack me oo, am not feeling fine😊

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol wicked

      Delete
    2. You are too needy. Find self love and act like you dont give a toss. The last.dude obviously just wants a shag mate. Even if you have sex with a man, dont text him ever but if he texts you. Reply with 1 hour in between. He will be fascinated by the attitude and want more. The more needy you are, the more the guys are pushed away. This is the rule. Stick to that. Keep trying, you will hit jackpot at a point. Dont get tired, strenghten your heart, if they mess up. Dont block them but delete their number and move on. Gotta be tough honey, the men dont care, otherwise they wont move on so quick. Be like them amd you will be fine. Get a hobby and soak yourself in it. Tired of writing biko

      Delete
    3. Stella she is NOT d problem! Shes only meeting d wrong men!

      How can u sau dat a mans stinginess is bcos of d woman he is with?

      Poster pls continue being yourselves, relax a bit, dnt be too independent, always ask ur man. That is y he is there.
      Pray. Be connected to ur God
      Then overall pls dnt be desperate to get married. Everyone has their own time.an aunty of mine got married wen she was 39 n had twins boy n girl n following year.
      Pls dnt be desperate so u dnt marry d wrong person.

      Delete
    4. If you like, don't stop pretending and be yourself. You can't pretend to be miss independent when you are truly not. Be you! You seem to have this notion that you shouldn't ask your boyfriend for anything so he doesn't think you are a gold digger. Be there deceiving yourself. Na your type go claim "he used and dumped me" because while the man asks for what he wants, you are busy pretending. If you wanted more money than your fare to PH, ask for it! If he says no, you know he said no and take a decision. Don't assume that he should know better after telling him you don't ask men for money. You also seem to settle. 30 is not a curse. Live your best life and go to places where the kind of men you like go. Enrol in a gym in a cool area, go to nice restaurants etc. Don't spend all her time at work, home, and church and then lament that "desperate girls are getting married to wealthy men everyday. If you are not desperate, what are you?

      Delete
    5. Yes, you are doing everything wrong. I’ll try to explain:

      1. You commit to quickly into the term “relationship” with these men. you should Observe them first during the first few months, which is the talking stage before relationship level.

      2. You do not meet men at their homes and vice versa on that first date, second, third, fourth .. he should put in effort to take you out and get to know you. - keyword effort!

      3. Most people will disagree, I believe, you should hold off on been intimate with a guy you have only just met, no matter how deep the chemistry is. Not even kiss. Keep your standard high.

      And when you become intimate after he has proved himself worthy, you should remember that a man who isn’t spending or taking care of your needs has no business getting sex!!

      4. You act too independent . Planning birthdays, offering to visit them for free, mentioning to any man you don’t need their help, Mentioning you fixed your phone & then hoping on a refund. /- you should be a lady in distress!! Even if you got it like that , men see these things & that way you can also weed off people who are only there to benefit from whatever you have.

      5. You expect so much from the jump, these men owe you nothing if they aren’t investing in you. Get busy!

      6. You are spending so much time offline line with them . you need to reduce phone coversatiom to the bare minimum. If you talk about everything on the phone, what is left to be discussed when you meet up, nothing! That’s why you are so quick to be intimate.

      7. A man who tells you on first meet that he wants to marry you & call you all these names . Is a narcissist (please read up on that) / it’s nothing to be excited about , pay no attention to all that & continue to observe his actions.

      8. You are putting a timeline on yourself, where you mentioned how old you are. Relax! Increase your standard, know your value, identity your deal breakers & boundaries and stick to it. All the best!

      Delete
  2. when you notice that people around you are stingy especially those men, is bcos you expect alot from people and you dont give. for christ sake nobody owes you anything and you owe no one nothing. why must it be just women who complain about stingy men,Time has gone when you expect the man to keep on giving and giving and giving.Expect nothing from no one until at least in marriage and you wont be disappointed when they dont give...

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    Replies
    1. I'm πŸ’―% with you on this. If you don't expect too much, you won't be disappointed.
      And I didn't even read anywhere where she give any of these guys a gift.

      Delete
    2. na dem!!! Did we read the same chronicle?? or you choose to ignore the part where of the idiot told her he's not going to the restaurant where her small boyfriends takes her to

      Delete
    3. Like I always say, be the change you want to see in the world.
      If they didn't give you gift, give them. Change their orientation bout life.

      Delete
    4. Poster God bless you for this chronicle! You wrote what I would have written to stella. I keep meeting this kind of men too. Stingy and yeye men till now am 29. Though I have sent a Chronicle here but am here to read advise

      Delete
    5. You have very low esteem and it shows. You deserve to be treated like a jewel by someone who knows your worth. Why on earth would you travel to go see a man?? Your friends even warned you but mbanu you no gree.
      Open your mouth to ask for what you want but be aware that no one owes you anything. However a man that treasures and values you will treat you well. You are 31 not 55!!!

      Delete
    6. Abeg I'm tired of always repeating the same comment on this blog. Dress how u want to be addressed. If you're stingy to yourself then you attract stingy people. Stop trying to look like Mrs
      Low maintenance all in the name of looking like a wife because you will keep attracting low maintenance men that think 2000 naira for hair is too much. Stop playing the role of a man, don't feel guilty when a man pays and do not let all these hungry boys make you feel bad for having everything paid for. They are not real men and are shameless hypocrites because when they see a woman they like noone will beg them before they spend. Stop neglecting your feminine looks and upkeep the way a man would. Women are expensive to maintain, embrace that and the man you seek will be yours

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    7. Firstly, you write so well and must be "together upstairs". Secondly, you are from the South Eastern part of Nigeria and stereotyped on your future husband's tribe; and thus you may be limiting your scope and shutting out other interested and eligible young men (from other tribes) - dont allow yourself to be introduced to anyone again. Thirdly, you are obviously a good and well brought up girl. Nothing is wrong with you or your expectations. Finally, I pray that God grants your heart's desires concerning marriage - your God given husband, not necessarily from your tribe. Amen

      Delete
    8. Poster I usually don't comment much on Chronicles of BeeVees but after reading ur story I just had to comment on a few things
      You wrote and I quote 'Well during our first date while he dropped me off at my house, he held my hand and told me he would love to visit my mum during Xmas to tell her his Intentions if only I agree. That he loves me and this short while we have met and discussed, he can feel I am a good woman And he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I was overwhelmed at this official asking out.'
      Please poster this is not how a man officially asks you out. If I tell you I would want to see your mum and you are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with on a first date and I don't ask you if you would want to be my gf/other half/wife to be, I have not officially asked you out. Pls don't ever mistake this as a lot of ladies are on this table.
      Secondly from your write up I believe you are not a Saint but a good person. It's a shame you keep meeting these guys and even though you expect more from them( any lady that doesn't have an expectation from a guy willing to date her should come here and cast the first stone), I don't think they really liked you as much as they said because except you are a wicked guy, why would a girl risk traveling to come see you from a far place and you don't even have the conscience to give her something when going back or you go visit a girl in NYSC camp and go empty handed or not even give her small thing. C'mon those guys never really liked you and they never took you seriously.
      Pls don't put a lot of pressure on urself, keep an open mind, meet guys but don't give urself away cheaply, use time to learn them and if you don't like what you see bounce.
      I wish you the best and really hope you meet the guy of ur dreams and you are also that guy's dream.. Heal and take everyday as it comes. You have a job and are doing well for urself do don't bother too much abt men. We plenty and the right one will come at the right time..

      This has to be the longest I have commented on this blog..

      Delete
    9. Poster if no man is willing to spend on you why not make your own money and spend it on yourself however you deem it fit ? Most men nowadays, in fact 98% of men these days are fucking stingy. Ask most married women and girls in relationship they will tell you they're spending their own money on themselves ooh. Gone are the days men spend lavishly on women. Most of them these days are stinkingly stingy. You just have to find a way to manage them like that. From today's henceforth any good man that comes for your hand in marriage irrespective of whether he's a giver or not go ahead and marry and have your kids before menopause comes knocking. That's what 99% of women are doing now. Marrying the good men they meet while spending their own hard earned money on themselves and also support the family. Not everyone will be lucky to marry rich spender ooh. Just tolerate the one you see. Forget all the women that will come here and tell you never to marry a mam who doesn't spend heavily on you. They're simply deceiving you. I'm a marriage counsellor for more than 30yrs now and I can boldly tell you that most men of these our generation are born with some inherent stingy trait in them.

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    10. Haba madam,this your advice no follow.will you sincerely tell the same to your daughter?

      Delete
    11. Na wa for this advice. Marry any man that comes your way Really?

      Delete
    12. Anon 17:31 You lie!! Most men still take care of their family 100% even when the woman earns more. It all depends on the tone you set in the relationship and the type of man you allow into your life.

      Delete
    13. Anon 17:31.

      All you typed is a lie. Poster ignore this. Whatever you do, do not settle for this poster advise. It’s garbage.

      Men would spend on women who they think are worth it even while dating. You just have to raise your standard and you’ll be treated as such.

      Delete
  3. U don't open up in relationship
    Always acting independent
    Mean while deep down u need help..

    Just be free and open to ur
    Man and stop all this behaviour
    Of urs.the right man Will definately
    Locate u.best of luck to u

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, she's not acting right. She's not opening up, acting like everything is perfect.
      It's false impression she created in her head..

      Delete
    2. Taa! DON gbafuo!

      Poster, you were dating men that were not your spec and do not meet your expectations, including that old Abuja lawyer who is obviously a problem to himself and his family.

      STOP TRYING TO PROJECT THE IMAGE OF A DEMURE WIFE.

      You are ANXIOUS about getting married and ALLOW yourself to be introduced to men that do not meet your level of exposure/enlightenment.
      THOSE MEN COULD SMELL YOUR DESPERATION FOR MARRIAGE FROM AFAR!

      What are you doing being introduced to those traders you call businessmen?!

      Be open and allow guys who are attracted to you to toast you. Choose the one that best meets your standard.

      Get a balanced life and stop spending so much time in Church. Roman Catholics can be over-religious. I have them in my family.

      Love yourself better, be happy, CONFIDENT and sociable.

      Be classy and stylish in your dressing.
      ASK any guy that wants to date you to foot some of your bills. Men love such women. It trips their ego!

      TELL HIM to pay your rent, change your car, pay for your vacation, change your wardrobe, give you monthly upkeep though you work.
      THAT'S WHAT HE WILL BE DOING WHEN HE MARRIES YOU.

      That's what your dad did or still does for your mom.

      You reciprocate by being respectful, surprise him with a gift from time to time and if he is big on sports or birthday, always do something out of this world on his birthday or with his favourite sports team/sports star.

      Be a GOOD GIRL and ask for GOOD THINGS.

      Delete
    3. Don please choose a struggle. I noticed the way you run around in the comment sections whenever a Chronicle about stingy men is posted. You keep repeating nobody owe you anything. So no man owe you anything but in relationship you men want to eat cookies! Tell her baby!! do this and that for me but stingy to spend on your girl. But you men run after posh well kept girls. My brothers is becos someone is taking care of that bit*h that you are staring at looking all posh. If you cnt care for a woman. Tie your third legs and move on. Women need maintenance and care.
      Ladies if he cannt spend on you! Babe hide your own savings too. Stop spending on men. They dnt value you wen you do that. Poster sorry you kept meeting aka gum men. They are bad news πŸ™„

      Delete
  4. When a real man shows up, I mean the one for you, there won't be suspicions, nagging thoughts and fears. He will be consistent, assuring, his words will match his actions. He will even act more than he talks.
    No, He won't be perfect but his efforts will be visible. He will appreciate your little gestures and make it appear bigger than it really is and yes he will spend on you based on his worth. You can't love and not give. It's not possible.

    When next you meet anyone interested in having a relationship with you after this, take it to the lord in prayer. Tell him you need to pray about it first before making any decision. When you are sure in your spirit the man is the one, don't bend over backwards for him. The dating stage is for you. It's not a time for you to impress or give out a false image so as to seem perfect. It's a time the man gets to prove he is worthy of your time and presence amongst other men out there. Not a time for you to prove your worth to him by letting him know you don't care if he spends on you or not, so he could see you in a positive light. I have a lot to write but I hope you understand the little I have written. It is well.

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    1. **THE DATING STAGE IS ALL ABOUT YOU**
      Isabel Thank you for this revelation.

      ...If only they knew we won't be reading the same chronicle over again. A man is meant to pursue you till he proves his worth and you then meet him halfway but mbanu the man hasn't lifted a single finger you have raised your whole hand and your whole body as big as it is to show commitment to who? If I may ask

      Delete
    2. Sabella You just described my hubby. And I agree with what you wrote πŸ’―%

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    3. Thanks Sabella. I am not the poster but I have the experience as her too.

      Delete
  5. Nne please move on and stop trying to allow your friends and family matchmake you with any man.

    You are unconsciously giving off Independence vibes, I don't need your money energy...

    Enjoy your life and money, if you have prayed for your God given husband, allow God to perfect it and stop assisting God to do the work.

    Please never settle for a man who finds it difficult to spend on you.

    Even the poorest of men who loves a woman will be willing to give the woman he loves N7 out of his last N10.

    Stay Blessed and Hopeful, nke ka nma no n'iru.

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    Replies
    1. Excellent advice @Twin Squared. πŸ‘Œ

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  6. All i know is,you deserve the best as well as the good things in life which includes a loving and caring spouse. Stop lowering your standards,don't put pressure on yourself,don't be too quick to open your legs for any man again. Learn to start socialising,enough with matchmaking.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Poster be patient, your own man will come in due time. You don't have to be desperate nor should you question God.

    The one that gifted you a book on "how to be an obedient wife", was the most petty one hahaha πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Some men just believe that they are God best gift to women.

    Take it easy on yourself darling, there will be light at the end of your tunnel πŸ€—

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  8. I Ε₯hink your desperate tor marriage when i was 30 i became matured life had started for me as a young woman i met My husband at 36yrs old got My son at 37yrs old My daughter at 41yrs old for me i thank God that i had My kids at this time All the boyfriends i had before 30-34 where All useless i belive God has a plan for everybody Gods time is the Best those men Are not meant tor you move on someone better will Come for you. Your still young.

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    1. Please try to use punctuation marks. It's tiring read this.

      Delete
    2. .?,!-:"* Take i dash you.

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    3. That you started life late doesn't mean it should be same for everyone. 30 is NOT YOUNG!!!!!

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    4. 16:03 try to learn in humility.i al sure you are lady but you wouldn't see this your pride as a disaster for relationship.take corrections and punctuate.tomorrow now you start writing chronicles meanwhile your attitude stinks

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    5. Wow...you really tried oh. Congratulations ma'am.

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    6. 16:03 ahahahahahawhahhwhhwhaha u be clown sha...okwa take themπŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

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    7. Anon 16:03 abeg LWKMD

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    8. Shooter gal, who are you to know who started life early and who started late? Who are you to chide another person for her path in life, are you God? Kate Middelon that married Prince Harry at 36/37 is also late, abi? Life's destiny is different for all, please stop shaming people. This is why many women are desperate. Because of people like you. No, I am not the person you replied. Just wanted to add a word of caution to you. Women, let's uplift each other.

      Delete
    9. 15:28 please, learn to use punctuation. What is worth doing is worth doing well.

      It's never to late to learn something good.

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    10. 30 is not young abi? haq haq haq. you will get there

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    11. I feel somehow when ladies that married in their late 30s try to trivialize other ladies in their late 20s or early thirties who are worried for not being married yet. I'm sorry but not every lady wants to be above 30 and not married. You people tell us how you got married at 36 but don't tell us about all the worries, anxiety, loneliness, disappointments, tears etc in between. Not everyone has the ability to wait without getting desperate. So please allow them express their feelings. I was opportune to witness the ordeal of my cousin before she eventually got married at 38. How my aunt cried and had sleepless nights over the issue. Of course she has two kids now but we all know that she is the man of the house and the breadwinner. Please I'm not mocking anybody o but it's not something I'll like to go through.

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    12. 21:46 there are women who married early but are also the breadwinner of their houses too, so that your logic is false. No one is trivilizing anyone's desire. Men and women who marry late did not get up and decide to marry late. Women who marry early and are now breadwinners did not decide to. Life happens to all of us. The advice for younger women is that they should focus more on building themselves, and hopefully all other good things, including marriage will come. No one plans to marry late but life happens. I will advise younger ones to marry early, but if it doesn't happen, I will also advice them not to be desperate. You see the difference?

      Delete
  9. TL,DR

    This one na real chronicle o. Instead of thanking SDK as introduction, you should have written abstract.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! As per the research paper the chronicle became ba?

      Delete
  10. It’s a pity the kind of men you’ve been meeting. And NO, nothing is wrong with you. You just haven’t met the right person yet.
    From your write up, you are a good woman.
    Thing is you are not smart enough. You are too available for any kind of man.
    I sense you are a bit desperate and anything goes.
    You should have standards. Not every guy you are linked with you go with.
    Don’t for a second think you are the problem. It happens all the time.
    You should never go back to any of these men, they are totally worthless. Imagine that one telling you he only goes to high profile restaurants, e don see Mugu πŸ˜‚πŸ€£.
    When you love yourself enough, there are things you’d never settle for. You’ve had some very bad experiences and I hope you learned from them.
    Be patient and ask God for direction. You will meet a great man, that’s my prayer for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you SC.
      Poster you are a nice lady but you are settling for anything. Because your friends are saying the guys they are introducing you to are nice dsnt mean they will be the same to you.
      At the end of the day everyone is looking out for themselves, Look out for yourself too. Please stop letting your friends hook you up.
      People find love in hopeless places. May not be in church, work or parties you get invited to, you’d be surprised.
      There’s still time. And please stop comparing yourself with others in terms of this one did this and got that...it’s wrong, otherwise you’d be stuck in this limbo. Be happy you’ve got a job and can take care of yourself, what if you actually depend on these guys you date to foot your bill? Think o.
      I wouldn’t advise you to go back to any of these men tho. It’s time for you to level up.

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    3. Amen on her behalf. Poster you will meet him soon ok.πŸ€—

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    4. poster when you go on a date the first time and a man is saying he wants to meet your parents blah blah, just know it’s a scam. And low key you like a man spending on you so stop beating about the bush making it look like you are the first woman who’s like that. Own up to it. Na pamper you like, you no kill person.
      I like being pampered too in a relationship but that dosnt mean I act like a hungry mf.
      I think you were a side chick to these guys. They were double dating and you were the side chick they dnt want to spend on. Sorry babe but be at alert next time. And stop visiting them ni! Ahnahn na only you dey always first travel. My bf drives all the way from Ibadan to Lagos for the first two months we dated to come see me every weekend before I was convinced he was for real. These ones are even giving you excuse and won’t even pay for flight and you dey Carry your adult self all the way by road and still no show...And you continued the relationship? That your ex that’s still calling you and wants to die there start your trial with him, tell him you need money to get some food stuff, let’s see what he’d say.

      Delete
    5. Poster take advice if @Sluttychic and Convince me.

      Get your selfworth back. Stick to your standards.
      Do not accept just any man!

      Delete
  11. You build a wall around yourself and you leave these men unconsciously in your mind, knowingly or unknownly before they walked out on you.

    You're desperate too, men can smell that from miles away. I will advice you to free your mind, go out more, look good and make yourself happy.
    Leave that your stingy nan alone and move on. He knows you're desperate and he's using that against you.
    Dump him and start all over again, it's not too late. .

    ReplyDelete
  12. If you're sure you don't have spiritual problem, relax you're just 30 love ll find you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Nothing is wrong with you! You're 30 and you're putting yourself in so much pressure. Would you rather marry and have peace of mind in your family to a man that appreciates you, takes care of you and meets %80 of your spec at 35 or marry either of the men from your self imposed pressure? Last time I checked, not all that married under 30 were happily married.

    Some women older than you reading this will give so much to he at this your age to correct some mistakes they made yet you're here pressurising yourself to take a plung into the sea of uncertainty.

    If you rush in, regret will be your next of kin.

    Calm down. Let the 3 men go. You would marvel at positive turn of events in future and how self pressure would have cost you happiness. Better be lonely now and have marital bliss than the other way round. Loneliness does not kill. Stay calm.

    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 🀣🀣🀣 @ "If you rush in, regret will be your next of kin."
      Baltika 9 tell her!

      Delete
  14. Well maybe when next you are in a relationship, you should outrightly ask so that if you’re not given then you know where to categorize such men. I think one of your love languages is being gifted or being pampered with material things which is not bad because when you meet the right man that will reciprocate it then you will know.

    Funny enough I have this sister that before she got married, she can task men and because she’s is so beautiful, different men were on her case. As she’s tasking them, they were overdoing and sometimes I pity those men. Something l couldn’t bring my self to do, yet she does it effortlessly and gets away with it. Well she was a slay queen then but today she’s married to a good man who still cherishes her.
    In essence, some people can get away with asking and tasking men and it works for them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes your friend was beautiful but it has to do with confidence. Her self worth is very high and she refused to settle for less. Some of us were damaged as children and were told we are worthless. It takes God's grace to repair and heal.

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    2. Anon 16:56 I beg to differ. As an adult you are responsible for how things turn out in your life. Quit the blame game. Life is hard for many people.

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    3. Anin 1730 I pray you will never be damaged. Yes as an adult you are responsible for your life but some things are so deep and took years of conditioning to make you have a certain view of yourself. I am considered to be VERY successful and I don't mean Naija successful. BUT the emotional and mental damage takes years to repair and heal. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Once again I pray you will never experience certain things.

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    4. Anon 16:56, it’s well with you. It’s time you change the narrative, by reading books and listening to elevating messages. E-hugs.

      Delete
  15. When next you meet or being introduced to a man, don't be the first to visit.

    That's what I noticed about you. You didn't even mention when any of them came visiting. You were always the one who go to their houses. Stop it!

    To think you allowed the one that called himself a lawyer to have carnal knowledge of you after disrespecting you with the words of his mouth. You no try.

    Respect yourself!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! @ Bold Brave and Cool (BBC)πŸ‘

      Delete
  16. The few men you've dated were actually been careful not to date a runs girl and practically sees you as one who will not be loyal to one man. They are 'SCARED' of you.

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  17. Sister is entitled.all you ladies, no man is ready to spend while dating.a wise man spends on the wife , sisters, and mother.
    No one owes you anything please.haba!
    All this mentality too annoying.imagine.thay first one loves you but you choose to be blinded by short term goals.is that the way you spend carelessly too as a single lady ? Hell no.love means prudent financial management and not spending reckless!any person that encourages you to spend recklessly is not worth being in a serious relationship with.change your mindset please

    ReplyDelete
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    1. A broke niccur anthemπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    2. No! There are men that spend and it works for them while some do that and it doesn’t work for them. People are different with different mentality.

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    3. Hmm, so by that analogy even going to a restaurant or buying the occasional gift is reckless spending? Just say you are poor and move on.

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  18. You are desperate! Very desperate. Take a chill bill and act like you don't care in your next relationship. You sound very clingy and insecure.

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  19. As much as you keep emphasizing on not being demanding or materialistic, you are very money conscious. Coy doesn't become you.

    The truth is these men (even your matchmakers) think you are unassuming because that's the facade you have been putting out and that's why they are attracted to you.

    You need to stop playing coy and be yourself. As much as nobody owes you shit, the right man will do the bare minimum and more for the woman he loves. Those guys are not your man.

    It's okay to like good things and money and still be a good girl, sis.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's ok to like good things, money and still be a good girl!πŸ‘

      Delete
    2. There's no hard and fast rule to these things. I never had any expectations from any man as a single lady, and I would never ever spend one quarter kobo on any man either. And I would never ever visit any man anywhere. If you desire the relationship so badly, my doors are open. I stayed with my parents and I ensured all visits were to our house for my safety's sake.

      However if a man got me a gift for my birthday, gives a surprise gift, I accepted gracefully, but at the same time if he didn't it never crossed my mind that something was wrong.

      I have been happily married well over 10 years now. And I didn't bend the rules at any time.

      Just be you, set acceptable boundaries and honestly your own man will surely come.

      I suggest you take a break from relationships to enable you do a thorough self appraisal.

      Pele

      Delete
    3. Exactly! I was like her years ago. Worst mistake of my life. Attracted the shitt88t men. Then I wised up. NO I will not live on a horrid council estate when I have my own house and grew up in a very very nice neighbourhood. No I will not send my child to the worst school in the borough when I went to a great boarding school myself. Thankfully, I no longer met such men and I am now married to a Godly, wealthy man.

      Delete
    4. True perxie and Essay.
      Poster,please relax and enjoy your single hood,its not the end of the world.I know it can be lonely most times but make friends u can hang out with. Before I met my hubby,I was linked to a guy from snm here in 2017. I dropped my details and someone linked me up with her "bro" in abuja. We got talking,came down to the East to see me and I travelled to see him too(bills on him) but after I left, he stopped calling. I practically had to beg him to call but when I relayed my concerns to our matchmaker, he will spend minutes talking with her on the phone. I just moved on. In February 2018,I got introduced to hubby and he was all I needed.
      My point is,at the appointed time the right person will come along.for the time being,make friends,still be open to meeting Ppl but do not lower your standards.

      Delete
    5. Don't mind her. Let her keep pretending to be meek humble girl that doesn't demand much from men all in a bid to find husband. Me I don't pretend to be what I am not. I am comfortable and communicate that I want a man who can give me comfortable lifestyle so the people that match made me even knew the kind of man to matchmake me with. Let her keep dulling herself and suffering and smiling.

      Delete
    6. Start dressing well, use hat on your head instead of head tie when going to morning mass. You have the money, chop your money. Give yourself treat in some restaurants atimes abeg. Be prayerful and do not visit first. Be yourself and don't give up.

      Delete
    7. @16:57 I love this comment and wish every young girl would be raised like you or adopt your lifestyle going forward.

      Delete
  20. I think that one in Porr Harcourt was double dating, that person he claimed to be his sister, wasn't his sister.

    Don't be desperate, your own man will come and he will so spoil you.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly! He had to get rid of the fake sister before he picked her from the airport.

      True! He will so spoil her that she ends up feeling guilty.

      Delete
  21. Poster try to ask for money from a guy no matter how small.stop acting independent just try to be needy even if it is not act it. Nothing is wrong with you

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  22. I stopped reading after the second case.

    You have inferiority complex. I don't know how good looking you are but I think you don't take yourself too seriously that's why the guys don't take you seriously.

    I keep saying it. If a man truly cares about you (note: I didn't use the word love) he will spend on you no matter how much he is earning. He will give you something even from the little he has. The endure or tolerate a stingy and wicked man even for a week. When you see these signs run.

    You need to learn to say how you feel. We men are not mind readers. If he is not treating you right tell him. Don't endure nonsense. If you speak your mind about your expectations and they don't meet it. Dump their black asses.

    Finally, this your madam too holy altitude won't take you anywhere. Life is for the living. Learn to enjoy your life with or without a man. Getting married is not the last bus stop. It's just part of the whole journey. If you don't learn to live and enjoy life as a single woman, you won't either after getting married.

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    Replies
    1. 16:24 GOOD THINKING, GOOD PRODUCT! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

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  23. Dear poster, start telling yourself the following. Inshort, paste it on your bedpost, phone and everywhere


    I deserve a man that'd spend on me.
    I deserve the finer things of life. I'm too expensive to be treated like garbage.
    My life needs money.
    I deserve a man that'd worship the ground I walk on.
    I refuse to attract time and destiny wasters.
    Oloriburuku jina si mi. Etc etc


    PS: next time you want to ask your friends for hookup, be specific. If you say anyman, na any kind of man go dey chewgum you.

    I wish you all the best

    ReplyDelete
  24. Poster what if your men spends well during courtship and you go ahead to marry feeling all is okay and in marriage they show you definition of being stingy ? Ladies can be easily lured and deceived .you don't know what you want and when the right person comes , all this complains wouldn't be there.change your entitlement mindset as well!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Some BVS be displaying holier than thou attitude, saying she's materialistic and has entitlement mentality,what is wrong with a man supporting his woman financially? There are different love languages isn't gifting one of them?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg shift. Why can't she be supporting them. Abi isn't that what feminism is all about. And yes I'm a woman!!! In one breath you chivalric expectations from the men, and in another equal rights. Kikikikiki!!!

      Delete
    2. Even in this lockdown period God can direct a perfect man for you. All the best.

      Delete
    3. Thanks Mao Akuh.I am not the poster but with faith, I claim this prophecy🀲 Amen.

      Delete
    4. @anon 17:02, don't mind them ooo. They should feminism when it is more convenient for them. Men of nowadays don wise up, even in marriage.

      Delete
  26. Real long read,I pray you meet a good guy soon,don't worry yourself too much dear,and be wary of men your friends introduce to you,I'm talking from experience now,years ago before I got married,and this happened to me with 2 friends,It was after the relationships broke that I found out from one of the ex that it was my friend that told him not to spend money on me that I have money,awful man,so even if my friend told you to put hand inside fire,you won't use your head and do it anyway,yèyė dey smell.The other one our mutual friend let it out when they had a fall out that the babe that introduced me to the guy told him not to spend money on me that sheyy he sees that I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself,that I got a good job blahhh blahh,I wanted to faint ooo cos it's this same friend that will come to me asking me if the guy gives me money,does he give me treats?what does he do for me?why didn't he throw a party for my birthday?Fear some friends.In my own case though I had a lot of men proposing to marry me,even pastors,some were even going to my parents to ask for my hand in marriage,but I wasn't interested in getting married,but I later did married eventually.Poster you will find a man,a good one,just keep your fingers cross,it is well my dear.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I tot I wrote this,just all me. Poster, pls dnt hurry like I did. I married a friend that tot he was doing me a favor. My life earning all went on empowering him,of cos he wasted the money and business. He ran off leaving me with a kid. Now I realize my mistakes,the guys I later dated after my marriage also acted like they're doing me a favor. Now in my forties, I've not given up hope yet.
    Even reading through the comments is a lesson cos am still learning.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Girl im 33 years and i have standards, if you look scruffy i can't even date you...The problem with we Nigeria girls we feel 2 entitled, No one owns you any thing, we think when he spends on us den he loves us dats rubbish, work harder make your own millions, be a supportive wife not everytime 'I want'...we need 2 start letting these men knw we dont need dir money we have ours. I will settle down and wait for mr right while enjoying my life n making more money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm also 33 and I cannot date a guy who is not on my level. I worked hard coupled with Gods grace to be where I am today so cannot settle for a man that isnt on my level.

      I will keep waiting on God because He has told me He will send me my own husband.

      Delete
  29. Dear poster, do not settle for less. Do not marry anyone you don't feel at peace with.
    Your love language is receiving gifts, your man must do that to feel up your love tank. A wise man will study his partner and determine her love language.
    When you date a man who verbalises his love for you and gives you gifts regularly you will fall in love deeply with such a man.
    There is nothing wrong with you. Take your time to find the right man. When he comes, it will be as if you have never fallen in love before. You will have this indescribable feeling of peace. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Baby Girl. Nothing is wrong with you. You just haven't met the right one yet. And you are a good decent girl. Give yourself some credit. To hold down a job and pay rent in Abuja by yourself is not easy. And your write up was well put together so I can see you are intelligent. Don't beat yourself up we have all made mistakes one way or the other. I can totally understand, once that biological clock starts nearing 30, we women become a bit restless. You didn't share what your relationship with God is like. My darling, lay it all at the feet of Jesus and forget it. He is the one that has the blue print for your life. Why dont you go to him and ask Him. While waiting, pre occupy yourself with other things. Be happy, hang out, turn down a few hook up proposals (Yesss, it would do a lot to your self esteem), enjoy the money you are making and continue to aim higher. I have a feeling that your husband is already around you but in the place you least expected or where you are not looking. You are a Boss Chick Girl. Give yourself some accolades.

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  31. Poster you are not a bad person but are desperate, pls calm down the right person will come and spoil you silly at the right time. Do not go back to any of them, watch and pray.

    ReplyDelete
  32. DON'T EVER GO BACK TO THAT FIRST GUY. stop listening to his beautiful nonsense. Start over again, work on your self,place a value on your self don't ever go below your standard out of pressure. When you place a value on your self, people that know your worth will come to you. And pls don't settle for less ,if he's not your spec pls move on don't try to force yourself to accept shit cos you're desperate. God will come through for you,just hold on a little while. Your man will come. A man that loves you will be willing and glad to share with you no matter how little he has ,you know why cos giving is a language of love. Sending you e-hugs dear.

    ReplyDelete
  33. My dear I'm the same age like you. Men were serious for marriage with me while in my 20's but l never liked them. The once l like were fuck boys and of course married men.

    I have taken to the Lord in prayer and certain He will answer by giving a man that will love me to the moon and back

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  34. There's something about you. And You haven't met a man that loves you.

    ReplyDelete

  35. I will suggest a national protest by all naija ladies over the refusal of men above 30 yrs to marry but rather prefer to hire and pay them off. Men do give excuses of not having money to marry but i have come to see it as a deceit because marriage is not all about money. Women have 45years reproductive years while men have 100years. Why is it that naija men are wicked to an extent that 40 years men are still not thinking of marriage? Who will marry all this single ladies all in our streets. I suggest naija single ladies with the assistance of the ministry of women affair to go on mass protest to national assembly and beg them to pass a law that will mandate any man above 30 to marry. If not that, i pity ladies because men are not really serious this time for marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Those of you saying she is desperate will be the first to shame her for her age and single status. Poster read books on developing your self esteem. Also get books on positive affirmations. If you are a Christian pray to God for a generous and honourable man like Boaz who will treat you well. Give yourself time, be yourself and speak up about your expectations. Liking good things does not make you demanding.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster take it easy on yourself, where are you rushing to? Married or unmarried that will not take you to heaven.

    Not all of those young couples you see in your church are happy in their homes. Not all your married friends are happy, some wish to be single. Enjoy your single life while it last.

    Stop telling men you are an independent lady,if anyone invites you to come visiting ask for flight fee, tell him to book for your going and coming back. Do not pity him else he will fee you do not need his Money.

    Stop sharing any money gist, your achievement story with anyone you are dating. Always ask them for money, airtime, money for your hair, you need to buy clothes, shoes, do not behave as if you have everything.

    ReplyDelete
  38. My only question is this;why did the first guy wipe your face with a handkerchief when he visited you in camp? Were you sweating or crying? That part drew my attention.

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  39. I didn't finish the write up it is too long biko i stopped at 2nd guy.

    Poster God will send your own man in Jesus name Amen

    ReplyDelete
  40. Poster first of all there is nothing wrong with you., you happen to be hanging out with the wrong guys.
    Then stop acting like you dont want a mans money,or you dont admire men spending on you. If theh like let them call you gold digger ,let it be. Put what makes you happy a priority in all your relationship, dont ever pretend. Dont give any man the opportunity to treat you bad again. Take that marriage desperado away and then be yourself, we know you want marriage but dont say ok cos I want him to marry me let me reduce my standard or whatever, just be yourself, dont hide anything, enjoy yourself. Your man will come soon. Also don't underestimate the power of prayer too, tell it to God. It is well

    ReplyDelete
  41. Stella I respect you oh. Were i in your shoes, I won't even know where to start advising her from. You better tell her to start billing her men. She's claiming she's not desperate for money yet it appears that's her love language. You got her right, Stella.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Those 3 men are off. Be yourself and the right man will eventually come.

    Never travel distances and be the first to visit a man you got introduced to, let him go the distance to see you biko, you are a treasure that should be hunted for. When the relationship kicks off and is defined, you can then do that.
    I remember 2 men that family friends gave my number at different times when I was single. Two of them were outside the country.

    The first came in from France in my final eand told his siblings he was looking for a wife. They went to my house and got my number. He requested I come home so we can see, I refused and asked to come to school that I was busy with academics (this is a 1hr 30mins trip oh, Owerri - Aba). I felt it was awkward and a tad bit desperate too. The guy declined and I 'boned' him.

    The second man was in Germany, we were talking and I had sent my pic via email and we talked a few times. When he visited Nigeria, I was away in Osun State for NYSC. He called and asked me to come home (Aba) which was like 6 hours away, I told him to come instead and he was giving excuses of kidnappers, no airport close and all that. I stood my ground and it annoyed my mum sef. The man finally decided coming finally but I discouraged him cos I didn't like the drama he put up initially.

    For me, it reeks desperation to travel interstate to see a man you're being match made with, and stay over.

    Pls relax, the right man will show up.

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  43. Poster, You may be a good person but i feel u may not be mentally ready for marriage.. The lawyers sends you a post nd expects something intelligent from you nd gets nothing is a big turn off for many guys. You may hv a good job nd a pretty face but u may be intellectually deficient in reasoning nd other areas..Increase your learning capacity, read books, get involved in conversations..

    ReplyDelete
  44. Poster , you better shine your eyes and be smart like a snake. These men of nowadays don’t date one lady , so why are you limiting yourself to one man ? Dress well , attend events and meet and date multiple men (date o , that doesn’t mean you should drop pants for any man) just date them so you don’t invest too much emotions and attention for just one guy , then drop the ones that don’t treat you well and maintain the ones that do. You should be able to ask for what you want , coz these men are not afraid to ask for what they want from women.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Poster I'll make this simple and short- YES you're the problem. And the problem is that you're TOO NICE. Men love a challenge and that's why the so called demanding girls you referenced above keep WINNING! My simple advice to you?? become and ASS HOLE and watch men flock over you...thank me later!

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  46. At 30 you are desperate to marry any Tom, Dick and Harry while a 33 year old medical professional excelling in his career is falling over himself to marry 43 year old female.

    Girl, have some class! πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ™„

    ReplyDelete
  47. Just be patient,talk to God about how you feel, love yourself, take good care of yourself and you will be fine. Never forget "this too shall pass" keep a journal if possible and write down some of these important advise. Just relax and don't dwell on it too much. Let's know how this got settled hopefully

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  48. I pray that God surprises you with a very good man who will cherish you for who you are. You sound like a very nice person. God bless you. And please do not give the cookie. Be patient and wait for your wedding night, it will be worth it. Trust me on that one.

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  49. First of all, do not compare yourself and your life with others. Get your head out of their relationships and how fast they are getting married. You are not inside the marriage with them and you do not know the whole story.

    My opinion about your relationships, allow the men to pay your bills abeg. Allow them to chase you and hunt you down, when you help them with this process, they will never value you. It is not being materialistic, see it as that you are testing them. This way you will not waste your valuable time and emotions on them when they do not act up.
    Yes, you are 30, I will not encourage you to compromise your standards.

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  50. Poster read ' the power of the pussy' that book changed my life. I'm sure it will help you

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  51. 1. You are materialistic. No man owes you money for your time, travel or sex. That is prostitution. Know your worth.

    2. You are dating stingy, broke and poor men who cannot afford to show affection and since this bothers you, stop pretending or change.
    A man doesnt have to be rich to shower u with gifts but he must be generous.

    3. You need Jesus. You seem like a good girl who tries to be good but your standard is too low for Christ and too high for the world. If you want to find a husband the worldly way you have to be prepared to loose your self dignity. If you want to do it the Christian way, you need to ask Christ to guide you and do not compromise!


    Goodluck

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  52. Writer, just be patient a good man will come. That your first ex is a no no for me.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Just be patient, a good man will come. That your first ex is a no no for me.

    ReplyDelete

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