Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Adventures Of Oko Ashawo The Uber Driver -24

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Saturday, May 16, 2020

Adventures Of Oko Ashawo The Uber Driver -24

Oko Ashawo has come again with another story oh






Due to the imposed curfew in Lagos and the way people hurry to get home before 8pm
, the traffic situation is now so bad that I hardly make up to 4 trips in a day. Sad right?

A few days ago,towards evening, I set my destination towards where I live so that my next request would lead me towards home. I was so hungry but short of cash because I had visited the mechanic workshop to fix the AC in my car. ..I was short of cash but very hungry...



I positioned close to a shopping mall and luckily a request came in from there. 


Shortly afterwards, I located my rider; a lady whose boyfriend escorted to the car and told me to drive her home safely...She sat in front with me with the various food packs she bought from the mall....or maybe he bought it because naija babes will never spend their own money when they are with a man.


She appeared unfriendly and did not acknowledge my greeting.

As i drove,she brought out the different cooked food and was demolishing them one after the other like someone that was really hungry...


She ate on and the sweet aroma almost killed me but i kept my cool and prayed that ''awoof go run her belle''...lol

After driving for about 30 minutes, we ran into very heavy traffic. A journey that would normally take about 45 minutes was now stretching beyond the usual. 


After a while, I observed she was uncomfortable and was sweating like a ram that escaped being slaughtered for suya...... How could she be sweating when I just fixed the AC that afternoon? I was even thinking of adjusting the temperature because i was almost shivering,so how can she be sweating?

As we continued in traffic, I noticed that she was letting fresh air in every now and then and there was a foul smell that hovered around ...It was obvious this big babe was farting silently but i held my breath and asked her what the problem was and she just waved it off that she had farted and decided to air the place....

As we continued slowly in traffic, she asked me to stop at any nearest convenient place so that she could ease herself.....I said OK and after a while i heard her stomach rumble and she asked me in plain Waffy English

 “My guy abeg, where I fit shit?” 

Aaaargh my prayers had come true and it was not funny at all....

I wanted to punish her by telling her I had no idea but the thought of someone doing the poo in my car made me change my mind.


she begged me to be fast about it and Jokingly added that she didnt want to do the do in my car...

I stopped somewhere she could use and she jumped out of the car and practically ran to the Toilet as if she was being chased by someone with a cane.

When she returned to the car, she thanked me profusely and we continued the Journey...She became nice on the way and tried to make conversation...

It took emergency diarrhea to humble her..

Eventually, I got her to her destination and as she alighted and paid me,she offered me what was left of the food and Also paid me 4k instead of half the amount......
 I thanked her and she left...


As i made my way back home,which was not too far off,i stopped somewhere to throw away the left over food,I may be hungry but i no be dog wey dey chop food  wey 'slay' chick chop remain and more so,not after all that farting drama and the running to the toilet scenario.....


I went home to fix something to eat and had a good laugh remembering how Madam humbled by shit sweated and farted.....
I noted that i would not allow anyone eat in my Taxi again,especially all these babes that leave one location with packs of food and head to another....
I am an Uber driver and not one that transports customers with shit....Haha!!

I hope my end note will not annoy the females here again?..I dont fight with women when i can love them *wink*

47 comments:

  1. Hahahahahahahahaha.
    Funny story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But y would someone eat and give u d leftovers to munch on????I really find this offensive to me. If someone shld do dat to me, it means d person doesn't hav home training or human respect!

      Delete
    2. Tess, Nnem , there are people like that. Some don’t see it as a bug deal while others feel they are doing you a Favour.

      Delete
  2. Nigerian ladies know how to liquidate a man on any outing. Just pack takeaways like someone that is organizing a party.
    Very annoying mentality. 😏😏😏😏

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can say that again dear

      Delete
  3. Interesting read as usual but...
    "because naija babes will never spend their own money when they are with a man" another wrong generalisation. You really need to stop doing that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't mind him

      Delete
    2. He boldly wrote that as if he knows all naija babes. Mtcheew

      Delete
    3. Lol, guess most of the ladies he knows falls in that category.

      Delete
    4. Lol, guess most of the ladies he knows falls in that category.

      Delete
    5. I'm beginning to hate the fact that you're gradually generalizing the whole of naija ladies,its bad,please stop it.

      Delete
    6. ...but when generalizations about men are made, u generally chill. πŸ˜›πŸ˜›

      Delete
    7. He's beginning to show his true colors.

      Delete
  4. You have started again with your generalisation. You haven't seen ladies that do pay for whatever they buy and do pay for guys too????

    Biko, next time stop somewhere and buy food.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Truth be told... It's guys that spend most times aha🀭
      You no see where the guy say he dey short of cash after returning from the mechanic? 😁😁😁😁

      Delete
    2. My dear, don't mind that Oko Ashawo. Though we are few, some of us still pay for our outings.
      I think the point he's trying to bring out here though is that when you see a lady coming out with so many packs of food that she can't finish, it's most likely it was paid for

      Delete
  5. Its good you discarded the remaining food she gave you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ Oga driver, your unfortunate customer might be a Bv here..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 😁😁😁😁😁🀭🀭🀭🀭
      I'm just trying to imagine the BV reading her story here... At least, he didn't mention her name and location nah 😷😷😬😬😬😬

      Delete
  7. That is life for you, when you arrogance lands you in some serious shitπŸ˜‚ YOU MUST HUMBLE YOURSELF if not ordinary serious shot go turn real deep shitπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


    Am happy you did not take the left oversπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ


    Thanks for sharing this, i had a good laugh honestlyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oko Ashawo, you is funny. Interesting read, Quantinuee

    ReplyDelete
  9. You're back with your foolish generalization. Mtcheeew. GTFOH

    ReplyDelete
  10. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„ you and your false ideologies and hasty generalisation,
    A lot of women spend their monies when they're with their spouse or boyfriend.
    There are women who do not feel comfortable when a man is always the one paying the bill .
    Well as for your rider , she made a mistake of eating too much at the same time ,good she paid you in appreciation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do a survey and tell us the statistics of women that pay for outings when they're out with men. Are they up to 10%?πŸ™„

      Delete
    2. Thank you @ your first sentence. I just didn't want to stress myself pointing it out.

      Mr driver, you're becoming annoying. Hiss.

      Delete
    3. Anon darling 😘
      Okay I'd so a survey soon πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    4. All these snowflakes...you cant take the same punch of generalization most of you gleefully entertain about men! Enough already! If u pay for ur bag full of things after days out with men, good for u. If u don't? Good for u too. I guess it's true what they say- when u throw a stone, the dog that screams...

      Delete
    5. Anon i don't generalise cos its not right to generalise .

      Delete
  11. Lol... Very funny. She should have taken the food home to eat rather than eat in the car.

    ReplyDelete
  12. See humilityπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  13. I had a good laugh as usual

    ReplyDelete
  14. It's only the poverty mentality stricken girls that goes demanding unceremoniously from guys, the real ladies are so smart to pay before a twinkle of an eye or better still share bills, they hate relying on guys

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg where can I see these real ladies?

      It seems they only exist on social media

      Delete
  15. I had a good laugh after reading your story. Thanks alot.

    ReplyDelete
  16. All these ladies that are calling out the poster for his generalization, you need to calm your tits down.

    In all honesty, how many of you will go out with a guy and actually spend your money?

    Even when the guy doesn't spend as much as you assumed he would, it's still you people that will come here and start complaining how stingy men are.

    Leave all the social media gragra and talk truth small.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why not speak for yourself if that is what you do - hoard your money? Don't rope the rest of us into it.

      Delete
    2. Anon 18:44 but she said the truth. Lol

      Delete
  17. Ok but about the part where she was described as being a snob,is it compulsory for your passanger to speak with you or get into a conversation?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He didn't describe her as a snob. He only said she didn't acknowledge his greeting

      Delete
  18. I love you my man. No time.

    ReplyDelete

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