STAND ALONE NARRATIVE....
SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOUR
Stella, I am so so angry but I will try as much as possible to be strong.
Don't know why there's a thin line between love and hate. So to the gist, hubby and I have been married for almost 11 years now and I bet you we never had any serious argument (usually had misunderstandings but before you know it we're back to terms again... we're that close)
But early this year, one of his customers (a lady) lost her husband, so after the burial(of course he attended alone, cos I was busy with kids) things changed.
I noticed that he's always on the woman's case, which I drew his attention to and how uncomfortable I feel about the relationship. But he claims he's just helping her with one or two things since she's trying to set up her business. But I bet you Stella, he leaves house as early as 8am comes back 9 - 10 pm ( Monday to Sundays).
Meanwhile, he claims nothing intimate between them which I never argued but then, he's hardly at home(everything is all about her cos according to him, he wants to be in her success story) but this is a man who gets pissed off when a course mate calls me for enquiry. He can't even stand me chatting with someone ( he's that jealous)... Most time he takes my phone all night to know if any possible suspicious messages/calls will drop.
Hmmm, back to my gist... So, the lady called him one early morning as we were having our moments(gisting), he quickly had to dress up cos the lady complained that her shop generator is faulty, he literally left me to attend to her...
Out of anger I had to express my feelings(of which I told him I don't understand their relationship any longer). He became angry too, left the house (as he was about leaving, he asked me to send our househelp number to him instantly... which obviously implies that he wouldn't call me again instead he will rather call the girl to possibly check on the kids and open gate when he returns etc).
But I didn't give him access to the number which triggered his anger the more. For four(4) days counting, he comes back late, refuses my food and keeps malice.
Like seriously, it can be very annoying, don't know why marriage all of a sudden goes bitter... It can be tiring and annoying. And I can't possibly beg because I don't know exactly what my offense is ... So am just watching him and his behaviors and it's a terrible and painful watch. I can't contain it but still can't do anything about it.
I know the write up is disjointed... didn't write it with my clear eye. Kindly advice. Thanks
*Your hubby is in a something with that woman,the signs are all there.......
I dont know what to advice right now but he definitely does not come to equity with clean hands!!
I rest my case...
ReplyDeleteJust because her husband has passed away, does not give her the right to interfere in another woman's marriage! I understand the saying that "face the man and not the mistress"...BUT...if the other woman does not give the go-ahead, a man can never cheat (unless he turns to homosexuality or bestiality).
Deleteposter, you have every right to the angry, it is normal and don't feel sorry for it. But, don't let the anger consume you. take your issues to God in prayer and make your hubby understand you feel betrayed. pls don't bring the kids into this and try your best to look as beautiful as ever.
DeleteLet me just catch space here. Y'all really think it's the widow he's constantly with?
DeleteHe might be going elsewhere and just using the widow as excuse.
Poster please make that widow your friend and you'll find out more
For peace to reign, I suggest you talk to him. Call him when he's in a good mood and have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell him about your displeasure with his recent behaviour, don't quarrel with him, make it as peaceful as possible.
DeleteHowever, if he doesn't change, then call the woman in question and tell her what her presence is doing to your home. She might be innocently indulging him, so talking to her May help.
I hope that woman is not using jazz. Might be time to get on your knees poster. Get a copy of Prayer Rain and find the appropriate section.
DeleteTo all men, you see this thing right here 👆 you need to stop it, you put a woman through so much hurt and pain and make them go crazy trying to figure out what is going on, its painful and believe me, you won't want to be treated the same way.
DeleteDont marrys someones daughter and do what you like cus you are a man.
If the woman starts her own now, they will call her a slut.
Push up, God bless you.There is just so much a woman can take. It's soo painful.
DeleteSee if you don't act fast your hubby is gone,just let me share an experience,a friend lost her hubby last year,and didn't tell me,I got to know from another person and I quickly called her closest friend,and that one apologized on her behalf and told me I should go see her that she's already strong,I got to her place and asked her why she didn't call me,and her reply was 'I think say you hear ignore' and I said why I go hear ignore',she traveled for the burial and came back in less than 4weeks,and I bought some things and went to see them,her
Deletechildren were becoming too clingy,crying and insisting that they would wanna come visit me,we met at the children's school event,she asked if I still have space in the car,I said yes at the end of the event,we all left together and they alighted close to their house,I had to beg her children to come down,and told them they can come tomorrow,because they insisted on going home with me,
long story short,before 10am dem don show,I started preparing assorted dishes,and my hubby went to restock the house,and I called him to get them stuffs, he got more than I told him ,I was angry but didn't show it,remember he hasn't seen her until that day,he really apologized for not calling since her loss,I left them briefly and came back to join them,I noticed her gown was showing her thighs, our children were all playing in side the room,my hubby left and was inside the room all through, they left in the evening,long story short my hubby called me downstairsIand said we need to talk,he was direct and said, I don't want her here again,don't call her again,I know when you like someone you give your all,but just realise today that I don't want to hear,I was snatched from you,he went on to say her dress was short (the ankara mourning gown)and she knew but didn't do anything to pull down her dress,instead she was opening her legs
Go to her and have a friendly matter-of-fact conversation with her.
DeleteIf it happens that she is genuinely oblivious to the effect of her relationship with your husband, she will appologise and you both will agree on the best way to handle stuff.
If there is an ulterior motive, she will take offence and become defensive.
Any which way, put your friendly foot forward and talk to her as someone who needs her help. If she is not agreeable, gently leave. When you get home, ignore your husband and face war room. You need the prayer o.
Poster I have only 2 advice for you; 1, Start praying for your family &
Delete2, Turn P.I ( private investigator) on your husband. Ok bye
didn't know I clicked publish,this my story is very long,I wish I could share more,but I received severe warning from my hubby,he said just know she can poison you to be in your place,I remember her telling me she doesn't care about marriage ,but will look for one correct man that will help her train children,see ehnn as an Ada Nri my ndaboski nature came alive,poster I repeat act fast,in fact start hallelujah Challenge today.
DeleteNedi Glamour, your husband na man👍👍
DeleteNedi Glamour kindly finish it, can't wait to hear d gist.
Delete@ Push up, you just made me cry😭😭😭. I've been strong all along, your comment just made me cry. Am the poster.
DeleteThanks Stella, thanks everyone, I appreciate all the advice.
Get a grip on yourself poster. It is hard I know. Don't be harder on yourself.
DeleteNedi glamour, you and your husband are disgusting! The type of people that judge people from their physical appearance.. May God not let my enemy meet people like you!! Maybe that’s why she didn’t want to open up to you in the first place that her husband died. She may have had terrible intentions but For Godsake she did not make a pass at your husband or give any behavior indicating that she was interested in your family.
DeleteMay God not put us in a situation where people will judge us unduely!! Praying for that woman and her family!! See how you said the story!! Are people that paranoid that your husband thinks she wants to snatch him because she wore an inappropriate outfit!! I’ll stop, just too angry!! Please for God’s sake, never go back to her, don’t pretend you are a friend!! Fake Friendship!!! Lord have mercy!!
@ anon 19:17, e-hugs ok? Be strong for you and your kids. Pray more and talk to your hubby. If you can, approach the woman too in a friendly way and hear what she has to say.
DeleteAnon 19:37,Me and my husband are disgusting? wait until you get married and stop sleeping around with people's husbands,From your write up its obvious you are experienced in this matters about husband seduction,Sorry bitch it was my experience and story not yours,I do not owe your stupid opinion any explanations hence learn how to mind your business and stop been paranoid thinking every body's experience exposes your type here. I'm done with dignifying you with further response in case your daft self miss the message.
DeleteThen again!! See yourself, You are wrong, I am a married woman with conscience!! Happily married with kids for 10 years, not once did I ever not trust my husband or worried about cheating because our foundation and hope is on God!! I do understand this is a problem a lot of homes have to deal with by God’s grace with all humility, not one of my problems!!
DeleteSome people think they are wise but in their stupidity do mean and unjust things. Whatever rock your boat and makes you sleep well at night!! Just know that God who works fights for widows will justly fight and vindicate that woman if she was innocent!!
And please don’t even bother to respond!! Go watch your husband around everyone who wears short or skimpy outfit!! They might be out to snatch him.. lol
Please Christians or whatever you believe in: I am not saying you should open your eyes and let the devil come into your household.. Yes there are Evil people but please remember to show empathy and compassion. This Nedi trashy or what ever her name is, tried to sound smart or wise but unfortunately showed the opposite of true friendship. Not totally her fault, the lady coming to someone’s house who dressed inappropriately and her husband jumping into conclusion. Whatever the case maybe, please don’t go forming friends or helper to this widow, God will provide genuine people who will not judge her around her and cover her shame/weakness. I don’t have time to start creating blog Id and commenting so there is no anonymous in this!!! This is my last comment.. Miss Nedi Trashy!! Hurry along and go make satisfy your judgina husband
@Nedi, wise decision by you and your hubby. For your husband to reach that decision, he must have noticed something. Please be nice from a distance. With the stories I hear, I don't trust people like that.
DeleteNedi Glamour, pls do not mind that anon 19:37 she definitely belong to the husband snatcher geng. I beg just listen to your husband and avoid story that touch the heart. If a man tells u that; his brain has processed the situation and realised his own weakness with this woman. He is putting you forward as his defence so don't take it for granted.
DeleteNedi Glamour, ignore that anon. See ur husband did the right thing. She may not have had any ulterior motives but people need to learn how to behave in people's houses, especially when they are married.
DeleteI am very particular about that. I don't dress anyhow or sit anyhow when I visit my married friends even when I was single.
I repeat, ur husband did the right thing. I'm sure he know what he saw before deciding to take that decision.
@nedi you have a good husband
DeleteWhy do you guys like to cause chaos where there is none? Her husband wasn't comfortable with the skimpy dress and he told her. So do you expect her to continue to invite the woman over when her hubby clearly said he wasn't comfortable with her?
DeleteA man who went out of his way to buy so many things for the widow and her kids suddenly changes gear, do you not think he may have seen through her intentions or actions?
He may not have told his wife the full story to avoid confrontations. Let us stop attacking unnecessarily.
You are asking people to show empathy and compassion, and then you proceed to call her Nedi trashy 👏👏
DeleteMy dear Ned your hubby is a good man. Some of this widows very wicked and diabolical. You have a free mind to help them but the opposite is what is in their mind. Looking for a married man that will pay their bills and take care of their children. Pls poster stop making problem with your hubby pls I warn you just start praying. Pls pray I don't want to share my story. Is it the married woman a choir mistress my husband wanted to help. Before you know it pastor and him choit mistress all of them jazz hubby to the tune that they asked him to marry her as second wife. This world is wicked
Deletethat anony was just trying to say the woman widow might just be innocent.Nedu hubby painted it like she was trying to seduce him which might not be so.The man shouldnt v concluded like that.Hes probably tempted by Her and turned the whole story around
Delete05.09 prevention is better than cure, many women have stories to share.
DeleteNedi, just ignore that Anonymous. God bless your husband and may God keep your home.
DeleteAnonymous the poster, sending you plenty hugs and hope God restore peace, love and unity back in your home, men can make women crazy atimes, dont give up please.
Push up 👍🏾
Nedi your husband is a good man, dont mind that anon...
DeleteChaii, why didnt Ioen this post yesterday, Nedi ignore hat yeye annon,
Deletesome widows, not all but many are like that, I remember when one of my husband's kinsman died, it was God himself that saved me from the wife, what some widows do is that once their husband's die, they start looking for a capable man to gum themselves to so they can train their children, there is nothing innocent about that woman, she cane prepared,
this particular one kept calling my husband night and day,sending him all kinds of suggestive messages without coming out straight, what my husband did was to be putting her on speaker each time I am there that she calls, I will join and greet her,he still sends her money once in a while but she backed down on the advances. Your husband did well to tell u na so e dey start, once he gets near whether na jazz or whatever ,the man don enter
They most likely have something going on. Is there anyone u can report the matter to if he’s not listening to u? Parents ? Pastor or someone he respects . Nawa o I don’t even know sef
ReplyDeleteHe definitely has something with her, and he isnt a bad guy so he doesn't know how to even do it with sense and put his family first.
DeleteJust look at how this man is inviting satan into his home.
why do men toast their friends widows?
Dear poster, just do you, whatever you decide to do just do, i will not blame you.
Keep nagging the man, the more you keep talking about the woman, the more he drifts to her.
ReplyDeleteDon't you have anything to keep you busy other than monitoring him like a private investigator ?
I guess you both live in the same house to know the woman is a nag?..are you ignoring the fact that the man is an infidel..
Deletena wa for you
Don't worry. What goes around comes around. You will get your own share very soon.
DeleteShe has every right to monitor him, the last I checked she was his legal wife. Anything happens she is at the receiving end. Heads or tail.
The woman is manipulating this woman's husband and whether they know it or not emotions are flying. She has a shoulder to lean on and its someone's hubby. She should be very concerned. And the man is not helping that woman heal well. She should not lean on any one except God. She can get help from here and there but jot at the detriment of another home.
@Don, I feel sorry for you.
May God forgive you for this comment. Some of you just don't allow your 6th sense to finish booting before you talk. Someone is gradually loosing her home,you are saying shes nagging and she should keep herself busy so she doesn't deserve to be happy?
DeleteFirstly, i wanna assume you're not a small boy. I fail to understand how a GROWN Man like you reasons the way you do. This is the very first time i'll go against ANYONE on this blog & i'm deeply angered at your comment. You're obviously not married cos if you were, you'd understand the grouse (and deep-seated worry) issues like this pose in marriage. DON, if you don't have any advice or receommendation to offer, it's best not to write anything at all. Haba!
DeleteMay this come back to you some day.Only then will you understand her pain.
DeleteDon you know is not a must to comment on every chronicles...on this, you need to drink water and mind your damn business,dont be insensitive!!!
DeleteHe also monitors her. Madam get friends to keep you busy online. The fuck go some tire him. Detach yourself emotionally from him.
DeleteDON,pardon me to say that you are very very stupid. If you were married, I'm sure you would know better. You have turned brother gwegwe and hating on women anyhow. I've monitored your comments and seen how degrading they are to women who write about their plights with their husbands.
DeleteI pity the woman that will marry your poor and lazy ass. I am married with children and understand the woman's complaints which is why I'm mad at your comment. You don't have to comment on all post if you have nothing meaningful to say.
Don, get busy with real life work and stop living on blogs like your life depends on it.
Don, I wish you what you wish this poster in your marital life. However, the only difference will be that your wife will be sexually involved with your overall boss/benefactor. She would be the one to call the shots both in your home and your career. Heck, your entire destiny would be controlled by the same community pussy who happens to be your wife!
DeleteBomboclaat!!!
So the man is a dog that he cant control himself.
DeleteWhen a woman has an issue with a man no one blames the man for nagging.
Someone is hurting his wife and you call her a nag, dint he do something to deserve the nag?
Abeg dey use your head.
Pls get busy and ignore him. Get yourself a boo.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteExactly what I'm feeling too,poster please pray and don't nag him while in the process
DeleteNa wa oo. Madam ùr husband don dey gbensh her
DeleteMadam I will say you should leave him and start doing things that will make him jealous... but pls for your self respect do not confront that shameless widow
ReplyDelete@Aproko
DeleteThings that will make him jealous; so that they two will be doing same things?
So how will that make the woman right and how is she going to avoid adulteries????
What aproko is saying is that she needs to do things that will give the man a brain reset.
DeleteIf she keeps talking and acting like she's the only one who's got something to lose, that man will keep behaving foolish.
I agree with Aproko. Such men will be glaringly wrong and yet continue with their insensitivity.
What you can't take don't dish it. That man just wants to have his cake and eat it too. Poster do what Aproko has suggested. It works always.
Don't just pray alone put him on his toes, rubbish.
You and your woman to be accountable to you while you are accountable to no one?
Poster, I have been there. Ignore him. Don’t ask him any questions about where he goes anymore. Stop cooking for him. Always be on your phone. Have your earpiece in your ears the whole time when the kids sleep....smh...This is what I did, and my hubby is all over me. He is even afraid to stay out late lol cos he wants to know who I might be in the phone with. Men can’t take a 1/4 of what they dish out to women. You have every right to be angry.
DeleteDon't stop cooking for your husband pls.
DeleteAnon 16.44. Nice idea but poster biko cook for house. Not cooking is not an excuse. Password ur phone and do like u dnt care. E brain go reset.
DeleteAnonymous poster please ignore Anonymous 16:44s comment. Not all advices here should be taken serious, dont use your hand to destroy your marriage. 2 adults can't be both foolish.
DeleteI pray you find comfort, restoration of peace, unity and love in your family "home" .
You sure this woman never involve juju.. And turn your man against you because this one is not ordinary to me! Poster, how many ears do you have? Start battle with prayers and start sending hot arrows and thunder.. Don't wait oh till its beyond worse! That woman has seen the sweet side of your husband and she is trying to ruin what you guys have "people tend to ruin good things" ! I repeat hot arrows and thunder my dear
ReplyDeleteThat's what my mind is saying.. I don talk my own o
Same thought I have, poster listen to this advice and don't keep silent, your husband may have been hypnotized.
DeleteExactly,prayer is the key.
DeletePoster the part you said she called about generator ( which is a very very flimsy excuse) he got ready and left the house, should tell you that,there is more to this than meets the eyes.
Devil don't like peace in marriages, so he finds a way to collapse most peaceful marriages when a loop hole is created knowingly or unknowingly he enters making sure the centre never/ doesn't hold.
This is not the time for do me I do you, keeping malice or calling third parties since there have never been any problem in your home before.
I know you're hurt , go on your knees cry to God, tell him how you feel,ask him for help and tell God to take control. If he is sleeping, and you have access to him,hold his hand,head, feet or penis; pray as much as you want: don't wake him up to avoid unnecessary questions.
Pray poster please pray there is no over dose.
God loves you.
no be men again, you can't trust them no matter how long you have stay in marriage with them. Things can change overnight..
ReplyDeleteOga has entered express road o.
DeleteI wish you wisdom in solving this poster.
ReplyDeleteSorry to say but the widow has become a strange woman in your marriage you need to pray her out of your marriage. Please be patient with your husband n just b watching, Dont fight with him cos fighting can hinder answers to your prayers but dont be silent in the war room
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteWhenever a man begins to avoid his home, there are at least two reasons;
ReplyDelete1. The woman, wife at home has become a constant dripping in her nagging and the man prefers the desert to his home.
2. There is another woman
This story looks like a combination of the two.
If you continue with this "anger trend," you will succeed in succeeding in creating a niche for him
in the home and heart of that widow.
I would advice you to watch "Fire Extinguisher" by Evom films on Youtube. Shalom.
Proverbs 27:15 A constant dripping on a rainy day and a contentious woman are alike— 16restraining her is like holding back the wind or grasping oil with one’s right hand.…
ReplyDeleteYour husband is having serious affair with the lady, so your eyes and take it to God in prayer...
ReplyDeleteBoth of them are gbenshing eachother..
May God guide you on how to handle the situation at hand...
Very serious affair
Deletesome men can't take what they dish out...
ReplyDeleteposter,its possible your husband is having an affair with the woman out of pity...
i'll advise you dont stress yourself much because of your mental health inasmuch as his attitude is so frustrating...their secret will be exposed someday
Poster please stress yourself o... life is bittersweet... don't keep calm, go to God in prayer day and night and i believe he will hear you... you need to engage in spiritual warfare because our adversary the devil is a destroyer of every good thing... don't give up, May the Good Lord give you the strength to fight this battle and this shall turn to you for a testimony in Jesus name (Amen)
Delete16.02 👌
DeleteHe is keeping her bed warm. He will soon get bored of her...that's is, if she doesn't hook him diabolically...she has nothing to lose.
ReplyDeleteSdk has said it all something is fishy
ReplyDeleteHave you caught this man cheating?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely not. So why the sparking off quarrels?
Proverbs 21:9 New International Version
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
And the husband who refuses to eat and keep late nights is not "quarrelsome" abi?... oh,he's a perfect gentle man
DeletePlease the bible also says "Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God--matt 5:8"
"Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven--matt 18:21-22"
"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth"-- 1cor 13:4-8
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it--Eph 5:25
"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered--1Petr 3:7
@ano15:15 this is for you
This thinking is as a result of when the brain is disconnected from the other parts of the body.
DeleteWill you handle this matter same way you are suggesting now if you found yourself wearing poster's shoes?
Hypocrite!
16.26, you are blessed.
DeleteI will advice you go and have a chat with that woman,make her understand your plight..
ReplyDeleteAnd for your husband, calmly give a resounding warning that he should not make you come and disgrace him one day in the woman's house,which will be shameful for them both..
Considering the fact that she just lost her husband..
I don't understand, is it that easy to move on,when one losses his or her spouse..
Or where they an item before her husband died...
Please, poster, I will advise against this, don't get involved with the woman on any level. As it is, your husband will embarrass you into apologizing to her when they are both wrong.
DeleteGet a prayer circle going, preferably family members and a trusted pastor if you have as this battle is very likely spiritual.
Stop fighting and quarrelling with him. Just keep confessing what you want to see in your home. Its not easy but try not to let his actions get to you.
I will advice you go and have a chat with that woman,make her understand your plight..
ReplyDeleteAnd for your husband, calmly give a resounding warning that he should not make you come and disgrace him one day in the woman's house,which will be shameful for them both..
Considering the fact that she just lost her husband..
I don't understand, is it that easy to move on,when one losses his or her spouse..
Or where they an item before her husband died,because the whole relationship is suspicious..
Poster don't take this advice... Pray to God and don't ever give up on prayer even when it seems like change isn't coming... believe me, change will come... just trust in God and obey his Word.
DeleteI agree too, all this facebtge man alone don't wash with me
DeleteTalk to the woman, don't keep quiet.so she knows what you feel and either she shows her true color for the worse by coming out of the closet.confront her and see if she the shameless type so you know what you are dealing with.
Prayer is the master key. Poster, start praying like never before.
ReplyDeleteHe is sleeping with her they have had this relationship going for some time now..might be before her husband died that is why she has this hold on him. And he is not ready to quit any moment soon. In fact that is his 2nd wife.
ReplyDeleteWhat to do? Tell him you can feel he is with her and you want him to end it. If he gets more angry, report him to someone he really respects you all try sort this out.
If after all you have done he still doesn't end it, Ignore him. As painful as it may be. Ignore him totally. One day he might open up and even marry her, or her might repent, and ask for forgiveness.
How do people with cheater husband hope again? They ignore and do any other thing that makes them happy. Even if it's to take a walk.
It is well, don't forget to pray too, nothing God cannot restore...maybe this woman is using juju to hold him too
Nne fight for your marriage. There’s Fire on the mountain.
ReplyDeleteIt's not good news, seriously. Its not. A man that refuses food over such matter is just playing you.
ReplyDeleteThis is his perfect defence mechanism and a way to turn it around and make u beg.
I'd suggest u snoop. So if u don't see anything suspicious, u can find a way to relax till he calms down.
But a man that spends more time with another woman than he spends with his wife is highly suspicious.
Very suspicious, she should look deeper and fight for her marriage before it's too late.
Delete@The poster please disregard aproko queens comment. Kindly pay the widow an harmless visit, explain your plight to her and beg her calmly and that it should remain between both of you I bet she will obliged. I've been there.
ReplyDeleteExactly what I wanted to say...I don't know about the begging part tho. They should talk like adults unless she is not remorseful then she can enter war room.
DeleteDid you just say oblige? for where? if she's having an affair with that man, it's most likely she won't stop unless an higher power intervenes.
DeletePoster, the Lord is your strength. Please don't go begging your enemy when you have a God who can fight for you, please.
Aproko's advise is one side to it and yours is another. I think poster should do both.
DeleteThe visit to the widow will expose to a degree the true relationship between her and poster's husband.
If the woman gets defensive too, poster you would which turn to take next.
Nothing like begging who is she? Talk to her like an adult, atleast she know you are suspicious of them, either they come out fully and you know what you are dealing with or they respect themselves.
DeleteVery simple, pay the widow a visit and watch her body language, don’t forget to drop subtle threats before leaving, as for your husband keep him peace
DeleteDear poster, from all you’ve written, it seems your hubby is intimately involved with that widow. I’ll advice you to watch war room and pray for your marriage.
ReplyDeleteProverbs 27:8 Like a bird that strays from its nest is a man who wanders from his home.
ReplyDeleteThe woman is using your husband to shine, and she will drop him as a piece of hot coal when money no dey again. My advice is to you is to befriend her, visit her once in a while. Then one day when you notice that your husband is in her house, pay her a surprise visit. He will be humiliated seeing you.
ReplyDelete@Ellaelle most adulterers have no shame, he might even ask for a divorce when caught in the act.. it takes the intervention of God
DeleteTrue
DeleteDear poster, pls report him to your pastor or the woman's pastor. Your husband is not the only one that can help her. He should stop playing God in her life. He is not her God.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, sorry to break your heart but the truth is your hubby is cheating on you. Snoop and you shall find the answer.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar situation where my husband claimed to be helping a widow too. Went as far as making me be friends with the lady. She comes to my house and hubby will say he wants to go drop her off in ikorodu while they were in an hotel philandering. I was shocked to my bones when I followed my instincts and snooped. The lady had planned on overthrowing my government. She had stationed her son to be manager in my hubby's business. I don't want to write what I went through. when I discovered it and raised hell, due to the rights my husband had given her, this woman insulted me inside out and my husband told me that I deserved it. My God fought that battle for me. It was tough because she went diabolical and when she couldn't succeed she turned against my husband but today I thank God that my home is back to normal.
Wow. Exactly what I was saying up there, this is not normal.
DeleteWow!
DeleteAnd someone up there is busy quoting scriptures like the poster not seen a reason to stand up, investigate and do the needful to save her marriage which is the midst of trouble.
See, even this madam had to do something while she prayed.
Thank God for your home. Na wa o.
DeleteWow
DeleteSee how he invited devil and those widows are always vicious like snakes.
Thank God they dint even kill you.
When you start acting like you don't care. He will come home. Its difficult but please press the ignore key. Make sure his food is always available. Be the one to open gate when he comes late. Always form busy with your phone when he is around. Smile and laugh out loud even if you are reading Stella blog and see him turn around to beg for your attention.
ReplyDeleteI dey tell you
DeleteAnd make sure you pray, I believe prayer works.
DeletePffttt has He ever been so bed ridden that you have to pick his calls for him?🙄 like you know, Regular malaria++?
ReplyDeleteLet me go Anon.
Hian!
DeleteWow this is very very serious. I am so sorry that you feel this way. I will advise you try as much as possible to keep your cool. Please don't be confrontational with him and don't talk out of anger I can imagine how annoyed you are. Just allow him for now and pretend as if all is well.. Continue with your normal life. Focus on your kids and keep praying for him. I believe your husband is under some spell. Just ask God to give you peace and I believe he will turn away from his foolishness.. Join Nathaniel Bassey on Hallelujah Challenge On IG. All the best..
ReplyDeleteShe should keep quiet until the woman gets pregnant. Report him fast.
DeleteMore like expose the extramarital affair
DeleteIf you know how to pray, start praying. Let that relationship scatter like it never began. This is not the time to quarrel with anyone. And please never go to meet the woman. If there’s anybody your husband listens to, get them to talk to him.
ReplyDeleteBegin to pray fire prayer and begin to get your ducks in a row.
Prayers by fire.. And poster be happy because God listens faster to we women! Just watch out
DeleteYes o poster, all you need now is serious prayer
DeletePoster take this advice... nice one @ AdaBekee
DeleteWhy not pretend with one of your friend to call you often especially when he is home,you can save the person's name in a guy's name.Laugh and smile while talking on phone and end the call with I miss you and cant wait to see you.No be man again?him brain go reset
DeleteInukwa calling your husband that her gen is faulty!!! Some women are so wicked Makachi !
ReplyDeleteAs innnnnnnnnn.. That's why I told the poster to involve thunder from the creator himself coz he's the only one that can find a fast solution to this matter!!! Saying she should be cool go dey long. Such disrespect and madness
DeleteMy sister, the story just spoilt my whole mood.
DeleteThey really need to be visited by heavenly thunder and lightening.
Poster had better do naked midnight prayers for days/weeks till she sees results. Let everything God created begin to work against that relationship
If I was a different kind of person, I would have said poster should go and knack pigeon on both her husband’s and the widow’s head so everybody can rest.
Such disrespect, wickedness and blatant lack of boundaries.
E nor make sense at all.
DeleteShe won't call him if he gen is faulty if the man hasn't made her so comfortable, I can imagine him telling her to call whenever she needs him and he had the option to tell her he'll stop by later but chose not to . He is to blamed
DeleteThat man has been hypnotized. Poster, pray hard to get your man back before it's too late
DeleteAt this point, you have to leave him alone. Stop nagging and trying to know what is going on because it seems something is cooking already. Focus on yourself and the kids. Set your mind for the worst so you get the shock of your life if it eventually happens. Now you have to be happy, focus on yourself and job and ignore him. Dress well, cook nice meal for yourself and kids, pretend to be happy and above all, pray and let him see u pray too. If after all these nothing changes, dont break down, keep it going until evrything is resolved either way (settlement or divorce)
ReplyDelete*So you dont get the shock of your life it it eventually happens.
DeleteMadam! The signs are too much and your intuitions too! 11 years isn't a child's play in marriage,so start aggressive prayers every night,fight for your marriage on your knees...for you guys to be happy all these years and boom issues start after her husband burial says a whole lot,the devil doesn't like a happy home! So don't give him that satisfaction to steal the harmony in your home
ReplyDeletePls,don't confront the widow,even your hubby! Leave him alone and pray,let God fight the battle for you
All the best
Every marriage has a trial time and is obvious your marriage is under going same.
ReplyDeleteJust keep all heads up and brace up (be wise) now. I mean you shouldn't relax thinking everything will come back to normal without one of you trying to set things in place.
Haven't you think that your husband is angry that you don't trust him? He might be a man with good heart and for now, he has nothing but sympathy over her ordeal. And he might be dancing to her tune without knowing the consequences.
I blame the widow because she ought to know she is dealing with someone's husband and do things the right way without exposing his marriage to things like this. She needs to stop before things get at of hands, then devil as usually will be blamed.
Dear, I advice you to call him up and apologise for not trusting him and then, get involve too in check up on her. Get close to her and read her mind and intention towards your husband. Infact make her uncomfortable with your surprise visits and reclaim your husband's affection back.
REMEMBER TWO WRONGS CAN NEVER MAKE A RIGHT. Men and their ego are like 5$6.
If his heart is soooooo good he would take his wife along each time and also decline when the widow calls out at odd hours, especially since his wife has expressed her feelings about his new attitude.
DeleteThat's the first red flag in relationships:
He/she begins to avoid you to spend more time with some1 else. He/she can longer stand your presence.
This has nothing to do with trust. The last I checked, people earn your trust and nobody should be dishing out trust where it is being betrayed.
I see no concrete evidence of cheating here, especially if his late homecoming ain't due to emergence of that lady... Try think things through, it's all in your head!
ReplyDeleteWomen's intuition is very strong. Its not in her head.
DeleteMadam,Tell your husband that you are not comfortable with the relationship. That is all you should have to say. If he doesnt listen,come back here and I ll tell you what to do
ReplyDeleteWhy are some women this wicked? You lost your husband and the next thing is to break another woman's home? So married women should are be scared of supporting their friends who become widows because of situations like this?
ReplyDeleteMany married women are scared of widows, single mothers and advanced ladies, they snatch with no mercy and most times, use jazz.
DeleteThree of my friends had this issue with their dads while qe were growing up and one lost the dad to the Widow, the remaining two managed to get him back after much prayer and fasting for years.
Right, blame it on the woman alone. The man that is following her like a lost puppy nkor🙄
DeleteThe thing taya me, my sister.
DeleteAnon 16:43 God bless you for that correct listing
DeleteThis is serious.. u really need God's wisdom to handle this situation.
ReplyDeleteIs there nobody he respects that you can report him to? His father? An elder brother? A spiritual leader?
ReplyDeleteBefriend the woman. Tell ur hubby u want to meet her, that u want to support her too in any little way u can. If he agrees; good, its best to keep ur enemies closer but if he refuses, then u know there's serious problems indeed that urgent action.
ReplyDeleteCan you get the woman's number and call her ,let her Know you want to join in their success story too, Tell her to be calling you too for help.that you don't mind helping out too.lets see her reaction.just be calm while doing it.agent of peace
ReplyDeleteMay you find correct counsel in Jesus name Amen.
ReplyDeleteWidows are very vulnerable when they've just lost their spouse, I've seen a one who lost her hubby while pregnant, pregnant again barely 3months after child birth. I won't say your husband fell into her trap, rather your husband didn't know where to draw the line. Your husband is sleeping with that woman and she is already catching feelings.
ReplyDeleteRead through other peoples advice for solutions. And yeah keep making his food don't beg him cos he's trying to use reverse psychology on you, don't raise the issue again, act like you aren't bothered let his conscience eat him up. Start chatting and laughing with your friends, watch movies and look sexy and above all pray.
Its better to deal with a single lady as side chick than a widow (they can be very dangerous).
ReplyDeletePoster,it high time you deal with her in prayer,ask God to set confusion between her and your husband. 11 years in marriage is no joke,put in your garment of prayers and fire on.
My Dear an advanced lady is worse than a widow. If I share my experience here, u will weep
DeleteHas happened to me b4. Using my own experience I can comfortably tell u that ur husband is having an affair with that woman. In my case I had to fight my husband and warn that woman off him. Act fast cos this kind enh the next thing u will hear is belle. Good luck
ReplyDeleteAs it is, that woman is ready to be a second wife. Pray, act fast and involve whoever that he listens to and be as wise as a serpent in case of she goes diabolical. Midnight prayers to counter it. God is your strength.
ReplyDeleteSis,start praying and watch that affair or closeness or whatever scatter right before your eyes. Try and keep your cool, I know its hard but you can do it. I speak from experience. May God restore your home.
ReplyDeleteI'll advise you don't fight him on this matter anymore. Do your part as his wife, when he gets back during his late hours, talk to him calmly about how you feel and pray for him.
ReplyDeleteYes, pray if you still want what you have back. It's not all men that cheat with clear eyes. I've heard stories. It's well with your home.
Madam,ur marriage and your husband is under serious manipulation.dont sit and fold your hands or fight your husband cos it won't yeild any good fruit.
ReplyDeleteYour husband has been dating that woman before the death of her husband and most woman who are unfaithful are very diabolical.
For that woman to move on easily after the death of her spouse means she is a force to reckon with.
Madam get the name of the woman and when it is 12midnight, strip naked and begin to pray using her name rebuking her and destroy every evil she has done against your marriage.
Return her evil arrows back to her and call on violent angels to fight for u.plead the blood of Jesus over your self and house hold and stop her before she stops u.
Do this for seven night and see God fight for u.
Stella stop abeg..what if he’s just helping her without strings?there are still some humans within us abeg so stop concluding like that.You people don’t tell Stella the truth on this blog,maybe it’s cos of what she does for you guys on a personal level.When she makes mistakes y’all need to correct her,that’s how true friendship works
ReplyDeleteStrings till late in the night at the detriment of his home? Mbanu. It is not right.
DeleteIf the Poster was a man reporting his wife, will you all be advising him to pray or fight the other man away? If reverse was the case, you would have advised the man to end the marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster, if your husband is cheating on you, why should you be the one praying or fighting? It could be that your husband is simply taking advantage of a woman who just lost her husband rather than her being the cause.
Can we stop behaving as if men are babies who do not know right from wrong?!
Poster, I advise you bring in respected family members or friends and confront your husband. If he is not repentant, make your exit plan.
What kind of rubbish did I just read? All of you commenting fight the woman, fire prayer, ARE YOU ALL FOR REAL? The man is very VERY aware of what he is doing. That's why men have been getting away with rubbish because of una mentality.
Most older Nigerian women spent their youth fighting and praying for their husbands who use their youth to "flex" with as many women as possible. Then in their old age they calm down and the women think they won. Sorry to burst your bubbles but the only winners are the men!
In case you don't know, JAZZ is real and typically a man would be the target as he tends to be the one with the money. So yes she needs to pray!
DeletePoster the ball is in your court... if you're a Christian and your home is worth saving PRAY!... if not, toh... but i pray the Almighty God restore your home in Jesus name (Amen)
DeleteSee anonymous this narrative is different oh.. As you can see they were very happy as a couple until of recent! This attack on their marriage is still fresh, so it's still worth fighting because this one is not ordinary at all!!! Common Gen was faulty, man stand up go dress dey go.. Ahhh, who even calls someone's husband to complain about faulty Gen? Is he a generator engineer? Itunmo 🤷
DeleteCan you get someone to monitor his movements henceforth
ReplyDeleteMy advice is to wait it out. Well, it's only a big deal to you cos when you people marry, you become laid back, relaxed and lazy. You no longer put in the efforts. We that are permanent side chicks, we know a man's attention will definitely sway once in a while. You just have to do 'the doables' to win him back. Which includes ignoring him sometimes. You just pretend like you don't know he's cheating. I can't imagine now having the added advantage of being 'the wife',H c'mon he's definitely coming back. Na borrow, dem borrow am.
ReplyDeleteWelcome side chick. Kontinu the "good" work you are doing. Harvest will come inugo?
DeleteHianest!!! Osinor permanent side chicks? Wonder!!!
DeleteWhen you get married, you will know that all those your skills aint shit.
DeleteWho told you I want to marry a monogamous man?
DeleteYou don't want to marry a monogamous man but you are "doing all the doables to win him back" in your own words. Why are you trying to win him back? After all if you want a polygamous man, that means there would be love in sharing, no need to win anyone back.
DeleteAnyway, continue the self deceit.
What killed the husband?
ReplyDeleteHope he didn't die of HIV?
Worst case scenario
While praying, use condom
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Stella don't add fuel to fire without hearing the oda side of the story,don't urge her on without proper information from both sides,marriage is no joke.
ReplyDeletePoster please confront the lady peacefully n also pray for your husband....Your crown won't fit someone else
ReplyDeleteMy advice is to wait it out. Well, it's only a big deal to you cos when you people marry, you become laid back, relaxed and lazy. You no longer put in the efforts. We that are permanent side chicks, we know a man's attention will definitely sway once in a while. You just have to do 'the doables' to win him back. Which includes ignoring him sometimes. You just pretend like you don't know he's cheating. I can't imagine now having the added advantage of being 'the wife', C'mon he's definitely coming back. Na borrow, dem borrow am.
ReplyDeleteDear poster,I can understand you very well cos am in this very situation, just that mine is worse as am still TTC after 10years of marriage and the widow in question has a 4year old daughter who she uses as an excuses for my huu to run to her,he does school runs,homework, takes them to the hospital, and guess what, they help in dictating out outing as I can't go out with hubby without she making sure that the child tags alone,she calls at odd hours to know what I cooked for him.
ReplyDeleteI will tell you to just relax, package yourself, and be prayerful, cos that's what doing now,I buy myself the latest clothes as the lady is not as beautiful as me,and I make sure I visit him in his office when she's there with her child as they are colleagues, let her know who is the real madam.
Say whaaaaaat?
DeleteWrite your own chronicles pls.
Anonymous 21:50 and you're still friends with this widow? The woman owns the home, if I don't want you as a guest in my house: trust me ul never enter my house anymore.
DeleteYou're not barren, God will bless you with your own children. So let that child stop tagging along with you guys on every outing: what nonsense 😏!
Stop discussing your matter with the widow, if she calls you every day reduce the call to once a week, its your phone and you don't have to pick every call and lastly, speak to your husband.
Why are men always so inconsiderate atimes? We do everything to make them happy and comfortable
He may not be sleeping with her, something is not right,speak positively
ReplyDeleteSorry for want you are going through, poster the only thing i will tell you, is to start praying as never before because it is the country we are in, where men think women are the third hand citizen.Please don't confront the woman, in order not to create more problem between you and husband, as the situation your husband needs help.
ReplyDeleteDont ever nag or criticize the widow again. Keep yourself busy and happy on the phone. Get her address but dont go there. Whenever she calls for him, go with him. If ur hubby refuses, take a cab and meet him there. After all, three heads are better than two when solving generator matters. This period, dont fight ur hubby, always tag along and do stuff with him.
ReplyDeletePoster, your husband is acting offended because he is not sleeping with this woman yet but the simple fact that you've told him their relationship makes you uncomfortable and he still carries on with the woman is a sign that the relationship is inappropriate.
ReplyDeleteI suggest you stop fighting your husband. Instead apologize to him, ask for his forgiveness. When that is settled, insert yourself into his friendship with that woman. Every time he is rushing off to help her when she's in distress, you too dress up to go and gist with her while the generator is being fixed. Limit their private time together. After you do that one, enter gear 2. You two start "needing" your husband. Call him home to fix things for you. Act like you're in distress and he's the only one that can fix things for you. When he comes back, trust me be wilm have a sour attitude, ignore it. Just shower him with praises once he fixes your little issues. Tell him how wonderful he is and how you don't know what you'd do without him. Hail him. Continue gear 1 and gear 2. You will get your husband back.
See that widow, that's what she's doing for him. Making him feel needed and necessary for her "success" story. You need to let him play that role in your home and life again. That was the jumping ground for their situationship to start. Interfere with them and replicate the feeling at home. If your husband is sensible, he'll come back to normal