Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Monday, May 25, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm......








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THIS THING CALLED MARRIAGE



My story will be a long one,pls be patient with me . Life hasn't been kind to me since I can remember I have never been happy, it always issues here n there.


I got married 6yrs ago in my early 20s , when I met him he was the perfect man, family and friends say it was a match made in heaven. That was a lie...

 months into the marriage late nights started ( 2-3am)I made a grand discovery, guy man smokes cigarettes and weed,he infact is weed dependent, it became so bad he smokes at home, he says it is his house,I am to keep the kids away from seeing him smoke πŸ™†

how????I can't say how he hid the habit from me, we dated for 8 months before marriage.

Cheating nko,he travels to hook up with girls,was sleeping with a girl leaving with me n she in turn was arranging her friends for him,I found out when I suspected something was amiss n I checked the girls phone,haaaaaaa,I was shattered, I was pregnant at this point,so I sent the girl away without drama n confronted him,he denied everything even though I had screenshots as proof, instead he was angry I checked the girls phone, haaaπŸ™€ .



He was transferred,we relocated to another state, here he upped his game,he sleeps with anything in skirt,joined a whatsapp group where they hook up for s#x,organise parties n ORGIES🀯,


Treating STI became as normal as treating malaria, still this man will deny he cheats.


Of course our finances suffered because there are girls and parties for him to fund so we were constantly broke, relocating makes it hard to get n keep a job(we have lived in 4 states in 6yrs)so I tried business.

Yes I confronted him,I begged him to stop,cried,prayed, one day after begging and crying he told me his s#xual fantasies are not what I can handle,oya tell me let's try some n see,he won't hear of it,he says " forgot it abeg, just concentrate on being my wife".


2yrs ago he lost his job because of his desperation to get money to fund his life style,and weeks after he was scammed of d payoff from the company including my savings that he lied to me to collect (I am too ashamed to write about how stupidly I was tricked) .


TBH I tolerated all these because my mum constantly reminds me that I must not allow my marriage break as hers did
 According to the Bible divorce is hated by God
I was ashamed of what people will say and the fear of the unknown.


BACK TO THE STORY: when everything came crashing down I stayed put, forgave him and decided to give the marriage a second chance, believing he has learned a lesson.I got a small job that pays 20k, he went to Lagos to hustle, his family got him a car for Uber, for the first few months I get 6-7k a month with a lot of stories.

I have two kids, for two years now I pay their fees ,rent, clothing alone,he doesn't care how I get to do all of that, he just comes around every 3-4 months spend some days n he is gone. Being the good wife, I kept my cool,praying and hoping for a change.


Sometime last year he left his family house to an unknown place,when I found out n asked him where he stays in Lagos he got angry that I am questioning him ( I still don't know where he stays)

By November he stopped sending money and hasn't come home, he has stopped calling me and the kids and won't take my calls or any of my family members. His family is tired of him and so they have washed their hands off him and his.


I am done with the marriage,I am so scared of what lies ahead. I will go back to my state as soon as I can ( definitely not to my mum's,she won't have us) Please advice what I can do with little or no money to earn a keep, before I get a job please.
Please say a prayer for me.



*Na wah...stories like this eh just makes one tired of this thing called Marriage.
get to where ever you are relocating to and study the environment to know what to sell.....

112 comments:

  1. Stories like this breaks one's heart. Just make sure you don't listen to your mum by staying with him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, if true true true true you do not ever want to go back and you are young and need capital, let me tell you what to do.

      Go register with a surrogacy agency. Help a couple bring their child to life and you will be paid handsomely after 9months during which your every immediate need are taken care of till delivery. You might even get extra if they are rich.

      Now, there are classes of these agencies depending on the class of clients needs they cater for and the higher they pay. It is a noble deed and you will be doing for money and betterment of your children's future what you have done for free and molestation for years.

      While at it, you will be provided security and secrecy which you need to be far from that husband of yours and ample time to truly wean yourself off him. Even if he finds out, it will be easier for him to think you are pregnant for another man so he should forget about you.

      Return his bride price though.

      Good luck.

      Delete
    2. This is bad ,this is not marriage .God please I pray for all the singles ,may we not make mistake in choosing a life partner.πŸ™

      Delete
    3. Didn't you read that the man has disappeared @ Bash..

      Lovelace

      Delete
    4. This dating for few months is not good o and u were just early 20s so why the rush for marriage. If only u had known him long enough u will have known abt d weed smoking,late nights and womanizing and u wont have ventured such a marriage. Pls take ur time to study men...once a man is a night crawler,always in bars it will only get worse during marriage and such men are almost always womanizers. I just hate such lifestyle in men.
      This isnt a marriage or a life. Pls move on and dont look back. His type doesnt even need to have a rltshp with d kids till he sorts his life. I pray for provision for u and ur kids bcos dat man is bad news all round.

      Delete
    5. Dear men, stop acting like you don't have a home, spending all day and night outside your home. Is your wife supposed to be a furniture? How do you expect to bond with your kids?

      Except you run a club or a beer palor i dont see why you should spend your days and money investing in a lifestyle that doesnt pay you.

      Madam, just move on, like i said, food stuff is in now.

      Delete
    6. Advising women like you is a waste of time. If he comes back tomorrow, you'll still accept him with open arms and not even drag him to a lab for a full test nor demand for the sign of true repentance. When you are ready to really move on, you will.

      Delete
  2. Hmmm dear poster, don't be scared of what lies ahead, just commit your way,yourself and kids to God and have a positive mindset.
    You'll definitely overcome this o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, the truth is your marriage ended long ago but you are just realizing it.

      So sorry about your situation but I believe where there's a will, there is a way.

      CHOOSE to win.

      Start afresh.

      Go out and get all the help you can. You can do thisπŸ’ͺ.

      Draw up a plan. Work towards it. Pray towards it.

      There are people who had been in worse situations and today they tell their grass to grace stories. You can too. Just hold on and hold out. Refuse to break no matter the pressure. I know it's not easy but you WILL pull through. Trust God.

      Tomorrow, you could become a source of inspiration to other women who are going through what you have been through and are wondering "Where do I go from here?"

      Stay strong.

      @ Stella: There is nothing wrong with 'this thing called marriage'πŸ™‚. The problem is the people in it. Marriage is beautiful because that's God's intention for it from the beginning. Everything God created is beautiful and perfect.

      Unfortunately, we abuse or misuse that sacred institution and boldly come to a false conclusion concerning marriage. Many people have lost faith in marriage because of this.

      Marriage is not the problem. The problem is us. Let's work on ourselves and do the right thing by our spouses and our children. Let's give God His place in our marriages, and we will see how beautiful it will turn out.

      I speak as a witness to this truth. Marriage is beautiful and it's more beautiful with God at the centre of it.

      Delete
    2. Awwn Pure InspirationsπŸ₯°πŸ‘Œ

      Delete
    3. @ pure inspiration you're surely living up to your name πŸ˜˜πŸ™ŒπŸ½

      Delete
    4. Everything God created is not beautiful. He made the good and the bad.

      Delete
  3. Some men can be so annoying. Please divorce him asap. Don't be scared, everything will turn around for your good. You can't raise your kids, in your environment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One thing people need to understand is once something isnt working, seek your own happiness. Once you start tying it up and down forcing it to work, you will still get the same result.

      You probably should have left after just one child but you held on forcing it to work, now it still ended the way it was going to.

      The end of a thing is the beginning of another... Start again, return home, i will advice you go into food stuff. Theres money in it, you can add provisions as time goes on, or start frying things. Whatever the case never go back or you may be gifted with HIV.

      Nothing can break you again, it may seem like you are at the bottom bit the only way now is upwards.

      Delete
  4. Poster, l am happy that you have decided to leave. Do not be scared. You have the will and determination. Just take one day at a time. Look for a School you can afford for your kids. Sorry but leave your mom out of this. She would make sure you remain in that marriage. Do not let your in-laws know when you are relocating either.
    Let that man be. Do not take him back either. I am certain he has a lot more to treat now. Hang in there. Hugs.,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Selfish parents using their children's lives and future happiness/safety to in vain repair past mistakes

      Delete
  5. I'm one of the mami water he slept with have taken his glory and shine...
    My dear,live your life oo,get a boyfriend that would be taking care of you and the kids..
    That's how most single mothers and widows survive!...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Speak for yourself. I am a single mother. I do not sleep around to pay my bills.i work hard to cater for my needs and that of my child. It's your lazy kind that give single moms a bad name. Let me tell u Las Las when u die your sorry story of being a prostitute because of single motherhood won't get you to heaven

      Delete
    2. Queen is right, most men don't know what they get themselves into when they sleep around like dogs.
      Poster, please do all you can to succeed, anytime you look at the faces of your children, tell yourself that you will be better for their sake.
      You can start by selling something, if its edible the better.
      May God see you through.

      Delete
    3. Dear Queen, oh! How I've missed you!😘😘😘 Please don't be disappearing on us. You are one person I always look forward to seeing their comments

      Delete
    4. Thank you queen, poster if you are beautiful get a rich sugar daddy to take care of you and your kids and set you up, you have suffered enough, if you die suffering, the world will move on so fast, nobody really cares, if you get an opportunity for a soft life, grab it o.

      Delete
  6. I dint know how you date a guy for eight months and get married to him, I may be wrong but that's too short of a courtship, you probably got married that quick because he was in money then.

    It's good to find your way out of the marriage, I believe you have more than one kid for him.
    Just find your beating first and don't think of remarrying right now o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The way you assume and comment is somehow? She probably got married to him because he was in money then? So 8 months is too short to court? I pity who will end up with you

      Delete
    2. Even if they had counted for 2years,he could have hidden it from her perfectly

      Delete
    3. Smh, it baffles me sometimes what you guys consider as wealth..
      Someone that lives in a "RENTED"
      mini- flat or two bed room flat is considered as rich??
      Once a guy can afford 3-square meal per day, everybody will assume thathe is rich.
      Lol smh, makes me wonder the kind of poor homes that many people came from if they can categorize little things as "wealth"...

      Delete
    4. I met and married my husband within six months, GUYMAN didn't even have a job or business and I KNEW!BOY SHUT THE FU*K UP!!!!!

      Delete
    5. We dated for 1 month and got married, I was in 2yr and 22, he was 30 and had nothing much. Today we are 12yrs together and have plenty.

      Everything na grace and lots of maturity to make a marriage work.

      Delete
  7. Wow this is just sad and gives marriage a bad name tbh, immediately you started seeing the red flags from the beginning you should have started saving or threatening to leave him just to see if it would have changed him a bit, also am sure your mum knew of all these negative traits of his(or was she not aware?)

    Because if you had told her this and she still insisted on you staying then as an adult and the one who the shoe was pinching, am sure you would have saved and also make a decision on your own , because the fear of your mum and what people will say is what led to it being this hard now;
    (TBH I tolerated all these because my mum constantly reminds me that I must not allow my marriage break as hers did
    According to the Bible divorce is hated by God
    I was ashamed of what people will say and the fear of the unknown.)

    But what has happened has happened and we only learn and move forward from our mistakes, relocate and start afresh and i am sure good fortune will smile on you, for now just focus on yourself and your kids alone, let nobody opinions or ideas deter you from believing you can make it okayπŸ€—,regarding business you can start selling and trading on essentials,when you get to a new location just try and ascertain what is lacking in the neighborhood that people would always want and you can start small by selling those and gradually expand(example can be foodstuffs)...God be with you and your kids πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isaac, you see this thing called marriage it just luck just like playing gamble. Time frame in courtship is not a yardstick for good marriage. I had seen people did courtship for decade but after marriage guy man changed to something else. So at times is not about years of courtship, money, beauty or what have you.


      Poster thank God you have made up your mind, but as you prepare to leave never look back irrespective of anybody's advice / plea to stay back. Thank God you have kids already. Its better to leave now with mild STI than to stay and die of AID or any other serious ailment.
      I wish you good luck in whatever you lay your hands on.

      Delete
    2. sorry Isaac, I meant Don not you.

      Delete
    3. Isaac its true about saving early when you start noticing fowl play from the beginning..

      Save and throw away eyes.. Then when the deed is done, carry money and continue life with your children.

      Some men can be unpredictable.. I pray I turn out to be good in mY marriage.

      Because e no easy

      Delete
  8. If he returns, I am sure you will accept him back.

    If you have a strong heart like someone I know, you will damn the shame and hustle hard without telling him of your whereabouts or anyone for that matter..but u need funds. The small uber he is doing is making him feel fly.. years later when he is tired and worn out he will start telling tales of how he was abandoned. You will see an old man, no wife , no kids, they will be by themselves coz they fucked up bad when they were younger n stronger.

    These days, the worse thing you can do to yourself is to marry without having a source of income.

    They never think of the future consequences of their actions. All they think of is the next hole.
    Abeg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. These days, the worse thing you can do to yourself is to marry without having a source of income.
      This is the worst 😒

      Delete
    2. Thank you BB then the old men will start crying that their kids who are now rich abandoned dem.
      Is dat not how dey accused Funke Akindele of not attending her fathers burial? U dont know how dese men abandon dere family in dere youth and be chasing strange women.
      They now get old and with stroke and ppl will be saying the kids are heartless.

      Delete
    3. Men use your youth for something more important than sleeping around

      Delete
  9. This story is heartbreaking πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”
    All i can say is everything will get better soon

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't know if it's my sis inlaw in Enugu that sent this message oh cos this is her story .My brother in-law is the most useless man in existence .His case is any money he gets he takes care of himself alone .his kids can't match up to his look ..as in they look Haggard even me I can't allow them come close to me ..they have patches like lapa lapa ..Their dad that's my useless inlaw looks well fed ehn doing shakara in Lagos up and down .his wife nko?Story for another day .I pray God steps in soon .Stay strong mama ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you're happy to say you can't allow the kids come near because they have patches like lapa lapa. SMH.

      Delete
    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Some ppl are just mad on this blog. See comment....stay strong mama. And u cant help dem,nawa o.
      Its sad how some women waste their lives untop marriage. This poster shld be abt 30 and see how sad her life is untop man. Better to marry late and marry better man dan dis nonsense.

      Delete
    3. It might not be your sister in-law. You might be surprise to know how common this type of stories are. Nothing is new under the sun.

      Delete
  11. But Sis you already know what to do. You are already married to yourself so what the heck. You feed yourself, pay rent, pay fees etc. Is it just sex that's the problem?
    The day that man infects you with something incurable it would be too late.
    For me it's better I stay single and have PEACE of mind and my children grow up in an environment that is not toxic where they will end up being traumatized for life. Better to be a single mum and live in peace and let people talk than to open up myself to emotional torture.
    I pray God gives you to will power to do what is right for yourself and kids

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hmmmm this is so sad, I will advice you go into sales of raw food, people will definitely eat, you can start small and I believe God you will increase, if you are not a business person learn a handwork it will help, you can start from your room, don't stop praying for yourself and kids, God will come through for you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The man is yet to know what he wants truly from life. Mothers should do better. You would rather your daughter run mad in an empty and toxic marriage than leave because you want the world to know she stayed married! Poster plz leave that man for good. He will always be the father to his kids. He can always contact and see them but break free from that man who is bent on ruining his life on orgies. Sending your strength and God's guidance πŸ’•πŸ’”πŸ’•πŸ’•

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh dear, the good Lord will see you through this trying time. Just be strong

    ReplyDelete
  15. Op, you are married to yourself. The weed and evil spirits he has been gbenshing over the years have taken over his body, soul and spirit. Just avoid him as he has avoided you and the kids.

    ReplyDelete
  16. So pitiful to read your plight.
    What I get here is that from the outset, other people were defining the value of
    the relationship for you. You were told it was "a match made in heaven"
    Your mom told you "divorce is not acceptable" and that is after you've been cornered into
    the scam of it all.
    Marriage is a personal thing just like salvation. Nobody should hitch you on this ride.
    Nobody is going to come and wear that shoe with you.
    No matter how many decades you court someone, if you do not get pragmatic about preparing for
    marriage but get fixated about sex, his worth and preparing for wedding, you won't get to know that person
    truly.
    As it is dear, do the crying and praying before Jesus as he alone can direct you. He instituted marriage and knows
    the way around it all. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
  17. Keep praying they say, fight for your marriage they say, but they forget that God gave us humans free will, meaning God Himself will not change, one who is not willing to change. Poster your marriage died a long time ago! Do not feel guilty you tried all you could, it takes two to make any relationship, marriage inclusive, work. All the best for the future.

    ReplyDelete
  18. God hates divorce, not the divorcee.
    You stayed all this while, weren't you scared of HIV? Herpes?
    I pray for the courage for you to walk without looking back. Maybe you can look for affordable housing areas in your state and check to see what you can sell.
    It is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This thing called marriage ehn.. πŸ™„ Lord have mercy. Poster, just gather yourself together, you are all you've got. Since you want to move, do it & perhaps start petty trading. Don't send your children to go & hawk ooo. Jesus will fix it. πŸ™

    ReplyDelete
  20. Poster I’m just sorry you had no one to give you the necessary encouragement when needed. I’m glad you have finally decided to forge ahead. It’s okay to be scared, but by God’s mercy, you’ll pull through. From what I’ve read you seem like a strong woman.
    .
    Your husband needs deliverance and I’d advise you not to have any sexual thing to do with him till he does that. I fear his soul is damaged and sex is the easiest way you get drawn back to accepting his formal ways. If you want to survive this, I’d advise you keep your distance from him for the main time.
    Take care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, her husband's soul has been damaged! He entered the wrong hole and have kissed a cancerous mouth.

      Delete
    2. That is my fear too. Poster has to leave so as not to get caught up with the darkness he has allowed into his life. Praying she overcomes. A man who engages in orgies has opened a dangerous door. Who knows the spirits at work in those women.

      Delete
    3. My hubby is in the same boat with this man. He is in two groups on WhatsApp, all they do there is just sex. They fuck each other, go on wild parties, send nude pics and video. That is all he knows, I have talked and talked but it's like I'm talking to my self.one group is called cupids and the other RnS, come and see what married men are doing there. May God help him.

      Delete
    4. My ex was on Nigeria adult forum (NAF). The forum is just for sex hookups. I suffered in that marriage ehn am so happy I left.

      Delete
  21. This is very sad. I pray that God will show you the way forward, send help your way, and make life beautiful again for you. Please be encouraged, it is well.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Poster i pray may the Almighty make a way for you,it is well with you and yours.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Honestly... if not for society, why will this type of man be deserving of a wife in the first place. Madam, just know in your heart that you’re a single mum, can you get a teaching job when you get back to your state?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most of them just want to be answering husband and father. They will never take up the responsibility of being a husband and father. Poster, you have to pick yourself up and relocate with your kids to start over. I pray God gives you the strength to overcome. This is the cross some of us have to carry in life. Please don’t go back to him or accept him back, for the sake of your sanity and your future. When people show you who they are believe them.

      Delete
  24. This is hearbreaking! It depends on the money saved up. Mini cold room and iced block biz, Pos business with wholesale recharge card. Stay focused and be prayerful. It's going to be tough no doubt but God will see you thru. My story is similar to yours and it's been 2years with my kids ALONE and God has been faithful. Kisses to you

    ReplyDelete
  25. This is serious. I will advice you forget that marriage and try not to call or message him again. Refocus your energy on yourself and kids, give deaf ears to what people will say(it's difficult but just try). You'll be fine.

    As for survival, you can sell foodstuffs with the little cash you have. God will see you through.

    ReplyDelete
  26. What a sad story.. just be patient and have faith

    ReplyDelete
  27. All I see here is spiritual blindness. Devil 😈 have finished his life and now connected u to him so that u will be finished too.
    U need 3days MERCY PRAYER and FASTING. Don't pray for anything else but Mercy only.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Waoo! Where do you girls find all this Men that treat women this bad? Poster? it won't be easy, but you have to take a walk and block that Man from having access and influence on your kids. Please save the next generation

    ReplyDelete
  29. What a sad story... Please just be patient and have faith in God

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patience for what exactly?

      Delete
  30. Go and learn fashion designing

    ReplyDelete
  31. Can't judge you dear,the deed has been done,just focus on yourself and the kids and keep praying for him to turn a new leaf, meanwhile take very good care of yourself,look good,feel good😊

    ReplyDelete
  32. Poster, whether you like it or not, you must go to your mother, open up to her and make her understand the reason you're taking the most difficult decision.

    She will be there for her daughter no matter what and she will help you find your feet again.
    You're still very young and you must not let anybody talk you down. That man you called a husband is gone forever, he will never come back.

    Now, you will need a job and you must learn to live responsibly. Yes, you heard me, learn to live responsibly!
    Don't run after men and even if men are running after you, don't give them the green light. Just concentrate on your job, your mental health and children.
    But, you need the support of your family and friends, no matter what..

    Some men will use their hands and legs to walk into everlasting bondage. That man is in deep shit and if you continue to wait for him, he will continue to draw you back/down. Some pussy hole are not like strawberry, they are the mouths of venomous snakes.

    Please, do not carry hatred around, it will disrupt your life and success.

    The Lord will send helpers your way and will grant you strength and courage.

    Sending you love and light πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸŒΊπŸŒΈ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Some pussy holes are not strawberry. They're the mouth of venomous snakes.' I imagined it in my head and shuddered.😱😱😱

      Delete
  33. Poster I will advice you to pray and ask God, starting up smtin for a living has to do with passion , capital and location. We don't know all that,it's only God and people who knows you well can advice u on what to do. If u can sell data,if your location is sharp u can go into communication biz, pos transfer and withdrawal, light sub and decoder sub etc, u don't need too much to start and u can make small money

    ReplyDelete
  34. Poster thank God you gave birth to only two kids, please don't ever excerpt that horseband of yours back, let him keep walking, relocate and look out for what is really selling in your new location, Focus on your kids and self, that guy is a total waste of sperm, change your number and disappear From his life with your kids, the devil is seriously not through with him.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Poster mail Stella with an evidence you're the chronicler ,
    I want to give you something for your kids I would also mail stella.
    I've nothing much to say than should start making good plans for your life and trust God,
    I want you to know that God can change your life for good , your story would be different just make firm decisions concerning your life.
    God bless you darling 😘 ❤ πŸ™ ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Anon/16:03. God bless you. Poster act fast and use the money judiciously.😊😊

      Lovelace.

      Delete
    2. God bless you abundantly.

      Delete
  36. Nigerian women and suffering in marriage, relationship and every aspect of life! I'm not cut out for this suffer life I swear.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Nawa for some men πŸ™†πŸΏ‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
  38. Poster it's not your fault, you even tried for suggesting to try his fetishes which obviously he was too ashamed to tell you.so my anger lies solely at his feet!WHY WOULD A SANE HUMAN BEING CARRY HIS KINKY SELF AND MARRY A VANILLA WOMAN? DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!! PLEASE LEAVE THE MARRIAGE EXCEPT
    1)HE COMES BACK HOME AND UNRAVELS HIS TRUE SELF TO YOU.
    2)HE ACCEPTS TO KEEP YOUR UNION MONOGAMOUS.
    3)HE GENTLY INTRODUCES YOU TO WHAT MAKES HIM TICK SEXUALLY.
    4) YOU MIGHT HAVE TO UNLEARN AND RELEARN A LOT SEXUALLY,I MUST WARN YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Nawa for some men πŸ™†πŸΏ‍♀️ What a sad story. 😞

    ReplyDelete
  40. pick up your life and be determined to make it, you will not die, because of what your mum, or society will say, why did your mum not stay put in her own marriage. I see you succeeding, it will end in praise, forget about him, and do not accept him back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes to "I see you Succeeding"

      Poster you have been their for yourself all this while,so go out there and spread your wings.
      The Lord will comfort you and prosper you and console you.

      Delete
  41. So sorry you have been going through this for years now.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Ever since i started reading chronicles here, i have read few about men being treated badly in marriage by their wives.if it is 100%, 90% are women being treated like a piece of trash in their marriage by their husbands.tomorrow some men will come here and be chanting that women are bad while men are the most heartless people you can ever think of. the worse part is that they will bring you out of light and lead you into darkness in the name of marriage and abandon you.may God forgive all these men. poster may the peace of God be with you. it is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ you have said it all. They really bring you out of light into darkness and abandon you there.

      Delete
  43. Dear Poster.

    So sorry for what you have gone through. I will not talk about your marriage as that is not what you asked for.

    My advice is for you is to try to learn a skill. Since you still have a small job, see if you can make friends with someone who can teach you a skill for free. Yes, nothing goes for nothing, but there are still some people who can do that for you, depending on your relationship with them. You can offer to come help them out of weekends so you can watch and learn. Yes, you may have to stoop low so you can build a skill set. I believe doing this before relocation will help in giving you more options on the way forward.

    Starting a business in your new state of residence will require capital - do you have an idea how you will go about that? Family, savings, friends? If yes, then you should start now to research on the business you want to go into.

    If you can settle on a business that has to do with food, that will be very good as you are going to be sure of patronage. Even right now, you can make chin chin, zobo, cake, pap, etc, and drop in someone’s shop to assist you in selling, while you give the person a token for his efforts. This can even help supplement your current income.

    Suggesting exact business ideas to you is dicey because it really depends on your interests, location, your ability to network and sell your product, etc. you can start educating yourself on the use of social media. You could even learn tailoring 101 and sell bedsheets for sale, even in your current location.

    I wish you the best. Don’t be scared of moving forward, I know the future can not be tougher than your present.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. E- hugs poster. Read the above business ideas it could be helpful.
      God will see you through...remain strong for your children.

      Delete
  44. I’m a man but I don’t know how long men will continue to think they can be married and live single(I am guilty too but I am praying and hoping God helps me though mine is not cheating,it is going out and coming back late most times with my single friends).This is the genesis of most of the breakup of young marriages these days and it’s sad because the woman bears the brunt most of the time in the marriage and when she eventually leaves.Shes the one that will be termed single mother,she’s the one that myopic men run away from just because she has kids,she’s the one that will juggle work with raising kids while the man continues to enjoy his life.Men need to do better biko.Leme go and beg my wife for no reason.That woman is amazing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na wa for una! Don't just beg also turn a new leaf going forward.

      Delete
    2. Awwww
      Well im glad you're honest and willing to make amends .

      Delete
    3. Are they really enjoying their lives?
      Those things called enjoyment are often destructive

      Delete
  45. Wow don't even know what to say, sorry poster. Single mothers aren't only the singles. This is a case of a married single mother abi married single parent. When all the parental responsibility fallsn one person. Men biko do better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How will they do better when holds them accountable, society has no clear commensurate repercussions for their reckless stupidity and irresponsibility

      Families cover the fools and women are treated like trash

      Delete
  46. I'm just afraid you are not truly done with that man. You have/had already been doing everything yourself. At this point, you have to double your hustle. Look around you and find what to do in what is missing around your area. You will be fine. Ladies when you notice that what you thought isn't it, don't take in or stop at one when you can. Some men are not loyal at all.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Poster the Lord is your strength. I'd rather you use the money for relocation to start a new business. When you are buoyant enough you can now relocate.

    Please do not be tempted to take your husband back unless there is genuine repentance after all medical test have been conducted.

    May the Lord give you the wisdom and courage to carry on. Stay strong and focused.

    Lovelace

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Her safety is paramount the man is already in self destruct mode except GOD saves him

      Delete
  48. Marriage! Marriage!!....hhhhmmmmmmm

    ReplyDelete
  49. So sorry my dear. I pray that God sees you out of this situation, victorious.

    ReplyDelete
  50. All you women that treat multiple STIs in your marital home are foolish. It must be said. Your husband is playing with your life, you too you're joining him to play game. Jisike. Longsuffering soon to be dead wives.

    Madam, I suggest food business to stay afloat. If your mom won't take you back, please stay where you are until you can stand on your feet 100%. Find one or two meals you know how to make well and start from there. Advertise to your social circle, get an Instagram page, and start advertising. 20k can quickly turn to 100k if you work hard. Find some unique or hard to make food or hard to get food. In Lagos, masa and kunu always sell well, as does south south and Igbo soups. In the North, gbegiri, banga, moin moin, okpa and other southern food sells well. In the East, Grilled meats/suya is a delicacy. Find your niche, perfect it and sell. When you have money register your company and keep going.

    Good luck, God saved you

    ReplyDelete
  51. U married a demon... So sorry for all u have been tru, u need ur sanity, pls leave d marriage n go elsewhere n start life afresh, after all u have been doing things on ur own all these while

    ReplyDelete
  52. Madam do not worry as long as their is a God up there he would surely watch over you and the Kids. Please do not let those children out of your sight. Start something small even if it is chin, soon and pap they can be very lucrative. then venture into food stuff business. If you need to relocate to your mum's place I think that would be fine so she can help you watch over your kids while you are out. That Man you just wrote about is just a will not change any time soon. He needs God's Grace to be successful. DO not let him drag you down with him...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pls while praying your way to your breakthrough also pray for your kids. This their papa lifestyle no follow. May God guide you.

      Delete
  53. This is sad, but I feel you should have left a long time ago. It's not too late to start all over again. I wish you the very best that life has to offer. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  54. When someone is addicted to something, they usually have other addictions and perversions. It also comes with mental illness. Your husbands affinity for depraved behavior will soon lead him into homosexuality. He probably is gay. Undercover gay men are the most unfaithful. They first try to convince themselves with many women to prove they are straight. They eventually move on to men and stay there. He probably left you because he couldn’t pretend to be straight anymore. This is why he couldn’t introduce you to his lifestyle. Move on my dear, I know it’s hard but you will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another angle and very true.

      Delete
  55. May God direct your path as you take this great leap... All will be well!

    ReplyDelete

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