The former Actress turned Mental health expert Victoria Inyama talks about the challenges single mothers face while dating.
As a result of this, the single mother of three children advices other singles mothers to be on the alert for men who are out to deceive and render them bankrupt with false marriage promises.
“Female single parents should know that they and their children have been through so much, therefore they need to be careful with that man coming into their lives. Dear single mom, before you accept all the toasting, please know what he really wants, is it a relationship or a person to use? There are awesome guys out there who would date and marry a lady with kids, but majority of them just want to live off single mothers. They may borrow money or beg you to take out credit for them or even move in with you, please ensure that that guy has a job that can pay for his lifestyle. Don’t be fooled by his words and social media lifestyle. All na wash wash,”
“Don’t be afraid to be alone, and take good care of yourself and children. Once they cannot use you, they claim you are difficult. It is better to be difficult than stupid because if they can’t get from you, they will move on to the next victim. Moreover, if you dig deep, you will find out that they are really married and their wife is tired of funding their lifestyles
Victoria is currently going through a Divorce process from a man she tags as narcissist......
from the sunnonline
I sincerely miss this woman and Sandra Ifeoma Achum....
ReplyDeleteNo matter how hard you try to preach to them, desperation will not them see road. 🤣
ReplyDeleteHonestly... May God help us.
DeleteSomehow true @DON but that doesn't mean that she or other advocates of truth should stop. The thing is that even if it is one Single-Mum that gets it right out of the thousands. That one can replicate same truth by sharing it too just like Victoria is doing and before you know it the rate of our Single-Mum becoming preys will drastically reduce. Cos it's a cycle affecting society.
DeleteKisses to all SingleMums/Parents,I pray that God grants you all the wisdom and strength of character to navigate the waters of love and finances🥰.
#LOVE😍
Amen dear 🙏
DeleteVery true. Desperation and low self esteem,
DeleteEeyah. It is well.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteShes very right....even matured single ladies. Especially the ones doing well. They target these women because they know they are very keen to get married and many at dat age are already stable financially. So they come with the marriage tale. Some may even go ahead marry the lady then start draining her financially. They come with im a business man,drive a nice car and nice native;but that is where it ends. They are always chasing contracts and attending meetings dat head nowhere.
ReplyDeleteYou are very much correct... May God help us women
DeleteVery very correct. I remember when I was in this phase, really it wasn't easy though I made a couple of mistakes but the moment I got it right, everything changed. I met and married my hubby in six (6) months.
DeleteLadies get it right,live right,"HE" will come. "HE" not Users,Fraudsters,Time Wasters,Abusers, Narcissists,Parochials,Wackos,People Pleasers and other malfunctioning men but "HE"
Don't feed your years (Biological ratherClock,Age, Medical Status, Seeming Disadvantages etc) rather act contrary to your fears.
Keep developing your👇
Spirit
Mind
Hands
Ladies you will
all be fine..
#LOVE😍
Exactly!
DeleteSpirit of discernment O! Lord🙏
A lot of them out there
DeleteVery calculated , they sweep their prey off her feet , and she falls hopelessly .
May God deliver such women from evil.
That's where I am now. Im a very successful single lady in mid 30s. Very generous too. I'm just worried if the men I meet really love me for me. I dey really fear ooo
DeleteOnce you start worrying there’s doubt watch closely men are preys
DeleteMy dear Anon13.55 it is easy to spot dem....the first rule is to NEVER let men know how much you are truly worth. Downplay everythn;if not lots of sharks out there. There are equally responsible men in dere 30s with good jobs. Look more into those dan the ones with flashy cars and non traceable incomes.
DeleteI pray they listen, the way forward is for them love yourself.
ReplyDeleteIt is better to be stubborn and not stupid okay 👌
ReplyDelete#Word
DeleteWill they hear? In as much as we need to love and be loved back, don't be a fool in the process.
ReplyDeleteUse your head & heart
ReplyDeleteMost importantly
ReplyDeleteAsk the Holy Spirit
Yesoooo. Spirit of discernment.
DeleteAlways the best route 🙌
DeleteLadies, no matter your status do not give money to men you are not married to.
ReplyDeleteGolden rule!!👌
DeleteEven if you are married don’t give.. lend little if you have to
DeleteAll single women should stop being desperate. Shikena
ReplyDeleteLook at you.The single lady needs a companion,the kids need a man to call Daddy,free them abeg.
DeleteI have been in this situation before dude started with I like you and I want to settle down with you and any time I visit he wants to knack, The annoying part is dude couldn't hold an erection but I was cool with it cos he was serious about settling down until one night at his place the younger brother came to visit and he didn't open the door for the bro quickly and the young man kept knocking so when he opened the door he was angry at the brother but the brother replied that he thought he was with his excort and he didn't correct him. I walked out of his place and life that night, I don't like nonsense mbok.
ReplyDeleteAdvise to men; Before you marry any single lady pls do the following.
ReplyDelete1. Check the character of the lady, as some women can pretend till their foot is now in the house.
2. Check the family background of the lady,and make sure their are no red flags. Family curses/inlaw and sibling problems.
3. Make sure she is divorced and her ex-husband is taking care of her children, further investigate and ask why her marriage did not work out, as such issues may repeat itself in different ways.
Truth is that there are good single women out there but the bad ones are the majority that has spoilt market for them.
Association of bachelors in nigeria said that wahala dey inside every marriage o! It's best u get the wahala with someone that is not married than with a tokumbo.
One of my friends who married a single lady said during an argument,his wife told him that if not that my husband messed up, what will I be doing with ur silly ass.
One man's meat is another man's poison. What works for A may not work for B.
Single women shine your eyes o!
The gang gang has spoken. Peace and healing to the world.✌
smh
Deletedes conseils très épouvantables
Smh .
Loving the gang
Delete@chocolate Noir
Deleteavez-vous un meilleur conseil
@chocolate Noir
Deleteavez-vous un meilleur conseil
Put it down in english so others can understand, appalling advise indeed. You are just hissing like a cobra snake.
If u menstruate under my comment again we will all come for you.
Start by correcting yourself. Single mothers not single ladies. How on earth do you call a human being Tokunbo?
DeleteSmh @ you
DeleteN I repeat smh .
Big shame on u.
Leave Noir alone abeg! It is indeed an appalling comment.
DeleteSingle mothers are unnecessarily bowing to societal pressures. Just to become a mrs and somehow erase their "mistake", most tend to settle for anything. Having a child out of wedlock isn't a disease so please single mothers hold yourself with dignity, your children are blessings not mistakes, dont allow any man think he's doing you a favour. Most importantly, be financially independent.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need to earn a lot or be rich, but be able to afford the basic necessities for you and your child. Also train the child to manage, you might have to send him/ her to regular schools, you might not be able to give anything extra but contentment is part of home training.
There's a way you can carry yourself and manage your life that any man would know he's lucky to be able to get you not that he's covering your supposed shame and it's all down to you, if you don't value yourself no one else will.
If you don’t value your self no one else will *note to self*
DeleteKisses to you.What you wrote up here is the truth. I am a single mum, at the initial stage, it was rough and I used to cry alot, but I am very ok now. My child is one in a million and I am super proud. I carry my shoulders high and do not tolerate cunny men. Once I notice a red flag, I simply block you and delete your contact.
DeleteNdi "IGM"
ReplyDeleteI go marry you.
This word narcissist is the most abused word on social media.
ReplyDeleteOnce a lady feels she has arrived and wants to divorce her husband,
he is tagged "narcissist, domestic abuser, emotional abuser".
All the while she was struggling and being brought up by this man,
it had always been sweetie, lovey, 😏😏😏
Please find another word to define this marriage butchering hypocrisy.
I am one of the lucky single mum of three teens who has one of the " awesome guys". After a bad DV. In fact I was so afraid of men.
ReplyDeleteI have not been in any relationship for 4 years plus after separation. I decided to take a break from any companionship. I went into series of workshops and counselling.
When I was ready, I went for a Christian app, got loads of men/boys who did not tick my box. They never visited my house(I have got principles and Values), or see me in person. We only chatted severely on the phone(I was looking for someone who is patient because of my kids, love me as a perso,God fearing, not pushing on wanting to see me...etc).
I waited, some were really impatient and wanted to come see me in my home in the abroad(not even an opened environment ) .
Then God sent the most loving man(has a daughter) who loved me the way I am with my package. Far younger than my ex. And keep reminding me not all men are bad.
He treats me, my kids and his beautiful daughter like we are the only people Earth. Love is sweet when you find the right person who is your friend.
I work(very independent), but I hard spend my money this days. We are planning on holiday after Corona pandemic with the kids. That will give me the opportunity to see his mum physically.
The funny thing is that, he never told me he has an healthcare company when we were chatting away. Only says he is an health care professional, which I am too.
May God let our Love continue to grow bigger than ever before.
To all the single mums out there, love will find you. And May God give the strength to continue to care for your children🙏🏾. I remember when my ex use to tell me that, "no man will ever come close to me again and I am 2nd hand". That is a lie baby girl!..from the pit of hell. Guess what? I found a man who loved me like never before, begging me to marry him (i keep rejecting it, he said he will wait until I a ready).
Why waiting pretty mums, get busy, look after your beautiful selves and kids, be independent. Be happy, don't grow grey hair thinking about one ex that do not know your value.
There are men out there who will cherish and adore you.
Remember the best revenge is to be successful!...🤗
Sorry I am just ranting away and did not proofread. I will send my story someday to Stella.
SAY NO TO DOMESTIC ABUSE/VIOLENCE!!!
I am happy for you and I saw Amen to your prayer.
DeleteMay this relationship that gives you peace and happiness stand the test of time.
I am happy for you
DeleteMay your happiness never be cut short
😘😘😘
Delete❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💋💋💋💋
DeleteA big AMEN to everyone! and many thanks...🤗 God bless you all.
Delete❤❤❤❤❤
DeleteYour joy is permanent in Jesus name. Amen. May God perfect all that concerns you
Delete😘😘😘😘
DeleteAm a single mum with built up sense. All i want to marry you guys I've dated all jumped out the window cos i wont give dem or borrow dem money. Me sef na badass momma.
ReplyDeleteThis woman
ReplyDeleteDoes she have a life
Outside social media
Poor thing
If Instagram goes down for a week
She'll go mad. Instagram is her life.
Very lonely attention seeking somebody