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STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

MARRIED TO A USELESS IRRESPONSIBLE MAN

Dear Stella and bvs, I've been reading the trending divorce stories and decided to share my own..


I met this guy December 2014 he was about 35 and I was 20s, and by Feb 14 2015, he proposed to me and told me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, to say I was shocked was an understatement, but I decided to give him a trial as he was really cool(they all are)


Fast forward to early 2016, we did our introduction, and preparations was in top gear for our marriage plans, that was when I got to know that he didn't have any savings in his account despite the fact that he earns a good salary, but when we met he told me he has over a million naira, that he's ready for marriage.


I was really shocked as to what he used his savings for, he lied that he used it in paying his siblings school fees, which I later found out to be lies... I should have broken up with him there but I continued the relationship..


Let me also state that at this point we were already living together,(I got the house and we joined money to pay) I later got to find out from his cousin that he wasn't a graduate that he claimed to be, (he's using a fake certificate to work).. I cried and cried but I couldn't walk away as I was already pregnant, so marriage plans was put on hold, till after I deliver. I later lost the pregnancy...


This guy was a smooth talker, I caught him so many times chatting with my friends on social media, he adds my female Facebook friends up to toast them, he even goes as far as stealing their numbers from my phone to chat with them, he's always in communication with his ex gfs, and he discusses me with them, he never posted our wedding pictures, he tells the babes he's not yet married but has a child..


There were a 1001 red flags I saw, I wanted to move out several times but people kept telling me that the angel I know is better... We had a fight sometimes in 2017 because I refused him s#x, he threw me out of his house around 2a.m, and I was pregnant the 2nd time.. I had to sleep in the neighbors house till the next day, I came and packed my stuffs to a friend's place...


He called everyone to plead on his behalf, that he was going to do me right by going to pay my dowry.. My parents cried and begged me to come home that i won't be the first person to get pregnant out of wedlock that I shouldn't go back to him, but I guess they say love is blind... I went back, but I lost the pregnancy.


There's no kind of names he hasn't called me, from witch to ashawo, he even called me barren that I used several abortion to destroy my womb.. He refused me doing anything, if he finds out that I have little money in my account, he'll make sure he collect everything before he rest..


Any little issue we have, he'll call up my family and anyone that knows me to say all manner of terrible things to them about me, at a point my dad started believing him, but my mom will tell him that I carried this girl for 9 months and I don't know her with such character.


My people refused giving him the list for traditional marriage because they didn't want me to marry him, that the marriage won't last, but I refused to listen as a girl in love, when they saw that I was hell bent on marrying this guy, they gave him date for early 2018 for tm..


Some week after the traditional marriage we left the east back to our base, I didn't even know that I was already pregnant, in the vehicle I was spitting and throwing up anything I eat, it was the guy beside me that was helping me, what my horseband will tell me is that I should stop disgracing him, that I am not the first person to be pregnant.. I died that day, and was filled with so much regret and the hatred for him resurfaced..


We got back to base and he got transferred to another state to work, that was where the marriage began to crumble because he practically abandoned me and due to my high risk pregnancy, I had to move in with my parents. He only came to visit once through out didn't even stay up to 4hr, I cried and cried but my mom told me to be strong for my baby and think less due to my HBP.


Fast forward to when my pregnancy was breached and I was to be operated on, he came but instead of staying back to find out what's going on, he was in a drinking joint with his friends drinking and smoking it took a call from the Dr to come and sign form before he came as my elder brother was already on his way, As God will have it, he brought shame to my enemies and I delivered my baby prematurely, every other women in the ward their hubby was around to support their wife's, but my own was in a beer palor declaring drinks for people.. 

After she got her baby weight back we where discharged, after 3 months I dusted my cert to go look for a job, because during my pregnancy anytime we had little issue he always shut me out and I end up borrowing money to buy drugs or go for antenatal clinics, so I told myself I couldn't live like that..


He refused me getting a job and it caused a big issue, but we settled it and he promised when baby gets to 1yr, he'll open a shop for me to sell baby things that he doesn't want his wife working for anyone..
Meanwhile he tells his own people that I've refused to do anything to support him, that I am lazy and every burden is on him..


After I gave birth, for a whole year, he only came 3times, We had a big fight last year that made me makeup my mind that this marriage filled with lies, cheating, etc was dead on arrival, he came around for holiday and was spending money on his friends dashing people here and there, but he refused to buy anything for us at home, his mom even called from the village crying of hunger..



So that night I was trying to talk to him about how he neglected his parents in the village and doing 'oyeoma cy' in the city, he flared up and was shouting that I shouldn't tell him how to spend his money, he packed his clothes into his car and zoomed off.. 

That was the last I heard from he, I sent text called he never responded so I ignored him thinking when he calms down he will come back, but he went cold on us even refused to attend his own baby's 1year birthday..


I went through his phone one night, I discovered he chats and calls his ex that refused to marry him before because he didn't have money, all the romantic text I usually send to him, he edits it and send to his babes, but tells me he's too busy to reply.. He once told me that he married me out of pity..


This guy has pushed me into depression and he keeps using my situation to make mockery of me, I've been scared of people making mockery of my failed marriage, but lately I've been thinking about what to do to him to make him feel pain, I think it's high time I take the bold step by WALKING AWAY before I kill person pikin and go to prison for nothing..


Please ladies learn from my mistakes, I married a very useless irresponsible man and always learn to listen to your parents when they vehemently kick against your suitor.

*The Marriage was Dead on arrival....