Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Monday, July 20, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmmmmm......







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

A MARRIAGE FULL OF HICCUPS


Good day Stella,


As I write this I'm pained. Please forgive the long read. Let me give a bit of background.


My wife is a wonderful person... when she wants to be. But her main problem is she has anger issues. She can do or say anything when she is angry. I started noticing it before we got married. We courted for 1 year.


She would have tantrums at the most trivial things. There was one day she stayed over at my flat. She said she wanted to eat fast food for dinner. Mind you, this was when we were gathering money for our wedding and besides, there was food at home. I jokingly told her it's better we manage what is at home o. My wife's mood immediately changed. She started raising her voice at me. I was shocked. Probably because this was the first time I would refuse her anything. Before you know it she threatened to leave the house at 12 midnight. To go where? Because of fast food? It took the intervention of her father to calm her down. But I was shaken by this experience.


I still went ahead with the marriage because I said to myself no one is perfect. I have my own flaws. I can be temperamental as well, laid back. I had dated several ladies in the past. In all these I have never met anyone as honest and loyal as my wife. In my years of knowing her, she has never lied once. This was really important to me because everyone around me seemed to end up betraying me. She always has my back. And I tried to have hers too. But her anger is a problem.


When she gets into it, she can nag for hours. Of everything I asked God was not to give me a nagging wife. She would nag me at every opportunity, blame me for not being where she supposed to be in life. This is a lady whom i gifted over 1500 dollars so she can start clothing business. When the business couldn't sustain she says she prefers to work. I used my connections to get her a job. Yet she says she would have been better off not knowing me. And regrets marrying me.


We have a baby girl and during the pregnancy, my wife maintains I never did anything for her and that I maltreated her. Mind you when she started her maternity leave I used to leave my office during my break just to go home to switch on the generator for her. I have once roamed the streets at night looking for moin moin because that was her craving. Yet she says I did nothing for her.


The nagging became worse after her delivery. She stops at nothing to make me feel bad. She has once referenced my dead parents saying they didnt train me well. At times I will arrive home.and sit outside in the car because I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I'm around her. It was during this time I made a grave mistake.


I am not handsome by any means but I find women seek my attention. There was this friend of mine who was going through a divorce and I chose to support him emotionally. He decided to have a party to celebrate his new bachelorhood. Of course I went. And there were women in abundance. Many of them openly wanted my contact in spite of the fact that I was visibly wearing my wedding band.


Did I mention I grew up in a polygamous setting, and after experiencing the hatred in my father's house I vowed never to cheat on my wife. But at this time I was emotionally vulnerable. My wife had just nagged me about something meaningless as usual. And I met this lady there and we exchanged contacts. I started exchanging messages with her and at some point it got erotic. We had scheduled a day and time for us to meet to do the do, but on the scheduled day, I just couldn't do it.


I remembered my father and I asked myself if this was how he started. (my dad died at 50 years from hypertension related issues). I immediately broke things off with the lady. I transferred some money to her for her "inconvenience".


Unfortunately for me, my wife saw the messages I sent her on my phone. Being inexperienced in the art of cheating, I forgot to delete the harmful evidence. That day was the worse day of my life. My wife cried and when I saw what my actions did to her emotionally, I vowed never to try such again. We later reconciled after I begged and cried my eyes out.


The problem now is the nagging and suspicion together is making me a shadow of myself. Everytime we have a disagreement she always refers to the cheating incident. (She assumes I slept with her in spite of the fact that I showed her evidence I didn't). I am afraid that the toxic situation at home will consume us both. During the lockdown, she works from home while I go to work. She has calculated the exact time it takes for me to get home and if I am late, i am met with an angry wife and an unpeaceful home.


This situation is starting to take its toll on me. I have shouted, I have cried. I have talked calmly with her, yet she wont change. And now with my indiscretion, it has only become worse. I know I am a bit soft at heart and I have always found a way to make it work to my advantage until now.


What do i do Stella and bvs? I'm slowly losing it.




*You sound like the woman in the Marriage....The Foundation was wrong from the onset.....
Please Marriage is not by force and this ind of toxic situation should not happen.if the situation does not improve,then i suggest that you both separate for sometime...just pack your bags and go somewhere else but keep the communication lines open and see if healing will take place.

161 comments:

  1. Why don't you forward what you just wrote to her, so she can see how truly it is affecting you. You can also choose to see a marriage counselor. Also do not forget to take it to God in prayers cos Prayers work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If some 'handsome' men claim to be handsome and this poster admits to be ugly.
      Na yim be say odiegwu

      Delete
    2. Eyah see me feeling for the poster here.
      You sound like a good man. Am very sorry about wat u seem to be going thru. Reason make we shine our eyes before we jump. I think you should follow stella advice. Dnt let anyone! I mean anyone make you unhappy. Dnt get to the point that depression set in. If u cnt take it! Rather than killing each other. Abeg waka and have your peace of mind sir. Your sanity is very important. Pls.

      God bless you.

      Delete
    3. I feel so sorry for you. I can imagine how life in the house will be like. It is possible your wife is on this blog, madam please take redress if you are reading this and turn a new leave.

      Characters like this are difficult to change but with conscious effort and prayers she can change.

      On this one I totally agree with stella's advise, wake her up in the middle of the night and have a heart to heart talk with her make her understand that if she doesn't make effort to turn a new leave then you have no option but to be separated from her. She might still turn the pet talk into another fight so please be careful make them no use you practice butcher.

      May God help you and restore peace to your household.

      Delete
    4. Wow! Like really? This is the 1st time I would read a Chronicle and had to double-check if this was my husband narrative.
      Stella, it's so funny to me that I'm laughing hysterically.
      Baby is this you????
      Sorry poster, I dont have an advice. Let me also read and learn

      Delete
    5. @poster, my opinion? If she nags, you nag back. If she shouts, you tune your own shouting to 110%. When her madness starts, you remove cloth and begin to swear. Show her say she be learner where your werey dey. I bet you, both of you can't be mad in that marriage. One party go adjust and begin behave. Refuse to be the party that will do the adjusting. You'll both be fine

      Delete
    6. The fear of a woman.

      Delete
    7. Poster, look for a way you can send this to her to read.

      She should sit up and nurture her marriage to last forever.

      Delete
    8. Honestly, your wife sounds like a narcissist.... she's obviously manipulative... and the bible says something about manipulative people...

      I honestly don't think someone who is "LOYAL" and is your RIDE OR DIE will put their significant other through this torture.

      I think you should
      1. take a break and leave for a while.
      2. Go radio silent on her
      3. Still fulfill your financial duties as a husband
      4. And most importantly, PRAY FOR HER & YOUR MARRIAGE... She probably has some unresolved childhood issues... Like you said... no one is perfect

      Delete
    9. Poster you already know the problem. You said your wife has anger issues. This means she needs to go for anger management. Maybe you can talk to her and arrange this with a therapist. Also both of you need to sit with said therapist for counsel on the best way to move forward. I am not sure how you both are spiritually, I would have also suggested spiritual marriage counseling, eg your pastor's wife can talk to her, pastor to you, then they both counsel and pray with you together. Also pray for your wife and your marriage. Don't let the devil tempt you to destroy what you have. You both can make it work. All the best poster and looking forward to your testimony.

      Delete
    10. Can we read madams own side of the story before judging her???

      Delete
    11. Until we read her side we still have to say something nau......

      Delete
    12. if prayers works Nigeria would have been heaven on earth

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. This chronicle just got me so emotional. I feel for the man, I feel for the woman and I feel for the situation they both are going through.

      I have noticed I have a gift of diffusing tension in my marriage and it come to me effortlessly and I thank God I have this effect on my husband and he too knows how to calm me in an instant when I am becoming unbecoming.

      Poster, both of you need a vaccation together without your children. See a therapist while at it. Just one week of feeling single and dating again and a councillor to help you work out your tension. Praying together in each other's arms works like magic for my husband and I. Try it .

      Good luckπŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”

      Delete
    2. I was just about saying this!

      Marriage has taken its toll on both of you!

      I sense postnatal depression from your wife and you both need a vacation! Away from all the busy life and kids.

      Just maybe you'll reconnect.

      Also see a good therapist

      Delete
  3. I don't even know what to say. You both need your sanity if you want this union to work, and as it looks you are already losing it. Remember the old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder"?? You should try being apart for a while. How about counselling?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's that absence she needs for her to review all her actions.. And poster, put it at back of your mind.. The absence will not be easy but you want result and it's for a good cause!!! Don't spoil it and come here with ngbati ngbati, I will leave your back oh 😏😏

      Delete
    2. Poster, you're a good fit and honest...

      I think you have indulged her more than enough. Give her space, stop explaining your self. Ignore her whenever she starts nagging or complaining. Don't even bother to explain yourself.

      Keep your self. You need your peace and sanity. Let her be wondering what's going on??

      She needs to release the effect of her nagging on you, health and marriage...

      Press ignore button on her...

      Delete
  4. It's well sir. Waiting to read comment from others.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are too soft oga, man up already. You are good man, others would have gone ahead to sleep with her.
    Since she doesn't give you peace, move out of the house for her and get focused on your job so you can provide for them. You need peace and happiness so you don't fall into depression. You nor strong reach, I for ay make you marry join her maybe she go calm don then.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This your last advice ehπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    2. Marry join keh? Did you read that he comes from a polygamous family?

      Good husband that young women are fasting day and night for, this one has it and foolishness will not let her keep it until them 'legalize' him from her she will start crying.

      I am really vexed. Young couple that should be enjoying their marriage the mumu wife will think she is being feminist. She will learn the hard way.

      Delete
    3. Anon 15:08 πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ please calm down

      Delete
  6. Sigh... i got mentally and emotionally exhausted from reading your Chronicle. I sincerely pray for God to heal your home poster, and to touch your wife's heart since no man can't change any man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow! The kind of man every woman would pray for.. It is well with u oga
      God will give u peace in ur home

      Delete
    2. Seriously, she is a nighmare.

      Oga you are such a softie, why do softie like your kind like these sort of women?

      No need to tell you to talk to her because I am sure you have, can't you report to her parents or anyone she looks up to?

      Anger is bad abeg

      Delete
    3. Poster all I can say is May God help you and open your wife’s heart to make a positive change. I felt emotionally drained reading your story. Especially the part you said, you got home and sat in the car. Everyday after work people can’t wait to get home. While you dread entering your own house. This is sad. Your wife is taking your kind and good nature for granted. She is well aware you are a good man that is why she is behaving the way she is. I pray God open’s her eyes to change for the better

      Delete
  7. Aww Poster You seem very sincere..I suggest you guys see a therapist and she needs to work on her anger issues..Its not something to be proud of all..I really commend your efforts but please give it one more try..I believe she has someone in her life that she fears or have great respect for..Share with this person so this issue can be resolved..Please don't allow this affect your health or happiness though I know its tough but please just give it one more try..She is not beyond redemption I believe a miracle will happen..All the best...

    ReplyDelete
  8. See how oga painted his wife bad!..
    I'm sure if we hear from your wife,it would be another ball game!..
    No woman would trust you again after finding out you cheated whether you had sex or not,oga you cheated on your wife!!..
    Instead of you to go home and make things right with her by building the trust she once had for you,you are here crying foul and sending stupid chronicles...
    Mtcheeww I know your type!...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. your own no dey kuku count. One sided opinion always like a walking crab.

      Delete
    2. He never deny his faults. That's where forgiveness comes in biko. If she no Marry make she waka na. No be do or die affair.

      Delete
    3. If the chronicle is from a woman. You will support and believe her story...

      Delete
    4. Poster's wife if your husband cheated, you caught him and he acknowledged that he cheaych on you. You both cried and forgive each other you shouldn't use it against him anymore.

      Once you forget a person of their offence, please never use it against them anymore. If you cannot forgive and forget then just walk away and let them be.

      Poster send her this link for her read and amend her ways else she will end her marriage so fast or drive you into the arms of another woman. Please try to win her trust over again.

      Delete
  9. Ah poster so sorry.
    No offense but there’s no positive thing about this lady you married. Those qualities you said she exhibited are something she should exhibit as a girlfriend. Loyalty and honesty. You both owe it to each other to be that.
    The problem with your wife is that she isn’t understanding at all. She lacks it and may I add she Dsnt have human sympathy too.
    Mehn this is why you have to know how emotionally intelligent your partner is before going out. One year is enough to date and marry but I feel you overlooked lots of things. I don’t even know what to tell you except to try talking to someone she actually fears about this. Cause I don’t think she has respect for you anymore and it would be hard to talk to her yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ypu nor guy at all. See as you let woman dey mess you up anyhow. Move out of that house make she nor drive you crazy. Get yourself a hot chic you will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chai. Na this one you give to oga. You bad ganni

      Delete
    2. Chai. Na this one you give to oga. You bad ganni

      Delete
    3. Oga don't listen to this anon biko, do not complicate your life.

      Delete
  11. Chai this one is serious o. I suggest you both give each other break for a while..Nagging, complaints etc can make an individual lose it totally. Peace of mind is important abeg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ€”πŸ€”, a break might just reset her brain. I feel she is taking advantage of her husband.

      Delete
  12. This situation is beyond both of you. You need counseling. Discuss it with her and save what your home.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Poster, you said you have shouted, cried your eyes out, spoken to her with love and calmness, do you know that you are missing the most important thing you're supposed to do for her and with her?

    Yes, you have missed that part where you're supposed to take it to God in Prayers. Study the word of God Almighty with her, send her Godly messages and romantic messages too.

    Support prayers with therapy. Yes, she also need to see a therapist because, there's something She's hiding.

    If after you have done all these, her heart still remain stony and harden, you can then agree to separate for a while just to see how things go.

    Please, do not fight her and do not nag while she's nagging. If you know you can no longer stand the insults, go for a walk. Do not stand while she's talking to you, to avoid being agitated.

    The Lord is your strength and may He restore peace, love and harmony in your home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Martins Aboy, sorry Martins Aman, No sorry pls Martins Afather.. nice one! lol

      Delete
    2. @ Jules not Martins Aboy but Ms.A..

      1000 likesπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

      Delete
    3. Poster read Ms. A's advice and get to work immediately. Nice one Ms. AπŸ‘Œ

      Delete
  14. Let me read comments but oga you have to put your big boy pantson and put your foot down

    ReplyDelete
  15. Mbanu....the two of you needs to go for counseling...by an experienced Catholic priest...yes a Catholic priest needs to counsel both of you individually, then together

    ReplyDelete
  16. She knows you're soft and using it against you. I hope she knows that every rubber has elasticity limit. Ignore her. Keep ignoring her. Continue to ignore her. The effect of ignoring her might make her go ballistic but keep keeping your distance each time she starts.

    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes .. ignoring her will make her ask herself questions and find solution by herself...

      Delete
  17. It's either she is highly possessed with demons or she has mental health issues like bipolar. fnd out which and try to help, if not end that prison you call marriage. You need to man up and be firm pls, enuf of this gentility.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is not marriage at all. You guys should try and work things out before it gets to its worst. Try see a marriage counselor and if things seems not to beat better, then separation is inevitable.

    Don't go and have high blood pressure just cos you're married. Life is already difficult, don't make it more complicated by staying where you're not happy.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oga;you made a mistake with what you did with the said Lady from the party,own up to it and keep apologizing to her whenever she brings it up..
    She is your wife and you are supposed to win her trust plus protect her emotionally and mentally..

    She is feeling a bit insecure and you have to erase all doubt cos this error came from you..

    When she is nagging;Just keep quiet,listen to her(even if she isnt making sense to you) and stare at her eyes till she says "is it not you in talking to?"
    Then tell her you are hearing her and simply say "im very sorry,it's okay"..

    When she is calm;you can explain and she would listen to you at that point;and not when she is nagging or angry...

    Also try using simple things like WhatsApp video call to clear her doubt at all point..
    Call her at intervals via video call;infact when she misses your call,feel very bad that she will see that you aren't happy with it..

    Even in traffic or wherever you are,just beep in via video call and make her see your background so she will be sure you are on your way home and not with another woman..

    With time she will be the one complaining that you are calling too much and will gradually trust you again..

    Don't argue with your wife Oga;it's not easy to pour water only once on your head in a month or more..πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

    @MARTINS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You need a bottle of your favorite drink for this comment.

      Delete
    2. @martins I hope this is sarcasm

      Delete
    3. You are not attacking the main issue here. She has ANGER problem.

      Delete
    4. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ₯‚
      Martin, up you. More wisdom.

      Don't leave me ❤️

      Delete
    5. With all due respect dear guru Martins but for how long is that man going to continue living with her nags??
      Is he going to spend the rest of his life explaining himself and apologizing to his wife??
      Why should it always be him who would understand, forgive and apologize?? I'm sorry but a married man is supposed to come home to a happy and cheerful woman. She even disrespects him to the point of refaring to his late parents on how they didn't raise him well?? I can't live with such a man and i wouldn't want any man i know and love to live with such a woman.
      She has a very nasty attitude andtthe man shouldn't pay the price of being a good husband with him dieing.

      Delete
    6. Martins,
      Thank God you married a good wife. You won't understand what this man is going through.
      Did you ever date a nagging lady during your bachelor's days? I don't think so.
      Like I said, thank God for your married life.
      If poster follow this your advice, it is either he die of HBP, commit suicide or his wife will kill him.



      Poster, you have only two options:
      1: Stand up and be a man. OR
      2: Divorce her.
      Choose wisely.

      Delete
    7. I don’t agree with you Martin, people like his wife would not stop with the nagging, will he now walk on egg shells for the rest of his life because of a single mistake? Dear poster tell your wife how you feel and ask her if she sincerely wants to continue with the marriage, if she still wants to continue then I suggest you go back to church and renew your vows and start on a clean slate, tell her that everything is new now and she should not bring up what happened in the past, I see you love your wife more than she loves you and she knows this and is taking you for granted, she needs to know that there are a lot of horrible men out there and appreciate you more, introduce her to this blog so she can read Chronicles and know that God blesses her with a good man.

      Delete
    8. Mr Martins, your last paragraph thoughπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    9. For how long will he keep doing video calls to price a stupid point? The woman has anger issues and that's the problem. For how long Wil he keep keeping quiet?

      Delete
    10. hope Martins is being sarcastic here, Abi no be the same matter we read here so?

      Delete
  20. You have never refused your wife anything before, imagine that statement. I know you will do same to your kids and that be a very bad thing.
    You don't give people everything they requested for, even if you can afford it 100 times.
    You're doing this like this to show love, but bro, it's a sign of weakness.
    Your wife know you're a soft person, a man who can't stand firm and put his feet down, that's what got you here.
    You walked into this bull shit with your eyes and brain opened all in the name of " I love my wife ".
    It's a two way things, sit her down for the last time and both of you should try and straighten things up and you learn to be the man of the house or you both go your seperate ways.
    Your wife knows your weakness and she's using it against you.
    She's manipulative.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See don.. There's nothing like showing too much love! Nahhhh

      The wife just needs to start seeing things from another perspective rather than hers and start being considerate..

      There's always a better way to teach and learn from each other in marriage. Marriage isn't a relationship and just because all these is currently happening shouldn't mean marriage love should end.

      Delete
    2. Too much sense from you don. The man is a weakling. Very manipulative woman. Oga better stand up and take charge.

      Delete
    3. Don, in marriage everyone has to give their 100% for it to work because is a life time project. Their human differences and flaws should be the only challenge they are dealing with, which eventually will be part of their lifes for good.

      Delete
  21. Both of you should go and see a good marriage counsellor. You need to work on yourselves. One time advise won't resolve this.

    ReplyDelete
  22. It's obvious you love the woman more and she is capitalising on it. Have a te a tete with her tabling your emotions and concerns, caution her you might be tempted to live the union if she doesn't change. If she refuse to change, you might give her some gap and watch her

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly my dear.
      The woman knows that her husband is a very nice and cultured person, She also knows that the man's love is far more greater than her, clearly the reasons she's abusing it and killing him softly.

      Delete
  23. 3Amigos Bread @6 Okesalu St, Ikotun. 0813851632820 July 2020 at 15:21

    Stella, I do know that everyone is entitled to their opinion but telling him that he sounds like the woman in the marriage comes across as if being emotional as a man is a bad thing. In my opinion, there has to be some vulnerability in both partners in a relationship.

    Poster, as you pray seriously about the situation, you need to have a deep conversation with your wife. Let her know that your marriage is on the brink of break up with the way things are going and ask her if that’s what she will prefer. Since she’s an honest person like you mentioned, y’all need to have an honest conversation where you both are vulnerable and lay your cards on the table. Let her know the things she does that you don’t like and you listen to her concerns too. Y’all should also get into therapy if possible.

    Issues do arise in marriage at times. Sometimes, those issues can be resolved and some issues may result in the couple going their separate ways. In your case, it’s becoming toxic but I feel like it can still be saved if y’all are honest with each about what the end result will be if y’all don’t behave and work towards making your marriage work. Marriage takes the Grace of God mehn...whew.

    ReplyDelete
  24. This Chronicle is just an example of the BEP question Stella asked yesterday,she needs to see a doctor or councilor she needs help

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's no way the woman is mentally ok, it's not possible.

      Delete
  25. Hmmm!!
    You are trying, staying with an almost mad woman under the same roof?? How do you breath?
    So you mean that after all the daily hustle and stress, you can't come back to your home to calmness, happiness, relaxation and love?? I personally can't deal, God forbid.

    Well just try and sit her down, and talk to her. Maybe take her to you guys favorite hang out place when you were still dating, reminisce on the good old days, renew your promises to her and talk to her about how her attitude is messing up your relationship with her, tell her to change. Watch her for some time, If she doesn't change, then devorce her for your peace of mind and sanity. Plus you said your dad died at the age of 50,do you want to die even much younger than him??
    My dear do the needful before it's too late. In this life that you came to live, your happiness, peace of mind and sanity comes first!! Any other thing follows.

    While you were dating her, she revealed her nasty nagging ungrateful and selfish personality to you, but you payed no mind. Obviously she had good traits too but her flaws are much more bigger than her good side, in fact, her flaws are the type any sane peace loving person wouldn't want to live with.
    Dont die young because of a nagging, inconsiderate and selfish woman, Your life and happiness FIRST bro!! Good luck,
    ❤️❤️.
    Dear men, always learn to be the man in your relationships/marriage, This chronicle is a clear reason.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Woh, wahala o gbodo poju ninu aye eda o.. Give her space for sometime, maybe months sef and let her know why, her head will work fine trust me. And i no talk say make you go cheat o.. But do plenty shakara for her.. Pretend not to be affected by whatever drama or tears she sheds! In a month or two.. She will reset! Remember while doing all this call once a while (not everyday so you won't be giving her attention by mistake πŸ˜‚πŸ€£) to ask about your child and send monthly income like you normally do. God will bring peace to your marriage man, God will make it work again. This is a definition of it takes two to tango, it's your time to make some hard decisions to bring back happiness to your marriage.



    Note: No go cheat o and say na devil.. If she swear for you e go catch you o if you cheat her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See you!! My sister/brother bet, bet with me on the TRUTH that the woman will accuse him of moving in with another woman even when it's clear enough that the poster is living in the CHURCH or a FAMILY house.
      You don't know psychopaths and nagging people, you just don't know them, it's either she changes or he MOVESSSS!! Period.
      He shouldn't die because of an ingrate.

      Delete
    2. Good one Tade! The woman is loco

      Delete
    3. Now you have advised him abi ? So it's his job to bring happiness back into the house right ?
      Was he the one that made the happiness disappeared ?

      Someone is not happy in his home, you're telling him to find a way to bring happiness back. How will he give what he doesn't have ?

      Delete
    4. @ Chisom,why do you comment like you Know it all? You calling the poster's wife a psychopath depicts the type of woman you are..gosh!!! Do you even know if the wife is going through post partum depression or something related to it but you just concluded that she is a psychopath. Be mindful of how you comment young lady and don't
      make the poster who is already down start seeing his wife like a mentally deranged woman. Remember you will also get married someday. I will advice you don't come for me because I only gave an harmless advice and if you choose to,then it's your lose🀷

      Delete
    5. @Don,one way or the other he made his own mistakes too.. See when we ask the wife too now, she will have something to say! I have realized that when arguments happens etc.. Both parties are contributors! The wife is just alaseju ni and her need to open.. Let him do what he needs to do to get his marriage in order o. He shouldn't give up

      Delete
    6. And again @don.. It works both ways, it's not one person's job to bring happiness to the marriage, it's both their job!!!

      Delete
  27. Both of you need space and time to cool off. Nagging is your wife's bad habit and not until she realizes it herself and determine to change,nothing can change her. However you are going to do it,separate for a while since discussing it and trying to calm her hasn't worked. By staying apart,you might both discover where you are getting it wrong and how best to make things work. If this is not an option for you,then ask people she listens to to help talk to her. Also how best do you avoid doing things that makes her nag. In all,staying in a toxic environment not to talk of a toxic marriage is not healthy for your spirit soul and body,that is the both of you

    ReplyDelete
  28. Get her parents or any other person she respects or listens to talk to her. They should let her know what her attitude and nagging is doing to your marriage. That you're even willing to separate from her for your sanity.. It might help her reconsider and change.

    Goodluck

    ReplyDelete
  29. No woman will believe you did not cheat,but her own is too much,tell her you need some space, you guys should separate for a while and see how it goes

    ReplyDelete
  30. Awwww....calm down. Please don't leave her. Please sit her down and have a heart to heart. You betrayed her trust and trust takes time to be built back. Truth is, she may never trust you again but you have to keep fighting for it. It's one of the disadvantages of indiscretion. It destroys trust.
    As to anger issues, if talking to her doesn't work, you can seek counseling.
    Having a relationship with God definitely too helps, for both of you. Because you'll be accountable to the Holy Spirit and He can help with temperament issues.
    Also, Martins gave some good advice. You can try those too. Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  31. She may be going through post partum depression. Learn to watch movies and let her know you may divorce her if she continues this way. Send this link to her.

    ReplyDelete
  32. You made a very big mistake marrying a woman who nags, since you can't stand nagging from then on set, it's either you separate for sometime if things get better good if it doesn't just get ready to be divorced, and know it that even the divorce process will be Stresful with such a lady.
    The earlier the better for you because one of you will stab the other party soon and this is fact!!!

    Poster call me ☎

    ReplyDelete
  33. You should both seek counseling. Not from the church but a certified counselor. Communication is also a big problem in your marriage. There's a reason your wife is nagging and she should also know the effects it has on you. Maybe her own mum was a nag too and she's used to that kind of environment growing up. Don't seperate. Both of you should invest in counseling/therapy

    ReplyDelete
  34. From your right up, you seem to be a very pleasant fellow and you really want your marriage to work. I wish you could show your wife this thread just so she could read your story and all the comments. She has a big role to play in ensuring PEACE in your home, the nagging has to stop or reduced to a minimal level. No be everything wey eye see e must react.. Make she no go get HBP!
    And please, keep trying to help her. Do all you can to ensure you get back that TRUST. If you're coming home late for any reason, let her know. Video call her if possible. Allow her take your calls if possible just to gain that trust again. If you password your phone before, remove it. Just be as plain as possible. And if she continues nagging, go to her, hug her tight, begin to kiss her, show her love when she's very angry, caress her boobs as she dey vex, she go calm down...
    When she realises that the nagging isn't affecting you, she will stop gradually. No marriage is without hiccups, we just learn to develop new strategies to make it work. May God see you guyz through..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He wants his marraige to work, hopefully she won't nag him to death if he shows her this thread

      Delete
  35. This marriage seems too toxic already. You both need therapy. Check for options. Two people who love eachother can continue this way nor keep creating a toxic environment. It seems your wife thinks she did you a favor by marrying you and that is really a wrong mindset.
    I pray you both heal and don't end up in divorce

    ReplyDelete
  36. Dear poster, please speak with her. One day while she nags keep quite and record everything she's saying then on a good day, let her listen to the audio.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I don’t like how Stella talks sometimes abeg.say person be gentleman mean say he be mumu?my friend the poster,I have been in your shoes but the day I told my wife I will leave if she doesn’t stop frustrating me,she changed.sometimes all you need to do is make them understand that your sanity is important to you.Sit her down and tell her that if she doesn’t change you will leave,it’s simple.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam πŸ’―

      Delete
    2. Thank you oh.. That's exactly what I'm saying, this poster actually needs to put in action in his own and let her know why he left the house for her.. Shebi na because say poster dey come house, na why she dey prepare for fight everyday!! Make she dey fight wall na

      Woh, her head go correct sharp sharp

      Delete
    3. This guy's weak, that's the truth.

      Delete
    4. Poster don't mind @don o, Wahala don ti poju .. You are not weak at all! Only a real man can do what you are doing right now (finding a solution) and not joining the bandwagon of the thinking process of some men these days. Thank you

      Delete
  38. This is the case of a melancholy wife married to a phlegmatic husband. She is irritated by your sluggishness. She may be depressed but should realise that she needs to control herself. Your wife needs spiritual counseling on how to study the word and meditate each time this "irritation comes up". U also need to man a bit and help your family move ahead. You both need a counselor to work u through your temperaments and help u understand each other as well as manage your weaknesses. It may not be so easy cos the two temperaments are not a very good match but everything is possible with God.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The man na real Phlegmatic. If na Choleric the wife go hear oba.

      Delete
    2. Not nonsense

      Delete
  39. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Dont move out ooo
    Thats what she would use against you as a cheat if you do
    Be a man and tame your wife

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not by force for both to stay married.
      He should tame her right, she's now a wild dog abi ?

      Delete
  41. Hmmmmm it is well, I was like her beca I felt my life is at Stan still and I decided to out the blame on hubby, but now I'm a bit matured and the anger is gradually going, I thank God I married a patient man

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just make sure his patience doesn't run out since your anger is going gradually. Everyone has their limit. If he reaches his, it would be too late once he has made up his mind to ignore you.

      Delete
  42. Poster, find a way to make her view this page.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Divorce her if you don't want to die at 50 years like your father,but before then give her a benefit of doubt by leaving home for 2 month but keep communication open that is what they call warning strike if she doesn't change divorce her

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hmmmmmmmm..... Ghen Chen... Take Stella's advice up there. That is the only solution to your problem.
    Women stop pushing your husbands away with constant nagging, the woman this poster described up there is about to ruin her home with her bare hands....

    ReplyDelete
  45. Your wife needs to be in career of her dream, that is irritating her. I've once been in her shoes. Find out what her dream career is and support her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a stupid advice. Sometimes I wonder what people like you read before making comments.

      Delete
    2. What are you saying? Did you read the chronicle at all?

      Delete
    3. I suspect it is the bv up there πŸ‘†πŸΎ that thinks it may be her husband is the poster, trying to explain her side. Madam your husband is not God that will secure your career for you, except it is in his power. He can only support you. Don't put your husband in God's place. He is only a man and cannot fulfill your every need.

      Delete
  46. Replies
    1. Straight up if she can't stay calm and give him peace. She's acting like she did the guy a favor for marrying him.
      The guy too na weakling.

      Delete
    2. Poster you are not a weakling jare. At least you are showing interest in your home, not like the rest or them jumping upandan like grasshoppers from woman to woman. Destroying their destinies and that of their generation.

      Delete
  47. As much as I am not an advocate of divorce, in cases like this I will suggest separation. This is to enable each party evaluate what yourself and decide if you still want the marriage. Another solution could be seeing a marriage counselor and see how that goes. But poster you need to be firm in dealing with your wife, how can you be walking on egg shelves in your home, mbanu, sit her down and tell her how her actions affects you emotionally and psychologically, then see her reaction. If at the end you both decide to start on a clean slate, please don't cheat on her again. Best of luck

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shantelle don't do this!! πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      Delete
  48. Poster the first step in getting your answer is to send this link to her and watch her after ward reaction, VERY IMPORTANT.

    She might pick a fight from your action, saying you took your marriage affair public. yes! Inform her that you are so exhausted, and needed a free and unbiased opinion on the topic at hand, that your only motive was to make your marriage a beautiful one. If she truly loves you and cherish your union, she will have to pick some sense from bvs trolls and advice.

    ReplyDelete
  49. In as much as you sound like a good man,from experience I will like to hear from the wife's point too.just like Stella said marriage is not by force ur sanity and peace of mind is very important,just give ur self some space let her learn to appreciate you.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Poster, you were wrong for seeking affection elsewhere. However, kudos for not going too far

    I advise you talk to her father. Tell him what you have told us. Insist in seeing changes. Make it known how it's affecting you psychologically. If there are no changes, please separate (not divorce o) for your own good. Maybe time apart will make her change her character. When she sees the difference between being with her husband and being separated, she'll have a rethink and work on her issues.
    At least, you'll have a good night rest when you go home.

    If you do decide to separate, you're not to divorce her. Rather work on yourselves before coming back together. God hates a divorce and none of you have done anything to warrant a divorce (i.e. according to the Bible)

    ReplyDelete
  51. Poster, the problem is with you. You need to work on your self esteem. Get physical help by seeing a therapist or take advantage of Google. The more you respect yourself, the less bullshit you'll take from people even if it's your wife. And in this life, if you don't command respect, no one will give it to you. You asked for the way she's treating you.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I feel sorry for you poster. Follow Stella's advice and see if she changes after the separation, if not divorce straight. Life is too short for someone to be having Hbp over spouse issues. It is well

    ReplyDelete
  53. Poster don't die young because of a Nagging and Selfish Wife.
    Man up and do the needful for your own good..

    ReplyDelete
  54. Give her a break
    Scare her with divorce
    Space her for weeks
    Let her report u to her family
    Then u will explain every tin to them
    Make sure she promise u never to nag again

    Then u go home

    If she fail to change totally

    Live her


    If u fail to live her

    U may die


    She may push u far .... She may cuz ur death


    U sound like a good man
    My husband's type
    U have a kind heart
    I feel ur pains
    Is well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go with this advice.

      Delete
    2. Idiot. Scare her with divorce because he is mr perfect. Change totally cos he is perfect? Marriage is hard work, it is not only women who should work at a marriage. If a woman brought this chronicles will you tell her to scare him with divorce? We have not heard her side to know all his flaws. So far she is not beating you manage your home. If she is angry don’t talk. Take care for counseling. No be only woman Dey fight for marriage. Men here be taking like he is doing anything big. Na your work to repair your home, you are the head and God expects you to lead by example. If you love your wife fight for her....go and watch fireproof

      Delete
  55. Please don't divorce her, just pack your few clothes and leave the house for a while. I hope that she will change

    ReplyDelete
  56. Oga how many times I call u? This is not something I can wish on an enemy. Pack her things back to her father's house and watch her if she would change. Do something drastic if not you will soon develop HBP. Marriage is not by force. If you drive her away she might look for a way to change. I know of a man who lived through it, it's more than 3 decades and no change from his wife na worse e worse. If she comes back and no change I am advising you DIVORCE is your best bet. Anyone that says stay has not experienced a bitter nag before. Bros, I say it with all sense of Godliness divorce.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Poster you love your wife MORE than she loves you and she knows it..that's why she's acting like that... I think you guys are still newly married though, i hope she doesn't push you outside and I hope you separate INSTEAD of cheating and "claiming" "My Wife Made me Do It"

    ReplyDelete
  58. Your dad died from high BP right? If you want to live long, please don't continue living like this

    ReplyDelete
  59. Hello sir,
    For the man is the head of the woman...
    Take your authority as a man..
    No advice here we do u,if u don't take authority over ur home..

    ReplyDelete
  60. OPtion 1: Get a marriage counsellor. If this did not work

    Option 2: Pretend as if you are tired of the marriage look for a safe a place to stay for her to learn her lesson.

    I wish you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Pls for the sake of your sanity,give her space,cos if you dont give her space now,you might end up hitting yourselves

    ReplyDelete
  62. I was frantically reading to see the place of God in this marriage but I didn't see one.
    Please, marriage is God's institution. Jesus saves and it is his teachings and principles that can
    sustain a godly marriage. Have you made him your Lord?
    Do look inwards and discuss seeking the Lord together with your wife. See John 3:15-18,Eccl. 7:26,

    ReplyDelete
  63. A nagging spouse is not easy to stay with I swear, dear poster the Lord is your strength and muscle.
    Just follow Stella's advice and hopefully it will help
    All the best

    ReplyDelete
  64. The first time am finding myself agreeing with Stella

    Oga move on or die prematurely even before your father's 50urs on earth
    The marriage is too toxic, you will end up losing yourself or with of you commit murder unintentionally out of repressed emotions

    The earlier you move on the better for you if you try to form Elites Shaddai, like Pastor Adeyemi said, you will end up as `I shall die`

    Give yourself brain, count your losses and move on

    ReplyDelete
  65. Poster your wife is using your softness as ur weakness, please wake her up at the middle of the night or look for the time shes happely and cheerful to tell her how you feel about your home, you can start with u are missing your dad, that if not for the wrong steps he took perhaps he might still be alive now,that that's why you don't want to go the same part if went.you will then start apolising to her and gradually tell her that you are always scared to come home because of the way she acts, that you want both of you to work deliberately on making your marriage a bed of roses.That you want her to tell you what she don't like that you are doing, after which you will promise to improve then you do thisame, Above all, you both should try and pray together even if is only at night.Always asking the holy spirit to help you people.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Who told you polygamy is the only cause of HBP? Your own HBP will be worse than your father's own at 40yrs

    I beg get at least 3 different girl friends and have lots of sex.
    Blank her out of your mind or alternatively die a young, painful and miserable death in the hand of a narcissistic

    A word is enough for the wise

    ReplyDelete
  67. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it will be very difficult for your wife to change. There is hope, but it will require a conscious effort on her part. First, she needs to admit that she has a problem. A lot of people that have this your wife’s attitude find it difficult to take responsibility for their action. They always claim it’s your action that triggered their reaction. They also find it difficult to appreciate the things you do, because they have very high expectations. The reason i said it will be very difficult to change is this. When she finds out how much she hurts you, or when she realizes the relationship is on the verge of collapse and she runs the risk of losing you, she will change,but the change usually isn’t sustainable. After a while, she will go back to being the same ol nagging wife until she pushes you to the edge again, then she changes again, and the cycle continues.I think both of you need to go for therapy. discuss the trust issue, and the anger issue with a therapist.I do not see this getting resolved without a Third party getting involved. Even with the involvement of a third party which in this case is the therapist, it will still require a lot of effort and grace for her to change. If you both are christians, i also suggest praying and studying the word of God together. Be specific when you pray. Pray for peace and the ability to be open with each other, because as it is, you can’t be yourself around your wife because you don’t know how she will react to whatever you say or do. This is not the way to live. If you both don’t address these issues asap with a therapist, i’m afraid they will bring your marriage to a bitter end, with so much resentment and bitterness towards each other. I wish you good luck and hope you both find a resolution.

    ReplyDelete
  68. ps walk away before she kills you...
    marriage no be by force...

    ReplyDelete
  69. Stella you hit the nail on the head. She is emasculation him big time with all that attitude. If I hadn't seen that he helped her open a business and get a job I would have assumed that she is one rich man pikin and he is not that well to do and she is feeding. But hey you never know. I don't think a typical naija man or any man for that matter will withstand her attitude unless he has something he wants to gain from the woman before leaving her. Just my 2 cents

    ReplyDelete
  70. Stella you hit the nail on the head. She is emasculating him big time with all that attitude. If I hadn't seen that he helped her open a business and get a job I would have assumed that she is one rich man pikin and he is not that well to do and she is feeding. But hey you never know. I don't think a typical naija man or any man for that matter will withstand her attitude unless he has something he wants to gain from the woman before leaving her. Just my 2 cents

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe madam is feeling like she settled for less than she deserved.

      Delete
  71. Can we please hear the wife’s side of the story first? Everyone tells their story to favor them and makes themselves look good. I’m sure if the lady talks we will be weak.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ehen if you know the wife goan tell her to comman do right of reply. We are waiting..........
      Wife if you read this, pls tell us your own side ooo. It shall be well with you people.

      Delete
    2. If she had sent this, I bet you won't ask for the man's side. Rubbish

      Delete
    3. You can reach out to the wife, tell her to come and tell us something

      You dey craze.

      Delete
  72. My friend, do your best to talk to her, then get people she respects, parents, pastor etc and if that doesn't work... It is better to live on the house too than to live in the same house with a woman who bags.... Ernh if not you will not only loose it, you will go beserk, you will injure or kill her or yourself.... Your peace of mind is more important...

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com

Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..

If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via

Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
Mobile Phone +4915210724141