Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmmmm.......









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE....

THE UNWELCOME VISITOR

Please i need advice. I have some health issues which makes me to be really scared of covid 19, i have not entertained any visitors( not even my mother) nor stepped out of my house more than thrice since March. 


My mother in law called last night that she will be coming next week to visit and will be staying for 3 weeks. The problem now is she doesn't believe in covid 19 and she has been going everywhere and living her normal life since the beginning of this covid. Anytime she is around, all her family and friends in Abuja will come and visit her in my house and some will even spend days without any of them informing me of their coming. 


Please how do i discourage her from coming my husband tried to but could not. Aside from health issues, her coming is always stressful (cleaning, cooking and attending to visitors) i already stopped the cleaning woman from coming. I work from home




It is only in Nigeria that these kinds of visits are forced on people....Please tell her your family is travelling and you will inform her when you are back...I don't know how you will achieve this since her son could not do it but if it comes to a case of outrightly asking her not to come then let her son do it

67 comments:

  1. Stella you have said it all...Nothing to add...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell her a lie or something to to be as a discouragement mbok

      Delete
    2. If she was your mother would you say the same dil from hell

      Delete
    3. Anon wear face mask to greet and entertain her, use hand sanitizer every now and then. Disinfect like your life depend on it. She will leave the following morning.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous 15:14, if it was my mum I will tell not to come for these reasons and she will understand. She is not a daughter in-law from hell. She is just not ready for this visit.

      Delete
    5. Anon 15:14 did you read where she said due to health reasons? and did you also read where she talked about how careless her mil is?? Did you read of more visitors??? Am sure if it were her mother, they will reach an agreement without being judged but unfortunately most mil's won't understand. And you judge her!!!! As in I don't get it???
      After her explicit explanation you call her Dil from hell??? You have no right to do that!!! You are not the one wearing the shoes ok? Go to COVID 19 centres and see what's happening, that you and your family don't have it doesn't mean it isn't out there. That you are careless and living as if nothing is happening doesn't mean that everyone should be like you. Please she is not a Dil from hell ok?? She needs our help and if you can't give her any take a walk of honor than degrade yourself the way you just did. Sdk is a family that shows love not hate!!!

      Delete
    6. Anon.15:14, it's easier for her m9m to understand the situation than mil so yes she can do same to her mom. I know coz coz that's how I can relate with my mum too

      Delete
    7. Anonymous 15:14, DIL from hell kill you there. Your type are the suffering and smiling type. And yes her mother will understand 100% and will want to keep her daughter safe.

      My mother inlaw came to visit and made my life hell. The 2years she was with me were my worst years in a country I have lived for 20years. One day one trouble. I had to even take up another part-time job just to stay away from home. I lost a pregnancy without even knowing my baby was dead. I dreaded coming home after work. She would take a walk and once she sees any black person boom she's made a fried. I became topic of discussion to everyone her son was not spared in the gossip. I got so frustrated that anytime we want her to leave she would form sickness. When she finally agreed to leave, I told her straight up, you are never coming back to my house. She was shocked. One thing I made sure was to treat her the way I want to be treated by my daughter inlaw tomorrow.

      Delete
    8. Anon 15:14, please read to comprehend and not to judge.

      Delete
    9. Tell her all of u have covid-19. And is on isolation now. U will tell her when they declare u all covid-19 free. Simple.

      Delete
  2. Nawa o! This kinda ish can be frustrating and i get you hoha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are we all dead, we are still alive. dont let a temporal situation cause you a permanent problem. when she comes you explain to her like you would to your mother

      Delete
    2. Abeg leave this own mother thing.one can bluntly tell their own mother not to come so leave sentiments apart.

      Delete
  3. Hehehe, this one go hard ooo.
    I don't think there's an easy way out of this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a very tricky one. It is better your husband speaks to his mum. If you do It, you will not hear the last of It.

      Why is your husband keeping quiet when he knows you are high risk and vulnerable? He obviously wants her to come or is he afraid to tell her the timing is wrong? If you dare tell her not to come, your words and Intention will be twisted.

      If your husband is not willing to handle his mom,then let her come, before you know It, 3 weeks is over.

      Start boosting your immunity with fruits, vitamin c, the ginger combo, take more precautions, put sanitizers all over the house. When she gets to your house, let your husband tell her no visitors and no visiting, If he can't tell her, you tell her because you are the one at risk.

      Take care of her and do your bit, hopefully she doesn't extend her visit for more than 3 weeks.

      All the best and handle this with wisdom.

      Delete
    2. Poster,you and your hubby should tell her one of you caught Covid and you are under isolation and under surveillance from NDDC and you are not allowed to receive visitors,no better way to tell her oo. If She loves her son,she wont tell anyone and she'd cancel her trip

      Delete
    3. This your advice follow eh. Poster, turn your head this way.

      Delete
  4. Is she not your husband's mother?
    Can't the son amicably agree with his mother? If he can't, don't try before
    you use your own hands to scatter your
    marriage.
    I saw the way you first of all told us that your mother does not come.πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€¦πŸ»‍♀️
    It is always DIL vs. MIL and the bias
    for the Nigerians exist before marriage.
    Why is it that FIL is always calm and cool. And the ladies here are the
    MILs to be? 🀦🏻‍♀️🀦🏻‍♀️🀦🏻‍♀️🀦🏻‍♀️🀦🏻‍♀️🀦🏻‍♀️🀦🏻‍♀️🀦🏻‍♀️🀦🏻‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even you ANG would be a tough mother in-law. Your comments here give a sneak-peak into the future. πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    2. Tough MIL or soft MIL, my MIL is my best friend.
      She can come anytime she likes, covid or no covid.

      Delete
    3. You dodged my question.
      Why are the FILs calm and cool.
      Only the MILs are feared like killer pythons??

      Delete
  5. Dear poster it your husband dearest that should have discouraged her but since he couldn't do that. You need to put up measures to keep safe.

    Let her son tell her No visitors is allowed.
    But even if they come let them sanitize themselves. Try as much possible to keep the environment clean. It won't be easy but God will strengthen you. In-law matter na big one oh

    ReplyDelete
  6. Talk to your husband that she should isolate for 2 weeks once she arrives. Use her grandkids for emotional blackmail.

    ReplyDelete
  7. If she insists, please find a place you can run to, to avoid her for that 3 weeks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cherry, you are on point!

      For the sake of your health, please take your children, and go somewhere till she leaves

      Delete
    2. Some advice here sha.

      So she should carry her kids and leave the house, for as long as her MIL is around.

      If you take this advice ehnn, you'll just be creating unnecessary problems in your marriage.

      Delete
  8. Dear poster, pls pray and ask God to send her on an errand. Let her be distracted. Pray about it. That's all. God says we should ask Him for anything. Tell Him you are not ready for this visit. Could He please make her change her mind?

    Let's know how it goes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. If she insists, please find a place you can run to, to avoid her for that 3 weeks

    ReplyDelete
  10. Since her son couldn't dissuade her from coming, please madam do not entangle yourself in this. Just try to enjoy her visit, nothing you can do anymore. Sad but true.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Pls not matter what do not call her not to come.
    Allow her come and tell your husband to tell her to obey the rules.
    If you have any suggestions to her not coming over, communicate to the son.
    Do not call her to tell her anything.
    The son is suppose to let her know straight up about visitors and all that.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Isn't your husband aware of your health challanges ?
    He should be able to curb all of these knowing you're high risk .
    I think you should talk to him , his mum cannot live like this is 2019 , that's putting you at a very great risk.
    You need to talk to both of them especially his mom having people around for days, its really not safe.
    There should be some form of consideration and most importantly if anything happens ( God forbid ) you'd be the one fighting for your life not them, the most they'd do is panic and pray .
    Some things are really avoidable, we humans just make it hard.
    You shouldn't even be receiving guests it is unfair to you, i pray your husband listens to you when you have this talk with him and his mom too .
    But just know that in this instance you come first before anyone cos Covid isn't a joke , put sentiments aside.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The mil sounds like trouble, someone that refused to listen to her son, she will not take it kindly if she tells her otherwise.

      It is situations like this that me always thankful for the kind of person i married.

      Delete
  13. @poster you are even lucky o. My mum in law just come to our house without informing anybody o and expect to be waited hand and foot.

    In the early years of my marriage I condole it but later if she comes no problem but na food wey dey house she go chop. Won't go extra mile to get anything special.

    Last last we go dey alright.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This should have been an easy one if your husband had done the needful. You have to talk to him. This kind matter self.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Let your husband play his part as the man of the house. Let him insist and tell the mother to hold on for now. He shouldn't push it to you at all.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't mind that lily-livered man. What's hard in saying, "Mom you cannot visit now. Let this Covid-19 pandemic ease-off first." Or couldn't she go visit her daughters (if they are not vulnerable).


      Poster, don't be scared of Covid-19. God is bigger than that. Pray, take precautions and accept the visit.

      Delete
  16. Tell her your whole family is travelling and you will let her know when you guys are back.

    Finding a place to stay for 3weeks may be difficult as you don’t know about the pre caution of the people you will stay with and staying in an hotel may also be risky

    ReplyDelete
  17. You can as well leave the house and find a safe place for yourself. When she come and didn't see anyone to cook, clean and entertain her visitors, she will give herself brain. Please get well soon. Only in Nigeria people cannot have privacy in their house when they want, without unnecessary interference.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hmmmm...mother-in law wakawaka in this Covid 19 era. Nawa o. Please follow Stella's advise.She should be afraid of her own health .

    ReplyDelete
  19. You are just skeptical about her visit,not really about covid19..
    U re just hiding under d facade of covid19 to push ur MIL away far from ur home...
    If Lagos health minister can get covid19,nd u think is by keeping all those covid19 rules will protect u,u re deceiving urself...brace up ur self nd live life with care ...Only God protect,facemask or social distancing is not 100% guarantee of been free from covid19

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dr Steve she be real DiL

      Delete
    2. Which yeye Dr. be this? So if social distancing, mask. sanitizer is not a 100% guarantee, she should just put herself with underlying in a situation that is 50-50 or less. I fear for your patients o. You are a friend of that tester that told Jesus were the son of God. The health commissioner is a Dr and must have been in direct contacts patients that were asymptomatic or are visibly infected which makes some precautions not guaranteed. Treat a Covid-19 patient without mask and come back to tell me that you will go about things only spiritually .....Mtcheew

      Delete
    3. Her concerns are very valid. Please don't downplay her health issues because we don't know what she is dealing with.
      It is not even about her MIL coming, it is about her visiting people and bringing visitors to the house.

      Only God protects but we MUST play our part and be responsible.

      Delete
    4. *underlying condition. *Devil telling Jesus to jump being the son God. ^In direct contact with Covid patients

      Delete
  20. The kind of men some of you marry. He has stylishly pushed it to you so he won’t be seen as the one rejecting his own mother. If he can’t stand up to his mother, will it now be you?

    It’s either of two things for you. Stand your ground and let your husband know that if he values your life no visitors are allowed. You should be firm but polite about this. Let him set the line for his folks, the same way you have done with yours.

    Another alternative if you really married a brute is to look for a quiet and safe place to stay for the next three weeks. Maybe a room in your sibling or parents house or a close friend who is not a covidiot.

    And this is why my friends we always advice you people to marry a reasonable person not a rigid brute that will put others ahead of your safety and comfort. I don’t know what is so difficult that your husband cannot protect your health over a visit from his folks. This period I am the one lashing out like I have cabin fever because my husband has barricaded our family from the world. Myself and daughter are asthmatic so he doesn’t let us go anywhere. We buy in bulk and it’s my husband that handles it. Even up to my sanitary napkins he went to hubmart to buy. If we feel like eating vegetables he will wear his joggers, mask, gloves and buy it. Video call to the rescue. Evening walks he is always acting like a police man till he went and put a threadmill in the house. It might sound like I’m bragging but I want you all to open your eyes to see that it is not impossible to get a spouse who cares and will always put your safety first. Shine your eyes ladies and gentlemen when it’s time to marry.

    Chronicles like yours upset me a lot. What is there in saying no that your husband cannot protect your health and even his own!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you!

      Delete
    2. Thank God you are lucky.Sometimes age factor just allow ladies choose any available man for marriage.I pray God come through for us who are in our mid 30s and till on the waiting list of God for marital settlement.My earnest desire is to get married this year.God please pity me and give me a birthday Gift as i am tired and needs a companion

      Delete
    3. Anon 15:42! You too much! Loud it for those at the back. Naija horsebands be pushing wives to the warfront since 1900! They never act as cover for their wives! Shior!!!

      Delete
    4. My sister 17:48 it’s like I am here because of you today. God will not pity you but bless you for good. Just hold on to your faith. You don’t need a pity husband. You will get a husband even greater than mine that will be the perfect everything to you.

      I met my husband at the age of 34. With my opolo eyes and big ears he still married me. It’s only child birth that brought out my breast because even fine shape I didn’t have. This is same me that my family tried to hook up with a man that his wife left him for domestic abuse. They were that desperate to marry me off. My siblings and cousins don’t like taking me out that time but because they were looking for designated driver they allowed me follow them to the event that I met my husband. When you see me then you won’t even think I’m old enough or have the stamina for sex and child birth. Speaking of sex I had spent my university having sex with all sorts because I just needed someone to think I was good enough. That’s to tell you how ugly I was.

      It was a meeting ordained by God because first time we met we fought over parking spot. It was when he said all these rude children everywhere and I told him I was 34yrs and old enough to point out his madness that he calmed down. He even collected my number from my brother because the devil was still blocking my eyes from calming down to see God’s gift in front of me and the rest is history. Did I mention that I was selling okrika from office to office when we met because I lost my marketing job? The car I was driving was for my dad and it’s daddy please before he will allow me carry it out. The one I drove to the event was for my brother.

      If someone that looks like me and has health conditions like me can marry on my 35th birthday to a fine, loving, God fearing, naughty and very financially stable man, who is that person that will tell you that your own is impossible. I was such a write off that people will outrightly tell me to look for oyinbo or get pregnant. Has your own reached that level? I doubt it.

      There is nothing I ask my husband for within reason that he doesn’t give me. He loves me even more than I can love him. He carries me everywhere and now my confidence is on another level. At every place we go he will hold my hand, waist or even try to kiss me. That’s how proud he is of me. My friends that didn’t look at me twice have started calling me babe or cute. Some even said I used jazz but God power pass babalawo power. When God is ready he will always make the wait worth it.


      My sister please don’t be discouraged. Pray and thank God for taking time to mould your husband so when he reveals him to you, it will be smooth sailing forever. Don’t give up or lose faith.

      Delete
    5. Anon your story touched me. God bless your husband and God bless your home, amen. Your husband is a man, he truly understands marriage.

      Delete
    6. 15:42 I'm glad this is coming from someone that has some challenges as well .
      God would keep you all . everything you said is spot on.
      I Pray God comes through for this poster, only people that lack understanding would say otherwise.

      Delete
    7. I actually cried at your comment anon 18.46 God bless your family πŸ™πŸ™

      Delete
  21. The kind of men some of you marry. He has stylishly pushed it to you so he won’t be seen as the one rejecting his own mother. If he can’t stand up to his mother, will it now be you?

    It’s either of two things for you. Stand your ground and let your husband know that if he values your life no visitors are allowed. You should be firm but polite about this. Let him set the line for his folks, the same way you have done with yours.

    Another alternative if you really married a brute is to look for a quiet and safe place to stay for the next three weeks. Maybe a room in your sibling or parents house or a close friend who is not a covidiot.

    And this is why my friends we always advice you people to marry a reasonable person not a rigid brute that will put others ahead of your safety and comfort. I don’t know what is so difficult that your husband cannot protect your health over a visit from his folks. This period I am the one lashing out like I have cabin fever because my husband has barricaded our family from the world. Myself and daughter are asthmatic so he doesn’t let us go anywhere. We buy in bulk and it’s my husband that handles it. Even up to my sanitary napkins he went to hubmart to buy. If we feel like eating vegetables he will wear his joggers, mask, gloves and buy it. Video call to the rescue. Evening walks he is always acting like a police man till he went and put a threadmill in the house. It might sound like I’m bragging but I want you all to open your eyes to see that it is not impossible to get a spouse who cares and will always put your safety first. Shine your eyes ladies and gentlemen when it’s time to marry.

    Chronicles like yours upset me a lot. What is there in saying no that your husband cannot protect your health and even his own!

    ReplyDelete
  22. No need for plenty talk, tell her your enemy has covid!.And you guys are self quarantining. You will come and visit by Christmas when everything has died down.

    ReplyDelete
  23. If a man can not create a balance in managing his wife and mother, it shows weakness. Be firm, fair and just when deciding between your family, her and hers always.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am pregnant and we haven't seen my MIL since this pandemic.
      My husband doesn't play when it comes to health matters. We have been doing video call till we feel It is safe to visit.
      May God help some of these men grow some balls. A man who should protect his family is keeping quiet.

      Delete
  24. Poster your husband is the one that is suppose to stop the mother from coming but he has obviously pushed her to you so the woman will think you don't want her to come,please talk to your husband to know the right words to use for the mother to make her suspend her coming for now to avoid exposing you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Relocate your family to a hotel, tell her you travelled for work. she wouldn't want to come and do all the chores herself. Pack your bags now, as she is landing, you are leaving with your nose mask on. problem solved

    ReplyDelete
  26. Allow her to come but give her all the convid19 preventive measures Do not allow her touch your kids or anything in your house without applying those measures and more importantly, tell her no visitors. That In this era of pandemic you don't entertain visitors no matter who the person is. You only allowed her to come because she's part of you. Pls do this in a most polite way that she won't misunderstand you.
    I tell you she will not stay one week she go run go her house because the atmosphere will be too hot and cold for her at the same time

    ReplyDelete
  27. I hate such nonsense. Life don't have duplicate and one need to take the necessary precautions and leave the rest to God.
    Madam,those that said Health first are not stupid,please don't take chances. Tell your husband to stop his mom from coming or make arrangements for you and your kids to vacate the house for him and his mom or the mother should be isolation for two weeks somewhere safe and WILL NOT ENTERTAIN ANY VISITORS WHILE THERE,NOT EVEN IN HER DREAMLAND OR YOUR HOUSE. What nonsense!
    I'm a nurse in America, who just gave birth and had to quit now that everyone is making millions just for my kids.
    My husband does all the shopping and outing and have to take off everything outside before stepping inside. I even make my own hair and my kids because this virus is real and kills.I saw people begging for death because of this virus and couldn't stand it at all.
    My mom that is in Nigeria for now went to visit my sister before the outbreak came and she is stuck there. My sister's mother wanted to visit and was told to wait because she had so many contacts with so many people and that my mom is diabetic and hypertensive and she understood and stayed back.
    Why is so difficult for so people to understand that life is delicate? Your husband need to do the needful. Its better to lose only one family member to death than losing everyone because of someone's else carelessness. I know she might not get it but prevention is better than cure. Stand your ground and don't play with your life.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Why are you trying to discourage her? Why not tell her the actual situation and have her stay back in her house for good.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I don’t know the testing protocols in Nigeria but if it is easy to walk in and get tested, your husband should tell her/take her to get tested. If she’s positive, she should not come. If she’s negative, your husband should let her know that nobody will be visiting her for the period she’s with you people.

    If she can’t get tested, your husband should tell her to stay in her house till December or next year. Hian!

    ReplyDelete

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