Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Friday, August 28, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...



Stella I am filled with thoughts so I decide to send you this. Please I want good advice and not just insults. Insults won't solve anything neither bring solutions to my situation. Please Advice me. Thank you.

I come from an impoverished home. We hardly eat everyday and when we do it's once a day in the evening so we won't get hungry early the next morning. 

The first time I ate a whole egg I couldn't believe myself. I was in my late teens then. Childhood was tough. Stopped school at ss1 it took the grace of God to get to that stage. I didn't do primary 5 entered jss 1 didn't do jjs3 because of money but I was brilliant so it was easy for the school to give me promotion. From Ss1 couldn't do ss2-3 stayed at home for three years doing menial jobs. When it was time for my juniors who were then in ss3 to do their senior waec.

 My parents pleaded with the school to help me join them. They accepted and I passed in flying colours. I stayed home for 8 years doing bricklayer work, running errands to support myself and my family. Father was no longer present. Whenever I struggle to buy jamb form and got admission there was always no money back then.

One of the people I use to work for took pity on me due to my brilliance and decided to send me to school abroad for bsc. We are from the same tribe and coincidentally bear the same surname so it was easier to help me. I was already in my mid 20s. I applied for pharmacy and I was admitted. The thing is my looks gets me attention. If I send you my picture you would understand.

 Ladies always flock around me and I try to ward them off. They started spreading rumors I was gay since I didn't pay them attention. A naija guy shouted at me at the school library once not to put my hand on his shoulder while shaking his hands saying, I be faggot?. That was when I saw that they have really peddled lies against me. 

After a while I got close to one of the ladies who showed interest and I liked her too personally but that was when the issue began. She got pregnant the first time we had sex which was a week of our dating. It turned out she didn't take the pill and she started troubling me to inform my parent to meet her parent for marriage. I summoned courage to tell my mother and she was disappointed she refused to meet to discuss any marriage plans. She told me at my age and what we have gone through in life I should have gotten a job and made it in life before impregnating anyone. She said her hands were off the matter since back at home they were still struggling to feed and was hoping I would be the one to take the family out of poverty and make my sponsors proud.

I told my girlfriend it was impossible to meet her family and she forcefully moved in and started living with me. My friends told me to break up with her because she saw I wasn't a pro when it came to women matters and she outsmarted me by getting pregnant. They asked why she didn't get pregnant for all her past exes. I decided to take full responsibility. That affected my grade and studies. I practically dropped out of school in my third year and couldn't go ahead by changing to part-time so I could have my residence permit to stay back. My sponsor sent my fees but the whole pregnancy and taking care of my child and his mother took a toll on me. Her parent told me she is my wife already and they didn't send her to get pregnant so they abandoned her in my care. They stopped paying her school fees and feeding and accommodation. 

I had to take care of everything the child needs. So I used the money to support all of us. I stopped school and worked in a bar, restaurant, and everywhere I could find. My boy is now 3 years. My girlfriend always put pressure on me to provide and I do tell her I am trying. Her parent could help out too after all they weren't angry with her one bit. They treated her like nothing happened unlike my parent who were upset with me. They communicated regularly, laughed and cracked jokes with one another. You could tell they just feel it's my duty to take care of her and the child knowing fully well I was a student.

One day I came home together with my friends but at the door I heard her telling her friends it is okay to cheat on your man if a man can't take care of his woman's needs. She said the fault is on the man for lacking the resources needed to support his woman that The man should be blamed for pushing the woman out since he couldn't take care of her needs. I was shocked but to my surprise the friend told her why can't the woman also work hard to take care of herself but resort to cheating instead. She said if the man was not with the woman won't she fend for herself. That was when I felt used.

 My friends laughed at me and told me they warned me countless times to not take her seriously that If a man doesn't have money these women aren't faithful. They said I wasn't the first to get trapped with a pregnancy that why do I feel the need to accept her with the pregnancy while I could have just accepted the baby alone and make her feel stupid for trying to outsmart me.

I started putting one and two together and It turned out she thought I was from a rich home because of my looks and the course I was studying due to the high tuition fee. I caught her talking to a guy one night while she thought I was still sleeping. I inquired who it was and you won't believe she gave her number to a toaster and was talking to him beside me thinking I had slept. I let it pass but another time I noticed she was talking to her ex. 

On a normal day I would not have a problem with it for some people still keep their exes as friends but I just couldn't help but think she was trying to sort out her own life away from me. Maybe she was trying to see if she could do better outside of us and to figure out if the ex was better to reunite with. I wouldn't have thought that way on a normal day but since I heard that comment I didn't trust her anymore. Stella, since that day I have been looking at her differently.

 I have sacrificed a lot and my sponsor are asking I come back home to work. My parent keep giving them stories because they don't know what to say. My sponsors are just good church members both husband and wife I have worked for. I moved city to the other branch of our restaurant so I honestly do not know if she has been faithful these past months that I am not there. But I work hard to take care of them.

Now, remember I said I do meet women all the time but I ignore them to focus on her and the child but my mind isn't true to her anymore I feel if I continue my life like this, no degree, no career, no money she would leave me if she finds someone better so I decided to think like her. After all she wasn't bringing anything to the table too and I wasn't thinking of leaving her but she dare to consider cheating is okay because a man can't take care of you for a while. When she knew the pregnancy was what brought us to the circumstance we are in. I couldn't help feel she was with me for lack of better option.

The thing is now I currently met a lady. She is a top executive at a well-known organisation I don't want to mention for some reason. She is African-American. I met her twice at the restaurant where I worked. She got attracted to the way I worked. The manager didn't employ much staffs so I get stressed but never tired since I needed the money. I was the only one serving, cleaning, cooking at the same time. She commended me for being hard-working. She told me to call her and she was going to be absent for a while. We started talking on the phone. She wanted to help me with a job if I had a degree using her contacts, but I opened up about everything. I thought she was going to stop communicating with me at that point but she told me she likes me.

I only saw her twice where I worked the rest was on phone where we talk. Mind you, I have met a surgeon, banker and ladies of other profession in my line of job in the past but never acknowledged them because of her and the baby. Now my friends are telling me to be fast and grab the opportunity. That I would be stupid to think if a better person comes for her first she won't leave me hanging. For no woman wants a man who is jobless and waiting in between jobs.

 I clocked 29 last month but I can't even pay my house rent anymore and my sponsors have stopped supporting me because they feel I am done with school and it's time to come home and start working but I have no degree to show them so I stay here struggling it out. Not for long because I would have to go back soon. She nag me of the baby's feeding, accommodation and the work I do cannot support us much longer. The lady I met told me I could continue from where I stopped and she would support me. 

My friends are telling me to better my life. I shouldn't feel loyal to her since we aren't married yet. They say it's either I stay faithful to her and be a nobody while she leaves me soon when I am no longer useful or I marry the other lady? The other lady knows I have a child but I am not married. Thanks.

Please go with the lady that wants to help you finish school..Your baby mama lacks content and will move on if she sees anyone better than you..


  1. Please accept the other lady's offer & don't feel guilty about it, you owe it to your son to be an educated Father.

    1. Stay there and be asking questions.

      Try and do DNA. There is possibility the child is not urs. Move ahead. Ur baby mama is a bad news.

    2. So you believe all bad things he said about his baby mama. He's just a guy that doesn't want to man up to his responsibility.

    3. He has taken own share of responsibility. Two people chose to have extramarital sex here.

    4. Thanks stella for posting. 15:23 Everything I said there is the whole truth. I even removed more from it so she won't be castigated. Did I write that I even sent money home to her sister for her operation as a student that I was? Did I mention it? Please don't make me write more. Did I write that I sent money home to her dad too at some point.

      Everything there is true.
      Please you are not there so don't assume.

      Thanks stella.

    5. At anon 15:23, how do you know he isn't saying the truth? Which useless responsibility. His only responsibility is to the baby, not the lazy leech who prefers to sleep at home and be forming married woman and full time house wife.

    6. This one no hard na. Follow the new lady.

      But you be mugu sha, babe just play you carry Belle. E fit be say no be you even get pikin.

      Just be smart.

    7. Poster see your life. When they say you people should avoid pre-marital sex it would be like we don't know what we are saying.
      I won't insult you just follow stella advice abeggi. Stay there and be asking for advice apply your common sense if you have.

      Anon 15:23 is the baby mama house fees... and her feeding his responsibility or did we not read the same thing. A fellow student like herself o she carried her life issues and dumped on him a fellow student just like that and the parent are okay with it even discussing marriage like their daughter has caught a big fish haba nau reason the matter biko. The girl's parent are also shameless biko
      Yes his son is his responsibility and he never said he won't continue to care for his son so what other responsibility are you talking about.

      She obviously tried trapping him with the pregnancy talking about the speed she entered the guy life and his house. Good for him, next time he would be focused.

      Women too should stop using Belle to hold man's destiny it always backfire. Even if he doesn't leave her he will forever see her as someone who destroyed his chances. He will hate her silently for their mistakes.

    8. So guy you use 5mins sex spoilt opportunity in life

      Na waoooooo for you o o

      Ok, let’s hear from the lady

    9. Anon 15:23 don't mind him. What he claim to have heard her say doesn't make her a chest or that she would leave if someone better came alone. He is projecting what he would do unto her. She was only airing an opinion. Has she left him? No. Does he have proof that she's cheating? No.
      Poster If you want to date the rich lady do not try to justify it and make your girlfriend/ baby mama look like she is the cause of your decision.... talking about your friends said this your friends said that...

    10. Poster, that you send her sister money and her entire generation doesn't make her a cheat. Because you heard her support leaving a man who is unable to take care of his woman doesn't justify your wanting to start dating this rich woman, period.

    11. That child is not urs. He was dumped on u. DNA

    12. See how you use t*t* take spoil your life. I feel sorry for your mum. Anyway,you have another opportunity now, make your mother proud, it's not fair what you have done to yourself. Just be smart, no go use mumu take spoil show again o.

    13. Na wa. E be like say the poverty na follow come. Who in his right mind, after the suffering what you went through, will throw away a sponsorship because people thought he is gay and the first lady he slept with got pregnant. You've never heard of condom? Better go and finish school. Its people like you that would discourage your sponsor for helping anyone else. You were in 3rd year and couldn't focus but decided to drop out as though the money already spent on your school fees was peanut. She didnt need to move in with you for you to care for them. You could have picked up a part time job while still a student and sent money to her. It may be though for a year but you would have completed your schooling and be able to provide for the child.
      I don't even believe this story. If it is true then it seems you are afraid to leave poverty.

    14. Stella where us your E-slap? This is one time you should have used it! I pity your poor mother who is hoping on you. I pity the couple who wasted their hard earned money on you. Poster you are wicked. You continued collecting money from them to feed your stupid girlfriend and her child(who is most likely not even yours)What a waste!

    15. First of all,go for a DNA test for that child and secondly, do anything you must to finish your school so as not to disappoint those your sponsors and your parents.
      If you disappoint your sponsors they won't want to help anyone else even if the brilliance is there.
      Finish school for the sake of your(supposed) child and your family back home.
      Go with the lady that wants to help you but be SMART this time around,always use protection if you must have sex.

    16. You all are screaming for him to follow the African -American woman, hmmmmm I don’t feel good about that. If she truly wants to help you she can with no strings attached but helping you because you start warming her bed is what I’m not comfortable with . Their are so many of these African -American who always put this dish on the table enticingly but my friends that took up this offer ddnt end well.
      If you just wanna play away match the way some heartless Nigerian men do around here then pleasesssssss be very smart about it , in a case of 10% it only goes well with 2%.
      Except you genuinely care about her and vice versa my dear it won’t end well as they see through us african men and once they know we are in their net then they unleash their venom . THINK DEEPLY AND PRAY ABOUT THIS please

    17. Please take learning from your 1st mistake and don’t cause regret and heartbreak on the couple that took up your burden. Don disappoint them and bring shame to your mum. Please be focused and get back on track for what you are there for. Don’t let your looks distract you, remember, there are more handsome and intelligent younger guys out there. Don’t let women and promises distract you. Stop saddling yourself with unnecessary drama and stress, please be focused.

      Retrace your step and continue from where you stopped. Remember where you coming from and where you intend going.

      Good luck and God’s wisdom!

    18. You all are screaming for him to follow the African -American woman, hmmmmm I don’t feel good about that. If she truly wants to help you she can with no strings attached but helping you because you start warming her bed is what I’m not comfortable with . Their are so many of these African -American who always put this dish on the table enticingly but my friends that took up this offer ddnt end well.
      If you just wanna play away match the way some heartless Nigerian men do around here then pleasesssssss be very smart about it , in a case of 10% it only goes well with 2%.
      Except you genuinely care about her and vice versa my dear it won’t end well as they see through us african men and once they know we are in their net then they unleash their venom . THINK DEEPLY AND PRAY ABOUT THIS please

    19. Stella please borrow me your e-slap. You should be on your knees thanking God for another opportunity. You already blow one up and God has given you a second chance.
      Stop thinking about someone that is not thinking about you. Get that degree first and then you can think of anything else. Like most people said, get a DNA done.

      Taaa your own mumu too much. Let me not hear that you didn't grab this opportunity oh! Thank God you came clean to the lady.

      God will help you. please amend your way and make your mother proud this time.

    20. Two people *pre-marital* sex here...(pardon me)

    21. Anon na wetin I wan talk.. na wa for you ooo, person just tell you say e get belle for you, you just accepted. Did you do DNA test, biko this is 2020. Borrow money and run that test before you will waste your life training another man's child.
      Ahhh Han!!!!

    22. The first thing that came to my mind is doing a DNA test.
      Secondly, that girl is a user. Follow the professional that wants to help you after all, you've opened up to her and she has accepted you just the way you are

    23. Issa story, the author did a good job, he writes well, he should keep it up and use his imagination to bcome an even better, well paid writer!

      Naija never ceases to amaze one with the level of depravity and how people enable wickedness&heartlessness.

      So the answer to being USED by someone, is to USE someone else? Bcos thats what majority of the comments are saying. Then in the OPs case he even USED the kind couple that are sponsoring him!

      look, remember it goes round o, hurt people hurt people.

      Poster, u describe your babe without affection as if she is a platonic friend yet you have lived with her, same house same bed for 3 years, abeg make we hear word. Discuss with your lover that you cant continue like this, that this isnt nigeria where she can do fulltime housewife, open up to her that you all risk being homeless with your current state, that she has to help out. Then to show you are serious, help her get a job, and get her to the interview stage. look out for job opportunities for her. She has to work.

      As for the other woman, be true to her that you dont love her, u just want to USE her to get a degree (so that she doesnt get her hopes up for nothing) she is probably open minded, and could still help you and maybe when you stabilise you can repay her as well as the sponsors you have also USED. Do not lead her on with sex or ur good looks. Make it clear.

      Do your bit to reduce hurt and heartlessness in naija circle biko

      Its a different case if you sincerely want the other woman in your life.

      I wish you the best

  2. Do not let this opportunity pass you by. Some women are not loyal and will never be no matter what you do for them.
    And who says you you must marry your baby mama? Clearly she has no video on and is self centered.
    Men, do all you can to make it in life. You owe yourself that. Only a few woman are willing to struggle with a man.
    Go on and grab this opportunity and better your life and that if you child and family. Remember they are looking up to you. Don’t disappoint your sponsors.
    You should also get a DNA test done to know if you are the father of that child. Good luck.

    1. People are saying the child doesn't look like me and I should get a DNA done but I will when I am stable. Thanks.

    2. The earlier you do the DNA, the better. I pray you get out of this mess soon.

  3. “Remember where you’re from” is something my mum always said and I’ve stuck with that in all my dealings.

    So you have basically blocked road for other people that your sponsor could have helped, because of your foolishness? You couldn’t even give them the curtsy of the truth?
    This is why helping poor people sometimes is a waste of time. People value money that they have earned...if you had hustled the money for your school with your own hands maybe your story will be different.

    You better go back to school and complete your degree since you already know how to struggle...working as a pharmacist will benefit you long term than all these suffer head work you’re doing now.

    With everything you said you’ve been through, you couldn’t prioritize and stay away from women while getting your life straight.

    1. Thank you Reasonable Doubt, I was upset reading this chronicle. A man from your kind of background that should focus on his studies in order to assist his siblings lost focus and still asking jamb questions.

      Academic intelligence is not enough to survive, you need to be smart and put your emotions in check...

      I'm so pissed you lost focus and still asking annoying question...

    2. Thanks I admit I was really stupid. I wish I could turn back the hands of time but my child is a blessing I don't regret. Thanks.

    3. @golibe the thing is just annoying me, I just see someone that is used to other people solving his problems.
      The sponsors were just bankrolling this one to be knacking woman on their tab. If na me I go ask you for refund, because it was just wasted investment.

      Opportunity that could have changed his life, he is still here asking jamb question, as the tata that he is.

      Oga poster, African American women like struggle love so hopefully she will help you.

      You better seat up and change your life.
      I hate nonsense.

    4. Reasonable Doubt you have said it all

    5. If anyone call you stupid, mumu, akamu, senseless,etc you deserve it but it won't define you. Try and do a DNA, even if he's your son, move on and use the opportunity to finish your education, that your baby mama is not your WIFE. Even the new lady is not your wife too but a helper.
      Have a talk with that your baby mama, tell her that you will take care of your son but she has to work to support herself.

      If you accept that lady's offer, and she finds out your son's mother lives with you, she will run.

      I'm even angry with you, go and live with a friend but visit your son as much as you can, care for him, that way she will look for a job to pay her bills.
      You need wisdom.

  4. Move on already man and continue supporting your child.

    1. Thanks ella.

    2. If all you wrote here is true poster are u sure your not a closet gay trying hard to resist been gay?! Becos you are damn too soft for a man. From your narration this there is a high probability this baby is not yours. Either ways you need to man up and set your priorities right. If this potential woman is going to help you with finishing school then by all means take up the offer. Either ways right now you need to put yourself in the best position that will set you up as a man. Pls think with your head

    3. No clarity I am not. A man being hard hearted or a woman being soft are all stereotypes that aren't true. Thanks.

  5. Move the heck on with the new lady,bro.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Your baby mama is an opportunistic person

  6. Oh Lord!!!

    I can't believe you lost focus.

    How could you?
    Knowing full well that your family lives in abject poverty!!!!

    May I never lose my opportunity in life.

    I'm sorry you said not to judge you but I needed to get this off my chest.

    However, move on with the new lady because your baby mama is a serious slay queen who'll further impoverish you for life.

    With her, you'll remain perpetually poor.

    Move on please.

    1. No you can insult me or judge but still please give me your advice. I don't mind. Thanks.

    2. You disgust me. Instead of being focused on how you can remove you and your family from extreme poverty, you are being silly. I am so ashamed and disgusted with you. Lazy man. Tueeh

  7. You be real akamu

  8. Your baby mama is a leech
    She's going to leave you once she has a better opportunity.

    You can go with your new found woman but I hope you use your brain this time around.

    You sound stupid though but I hope you have learn one or the other from the life you are living right now unless you keep moving a a circle..

    1. I have learnt a lot. She caught me unawares with the pregnancy and I do not believe in abortion neither did i think her parent will hand over all responsibility to me. Thanks a lot.

    2. Lmao @sound stupid πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  9. Premarital sex is a destiny destroyer!!!
    Satan sent that lady to thwart your promising future like joseph.
    It happened to me first hand, like you although a lady i was young innocent naive and so trusting and he took advantage of it.
    Save yourself I'm not saying have a relationship with the Africa american woman if she can help you with no strings fine but you need to separate from that girl focus on your studies and save yourself and then be able to provide for your daughter.
    God is a God of second chances he will help you, you are a good man just draw close to him.

    1. The pre-marital sex was my mistake. I feel really bad but I can't kill myself at this point. Just looking for a way forward.
      Thanks for the advice.

  10. You better grab that other lady now and better your life, ur family and ur future before one girl you'll destroy it for you

  11. Put yourself first this time. You've made enough sacrifices for a lady that hasn't made any for you. Just pay child support. Let babymama sit up!
    Take this opportunity this second lady offers and get that degree you lost because of sex.

    Remember you owe it to your sponsors to go back home with a degree in pharmacy. You really betrayed them. Make it up to them this time.

    I am a woman and believe in both patners giving their best to each other in a relationship.
    All the same be sure of what you are getting into this time. Don't jump the gun❗

  12. Stella and the way she advise people. Na waa o

  13. Nna mehn, you're slow o. I'm sorry to say...
    She isn't your wife for Christ's sake. This girl doesn't love you otherwise she would have looked for a job to support you. It takes two people to build a home, not one. This is time to put your affairs in order. No be today, man dey give woman belle. Collect an account number that you can be paying a fixed amount every month, pending when you would be capable of taking care of the baby, then you can file for custody of your baby.
    Then take whatever help the other lady can offer you, infact grab it with two hands..If you need to move out of the house to regain your sanity, biko move out...Don't be a fool and throw your future away because of woman matter...Woman that cannot support a man, that is trying his best to satisfy her, that one na woman?...
    Yes, I'm a lady before any one comes for me, but that lady is so entitled, annoying and does not deserve this poster.

    1. How can she support as a Nursing mother..Is the man's job to double his hustle not blaming the baby mama

    2. A nursing mom that have parent? They can't even take care of their own daughter. So nursing mothers do not work till after their child reach 10 years.

      The poster already said he pays her school fees so she can go to school and look for where to drop baby but can't work. Or you didn't read where he said her tuition and feeding is on his neck alone and you people be supporting nonsense.

      The guy brought this upon his self anyways.

    3. Anonymous 15:36 so nursing mothers ate handicapped or what? In case u missed that part where he said the child is 3. The lady is just a leech, greedy, selfish, evil and would ruin this young man's life.
      Poster pls move on wit the new lady, make sure u get ur degree, at least u owe that to ur sponsors and urself.

    4. Nursing for 3 years???!
      Lazy Nigerian youth. πŸ™„

    5. *himself* not "his self" @Anon 16:47

    6. At anon 15:36..please don't make me laugh...Nursing mother my foot...SO nursing mothers do not work, right? Better dump that rubbish mentality

  14. Please aunty stella, I am a proud farmer from benue state. I want to gift you some tubers of yams and potatoes. I don't just know how to meet you and give you all these, you're too good to be a human being you're just a sweet angel trapped in the body of human. Your advices are always topnotch. I love you sooo much may God continue to bless you and your home sweedy. How I wish ypu use MTN I would have just sent you airtime. Stay safe darling.

    1. Am sure Stella will nominate some bvs to you to give to . She’s that daft πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    2. Send SDK a mail
      Check right below this post, hope you know she doesn’t live in 9ja


    3. 16:01, you must be sick in the head

    4. She is daft? Anon 16:01, haba, why will you say such a thing? Is she the source of your frustration? Na wa o!

    5. 16:01 do you say, "She’s that daft" ??? 😳

  15. Ladies you see why you should go for only well to do guys...He wanted to leave his baby mama because of bills and jump to a rich lady.

    1. You mean
      ladies you see why you should never trap men with pregnancy
      You see why you should bring something to the table
      You see why you should have shame and not be a liability but an asset and not kill someone else's son.
      You see why you should close your legs and avoid fornication.

      And yes... I am a lady and this should be your advice to us.

      Poster you won't get the right advice 100℅ here because most of them are women and would try to be partial. Just put yourself first and know this if you were their brother their advice will be different.

    2. I have never replied on SDK blog but i will today. Tides can change anytime. Marriage is all about partnership and supporting each other. Not leeching on each other. That girl is a leech.May we never be entangled with destiny killer.

    3. That one Dey too, he is using style to trash the other one . The guy is also a user. You better don’t fuck with the African American woman before she spills your brains out. Instead of you to say you want to follow African American women to do paper for you since your baby mama is a student like you you are busy saying trash. You are 29 so I assume your baby’s mama is also within that age bracket, like every slay queen she is displaying her vanity and excesses and you must have thought because she is a rich kid you can perch with her but you seeing that her family is not that type decided to look out for the next prey that will give you papers and foot your bills . Lol , I am in the system like you and I know how we roll guy

    4. 21:26 She was never from a rich home and I didn't know she was going to get pregnant. I didn't need a rich prey or whatever you call it. I was fully sponsored read again.

    5. Anon 21:26 aka poster, sorry I can’t pat you on the back. I schooled abroad with people who were on sponship and scholarship too and guess what , most of the guys even the ones who had wife’s in Nigeria were all looking for Rich kids especially babes to leech on and from everything you wrote, your friends oriented you on toeing that path . I’m not going to put my opinion aside just because I want you to feel better knowing full well what you really up to . You can deceive everyone with your cock and bull story and even go ahead to fabricate stories to suit your selfish and gigolo self. So sorry Mr I’m not going to pet you the way others bus have done because it seems to me you already know in your mind what you wanna hear / see but ain’t doing that

  16. Ayayayayayaya!!!! Mehn Good luck on your decision..Be careful with akata women!

  17. follow the new woman, finish school should be your no 1 priority

  18. Good advice from Stella
    Follow it sharply.

  19. Dear poster, Pls follow Stella's advice.

  20. I honestly wouldnt advice to enter a relationship with conditions.. it doesn't always end well.
    Your son's mum should be supportive she's really selfish can't she find a nanny and work?
    I would advice you separate from her for the time being she might try to use your son against you and keep him away from you so prepare your heart for that and work hard to make money to send to him
    You just have a really good heart..isn't their anyway you can complete your studies without marrying that older woman?
    Consequences of premarital sex.. please seek God and make him a part of your life.

  21. Please give this other lady the opportunity to help you. And when you finally get there, if your baby mama is still with you please fashi her cos she will try to come back after you are well settled. You owe yourself, your son and your sponsor a better life.

  22. Once bitten, twice???????. I would advice u play your card well and make sure this new lady pay your next semester tuition as a proof of her sponsorship promise. Please pray more bcos there's nothing God cannot do. Also be wise! You need to operate with sixth sense before you can live and make it here in abroad. First fool no be fool second fool na proper foolish

  23. The question is, do you love this other rich lady?
    If the answer is no, which it looks like,
    There is no marriage here. Aren't you only doing what you
    were accusing your baby mama of doing?
    Really, It pays to belong to Christ, obey his teachings
    and you won't complicate your life in this way.

  24. Follow the new lady and finish your degree. I feel you need to pray seriously also. to break every barrier that may want to stop you from succeeding.

  25. Sex has really halted a lot of destinies, do whatever it takes to become somebody again. From what you described, it is better to come back dead than to humiliate your family by coming back worthless.

    1. He won't come back dead or worthless it hasn't reach that level. When it's not like options has finished. He should marry the other lady. He is the one making the whole thing look like a big deal. What naija babes do on a daily to climb the social ladder this brother is asking silly questions. Poster grab the other lady fast fast and stop acting like a mumu from the way you write it shows you don't love your baby mama again.

    2. Queenamy I won't come back dead but alive. Yes I will do whatever it takes to be successful. Thanks a lot.
      Thanks 16:36.

  26. I have read your story and at first I felt pity for you and wish you continue your study through the new lady but something keeps telling me this story is not how it seems...

    I would like you to start by opening up to your sponsor how long you have gone and ask for forgiveness.

    If you keep on lying for several years to them after using school fees for personal reasons you put your self into, then how am I sure this story is what you painted it to be?

    Just do what you believe is the right thing. if you have a conscience it will guide you on your new path with the new lady or judge you for looking out for a way to abandon your resposibilities. The stage is yours.

    Poster call me πŸ€™

  27. Please whatever you decide, do not cheat on that African American,
    She will just take a gun and blow your brains open.
    It is lifelock.

  28. There is something about this chronicle...

    1. I agree............

    2. Please, don't doubt poster's Chronicle.

      If I tell you my friend's experience with a woman in the UK, you would also think it's not real.

      To think that he shunned my advice not to get entangled with that particular woman. Oh well, he got served a bitter pill!

    3. That's all there is to it.Nothing else except your imagination.
      Thank you.

    4. You sound somehow poster. There is something wrong with you.

  29. So the parent were so shameless to leave the girl's responsibility on your neck?. Nawa oooh Maybe she lied to them you are a yahoo boy or your father owns an oil coy. I am surprise you are still thinking of what to do when most women would have moved on to someone better since. You better shine your eyes. This lady just entered your life and turned it upside down. It is obvious she came to trap this guy like with a baby. Please plan your life first. Nobody dates anyone out of pity in relationship. The only unconditional love is that of God and your mother. Every other one has condition.

  30. Go for the new lady and make sure you finish school,that's very important.Don't forget to take care of your son and discreetly do a DNA test to ascertain he's actually your son.That child may not be yours.

  31. Poster, the blunt truth is that u are meant to be poor. Ppl like u come from a long line of paupers and even when a beam of light is shone at them, something wil still bring them down to the mud.
    Trust me, marrying the AA or BW wil not lift u out of poverty,u wil eventually as the swine go back to the miry clay. Imagine, u dnt have a degree, a baby daddy, still struggling etc.
    What u need is God's Mercy, Favour, Grace else u wil come back for another chronicle. Think abt it and rearrange ur life bfor it's too late.
    Truth is bitter.

    1. Thank you! See the way he’s making it seem like he was forced by the baby mama to cohabit, pay her Bills and send money home to her family with gun.

      I guess his mouth was sealed to tell her no, a grown man.
      He couldn’t tell her he will accept his part of the responsibility and refuse to live with her and continue his school while working partime to chip in his own portion of the bills for the baby. No, he had to show off and act rich, like the poor person that he is.

      Help someone like this all you want he will still remain poor, because he is full of excuses, and everything is always someone else’s fault.

      Case in point look at how he wants to start living off another woman.
      So helpless and full of shitty stories, always looking for helper!

    2. I said something like this but Stella soup pot has swallowed my comment.

    3. God bless you anon 16.39! You can't be both poor and stupid. How dare you choose to leave your family back home in poverty while you work to feed a stranger? I am sorry for sounding harsh but this chronicles left a sour taste in my mouth. I can imagine how you have broken your mother's heartπŸ˜”

    4. I am even upset at the poster. You dropped out of school in Year 3? How many years is pharmacy again In the abroad? All because someone got pregnant so she moves into yours?? Someone you barely know. So you can not continue school and be sending money for your son's upkeep?

      You are a confused person, you are not focused, easily influenced by they said they said.

      So this African American woman, before you do long throat and jump at her offer. be sure you are willing to play ball till she says It is over, be sure you are willing to be controlled by her and do her biddings.

      This one may be worse than your baby mama experience so think deeply before you jump In so It doesn't turn to greek gift and hook you in the throat.

    5. To the best of my knowledge, you are only allowed to work limited hours on student Visa but people take extra jobs just to get by. I have seen people doing very decent courses in the university/ masters program serving at parties. Some do security jobs, part time nanny etc.Some of them take on 2 jobs just to make ends meet.

      Why was It so easy for you to drop out of school? Couldn't you have taken up a night job to augment what you were getting from your sponsors? You blew this opportunity because you got it on a platter of gold.

      Your baby mama has no fault here. You should have remembered your journey/struggles when you were having unprotected sex to prove a point.

      You blame her for your lack of judgement and direction when the blame is 100% yours.

      Now you want to jump from one mistake to another. All the best in whatever you choose to do.

    6. 16;39 I reject everything you say. Don't write me off simply because of my mistakes. I am not meant to be poor and I won't be poor.

      Taking in the megatives with so much confidence like you were there when Christ was writing my destiny. Like you know God's plan for me. I hope you have your life planned out and perfect? I hope you have never made a single mistake in your life and you will never make else you just judge yourself entirely. I am not a swine and will never go backwards again simply because I am human and make mistakes. You aren't God who have restored much difficult cases of others.

      Yes I was naive and everything happened so fast and I accepted the baby rather than tell her to abort or abandon her like most men would. So many men aren't in my shoes not because they aree goly or smart but because their girlfriend have aborted, so many have denied their child only to come back later and claim it later.

      Yes I accept my part of the blame for not using protection I was new to everything and the sex wasn't planned So keep your curses to yourself. Except You have never sinned and make mistake if not....

      I don't need to marry her to suceed. I will open up to my sponsors soon and talk with all parties involved and sort out my life.

      How does your last paragraph and your first and second paragraph correlate? You only wrote your last paragraph to soften the blows of your insults and negative decree which all of my being rejects and isn't my portion.

    7. Poster do not be upset. I wasn't going to comment till I saw that up there since I believe you must have gotten enough advice already till I saw that.

      I read that anon 16:39's comment and I was just shaking my head in disgust at whoever that was.

      Yes, even a blind person could tell you were naive and lost focus and that was the root cause of your problem. But aside from your lack of street-smartness you seem kind and not heartless and you tried to take control of the situation though in a bad way.

      Maybe you didn't have a choice but who is to say most people here castigating you won't do worse if they find themselves in such a situation. It's so easy to sit back and judge, dissect and scrutinize someone else's life while having a few skeletons in your cupboard. Sinners judging sinners, at least we are used to that but sinners making a negative decree over someone else's life with such gusto. That's simply overreaching. I can't imagine the number of comments such as this one up here stella would have swallowed up for you. What a Destructive criticism! Who is above mistake? The Bible says he that is trusting in himself is a fool. Anyone, I repeat anyone no matter how smart can be humbled in a blink of an eye by life's circumstances self-caused or not, if not deeply rooted in Christ. May we never get to that level in Jesus name. Amen. It happened to David. He used his own hand to ruin his kingdom and the life of his children because of lusts of 5 min. Anyone can be stupid you see... when sex is involved however the aftermath is heart-wrenching.

      Even when you respectfully accepted the insult of being called stupid, being an akamu, a dunce and all the names thrown at you with calmness, that wasn't enough for some. Kicking a man that is already down. Who does that? How smart, huh? And I thought poster was the dumb one. Like...Who does that? Ignore that comment.

      I like that you rejected that comment and that you know man is not God and you will come out triumphant. I like that you know their truth is not your truth and your current position is not your final destination. Stand up from the ground and fight back to have your life in order. You would excel in Christ's name and come out of this situation with better testimonies. Take better control of your life and try to get back on track. Share the responsibility of your son's upkeep with your baby mama and let the other woman help you with no strings attached if she really cares though you don't need to rely on her. You need to finish off school and leave women's matter for now. A lot of women have had babies in their teenage years, yes, their lives were disrupted for a while but it didn't end there. Yours, do not have to end too. Finally, those people, they didn't let that situation define them. They went back to the drawing board and excelled. You can too. I speak life into your spirit, bones and situation in Jesus name. Amen. You will excel in your career, education and every single area of your life. You would look back and use your situation to mentor others who might want to fall into the trap of sin. God will revive you wholly. Amen

      Just don't take advantage of the other woman. She seems vulnerable and looking for love. Your baby's mother, please don't hate her too. I don't know if it's just me but you seem spiteful you feel you were left to bear the burden by yourself. Do a deep soul-searching and see who you really love between both women. Who says you must attach your self to either of them. I always say don't ever marry except for love. Who is to say, It could be the pressure of taking care of a child and expenses getting to you, making you paranoid about your baby's mother loyalty.

    8. Just don't take advantage of the other woman. She seems vulnerable and looking for love. Your baby's mother, please don't hate her too. I don't know if it's just me but you seem spiteful you feel you were left to bear the burden by yourself. Do a deep soul-searching and see who you really love between both women. Who says you must attach your self to either of them. I always say don't ever marry except for love. Who is to say, It could be the pressure of taking care of a child and expenses getting to you, making you paranoid about your baby's mother loyalty.

      I always talk about honesty. Kindly open up to your sponsors but before you do. Go to God in prayer. Let him touch their heart just like he touched the heart of the king before Queen Esther appeared in his presence. May you meet with favour and mercies. I think you have a huge glory but to activate it you need to fight distractions and be aggressively focused and prayerful. Shun pre-marital sex. It disrupts and alter a lot of things. It is well with your body spirit and soul. Amen.
      Sorry for nay typo didn't proofread.

      God bless you for this platform, Stella.

    9. Wash a pig, oil a pig...poster,trust me, u are one. See all ur bad decisions till date and u wan enter BW hand again.
      Your poor mom knows that u have failed them, I bet they haven't still eaten a full chicken back home and u are paying for a rich mans surgery. Nna, forget,ur paupership runs deep. I have lost hope in all u can do. If peradventure u later succeed, which I highly doubt,pls come back here and tell us. I need to give a testimony cos u are gonna still be like ur forbearers in wealth.
      Good luck, lemme also add, Good luck Jonathan bcos u...
      Still me...Anon 16:39

    10. 16;39 Anon shut your dirty mouth there. May all your evil expectation on this man come back to you haba nau let it rest. You this bully crying more than the bereaved. what do you mean you doubt he will be successful even if he tries??? And why did you come back to say he will be like his ancestors who are paupers. Are you his God?? You are sick. Now it shows most of you do not read and just rush to comment. The young man already replied everyone below that he has taken the advice given and your idiot self is still here making a big fool out of yourself. Calling him derogatory names thank God man is not God. GTFOH with your ill wishes. All your curses will go back to you. Stella don't make me find this comment o what nonsense.
      Stella do you know I insulted this guy yesterday with anger but I knew I had to come back here from spontaneous post this morning when someone mentioned bv Sabella adviced the young man to read what she wrote. Now I feel guilty reading he already wrote down there he will change and took our advice. What else does this oversabi want.

  32. First and foremost,from your story,there is a big possibility that the baby is not yours, she knew you were not that smart,and don't be suprise one of your friends too is eating from your better wise up as she doesn't expect you to and finish up school, thank your sponsors and help your family too....find out who the father of that child is....for her parents to abandoned her to you, they might have given up on her too.

    1. He probably made the girl keep it. This poster seems afraid to leave poverty or this story is made up. Who drops out of Pharmacy school to wait tables full time? Na lie or na follow come.

    2. Nawa for some people on this blog oo So he should have told her to abort it or dump her like most guy would. This poster braced up to the situation and now he is a bad person. The baby mama should have hold up to her own end of the deal by supporting instead of suffocating him with unnecessary responsibility abeg.
      The parent hasn't even given up on her from what I read. He said they do call all the time and crack jokes with her and he even sent them money. So the parent are loafers just like the girl.whatever mehn

  33. Poster, this is what happens when we allow other people pressure us all in a bid to prove to them that we are not what they think we are.

    If I were you, end things with that lady as HSE has shown you from her words and actions that she's only with you for what she can gain.

    Don't enter into anything serious with the African American lady yet. Still get to know her and let the relationship blossom naturally. Its good you opened up to her from the get go.

    As for your sponsors, open up and tell them the truth, you will surely be reprimanded for losing focus but there will be two outcomes, either they overlook and help you or they do not. Whatever happens, take it in good faith because nobody has empathy these days talk more of helping someone school abroad in these hard times.

    Above all, I really commend you for doing the right thing by your babymama. Some will shirk the responsibility without blinking.

    Long story short, the earlier you leave your babymama so that you can progress, the better for you. Child support is what you owe her, nothing else.

  34. Are you normal to even ask between sugar and bitterkola which is sweet. Please take this second opportunity God is throwing at you and correct your mistake., let your baby mama go get a job and continue with her cheating life.

  35. If you accept the other lady's help, please man up and get that degree so you can stand on your own and while at it, don't get her pregnant too please

    As for the baby mama, even without the other lady's help, you should know she is not the woman you need, if time and money permits you, do dna on your child, it could be same cheating spree she came to do with you and the main baby owner found out and abandoned her (just in case o)

    You need to do your sponsors proud and your family focused

    Lastly don't forget to bring us update here someday


  36. When I started your story, I was almost in tears. My sadness turned to anger as the story went on. How? How could you be so stupid? Sorry that I have to admit it.

    Firstly, do a DNA test without the mother knowing. If it's negative then you are free to walk away. If you're the father, you can send her out of your home but take care of your child's upkeep.
    You'll need to really evaluate your feelings for this new lady, if you don't genuinely love her, please do not accept her help because you'll just get into another baby mama issue and you don't want to add that to your mounting responsibilities. If you love her, then I'll say go for it and better your life. I wish you the best but this is the time to take charge of your life and retell your story.

    1. Your first paragraph. I am really sorry.

      Thanks for the advice. That's Why I came her. Thanks again.

  37. You had a wonderful opportunity to take your self and your family out of extreme poverty, but you used your dik to destroy your self and now, you are left with taking risks over women. I guess your village people are still on your case.

    1. Not anymore. God is on my case now. No advice just insult? Thanks atill.

  38. Poster are you still asking question and waiting? Biko!!
    FOllow the woman that wants to help you. You need to get that degree and have a good life with the woman thag cares about you for real.

  39. Wait, you want to move to another lady? Haven't you learnt? I advise you do a DNA test and if it's positive, break up with your baby mama and be ready to provide child support. Go back to school. Search for scholarships. I don't know which country you're in but some like Germany have free universities. Don't accept the other woman's proposal. You think Nigerian women are bad? African American women who feel used are worse o. Don't say you weren't warned.

    1. Thank you. I won't use her.

  40. You sound so dumb stupid reading your chronicle. You sound like a little boy who’s just learning how to walk. Even your responses to some of these comments makes me feel like you’re still going to make another ridiculous mistake that will fu*k your life even further. You need to be street smart, use your brain very well and listen to your heart. You need discerning spirit to figure things out and pray to God for guidance. Your sponsors will be so so disappointed in you. Heck I’m pissed off at you!!! Listen, I live here in the United States and you need to be very very careful with Black American women!!!! She’s older than you and I’m sure she can see through your naivety. If you mess with that Africa American woman and break her heart or use her, she will treat your fuck up. They don’t play! She will drag you down to the mud completely and make sure they deport you if you’re not careful. Do you want to date her because you love her and would like to marry her?? Don’t let another woman trap you down with a baby because you’re not street smart at all. In fact, let your friends call you gay as long as you sha finish your school with no woman drama. Deep down in your heart, you know you’re not gay plus why be around people that bring your self esteem down?? Why are you with folks who brings negativity around you. You stayed away from women because you wanted to be focused but see how you caved into peer pressure! Last thing you want right now is another woman matter!! Let this African American know straight up that you’re not looking to have a serious relationship. You need help and if she can help you out without any string attached then she should. If you’re to weak to resist sex, by all means use CONDOM!!! If not, leave that woman alone and just continue to work hard and save up. Your main and only priority right now is your pharmacy degree because you can set up a pharmacy store back home! You can do a lot with your degree. With your degree, you will better your son’s life and your family back home. Stop sending money to your baby mama and her family!! You owe her NOTHING. She’s to bring support , encouragement and peace to your life but it has been exact opposite. You need positive and good support around you right now. That’s what you need. STOP any form of relationship and emotional entanglement with your baby mama and strictly only about your kid. Sit down with her on how you both(not just you) will care for this child and for the child only, nothing more. She shd get her lazy ass up and find a damn job. Also Get a DNA test ASAP! Don’t wait too long because the longer you wait, the harder it’ll be especially if the child is not yours. You’re already emotionally and financially invested in this child. You need to stand up to this baby mama, show your tough side and let her know enough of the bullshit! You sound too darn weak! Take charge of your life and don’t let the devil play games with your life! If you don’t give a damn about yourself, at least give a damn about your family back home and all what you went through growing up. But it’s ok, you can turn this around. Shine your eyes very very very well, be on alert and be very prayerful. Ask for forgiveness, ask God to lead your path and show you the way. So to answer your question, NO, do not settle down with that African American woman, Do NOT settle down with your baby mama. What you need to do right now is focus completely on yourself and getting your pharmacy degree. You’re not ready for marriage/woman now until you’re financially independent. Find another job if what you’re doing right now is too tedious. Goodluck and let us know how everything turns out. Stella I take God beg you, post this so poster can read. Thank you πŸ™πŸ½ Ps: I’m a woman by the way and one thing I hate most is when people take advantage of others. It’s not right, it’s not fair!!

    1. Great advice..i agree with somethings you said
      But leave God out of it
      How can you advice him to use condom to fornicate with one mouth and then start giving godly advice with another..
      Pick a side light or darkness?

    2. @18:36. You don’t understand what I’m saying do you? I said if by all means if by all means he can’t resist, use a condom!!! Isn’t it better saying that than to just Focus on on spirituality as poster’s obviously don’t have a genuine relationship with God. So yes I’ll say it again, if he can’t yield to temptation he shd use protection to avoid a second pregnancy especially with a black American woman because she’ll sue him for child support. Read, process and comprehend what I wrote! πŸ™„

    3. Thank you. I will be zipping up.

  41. You made a mistake by accepting her to live with you, you could have objected to it and be helping her out in your own little way because of the child. The mistake has been made move on and better your life.

    Accept that lady offer and make your people proud for once. Your parents are back here praying for you, make sure you do everything possible to make them happy.

    Move out of that house and send her allowance monthly for the child. Don't let her use you again. Once there is no money, it is hard for a girlfriend to stand by you.

    Make your son proud of you tomorrow by taking the step to better your life now.
    If you have the courage be bold and talk things put with her, but make sure you don't stay together again so that she will stop draining you. Be wise.

    1. Your first paragraph i felt so too. Thank youu.

  42. What a sad story. You could have been making $100,000 a year had you stayed focused, knowing your background and the opportunities your sponsor exposed you too. Your mom must be heartbroken, you who should have taken your family out of poverty is still in poverty because of 5 mins of pleasure. You let the devil thwart your plans on when success was so near. I hope others learn from your story.

    Come clean with your sponsors. You owe them that much. Then ask your baby mama to find a job. I don’t know who’ll take care of your child, because childcare is very expensive as you know.

    See if you can advance your relationship with your African American lady. Ask her to co-sign a private student loan.

    I don’t know if that would work because you intend to return to Nigeria once you are done. But maybe you should stay abroad, get a good job and repay that loan before you think of leaving.

    If you finish with a good degree, you could get a big pharmaceutical company to sponsor your work visa.

    Finishing your education should be your #1 priority right now.

    1. I will stay back and work it out. Thanks a lot.

  43. Poster, 1st things 1st, you need to finish school. Go with someone willing to invest in your life. Leave your babay mama abeg

  44. Poster please go with Stella's advice. Your baby mama doesn't mean well for you.

  45. Poster what you are going through is what we call "Your dick making a slave out of you" i am sorry you are going through these emotional and financial crises as a result of the girl that came into your life, i also want to congratulate you because you have found a way out of these problems, I will advise you to do the following.
    1. Accept the woman (Africa-America) and be with her
    2. Do a DNA to ascertain that you are the father of the baby
    3. If you are the father, please make sure you take care of your son ONLY, as for your babymama you don't owe her anything, you are not married to her, she is an adult and can work and take care of herself
    4. Please be careful with women, don't let your dick make another slave out of you.
    5. Don't give up on your career. When you can, complete your studies and get a good job, i pray the new lady you met help you through this.
    6. After you graduate and get a good job and have money please make sure you appreciate your sponsors back home, be grateful.
    7. Please make sure you take care of your family back home and take them out of poverty. I pray God help you achieve your heart desire. God bless you.

    1. Thank You and God bless you too.

  46. Women castigate men on this blog, but truth be told a daughter of Eve will suck men who are not smart dry till they turn to bonga fish, men fear women oooo, except they are God-fearing, they can destroy all you have built by just batting their eyelids.... Poster leave that daughter of Eve, she loves you not!!!

  47. Please for the sake of your mother and your poor family follow the woman, see this as a second chance. Please do all you can to make sure your purpose abroad is completed, I pray for much more favor and grace. Make sure you take God seriously, pray fervently. I wish you good luck

  48. Bros,draw me your two ears,DO NOT DARE COMING BACK HOME WITHOUT YOUR DEGREE,don't try it,do you want to waste your sponsor's money?they won't forgive you,don't u dare come home,don't even try coming home WITHOUT a degree.....dazzaall I have to say!

  49. Please for the sake of your mother and your poor family follow the woman, see this as a second chance. Please do all you can to make sure your purpose abroad is completed, I pray for much more favor and grace. Make sure you take God seriously, pray fervently. I wish you good luck

  50. Dear poster, I can only imagine how heartbroken your mother must be. I'm not about to push a man who is already down. You already know you haven't been so smart with your choices.

    This is the time for you to take a stand on issues, I dare say right now, be selfish regarding your desire to succeed. Too many people are depending on you and have invested too much on you, for you to let them down like this.

    The mother of your child is not your wife. It is not written anywhere that one must marry their baby mama/papa. Do you see any future with this mother of your child? If No, care for your child and move the f*** on. If yes, you will have to require her to sit and help out. (I'd rather you moved on, it seems it is a relationship of inconvenience).

    If you move on and want to be with this new interest, please sit yourself down and make it clear what you want. Don't lie to yourself, if it is your degree you want to achieve with the relationship, make it clear to yourself, if it is a job/ financial assistance, make it clear and stay focused till you get it.

    The downside is nothing goes for nothing. This new lady is also requiring something in return from you. If it is marriage, well, sadly many people marry for other reasons that has nothing to do with love. Just remember that he who pays the piper dictates the tune.

    Walahi you messed up sha oh. Poster you have to intentionally and consciously hate poverty. Look where you are coming from, let that intentional energy drive you. Would you want your child(ren) to struggle and suffer the way you have? 'nuff said.

  51. ...yea and give yourself an ultimatum to come clean to your sponsors. Make something going on for yourself, and confess to them. These things don't stay secret for long and it would be terrible for them to find out from another source.

  52. From your Chronicle, it seems you are easily influenced negatively.
    Friends rumoured that you are gay
    Friends told you that baby mama outsmarted you
    Friends said you should go for the African American woman

    Can you see the root of your issues?
    Friends opinion

    Just say you want to go for that African American woman
    That will mean jumping from frypan to fire
    She has no succour to offer you and she will mess your life up
    You will end up having another baby mama
    Have you thought of child support and troubles of two baby mamas

    Tell your baby mama to get a job
    You need to share the responsibilities of child care
    Go back to school too
    You need your degree
    Leave women alone for now until you find your feet

    Do not use another woman to fight your baby mama
    Own your mistakes with your full chest
    Let your baby mama get a job
    House rent and child care should be 50/50
    Change your friends


  53. You sure say na you get the pikin?

  54. Thanks everyone for the comments. I appreciate you all. I will read them over and give you feedbacks soon.

    Yes The lady wants marriage and I already told her i am not In that frame of mind for something like that now. I have no intention to use her If not i wouldn't tell her about my whole life out of fear of losing out on the opportunity she is offering me.

    She Has offered to dashed me money and i have refused so she knows I am not after that.
    She is igbo and American and we are same age so she isn't older than I am.
    I like her because she is different from my child's mother In how she tries to support me and how we are getting to know ourselves. The whole interaction isn't rushed and I don't feel pressured. With my child's mother we always talking responsibility but with her I feel light and without any cares In the world. I will tell her to assist me if she wants but I don't have relationship in mind at this point.

    I will discusss with my child's mother and let her know we have to share the bills and the aspect of taking care of the baby too so I can plan my life and refocus on my education and have money left to support myself. I like my child's mother because she is thee mothermother of my baby( will do DNA soon) but i don't know if I love her because the whole thing was rushed and we didn't really get a chance to date before we became parent so I cant say if staying with her was out of responsibility or love. And besides the whole thing has put a pressure on me that I can say the feeling isn't as strong as we first started. I will take a break from the relationship too to clear my head and our conversation would only revolve around the child.
    Thanks again.

    1. God bless you for taking our advice even though we were harsh at some point. Leave women for now you hear? Plan your life and after telling your sponsors let us know how it went.
      Come back oo let's know how far
      Bring feedback.

  55. Your baby mama is a destiny destroyer. Move out of the house and leave her, go and look for a room in a house so that you can save money and finish your degree.

  56. This guy talks too much, walahi. Abegi, just go and start putting into ACTION all the great advice from here o.

  57. Guys go easy on him....He obviously doesn't have the heart to hurt anyone and would always think of what other people's happiness before he thinks of himself.
    its a personality trait...its his strength and also his biggest weakness.
    Poster, i know you're already feeling guilty with just the thought of walking away from your baby mama and your son(if he's yours)makes you feel guilty.
    the only way you can help yourself right now is to stop over thinking things and just take the bull by the horn and be selfish for once in your life.
    I had a friend whose destiny was wrecked with a similar case....the lady had another man's kid for him and because this he missed out a whole lot in life...he never loved her...she wasn't a builder nor an achiever so he had to bear the time he realized himself he was already in his late thirties, living a frustrated life with nothing to write home about. need to take the reigns of your life back from confusion and only live life once...and you must make it count!
    The new opportunity looks nice...but still be on your guard so it doesn't end badly.
    Learn to say no..and be firm at times...
    Get back to God and build a relationship with Him so you need to depend on a woman who wants sex with you before she helps you...coz the day you say no to her..she may pull out a gun on you.
    Allow God take over and open great doors for you that would re-write your story and make your mum and sponsors proud.
    Everything lies in your hands....your present and everyday decisions is your future.

  58. How are you sure the baby is yours, oga pls do all within you power to finish your degree

  59. Oh my God,poster I'm sorry for all you went tru and still going tru.

    My annoyance is that you should have atleast accept to care for your baby alone, no one is saying you should have ask her for abortion but atleast not allowed to live with her,are you married to her.To the extent that you started paying for her school fees and caring for her family as per say she is your wife.

    Please do not dissapoint your mom and your sponsor,may God protect and direct you as you do the right now now.Please endeavour to finish up your bsc and break up from that your baby mama,let her go back to her people,pls care only for your baby with combine effort oo.

    I wish you the best! Hoping that you will give us joyful feedback in no time.


  60. Hello poster.

    I feel your pain. But I think you need to take a step back and not get involved with another woman because it is going to complicate your life. You will not be going into the relationship with her for good reasons i.e. love, but because of money which is misplaced. You do not know what baggage she will come with.

    You need to address your issues at home as a man. A lot of people have asked you to get a DNA test and I agree with them. This was the first thing that came to my mind when I was reading your story. Then secondly, you are not married to this lady, you have a child with her. You should not have allowed her to spoil your life. YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. Even married people do this. Be the man and tell them (her and family) what you can handle. Afterall, if you did not have all that money (your school fees), how would you have taken care of them? If you still choose to take care of them, that is your decision. But you have to take things seriously now and save money to get yourself back to school and then she should get a job. You have been taking care of them for many years now, it is time for her to step up, you live abroad and this is the 21st century. Sit down and draw up a financial plan: how much you need to save to get your life back together and how much she should earn to move your “family” forward, if she still wants to. If she does not agree to this, you will abandon her. You need to go back to school and finish your education. This should be your goal.

    If you had done things well, this is where your family would have defended you. Family is always important. Here, her family is defending her squarely, meanwhile, your own family is not around you, thus, you have made mistakes.

    If you need to accept assistance from your new lady friend, do so and ask her to give you a loan, once you are back on your feet, you will pay her back. Getting into bed with her will be like marrying a second wife. Are you ready for that??

  61. Use condom you wont hear. My dear as you accept that other lady's help, plsssssssssssssssssss pray MFM prayers. Powers of your foundation that want you to be poor shud die. Go online and search for prayers to suit your needs. May God help all of us. ps: run a DNA test on that child.


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