Stella Dimoko Weekend Arena - Love Is Not Blind In Nigeria Because Of The Harsh Economy.....


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Friday, November 13, 2020

Weekend Arena - Love Is Not Blind In Nigeria Because Of The Harsh Economy.....

 I decided to indulge in a social media post concerning the troubled marriage between the Alaafin of Oyo, Oba Lamidi Adeyemi, and his estranged wife, Anu. Typical of a Nigerian Facebook group, debating a topical social issue, the comments came in torrents. 

They were as variegated as the social problems afflicting the country, trust me. Everyone became a marriage counselor, even those who apparently had not tasted the undulating, good-today-bad-tomorrow curves associated with marriage, everyone had something to say. Skimming the comments, what hit me were the emerging priorities in relationships.

It was amazing that many, women for that matter, were blaming the wife for walking out on the marriage with the traditional ruler. A few of them even asked for the number of the traditional ruler so they could quickly replace Anu and improve their lifestyles in spite of the fact that the thread also had Anu’s Instagram post, where she alleged that she had been ‘living in hell’ in the supposed ‘heaven’ as the palace of a top traditional ruler would avail.

Well, grasses always look greener on the other side. It will take tasting the pie to savour the flavor. But some of those comments simply reminded me of the Russian President, Vladimir Putin, and his ex-wife. 

Some years ago, his wife left the entrapments associated with power to retire to a quiet life somewhere away from all the glamour. I am sure a lot of today’s girls, especially those commenting on the Facebook group I followed, would find it bizarre that someone would leave the glamorous life of a First Lady because the marriage was not fulfilling her fantasies. 

The take-away in these revelations is that the priorities for going into marriage are fast changing, no thanks to the harsh economy. Before now, people would say that love is blind, but the changing economic climate, now makes ‘love’ very active. Its eyes are wide open to see the bank balances and the rest. These days, before a girl or a boy commits to a relationship, they tend to consider the economic benefits associated with such liaisons, and ‘manage’ with the other essential factors. Where it seems there are not many benefits, intending couples tend to foot-drag and no measure of persuasion from anyone brings any change of mind. 

Thirty years ago, it was common to see, marriages amongst course mates in the universities or even youth corps members (Governor Akeredolu of Ondo State is one of them from what I read) but such rarely happens these days, except amongst the children of the rich and powerful. This explains why winning elective offices in Nigeria, also comes with pecks like getting suitors for the children of political office holders. Perhaps, these changing priorities, which are often not durable, are also responsible for many marriages that are collapsing with so much ease these days. While official statistics, may not paint the real picture, because Nigeria as a conservative society, tends to hide such realities as marriages not working, the trend shows a rising number of cases in the past couple of years. 

This goes to show that harsh economic conditions also take an ugly toll on such basic institutions of the society such as marriage, which is the building block of the system.

According to a report on failing marriages in the Catholic Reporter, Ukoma Andrew, a priest, blamed the trend on the economy, which is shifting the priorities for intending couples. He said: “Marriage is no longer seen as a sacrament whereby a man and a woman are married for life. 

The injunction that they will remain married till death does them part, no longer means much to a Westerner. Unfortunately, they are trying to impose that on Africans, and particularly Nigerians. Today, people marry for the wrong reasons either because the bride or groom is from a rich home or is rich.”

The implications of committing for the wrong reasons are enormous. Considering that nothing ever stays the same forever, this gives rise to disenchantment once the reason for that commitment vanishes. If a lady falls in love for the money only, what happens when the money disappears in course of the marriage? If a man falls in love for the elegant body of the bride only, what happens as child-birth takes a toll on her looks?

Equally worrisome is the number of eligible men who are not ready to commit to matrimony due to economic reasons. Examples are numerous around us, and nobody should blame them wholly because one needs to ‘secure the floor before acquiring a mat’, according to an Igbo proverb.

That is why the government should as matter of urgency give massive priority to the economic problems of the country. Economy is the bedrock of every activity associated with existence on earth and should be accorded its rightful place in the policies of government. The best minds that can get Nigeria out of the woods must be assembled to do this. As can be seen from our marriages, bad economy is taking a toll on how young people find spouses and love. 

Nigerian youths cannot be denied of everything including the opportunity to love simply because of economic deprivation foisted by bad leadership structure and mismanagement of resources. They need the lifeline, the love-line.


  1. Replies
    1. Love don die my brother. Na management them dey now. Suffering and smiling o

  2. Nice write up as usual. ๐Ÿ‘to you Ngozi.

  3. Nice write up as usual. ๐Ÿ‘to you Ngozi

  4. My love has never been blind.
    I always open my eyes wide to watch

  5. Great write up. Every one has 'wisened up', when it comes to tying the knot.

  6. If a guy ask me out. After knowing his name. What do u do for a living is always my question bcus i can't suffer. Thank God i have something doing but u must be a bonus to my life not a liability. When i had a prayer session as regards getting a suitor. My pastor asked if I can marry a graduate that has no job. I told him no cus d daughter of God cannot suffer abeg.

    1. You mind he? It's amazing how quick so called pastors and women leaders in church are quick to introduce a jobless man to a single lady but will bad-mouth a single lady or play dumb if a well to do man asks about her.

    2. Lol!
      No daughter of God should suffer jaree, I like you already.

    3. Natasha you're a realistic person.

      The most Complex B

  7. Yes o daughters of God cannot come and suffer

  8. Ngozi always on point.

    The most Complex B

  9. Sons of God cannot come and marry liabilities too. Make our daughters of God get something doing, however small ๐Ÿ˜‹


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