Chronicles Of A Married Man - Part 1

This is the pilot post of this new column....Hopefully as you read along,you become addicted and learn something............Please make sure no one else has your attention before you start reading......

Here goes for your reading pleasure.............

In my teenage years, I grew up reading “fatherhood with Ibe” a column by my amiable Dr. Ibe Kachukwu on “Hints” magazine. It was always such interesting read. I remember his stories about navigating through the waters of fatherhood and his relationship with his children. His write-ups inspired me to this because I learnt a lot from them. Also, we men go through lots of stuffs in marriage but because you have to man-up, we just bottle-up stuffs and die in silence. So I will be ranting, venting and sometimes putting out some personal opinions based on my experiences. I sincerely hope you will learn one or two things from my story.



So where do I begin…ok; let me start from the beginning, the getting married and marriage day drama. 


Marriage is a very interesting journey, an unending course of study without a manual, course work and failure could be life changing. We all had our childhood dreams of having the Cinderella and Prince charming wedding with the happy-ever-after experience. 

Howbeit, when I got married I has hit with bills, wife dramas, in-law politics and the ever changing world of having to have children and building a family; and of course there was love and happiness; I do have my good days. Hmmm…marriage is work, and having a happy one take lots of sacrifice and understanding from both parties.

So I decided to start this chronicles to just to tell my own story, the story of my marriage journey. Trust me it’s been a roller coaster of a ride. Sometimes we go for days without talking and the next thing you will hear is “na that small thing make you dey carry face like akamu abi? oya e don do”, and sometimes I just receive a call from madam and she is “so you forget our anniversary abi?” but other times it’s fun and hallelujah till the next school term begins or when I hear “pampers don finish ooo”; and am like will this ever end?

 Frankly, I had to get used to it because it’s a “we die here” something and in all I would say marriage is worth the fun and stress, afterall we signed up for it.

Many people started having issues in their marriages from the activities leading to their marriage and the marriage day fracas which were not properly handled.

 I personally had a terrible experience that has made me not to even watch my own marriage videos till this day. Marriages here in Nigeria are stressful and unnecessarily complicated due to way we do things. It’s even getting worse these days that even after the stress of the traditional marriage, church and court weddings, people still have time for wedding after-party after the wedding reception! That’s excluding the “first visit”, introduction, pre-wedding photoshoot, bachelor/spinster’s night (hope I got it right?) and the “ugwongwo” that goes with them! Anyways thank God for Redeem Church, they made things little easy for me on that part.


And as for those of you ladies keeping your “kobikobi” for the wedding night, you better wait for another couple of days after because you will be so exhausted from the whole marriage activities that having a wonderful first time sex where you will be breaking “bloody boundaries” is not advisable. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

Wedding night sex are overrated. The couple just want to sleep after having that “thank God it was successful” breath because Nigerian marriages are such big deals. Anyways not everyone goes through this, if yours was easy, I am happy for you.

So here I was after wooing my wife and almost getting frustrated for two years, she eventually agreed to marry me. You can imagine her telling me, a whole Urhobo man to kneel down and propose, for what! 

Anyway las las, a man gats do what a man gat to do (but I nor kneel down ooo). I engaged her without a ring. In my mind, I was like who ring epp? 

Here is my take of this ring thingy. If you know the guy isn’t going to marry you within the shortest possible time, don’t take the ring. How can someone engage you with a ring for over one year? Why tie people’s daughter down in the name of engagement? 

Some people even engaged people’s children and ran abroad, maka why? 

I gathered liver and went to my father-in-law and told him I wanted to marry his daughter and will be coming with my people. After preaching sermon about how he has been praying about his daughter’s marriage and sowing seed; and how he has always wanted his daughter to marry a God-fearing man (wahala for who nor get fear of God, for my mind…ok oo). He eventually to told me to go, that he will get back to me.


Two months and counting later, baba hadn’t gotten back to me. Na then I know say e don red! Just wait till you hear wetin Redeemed Christian Church of God people do me.

I will be back…

Ciao!