Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE.

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Thursday, January 28, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE.

Update of life...LMAO!






Good day Stella. 


This is an update for MY CHRONICLE . Summary of last Chronicle: I met someone online and was asking if I should be the one to go and see him first.


Well, I went to see him and to be honest I was initially impressed by his personality. He is nice, courteous and we had a lot in common. "Had", because the relationship is over now and I will explain the reasons. The story take style long sha. 


Well I will start from how I spent 12 hours on the road to see him. I was welcomed well. He is comfortable and hardworking although as a 37 year old I expected he could have done better for himself. Maybe I was wishing for too much. 



He topped his class during his BSc and MSc days and had been working for over 7 years and he lived in a house with a kitchen and bathroom away from the main building. I spent about 1 week with him and we really had fun. There wasn't anything fancy but I enjoyed his company. I watched his temperament. I tested it a bit and he didn't seem to get angry easily.


Although I thought it was quite fast but he was already talking about marriage. At the end of the visit he took me to see his sister and her husband. The next visit, we did blood tests and I took him to see my big sister. Then the visit afterwards, I went to see his parents. Then, my mum. I wanted him to see my mum last because she complains a lot and is not very welcoming to suitors generally due to being socially awkward. Not intentional. Him and his parents then started asking to see my uncles so that traditional rites can start. I was thinking it was too early but again we're adults who know what we want.


So I decided to go and spend 3 weeks with him during this last Christmas to really assess his behaviour. One night I woke up and asked God to show me a sign. 

Then that morning we went for a toddler's birthday party near his parents house. He got so drunk that his dad had to seize his car keys. We slept over and went home in the morning. He went to work at 10 AM on Monday. This is Lagos o. 

A week after, he went for a secondary school reunion and came back at 2 AM. Drunk. He also misplaced his office bank token. He works for an oil importer and processes 8 figure transactions daily.


The first time I went to see him I noticed 2 bottles of alcohol in his fridge but he left them untouched till my last visit. So does he really have an alcohol problem? When I was at my base and he went out to a party, within the next 24- 48 hours I'd notice his phone would be unreachable.


Again we were talking about relocating to Canada. I would be the primary applicant and write some exams to increase our points. We agreed he would bring money. I asked him several times if he had the full money he said yes. Then much later he told me he has less than half. I was already planning to make up for it but I didn't tell him. He planned to "invest" in a ponzi scheme to make up the balance. His life savings in a ponzi scheme. 


Omo, our relocation started to look like I'd be the only one to make all sacrifices. 

It looked like he intentionally asked me out because of my age, qualifications and family background. I noticed that his ex girlfriends had similar backgrounds too. 

They were all well to do career girls. He also likes to borrow money from friends to do business. He was going to get 10 million from his friends and double it in a ponzi scheme. He told them the return would be 20% but he planned to keep the balance. Relocating to Lagos without a job was out of the question. He was always complaining that he hates his job and liked to tell me that he likes me because I am hardworking. 



On my birthday he bought me Pizza and he ate half of it......

HAHAHAHAHHA please this is Stella laughing while reading..hahahahahhahahaha


Much later, I found out that the primary applicant would need to present proof of funds for 2 if we're already married legally. Even if he will not accompany me. At this point, the pressure to meet my uncles increased. I also found out something along the lines of being responsible for the upkeep of an accompanying spouse for up to 3 years after PR is granted. 


At this point I told him that I would need more time. Him and his family wanted an April date. He got upset when I told him to give me more time. He accused me of throwing away the relationship. He pushed me to end the relationship because he refused to give more time. He trivialised the drinking issue and money issues, that we should work to tolerate our imperfections.


I won't lie I miss him but relationship haf scatter. I don't think that kind of person will ever change.
I am open to advice. Do you all think this could have been handled better?




*Eh,you say wetin?DONT GO BACK OH.................
miss him all you want but its forward ever.he wanted to use you and you got lucky.....Being married to a drunkard is like playing visa lottery with Domestic Violence!

59 comments:

  1. You dodged a bullet sis. That guy is a drunk and isn't very serious with his life. Let the relationship scatter it's better than you having regrets later. You will meet your own God ordained husband

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now I am focusing on Chronicles to build my mind

      Delete
    2. Move on. God just saved you from making a mistake

      Delete
    3. Shebi you say he was desperate, but now he's the one that told you to go and you are still complaining

      I won't advice you to marry someone with a substance abuse problem though, they are the most difficult type of people to deal with. Be it alcohol, weed or even the heavier stuff, reasoning with them is like trying to interact with a brick wall

      Verdict: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

      Delete
  2. Congrats sis.
    You missed a grenade.
    The thing about asking God for signs is, if the signs come, you go gree? I remember my last relationship I prayed for mercy, chai. When mercy showed and came with its accompanying revelation, I wanted to die.
    I cry sotey my mama threaten me say she go come lagos come bundle me back home.
    But after some months, I got over him.
    One thing that worked? Continuous thanksgiving.
    I was always thanking God even with tears in my eyes because I knew that my past was NEVER GOING TO BE BETTER than my future. I was NEVER going to lose Gods best for me.
    And it happened. I have experienced a love so sweet that i am so thankful i left my ex.
    So sis, gird up your loins and start thanking God.
    Your man is coming.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If not for the age, would have said it's a consultant friend of mine. He drinks like a fish! And he expects me to jump at his proposal cuz he's comfortable. At 42,all that matters to him is hang out and tour the world. Kmt

      Delete
    2. i am not the poster but what you wrote up there is for me. walked away from a cheating boyfriend when you have no alternative after so much investment in the relationship, but now i am thankful because i have peace of mind. no more worrying about a grown ass man and shouldering responsibilities, and yet he had the audacity to cheat and lie to me. it was hard at first but i had to do it. las las, my own man go show.

      Delete
    3. anon 16:37 the men that have their gf shouldering responsibilities cheat the most. what most women don't get.a man like that is a coddled overgrown baby. he feels no responsibility to anyone but him n his selfish desires. he wants to be provided for by a woman without feeling emasculated but as we know that is impossible. so he will act out to feel like a man. aka cheat

      Delete
    4. God please show me mercy and reveal deep and hidden things to me too. I had positive dreams last year when i wasnt ready for the relationship but now that i am ready i am trying to get a sign from God...hope he wont be like “but i have shown you, what else are you looking for?” πŸ˜„ i just want to do his will..

      Delete
    5. Very true. She dodged a grenade.

      Delete
  3. No way!! A drunkard 😲😲 who will help you out after he breaks one of his whiskey bottles on your head?

    Keep it moving babes, you'll meet your own soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mrs. A pls lemme alone ooooπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.
      Congratulations ma'am. Your home is blessed

      Delete
  4. Gets drunk.
    Wants to abi invest in Ponzi Scheme.
    He is a no for me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't like advising people, when it comes to relationship issues, cos at the end of the day, you will still do whatever you desires to do

    Have you ever sit this guy down to talk to him about this drinking issues? No man is perfect, if you did, was there any effort to change?

    This relocation issues, according to you, he is not financially bouyant, so where do you want him to take the money from?

    All what I'm seeing, initially you felt, this guy was all that. Intelligent, rich and beautiful background, but you got quite disappointed

    If he was very rich, intelligent, has it all. Would you have asked God to show you a sign, after seeing how wonderful he was? NO. Talk to him about all your fears, if he doesn't make an effort, then you move

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is his primary duty to take care of her financially if they will be getting married.
      Anon, 15:47. Don't go and hustle, be there waiting for a gold to dig.

      If you people will dig the gold and use it for something beneficial or even become responsible, it will be better. But no, you will keep digging and digging and digging...until you dig her grave. I know your type, been there, done that.

      Dear poster, you don't miss him, you miss the sex. How do you people open legs for irresponsible men still beats me. Please don't go back to him. In the next SnM, while making your comment, be sure to include you want a responsible, (financially responsible) man to relocate with. I bet you, they will line up. Nigerian men no dey take ear hear abroad, most of them have the money but do not know how to go about the visa processing, a lot have been saving money for it too.
      I repeat, if you go back to him, the next chronicle will be that he sent you back to Nigeria. A word is enough.

      Delete
    2. Everything isn't about money please. I just described a consultant with brains up there who I am not accepting his proposal cuz of his lifestyle.

      Delete
  6. This poster was desperate. Initial desperation pushed you to see if it will work,it did not and you still want to go back. Desperado

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i don't think it is fair to call her that esp if ur a woman. if ur a woman u know that above a certain age a woman's chances to have babies runs out.

      i think a lot of nigerian parents focus too much on girls facing book, reading bible until all of a sudden they r marriageable age n don't have the skills to date and pick partners properly. guys learn from their friends who are not always good influences but at least they know good strategies to get their ultimate goal - SEX without commitment. n their targets? naive bookworm women with little experience. the next generation of women need to be taught the skills to pick good partners n avoid being used. n yes dating n getting married have strategies n rules. it's a game. prayer buttresses it but the brain has to work

      Delete
    2. That's unkind. I don't think she was desperate, she liked him at first. And even if she was. desperation is not a crime, and not a sin. At best it is a character flaw, which can be worked on. E-hugs poster. Cheer up !

      Delete
  7. He did you favor by pushing you to end the relationship. Endure the break up and move on. Drunks have been known to gradually graduate to violent folks. Better miss and regret not having him than regret having him all your life.

    Plus his ponzi life style. You dodged something.

    Best wishes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in eh. He was pushing her to end the relationship cos he was thinking she will beg. Some of these men think that Nig girls want to hang on to crappy relationships by fire by force, especially when marriage is being planned. He never thought she will really end it. His loss!

      Delete
  8. You better move. My ex brokeup with me last year and i was kinda devastated then I thought about helis negative behaviors. He is a drunkard although not violent,he is manipulative,womanizer and does have financial accountability at all. I have no issues with a man drinking but when it gets too much,I don't think I can condone it. Now I am single but have about four suitors on my neck. I'm praying fervently for God to give me the best. No rushing this time. Poster forget about the guy,he is a user. Periodt

    ReplyDelete
  9. You better move. My ex brokeup with me last year and i was kinda devastated then I thought about helis negative behaviors. He is a drunkard although not violent,he is manipulative,womanizer and does have financial accountability at all. I have no issues with a man drinking but when it gets too much,I don't think I can condone it. Now I am single but have about four suitors on my neck. I'm praying fervently for God to give me the best. No rushing this time. Poster forget about the guy,he is a user. Periodt

    ReplyDelete
  10. You are his MAGA, guyman wants to use you and run out of 9jaπŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£ MOVE ON

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are very lucky nne. You should tolerate his drinking habit and keeping late nights. That is the ones you notice in space of spending three weeks ooo. Now spend 2 -6 months after marriage and see him in his partial glory because with this kind of person, they will always shock you expect they decide to give their life to Christ.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Maybe the D is good

    ReplyDelete
  13. You're lucky God gave you the signs you prayed for.

    ReplyDelete
  14. what baffles me is that after fornicating they still go dey ask God for sign.How una dey pray when you are deeply involved in fornication.The standard of God doesn't change and it wont be lowered,stop fornicating and see how God will send you a man after His heart and a husband that will cherish you.Yes I am assistant Jesus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Feck off

      Who would you rather she ask for help???? The devil?????

      People like you would behead the Hebrew Spies for taking refuge in RAHAB THE PROSTITUTES APARTMENT and accepting her offer of using the Scarlet rope to escape the Canaanites who were after them!

      YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE CALLED ASSISTANT JESUS you are NOTHING LIKE HIM.

      Go ahead and erase Rahabs name from the lineage of Jesus too! Judge and Jury!

      You are nothing like Jesus!

      Delete
    2. But God have her the CLEAR signs yet here you are. You guys are too obsessed with sex for adults and it’s scary and shows a lack of personality and happiness

      Delete
    3. she is an adult so is free to make decisions. note men like sex, sexual women n they use it as a determinant for marriageability of a lady. also, they will wait only for the woman they feel is worth it but she has to give clues that sex will be on the cards, sex will be enjoyable n that sex will produce babies. also how teachable n submissive is the woman?

      simple. men r literally that simple. u can be mary amaka in the streets but better be megan stallion in the sheets. virginity does not matter except the man feels that virgin will be sexually teachable to his likes. it sounds crass n disgusting but that's it.

      Delete
    4. anon 17:33 ppl that are that judgemental are actually the nastiest freaks. they be getting it in the most. or r secretly detesting that their beliefs r stopping them from getting it like they want to. so they attack sexually active people with vitriol. i just jump n pass when i see such comments.

      a real Christ minded person will just feel pity for fornicators but sees no use in shaming them. rather he will pray for them.
      mark my words. the louder they shout the more sinful they are. it's like downlow gays publicly hating homosexuals

      Delete
    5. By your submission, believers like Pastor Kumuyi, Pst. Adeboye, and Dr. Olukoya are probably sinful in the closet. These men of God are icons of holiness movement in Nigeria.

      It is nice to know that sinners should be given a pat in the back, and not to be encouraged to repent.

      Delete
    6. We don't know what these men are doing behind closed doors. Again, they are MEN not perfect beings or gods. @ Foodie. If u used your time releasing that pent up sexual frustration by putting it into being more creative and productive and actually serving n praying to God instead of eating your emotions all the time, then you would not be on blogs bitter and lashing out at people choosing what they want to do with their genitals as adults.

      Delete
    7. Proudly foodie the comment we are all responding to is definitely not ant form of encouragement to repent.

      Pat on the back my foot!

      It reeks of disgust on the down low. The effrontery of a human who sits and decides other humans should not have access to God because they are stuck in a rut and beneath the sort of humans God can relate to is mind boggling.

      Delete
    8. There is no justification for fornication. God's standards can never be lowered.Two wrongs cannot make a right. You accuse him of being a drunk where as you a fornicator. It cannot work. Take it or leave it.

      Delete
  15. After 25 yrs old I get very unforgiving of drinking to drunkenness.

    Girl, you dodged a major bullet. Run and don't look back. Thank God you called out to spirit for help.

    ReplyDelete
  16. A lot of you saying she dodged a bullet would date or marry that man if he was rich.I always tell people,as long as you are not perfect,do not throw away a good relationship over a temporary issue.So if you’re the one that will take care of most of the funds for you guys to travel,so what?What law says he has to provide everything?women always find good reasons to date rich men with nasty attitudes but won’t try to help a good comfortable man change his ways.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 16:23, you are free to marry the guy na. Kindly ask the poster to give you his house address and phone number. No be fight ooo

      Lovelace

      Delete
    2. Anon you are silly. What is wrong with the man getting half of the bill? She never asked that he brings all the money required for the process. Drunkeness is not a habit. She is living her truth of not wanting to live with an irresponsible man! Are you the irresponsible man???

      Delete
    3. Anon 16:23 being poor and a witch is a course, bad combo. He is not rich, so? You want to recommend him to your relative?

      Delete
    4. I think it depends on the individual. I think we should know the difference between red-flags and flaws. Red-flags are major threats to a relationship, things you can't tolerate. Flaws are bad habits you think can be managed. Drinking to drunkenness' and financial irresponsibility for me is a red-flag, for some it's a flaw. Having same values too. I don't do ponzi, never did but some see nothing wrong with it. Poster most likely saw these as red flags.

      Delete
    5. Hahahahahahahahaha

      Baltika have killed me
      Anon 16:23 pls get the poster to connect him to you so you can link him with one of your relatives.
      You must be one of those gold-digging stingy and broke bats that called themselves men on this blog.

      Delete
  17. You lost me at drunk to the point of losing stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  18. My dear, you just dodged a bullet. Thank God you saw the signs and took them serious.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Interesting times.

    Fornication on the one hand; God on the other hand. What a combination!

    @poster:

    I hope your relationship did not include premarital sex? Spiritual network gets jammed by impurity, and fornication in particular always results in a fuse blow-out. Praying to God while living in sin is like trying to make a call with a phone without battery.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SMH
      If men were God

      Delete
    2. Anonymous 19.01

      Of course, Man is not God.

      God is God all by Himself, and man is man.

      Seeking God for help to overcome sin is one thing, but seeking His help while holding on to sin is a different ball game. If sin reigns, God becomes unreachable except by remorse, confession, and repentance.

      The prayer of sinners (unrepentant) is fruitless. There is nothing in my post that condemns the poster. If you re-read, without emotions, you will see my question to her, separate from the fact that this generation is perhaps the most interesting in terms of sin and righteousness.

      No one is perfect, but would you clap for an unrepentant fornicator? I leave my question to your conscience.

      Delete
  20. Interesting times.

    Fornication on the one hand; God on the other hand. What a combination!

    @poster:

    I hope your relationship did not include premarital sex? Spiritual network gets jammed by impurity, and fornication in particular always results in a fuse blow-out. Praying to God while living in sin is like trying to make a call with a phone without the battery.

    ReplyDelete
  21. So you still went to go n see that man after we explicitly told u not to. Odiegwu. i'm not igbo but i feel that will match this situation here. well at least u have seen that we adviced u well. u satisfied ur curiosity n don't have to wonder what if.

    the guy sounds like trouble from the ponzi scams to buying pizza n eating half to getting angry when u postponed Canada plans. guy man sees people as things to be used for his benefit nothing more. my ex was same way when he asked to borrow urgent 2k for phone credit n he flipped on me n tried to guilt trip me angrily. out of lack of other options, i stayed. HE DID NOT GET BETTER, Infact he is still using women as safety net to advance himself to this day. n i dunno if they r mumus that cannot see thru the manipulation n see that they r only fall back options when relationship goes bad. that's why i don't play with my dating options now o. once one messes up i demote him n promote someone else.

    better u carry ur 2 legs n run ma unless u wanna stay back to continue studying. i sha see him as selfish n all that scamming will end him up in jail or on the wrong side of a vengeful person's gun.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Well that's why it's rather wise to date someone for at least a year or two before tying the knot. There are things that time and common sense would reveal in the long run. The first 6 months is when you have rush of romantic love (hormones) and trust me romantic love is very flawed and never enough. If you have that alone, it can mislead you. For marriage you will need a lot of filial love (friendship) and a lot of unconditional love (sacrifice). The man would have set the tone on sacrifice by being the first to visit, and enduring the 10hr trip not you. When you said (in previous chronicle) that he couldn't come due to a being an essential worker in a covid hot-spot, I honestly thought it was abroad and he was a nurse. (but seems not so. Now you say he works for oil importer) So did he lie cos he didn't want to visit? Did he really have covid or he made that up for you to visit first? And seems you're the one always visiting cos he smartly made you visit first knowing it will set the tone for the relationship.

    LOL at the pizza ish. Anyways, good luck and be careful. Many men prey on ladies in their 30s. Just cast your cares on the Lord and if you can, avoid premarital sex. It also has a way of clouding our eyes and leading us to bad decisions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Personally I'm not 30 but ive already decided that I'm going to start taking years off my age when men ask me. Respectfully. If u take care of yr skin n weight, u can pass it off. N then later on tell him u were pulling his legs. By then he would have fallen for your other qualities. Men lie to save face and get u to fall for them. So why shouldn't women? We even have more reason to do so because our fertile years are at stake. This game is very competitive

      Delete
    2. Gbam! You're 100% right. Ladies ladies never visit a man first and If u can, hold off visiting until he has invested enough time and effort. But still he must comw see u 1st. I don't care what excuses he has. If his dream girl was asking him to come first, do u think he would give excuses or catch the next plane to come see her? Exactly

      Also if he is asking you to come see him he has to be paying for ur flight there. Men value what they have to pay for. I keep saying the same thing but it's like its not registering.

      And finally poster if ur having this sort of issue with a man dating u for money then u need to take a good look at ur self (your weight) and be honest. Forget that whole men love plus size women thing. People will lie to u n say ur ok the way u are, it seems like such a minor thing but as shallow as men are, it means alot. It communicates a woman is beautiful, pure (or illusion of purity such as spiritual life) healthy, fertile womb and she takes care of herself. Other factors that matter to men are how submissive and cooperative a woman is. (This doesn't mean be a pushover or go n see him 1st or give him wife privileges but how teachable are you) good luck in your future endeavors with other options of men. If u follow these things then u shouldn't have trouble attracting countless options of men that wanna marry you and not just use you. Good luck!

      Delete
  23. Poster na God saved you. You would have woken up one day to pack his vomit

    ReplyDelete
  24. This one even made me speechless, Age is really just a number,if not how can someone refuse to be responsible at 37 and would depend on ponzi.na their likes they do money ritual.good riddiance to bad rubbish.
    But wait there is love in sharing now as regards that pizzaπŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  25. Any guy into puzzle scheme you have to avoid such people, just know that this is who is that in future you will have to accept him like that.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Yes, don't go back because you stooped too low.
    Finally, the dude used you and had his fill of fornication because you cheapened yourself to go
    on that visit against every advice. You do not worth a mound of dung to him because you lacked moral
    and character yourself as a lady.
    Going forward, give your life to Christ and imbibe the gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in
    God's sight. 😘😘😘😘😘😘

    ReplyDelete

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