Stella Dimoko Chronicles Of A Married Man - 6


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Sunday, January 03, 2021

Chronicles Of A Married Man - 6

“Who is Amaka? “

All the sleep in my eyes disappeared in a second! War is coming…son of man had to think hard, fast....

Me: Amaka is a friend (Me putting on my innocent face)

Wife: What kind of friend that calls you dear and sends you account details?

Me: But you don’t know all my friends na! Anyways I knew her from work.

Wife: So why is she calling you “dear”, who is she to you?

People of God, that’s how I had to call Amaka on the phone to explain how come she was calling someone’s husband “dear”. Las las, mama was convinced. Anyways Amaka is a “bad” girl…I will tell you more about her as this chronicle goes on.

I want to discuss about five critical aspects of marriage, which are the causes of divorce in marriages today. Approaching these issues in a pragmatic manner and understanding the peculiarities of your marriage as it relates to these issues will either make or break your marriage. 

These aspects are… I have to clearly list it;

Bearing children…



The In-laws…

 “The strange woman”

The last one is the leading cause of marriage break-ups these days.

Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo aka Pastor K, has some very wonderful insights about these topics in a series titled “Handling power, money and sex”. I used to listen to his messages before I got married and they were very insightful. 

Traditional marriage as we know it is fast eroding and the “woke” culture has taken over. Some men have lost their home and marriage because they have refused to change with the times. In as much as I like to be the Urhobo that I am, I have come to learn that the women are becoming more powerful these days than they used to be. So, if I approach marriage the way my father did, I will get myself into trouble. Now if mama tells me to jump, I just ask “how high?”

I started this chronicle with the mind of looking at these issues from a man’s perspective using myself as a case study. So, I will talk about these five issues as we go on and how I have been navigating the rough waters of marriage with these issues. I am sure we are going to have some insights as the days go by. No marriage is perfect and no one marriage can serve as a yardstick for the other. But you never know what you can learn.

One, every marriage is different and unique in its own ways. So, know what works for you and stick to it. Two of the most useless places to get marital advice is “online” and “fellowship ground” (beer parlor). You will just hear one half-drunk “hunku” be shouting during a discussion “I can’t take that from my wife! I am the man of the house!”. Las las, “hunku” will go back home and knell down to beg his wife. You, who is not wise, will go back and start forming “boss” to your wife based on what someone said. Na there your wahala go start!

Same goes for online advisers, listen to them at your own risk, some of them have never been married and they haven’t gone through the things you have been through. If only they can walk a mile in that shoes of yours, they would understand.

Two, always ask yourself these questions: what will I do if I caught my wife/husband cheating on me? what will I do if my husband were to have an erectile dysfunction? what will I do if my wife can’t have babies? what will I do if my husband becomes suddenly broke or out of job? What will I do if my husband suddenly starts smoking or doing drugs or stop going to church or decides to change religion? what will I do if my husband or wife asks for a divorce? Before you say God forbid, just think about it.

Lastly, always remember, people change with time. My wife who used to be very timid and quiet before, has now become a lioness in the house! 

She can even match my “bad mouth” now with equal propensity. Imagine me that used to have a sexy looking body with my six-pack abs that I developed in my university days; now I can only comfortably boast of my now “jumbo one-pack” stomach. So always ask yourself, if this “love of my life” were to change, will I still love him or her for life.

Real matters dey come next week.



  1. Interesting!!! Amaka true true na bad girlπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  2. This thought provoking questions are worth thinking about.
    Thank you.

    I'll put these helpful tips in mind.

  3. I ask again.... Who is Amaka?😷

    1. Amaka na the babe wey know say her unofficial zaddy's wife to spoil her unmarried face for her
      You get?

  4. Amaka na dangotress but bros na learner. Amaka never open him nyash

  5. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣I laughed hard when I read the aspect of "listen to online advisers at your own peril..."
    But bia o, are you not an online adviser? 😁😁😁😁😁

  6. I began reading from the first episode and it is quite hilarious reading a man's chronicle as variety.
    The pastor kingsley's teachings you were listening to before you got married, were you and your fiancee then fornicating and listening to this pastor's teachings?

    1. What a dirty mind you have. Assisted Jesus
      Its Like sex in on ur mind 24/7. Bloody hypocrite

    2. @Yvonne
      I read that first episode. They lied to their regional pastors that they were chaste but
      he mentioned that they were having sex before marriage. It is not about "dirty minds." Those were
      the facts he laid out himself without being asked. And please, intelligent people read this blog.

    3. No they didn't lie.They told the truth and promised to change but they continued

    4. Intelligent people my foot. Always twisting a narrative or reading upside down.. They never lied about having sex hanty.

  7. Amaka na just a friend!!!indeed that is how my horseband wants me to believe that his staff he chats with calling her honey ,darling ,baby etc and discussing our family issues with is just a platonic relationship LMAO!! Werey!! I will treat your fuckup soonest.

  8. "Two of the most useless places to get marital advice is “online” and “fellowship ground” (beer parlor). You will just hear one half-drunk “hunku” be shouting during a discussion “I can’t take that from my wife! I am the man of the house!”. Las las, “hunku” will go back home and knell down to beg his wife. You, who is not wise, will go back and start forming “boss” to your wife based on what someone said. Na there your wahala go start"! πŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎ

    This your comment is apt. I was just shaking my head when recently a lady talked about her husband sister slapping him and she slapped her back on behalf of the husband.

    Small small chikito who has never been married were saying she did the right thing and were clapping for her even those still young in marriage. I was just wondering if they wanted her marriage to spoil or to show they are the badass. Even stella who has been in marriage for so many years and people use to accuse of having oyinbo mentality told her she did the wrong thing but many were clapping for her. They will clap for you with one hand while using the other hand to call the sister-in-law to beg her with correct tears and that is if they even have the liver and the kidney to slap her in the first place.

    That was how my former friend use to act like she was the lion in her marriage thank God for my sense she would have deceived me. It was in my very eyes her husband dealt with her.

    Please poster keep it coming. Thanks stella for a lovey post.

    1. Your own no follow. Why will the said sis in law slap her? Rubbish slave mentality

    2. Anon 7:35 did we read the same thing? The anon up there said, the sister in-law slapped the husband which is her blood brother and not the wife. It was the wife that even went to slap her husband's sister But you purposefully twisted the comment and claim it was the sister that slapped the wife. Your hatred for anything sister in-law made you to read the comment upside down. Na wa... All this rubbish wokeness no dey tire una? Why do you people like to read things upside down on this blog? That is how that spirikoko one up there Is accusing the poster of lying to the pastor that they did not have sex meanwhile the poster told the pastor the truth and the pastor told them to ask for forgiveness. That one mind is so fixated on sex that he thinks of nothing else but to accuse everyone.

  9. I love reading your story!

  10. Marriage is school that you do not graduate from.

  11. "Dear" can be formal or friendly with no strings attached, nothing wrong with that at all. I don't know why most people especially ladies tend to take this serious. Abeg make una free una mind sometimes oo, haba

    1. Tenny dear, “dear” is an affectionate, informal word. Why don’t you call your boss dear at work???
      No bloody woman should call my husband dear. He is not your dear , dear . Piss off!!!

    2. I use that word very well. We learn everyday. Didn't know it meant flirting or something. I use it to show respect from a friendly point of view. Sir looks too formal. But we learn everyday sha!

  12. Tanx bro.I love ur story.

  13. Aftet paying dowries, everything on the list, traditional wedding, church wedding and you come house dey act Mrs Independence. You wonder why domestic violence is at peak

    1. Stop trying to justify your mike Tyson self abeg

      Oshe Evander Holyfield

    2. This one is stupid but doesn't know it yet

  14. This marriage of a thing eh,it's just the grace of God oo,nobody sabi pass,we learn every day.

  15. Wonderful write up. I will start saving the series...

    Thank you Stellakoko...

  16. Enter your comment...Thanks for adequate use of suspense in this beautiful and educative piece.I like this story seriously

  17. Omo I love this chronicle.

  18. Those questions are very apt especially for a woman to ask herself so she's not disappointed along the way.

  19. What an interesting write up
    Great and wonderful lessons learned

  20. This is eye opening and insightful..I'm learning alot. Thank you so much poster and thank you Stella.

  21. I'm always looking forward to reading from you.
    Hmmmmmmm, very thought provoking questions you raised ooh!


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