Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Monday, February 01, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmm...This is serious ooooh







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

CHRONICLES THREE MONTHS AFTER WEDDING


Good day Stella and my fellow bvs I greet u all.. 


 Stella pls keep me anonymous. Its going to be a very long write up please bear with me.... I never believed I will write a chronicle ever, talk more of one barely three months after my wedding . 


Stella I was dating this guy for seven years( its true u will never know someone no matter how long u stay with them) , I was so in love with him, I practically worshipped the very ground he stepped on, he completed me in all levels, he likes n my likes are mostly the same, we enjoyed each other company so much we think 24hrs isn't enough in a day for us... 


He is not that buoyant, so we do everything equally, when we paid for our house, furnished it, all the expenses n chores was done equally, he loves helping out in d kitchen too n that made me love him even more, it wasn't all lovey dove though Cos we do have issues of our own, these issues comes with his temper, anything can flare him up, later it generated to beating me when I talk back at him too, several times I fought him back, I slapped him in one occasion, we sometimes find injuries on our bodies after struggling for one thing or the other, but we don't allow any issue reach the next day.


One person calms down n apologize for peace to reign in which I do that mostly.. This issues are mostly about other woman, the way he chats with them, the calls at night, the one that gets me mad is knowing they visited his house at one point or the other, there was a case he lied to me about a girl he was dating, he told me the girl was married and with a kid, while the girl is a single mom and she does come to the house to visit him and if am around I cook for us all and she eats, I didn't know I was serving my rival until the day the girl came to his house and met me there, she was now asking me on tips to make my boyfriend date her completely (posting her on WhatsApp n maybe introducing her to his friends n stuff) he referred to my boyfriend as my brother..


  I was lost as to what she meant, that's when I got to know that my boyfriend told her that am his cousin that usually comes by to see him n I like calling him pet names because am that fun playing kinda person n that's how I was to her because a friendship he brought home even to my presence I believed he has nothing to hide, me on my side he showed me a chat he made with her asking her about her husband n she said he is fine n he is sleeping next to her, I never knew my boyfriend calls her son her husband n never he asks about that she responds Cus she knows who he is referring to, when he showed me that chat that was when I believed she was married n became comfy with her not knowing she is my rival.. 


After that issue he begged n I forgave that, I even took him to her place to apologize to her for hurting her feelings, then we were like 5years in d relationship... During the 6th year another girl cropped up, calls at night, chats that seem normal but d calls were annoying, especially I don't sleep over at his place often but whenever I do she calls, that shows she calls everyday before going to bed probably, I complained n complained, he said she is his school mate in the uni, they met again n exchanged numbers n there is nothing between them Cus she was his friend girlfriend back then in school, I believed him n tried to disregard any ill thought n believe in bro code that he wont date her no matter, later she visited the house that we were furnishing as our matrimonial home after the Wedding..


  I was mad, I was like how do u bring a girl to a matrimonial we just furnished that we haven't even moved in, that was when I asked him to end that friendship, since it has lead to him lying, desecrating our to b home, I don't need her around any more, he said ok n ended things, not knowing they were still meeting up n chatting (he deletes them) and block her before meeting me, so her messages won't enter, they even visited that house countless times at my back n i didn't know all these ( our finger prints are registered in each other phone, so I can check his phone anytime n he mine, u see why he deletes them n block her?) ..



 After 2months we got married n moved into our house n we were so happy( so I thought) he can't get his hands off me, always wanting sex, cuddles, hugs etc n I was always there to meet him, even mornings that i am never in d mood, I let him make love to me regardless, after two months of blissful marriage we were called back to camp, i am batch A 2020 corps member, so my dashboard showed I should b in camp on 30th January 2021, I went for camp that morning I worked for my exit n left camp but I told him I will b staying for at least 3 days before leaving camp, that's because I intended to surprise him, I planned to come back home before he gets back from work, enter n lock the door n remove my keys n wait for him to come back so I can scare him...


  he scared me last time n I told him my own will be epic he wont predict it, I was so happy I will beat him on that, i will shock him, rather I was the shocked one, it was the case of the shocker getting shocked, I came back n saw his car outside I was surprised Cus I know he comes back late, so how is he home by 6pm, anyways I said he will still b shocked because i spoke to him less than an hour ago n told him I just left he hostel heading to maami to eat, so he will really be shocked to see me. 


 As i opened the door, I went looking for him, only to see him and that girl ( ex school mate/ friend ex girlfriend bla bla bla) she was wearing pantries n husband was on boxers n there the were smoking weed, eating ice cream, laughing n dancing.. That I didn't faint was God's grace.. He saw me n was holding me back so I won't hit the girl but the girl wasn't my issue, she wasn't the one that promised me forever, she isn't the one that owes me faithfulness but my husband, so I pushed him away and went out and locked the door...


  I called his parents n they said they were coming to our house, my brother called me at that time, I asked him to come over to my house Cus i don't what I was seeing, tears were flowing n I couldn't speak to them, he too was too ashamed to say a thing, all he was saying was " pls calm down pls calm down".

 When everyone came to d house , the father slapped my husband n ask him why he wants to ruin him, my father inlaw is a pastor at deeper life so u can imagine seeing his son in that mess n coupled with the fact that they were smoking weed, the mother was crying beside me that was shedding tears, my brother was puzzled, the girl was begging on the floor n crying..


she was asked if she knew he was married n she said yes n that they started as friends with benefits before he wedded but after the wedding they started having feelings for each other, and my husband said he doesn't love her that she is the one that has feelings for him...

  it was a roller coaster between them n we were watching them disgracing them selves, my father in law wanted to lock the girl up but I refused, he quarreled with the girl n was preaching how what she did was wrong, finally he listened to my plea n let her go, they quarreled with my husband n he was begging them n me.... 


This went on till 2am, to end this long story the father asked me to forgive him n take him back n go build my home n endure. I didn't expect to b enduring a marriage Instead of enjoying it n not this early.. I can't bring my mind to forgive him.. 


This is someone I thought even if he betrayed me in friendship he won't betray me in marriage, because he told me not once that he can never cheat in marriage, knowing he has been doing it before n after marriage shocked my whole existence.. I have done nothing but support him, pray for him n always make him priority even before our marriage, we are married traditional but our white wedding is due march.. 



I Am thinking God showed me this now so I won't make mistake of wedding in church, since its trad we can give him back his bride price and walk....... I am confused on what to do, one thing am certain is I can never trust him, in fact now his face n breath disgust me.. 

When he begs n touches me I warn him not to do that Cus I feel like the girl is all over him... 


Stella n my fellow bvs pls tell me the way forward... I can't even eat, I don't have appetite.. I can't pray, I haven't even bath.. I feel numb n empty.. I keep wandering where things went wrong when we have been living in peace... Is it any fault of mine?? Sorry for the long write up.. I am just a mess right now...





*WHAT A MESS!!!...one chance!

Before you married him, he brought a woman into the home you were fixing to be your matrimonial home and you forgave him so what did you expect? he has brought it into the matrimonial home now and you have a choice to either forgive him and wait until you catch him or you take that bold step and walk away from this bullshit and STD loading...

121 comments:

  1. You saw the signs and you remained. Continue carrying your cross. Una no dey ever learn.

    And nobody should tell me I'm harsh. For her to send this means she has most likely been a BV for long and has read the experiences of others. These chronicles are not for gist. They are for all to learn lessons. Haba!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster when i was reading this post i thought you were with my ex.

      Pls move on. U saw the signs but i believed you dnt want to throw away the years you have been with him. Your husband is a CHEAT and will always cheat on you. U deserve better.

      Good luck.

      Delete
    2. This is dead already. He beats you, he weeds, his a liar and he cheats and you still want to marry. I pity you.

      Delete
    3. Lol.. The shocker got shocked by the shockee.

      Delete
    4. I'm sorry but I don't pity you. You're thinking God showed you so you don't go ahead with the Chruch wedding? What do you think he was showing before you married him traditionally? Air head! Like your FIL said, endure. You and I both know you won't leave that marriage, you stayed put for 7 years with correct beatings. I'm so upset. Off to chew some ice.

      Delete
    5. Take it from a woman who forgave infidelity 3wks to her wedding (my biggest mistake ever).
      Now is the time to walk away, that man will never change... you made the mistake of forgiving and taking him back during courtship so expect more to come.
      Your husband is a badly raised/damaged man, this is whom he is.
      I wish I saw the signs during courtship, but there was no trace and I was team "no snoop", I only snooped 3wks to our wedding, and I almost collapsed. I wish I had called it off and moved on because 1yr later, I am in deep mess.
      Please move out and move on

      Delete
    6. Anonymous 16:45, even if you moved on who says you would have met a man who would be faithful to you? You had that experience, this poster has a similar experience, a lot of ladies who write in Chronicles have same experience. When you all say ladies should move on, leave, etc are you sure of where you will be moving to?? It is not as easy as y'all say it. Leave to where? Move on to who? Some times it could even be a move from bad to worse. It can also be a move from bad to perfect, but no one can tell. It is just like the toss of a coin 50-50. If you are willing to take that chance, then that's fine. Or maybe we should start advocating for ladies to stop getting married, abi?

      Delete
    7. 17:17 If you want to advocate for ladies to stop getting married then you would have to advocate for men too to stay single... because these men you all are accusing of cheating are not cheating with their fellow men they are cheating with women like you. They cheat with single women who have boyfriends and married women who has husbands at home. Don't we read Anonymous night post? So what will both gender do? Or is it because men do not complain or most do not catch their wives thinking she is innocent? The women they are cheating with is also someone else's woman Nah. Let's talk true biko
      She said she forgave him three weeks to her wedding which proves the lady her intended husband cheated on her with was someone else's woman and the side chick guy will be someone thinking his girl is an angel.
      Maybe everyone should just dey their dey

      Delete
    8. How do you marry someone who beats you and you caught cheating and lying...bringing the woman to your house right under your nose and making you cook for her...hmmmmm...it is well.

      Poster take heart...it has happened it has happened. You need to sit down and decide if you can manage him like that or leave. If i were you i would leave since there are no kids.

      Delete
    9. Anon 15.08, thank you very much, you just spoke my mind

      Delete
    10. Poster, as a man, I know almost all men cheat, e 3n the best of them...a lot of women cheat too. Now that being said, I would have said stick around since you say he treats you well and is loving. But where me I washed my hands off this your relationship is the domestic violence and the manner in which he does it. Boys will play, but when the 0lay gets rough like this...hmmm. All the people I know that bring women to their matrimonial homes have rocky marraiges. it just shows the level 9f callousness and disrespect for the marraige and in turn for you. Me sef dey play, but as I am not married yet I can't bring a side chic to the house even for 30mins. Then he beats again....if you can start afresh.

      Delete
    11. How can you marry him with such toxicity? What were you expecting??God is not just showing you now,you have seen it since the beginning,the writing is BOLDER on the wall now,go ahead and MAKE YOUR DECISION!

      Delete
    12. Thank you anon 18:02. Maybe all men should start divorcing the mothers of their kids too and bring another woman home because their wives cheated and let's see if the next woman they marry will be angels. Most of my friends cheat and they are married men and women. It not my fault that I am friends with these people but it is just the society we found ourselves in. People truly lack morals and it shows not only in their personal lives but their everyday dealings. We live in a corrupt society. I remember my oldest friend that we settled the quarell between her and her husband 16 years ago. She has four children, two girls and two boys all preteens at the time the man caught her. The man forgave her at last when his other friends started talking and they told him in our presence that it rains everywhere but they decided not to air dirty linen outside and forgave their wives. This was back then when women weren't bold with their own immoral ways. Everyone was shocked and immediately they settled. My friend and her husband are still together till date they even celebrated their anniversary not too long. Most of these marriages you see in the society today are patch patch marriages except the few lucky ones. I think it is high time people who love cheating just form a special group and embrace open marriages if they know they love varieties so others who have contentment can meet themselves.

      Poster, most people forgive and tolerate their cheating partner everyday and act like they are living in paradise online to pepper others or delude themselves. It is obvious you do not belong to that group of people which means you already know what to do. We still have men and women who are faithful but to get them...you want God to give you one of his children you also have to be closer to God and be in tune to the holy spirit so as to hear his voice when he calls and direct you away from danger. When God gives you signs be it through dreams or real life situation make sure you obey. If he could fornicate with you before marriage then he will cheat on you after it is as simple as that. You were not married when he slept with you so why should sleeping with others he is not married to after your marriage surprise you. Stop being hypocritical. Get close to God and let him direct you and get away from sin yourself, live for God and watch him give you the best.

      Delete
    13. You should have left when domestic violence entered the equation.

      Delete
  2. Funny thing is you saw all the signs, domestic violence, cheating, and all sorts and still went ahead to marry him. Carry your cross and endure as your FIL has said or bow out now, it's your choice...if you stay, be ready to deal with more infidelities cos it will surely happen again, plus gonorrhea and syphilis.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The man chose the lady who was ready to deal with and forgive his nonsense

      Delete
    2. Comments should come with like oo. I need to like this several times.

      Palapala! Weed, cheat, assault!!!

      Delete
  3. Women don’t learn. Coconut heads. You always think your own will be different.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow true talk. We always feel our own will be different.

      Delete
    2. True talk BB,let her endure after all she has been enduring for 7years.

      Delete
    3. Stupid girl feeling like the chosen one, he chose you because you are a mugu , you better dump him and move on

      Delete
    4. They always feel good being chosen...until they realised they were the dumbest of the lot.

      Delete
  4. Three months...Sis you know what to do. Don't carry a load that will break you. You can never trust that guy again.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You knew exactly who he was and you married him anyway. When a man shows you who he is believe him.

    ReplyDelete
  6. And your parents said you should endure. Hmm

    Poster, are you legally married to him? I.e. are there court documents proving you're married to him. If no, then plead with your family to return the bride price. It's not too late.

    But una sef, the signs were there and you still remained. You think marriage is like a magic wand that once you get married, a cheat would become faithful?

    ReplyDelete
  7. This story is a typical example of "most of our problems are gotten with our own hands". So because you dated for 7years you still went ahead to marry him even with all the red and black colours you were seeing.

    Sad thing is someone else might be in this same situation and would read this and still go ahead. Is peace of mind not better than being married.

    That man showed you who he really was, you were just to desperate to accept it and to you that lady and the rest he was frolicking with was like a challenge to you and at the end i'm sure you thought you won. Sadly this cross is till death do you part, except you get tired and leave. I am not sorry for you cause you brought this mess on you. Enjoy your bliss.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They've not wedded in church. There's no till death do anything part.
      Lmao @ challenge. She even called them rivals.
      Wetin musa no go see for gate.
      This posters ex husband will sleep with all her friends and sisters join.
      Better chronicle dey load.
      It's better you grow old single than marry this person you just described up there

      Delete
    2. A Church wedding is not any more superior to a traditional wedding. As a matter-of-fact, it is inferior to a traditional wedding. If you read your Bible very well, you will realize that the wedding Jesus attended was a traditional wedding (Jewish tradition).

      Delete
  8. Poster wether you wed him in church or not, you guys are married. Abi him no pay your bride price? African woman no dey leave marriage because of cheating oo
    Biko forgive the badoski you married ๐Ÿคฃ the guy na champion for the business mehn ๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  9. Imagine a broke ass cheating!!...
    What would happen if he is wealthy?well Poster,the next man you will meet will still cheat!..
    except those that their wives used pigeon sha...
    I will advise you stay with him,use him as a sperm donor,birth your 2kids immediately and get your self a side cock too...
    Most married women cheat these days because of men's philandering ways....
    Dont leave!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OP
      If you love your life, please don’t take this advice ๐Ÿ˜ณ

      Delete
    2. Lol. You and this your knacking pigeon for head!

      Delete
    3. I hail you queen and boos๐Ÿ™Œ I like how you reason. This is exactly what I plan to do with my man. I will just get pregnant for him, have his two children and then mind my business. He will just be a sperm donor for me henceforth. Oh and I will also find myself a sidecock.

      Delete
    4. @16:23
      And burn in a side hell, right?

      Delete
    5. @Amebowoman, e go shock you. You never see anything. Make you dey take useless advice when better advice dey.
      Before "queen" dey advocate kancking pidgeon for head now she don change to woman compete with man for the cheating game as her pidgeon knacking no fit hold man down again. Hahahahahaha

      Delete
    6. You guys think it’s easy to train kids on your own??? This is why God created a man and a woman! It does not work this way guys. Jeezzzzzzzzzz

      Delete
  10. This is very sad. Just 3 months into the marriage!

    Do what you feel is right.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your father in-law wanted to lock the side chick up for what exactly? He said you should endure abi? Endure it because this Chronicles is just for this moment. You will go back to him and have kids and you will keep crying. Nigerian women endure marriage, we are built to suffer and stay silence. It's sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg speak for yourself Mummy Simache.

      YOU are built for suffering.

      YOU are built fo endure utter rubbish.

      YOU are designed for tears and misery in marriage.

      Not ALL Nigerian men cheat.

      Yes, MOST are dogs but not ALL.

      I affirm what I want and what I will recieve.

      Certainly, not this utter rubbish.


      If I cannot recieve the very best then I would prefer to stay single.

      If I was not wailing and gnashing my teeth as a single person, if I wasnt suffering through embarrassment and a buffet of STDS as a single person, then why should 'marriage' offer a lifetime of turmoil? Why? To answer Mrs???

      God forbid.

      I would rather die single.

      Thank you.

      Delete
    2. Anon 15:44

      Beloved, you couldn’t detect the sarcasm in simache’s comment? She was just being sardonic and you took her quite literally.

      Delete
    3. Calm down, I didn't say our suffering is good. Read before you bark.

      Delete
    4. Anon 15:44 lmao calm down before you give yourself blood pressure. Trust me all and I mean ALL men cheat so stop being delusional. You can affirm what you want but your man will either cheat on you, beat you, be lazy, keep malice or any other flaw that you will have to endure. No man is perfect. You are the type of person that will paint a picture perfect image of your marriage and keep living in denial even if you know your husband is cheating. I pity you.

      Delete
    5. Annon 15:44
      I love you...
      You said it all

      Delete
    6. 16:28 it is obvious you are a man but not all men cheat o. Please have mercy on the few men who do not and stop lying on their heads. Fear God uncle. But you are right about them having other flaws. No one is perfect truly.
      My sister boyfriend when they were dating does not eat outside throughout the time they dated he refused to go to the eatery or outside restaurant. He wasn't stingy he gave her money but never eats outside. She would thank God and say she married well. No problem Nah. Dating too he refused her sex my sister will tell me she is suspecting that he cannot get it up. That if he refuses and not allow her test his engine before marriage she will cancel everything. This same man broke up with her for trying to seduce him. He said the spirit if lust in her wants to corrupt him. We begged and they started afresh. He told her he will never share his unclothedness with anyone who is not his wife. If she cannot hold herself she should get lost. We encouraged her to marry him that she can run away later if he was hiding something. They got married and he was perfect down there and she brags about him on bed but the man was not perfect in other areas after all. This man does not joke with food ooo. He can wake her up to cook at 11 pm or 2.am. He likes food more than anything in the world. Chaii Though He doesn't smoke, drink or club and a prayer warrior. It is like they use food to swear for him. The funny thing is he does not eat outside so she must cook 24/7. Light meals oo heavy heavy meals and anytime he wants it he get it no matter what she is doing at that point. They have kids and she work, no nanny but all the house chores with the school runs and kitchen duties is on her neck.
      One day he prevented her from going to work because of food oo
      She already woke up 4 am to cook rice oga said he wanted pounded yam. At 30 she developed high blood pressure due to stress. She nows feels bad that he does not like eating out at least they would order for takeaways.

      Anon 15:44 can get a man who does not cheat if that is what she wants but he fit get him own for body sha

      There are men who do not cheat but they may fall short in areas where men who cheat thrives.
      Stella no vex๐Ÿ˜˜

      Delete
    7. People who cheat finds it hard to believe there is a human being out there who does not cheat. An alien maybe but a human being, never. They just cannot process it or understand how someone can have such morals they lack so anon 17:28 do not bother trying to open their eyes to the truth they have vowed never to see. Even if you attach them to your sister's husband apron and they stalk him everyday for many years they will still say he probably cheated when they blinked their eyelids so they missed the act of adultery while it was going on or they will tell you he will still cheat before he leaves this world.๐Ÿ™†‍♀️ one thing I have noticed is that People judge others based on their own moral weight using their own moral compass. u will see some people still come here to argue or create a false impression of the man you just described and tell you he cheats like they know him better than you do. One thing I have noticed people who say all men cheat also have questionable character.

      Delete
    8. 16:28 Lollllll have you finished pitying yourself and the lifetime of misery that you are ensnared in?
      Lifetime.
      Misery.
      Ensnared.
      Forever.
      And Ever.
      Till death do you part.
      Enjoy.
      LMAOOOOO

      Delete
    9. Annon 16:28 just wallow in your delusion. There are many men who dont cheat...just speak for yourself and your kind.

      Delete
  12. ๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽถ Please Play Craig David - I am walking away and Tina Turner - What's love gotta do with it๐ŸŽถ๐ŸŽถ

    ReplyDelete
  13. My dear please forgive him,I like the fact that his parents were against him and he was remorseful.please .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wonderment!

      Remorseful after several cheating "caught" plus weed ๐Ÿคฎ

      Delete
  14. Girl I’m sorry but I can’t help but put some blame on you.
    The moment he put hands on you and disrespected you to the maximum degree by bringing his side chick to your house under false pretense(and you cooked for her!!!) was the moment you should have walked.

    I don’t know what kind of love that would let anyone tolerate that sheer level of disrespect. It’s still not too late to walk.

    ReplyDelete
  15. What a pathetic story.
    Just know that you are married to this man since he paid your bride price.
    Talking about "not cheating in marriage?"
    What is missing here is the creator of us all and the institution called marriage.
    How can a young person keep his way pure; by giving heed to your word. Ps. 119:9.
    If there is no word of God in ones life, he/she cannot keep a pure way; chastity!
    And what happened during those 7 years of dating, did you both honor God with your bodies?
    The only remediable way forward is for you both to give your lives to Christ and work out your salvation by
    the discipline of Christ; fasting, praying and studying the Word of God.
    Any thing aside from that is futile.
    ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And if the man refuses to “give his life to Christ and work out his salvation...”, what should she do? Should she remain and continue to endure indefinite abuse and infidelity while committing her husband to “God’s hands” or should she walk out of an obviously toxic and tainted marriage?

      Delete
    2. And if the man refuses to “give his life to Christ and work out his salvation...”, what should she do? Should she remain and continue to endure indefinite abuse and infidelity while committing her husband to “God’s hands” or should she walk out of an obviously toxic and tainted marriage?

      Delete
    3. @Snarker
      What is your definition of "toxic?" I ask because, this marriage is beyond "toxic,"
      It is, humanly speaking a failed marriage. I am more interested in their being sexually active
      during those dating because that is where the foundation gets destroyed.
      Please, talking about "toxicity" here is like talking about retrieving the documents in a totally
      burnt down house. But you know what? Jesus can rebuild this house. It all depends on those involved.
      The decision you are asking about is hers alone to make. No one should stampede her into making it.
      And please tread softly, before you add "narcissist, abusive, useless..." to your "toxicity"
      It has become a mantra of sort.๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

      Delete
  16. Why did you not send the chronicle before doing the traditional wedding? A lot of you think that white wedding is the ultimate. The moment your bride price is paid, Aunty you are married o. Forget the scam of dowry being returned. In the eyes of God, consent has been given. When you should have sent the chronicle, you did not send you where forming I have it all under control. Now nah you want people to tell you to leave. It’s time to go pray and endure o. All the signs were there but u ignored. Despite all the stories people bring here, we never learn from them. We all keep making the same mistake over and over again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But Jesus okays divorce under the condition of adultery so she can still leave

      Delete
    2. I tire. Immediately bride price has been paid u are married aunty. White wedding is just paparazzi. Read your bible. Bible recognises dowry payment as married.

      Delete
    3. @ Snarker, so you think this poster will leave? What changed? She endured for 7years, why can't she keep enduring? Oh lawd! If you were my sister, I'll beat you to stupor. I loathe nonsense!

      Delete
  17. God gave you signs over and over and over again but you kept ignoring. You are still there asking questions if you should continue with the white wedding or not. Be asking you hear?
    ๐Ÿšถ‍♂️๐Ÿšถ‍♂️๐Ÿšถ‍♂️
    Your last paragraph though. What do you mean you have been living in peace? Is it the illusion of peace you created that you were making a reference to? That boy never gave you peace from the start of your relationship till marriage but you kept holding unto him.
    If he betrays you in friendship you think he won't betray you in marriage? What is the difference? You were both supposed to be exclusive during your dating years and same in marriage so you should know there would be no difference in his ways.

    Let him go. A man who cheats can kill his wife. You are not safe in that marriage. He even brings them home. May you meet the one that will poison your food or take your Indies to babalawo
    ๐Ÿšถ‍♂️๐Ÿšถ‍♂️๐Ÿšถ‍♂️

    ReplyDelete
  18. I don't know why you held on to him for so long. He hasn't done anything different from the time you two dated. Still same guy with same attitude. I really don't know why and how you held onto him this long. I can tell you he isn't stopping anytime soon, he'll just get better at hiding it and worse still maybe after you have had his child, he won't even bother hiding it anymore and you'll be miserable but I forbid it on your behalf.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I don't pity you at all. Mtcheew. You knew he was a serial cheater. The red flags were clear but you chose to ignore them. If you stay he will keep cheating he will just find better ways to hide it. By the way don't think because he said he loves that girl that means he loves you. He doesn't love you. I can assure you that. Just because a man marries you doesn't mean he loves you but we are not ready for this conversation. If you leave him just watch him go back to the girl he denied to love.

    ReplyDelete
  20. But you saw the signs ooh. But you wanted to be married!
    Now you are in a mess!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. You saw the signs and yet you went ahead to marry him. We keep repeating same advice over and over and over again but una no go hear. Una go wan kee una self untop man matter..women sha..smh. Make una receive sense oo, this is 2021.

    ReplyDelete
  22. This his how my ex husband humiliated his sidechick by saying she was the one going after him only for me to found out years later that he impregnated her. They have three kids now. 4,3, and 1 year olds. My dear pack your things and leave that marriage. He doesn't love you, if he did he wouldn't have cheated on you. The only reason he denied the girl is because of what people would say. Same thing my husband did yet later went to the girl to beg and now they have 3 children. I have moved on but one thing I have learned is no to trust a word a man says.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Who raise these men.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Poster, you knew this guy was a philanderer with a bad attitude and you still went on to marry him!

    I don't even want to imagine how you felt seeing your husband who's a deeper life pastor son almost naked with another woman and smoking marijuana barely three months after your marriage ceremony.

    What do you really want?!
    Do you want to pray over it and ask the Lord for direction or you want to let him be and bid your infant marriage goodbye?

    Whatever decision you take, make sure it will not be one that will take your peace away or cost you your happiness. You're still too young to be battling side chicks and marijuana smoking husband.
    The reason why he flare up most times, its because he's missing his marijuana! Will you be able to put up with that?

    Please, go and take a warm or cool bath and adorn yourself with clean clothes and with a nicely smelling aroma. Eat and stop crying, I don't think that man deserve your tears.

    May the Lord strengthen you and show you the way out of this mess
    Sending you love and light ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’•

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Once a cheat, always a cheat...
      I wonder why women think a guy who cheats when single, won't do same when married?

      I was in a similar situation, cheating, brought in babymama and all..6 years...I was already turning stupid, until he raised his hands against me for the first time. And my senses corrected. That was the end...it took a kick from him to get my senses rearranged.

      We are all married to different people now. His wife can surely tolerate his excesses because they never change...I am happy where I am too...I look back and I thank God for the day he hit me, because maybe my senses wouldn't have come back.

      Delete
  25. The signs were there before the wedding but you thought marriage will change him.

    Dear, Marriage doesnt change rather it reveals the hidden secret, meanwhile your own secret had been reveal before the marriage, but I guess you were in a hurry to add the Mrs. to your name.

    You have not wedded in the Church and the Father is a Pastor and you have started to cohabit. The decision is there for you o, nobody can make any choice for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Talking trash. Traditional marriage is the main marriage. White wedding is white people's culture. In the eyes of God and man she is a married woman. Yes his pastor parents cannot ask them to live apart because they are married

      Delete
  26. You saw all this and you still went ahead to marry him. Endure for the rest of your life or divorce now that it is not too late. With time he will stop apologising and tell you to do your worst especially after you have given birth. By the way you cant compete with his weed partners except you join them and your children becomes Nairamarley.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am happy that a lot of people now know that even from the bible,
    payment of Bride Price is the marriage. It means we are learning and
    making progress. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

    ReplyDelete
  28. Madam what do you mean by you never thought you'd send a chronicle, I wish you'd send a chronicle since. You shot yourself on the foot.
    Most ladies taking the role of furnishing their marital home with a man, 99.9% of the time this is how it ends. Why? I strongly dnt believe in it tho.
    Lucky for you, you can still end this. His parents would like to convince you with bible verses and all on why you should forgive him but honey don't give in.
    Walk away cause this won't end anytime soon.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Singles should please learn, you are not God so stop marrying people you cant live with and praying for a change.

    ReplyDelete
  30. My dear, Abort mission ASAP.

    Too many Red flags from your first paragraph. When you said that you worship the ground he walks on, I knew exactly how it will end.
    You both are violent with each other and you obviously think it normal and went ahead to marry him regardless.

    The relationship between you and that man is CODEPENDENT and TOXIC. You feel like he’s the great love of your life, you both understand each other, you are best friends, he’s your soulmate, you can’t live without him. Because of this, it will be very easy for you to forgive whatever he does. I can swear that you’re thinking right now of forgiving him. You think you can never find someone that you mesh with as much as you mesh with him. You can do anything for him.

    I’ve been in your exact same shoes. Only difference is that the day he hit me, I decided I was leaving. Infact I moved to a whole other state. We both cried and cried as I was leaving, almost as if we were going to cry blood. Also I never caught him pants down with a lady, but there were questionable chats which he always had an excuse for. Yes, I always had his passwords.

    My dear, this marriage will not work despite all the feelings involved. You NEED to move along! It will hurt like hell for a long time. Several times you will be ready to go back. But my love, it will not work. This boy Don see you finish. He knows you think the sun rises and sets on his a**.
    Thank God you haven’t done court wedding.
    If only you would listen and leave. If only!!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Poster, at this point of the marriage-3 months with no kids involved- it is very easy for you to back out if you want to. You saw the signs before you got married to him, but decided to still go ahead with marriage. I will not blame you as others will. I know it is never easy to throw away 7 years of dating and also, everyone has one issue or the other.

    Alternatively, you can forgive and decide to start afresh with him hoping and believing that he is truly sorry and this would never happen again. As a man advising, I can pretty much tell you that the chances of him changing from his ways is pretty slim.

    Before you make any decision, I will suggest that you give yourself some time to clear your head and reflect on what happened, what future you want for yourself going forward and what you intended to do concerning marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Whatever you see before marriage will be more pronounced im marriage this fact never gets old.
    Now you've seen the real him wgich by the way you saw long time ago it's left for you to make your choice.
    I'm also concerned about the traits of voilence?

    ReplyDelete
  33. I posted a long comment and I hope it gets posted.

    I’ve been in your exact shoes. Leave this relationship alone. It will not end well. The road is too long to recovery. I wish I could talk to you one on one.

    ReplyDelete
  34. How can u blindly marry someone that introduced you as his cousin to his sidechick, anyways as it is, u are free to end the marriage if it's ok by you. Bcoz this man is a chronic womanizer, he can never change except God steps in.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Why are you pretending like you just discovered something new? He has been cheating from the beginning of your relationship and bringing girls home, and now you're acting surprised like something new happened.

    We know you're not going to leave him, so stop with the drama and lay on the bed you've laid.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Women! when will we ever put ourselves first, the signs are always there from the start but we either chose to ignore or tell ourselves we can manage.

    I painfully broke up with my fiance this year because i knew i was about the make the biggest mistake of my life of i married him, ouf marriage is due in 3 months, we were together for 5years, he is manipulative, keeps malice (i always do the begging) he never accept that he is wrong, he never supported my business or career, he will rather give negative remarks and tell me 100 reasons why it might not work, we broke up at a point, i later discovered he came back to me because of genotype compatibility (he is As ,i am AA) he doesn't compliment me niether does he make me feel loved or appreciated, the matter long .

    The mistake you made was not leaving the first time he disrespected you by cheating and bringing women to your to be matrimonial home, you can still take that bold step and leave, this is the right/best time. His parents will definitely tell you to stay but you are the one hurting and trust me, at a point they won't answer you any more when you complain, then will say your wahala is too much.

    He won't change..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Anonymous 15:49, please give us an update when you find a new man and get married to him. I pray he turns out to be what you desire in a marriage. Stories of you leaving a 5year old relationship, which has marriage due in 3 months, to get married to someone who turns out to meet your marriage desire will serve to inspire other here.

      Delete
    2. @anon 17:35, if I catch you ehn. Truth is always bitter though

      Delete
    3. Anon17.35...I left. 6 year relationship, he has gone to see my dad, we were waiting for his family to officially show up and set date. All this was after forgive him get a child and hiding it for 2 years, numerous cheating...I was scared of starting over to be honest. It took him hearing me once and that was the end... my dear, 2 years after the break up, I got married and to God who made me, I no longer hold any grudges against my ex...in short now , I am grateful for that singular incidence of him kicking me ,if not I won't have had sense and the mind to get out. He is married now, he married one of the ladies he claimed was his prayer partner while we were dating...the side chick ,or maybe I was the side chick after he met her too.

      And yes, my husband doesn't cheat,that doesn't mean he is perfect , no one is, no violence, no cheating , ever supportive and all.. so yes, some do step out of toxic situations and are super glad they did..I am an example of that.

      Delete
    4. 23:41.
      I'm not 17:35.
      What I am is so proud of you.
      I'm here bursting with pride like I even know you.
      God with you.

      Delete
    5. @anon...02.11

      I will not lie, it was so hard...babymama drama, numerous cheating, haaa...I forgave like assistant angel...lord have mercy. He wasn't violent towards me all through the 6 years but it seems God knew I was entering where was not meant for me. I still believe God made him hit me, over a simple sentence, "it is okay" while trying to diffuse an ugly unnecessary arguement as usual. I look back and I am super grateful for that incident, if not it would have being terrible.

      Today, I am married, connected with my husband, who proposed a month after and we married barely 6 months after proposal.
      Best decision of my relationship life, blessed and wonderful inlaws, my hubusband is much more than I would have asked for...does everything within his power to make me achieve my dreams, no cheating, zero selfishness, focused...till tomorrow I am the social media person...many men cheat but if 99.9% of men cheat, my hubby is the 0.1 that doesn't. We have access to each others phones, no need snooping, his phone and mine hardly rings, if it rings it is family calling...abeg. it rain every where but some are protected under the shadow of the almighty. Just like noah and the ark, some will get on the boat and survive the flood.. I survived the flood. Thanks be to God.

      Delete
  37. You can still walk away please, I’m so scared for you getting infected with STD. You should have broken up the first day he hit you,why endure so much for a man who doesn’t deserve you?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Women! when will we ever put ourselves first, the signs are always there from the start but we either chose to ignore or tell ourselves we can manage.

    I painfully broke up with my fiance this year because i knew i was about the make the biggest mistake of my life of i married him, ouf marriage is due in 3 months, we were together for 5years, he is manipulative, keeps malice (i always do the begging) he never accept that he is wrong, he never supported my business or career, he will rather give negative remarks and tell me 100 reasons why it might not work, we broke up at a point, i later discovered he came back to me because of genotype compatibility (he is As ,i am AA) he doesn't compliment me niether does he make me feel loved or appreciated, the matter long .

    The mistake you made was not leaving the first time he disrespected you by cheating and bringing women to your to be matrimonial home, you can still take that bold step and leave, this is the right/best time. His parents will definitely tell you to stay but you are the one hurting and trust me, at a point they won't answer you any more when you complain, then will say your wahala is too much.

    He won't change..

    ReplyDelete
  39. all the signs were there from say 1, take a long walk away from these mess, go to your room cry cry cry some more then start thanking God for saving you. you will find a good man in the future. This one na dog wey tail go always shake.

    ReplyDelete
  40. poster this ur chronicle is long n heart breaking.its not easy dating someone for 7yrs.its such a long time o.. I know it's gonna be so hard to move on and start afresh with someone else. no matter the advice we give u here, it still boils down to you to take a decision.. pray and listen to your heart. it will direct you

    ReplyDelete
  41. Give him a second chance and monitor him. If refuses to change, then take a walk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. After 7 years?? My goodness some of you women are just like this poster. No backbone. Weak minded!!!

      Delete
    2. 23:43 olomo is a man and not a woman.

      Delete
  42. This relationship started out on three legs. Forget the cheating you were fighting each other physically, why would that seem remotely normal in a loving home. He does not appear to be emotionally or spiritually bonded to you. I believe he has outgrown you, and perhaps did not know how to untangle himself after seven years. This is why living honestly is so important, because marrying you has overcomplicated the situation, now you have father-in-law telling you to endure because he doesn't want any disgrace. You see what he said, if he wanted to finish him, he wanted to arrest the girl and telling you to endure, even those ppl are looking out for their own selves and their reputation not you and your joy. Do I see this relationship turning around, not really. I think your man has lost the love and there cannot be any respect in a relationship when you are fighting each other, that is the lowest you can get as a couple. Now, I am not God, but I would say at least separate and call off the white wedding, you can use Covid as excuse if you are getting pressured.

    I don't care the length of a marriage if abuse is involved in it that is a dead zone to me and not worth salvaging. The open cheating is disgusting especially in the honeymoon period, but you guys have been an item for seven years so there is likely no honeymoon period in his mind. This is not a spiritual marriage, it just something two ppl decided to do. Separate and figure out your mind and go with what your heart tells you to.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Abeg, leave all these people advising you to stay. Did they all miss the fact that domestic violence is involved too. They fight and injure one another. The man is a community dick so STD is involved. Traditional marriage is easy to back out from. Your pastor father in law will tell his daughter to come home if tables were turned. If u get HIV or worse diseases or even get beaten to death,all these people telling you to stay will call you a fool. Nne God loves you and gave you a chance to see your future. A chronic cheat, who will defile your matrimonial bed, a wife beater , a marijuana addict. Is that the kind of man that will father ur kids and raise them right? Nne runnnnnnnn!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  44. @ poster, I am afraid but if you could endure all the cheating, beatings and drama for 7 whole years then what has changed?? Just 3 months!!! Why not continue to tolerate the cheating and continue to forgive him?

    Honestly, you put yourself in this mess. The time you should have taken a walk you spent patching up a relationship that wasn't worth it.

    My dear ladies, whatever you see in a relationship will likely get worse in marriage.

    Just to let you know that your hubby will never change except he decides to be a better person, he will be more discreet going forward. That is who he is, an unrepentant cheat. If money reach im hand, you go know how far.

    Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best. High BP is a silent killer.

    ReplyDelete
  45. My dear it rains everywhere. Although it may not rain in some places The part I don’t like is the brokeness if he was rich I’ll turn a blind eye not 50/50 shit I can’t o

    ReplyDelete
  46. Poster you are not supposed to be surprised about what your husband did. You saw the signs and the handwriting all over the wall, but you walked right into this mess all by yourself.
    You have yourself to blame. You can't start a home and a married life this way, its way too messy.
    You need to make a solid decision. This man you call a husband isn't ever going to change, he can only pretend for some time and whenever you are not around he will do same, maybe take his girls to hotels. This is one chance.
    Come on poster, the moment he started bringing this girl to your newly furnished home it meant a lot....but...well,I'm even confused.
    Maybe you can manage and forgive him, give it time and you will begin to see him as the loving man you once knew and wanted.
    Again this relationship has always been abusive, there were a lot of red codes you ignored because you thought love was all you needed ??
    Anyway you know what you want and what you can take, so make your decision.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Just walk away,he will never change and that marriage will never remain the same

    ReplyDelete
  48. SERVED YOU RIGHT! DESPERATION! I WANT TO MARRY. He beats you, he cheats on your matrimonial bed, Lord that man has no atom of respect for you. He's broke. That man hates you! He married bcos you can bring money home and can tolerate his bullshit. We all know you will still go back to him. Bye bye. Some women have no shame!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Return the bride price and move ahead with your life. This situationship is extremely toxic - physical abuse, mental torture, infidelity, high risk of STD, lack of respect, zero love...... I can go on and on.
    Your in-laws are begging you to stay to cover their shame. Do you want to trade a lifetime of happiness for someone's happiness. I feel you don't love yourself, because If you do, you will be out of that relationship as at yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Darling, what exactly do you hope to achieve from sending this in? Some form of catharsis, perhaps? I doubt you're really seeking advice because you know the right thing to do. It's a notorious fact that doing the right thing is usually the most difficult thing to do.

    I can't tell you he would change. Though probable, at this stage it is laughable to assume so. We are talking about a young man who grew up under the "tutelage" of his pastor father, of the Deeper Life Church, at that. He knows what's right as a man and a husband. Some men misbehave because they didn't have the privilege of growing up in a family with structure and a healthy moral compass. Don't get me wrong, some pastors's kids do the most but at their core, they know what's right but because people expect them to "zig" they "zag". Your husband has chosen to "zag" and such people remain wilfully obstinate. They've probably heard whatever sermon you want to preach, and are impervious to moral criticisms, so save your Homily and go the practical route. You must make him realise that there are consequences for every action.

    Sweetheart, you cuddled him each time he overstepped during your lengthy courtship. Why, exactly, did you expect any less? You stated that you can never really know a person regardless of how long you date them. While the veracity of that assertion is open for debate, it doesn't apply to your situation because apart from the weed, your baby boy has been painfully consistent. You chose to ignore the obvious and hoped for better days. Alas! Here we are!

    From his actions, it is clear he has little or no respect for you nor the institution of marriage. The choice is yours to remedy that or keep playing the Ostrich. If you forgave him then when you weren't married, it is sound logic that you will forgive him again when passion cools, you're still in shock and upset. There's really nothing we can tell you to do that you will do because, at the end of the day, it's your life. I hope you put yourself first and love yourself enough not to allow anyone treat you less than you deserve.

    e-hugs and kisses.
    Happy New Year darling.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Poster, please forgive him since his father have already intervened, if he tries again then you can now do whatever you like

    ReplyDelete
  52. *sigh* I feel that no matter what we say, you are going to stay with him. Let me instead give you tips to survive:
    1. Save and invest your alawee (without involving your husband).

    2. Make sure you have a source of income throughout this marriage.

    3. Please don't have too many children.

    4. Have regular medical checks.
    God help you.

    ReplyDelete


  53. Maybe you need some time off for yourself. Separate for sometime and see how it goes.
    Don't break off totally for now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She needs to break off completely and time is NOW!!!

      Delete
  54. People rarely change and it's ridiculous when people think marriage would change a person. Practice makes perfect, that one cheats all through the relationship won't change cos he got married, infact, the person would be a pro in hiding it which is a talent gotten from his experience from hiding it all through the relationship. That a person didn't practice faithfulness or other necessary good attitude during a relationship, how would such person become perfect in it..

    Critically analysis the situation and do whatever you think you won't regret.

    Peace

    ReplyDelete
  55. All the signs were there for crying out loud. You still proceeded! Why were you shocked? Smh. Your father in law wanted to lock the girl up for what exactly? Nonsense and ingredients. I would say leave that sham of a marriage but I don't think you have the liver.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Signs are everywhere but you couldn't see it because you want to answer Mrs. More cheating is coming after white wedding just watch and see.

    Oga doesn't respect nor value you at all. If you decide to stay goodluck but if you decide to walk away all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Can’t even read this to the end. He was cheating and even beating you. Pls tell me how did you not expect to write a chronicle? Pls no pity here

    ReplyDelete
  58. a man knows within a yr if he wants to marry you. if he is not proposing 2 yrs into it then he is still looking for his wife. in the event he settles, it will be out of being unable to find what he thinks is a better fit.

    ReplyDelete
  59. there’s no legal paper yet though so you can still return the bride price and leave this man. Poster this is probably the final warning sign before the official marriage. If you go ahead with this Marriage, sha be prepared weller and tie your wrapper well. And don’t forget to send more shocking Chronicle(s) to us. Yeye woman with low self worth.

    ReplyDelete
  60. If you love yourself and your peace of mind.GET OUT OF THERE .RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.YOU DESERVE BETTER.RUN RUN RUN before it is too late....May God compensateand restore the years you spent with him.7 years is small compared to forever ooo.He doesn't respect and value you.He sees you as a pushover that allow him do whatever he wants!!!MADAM you are valuable to God!!!Dont settle for nonsense when you can have a beautiful life...Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  61. RETURN THE BRIDE PRICE, TAKE YOUR OWN MONEY OUT OF THE HOUSE BY SELLING ALL THE THINGS AND TAKING 3/4 AND COLLECTING YOUR HALF OF THE RENT AND TAKE A WALK.

    The man beats you
    The man lies to you
    The man disrespect you
    The man cheats on you

    If you stay, it shows you accept the behavior and it will continue. If you leave, it shows you don't accept the behavior and it serves as a serious warning for the next man who comes into your life that you don't take nonsense.

    Leave. God did not join the two of you, you forced this marriage because of time you spent together and you think it's love. Go and read Corinthians, is this the nature of love.


    LEAVE HIM

    ReplyDelete
  62. Lots of women no get sense like the ones in my office , the gals will be used by the same man then come and insult him after getting STD from him, a guy who does not care if u abort or.not now he is onto an intern well may she rest in peace. Women u will not be patient always looking for a fast guy, full of confidence and STDs. Later you will start telling stories that touch . Abeg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahha your comment got me laughing out loud...i just pictured a guy with 3 women surrounding him and raining insults on him for giving them STD. bobo just dey chew chewing stick dey look them like when una taya una go waka...honestly this poster saw too many red flags but she ignored them

      Delete
    2. hahahahha your comment got me laughing out loud...i just pictured a guy with 3 women surrounding him and raining insults on him for giving them STD. bobo just dey chew chewing stick dey look them like when una taya una go waka...honestly this poster saw too many red flags but she ignored them

      Delete
  63. The signs are always there, but we choose to ignore. That's how my ex was playing himself thinking he was playing me... he thought proposing marriage to me would change my mind, I kuku told him I'm not interested in marrying him.,He was like I used him... ogbemi, you used yourself. if you cannot be faithful in relationship, you can't be faithful in marriage. I told him to choose any of the girls he hides to call or chat and delete, including the ones he cheats with...
    Its 3 years now, he's still begging. I on the other hand, I've moved on and about tying the knot...

    ReplyDelete

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