Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Saturday, February 20, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...



Dear Stella and BVs..

I have made so many mistakes in my over two decades on earth. Too many bad choices and all. How do I start to write on how I got to this point of being a jobless single mother of two without any form of direction for my life.

 I had my first child at the age of 19. The father told me to abort it and that I will be on my own if I kept it but in my mind, I thought I was doing the noble thing. I was a lone ranger. No one told me of what was going to be ahead.

When he washed his hands off the pregnancy, he meant it. I met him while he was serving. Since then and up until now, eight years after that, he has never seen her before. If I am to put in total, the money he has sent for me hasn't been up to 20k.

I tried getting admission into school some years after that. My parents had never forgiven me for the shame I brought them. On my dad's end, it was a morning and evening topic. It got to a point I was so emotionally traumatized and was just looking for an escape route.

 Church, street, relatives, I was the example being given as an example of failure.
I was the one responsible for my child's fees, dressing, etc. My parents helped with feeding.
I had to tell different forms of lies, lived on handouts to get money to take care of her as I was now in school.

At some point, things became difficult at home, health and financial challenges. I lost focus and concentration in school. Carry-overs came in truckload. My parents were now waking me up with talks that I should marry and carry my shame and leave the house. I started looking for a way of escape for my sanity. Any body who could assist me with my child's expenses and who could be my escape route from my parents was all I needed but alas, I didn't know that I was about to jump from frying pan to fire.

Long story made short, the supposed Messiah showed up with false story of marriage to my parents. I stupidly believed. Pregnancy happened. I wanted to abort it but he wouldn't have it. There was no one to get money from and we started quarrelling over this abortion money issue. 

He told my mom about the pregnancy to my anger and my mom swore that if I did it, I'll die and all of those threats.

Lo and behold, this man started dating someone else. 

Right now, I think he had even been dating her before me. The girl then knew about me and the whole drama started. At this time, concentration from school had gone what with all the drama the girl gave me. I went to hell and back. More carryovers. 

When I put to birth, he didn't even show up until his girlfriend told him to

That was how I became the girl that had children. No certificate with all my plenty grammar, no skill(where you see that kind money), saggy b**be, out of shape, no job and plenty baggage.

Several times I have had to motivate myself that one day things will change and I even sometimes foolishly think I will even marry sef🀣🀣🀣🀣. Single people never marry finish.

I have done every little work I can to try to make ends meet but it's not working especially with the fact that I am now training two children alone. The second father only shows up with 10k the day his now wife tells him to and that's like once in a long time.

I know I brought all these on myself by not abstaining from s#x in the first instance.
Or am I such a terrible person? I know I do get angry when provoked but certainly there are men getting married to women like that too.

Please bvees,I really do need practical advice on how to turn things round for me now that it isn't too late. How do I also get my own grass to grace story?

Please let's not talk about learning a skill cause I do not have the money to pay to learn, practice while learning, transport and still also fend for my kids. No capital for any trade and the #15k teaching job that would have been available,this is first term and employers mostly employ after third term.
I'm in my final year now and wish I could just flog ASSU and corona for all they did to us.

No housekeeping job available 
at least I can cook small and keep a place tidy as that one No housekeeping job available, at least I can cook small and keep a place tidy as that one doesn't need any certificate in this Nigeria. I don pray for miracle tire. Zeal for self motivation is gone. Na Stella's blog dey gimme joy now.

I don't even care again if the people I know that frequent here will decide that I sent this but I need advice.

No offense please but do not tell me to watch war room. I have already.
I truly am sorry for this my so long a letter.πŸ™

*Watch War room again.


  1. So what do you want to do about your situation? Sit and Lament? Or take those children to their fathers while you bounce back and do good with your life?

    Please learn to use condom,
    Learn how to use Men. (Judginas avoid this one)

    Go back to school. While at it, get a skill and become that woman your children will be proud of.

    1. Poster, read sugars comment very very well

    2. Men learn how to use women..
      Hope you're seeing how they think.. dem no believe in true love like we do

    3. I knew I’d find you in this post @dante yesterday’s post you were auspiciously missing. You’ll be fine one day

    4. Dante who are you deceiving that you believe in true love? Is it not men that put the poster in her condition? Where was their love? Your own is only to fight gender war, never objective. Oya you don win nau. Carry your trophy dey go. If you like come and abuse me, that is where your expertise lies.

    5. @Sugar, she should take the children to their fathers so they can be abused abi? And someone in final year should go back to school... πŸ€”

    6. Women if a man tells you to abort and you Know you can't take care of a child on your own please abort in order to avoid this kind of stories

  2. My advice is do whatever it takes to graduate so you are ready when your name is called upon...cos they will definitely call you for a lot of good things but you gotta be ready.

    1. Protect your daughters by any means possible and if they ever happen to make mistakes, don't let them carry and suffer the result for life. Help them by which ever way possible. Abstinence should be taught but if they make mistakes please get them an abortion. Abortion is not an easy way out o. Ask victims and they will tell you how they carry the trauma and guilt about for years but at least they get to learn and grow wiser and eventually forgive themselves at some point. Don't sit back and make her pay all her life. If you won't help her get one, be prepared to take the baby and nurse/cater for. A child shouldn't be having a child. If you are running from a single sin of today, she will be forced to commit multiple sins tomorrow to shoulder the responsibilities and stigmatization of teenage pregnancy/early single parenthood.


    2. which one is victim again...nawa for english o

  3. What were you looking to learn from watching war room?
    They say once bitten twice shy.
    Why did you quickly spread like butter for another man?
    Anyway the past is in the past but do well not to repeat the same mistakes again.
    You write well. Have you tried creative writing/editing jobs on fiverr or other platforms?
    Affiliate marketing isn’t bad either.
    I pray for God’s wisdom to guide you in your future endeavors πŸ™πŸ½

  4. Replies
    1. She needs hotter prayers nau. Except she is not a believer............

  5. Hmmmmm,it is well with you..Help will locate you, keep holding on

  6. KKeepoving, don't stop and don't look back or look down on yourself.
    God is not silent.

    1. Is this Don? What changed you? Anyway welcome back

    2. Wow!!
      I am impressed with the rebranded Don!!

    3. New year, new Don.

    4. Where have you been Don? Welcome

    5. It's good seeing your comment Don. God bless you and keep you

    6. Don ooo
      Where have you been..?

  7. Jesus fixed my life, worse than yours. Trust him and none else. Make his teachings in the New Testament your daily companion. Download the bible app from playstore or istore.
    Abstinence is the best; that is God's command. Reject it and bear the unsavory consequences, here and in eternity.

    1. Poster I will never judge you. I pray you get a direction. Don't give up on yourself even if everybody does. You are human and bound to make mistakes. May God direct you on the right path to go from now while you cross your legs like a mermaid.

    2. That used to be a common saying on this blog. Whatever you do poster cross those legs like a mermaid. Don't give up, continue doing your best with prayers. What God cannot do does not exist.

  8. Oh my God! The deed has already been done. I wish I could help you...

    This life no balance πŸ’― Make Jesus your Lord and Saviour, keep praying and try to learn a skill. Start somewhere and you won't regret it.

    Those children will be your source of joy in future. Keep pushing my dear life is not easy.

    Thankn you for not aborting those kid.

    1. Poster you may not realize it but you are blessed. Those kids are a blessing. I am single with my own challenges, older than you and wish I had even one kid. Thank God every day for them. God loves a grateful heart. He will surely provide for them. And if you desire marriage God can do that too, but you mustn't let go of your faith. You are not the worst human, others have been through far worse, but because they held on their story changed.

  9. You have made mistakes but that doesn't mean your life is beyond redemption. Yes! You can still get married even after having children.

    I would advise you to take your relationship with God seriously and if it is non existent, you can start today. I'm so sure beyond every doubt that God is able to redeem you but you must be willing to love him and live in total obedience to him.

  10. No need for the blame game. The deed has been done already. When you've done all you can, just stand. Everyone goes their challenges but then, we should be ready to face the consequences of our actions..
    You'll survive. Just keep striving.

    Meanwhile, for those reading, learn from this. Sex can be sweet but it's best to abstain when you're not married. If you can't abstain, condoms and contraceptives never finish for market

  11. Poster your matter tie wrapper wear gele with cockshoe.
    I'm sorry to say poster you are in this for a long run, too bad.
    Its only a miracle that can give you your grass to grace story.
    This is the time to go closer to God, yeah kts not going to be easy with all your needs , but you need to find a balance.
    Mathew 11 28-30 says 'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
    Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
    For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light'.
    For now dont be tempted to sleep with men/boys no matter what they promise to offer you, a man who truly cares about you will not see your situation and begin to talk about sex. Flee from the likes of them that will promise heaven on earth while they attach sex to it.
    Pray daily for helper,ask God to send one. Depend less on man.
    It doesn't mean if your instincts directs you to persons or someone that could be of help to you that you won't ask from them o, just be smart, strong and don't give up.
    Do any work your hand sees to make ends meet. MAY God remember you. Ask your parents for forgiveness, then always ask your family for help when situations get really hard atleast they won't totally abandon you.

    1. 'cockshoe'?.... *court shoes*

    2. Anon 19:36 Nowamagbe, the lifted is correct, it is Kokoshoe, not Court Shoe.

      Poster, you have enough data to send chronicle, you the rest to watch YouTube videos on how to make hair, or bake or cook.

      You can start with frying puff-puff and yam first. Nigeria is very hard right now.
      God will help you.

  12. Poster read Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
    Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
    For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
    Keep away from men who demand sex in return for a favor, a man who likes you/cares for you wouldn't demand sex from you in this your situation.
    Ask God for helpers, pray everyday for helpers to come your way. Dont relent
    Your situation seems like its going to be on for a while, but you will be fine on the long run. Be strong.
    Do work you can , any just to make ends meet, sha don't prostitute oh, its tempting but run oh.
    Meet your family for help, ask them to forgive you.
    Keep calling on God. It is well with you sis

  13. The first one didn't teach you any lesson, you open leg again con dey complain...I'm sure they must have advised you to keep your legs closed but you turned deaf ears thinking the second boyfriend would be a different ball it has become 'had I known for you'.
    You better don't put any blames on your parents for pressurizing you to marry. It's not their fault atleast they didn't tell you to hang your legs on the ceiling before marriage. Watch war room again like Stella suggested. Nonsense and ingredients

    1. The parents are a contributing factor to her second mistake. They failed her. Why beat up someone that is already down? How does that help? When you keep drowning a person in their mistake, they will accept any life saver they see just to get out and that was what happened with the second pregnancy. Too bad, the life saver was a mirage. Why were they trying to push her into marriage? They want to push their baggage and 'shame' on someone else's son? Their 19years old dependant child got pregnant and the best thing you could do was neglect her with the parenting responsibilities and her own education. How was she supposed to get the needed funds. Did the girl err, yes! But tell me, when did two wrongs start making things right. Her parents failed her big time.
      Poster, please work on your temper too. It is not a good thing.

  14. There's is this woman I met ,she got pregnant for a carpenter at 18, family rejected her ,she moved in with the carpenter, she told me how she survived by selling pure water and doibd odd jobs, she raised money to write Waec, the guy was against her going to school, but she fought him ,left him,dust herself up, got admitted into uni,use men to achieve her aim, she's married now and a PhD holder lecturing in a university in Osun state. Her first daughter to the ogbomosho carpenter is now married and living in the US

  15. Your parents contributed to the mess you are in at the moment. Parents, please when your children make mistakes, register your displeasure and help them get back up. I know someone that got pregnant after secondary school. Her parents took the child from her, help her build back her self esteem and sent her back to school. Today, she is happily married and her first child is in the university. Poster, you made a mistake at the young age of 19, but your parents failed you writing you off.

    For now, forget about relationship. Build your self esteem back up. Always tell yourself that you are more than enough. Your kids are your everything.

    Don't be too proud to do any job. You can clean people's compound for my area, the woman that cleans for us collect 5000/month and she comes twice a week. She cleans like four houses on my street alone. That's 20000 in a month. I am sure she cleans other places too. She comes early and by 12noon, she is done cleaning the four houses. She has the rest of the day to do other things. From there, you can get people you can clean their apartment once in a week. Here, they charge like 10000/month.
    While doing all these, continue telling Jesus to take the wheel of your life, turn a deaf ear to naysayers and make sure you finish your education. It is only a matter of time before you break even.
    By the way, where are you based. I really wish I can be your friend. God is not done with you yet.

    1. You’re so right! I love your commentπŸ‘πŸ‘

    2. You are partially right about the parents but at 19, she wasn't a child. Some 19year olds are already in their 3rd year in the university and all parents can't behave the same way. You never can tell how much sacrifice whether fibroid, PCOS, financial etc trauma that the parents went through then to now be greeted with this?

      You never can tell if she was warned severally but couldn't pay heed?

      Imagine that u've stayed sleepless nights, washed clothes, taken them to hospital, school and evry other draining chore that comes with parenting and just when u turn 50 and want to rest, your daughter comes back with this instead of a certificate? Sometimes it can be just as draining for the parents.

      In this case they even still accomodated her and am sure all those while she was going to school, they helped look after her kid.
      So sometimes the parents are just as sad and disappointed and react differently.

      The poster needs to sit up, plan, get productive, pray and forge a better life not just for herself but for kids and also the parents whose hopes she dashed.

      God's guidance on you poster. I believe in you to make it.

    3. Great comment!

    4. Nice one Blessed One.
      You nailed it.

  16. #EndSWAT #Endpolicebrutality Phoenix20 February 2021 at 16:10

    Poster I am so sorry the way you feel. I have made mistakes so as everyone else. But the question is have you learnt your lessons, have you done proper self assessment and identify areas you need to improve on. Your parents had expectations for you but you let them do. I think you need to meet with your parents-sit dem down, ask for forgiveness, humble yourself and ask them to tell you areas you have not done well, ask for their wisdom and knowledge from them.. For how long will you beat yourself? It is not how many times you fell but how many times you stood up from your fall.

    That is why I like biro and notepad. Write down things you want to achieve, areas you didnt do well and how you can improve. Look for reputable people around or a mentor someone that will hold your hand every step of the way. You ask your parents for funds to help when you are financially buoyant, you can refund them. Even prodigal son went back to his father cos e know say Adulthood na scam. One step at a time my sister but wallowing in your mistakes will not take you anywhere. Stand up and mooveeee *in Vee's voice. All the best

    1. So apt Phoenix!

      The first step is seeking forgiveness from your parents, kneel down cry and asked they forgive you genuinely.

      One step at a time.
      You can do get things through Christ who strengthens you, Amen.
      Don't ever think of sending the innocent kids away to their respective spermatozoa donors.
      Shield them from vultures and abuse.

      Lines will fall into pleasant places for you, if you do your bit well.
      I am rooting for you.
      Chin up and move.

  17. I'm assuming you are same age as me. I will not advise you anything other than always insisting on protection during sex. This might look like a small thing but it is actually huge. Protect yourself and your body. If you are dating anyone else for now, don't have sex without condom and sense.

  18. If you're in lagos we can be friends i don't have money o but truth be told jesus can turn your life around I'm a single mum too.

  19. Hmmm!

    What is done is done. Can anyone offer practical help? I wish I could but I can't.

    Men who abandon their kids because they don't want their mothers, do they really think God is not watching them? You deceive a young girl into thinking there's a future then when belle enter, you run away. Hmmm!

    Parents also need to do better. I know it's embarrassing to have a pregnant teenage daughter but what is done is done. Refusing to empower her by ensuring she finishes her education or learns a valuable skill is not wise at all. She and her kid(s) become vulnerable to wicked people who want to take advantage of them.

    People also need to be kinder with their words. This behavior of pointing out a lady who gave birth out of wedlock should please stop. You have no idea how damaging your words are. She's already under much stress and guilt, she doesn't need more from you. Is it until she commits suicide that's when you'll be fine?

    Besides, you don't know tomorrow. Some women who were pointing those girls out to their daughters now have to watch their daughters beg God for a child. The child you mock another for having out of wedlock is the child you're begging God for.

    To those who are single and not ready for kids, please don't let men decieve you. Close your legs except after marriage. Your life will be far better.

    1. #EndSWAT #Endpolicebrutality Phoenix20 February 2021 at 18:48

      Thank you. Our parents should stop allowing their children to continue living in their mistakes. It pains me when one does that even her own children. Its ok to make mistakes that is why we are humans

    2. Thank you very much 16:56, you have said it ALL.

    3. Thank you!!! Same sentiment about her parent. They didn't do well.

  20. Forget men for now, concentrate on setting yourself right for yours and your kids seems you lack motivation to do any form of work, believe can move you except your self, just remember you have 2kids counting on you to get it right. You can try dropshipping items that students like to buy. You can do assignments and take up writing projects in areas of your interest, then charge a fee. You can also clean houses and run errands for lecturers and get paid weekly or monthly. If you can plait hair and fix nails can make fast food:akara, noodles, bread and egg etc at a busy spot. These ones require little or no capital. Try to learn a skill! It's very important.

    Religious centers are places to build networks and they sometimes have empowerment schemes, so integrate yourself and benefit as much as you can. Best wishes

  21. Some BV can be very annoying. You are pointing out her failings as if she isn't all too aware of them. She needs solutions.

    Is there no way that the courts can step in and mandate the fathers to make monthly payments for the upkeep of their child?

    1. #EndSWAT #Endpolicebrutality Phoenix20 February 2021 at 18:45

      My dear no court they are not recognized under law cos they never marry. She just needs to get up and find something doing. Even if court rules in her favour, who ll ensure the men pays. It is one thing to take horse to the river but another to force him to drink. We dey Naija now

  22. It's a good thing that you have realized your mistakes. You're ready for change. However for you, that change will not come easy given your condition.
    To begin with, learn a simple skill. One that brings joy to your heart. You can use proceeds from this to feed yourself and kids.
    Secondly, nobody likes baggage so you have to learn to be self sufficient. You seem to be attending a pity party where you're the star of the show. Stop it! Find your confidence. Confidence alone can take you to Pluto and back
    Lastly, retreat to God. Ask him to send forth a genuine helper your way. Remind him of his promises and apologize for the mistakes you've made.
    Stop being ashamed of yourself. Yours will make a beautiful story. Prove everyone who ever betrayed wrong.
    Being a single mother is not shameful. You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself. Being ashamed is being ashamed of your kids as well and kids no matter the circumstance are blessings.
    Pick yourself up and re live all you desired before you derailed. You're neither old nor useless. You have eyes, a brain and limbs. You have a good vocabulary. All these are assets waiting to be implemented.
    Marriage is not an ultimate goal. Survival is. Even if you're married today to the most loving man on earth, with all your current baggage, happiness is far from you. So work on yourself.
    God be with you

  23. How much is postinor 2

    1. Make she drink am after 2 children? Ologbo

    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ what a question!
      savage responseπŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜

    3. You are savage Anonymous 18:27.

  24. There are organisations that organize skill acquistion for women and girls for free.I think you should consider this.

  25. I honestly think you should first and foremost beg your parents for letting them down. Go on your knees if you have to. You need them for now to help take care of your kids while you hustle for your freedom and kids well being. Reason why I’m saying this is your environment is very toxic. Your parents that should be your support system are not helpful at all. Also this is not the time for sex or men. Sex is not love and your need for love is making you make some silly mistakes (there’s no father and mother’s love in your home. No emotional nurturing growing up). Trust me a lot of us went through that. So for now, if you need to be at your parents mercy, please do and set a time when you’ll move out and get a one bedroom for you and your kids. If you need one to two years to hustle and save every penny like your life depends on it because it really does.; then start doing that ASAP. Also exercise to lose weight for your health and for your kids. Start by taking a walk in the morning, let the sun shine on you. You’re obviously depressed due to your ongoing issues. Cut out white carbs or minimize it a lot. More veggies and not so much fruits(fruit has sugar). When you start feeling good, you’ll have motivation to get things done. Also write out positive affirmations and say it over and over as it’ll have a positive effect on you. Write out your goals and start tackling them one step at a time. Goodluck. Ps: since you can somewhat cook, are you able to start akara and fried yam business on the side. Or akara and bread. Start small as it requires low capital. Package it well and go offices during lunch time and sell it to them. You’ll be able to raise money from there. You need to move out of your parents house as soon as you can. It’s adding more to your depressed mood. Move out and take charge of your life!!!

  26. I feel sorry for you and I do not mean to judge you. There are a lots of people looking for house keepers and nannies. Would have recommend you to people but you can not guarantee who you don't know. I suggest you get registered with agents who can train you and get you job. Check out Every Nanny, Unique errands etc

  27. So solutions, i think you can beg your pastor or priest or church members for help.

    Secondly look NGOs to volunteer or ask for aid.

    Thirdly look for a job with your SSCE be it a cleaning job or errand jobs, a daycare job etc. Walk the streets with your CV in hand and ask everyone, every fastfood, every supermarket, every restaurant. You should get something and once you do don't forget to embrace a positive disposition and attitude. See your best years are ahead of you. Get it moving and stop the pity party, God doesn't condemn you, don't condemn yourself, bless your children and speak amazing words and they would grow up as you describe. Apologise to your parents and then take a hold of your life, you are an adult, your mistake, your lesson and only you can now decide your future (glorious or not). Do something wash clothes for people, fry akara. Own your life and put those men to shame, make your parents and children proud and ask God to guide you every step of the way.

  28. How do they use men??? I want to know mbok

    1. Lol, they wee nor tell you..........

  29. Hello poster, where do you live? Not the exact address but give us an idea of your general location.

  30. I don't know why a lot of Nigerian parents continue to live this life of hypocrisy.
    How do you abandon your 19year old who got pregnant mistakingly?? I cannot do that to my child.
    Mistake has been made, they should have sought a way forward.
    Poster get active in a bible believing church, you could find any winners Chapel around you. Explain your situation to the pastor in charge as nd tell him you need a job, so if thee are church members who require your service, he can easily fix you up.
    Ensure to be of good character while working for people, be diligent, get close to God and watch your story change in a few years.

  31. Poster the deed has already been done.
    Get up, dry your tears, pray. Think of what you can do. Personally I suggest u try to get a part time cleaning job or house keeping work that can enable u keep an eye on ur children. Remember their upbringing requires alot of attention. It's not going to be easy but if you put your mind to doing ur best in whatever you find to do, the reward will be amazing.
    Lots of love...

  32. I can’t imagine what you are going through and I think there are a lot of useful comments above which I will say to you to read and read again . I also suggest you get a mentor and start thinking about the skill you will like to acquire . We know you are not asking for money , if you are certain and sure you are ready reach out to Stella I will pay for your training and support you with what I have. Stella take note please


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