STNAD ALONE NARRATIVE
END OF THE ROAD FOR THIS LOVE
Good day dear Stella,
Thank you for good work you are doing, may God continue to bless you.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We both attended the same school and reconnected years later. He really loves me and he is all I want in a man. He is God-fearing, loving, humble.
We have become so close, that I thank God for having him in my life. Late last year, he started talking about marriage and getting serious and that was when the issue of genotype came up. I am AC and he is AS. I did not see this as an issue since we are both not AS.
Along the line, I found out that my mum is SC and this kind of gave me rest of mind, infact I was shocked,cos she hardly falls sick. Never knew her to have any crisis. She looks very healthy. She's in her early 60's.
Last month, my boyfriend and I went to do the test just to confirm but it was still the same AC/AS result. We waited to see the doctor, and that was when my world came crashing.
The doctor advised against our union cos of the SC genotype. I told him about my mum but he was saying that her case could be mild but could not be the same for all.
I have not been myself since then, I love my guy so much, I don't want to loose him. This has really affected us. I really don't see SC as being so bad, but my guy is thinking otherwise. Please my dear bv's, what advice can you give us, it would mean a lot to me. I'll also like to hear from those that are SC.
I have not been myself since then, I love my guy so much, I don't want to loose him. This has really affected us. I really don't see SC as being so bad, but my guy is thinking otherwise. Please my dear bv's, what advice can you give us, it would mean a lot to me. I'll also like to hear from those that are SC.
When the problems begin, the love will clear from your eyes.. Please let him go and pray God sends you another man or both of you can decide to marry without having kids and take the necessary measures to make sure that no child is born into this Union.
There are too many people out there hurting because of wrong decisions made from unions of love like this..... PLEASE MOVE ON; having a broken heart is nothing compared to having a sick child!
My sis is sC too in her late 60s,I've never seen her having any crises apart from the normal human sickness,I'm not encouraging you to go ahead o, but Im not sure sc genotype is as bad as ss
ReplyDeleteI HAD a cousin who was SC and suffered so much crisis like a typical sickler, we lost her at age 18.
DeleteI am AS too, and had to leave my ex because he is AC. Today I am married to a good AA man... please dear poster, listen to your doctor and call it off.
Genuinely seek God, He is in the business of doing miracles, alot have had their genotype changed on NSPPD
DeleteYou can give God a try.
God fearing no be for mouth, it's time to make your faith speak.
Please don't and never listen to people like this Push up with her story from mars, read intelligent comments from people who are using their brains and senses that God game them.
DeleteThis is coming from a so called educated individual. smh
A woman that used to stay on my street while growing up gave birth to 5 sicklers with 1 AS boy. They all died later, including the AS who hit his head when he went swimming in the University. Guess what? The woman had stroke, the man left the house, it was later discovered that he had young children from another woman. I am SC too with no crisis but that experience thought me a lot of lessons. When single, I always ask for genotype before I start catching feelings and before dating you, we must go for test together. I never dated anyone that is not AA, infact my parent in law are both AA.
DeletePoster, the point is if wahala start, you are on your own.
As if marriage is for children alone. Mtschewww
DeletePoster, left to me; if you have money take advantage of science and select healthy babies through ivf.
You can inplant two at once!
But if you don't have money, goodluck sha.
What is life without pure love & happiness?
All the best
Awwwwwn,
DeleteYou brought back memories for me
E-Hug for you🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 because u are going to need plenty of it.
My dear you are going to break up with the guy yes I know it is deeply painful but just see it as 1 of life's hard decision you have to make.
And don't just jump to the next AA guy. Take your time to heal and pray to God to help you heal. I pray the lord be with you,guide and protect you.❤❤❤
Anno 19*23
DeleteWhy go through the stress
It's good your guy is thinking otherwise, it shows he has sense.
ReplyDeleteAS + AC is already sorta bad then you wanna add SC in the mix?
ReplyDeleteSis, your guy is already checking out and you should too. It’s for the best.. Love will find you again 😊
A cousin of mine was on this table and they both stubbornly refused to hear word... After 10 years with 3 sc children,every day it's from one admission to the other, as this one is returning, the other one is admitted. The hubby abandoned her to marry someone else 4years ago, you had better dry your tears and move on with your life coz when e set, you would be the only one suffering the consequences day and night, but emotional, physically, financially..
ReplyDeleteThis says it all.
DeleteMen abandon their family to get a new one. Na wa o
DeleteThis is so common with Nigerian men. Why is loyalty such a difficult thing for them?
DeleteHmmmmm..you better listen to the doctors advice.dey don dey tell una now,una no dey hear.the dog wey go lost ,no dey hear the voice of a hunter.
ReplyDeleteLove won't be enough when you are at that hospital at 1 am when the child is sick. Plz don't do this. I know how hard it may be but plz do not make a mistake that you will regret. All the best.
ReplyDeleteIt’s painful but u must move on,u don’t only have to think about the present And be selfish at the same time .think about the future,imagine ur children in pains,one health crisis or the other..sometimes some decisions may seem as hurting but it’s for better.in a few years to come u will understand and thank God for giving u the grace to move foward.Ur own partner is coming.cheer up
ReplyDeleteLike the doctor said, your mum's case might just be mild. With all that is going on in the world now, one shouldn't open eye Koro and invite trouble in future.
ReplyDeleteYour guy is already is already thinking otherwise, if eventually you succeed in making him marry you and paradventure, a sickly child is born, hmm...the way that guy go change am for u eeeh u will marvel.
Please, I know it's hard but try and take a walk, you might an AA guy in future. Just communicate everything to God ok? Treating malaria and typhoid in kids is very tasking and exhausting not to talk of when one had to always be in and out of the hospital.
Chukwu gbaa gi ume.
Listen to your doctor. We won't advise you to go against him.
ReplyDeleteYou can't guarantee that the kids you both will have won't have crisis, just because your mum and a few others you've heard about don't have doesn't mean you both won't have a different case.
It's never an easy thing taking care of a sick child, you don't want to go there. Walk now that you can, God will give you yours without any hiccup.
Biko, do not go ahead with marriage, except you wanna adopt.
ReplyDeleteBetter listen to your doctor
ReplyDeletePoster the doctor wish you well but because you are in love you feel the doctor is against you, listen to hom.
ReplyDeleteVery dangerous for u so is better u dey up ur tears and move on with your life,,pls ooo bcos of ur unborn children.
ReplyDeleteI pity my former neighbor who has an SC child and an SS children, everyday hospital, everyday cries from their flat,the ogbeni has kukuma gone to settle himself somewhere.
ReplyDeleteLove is not enough in this case not even prayers, wisdom is profitable to direct you now.
Use wisdom and japa from that relationship that will soon turn situationship.
Poster please, listen to your doctor! You can't knowingly bring children into this world to suffer!
ReplyDeletePlease listen to your doctor and move on. There's no need trying to force it with the hope that you guys can avoid having kids with sickle cell. You will find love again.
ReplyDeleteThis awakens sad memories of my secondary school friend. This ‘C’ is characterized with severe skin and bone infections, she overcame the major illness she had and was relatively healthy but died during childbirth at 21, Poster, abort mission abeg.
DeletePoster pls run and quit.How can this be eradicated when people are still about love. SS crisis is terrible for some people. Just think of your kids lives don't throw them into pain by sacrificing them on the alter of love. You are educated so be aware.
ReplyDeleteI don’t know much about SC but I figure it has potentials of being as bad as SS. I have an SS sister. That she hasn’t committed suicide is a miracle. She’s almost always sick and depressed. Leg ulcers for 12 years, very deep, painful and refused to heal; blood transfusion every 3 months before she can regain herself small. Lately, she still has crisis even with the transfusion. Every member of the family is running around every now and then for her. She has decided not to have children because she feels she can’t handle the stress. She recently had a fibroid surgery, I think she may have had her womb removed for this reason but I don’t want to ask her. Her last contract was terminated because of her numerous sick leave. She only manages to sleep after smoking weed to knock her off (the only way she can sleep and not feel pain is if she is half passed out). Otherwise, she will open eye till morning and be writhing in terrible pain!!! As in, she feels the pain in her veins, all over her body!!!
ReplyDeleteMy dear, R U N!!! You should literally RUN!!! Leave love out of this matter and marry with your brain.
Don’t say nobody warned you. We have told you today March 20, 2021. Mark it.
This is really sad
DeletePoster please, move on. There might be no problem now but I tell you, a lot can happen in future that'll make you ask yourself how you got into this in the first place.
ReplyDeleteThis just reminds me of my late brother. Keep resting big B!
He who finds a good wife finds a treasure...
ReplyDeletePoster if the union is blessed by God, his riches including kids will add no sorrow...
Seek God's face and trust him.
It takes two to tango but it seems your guy is pulling out. So don't rush it, only pray, believe in God and go on with your daily activities in good faith....
ivf no easy o at all, done 3times ,only 3rd 1 worked. I have scared from injection ,my skin is terrible.
Deletewhat about the emotional rollercoaster
Poster check fertility hospitals in Lagos. I saw something about screening these children and picking healthy ones for AS couples like IVF. Check am if una fit get the money.
ReplyDeleteMy dear!
DeleteI am reading comments and wondering if I am the only one in the 21st century!
Like there is FULL BLOWN solution now for this thing and they are all telling her to abort mission!
Poster if you have money & God agrees with you, marry your man.
Use IVF & select just two and live your happy life
The alternative you're proposing involves a lot of money. And it's not an option for sincere christians because it also involves abortion because if the fertilized egg is discovered to be SS, the egg is destroyed. A fertilized egg is a living human in God's eyes and destroying it is tantamount to killing a human in God's eyes.
DeleteYea but what about money!!!! Ivf is not cheap! You people will just open mouth like it’s that easy. Make she move on abeg. There are other good men out there plus bf self is not interested like that anymore.
DeletePlease keep quiet aunty ivf!
DeleteDo you know what the procedure entails? Blood tests, injections, needles, prodding in and out of a women's vagina, ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome etc.
Or haven't you heard of failed IVF? Or you think its every one that stays.
My patient already has 9failed Ivfs and No,this is the UK not Nigeria. Go figure!
Is the pain, finances spent and stress worth it?
Best advice still remains to marry the matching genotype. That is what I will say to ALL my patients even in the 31st century!
no be by abroad, I did 2ivf in the usa both about 33k usd for everything, my bad insurance paid little or nothing,both failed. went to naija paid less than 1m nairafor ivf, carrying my twin boys by God's grace. Na God dey help person...ivf isn't easy.
DeleteAnon 23:34, pls where in Nigeria did you do your IVF?
DeletePlease help a desperate sister. I don't mind a private message through Stella abeg.
Thanks.
If abortion is acceptable to you, genotype of babies inside the womb can be tested with as little as N250k. You keep if genotype AS,AA or AC and abort if SC. BEar in mind, you can have 3 successive pregnancies and all can be SC. The ball is in your court.
ReplyDeleteNo please don’t do this! The psychological trauma nko??? And 250k is a lot of money for some people!
DeleteA friend was in this dilemma years ago. The man really loved her and they were already talking marriage as he had introduced her to his family members. However, they both discovered they were AS. My friend decided to have sense and let go despite his persuasion. It took years but she finally met her current husband and they have a beautiful healthy child. She has ZERO regrets on her decision.
ReplyDeleteSC and SS are both sickle cell disease. SC is a milder disease compared to SS.
ReplyDeleteIf you as AC marries your fiance who is AS,for EACH pregnancy you have, there's a 25% chance of AA,25% chance of AC, 25% chance of AS and 25% chance of SC.If you are lucky you can have all your kids as carriers ie AS,AC or normal AA.However if you are unlucky you may have all your kids as SC.
The way to prevent having both carriers or SC is to go for IVF,where the embryos cells DNA can be tested for sickle cell gene and only the normal AA embryo will be implanted into your womb.
This is another way science is used to gradually eliminate the sickle cell gene from society and therefore phase out any people having AS or AC from the society.
So the way forward is to eradicate the S gene via IVF.
Also everybody should know their genotype from day 1 so as to avoid couples meeting and going far in their relationships before finding out that they have incompatible genotypes. IVF is expensive.
Her guy already has one of his legs outside the door. It's better she moves on to a better guy who is AA.
DeleteMy sister is SC..she was always sick while growing up just like the normal SS...it was not fun at all whenever she has her crisis...she's in her late forties now and I believe she's outgrown it cos she's rarely sick but she's always on folic acid. I'll advise you take the doctors advice please.
ReplyDeleteMy brother was SC he died in 2005 at the age of 25 years old after going through hell most of his life since he was like 3 years, so pls think about it properly dont be selfish about this .
ReplyDeletePoster,I and my husband are AS genotype but we have 2 healthy girls today without ivf.God still does wonders.
ReplyDeleteIf your man is already contemplating, that is a sign u should not continue , sickle cell ain’t easy my dear , u need to abort mission cos this man would leave u , don’t later say men are scum blabla o, I know the pressure of marriage is what is making u behave this way without thinking but people over 30 and 40 are not married and dem never die , a word is enough for the wise
ReplyDelete