You alone or you and your spouse have been trying to conceive for so long and you are in a lot of pains because that dream has taken so long...
There are so many Children in Adoption homes waiting to be picked up and loved..
What is stopping you and your spouse or you alone from trying to adopt while you wait for God to bless you? Someone I know recently adopted and watching her bond with the child and all is awesome....
I hear Male kids as babies are like gold to adopt (because they are hot in demand by couples who wanna pretend like they just had a baby) but a little older like from a year will be processed fast.
How long have you tried to conceive? Are you ashamed to adopt or is your spouse the one saying No to raising a child that is not from his loins?
What is stopping you from adopting?
Who has adopted a child here before or recently? how did it play out? Ayn regrets?
Lets gist!
The process of adoption in this country can take a lot of years to materialize.Government isnt making it easy at all and if you are not rich that's another problem.
ReplyDeleteA friend left lagos to Kano and she was able to get a beautiful baby girl with legal papers.
Lagos and Ogun is so difficult.
So true. I used to be why can't people just go and adopt. When I read up on the process and people's stories ohh, its a very difficult process and long road. If you are not even wealthy, the road is longer. So many kids just left in the system who can actually just have good homes. The whole system needs an overhaul.
DeleteIllegal adoption is really reigning here oo..one keke rider was gisting me about a guy that just passed,he said the guy and the girlfriend sold their baby for 1mil.He caught them taking the baby to one fake orphanage and so collected 80k for 'shut up'.That is not their first time o qss
ReplyDeleteThe said young girl relocated to ph and will come back when ppl must have forgotten she was pregnant.
Most couples do illegal adoptions but the risk is too much.
The rate of illegal adoption is alarming. Desperation and frustration is what makes these couples go through this route. A very unsupportive system we have in Nigeria
DeleteIt’s a long difficult process in Nigeria and sometimes you don’t get what you requested.
ReplyDeleteSomeone I know went through the stress for more than two years, she wanted a baby between 6months and a year old, she wasn’t particular about the gender.
They eventually processed adoption of a 9 year old boy for her. As if that wasn’t enough, a week to when she was to go pick him from the orphanage, she was told the boy had a younger sister, about 5 years old and they didn’t want the children to be separated cos they were very close.
So it was either take both or leave both.
Just imagine
DeleteThey could have told her before hand at least she can be well prepared
I know someone who adopted and the baby was HIV positive. That was some time ago. I believe full medicals are in order now.
ReplyDeleteThe Nigerian adoption system is a shame. Just like every other system here, it is made to frustrate you.
Giving up a baby for adoption should also be made legal. My two cents
I know a couple who have been TTCing for 10 years. Eventually, they adopted a baby girl.
ReplyDeleteGuess what! The wife got pregnant with twins (a boy and a girl) the next year.
They had mixed feelings though, thinking they should have waited a little more to have their own biological kids. Anyway, they're all doing well now
The baby is a blessing to them, as seen in movies
DeleteThe baby was God sent. Wow.
DeleteMany couples now take the surrogacy gate, the wife will relocate to where the baby will be born and return with the baby.
Either her egg and another's sperm is implanted into the lady to carry for 9months or another's egg and her husband's sperm. Or both sperm and egg donated at will.
It saves lots of hassles.
Ever heard the yoruba saying 'ori omo lon pe omo waye'? I believe the presence of that child brought about that pregnancy.
DeleteSame thing happened to my Pastor,he adopted a child that was abandoned by roadside, did dedication service for the baby, boom the wife took in after many years of TTC
DeleteI love this topic. I go to one catholic orphanage every now and then, I play with those little angels. Leaving is the hardest thing to do at the end of the day. Gosh they are all so adorable. Remember when Monica and Chandler made a joke about running away with Ross' child in friends? Yeah I get that feeling too. I really wish I could adopt some of them. I really do. The painful truth is not all the kids in the orphanage are "Orphans". Some were found in an inhumane manner, some were dumped in front of the orphanage. My point is, if deep down you know you are incapable of taking good care of a Creation, stop Procreation..! No child asked to be born, but if you decide to do that then you should absolutely care for them. To those TTCing, adoption isn't a bad idea. I know the process can be tiresome but if you have the means then please go for it. I understand adoption is not a mandatory thing to do but the greatest gift one can give to those children is taking them home and loving them as you would with your biological child. So yes, I would adopt a child or children when the time is right. For now I can only render some assistance to them.
ReplyDeleteSo true.
DeleteSome babies were rescued from an accident scene with no trace of parentage.
My youngest sister and her husband tried adopting for years and it didn't work. 20 years after they married, they had a baby girl. She is 5 years old now. The stress and frustration associated with adoption in Nigeria is excessive.
ReplyDeleteI know a couple who had a biological son and adopted two daughters. D boy should be 17 now, d girls are 2 n 4yrs today.
ReplyDeleteAdoption in this part of the world is not easy rara, especially those in the rural areas who'll have to deal with illiterate families or in-laws.
ReplyDeleteA woman in the villa after birthing three girls decided to adopt a boy with her hubby because age wasn't on her side again. Since the young boy entered that house it's been one problem or the other, her husband's family refused to accept him and asked that they return him, he should not bear their family name, that it's an abomination to adopt another man's blood, that the wife manipulated their brother into it, she wants to close his lineage, bla bla bla. The child is abt 10 now yet they've refused to accept him and still see him as an outsider.
One in my street adopted two with the support of her husband, today she's no more and her mum keeps thanking God for the wise decision she took while alive.
Instead of wetting your pillows all night, do the needful, to think that PH is even littered with illegal adoption homes that one won't pass through any stress sef
My husband's uncle died last November childless after marrying for 28years..
ReplyDeleteIt's was a rude shock uptill now,no sickness just fell down and die,very painful..he and his started the adoption process for over 3year yet nothing..now he's dead the family wont recognize the child as his anymore.the wife is not from his place,all they worked for gone,the house, properties everything no child to claim them,she has been a nurse for 20years,the family took everything cause he built them in his own town...😭😭😭
Can't you people fight for her? Can't she sue them to court?
Delete😭😭😭😭
DeleteI have every intention to adopt after having biological kids. Hearing how tedious the process is is almost discouraging, but adoption is something I’ve always wanted to do from the very first time I understood what the word means. I believe very strongly it’s part of why I’m here on earth, to put joy in the heart of an innocent little baby out there. My family thought I used to say it just because. They were so shocked when I mentioned it again as an adult.
ReplyDeleteWhy not allow your husband to marry a second wife hence you can not give him one.Someone I know did that and is working for them and they are happy with 3kids now,She went to the village and get a wife for her husband and they all live in the same house.
ReplyDeleteSee this one
Delete😩🤷🤦🙍😔
DeleteWhat if it's the man's fault? Will he allow his wife marry another man and they live together?
DeleteNa real hence.
DeleteI liked the idea of adoption before, but right now I hate it and I would never adopt a child, my parents adopted a baby boy some 15years ago and I can tell u that is one of d biggest mistakes they have ever made in marriage. The boy has a terrible character, is a thief and all a child is not supposed to be, we have all tried to see that he is a better person but I guess his Gene is a terrible one. my family is a quiet one but now, he has brought our legs out. at times I wish he can just disappear from our lives so that we can have our peace back
ReplyDeleteThis is very ignorant. Children do worse in their biological parent’s home especially male children
DeleteBad character is nurtured dear.
DeleteI wrote this but Stella didn't post it.Some are born by criminals and sold.I know a family suffering from this too and there's nothing they can do about it.
Delete1:48,nurtured ke?So you mean his adopted family nurtured him into that???
DeleteHeredity and environment played a role in what he became.You can't just blame his nature and exonerate nurture.At what age was he adopted?At what age did you start doing all you can to make him a good person?
DeleteNature sets our limits but it is nurture that helps to achieve those limits whether behaviour wise or otherwise
what if it's d man that is infertile? would he allow d wife to sleep with another man and get pregnant?
ReplyDeleteThank you Stella for this post.
ReplyDeleteMy wife's kid sister has an 8 year old old boy staying with us. His father, in a different state, is nowhere to be found. We want to include the boy in the EB-5 visa category to relocate.
We plan to discuss adoption with his mother tomorrow Sunday. Going by the tedious process involved as posted by bvs, I am certain there is no way out for the boy without his father's consent.
So you want snatch that little boy from his mother? Nothing to discuss, leave another man's child and go get yours
DeleteNigerians don't like to adopt
ReplyDeleteI don't mind adoption. I have always loved and wanted kids before i got married ( i have endometriosis, overian cysts n all)
ReplyDeleteSo doctors have said its almost impossible for me to birth a child. But i have a God of impossibilities, that i know.
Back to the issue,my hubby is a lil withdrawn because of his younger brother. The brother gossips too much. Very judgemental and loud . This brother of his knows women in the family that birthed or adopted. He goes to the extent of watching them from morning till night( when he visits) to see who breast feeds and doesn't n then he takes the topic round to the whole family..
We submitted an adoption letter to the social and welfare ministry in Port Harcourt around March last year, and when we try to follow up,we are always told that the commissioner has not been on his seat to vet the adoption letters. Later, we tried Benin, Edo State and we were told we needed some money to give to officials in the ministry to facilitate the process.
ReplyDeleteIn short, I have given up, this country tire me
Try surrogacy if you are financially capable.
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