Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists - Early Marriage Or Late Marriage

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Saturday, March 20, 2021

Saturday In House Gists - Early Marriage Or Late Marriage

Do you think it is better to marry early or Marry late?... Or just sit back and wait?






Some people are presently under pressure to Marry and the people pressuring them come with reasons like ''Marry now before you get to the age where conceiving will be difficult...If you start now you can enjoy your kids......''

Others are mature and are being told ''Now is the right time to marry cos you have a lot of experience and will handle kids and Marriage better''

Some married early and couldn't cope and some married late and still couldn't cope....
I am of the school of thought one should marry when the time is right..... Now brings me to ask what time is the right time?

Did you marry early or late ? Do you support early or late Marriages?
Any stories to tell?
 Are you under pressure? Or just in a mad rush to change your status and have kids?
Lets gist!

64 comments:

  1. Just pray to marry right. You can marry early and enjoy your marriage forever and you can also marry late and still make mistake in your choice of partner.

    I married in my 30s, would have loved to marry earlier, give birth and before 32, I'm done giving birth, but God's time is the best.

    That thing called marriage needs grace of God for us not to miss it maritally.




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My own is it’s not by force to marry, can’t you just be single and happy?.... don’t be pressured into marriage, just do you ☮️

      Delete
    2. Whenever God says is the right time.
      I got married at 23/24. Finished my service and just started working.
      Sometimes I wish I got married at 18, my kids would have been older now.
      Some other times I wish I got married later so ild have enjoyed more of my single life and probably be starting my PhD by now.
      In everything I still give God the glory cus I found my actual purpose.

      If I was to do it all again, I'll still marry when I did or would I?

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    3. Marry when you are emotionally, psychologically, financially, and physiologically ready to marry. Using only age is why most people enter one chance.

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    4. Nothing beats having ur kids early. U mustn't stay put in d marriage, if my daughter ( I am not going d Godforbid way) gets preggy at 15/16... I must encourage her to have that child.
      Late has its advantages as well

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    5. I wish I married early but the creator of the universe the owner of destiny did not permit it.I am in my late 30s still believing God for my rightful partner.I hope He God answer me this time and make my life beautiful till my old age Amen

      Delete
    6. Early marriage is supported by the Medical Sciences, in terms of pregnancy and birth, sexuality and even pathologies (medical issues). This isn't saying it's a 'must', rather something to keep us in perspective.

      Delete
  2. I actually prefer getting married early, birth your kids and then relax but then again life has no manual. Some of us actually planned getting married at a certain age but marriage didn't happen and life continues until we find our partners

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  3. If your time comes early for marriage, good.
    If you expected it to come early and it didn't come at your own expectation but later come, good. (I don't want to use late) God is never late.

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  4. Marry when you meet your best friend who is also your soul. That is the only secret to a happy married life.

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    Replies
    1. Marriage can make or mar someone The issue of marring early or late most times put people under pressure hence we tend to just to get into marriage without adequeate preparation. Marriage needs adequate preparation and planning to get it right. Omce we know this and it would save us a lot of stress.

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    2. One chilled orijin for you.

      You can marry early at 22, birth 6 kids and at 36 you become a widow and back to singlehood settings.
      Some got married at same age, not widowed but miserable in the loveless marriage while their schoolmate marries at 36 into a sweet marriage and waiting to pop babies.

      Just follow your heart and pray that the Holy Spirit leads.
      Shikena!

      Delete
    3. Proudly feminist20 March 2021 at 20:04

      You are correct lady. I got married at 21, had kids at 24. Now, kids are older, I'm single again. Met a guy who wants to marry me, but wants kids. I don't want kids, so I said No. Tbh, if I had waited and got married at 30, I would have been more mature and ready for kids and marriage. Instead I was discovering myself in marriage, which the other party didn't take very well. Honestly, you can marry anytime, but don't have kids early. It's very stressful and can break you.

      Delete
  5. The pressure I'm facing right now from my parents is making me depressed. Some persons say money makes dem happy but in my case it isn't. I want to love and be loved.i have a friend on my case but I really don't love him maybe because his source of income isn't genuine and I'm a strong advocate of genuine source of income. Life no balance shs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whatever you do, do not settle
      I am of the believe that "a man will always come" .

      Happiness is not necessarily found in marriage cus even when you find someone you love, you can still get hurt.

      True happiness if finding out why you were created, what do you do that gives you joy or what do you learn that makes you happy?
      Now about passion discovery, it mostly has to do with something that benefits other people. Think...that's the greatest fulfilment.

      Delete
  6. Every woman wish is to get married at early age, because of child bearing.
    Some have it easy and it comes as they wish.
    While some are still waiting .
    What matters is your happiness and peace of mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not every woman, please. It’s only in Africa and South Asia and Africa that it’s a thing.

      Europeans and North Africans prefer to marry in the late twenties and thirties be said they are more career driven.

      I live in Europe and I married in my thirties and I’d like my daughter to do same. I don’t mind her having a boyfriend, but I’d like to have kids in her 30s.

      Delete
    2. Not every woman biko. Do you! Discover yourself first before getting married.

      Delete
  7. I was told by my doctor to get hitched because of my genotype to avoid complications......i told him to sell me a man!

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  8. "You have money, what's stopping you.....you're not getting younger...your friends are married...that your former classmate visited us with his wife and two kids...."
    My parents, family and friends will be fine las las. Where them want me to find wife marry abeg? How many marriageable women dey available? Where them dey? I'm a goddamn realist. I face my fears, worries and future with my eyes open. I will never use my hand to procure misery for myself. Getting a marriageable woman to marry has gradually become an illusion. Nigerian girls just carry rotten character dey waka about. The good ones are hardly seen. From work to home. Routine. If I don't marry, so be it. But I will never step down my standards. Never! Make I dey old dey go. E for only pain me if I no get money.

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    Replies
    1. I actually know a lot of responsible girls who are single, I don't know where you have been looking.

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    2. Push up leave that maladaptive daydreamer. Oga na your type you dey jam na abi you no like your type.

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    3. Oga Caesar, there are good girls out there. You just attract what you are

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    4. One question

      You, are you marriageable...

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    5. Ceaser, you are not kidding me?
      You are the opposite of the girls that want a God fearing man meanwhile a God fearing man will come they give excuses up and down.
      You want a good girl in a Rihanna body/tush lifestyle,dem dey oo but those ones no dey tolerate bullshit because they know they are hotcakes too!

      Delete
    6. What of Gyal? I was (am) rooting for you two!

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    7. 16:11 did you just say gyal? Two hot bloods? Abeg make una no make that mistake na God I take beg beg you.

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    8. You know, you can actually do hookups(is this the word to use?) right. If someone knows a good girl, they can introduce you two. And give it a try. Do it honestly, if it doesn't work then... You keep searching.

      You know that passage about he who FINDS a wife?? Yeah. God knows you may have a standard and people around you may not match up, so you have to go and find her.

      Good luck

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    9. You know, you can actually do hookups(is this the word to use?) right. If someone knows a good girl, they can introduce you two. And give it a try. Do it honestly, if it doesn't work then... You keep searching.

      You know that passage about he who FINDS a wife?? Yeah. God knows you may have a standard and people around you may not match up, so you have to go and find her.

      Good luck

      Delete
    10. You know, you can actually do hookups(is this the word to use?) right. If someone knows a good girl, they can introduce you two. And give it a try. Do it honestly, if it doesn't work then... You keep searching.

      You know that passage about he who FINDS a wife?? Yeah. God knows you may have a standard and people around you may not match up, so you have to go and find her.

      Good luck

      Delete
    11. Shooter gal nko? Na wife material o!

      Delete
  9. I'll say get married when you are mentally, financially, spiritually, and emotionally ready.

    You can marry early or late and be miserable. Vice versa. Just know when you're ready so you don't bring innocent kids into this world to suffer and so you won't put unnecessary pressure on yourself as well.

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  10. No marriage. This is coming from a mgtow. Since I no like masturbation, I buy sex almost every weekend. Have been so happy, in perfect health, zero worries and living with no woman wahala. guys!, follow this path and thank me later. End of story!

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    Replies
    1. Thank u for STD and Godless life? We'll pass.

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    2. Are you buying sex from men? Since the movement swears off women. Men going their own way is an anti feminist movement

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  11. I dont even know the answer to this question sef.....get married when you find the RIGHT MAN; be it early or late.
    My eldest sister got married at 21,immediately after school. My dad wasnt happy at 1st,felt she was too young. But she married a very responsible man dat we all loved. They have been married almost 19yrs now.
    Me i married late,people wld say i was choosey but i had dated a few ass-holes in d past and was willn to wait till i find a good man,no matter d time.
    The truth is we all have different destinies,just marry when you find a GOOD man. Early or late doesnt matter.

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  12. Marry when and only when you meet the right person abeg.

    A bad Marriage can shorten your life while a good one will establish you.
    Onye nwere nti ya nuru

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  13. It all depends on when you find your best friend.
    I got married at 19 and now with 5kids and I'm done. Athough twins twice.
    Most of my friends discouraged me then. But I'm happy with the decision I made.

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  14. Happiness is the only desirable component in both early and late marriages and if that is missing (even if you lasted long in the marriage and popped kids), you still failed miserably.

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  15. The right time in my opinion is when you have not just a tangible source of income;but a legit one too..

    I married quite early and from the side I'm from;it was more of a surprise when my Dad told his Kinsmen that I was getting married;considering my age and the "Aboy" they know
    .πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

    Most even thought my parents were the one marrying a wife for me..πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜‚

    Will I advice anyone marry early? Not a yes or No because maturity and responsibility from what I have seen and known has nothing to do with your age,and also note that finance plays a very major role in raising a family hence the emphasis on having a source of income;if possible multiple..

    In summary;run at your own pace and don't allow anyone put pressure on you about how it's too early or late;because price of Baby diaper,food,school fees,house rent,home upkeep,wife allowance and much more has no business with your age and MUST be done as at when due..

    Nothing like Baby pooing and you say "Wifey ahh I don't have money for diaper today,so let him not poo too much today"..

    Get married when you are emotionally,mentally,verbally,psychologically and a bit financially(e no dey full belle oo) ready..

    UdΓ³

    @MARTINS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Likes ×1,00000,00000,00000
      Martins you're an awesome gentleman.
      I've been reading this blog more like 10years now and I've seen how you grew. Your mental psyche leaves me in awe.Just want you to know I'm wicked proud of you.

      Delete
    2. AwwwπŸ™‚πŸ˜ŠπŸ™‚ Thanks so much Chantel;it's the Lords doing and we are grateful

      I really appreciate your kind words;God bless you and do have a nice time..

      @MARTINS

      Delete
  16. I got married traditionally,few months away from my 17th birthday. So I can speak on this topic with confidence.


    Early marriage has its perks no doubts.

    As a lady I'll say early marriage is the best if:
    1) You have your own steady source of income (not salary earned).
    2) You were raised a confident child who can speak and stand up for herself, regardless.
    3) You are getting married to your friend whom you are on same wavelength with. Same pedigree would be a bonus ("Be not unequally yoked" 2 Cor. 6:14).

    Do these and every other thing shall be added unto you. ✌

    I wouldn't trade my babies for anything. They are my companion, best friends, chef, confidant, name it! Whereas hubby is a stranger to me...kids and myself, maybe.

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  17. If I had gotten married @ 21 which is what I wanted cos I finished my Bsc at 21,I would ve gone back to my papa house by now,cos my mum was going thru some shit in her own marriage with my dad and I was carrying a very stubborn mentality but God in his infinite mercy delayed me till I was 27 and I learned to handle things more maturedly,and He blessed me with one of the best men on Earth,I prayed never to marry a man like my dad and God answered me..Early marriage still make sense cos by now I would have finished child-bearing...

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    Replies
    1. Are you me though??I refused to marry at 22 oh.I am sure I would have divorced by now.I am glad I waited.I knew i had to work on myself.I was so immature,childish and lacked manners and respect.I felt I was too beautiful and every man should worship me.Chai!!! Not to talk of my temper.it was horrible.I also thought shouting and mortal kombat with verbal abuse in a relationship was normal and compulsory.Because of my parents marriage.My growth has really helped my marriage now.I married at 27 to an amazing man that marvels at my wisdom and does nothing without my advice.With how I handled a situation,my husband has been faithful and committed for our 8 years together now.

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  18. Young women in the house, please if you find a good man that want to marry you, marry him! Don't follow bandwagon of you're still too young, as far as you're above twenty, marriage should be welcomed.

    The stress that goes with trying to conceive in your late thirties and forties nor be here! Don't be deceived by some women that comes online to downplay marriage; marriage is such a beautiful thing and even more beautiful when done early, give birth before your thirties or early thirties; raise your kids, take care of yourself and your man and live happily ever after (yes, you can have that happily ever after)

    The new trend of marrying late is not a good one for women! Young women should read about the woman anatomy to understand.
    And for those that will come under my comment to say they know someone that got married in her early twenties and they were TTC like forever, the percentage is very low compared to many young women that got married early, they have their kids and now enjoying their home. Many of these women have kids that are like their siblings.

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    Replies
    1. My friend married at 18 as a virgin. We are in our so called late 30’s now and she’s still TTC. TTC issues almost have nothing to do with age but medical conditions and genetics. By the way not all women should have kids but culture forces them. I will be marrying late and I am glad. Because if I married those so called good men when they asked, my marriage would have crashed. They turned out to be not so good. There is no pressure in this life, I am very ambitious and if you know you are, please accomplish your milestones before marriage. I know this because, Nigerian men even as I am not try to put me under their feet and sabotage me because they can’t bear a woman that can stand on her own. Same way they will try to destroy the one trying to grow in marriage to they can turn her to nuisance and mental patient while they cheat endlessly. May God help us to get it right.

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    2. I agree with you ma'am. But then again we have to still consider finance right? Let's say I'm graduating at 23/24 and no skill, no source of income.

      We've heard a lot of tales and warning on why you must have your own money as a woman before any relationship, especially marriage. So what should be done??

      Las Las. All I'm praying for is God's will. May he bless me with his son whom he has made with me in mind. Honestly, looking for love, friendship ET Al now, is hard.

      It is well

      Delete
    3. I actually planned my life to be married at 24 tops, be done birthing before 30 I don't plan on having plenty kids. But, man proposes, God disposes

      Delete
  19. Hmmmmm it is better for ladies to start getting ready to marry once they clock 21. They should date older and ready guys. Date like four to five guys(not sleep with). Marry God willing before 25/26.You grow with your babies. A friend and age mate married at 22 her kids are 20, 19 15. I'm here still TTC cause of genotype wahala. Pls young girls marry early and God willing a responsible guy. Out won't miss out on dating if your guy is good company

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  20. Early marriage is good but it is advisable people marry when they think they are financially, emotionally and physically ready. Once you find the right person, no need wasting time about it, do the needful but make sure you both are on the same wavelength, have a regular source of income and have a common understanding of how you want your marriage to be. Marry early and marry right.

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    Replies
    1. How do we know the right person?? And how do we marry right?? God help us(singles)

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    2. @ Hydrogen.. Amen to your prayers.

      But again, I think it is easy to know the right person. Your heart would feel it. You head would do the same too. But you have to be right to meet the right person. Like BV earlier said, like minded people meet someone just as them. I know many guys pretend alot but dont give them the reason toy with you just because you need someone in your life so much. There are so many ways you know who is right and fake.

      Delete
  21. It's when u realize that menopause doesn't exactly wait for ur seventieth birthday. It can actually come early to the party; and that's, in ur late forties. Na dat one dey reset brain. More education on this is required for young women. That's not to say u shd jump in with any one u see, sha. Shine eye and pray. God's time is the best.

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  22. My friend got into Menopause in her late 20's.
    Thankfully she married when we were in the third year in the university.
    Had her Ist two daughters in quick succession.
    Marrying early really worked for her in that regard.

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  23. It is common knowledge that one is implored to get married they attain maturity emotionally, psychologically, financially, and physiologically.
    But we often base our "right time" to when we are financially adequate. Which isn't bad but so wrongly applied. As long as there's a stead source of income with good financial discipline, jointly supportive and complemented by a very understanding duo. It makes sense to start a family, one at a time. Another issue is spacing - we prefer a 2yr space.

    I got married at 28, from the 1st or 2nd Stella's mingle post, miraculously to my baby daddy. Who the family strained our marriage earlier at 22. And he was even a better man than the one I met at 20. At 22, I was working already. That helped me with my baby girl. Today, we have 3 kids (2 boys) and what man delayed God still fulfilled.

    Early is good if you have a partner whose intentions are as genuine as yours and works smartly. But there's actually no right time, but the appointed time. One of the many feminine problem is our "girls instinct" and coloured lines. One of the many male problem is indecision and patriarchy.

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  24. I would have been married at 19 but my dad refused and I am really glad he did , I eventually got married at 26 to an amazing man . At 19 I was naive and didn’t even know what I wanted with my life yet , I was still in school and really impressionable. So when this older business man splashed me with money and care I though that meant he would make a good husband. Who knows , he might have , but there is no telling now because I didn’t marry him .

    The person I was when I was 26 is totally different from the person I was at 19 , I knew what I wanted with my life at 26 and was actively on a path to get there . I met my husband at 25 and we both had similar goals , he was also an amazing guy . The amount of growth and heights we have achieved as a family , I know it’s because we were both mentally ready and are able to move our family forward together.

    I would have been a domant wife if I married the other guy when I was younger , because he was older and richer than me . I would not have been able to grow as an individual because I would always be under his shadow .

    For me one of the major disadvantages of marrying young is the fact that you might change and evolve as you grow and eventually realise you would not have married this person if you were older and more mature . Looking back , I cannot believe I wanted to die on top that guy matter .

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  25. Marriage ish
    Allow God lead
    Be willing to listen and follow
    Have trusted mentors to guide you

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  26. Early is good.i gave birth to my first child at 22 .am 45 now .he just bought a brand new range rover for me.he is a basketballer in canada anyway.

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  27. Dear parents PLEASE treat your children right.

    Many of us would not have rushed into marriage if we got parental love.

    Early marriage is good for some and late marriage is good for some.

    How to discover which one works for you is to seek the almighty creator of you!

    Which kind of a mother still beat her 20 year old daughter three days to her traditional marriage?
    That she had to limp all day?

    Which kind of a mother turns her first child into an non-glorified maid for her much younger siblings?

    Which kind of a mother accuses her virgin daughter of prostitution?

    Which kind of a mother you tell your secrets to and then she tells others ?

    Which kind of a mother put the life of a child on hold for other children?

    Which kind of a mother that is mostly angry and blame a child for her father's short comings?

    Which kind of a mother makes a child feels worthless and wish for death soon?

    Which kind of a mother builds a wall around a child from the outside world?

    At a point I felt I didn't deserve goodness after all, until this man came and told me he loves me and he showed me love ,the kind of love every child deserves, the kind of love I haven't felt in a very long time, the kind of love that keeps you alive and hopeful, the kind of love that brings smiles to your heart ....

    Yes I got married to that man at 21!
    And yes he is a good man!

    And no I wouldn't have gotten married early if my mother and her house represent peace to me and not the other way round.

    And I would want to have discovered myself before marriage and not discovering myself in marriage.

    I would want to have grown more before marital commitments.

    I have three beautiful kids now and I am 29.

    So,dear parents PLEASE treat your children right and correct them with love...you are ,you should be their first love.

    Dear ladies PLEASE save yourself a long time torture by HAVING YOUR OWN SOURCE OF INCOME BEFORE MARRIAGE!

    All in all I am grateful To GOD ALMIGHTY MY CREATOR for my paths for HE surely knows what's good for me a d I believe in HIS plan for my life.

    My husband is a GOOD MAN ,we have our differences ,huge ones!
    I am still learning the rope of marriage even after 3 children.

    Please if you come across this comment , please say a prayer for my mummy to be a better parent to her children . Help say a prayer for her to quench her anger issues ( can't stop the tears now)....

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  28. @ 21 March 2021 at 00:55, Peace be with you. I am going through a few similar issues like you at the moment. God be with us, amen.
    Wipe your tears and intensify your prayers that we be the best mothers to our children. As we raise them right, we make the world a better place.
    Just focus on the positives, commit the negatives to God and hands off them.
    Love and light babe.

    ReplyDelete

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