Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicles Of A Married Man - 21

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Sunday, April 18, 2021

Chronicles Of A Married Man - 21

''Love is never enough''..







I told him i would not advise him to marry Anita and I could see the sad look on his face. He had always seen me as a friend and an elder brother. Inasmuch as he loves the lady, he saw some truth in what I said; and that broke his heart.

Earlier in the week, he called me on the phone. 

“Oboy! Matter dey ooo, abeg make we meet for joint this evening, my head dey burn”.

 “Wetin be the matter?”, I asked.

 “Just come, nor be phone talk”. 

I was wondering what could be the issue because the last time I saw him, he was okay. We even spoke the previous day.

I get to the hang-out spot that evening. He was already there and on his second bottle of Beer. I placed order for mine and also requested barbequed fish. 

We started talking. When the fish eventually arrived, he said “abeg I nor wan chop fish, no appetite”.

“Anita has a child already”, he started. “I didn’t know that young girl in their house she used to tell me is her younger sister, is actually her child. She said she decided to tell me as she discovered she was already falling in love with me and she knows the feeling is mutual. She didn’t want me to find out from another person”. My friend was really pained.

As at that time, I had known him for eight years both on personal and professional level. He is the God-father to my boys and whenever Uncle P (as they usually call him) is coming, there is no shortage of goodies and fun. 

Early in that year, he introduced Anita to me as his girlfriend and the love of his life. For the years I had known him, he hadn’t formally introduced any woman to me. Of course, there were no shortage of women in P’s life, he had the looks and there was oil money to throw around. Never had he told me he was in love with any woman. Anita was special and I hadn’t seen my friend so happy with any woman like this before.


My wife and I, as gossip partners, had talked about Anita the previous night. My wife did not approve of her or even wanted my friend to marry her in the first place. She felt she was too old for him and overly too exposed for P as a wife. 

P was almost 40years at that time and was just a year older than Anita. From the first day my wife set eyes on her, she didn’t even bother to pretend that she liked her. The two dinner dates we had together as couples were disasters as my wife was virtually frowning the whole time. My wife felt she was manipulating P. 

In her mind, P deserved the best woman because he is such a wonderful soul.

Other friends have taken notice of the whole situation and it has become the proverbial case of who will tell the king that he is dancing naked in the market square. P was already losing friends and he had already introduced her to his family and visited hers. Looking at the whole thing, felt I had to tell him what we all feel and “our truth” as third parties to the whole relationship.

I took my time to explain our reasons which were numerous including the age factor, compatibility issues-he needed a calmer and more cool-headed person, family and friends not liking her, the limited chances of childbearing due to age and the nature of his job, her past reputation which we had to dig out after some investigations and to cap it all, he wasn’t in control of the relationship.

I concluded by saying “love is never enough. Even if it is enough reasons for marriage today, what about in 10years time?”

The long and short of it all was that the relationship broke up after seven months.

 Anita was heartbroken and P didn’t hide his resentment for me and my wife. But what do we care, we saved him. P is the so-called manchelor I have been talking about in my last couple of write-ups. He eventually got married this year and he had our 100% support. As for Anita, I believe she is doing fine.

That leads me to the question for this week: Is it right to interfere in people’s relationships? Is it supposed to be our business? Naturally I would have said no. But when it comes to marriage issues in this side of the world; when the chips are down, it becomes everybody’s business.



I have always told young people that whenever they want to get married and they don’t have the majority support of both friends and family, they should “abort mission”. Most times when people are in “love”, they hardly see beyond their emotions. They are either carried away by the fantastic sex, the amazing chemistry, the wonderful moments, the spirituality of it all and the God-told-me feelings, and even the captivating personality of the partners. They fail to ask and answer critical questions and tend to assume the future based on what they see and feel at the moment.

I’m one of those people that will always advise couples to remain in their marriages except your life is threatened. So, I would rather a bad marriage didn’t happen than to encourage a friend or family member to “bear” the marriage. I have a sister that is already swallowing the bitter pill of such marriage and I know the feeling.

I believe there is more to consider when choosing your life partner than just loving the person. Like one of my exes will always say… I love you don’t pay the bills.


Till next week

Ciao!

139 comments:

  1. What about a scenario where family and friends are interfering just because of their own selfish reasons?Dear poster, family and friends opinion isn't right all the time.
    I know of someone whose serious relationship didn't lead to marriage cos family and friends said they are not from the same tribe.
    What I would tell women is, if the man's family are those that are closely tied, the guy is a last born and you are not from the same tribe kindly abort mission.
    May God grant all single girls a man from the right family, amen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This writer is a very timid patriarchal man! His village wife we were pitying that he cheats on her is even wicked too. It's well

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    2. Let me not say much but sometimes let marry who they want, the fact that she has a child doesn't make her a bad person, even though I feel she should have told him earlier.

      I come from a family where we don't really get involved in peoples choices, except the person is outright troublesome.

      Delete
  2. "Love never fails..."
    That is what the Scriptures says, 1 cor. 13:8. That is what God says.
    Who is this darkening my counsel with words without knowledge?πŸŽ€πŸŽ€πŸŽ€πŸ™„

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Make sure to define the kind of love.

      Delete
    2. @Olomo
      What "kind of Love" does God talk about in the Scriptures?
      With what kind of Love did Jesus go to the cross for us?

      Delete
    3. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

      Delete
  3. Women hardly ever love themselves. See a woman who is unhappy in her marriage, whose husband cheats?
    That woman will separate and frown at two insects on nuptial flight. She will never like
    to see a happy marriage or an intending one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Add single and bitter ladies, widowed ladies too. I know what I'm saying pls

      Delete
    2. Honestly @anon13:12 imagine? What's the posters wife's own that she had to behave in that manner? Enemies of progress. So 39 therefore you are not happy that she about to marry or what? This posters wife is a really wicked individual enemies of progress.

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    3. Spot on! You saw that too. Smh.

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    4. So if a 40yrs old man can not marry a 39yrs old lady, who can then marry her? A 29? 35? Na wah! Considering their ages, age shouldn't be a factor to both of them again.
      Talking of exposure, how can a lady be too exposed for a 40yrs old man? Is he that foolish?. Na wah!
      I was only 23 when I married my husband. His sisters initially opposed. They said I look like I will control my husband, who by d way is already 36. Thank God for his parents who insist that we are compatible. Now even the sisters have seen that our getting married is purely divine.
      If I was the friend, I won't break up with Anita because of the concern they raised, except of ofcourse because of d child, thats if I am not comfortable with it. I feel couples should weigh the opinions of others before they take their final decision on their marriage. Anita wouldhave made a good wife.

      Delete
  4. You and your amebo wife. Wetin concern una? If she too old nko? Una leave una own kon pour san san inside another woman garri. If she be your sister nko? Abi na from Heaven your wife come down kon marry you? Awon gbeborun oshi.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you ooooo!!

      "She felt she was too old for him and overly too exposed for P as a wife." e don turn bad thing for a woman to be in her late 30s abi? Too exposed faya. You see why I say women are their own enemies? Oga poster; clap for yourself and your wife oo. Adviser Nowamagbe. It is P I blame last last. Someone came out and gave a full declaration and then you used it against her. That's why I believe some people prefer to be lied to. Anita has done well to leave P. A man that his decision is influenced by every other person except God and himself. Anita dodged a bullet. Too exposed indeed.

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    2. Abi ooo. The heart wants what it wants. So age is not a number because your friend is involved? Last time I checked even having a child is not a crime, cos life happens. And now he is married to your approved person, you still can't guarantee his happiness.

      Delete
    3. Imagine!!!

      I don't even understand my gender.

      If Anita was her blood sister, would she have said she was too old or exposed?? She would have been very happy for her...Quite annoying.

      I have seen ladies in their 20s who struggled to conceive. My sister in law married in her late 30s, had 3 kids within 3 years, one twin pregnancy.

      There is no hard and fast rule to these things.

      Human beings and playing God in people's lives.

      Delete
  5. Alcohol is the fuel for sexual immorality.
    Note that I did not write that only drinkers cheat, before some take my statement running berserk. 😝😝

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    Replies
    1. Telling your friend about how you felt concerning Anita was OK.

      I will do same too.

      Delete
  6. Not sorry to say that you and your wife are lousy and useless people! What concerns you with someone else's relationship? P loved Anita but I didn't see where you wrote that he's in love with his current wife. Anita's age factor you said? Its none of your business!!! Ahh... God punish you! 😑😑😑

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  7. Replies
    1. So not fair, did she have to show her disdain for her right to her face? Such bad manner. Shey your wife is now happy her plan worked out.

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    2. Very uncouth. Some people sha.......

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  8. It is morally wrong to interfere with other people's relationship. But if you must do, make sure it is for a very important reason that can get the person out of a serious mess in life and the future, but if it's for selfish reasons, its all wrong to interfere.

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  9. God please when it is time for me to settle down, let that man never ask anyone for opinion. And may he not be friends with people that don't just like me, because of nonsense reason. Your wife was frowning her face, what was her business please.

    When she wanted to marry her own, the father never liked you, shea she still went ahead, and why didn't you abort mission. It's P I blame, a man that can't stand on his own decision. Mshewwwwwww

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His wife low-key likes his best friend.

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    2. Exactly my thoughts Castle!

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    3. Castle, pls do not sow evil seeds in the poster's mind else you will be guilty of he and his wife's offence

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    4. Ah poster, please o what I meant was that your wife likes your best friend with the love of Christ. Anita will lead him to hell and she didn't want that so she rescued him, with your help of course.
      Thank you.

      Delete
  10. U and ur wife are just busy bodies...wetin concern ur wife when the guy is not her brother...mtchewwwwwwww....oversbabi people...u wnat him to marry someone who will be at ur beck and call....mtchewwww

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously
      The thing just tire me
      They want someone that will endure their friend's waka dupe spirit.

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    2. Anita pepper them. She was wayy out of their league!

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    3. When you get to that stage you would understand.

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  11. What you and your wife did is so wrong. Even if Anita is older and more exposed than your friend so what? You deprived that your friend from the happiness he might have experienced if he had married Anita. How are you sure he will be happy with the under 16 he just married. You and your wife should do away with such mentality. Una no try.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not like this indecisive immature friend is a saint o
      They even went to dig up her past..
      Chai
      I'm taking it very personal Oga poster
      E go shock una

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    2. Darajah you are back? Hmmnn

      Delete
    3. This is how people bring bad karma and curses on their own heads. The story is all about control. They wanted P to marry a girl they can control and felt Anita undeserving of a good man because of her past! All this from a man whose own father in law did not like him at first o. P in turn is an immature indecisive man. Good luck to him and his second best. Shey everyone knows their story now. I pray God provides Anita her own man.

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    4. Just goes to show the lengths some people go to once they don't like you.

      Delete
    5. They’re talking about Anita’s past but ignored P’s sordid past.

      As for poster’s wife, like someone mentioned up there, please avoid bitter people at all costs. All these people that harp on others not being married yet, have children yet, very judgmental of others, and just all around miserable, please avoid them at all cost. Most of them are miserable and damaged.

      Delete
  12. All i got from this write up is'
    *don't you marry a lady that is considered 'old'.
    *don't marry a single parent.
    Who is he that will speak when the LORD has not spoken?

    A man that engages in beer parlour cheap talk,a cheat and his equally fustrated wife getting bitter at another woman that can hold her own and also living life @its best.
    Meddlesome irritants and a push over friend that had no mind of his own. Disgusting will be puttin it midly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have said it all.

      Delete
    2. Gbas gbos

      Is the friend young?
      So 39 is old ?
      Does he not have a past?

      Committee of people feeling entitled and funky wanting perfection for a very imperfect man

      I applaud her honesty in speaking up about the child

      Woman wey dem dey manage marry na manage she dey enjoy marriage

      May we not be Plan B!

      Delete
  13. All i got from this write up is'
    *don't you marry a lady that is considered 'old'.
    *don't marry a single parent.
    Who is he that will speak when the LORD has not spoken?

    A man that engages in beer parlour cheap talk,a cheat and his equally fustrated wife getting bitter at another woman that can hold her own and also living life @its best.
    Meddlesome irritants and a push over friend that had no mind of his own. Disgusting will be putting it midly.

    May I and my loved ones never encounter such demons as you and your likes in JESUS NAME,AMEN!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. whatever you and your wife do to Anita will come back to you and your wife. your wife was jealous of the type of love Mr p have for Anita and become so jealous. if she can't have such love , then let her destory it. I pray that God will give Anita a good and better in Jesus name. AMEN.

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    2. Would have handed you a very chilled drink but rain's falling. Abeg, manage this warm choco drink * hands you a big mug*

      Delete
    3. Very well said Shantelle.

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    4. A big AMEN @Shantelle empire, haba wicked woman she frowned to the extent it caused chaos. Your wife no get joy in her life atall. She's so frustrated. A happy woman will never behace that way.

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    5. Amen And Amen.

      The frustration is why a lot of them are demonic to their house helps. Frustrated in their marriages and taking their anger out on innocent and vulnerable people.

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    6. Like,someone you don't know! Someone you've never met prior to that time. The very first time and she was busy 'franking' face like busu.

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    7. Oh shantelle and you had to use the golden word "franking"πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    8. LMAO @ franking face like busy.

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  14. This poster and the wife are wicked.
    You judged another human as if you are God. You went to dig Anita's past as if your wife was a saint when you married her. May someone do to you what you did to Anita. So your friend never had a.past. he was all saintly. You guys were intimidated by Anita's personality. You guys wanted someone you can control so you can continue to leech on your oil company friend. Your decision and action was selfishly motivated.
    I don't wish your friend bad but let's pray the wife is as saintly as you approved in the next 5yrs.
    I don't like your type and you will reap the reward of your manipulative self in years to come. Your wife is not a good person at all. I fear for her daughters in law. Why would she frown at a dinner over something that is not her business. Did she have any personal beef with Anita. She's a very bad woman and will reap the fruits of her wickedness. This your chronicle no follow at all. You have to advise yourself first before advising young people. Nonsense

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    Replies
    1. The chronicle no follow at all! Oga poster has fallen his hand. See the petty bitterness. You and your wife should go and work on yourselves. Chaiiii!

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    2. His wife’s beef with Anita is that Anita represents to her what she wishes to be...carefree and happy but she can’t and will rather remain in her miserable marriage.

      Delete
    3. couldn't resist the urge...
      How won't his wife be frustrated when she goes to bed at 11pm and wakes up at 4am, popping pain killers.

      I am sure Anita is one classy lady, way classier that's why they got involved.

      It's not like his 40year old friend is even a catch.

      Oga una no try sha

      Delete
  15. Poster, you and your wife are judgemental and WICKED!

    Can you guarantee that Mr. P would be happy with the woman you all pushed him to marry instead of Anita.

    Anita is too old, Anita is too wild, Anita is this and that bit you forgot Anita is a human being who DESERVES to love and be love, to get married to the man who CHOSE TO LOVE HER!

    Baby or not, she spoke up on time and told her boyfriend the truth but 'Mba nu!' you had to use that against her and go digging up her past as if you and you wife are saints.

    Poster, has any woman ever aborted a baby for you or has your wife or sisters ever done that?
    Do you or any of your brothers have a baby before wedlock or outside wedlock? Just so you would understand YOU HAD NO RIGHT DESTROYING ANITA and Mr. P's love and opportunity for marriage.

    See you playing God! πŸ™„πŸ˜ πŸ€¦‍♀️

    Kay

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    Replies
    1. 1000 likes for this.

      Delete
    2. Anita is this and that *but*....
      Anita is a human being who DESERVES to love and be *loved*,...
      (sorry for the typos)

      Kay

      Delete
    3. God bless you @anon14:05. Poster you and wife shouldnt think you are free from the repercussion of this evil. Just wait for it in the future. It's coming back to you guyz especially that your wife.

      Delete
  16. Oga writer I am not even going to pretend about this your write up. I read it and was just looking from up to down for what the Anita did or didn't do that made you and your wife to instantly dislike her and I didn't come up with anything.
    Her only offense was that she was was doing what nature put in us all; the ability to grow. Yiu talked about age factor. It's men like you that make women to lie about their real age.
    She has a child from her past,so does what. Is it because non of your philandering friend's exes kept their pregnancy? You guys want a calm wife for your friend but that isn't the truth. You want a naive girl that will come into the marriage and stomach all his waka waka without asking questions, someone you all will be able to manipulate. You want a woman that will pretend till she finally gets the ring.
    Of course,I will not excuse her for not being upfront with him about having a child. A man that will love you will love you regardless but then,I'm sure she must have learnt her lesson badly before getting that that conclusion.
    Today no follow abeg.

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  17. Ye shouldn't have interfered..I am of the school of thought to let everyone learn from their mistakes, that might make or mar them. Experience is always d best teacher whether good or bad, you will always find out so you don't hold grudges or resentment towards anyone.

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  18. If one of our sibling is interested in getting married to someone and we could sense some bad traits in his/her partner that is likely going to make the marriage suffer, we will interfere cos at the end of the day, na we go still suffer am together. We are that close...

    If it's a close friend, I will talk about it but the final decision to go ahead with the union lies with the person. The same thing applies to a sibling.

    If it is the age factor alone, then that isn't fair at all. Stopping a union just because the woman is older by just one year or few is not nice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But in this case, the woman wasn't even older. Less than 40 years! Poster, you and your wife will not go unpunished! Mark it.

      Delete
  19. I guess most of us do this a lot. I mean interfering in relationships.
    Yes, I get that your friend is special to you and you mean well for him. I think you guys were too involved in his relationship with Anita. Even to the extent your wife having to frown all the times you had dinner, not nice at all.
    You and your wife must have made Anita feel very uncomfortable and I welcomed. God knows if i was the one, I’d walk out on you guys.
    Your wife must be a saint πŸ’― with no blemishes at all.
    I disagree with you on aborting a mission when friends and family don’t like the man or woman you bring home. Even the ones we all claim to like mess up sometimes and you’d wonder why.
    What is wrong in marrying a woman you are older than with just a year?
    What do you mean by “limited chances of childbearing” na wa.
    You went ahead of “dig” up her past reputation, weldone.
    Since y’all feel like saints, I hope all is well with you.
    Let me set you straight, you are the real controller of his life. Nonsense.

    ReplyDelete
  20. This write up is so annoying and right now I detest you poster. Who the hell are you to think that she would have child bearing issues? God...Are you now one to dictate to a full grown man who to marry and who not to? I blame your friend who isn't man enough to be decisive. You and your wife are enemies of progress, bunch of insecure people who can't stand a woman who is self made woman. You were probably scared that anita would turn uncle p's attention from you....you'll definitely reap what you sow. I hope his marriage stands the test of time. Foolish man and wife. Stella post my comment

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  21. Poster you succeeded in destroying someone's happiness and as for that your sadist of a wife, her reward awaits her

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    Replies
    1. She’s already ripping her reward in that prison sentence with hard labour she calls marriage.

      Delete
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  23. Some women are wicked sha. Your wife made another woman uncomfortable from the first time she met her. As if she is a saint. Anyway, in my opinion, God saved Anita from the wrong man.

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  24. Reminds me of a big aunty that the family of her man then rejected her because she was past 30 and had a negative past. They even used the "issue with child bearing" angle.

    Well, she got married to another man who accepted her and has since had her kids. The other man married someone younger and approved however they are still TTC. My big aunty's kids are over ten years old now.

    This is not to mock anyone TTC. All I'm trying to highlight is things don't go according to plan or assumptions. We don't know the future. Some ladies who aborted in the past are having kids without issues while some who remained virgins until marriage are TTC for years. Some married in their 30s or even 40s and had kids without issues while some who married in their 20s didn't have it that easy. Some ladies are in their 30s or 40s and still virgins while some in their 20s have over 10 body counts.

    I hope your friend doesn't come back to resent you all for influencing him to lose out on who would have been a God-given partner

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  25. To think I was pitying the wife when the poster admitted he cheats. Nah! Let her carry her cross. Spoiling the chances of another woman thinking your own would be fine.

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    1. I thought I wrote it the other day here. That sometimes women are part of the problem. I wrote about how two married women who were fighting mocked me for being single when I went to settle their quarell. Can we all see this now?

      So because a woman is older means she must not marry again in this life? What did she do exactly?what was her crime you could not point to one thing exactly. You and your wife could not say what was the exact thing she did to you both. You were just beating around the bush.

      You control your friend for so long in his single state and you were so used to it that you could not bear to see him marry a woman who was smarter than you and your wife because you knew she would open his eyes and set him free from the hold you both had on him.

      Your wife a woman prevented a woman like herself from being happily settled. That lady did nothing to you both so why did your wife give her an attitude? The only sin she committed was being older by just one year and smarter than her dunce fiance you and your wife were busy controlling like a robot.

      I know you personally would not like being married to an older woman even if she was older by 2weeks judging by how you described your wife the other day. You said your wife was younger so therefore you had more sense than her. I laughed. So I can tell you not wanting to marry an older woman is due to your ego and you rubbed your insecurity off on your friend. Your friend was not bothered about her age because if he was he wouldn't have dated her or thought of settling down with her in the first place. That woman made you and your wife to feel inadequate that you both just couldn't wait to get rid of her.

      Anita was lucky not to marry your friend because if she had and they have a husband and wife quarell and your friend comes to you for advice you and your wife will add salt and pepper and eventually ruin their marriage las las with bad advice.

      That is why I hardly feel sorry for some women who cry that their husband is maltreating them. Because some of them aren't saints either. They just cannot carry their wickedness to reach their husband side. Some of these women are wicked to other women.

      Delete
  26. In the past, I used to ask God why I haven't found the right one at the time I planned i.e. in my 20s. I don't have a wayward past, been what society would term the "good" girl, hardworking and had a good job, whereas I was seeing ladies who lived double lives getting married to correct guys and having kids, living happy married lives.


    Now I know why it didn't happen for me. If I had married when I wanted to, I would have been a very judgemental person, thinking I was better than others as a result of my own so-called goodness. But life has taught me that God's grace is for everyone and marriage is not a reward for being a "good" person. I try to do the right thing because I love God, not because i want to be rewarded. I just focus on having a good relationship with God and being a better version of myself. When it is God's will for me to get married and the right person comes along, I know that no judgemental talk or assumptions from people just because I'm older would sway him.

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    Replies
    1. God bless you. πŸ€—

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    2. Aww anon God will hear your prayer hugs

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    3. You will marry right and marry the bone of your bone by God's grace, amen.

      Delete
  27. Anita should be praised for not aborting her daughter. Many girls have aborted children cos they fear what people will think of them. The story is unfortunate: to interfere in the relationship because she has a child and is older than your friend, and is approaching menopause is unfair. You have no right to interfere in that relationship based on these reasons. Anita is a cool woman to have spoken up early about her daughter, and you should have supported your friend for having such a truthful girlfriend. Instead, you chose to use it against her. Did you get any girl pregnant before you got married? I hope you she did not abort the child. Be guided and never look down on a woman for these baseless reasons you mentioned.

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  28. Wait o are you God?
    What do you mean limited chances of child bearing..
    Utterly disgusting!
    As for your wife I don't blame her it must be frustrating being married to a cheat like you that is why she will treat someone that has done her no wrong badly.

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  29. Today's story just rubbed me the wrong way. I mean the fault you found in her was being too old but actually younger than your crown prince and that she is a single mother. I don't know why women feel the need to hid their child(ren), I know about society's pressures and do we even blame the woman? She lied which I don't like but she had a point because the guy dumped her because she had a child. I believe your input wouldn't have deterred him if he didnt feel lied to about the child.

    But abeg people, when it comes to child bearing isn't it better to go with someone that has a child than the one that hasn't proven her fertility? Many young women that married as virgins nowadays are suffering from infertility so its wrong to assume an older woman with a child won't be able to bear children.

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    Replies
    1. "Many" young ladies that got married as virgins nowadays are not suffering from infertility. This hasty generalisation just to prove a point is not needed.

      Delete
    2. Very annoying story. They just ruin another woman's life due to selfish reason. I just hope the one this guy married do not eventually show them pepper. It will shock them that some smallie might carry big time craze pass the ones who are older.

      But I do not support your second paragraph. It is better to go with the one you love SIMPLE! and not with the one that has a child simply because you feel the person is fertile or not. That means absolutely nothing. The man can still marry the one that he thinks is fertile with a child and still wait a few years or more to have kids. Don't we read cases of women who are married but had to wait many years to birth their second child?
      Also saying 'many' women who got married as virgins are suffering from infertility is like you are over-reaching. Saying 'some' and not 'many' would have sufficed. Many is quite large.

      Delete
    3. Which one is proven fertility? Hope you know some people find it difficult to take in again even after a previous pregnancy?
      God has the final say abeg.

      Delete
  30. You guys don't get it. God was protecting Anita's interest! God knew her intended is a sissy and can't take care of her so he used poster and wife to remove Anita from that dangerous bond.

    Congrats Anita. God is actually preparing a man that will pamper you and carry you like an egg. He'll shield you from people like poster. Your wish will be first on his mind in Jesus name.

    Poster, get ready you reward is close by. You and your wife should get very ready.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AMEN!πŸ™

      Delete
    2. Gbam.

      God saved Anita from a lily liveried fellow.

      Delete
  31. Yeah!!! Poster, all these abuses on ya head!!! You got too comfortable and forgot the kind of blog visitors you are dealing with. Let this be a lesson for you...you no sabi everything.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Poster

    The other day you wrote all that thing about your wife waking up by 4am I did a 360 with your mind set. Money does not buy class.

    I wrote that day on how my husband treated me before we married. When we married how he knew I was lazy and employed nanny and help to attend to my every need. What I did not mention is that my husband earns far less than I do. I mean I earn over a Milly a month and he does around 750k pre Covid and now he earns around 400k through the salary cuts. In my case mine keeps increasing. So I did leave my matter here.

    Now back to you and this Anita story. You is a typical example of a man that never imagined he did be wealthy but all of a sudden got wealth and his now a nuisance. Your friend saw happiness but you all decided to make his marriage miserable like yours. You cheat on your wife. You make her miserable. You give her peanuts and she in turn sees what happiness looks like and then decided to end it all since she was not getting same but an excuse of a man who she will dump the day your bloody oil money goes back to zero. Cause if you check history you all always go broke las las hence why you now have entrepreneur courses prior to your retirements compulsory so you guys can effectively manage your gratuity.

    You see. Just like Anita I was that girl that everyone told my husband then my boyfriend not to marry. Oh. I grooved. I had done abortions. He knew. I had dated 10 guys and he knew. I had done drugs had some point and he knew. Matter of fact I was useless to my parents at some point. What ever he saw in me only him knew. The only thing I had coming was a growing career and he too had a flourishing one in IT not about money. His from an average home and I was too from one.

    So you see. If my husband had listened to those friends he did be probably miserable. You see those friends none of them match up to us. Some never even born. Some never marry. 8 years down the line I have 2 kids. Never cheated and will never in Jesus name. Business is flourishing. My career is ok however due to my deliberate pause to have time for my family so I am still in a good position not just getting promoted like before. My husband is doing great. Aspiring to further in his IT with IT Security and this is money for us later. He his happy and I am happy.

    Moral. Live and let's live. And face front. In your sisters case am sure her husband is a lazy man that brings nothing home and wants to be the man of his home and the babe no gree I lie? Is Anita in same shoes ??????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yours is different.. go and read through again abeg..

      Your husband knew all these because you opened up to him, you didn't hide your past from him, so he had a choice of either accepting you the way you were or leaving. He knew what he was getting into.

      Unlike you, Anita hid her past.. hiding that she even had a child.. any man that finds out such from any lady himself when the lady was hiding it and still goes ahead to marry such lady is a Pussy.. he'll cry lass lass..

      See me ehn, I have done stuff, lot of stuff actually, and I no dey hide am from people close to me.. it breads trust, makes one live a live without fear and with pure conscience...

      My point is let people know what they are getting into.. we shout it here everyday but your sisters keep coming with many and various excuses on how they should lie, manipulate and take things to the grave.. if only you know how small this world is, social media even makes it more of a 'global room', unlike the 'global village' it used to be.. it's very easy to know things, things change when people discover a truth themselves.. if una like make una dey drag with me dey go.. you'll remember all I said in due time

      Delete
    2. DANTE, you go and read this chronicle again. It was ANITA that told her boyfriend the truth that she had a baby when the relationship got serious.
      That relationship was just 7 MONTHS OLD!

      Anita did nothing wrong except that Poster and wife are nasty and judgemental.

      DANTE you are always quick to cast women into the same mould. So narrow-minded. πŸ˜–πŸ˜–πŸ˜–


      Delete
    3. Dante she needed to gain his trust. Just like I wrote up there my husband knew my past not cause he was in it from day 1. I wrote him a letter and told him I was not sure I could bear kids and I told him all my escapades in that letter. He destroyed it in front of me and told me that was my past. He saw a few for himself though with the drugs and he helped me out of it. Anita needed to gain her mans trust. That was the point of love and trust and this poster ruined the both of them chances of getting their happily ever after.

      Delete
    4. Dante,read the post again but this time gently. Anita confessed to him when she discovered they love each other.

      Delete
    5. It was an oversite, seen it.. and I'm so narrow-minded😊😊 ..

      She's manipulative.. 7 whole months before disclosing, so I'll be in a relationship with someone for 7 months and she didn't deem it fit to tell me she's has a child.. what have we been talking about the whole 7 months really?
      She's manipulative as fuck yea.. and yes, she hid it for that 7 months waiting to trap the guy deep in lov before disclosing.. posters wife could see through her.. next time she should disclose such important stuff early.. Talking about opening up cos she saw she's now in lov and shii.. so if she no fall in lov she first no talk.. manipulative shii

      Delete
  33. I think you are right on this.
    I believe love isn't enough. For instances if a man's family mostly mother hates you don't bother getting in.
    There are a lot of things you consider, not just love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know that's not really what the poster meant abi?

      Delete
  34. Did we all read thd same chronicle “I didn’t know that young girl in their house she used to tell me is her younger sister, is actually her child. U just switch n mix things up. Why did she not speak up in their first weeks of dating. My question is why is p beefing you and your wife?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You will not speak up till you get to a level of trust with your partner. No one is perfect oh. At least he found out through her not an outsider.

      Delete
    2. Exactly! You don't open your mouth to every Tom, Dick and Harry that says Hi and shout, "I have a 5 or 10 year-old daughter out of wedlock." Not even a girlfriend you haven't proven her weight in gold.

      WHO DOES THAT without getting to a level of trust? 🀦‍♀️

      MEN DO NOT EVEN EASILY TELL A BABE THEY LOVE THEY HAVE A BABY OUT OF WEDLOCK.

      Delete
    3. He’s beefing them because he ended up with a woman he doesn’t love and that one has probably started showing her true colors hence he’s deep in regret over losing Anita

      Delete
    4. In the end, the poster proved why Anita waited to tell him about the child. Because after she opened up and spoke the truth. They used it against her and he dumped her because of the child. Instead of them to appreciate her honesty.

      Delete
  35. Nice write up..

    Skimming through most of the comments above, one could deduce that we have so many 'Anitas' on this blog..
    Dirty past, manipulative, lairs, having kids that they call their siblings, pretenders, useless and bitter..
    We will keep opening una bumbumπŸ˜„πŸ˜Š
    See as them dey cry.. e pepper dem sha..

    Abeg.. Later jor.. having a very busy weekend..
    God bless you and your wife for saving P from marrying a bad wife.. na those kind babe dey make good girls feel say being good no dey pay..

    BTW, love is never enough.. It is unreliable
    If you don't control it, it will control you. It is a good servant but a bad master..

    Blessings

    ReplyDelete
  36. Family approval is not always a pointer to a successful marriage.

    I know a family that practically threw a first wife out and brought in a second wife for their brother on account of childlessness. Today, second wife don born 3 kids but the fight ehn? No be today matter.

    The family sef are tired are contemplating sending the girl packing but madam say " we die here". Everday na fight with bottle.

    ReplyDelete
  37. So proud of majority of the comments today. Majority didn't support this nonsense. Can you imagine? Is your friend a saint? Hasn't he slept with multiple people? I didn't even read of a major character flaw. Only she's 39, has a child and an assertive personality. Na wa for your and your wife. Shebi you and your wife have sisters and nieces? Another person will do the same to them.

    ReplyDelete
  38. The women here are all riled up because to them it appears the poster and his wife ruined that relationship. I can relate to what the poster is saying. It is practically impossible for him to spill out the full details. He has the advantage of experience on his side and age. The poster is also comfortable so it is not longthroat or greed. I pray for the women who are ripe for marriage but time is against them, they will find their own partners by the grace of God. I would always want my own younger brother to get a young woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ poster... Well done. You have sent someone to come and defend you. So good to see you're reading BVs comments.

      I Thank God for removing Anita from you,your wife and your indecisive friend's centre. If she had people like you around her, there would have been no need for her to have enemies. You and your wife are enemies enough.

      This nonsense wey you do so, no be am. Kontinue sending defenders come. Tshheewww

      As for marrying a young wife; it doesn't guarantee you a happy marriage. You see Ali Baba and his wife? You think she was a spring chicken when they got married?

      Delete
    2. "I would always want my younger brother to get a younger woman" if you know what the younger generations re doing nowadays, you will beg your brother to settle for someone of his age. You think it's by marrying younger woman? Most become wild from the stomach nowadays

      Delete
    3. I am not defending him in any way. We cannot all have the same opinions. Habe you forgotten that the young man too ultimately made his choice. If he was truly convinced by his love for her, he would have stayed with her. I married my own wife when she had no job. My guys around said it was a no no. I sae potential in her cos everytime we talked she dey make sense. We met writing a post graduate course. That poster's friend was not a small child he saw reason to stay away. When I speak of marrying a young woman, I know the young ones these days are wayward. However not all of them are useless. The reasons for going for the younger ones are quite obvious: Medical and physical. But if you are convinced that a woman is the one for you, you will be the one to fight for her despite what people tell you.

      Delete
  39. Ah! The way you girls are panelbeating OP it is well o. You guys don't want him to keep pushing his Chronicles? I find them quite engaging even though it must be said that today's own no follow.
    Abeg make una take am easy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But the honest comments are part of the engagement.

      Delete






  40. Firstly, if you have a kid, tell the person you are seeing early enough before they start falling for you.

    When we are close to certain people and the love we have for them propels us to be protective of their choices and go the extra in case they may be making the wrong choice. So you see I get where u and your wife may be coming from but I can't help but get the feeling you both went overly extra. Your friend in your word had 'no shortage of women' but you say Anita is too 'exposed for him'. You want a not so exposed bride when your friend is clearly an exposed groom. Make it make sense. Curtsy should also have been shown on those two 'disastrous' dates. It just doesn't sit right well with me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Courtesy*...

      Bini, please WHEN is "early enough" seeing that this relationship was just SEVEN MONTHS OLD?

      Do you mean even when someone has not defined your relationship, you blurt out all your personal issues?

      Another question, what's wrong with an unwed lady that had a baby earlier in life before meeting a man that wants to marry her?

      Why is the same judgment not passed on men who sired babies for other ladies before marriage?

      I did not have a baby before marriage but I think Nigerian society is hypocritical.

      Delete
    2. What are you sayingg! When you aint no loose mouth,you have to be a 'lil sure' of someone before downloading everything about you to him/her. Would it have been better if she had told him after marriage? She told him during courtship,still another wahala! You ppl find fault in everything,every gadamn thing!

      You get him and his wife? How!?
      Someone that was franking face the very first time she met with the lady?..they were hateful,period!

      Delete
    3. Anon thanks for the correction
      There is absolutely nothing wrong with a lady with a child. If you meet someone and you start hanging out and you know that is not on a friendship level, you have to tell them! Whether you are Male or female

      Shantelle, I stand by what I said! I am a female and months after a man and I start hanging out u cannot come and tell me you have a kid. I come to your house and you introduce your kid as a sibling?!! Jeez! Yes I understand where him and his wife are coming from. Protecting and looking out for a close friend. Did they overdo it? Yes. A lot of the comments have already shown people see that. Let's not absolve Anita. I can never be with a man who introduces his kid to me as his younger sister .

      Delete
  41. I wonder why everyone is talking as if Anita lost a good man. Agreed, poster and wife were meddlesome but if the guy is God's will for Anita, no one could have stopped the union. God will provide Anita with her own man who would rather do away with the whole world just to be with her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anita

      Thank GOD for you

      Assertive women have no business with weak men

      Delete
  42. Poster, you are an apology,shebi you have caused an innocent woman,that did you no wrong so much pain,prepare for yours for what you sow in life you shall surely reap,you remind me of my ex that aborted his marriage plans with me simply because I was too educated,I wore trousers,I was friendly to everyone, I didn't sleep and breathe in church and be a hypocritical christian,I came from a wrong tribe and the women don't last in marriages. Later got to find out that my ex friends were never happy that he was getting a better offer of a wife than them, jealousy creeped in and they destroyed my rosy relationship,I cried to God in anger and now all of them are confessing, and asking for forgiveness,their so called outwardly godly wives still can't bear children and have been having series of fibroids and fertility issues,their marriages are dangling by the threads,I have moved on happily married and yes fruitful,in life you don't go far by killing another person happiness just for your own myopic,selfish assumptions, pray hard dear poster your karma still dey rub lipstick πŸ’„ for mirror.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Jeweleshi so I go post comment and you no go post am abi.. I dey count am for you oh πŸ™‰πŸ˜’

    ReplyDelete
  44. Wow poster, you and your wife no try at all. My husband and I got married in our late 30s, in fact we're of the same age just months apart, I had a child in my teenage years, we are from different tribe but he insisted I am the one he's going to marry because he deeply love me, even when his parents didn't agree with his choice, he still insisted that it is me or no one else. Today we have two lovely kids and are still waxing stronger in the love. You see that your friend is not really a man that can make his own decisions without being pushed around, he really doesn't deserve Anita.

    ReplyDelete
  45. So the reasons for not liking Anita...

    She is too old
    She is over exposed
    She is not calm
    She has a child
    She is in control ...
    Not compatible
    Limited chances of child bearing

    So lastly, the ideal wife for Mr. P is
    She should be young
    Not exposed or botherline inexperienced
    Not have a child,
    Calm like Mr. P
    Has to be controlled
    Compatible whatever you all mean
    Has 100% chances of child bearing...


    Your wife said Anita is manipulative but you all manipulated him to leave Anita...your friend is a pushover then...that ain't Anita's fault.

    The relationship broke up after 7 months because of y'all interference, it may not have ended naturally, so don't make it seem like it broke up anyways...you all broke the relationship with your digging up of pasts...detectives that are also not saints.

    I pray Anita finds who will make her happy and let's hope Mr.P unexposed wife doesn't become so exposed and ruin him before y'all very eyes too.

    It is not right to get involved in a person's relationship to the extent of making the decisions on their behalf like you and your wife did...

    Marriage ain't everyone's bussiness in any part of the world...people should learn to draw the line.

    ReplyDelete
  46. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  47. After all these comments and bashing, I hope the poster will continue to share his experience with us.

    ReplyDelete
  48. You that they approved your getting married to your wife, did that make you a faithful partner? Anita dodged a bullet, P is a talkative, I can't stand such men.

    ReplyDelete
  49. LoL see dragging. Very well deserved. I've been side eyeing OP for a long time. Undercover misogynist

    ReplyDelete
  50. Love is never enough. Patience, tolerance, compromise, forgiveness, lots of love, prayers, dedication, the list goes on and on is what we have been told and will continue to tell.

    Relationships is like a car in as much as what you need to get the car moving is fuel, there's also need for oils, fluids, general maintenance etc. Fuel self gets expensive and you need to refill regardless.

    I was actually hoping to read how you have handled situations that required more than love. Well, you are the writer and it's your shot.

    And I agree, love is never enough, but sometimes it is all that's needed.

    The struggle to marry right is real mehn. From love, to spec Vs peace of mind, to what and what not.

    Anyhow sha. It is well. I pray and believe I'll marry right. God help us all.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Love is never enough. Patience, tolerance, compromise, forgiveness, lots of love, prayers, dedication, the list goes on and on is what we have been told and will continue to tell.

    Relationships is like a car in as much as what you need to get the car moving is fuel, there's also need for oils, fluids, general maintenance etc. Fuel self gets expensive and you need to refill regardless.

    I was actually hoping to read how you have handled situations that required more than love. Well, you are the writer and it's your shot.

    And I agree, love is never enough, but sometimes it is all that's needed.

    The struggle to marry right is real mehn. From love, to spec Vs peace of mind, to what and what not.

    Anyhow sha. It is well. I pray and believe I'll marry right. God help us all.

    ReplyDelete
  52. To answer your question, I believe it's not entirely wrong to meddle in your loved ones relationship if it's for a just cause. Say the intending partner is cheating or shady or abusive, you should speak up.

    But interfering simply because you don't like the intending partner is WITCHCRAFT. If you love me, I believe the least you can do is respect my choice of partner. So what if he/she is not your "ideal" partner?.

    My friend was dating one guy one time. Now I don't like him, I felt he was too controlling. He's everywhere, like it was choking me BUT she was happy. I had to respect her, I was careful not to plant a seed in her heart with my words. I'll jokingly tell her "this one he's monitoring you, na wetin na" and we'll laugh. Whenever I run into him, I'm all cheerful and greet him. Stay a while and excuse myself.

    See ehn, it's you that know what you want. It'll be be unfair to get you to leave someone you are happy with over petty things.

    So, if meddling is for a good cause, then you can, if not... Just face front.

    This your own, it wasn't in your position to get him to end things with Anita. He should have done it on his own, and that was why he resented you.

    I pray all single moms/dads marry someone who'll love them truly for who they are. Having a child is not the end.

    You too, ciao

    ReplyDelete
  53. To answer your question, I believe it's not entirely wrong to meddle in your loved ones relationship if it's for a just cause. Say the intending partner is cheating or shady or abusive, you should speak up.

    But interfering simply because you don't like the intending partner is WITCHCRAFT. If you love me, I believe the least you can do is respect my choice of partner. So what if he/she is not your "ideal" partner?.

    My friend was dating one guy one time. Now I don't like him, I felt he was too controlling. He's everywhere, like it was choking me BUT she was happy. I had to respect her, I was careful not to plant a seed in her heart with my words. I'll jokingly tell her "this one he's monitoring you, na wetin na" and we'll laugh. Whenever I run into him, I'm all cheerful and greet him. Stay a while and excuse myself.

    See ehn, it's you that know what you want. It'll be be unfair to get you to leave someone you are happy with over petty things.

    So, if meddling is for a good cause, then you can, if not... Just face front.

    This your own, it wasn't in your position to get him to end things with Anita. He should have done it on his own, and that was why he resented you.

    I pray all single moms/dads marry someone who'll love them truly for who they are. Having a child is not the end.

    You too, ciao

    ReplyDelete

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