Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sunday In House Gists - Childbirth Changed It All...

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Sunday, April 18, 2021

Sunday In House Gists - Childbirth Changed It All...

 Hmmmm this may be a sensitive subject for some.....





Are you amongst those who lose their libido after childbirth or among those whose libido increases after childbirth? or did it remain exactly how it was before you birthed your baby?


Was it torn and sewn? Are you suddenly too big and embarrassed? Is your hubby suddenly too small and complaining? How did birthing a baby change how you respond in the other room?


What about the men, what changed after she birthed your babies? Are you complaining that she is too big and making her feel bad like it is her fault? Are you forcing her to do the do when she no longer wants to? Is everything messed up?

Lets gist!

70 comments:

  1. Maturity n fear of God is what makes most men still sleep with their wives after 3 to 4 kids. Men are visual so when it changes, they adapt and add spice somewhere. You don't have to agree with me, denial will not stop it .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can imagine how sexually appealing you men's pot bellied are to us women. Huffing and heaving and all of that yet your wives bear with you.

      Delete
    2. Wanted to argue based on the first 3 lines but when i got to the 4th (3 - 4 kids)i stopped cos i dont have up to that. So i wouldn't wanna argue based on my experience with 2 kids

      Delete
    3. Stella you like this topic ehhhhhnnn

      Delete
    4. I had the worst birthing experience and had to go for CS....Sotey to have another one sef is scaring me.
      I didnt even want to be touched till i was completely healed. All husbands shld be understanding 2wds women after delivery cos it aint easy. Any man dat insults his wifes body or cookies is WICKED.
      Men have dere many short comings too and we manage u like dat...you cant carry pregnancy nor deliver nor breastfeed, least u can do is give ur wife moral support.

      Delete
    5. Darajah God bless you!

      At least women have an excuse for loss of shape. What is your excuse, oh man, for your disgusting potbelly and flabby something, yet we manage you like that.

      Delete
    6. I had cs for both and having sex became more like a chore cus I din't just feel sexy, a whole lot of mental issues mehn.
      It's really not easy ...
      I have gotten my groove back now

      Delete
  2. Everything is still the same for me.

    The only thing that changed is that I'm now busy most times and tired after the day's work (except weekends) which he understands but when we are at it, na kpangba (bliss)!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This ๐Ÿ’›

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    2. My libido have decrease. I no longer desire it but my husband on the other hand want it Everytime which is tiring to me.
      Motherhood and Childbearing is an easy job. I don hang my boots.

      Delete
    3. During pregnancy,hubby was hardly around cos he was out of the country so throughout 9 months i only had sex 3 times.Pre pregnancy sex was terrible,i depended on lubricant cos hubby was big down there and i on the other hand was tight ASF. I had episiotomy after my baby and couldn't have sex for 3 months cos his d*** couldn't go in,we got dildo to make it easier and since then sex has been heavenly ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ jeeeez!!!! My wetness is on 100% and I'm always ready for the "D".I honestly don't think I'm as tight as before cos of the excess water,I'm just glad his dick kinda fits,going in is still a struggle though but when it's in,e don finish. Sorry for using your space

      Delete

  3. After five kids, my husband tells me that I am; more beautiful in and out; fuller breasts, same waist, slightly increased hips and lush dark hair.
    He tells me that I have become more; patient, kind, loving and peaceful.
    I marvel when he says all these but I believe him. What more, because of the Word of God.
    1 Tim. 2:15 But women will be preserved through childbirth—if they continue in faith, love, and sanctity, with moderation.

    Really, I don't make any effort to be the way I am. I just live by God's Word. That Word, "moderation" is something I've learnt through the years. If you indulge the flesh in excess; eating and drinking, you
    become excessive in size and foul character.
    Nothing surpasses the peace that Christ gives.๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️๐Ÿคท‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Delete
    2. Anon 14:15๐Ÿ˜˜

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  4. See how I rushed into this post ehn. Before marriage, I was team no sex, so urges came but were ignored. In the marriage, sex was everyday & several times a day, then I took in and almost nothing for 9 months. Lots of wet dreams during the 9 months and only 1 hot midnight session (initiated by me). Then boom, my baby came and I thought my libido was coming back, I was even feeling hubby up within the 1st week of delivery. But his nonchalant attitude towards the baby and I, coupled with his refusal to help with housechores or baby care made me strongly resent him and my libido went on hiatus. I can't even bear him touching me. Due to tears, I was stitched up tight. Hubby has a tiny member and was urging the Dr to make it narrow (silly man, the Dr followed protocol). I know it's really tight but I have checked out emotionally and mentally. Na physically remain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U marriedna man with a small dick? Chai yeh

      Delete
    2. I cried reading this. This is my story. You know what I got pregnant again after he assured me that this time he will change alas! I believed him I have given birth, the same old story. baby is almost 3Weeks he has never carried the child on his own. I don't even want to do the do any more I think my sexual urge is dead. He now sleeps in the other room because baby cries at night I wish we just remain this way.

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    3. Anon 17:23, the 2nd pregnancy was to tie you down to him, as he knows it will be difficult for you to leave with 2 kids, no matter how he messes up.
      Mine would require me to stand (with 3rd degree tears stitches) while carrying the baby, as he SAT and told me about his day, which was always long-winded, hard for him and necessary to explain in the tiniest details.
      He'd come in, head straight to his study and stay there till we sought him out.
      He had tried to precondition me by whining that the baby would take all the love and attention he was enjoying. I had to keep reassuring him but barely 1 month postpartum, I clocked out and left him at 6 months. Such a self-centered, manipulative narcissist. He never called, text or tried to see his child. I thank God as it is making the divorce proceedings easier.

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    4. I think every man who plans to marry or is married should read this. So much of a woman's desire for sex with her partner is tied up to how things are outside of the bedroom.

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    5. Thank God men are reading
      Help your wives o, listen to them.
      It's really not easy

      Delete
  5. Ha Jeweluchi you read my mind.
    Eka Joy I guess you re inspired this, oya give us the full gist๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰.
    For me, libido is back to pre pregnancy.
    I was given an episiotomy during delivery, however, the doctor took her time to repair back to factory setting๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹. Down there is tighter than ever, na struggle everytime.
    However, iucd is messing me up mehn, I'm in some sort of discomfort like 7-10 days a month, it's so annoying and stressful, I've told the doctor I want to have it removed but he keeps assuring me my body will get used to it.
    As for the man in the yesterday's comment session who said his wife had CS because she didn't have enough sex while pregnant, that is a big fat lie!!! We had sex only about 3-4 times my whole preggy days because hubby was too scared he will hurt the baby and that didn't stop me from having a vagina delivery so QUIT blaming you wife for having CS. It most likely was as a result of some other indication.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please, how is IUD messing you up? Because the one my doctor did to me is making me uncomfortable, I always feel something inside me which i hate. I don't know how long am going to bear it because i hate anything that will irritates or makes me uncomfortable.

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    2. Chilove I had that feeling too for the first few weeks, at a point I could even feel the strings attached to the end of the device with my fingers but it went in after a few steamy sessions. The only problem I have with it till now is painful contractions (like mini labour pain) that starts around the time my period is starting and continues on and off for like 10 days straight. It gets really bad enough to warrant my using pain reliever on some days. It's been like 7-8 months since I had it installed.
      Will observe for another 2-3 months and make my final decision.

      Delete
  6. I still wear same clothes with my teen daughters.
    But I don't eat in the mornings, I only drink water. Makes me more productive and focused.
    Libido is intact.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope u are not depressed?
      How can u be talking of wearing same clothes as ur teen daughters wen we are talking abt been tight or loose down there?

      Pls seek a therapist oo

      Delete
  7. I am tighter post partum. It amazes my partner and side boo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It amazes me too, that in this age that people are God-seeking,
      you are partnering and side-booing? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎHorrible

      Delete
    2. Partner and side boo
      Abeg how una dey do am?

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    3. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ sideboo ke. Women be wilding these days

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    4. Bad bad gal ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

      Delete
  8. Just the way all guys will gloat about have big Di..ks, same way most women will keep gloating about tight Veejay. Make we dey deceive ourselves dey go na.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kikikikikikiki
      If you know you know
      It's called self consolation ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

      Delete
    2. I think for women with over endowed spouses the stretch of delivery would be beneficial for them. Back in the day doctors used to routinely do a little inner stitch to counter the stretch of delivery, but they don't nowadays because of change in times and thoughts, they suggest kegel exercises now. A few women above have posted of their doctors doing that inner stitch so they could very well be tighter depending on how deep the doctor did it.

      Delete
  9. I gave birth via cs so I can't comment on the too tight too loose part. But I'll say our sex life has improved post partum. Before we had LO I probably didn't value it as much as I do now since now it has to be done around LO's schedule and I am busier now

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sent my labour room drama. Was compiling my omugwo experience but that had to be paused. No tear, no stitch but the place just became very tight and dry. Tried a couple of times 8-12 weeks postpartum but it was like I was a virgin again. My husband's birthday came up in January and since we have been fuckstrated, I planned with MIL since she's with us, took my husband out for a lovely dinner and checked into a hotel from there. Safe to say we no sleep, can't even remember how many times we did, we went back home with wild smiles but weeks later, I don carry belle with a 5 month old baby. I go they send my omugwo and new baby stories. The thing just get as e be, I'm still on maternity leave as we have 1 year here and I'm just thinking, how would I resume from maternity leave with 6 months pregnancy. My mum has killed me with judgement �� abeg I know kill person, na my husband I gbensh and carry belle for but that 27 seconds man dey dangerous sha. He no even fit smile at you, fiam belle don enter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha. Wish you safe delivery ๐Ÿ˜.

      Delete
    2. The company go tire for you naso so leave them go dey give you

      Delete
  11. My libido went from 30- 90% in pregnancy.
    I was always horny. Even though I was experienced fatigue a lot but not when it comes to gbenshing. My hubby was worried at a time for the baby because he felt we might be disturbing him too much.
    Post pregnancy dropped to like 50%. We still do like every day now, mostly at night except on weekends once he’s at home. I enjoy sex now better than pre-pregnancy. Hubby says I’m still as tight as I was before childbirth, because if I’m not wet enough, he won’t be able to get in.

    Overall I actually enjoy sex a lot. Even when I’m stressed out I realized it helps me relax well and feel refreshed next day even if I didn’t get to have much sleep especially after a good orgasm.

    Everyday I thank God I waited till marriage before having sex if not only God knows what my body count for be..

    ReplyDelete
  12. My libido is still high after 2kids and it's always WAP ๐Ÿ˜Š. Anytime the children are sleeping, we try to do the do.
    To the man who said his wife had CS cos of no s@x please ask your doctor what caused it because it's not her fault.

    I had my first child years ago via V@ginaDelivery and had my second via Emergency CS in January and it wasn't due to not having enough s@x, though I didn't have it much but the CS was due to high blood pressure and my baby's heartbeat was fluctuating and was later dropping and I was still 2-3 weeks away from my due date.
    CS can take an emotional toll on someone, especially for someone who wasn't prepared for it. Please sir don't make your wife feel guilty and what she needs now is your support and patience because you can't imagine the pain she is going through.

    P.S- V@gina delivery and CS is Normal delivery. Na born person born

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe that is what the doctor/quack told them in other for them to consent for surgery.
      Even the poster did not think of teenagers with unwanted pregnancies, how many of them get to have sex again while pregnant, yet they have vaginal delivery.

      Delete
    2. Exactly what I said up there, maybe they used a quack or the doctor was joking when he said that and they took it personal.

      Delete
  13. Everyone one will now be tighter after VB coz they were stitched up tight, Lori iro, it's only the space between d anus n vagina that tore that is stitched, not the insides, your men won't tell u the truth so as not to tamper with your self esteem, to penetrate will be a struggle cos she is a bit sewn up but once u enter, it becomes a loose pool as the romps goes on, I always praise my wife on how tight she is n she glows whenever I say it but deep inside me, it's a different ball game. Hey, I wont tell her otherwise anyday sha, babe u tight will always be my motto.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous 15:16. Vagina is repaired in layers from inside to skin. Have u ever repaired episiotomy? An expert does it right

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    2. Hahaha loose pool. Chai see how you dey disrespect a female private part. We don see wehnn for una eyes sha

      Delete
  14. After my first child I felt nothing, me that loves sex like kilode, I knew something was not right. I had to put in more work, I had to work on my emotions and all that, with time every thing went back to normal.
    I had C's throughout all my pregnancies so down there is still the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When It comes to women, sex and emotions and how our partner treat us work hand in hand. If we’re dealing with too much emotionallly, forget it. Sex will become a chore and one won’t be in the mood at all. Husbands love your wives ooo. There’s a reason why it’s In the Bible.

      Delete
  15. Tightness or looseness doesn't make a sweet pussy, a pussy can be loose but very sweet....a sweet pussy is a sweet pussy weda after no kid or 10kids, it also depends on the chemistry btw you two. Some sweet pussy na follow come while some if u like use all the whole kayamata in this world e no go sweet! Lol

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    Replies
    1. Please I'd like to know when you say a pussy is sweet. Is it when it slippery or the ability to twist and turn? Biko enlighten me. T for thanks

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    2. Yes I agree on the chemistry aspect especially for women. For both men and women actually. The emotional bond with your husband makes sex a whole lot better. 10x better! Not talking about ashewo men/women who bangs for money. There’s motive behind that one๐Ÿ™„

      Delete
  16. let me shut up like Mummy Burna Boy said ,cos I never born before .
    Let me read comments and learn.

    ReplyDelete
  17. libido is intact.
    I had to change my wardrobe too.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I envy all of you. Had my baby since December. 4th degree tear. Stitched four times but it breaks down. Had to leave it like that till my baby becomes 6 months in order to go for anal and vg reconstruction.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry dear,The Lord is your strength

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    2. Oh so sorry dear. It is well with you.

      Delete
  19. Everything definitely changed. Not for the better. 10 months after our first child, I'd like to think that things would improve but nada. The sex, when she bothers, is unexciting. The weight just makes it more difficult. I won't say she's loose or tight as I am well versed in handling any dimensions of pussy so I work with what's before me.
    I think I'm having less sex than a monk now. I have complained, talked and tired. I help around the house too. For peace to reign I don stop to talk about the matter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So sorry. With time it will get better

      Delete
    2. DA, please let me help you. Your wife may be having PTSD and PPD. Its 18 months for me and I still have it. Let her be checked out by a psychologist.
      On your part, you must be patient and treat her like a trauma patient.
      When you get home, take the baby and cuddle with both of them. Talk out loud and say 'Baby, you are lucky to have such a cute mum)', 'Thanks hon for carrying and birthing our jewel', 'Can I get a kiss sexy', 'Hey you amazing baby, don't steal my wife from me', 'Darling, why don't you go take a nap? I'll watch the baby for a couple of hours. Just give me the bottles and diapers'
      Sometimes, just stare at her and smile. If she asks why, just say you are amazed at how she's raising the baby and still managing the homefront. Knowing you are checking her out covertly, she'll start putting in more effort and feeling appreciative of you too.
      Yes! It will require a lot of acting on your part as I sense there's some resentment btw you both already. However, you'll reap such huge benefits when it works out. Lay off impregnating her for now, having a baby psychologically changes some of us and we need to recover.

      Delete
    3. Anon 19:14 you said the truth and nothing but the truth. May the good lord bless you ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’•. I went through the same thing after giving birth. Postpartum depression took a toll on me coupled with dealing with a mean spirited mother inlaw. Thank God I didn’t not end up in a hospital and doing much better.
      DogAlmighty please listen to this anon. You can start small so it doesn’t come off fake or forced. You have to be genuine about it. Our emotions and how you men treat us is tied to sex. See a marriage counselor if you need to work through some issues in the marriage. Wishing you the best!

      Delete
    4. Anon 19:14, a lot of Nigerian men are not wired this way (not all) They only know how to frustrate your life and make things complicated. Bunch of baby men and fragile male ego! Again not all. The naija men I’ve met have that similar traits. Hardly affectionate. Why??? Parents, we need to raise our sons better mann and not just focus on the female child.

      Delete
  20. I used to be 53kg when I got married. Fast forward to now after 3kids, I am now 75kg, though endowed with good back, front and nice waistline. Hubby still shade me about my weight, and won't save his sermons once he sees my mouth moving. I am even still breastfeeding exclusively o!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pwetie,u dont to use breast feeding as a excuse. Its not food that makes BM flow. Work on ur weight for you.

      Delete
    2. My dear Pweetie, if you're hungry please eat. ignore whatever anyone is saying. you need good sustenance to be able to take good care of yourself, baby, and home. I repeat, ignore anyone trolling you with weight. You will still loose weight when you are done breastfeeding, by then hunger pangs will be less and you can also start on a completely healthy eating journey which will help you loose weight. It wont happen overnight but when the results start coming, na from people mouth you go hear am. They will never believe you aren't taking slimming pills and co. I am speaking from experience please. No go kill yourself to please anyone

      Delete
  21. Nawa oo.Thars all I can say

    ReplyDelete
  22. Stella, please can we talk about how sometimes after the experience of our 1st childbirth and rearing the child, women might not want another child but husbands, extended family and society try to pressure you into having more kids?
    It's not like you resent your child oh, you just realised the whole pregnancy, childbirth, nursing and raising the child mostly alone (as dad is away) has made you realise that you won't go down this road again. No medical issue conceiving, just a psychological disinterest in repeating the process.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam! Stella please let’s have a dialogue on this

      Delete
  23. STELLA,
    my sister had a set of twins in America .
    it was a tough delivery ,and i am sure if she had those kids in Nigeria,she would have died.
    she had 4 surgeries in less than 5 days.

    when she came back,her husband wont let her lift a pin.
    He was too sweet.
    my sister married right .

    ReplyDelete

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