Hmmm....
NARRATIVE ONE
JAZZED
How can l get over him. I love him so much. His actions show he doesn't love me as much as l do. I am mostly the one initiating calls and chats. He always has excuses for everything. Never gives.
NARRATIVE TWO
I got married recently to a single mother of one. recently, I overheard her laughing and making jokes with her ex. She co-parents, drops the child off with the Dad and picks up every Sunday evening.
How can l get over him. I love him so much. His actions show he doesn't love me as much as l do. I am mostly the one initiating calls and chats. He always has excuses for everything. Never gives.
I am tired of dating myself but my emotions are strongly attached to him. He is Kogi and l am igbo. I will tell him off, block him now and l will be all over his social media the next moment trying to get his attention.
People around me feel I'm jazzed. I really need suggestions on how to move on.
*You need to love yourself, if you love yourself you wont let anyone love you less... It is not Jazz, it is lack of self love, lack of self confidence and lack of self respect.
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*You need to love yourself, if you love yourself you wont let anyone love you less... It is not Jazz, it is lack of self love, lack of self confidence and lack of self respect.
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NARRATIVE TWO
SAD SUSPICIONS
I got married recently to a single mother of one. recently, I overheard her laughing and making jokes with her ex. She co-parents, drops the child off with the Dad and picks up every Sunday evening.
I wasn’t in when she left, thought I’m not yet back, why the jokes and laughing, Pretended to be asleep when she walked into the room, and she quickly cut the call. That one called back but she didn’t pick, and he kept calling, still didn’t pick.
It was a very awkward silence all night between us. She is back with her ex quite alright, but why make me waste my time, money and resources. I’m so sad right now
*What if your suspicions are wrong? They both co parent a child....errrrrm i think you should have a talk with her on why she is laughing intimately on the phone with her ex late in the night....
*What if your suspicions are wrong? They both co parent a child....errrrrm i think you should have a talk with her on why she is laughing intimately on the phone with her ex late in the night....
Be strong and move on
ReplyDeleteWhy pretend to be,asleep if she knows she is clean....well.
Poster 1 i also dated a kogi guy who fits your description.
DeleteJust like you loved him too much. He never gives too. I was the 1 doing most of the giving. Well he eventually left me after begging me not to leave him. Ir was hard but i found someone so good you can tell he loves me.
Please is the man's name emmanuel?
Please tell me ooo so i can give you gist.
Lol
If a guy starts giving you negative vibes and isn't willing to work on himself,it's better to let him go for your sanity and self worth. Trust me, a better guy who's serious about you would come along
DeleteTrust your instuct guy, it never fails. The same advice given to a woman who is entangled with a baby daddy is d same advice u shud heed concerning a baby mama, its same thing o, if the mama or papa is still single n in good terms, omo, you are sharing. Simple.
ReplyDeleteBlackberry, it’s not always true.
DeleteCo-parents can be in very good terms and live in the same house for the sake of the children after a divorce yet not sleep with each other because the sexual attraction part of the relationship is no longer in existence. Trust me on this.
Anon 15: 19
DeleteYou Dey wine yourself
Yvonne O, only comment on what you’re sure of. Silence is golden.
DeleteMy response to Blackberry is based on facts. This is the arrangement my ex-husband and I have.
I have this same arrangement with the father of my kids. Alot of people wouldn't believe it's possible, but it happens. It just so the kids could grow up in a sane environment.
DeleteI think this situation is quite questionable. Why didn't she want to continue talking when she noticed her husband was around? Even if the intentions may have been nothing bad, she has made it look suspicious.
DeleteSister, nobody jazzed you. You just got no love for yourself. Na your type man dey use play football coz ya a hopeless lover.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwww
ReplyDeletePoster 1, pray about it honestly you will forget him gradually, I had same issue with my 1st love, a guy that I will buy flight ticket to and afro with my change to go and see instead I will be begging for his attention
2nd poster, awwwwwww pele
Guess she is trying to form co-parenting in harmony, talk to her
Poster 2; it's quite unfortunate and I feel you. Your suspicions are very valid. You know, men love the unavailable. That is the attraction her ex has towards her and I am sure he would never have this kind of relationship with her if she was single. Unfortunately she still has a weakness for him which she knows is wrong. That is why her guilt is that loud when she realised you heard her.
DeleteWhat to do...Be a man about it. Confront her like a man in charge and ask direct no-joke questions. Look her in the eyes and dont accept any shenanigans or brush-aside attitude. If you see guilt, remorse and weakness, forgive her and decide with her how to handle it. If she is not sorry and raises her voice, guy, call it quits and move on. Don't look back.
Poster 1: Learn to take responsibility for your actions. Nobody jazzed you. Stop going through the lazy route of blaming people other than yourself. You just dont have self respect simple!
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Assumption is the greatest killer of happiness. What happened to speaking with her. You are acting like you did her a favour by marrying her. Please remove such thought. Sit down and discuss with her on creating healthy boundaries. All the best.
How is he acting like he did her a favour . Did we read the same chronicle??
DeletePoster 2 seems like a gd man , most men will react immediately.
If she still loves her ex and the poster paid for wedding etc is that not waste of resources??
Plus the heartbreak !!!
Poster 2, pls ask her and if your instinct is still tugging. Just hire a PI.
Better safe than sorry
I disagree with you Aunty Stella. Love makes you do stupid things not because of lack of self respect or self love like you said. By poster it is going to be hard especially if you felt like that person was your "soulmate" " last bus stop" "the one" etc, but just try and get over him. Most of these middle belt guys always go back and marry their own or closer to their own. Speaking from experience. When it happened to me, I commented on this platform and some people sent supporting replies.(I posted under a comment) . You can do it just give yourself time .
ReplyDeleteYea stupid things when you lack self respect for yourself and low self esteem!!! That’s just what it is. Stop your nonsense talk please
DeletePoster 1: He's not just that into you. He has shown you his side, what's left is what you do about it. Move on, being single has never killed anyone, don't be desperate and settle for less.
ReplyDeleteThe "jazz" is the flesh, the lust, and probably the (premarital) sex that you gave him.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to discipline your flesh; give your life to Jesus and study his word.
Learn to fast. Fruit fast will do. You will definitely overcome those thoughts of him.
Must everything be about sex,i have been so in love with a guy and was heartbroken when it all came crashing down....no sex whatsoever becos he wasnt even in the country.
DeleteIt is possible to be so hung'up on a man and no sex ever happened pls.
@17:10
DeletePlease search the dictionary for the meaning of the word "probably"
Poster 1.
ReplyDeleteYou just need to tell yourself you can truly do without that man. If you don't speak to him or check h up you won't die. Nothing will happen, you will only feel sour for some time and finally get over him.
Be determined. I know some people can be so invested in a relationship to the extent they loose themselves, you just have to move forward and believe you need to be treated better & this man can't be the one.
Poster2 .
This is a serious isssh. unfortunately you have invested so much and you need to find a settling ground.
You both need to talk. Tell her your concerns. It is possible she isn't having any intimate relationship with her ex, probably they are just cool and the reason she ended the call is cos she feels it might make you feel bad.
After you both talk and you still find reason to doubt her then I suggest you snoop and set trap to confirm your doubt then you can call off the deceitful marriage...
Move on my sister before it becomes too late, poster 2 have a heart to heart talk with her.
ReplyDeletePoster 1.
ReplyDeleteNne please move on you are dating yourself,by yourself and to yourself..
Poster 2
She's your wife talk to her or you Snoop..
Poster 2 trust your instincts and run with it. This is blog dominated by women, you are not likely to get the best advice here. Refusing to pick the calls is more than enough to become very conscious and make effort to know the truth. If she is sleeping with the guy move on with your life. Regardless of the emotions and resources you have invested
ReplyDeletePoster one you have an anxious attachment style please read about it. No one jazzed you. You just have low self worth and esteem and you dont believe you deserve true love. deep down you think you are not good enough for any man to want so you pursue emotionally unavailble men. I know because i used to be like you until i started to work on myself and love myself. Start therapy if you can afford it, learn a new skill, lose weight and start pampering yourself more. Once you fall in love with yourself you wont be able to accept any less. Once you stop reaching out to him he will start coming after you but you will find yourself unable to even relate with him. Im here for you if you want to talk more. I will suggest you buy the book attached to understand whys you have an anxious attachment style and how to work on yourself
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot anon. Not poster but have gained from your comment.
DeletePoster 1 , he is noy just into you! Block him everywhere and keep it moving!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 2, Snoop. The answers are all right there!
You really have to be emotionally mature to marry a single mom especially one whose baby daddy is very much around. That's why I don't listen to 'boys' when they come professing love. I love my daughter very much and for her sake, a part of me still loves her father.
ReplyDeleteMy man understands this.
If you're marrying a single mom, get ready to share her affection, or leave her with her 'baggage'.
Castle wait ooo. It's ok to still love her father but lemme ask oo. Will you still love him after marrying your man? If he comes back after you marry this amazing man like you have always said, will you leave him to go be with your baby daddy?
DeleteI'm sorry I just want to know.
It's either you love your present man ND keep the relationship with ur baby daddy at a cordial level or you date your baby daddy ND leave the other guy.
DeleteIf your present guy understands that you still love your ex who you guys have parted ways due to one reason or another and still throws the other face,that's a red signal.
You don't sit on the fence with people's emotions
Can you bear such if the same cards were thrown at your table?
Lucent I love him because he's the father of my child. I really can't explain it but I can't hate him. We can NEVER be together and I'll never leave my man for him. Sex is completely out of question between us in this life and the next.
DeleteI'm not sure you'd understand, so let's leave it at that.
Tenth, you will be fine eh.
Castle I understand what u are saying , the love isn’t the type for relationship but because u love your child that’s y
DeleteCastle, what I understand is that you are cordial with your daughters dad but you don't go mushy mushy with him like this poster described.
DeleteYeah right, Anon 20:48 ❤️
DeleteLMAOOOO @Tenth you will be fine eh. Me sef tire for the grammar...🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteFor poster 2. Talk to her, clear your doubts.
ReplyDeleteShe sef no try.
The first poster, you have all the chances in this world to leave now, or cry forever.
ReplyDeleteSecond, Picking up and dropping should not be done in private, Okafor’s law may happen. Marrying someone with baggage can be stressful, kpele.
poster 2 if you are so insecure why marry her. should she be cussing the man
ReplyDeleteBullshit! if the roles were reversed how would she feel about? Bro, her baby daddy has imprinted her! It's best you start exploring other options because she's still very much in a relationship with him. Your suspicions are very valid!
DeleteBullshit! If the roles were reversed she wouldn't like. It's obvious she's still in a relationship with him. Bro, it's best that you start exploring other options because you're just a placeholder to her!
DeletePoster 1,Stella has said it all!
ReplyDeletePoster 2, they could be laughing about something the child did or said that was funny. In your situation I do not think it is as serious as you are making it out to be. But you must be mature enough to handle the fact that they will have a connection through that child and he will show up for milestones like graduations, wedding..etc. You have to do your own self reflection to see why you are feeling like you do. You may feel like you rescued her and in such she should worship you and put you on a pedestal. Or you offered her marriage when the ex left her on single mother status. Only you know why you feel the way you do. Please fix your inner self so it does not ruin what you are building together.
Poster 2, it’s healthy for them not to keep malice nd be friends because of the child, doesn’t mean anything , in U.K. here it happens, I dated a single dad nd he had a friendly relationship with the mother of his kids, she had boyfriend sef but they laugh on phone even when i am with him nd I no vex cos I understand , call her nd talk about it
ReplyDeletePoster 1 you ate desperate and lack self esteeme, you should pay less attention to your bf and pay more attention to yourself. Build your self esteeme and focus on important things that your bf.
ReplyDeleteYou are paying too much attention to him, look for distractions around you it will help you alot to move.
Poster 2 why don't you give your wife some times to confirm what you said if she is back with her ex or not. Laughing with an ex to me means nothing especially when both coparent but my fear is her attitude when she noticed you.
If you give her some more time and you are not sure please have a talk with her to be sure she is not cheating with her ex. She will be a fool to go back to her ex who didn't marry her.
Poster 2,it could be out of respect for you that she didn't want to pick the call,I didn't marry my ex cos of religion,and it was a very painful parting,after marriage,he wanted us to keep in touch,I used to have migraine and he used to get me a drug from USA,so I told him to help me get it and drop it at my hubby's office,when hubby got home,I could see from his countenance he wasn't happy my ex got the drug for me,out of respect for him,I had to cut ties with my ex and I started by not picking his calls when hubby was there,so I'd suggest you speak to her before jumping into conclusions,wish you all the best
ReplyDeletePoster 2 Assumptions are dangerous. Dont assume, talk and get a a clear picture.
ReplyDeleteMoreover i feel you are overacting. Co parenting is better for both parties if they are cordial. Please deal with this early, trust and talk about this. He is always going to be in the picture