Stella Dimoko Mrs Dees Corner - Childbirth And Motherhood Shockers...


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Friday, May 14, 2021

Mrs Dees Corner - Childbirth And Motherhood Shockers...

Expectant mothers are almost always taken by surprise and left overwhelmed when they discover that they were not filled in on the so many details about motherhood.....


 Learning on the job can be such a Herculean task.

When my babies' due date drew near, I was excited and couldn't wait to welcome them, but alas!!! I was hit with my first surprise when I had to starve for almost 10 hours before surgery because the doctor said it was a necessary requirement to avoid complications.

During the wait, I was shaved by a nurse even though I had done it myself before coming and woke up to the sight of so much blood and the cries of my babies.

After the surgery, I was so thirsty that my tongue clung to the roof of my mouth but the doctor said I couldn't have water till I had my first fart.

The unbearable pain after the surgery was out of this world, but I was not allowed to lie still, I was forced to move around after surgery and stand upright while walking. Oh! how I almost passed out from the pain.

My breast milk did not flow immediately after child birth and my babies had to take milk and that was how my exclusive breastfeeding plan flew out the window. I later found out there was no way it would have been possible. 

The immediate bonding between mother and child(ren) did not happen with the kids and I and It took several months before I felt connected to them.

Each day still comes with something new to learn and improve upon in being an intentional parent to my kids and I still wonder how I survived those tough days.

*Childbirth and Motherhood? Nothing will ever shock me more!


  1. Nawa o, I can imagine the pain you passed through. Thank God you are fine now and your babies too.

    1. My own,I ve been depressed since I had my daughter on the 14th of February...she came out looking so dry and thin with a long neck weighing 2.4kg(underweight)...took her to the hospital,was told severe wasting...been feeding her 2hourly so she could gain weight...she started gaining weight quite alright only for me to discover her wrikling on her legs and reducing..mind u,she was wrinkled when her I gave birth to her due to d underweight issue but it didn't affect her laps down to her feet...I'm drained Stella..I don't know what else to do*crying*

    2. She looked so dry and old like an old man...but she looks okay now...just d wrinkling skin that is my problem cos the doctors told me that the ones she was born with will fill up when she starts gaining weight..they have really improved thou...I'm just worried about the new ones coming on her laps down to her legs...her body is not just smooth and strong at all...thou she is holding her neck

    3. I'm confused and drained Stella...I haven't experienced that joy that comes with having a baby..every day crying for me..her head is very small even the face too

    4. It's well Pretty. Keep feeding her and praying for her. The bonding will kick in soonest. You are doing great dearπŸ€—πŸ€—

    5. Madam Pretty, Jehovah is your strength and refuge. My daughter came at 1.7kg

      She looked like an old woman as described by you. On top of that, she didn't like being fed.

      Please follow your Doctor's guidance. Things improved for us when we started feeding her baby formula for premature babies. But Please discuss this with your Doctor.

      My daughter is 3years now. Still won't eat solid food because we didn't start her on that early.

      To the glory of God, she is far better now. Underweight, yes. But I thank God for life.

      Your Baby is well. Your baby will grow and flesh out. Wipe your tears.

      I know someone who had a similar experience. The boy is 6 years old and big today.

      God will give you joy.

      Just decide to bond with your baby. That's what I did. Today, my daughter and I are playmates.

      I am a man but we play together like children.

  2. Don’t know if I should anticipate or dread this monumental stage. It’s really not all what it’s cut out to be, God bless all moms out there.

    1. @SnarKer, don't dread it. Anticipate with joy.

    2. I prayed day and 9t for over 12yrs for a child, wen I came, ahaaaaa. That's it am DONE!
      Nobody will tell u, e dey pain ooooooooooooo

    3. I had my two children through a c-section and I tell you, I wasn't prepared at all!

      The two pregnancies were different but cool. Some days were ok, while some days were something else!

      My babies were very big and I almost had Ptsd during my first.

      The pain was out of this world! I thought I was going to die. It was as if a trailer had hit me!

      During my first, I asked my mil if I was gonna die because the pain was so much!

      During my second, before I was wheeled out, the anaesthesia had waned off, I couldn't recognise my hubby cos of pain.

      My neck was on fire and the first 48 hours were hell!

      I had malaria and my wound site wasn't healing properly because of the way it was sewn.

      I thank God that they are both healthy and alive.

      I also thank God that I'm alive as well.
      Thank you, Jesus, thank you, Lord.

  3. See ehn.. Nothing really prepares you for these two(childbirth and Motherhood)..
    Everyday.. Something new!
    When you’re not half-assing being a mom, it really is a full-time career on its own.
    Parenthood is such a hard job that no one really admits it's exhausting because it's rewarding.
    When I had my second during the 'pandora', never did I imagine how stressful it was going to be..
    'especially with my mum not being able to travel.
    I remember crying whilst speaking with my mum on the phone, I was like "mummy biko, try anα»₯ malu ma onwee α»₯zọ ọzọ α»‹ ga esi bα»‹a),.. Even though I knew there was no way. with the lockdown?, how?.. Still I asked like a little lost girl..
    *sighs*I think about it now and I chuckle..
    However, we did/do what we had/have to do, everyday.. Some days it's all good and dandy with the kids,some days I want to disappear to an island and leave them with their dad for a week(I mean it) but since I can't yet, I improvise by having a girls day out..(leave them with dh) or he takes them with him and they just stay out for most of the day(mostly on Saturdays or sundays) and I have the house to myself.
    Very therapeutic for me(before ala agba mmadα»₯)
    I bless God for my husband, ah!, This Man!, continously giving. ensuring. Nurturing. Listening and most importantly DOING!
    P:s.. Hi moms, it's okay to love your kids and still want or take a break.. Ask for help.. Get a nanny!.. You ain't no robot.
    I love my boys(unconditionally) and will give anything for them,however, in order to give them the best of me, it's important to be in the best state.
    Another P:S.. My folks are coming for summer.. This emojis describes me πŸ’ƒπŸ˜.. Am I dancing and grinning too hard?!..
    You fcuk'n bet I am!

    1. Chai, Onyinye nwam, this your story touched me. May God bless our mothers Biko. Dh, you are a real man. Nne m, jisike. Grin and dance all you want, you've earned it.

    2. Loollll, abeg come and translate the igbo for us biko nu.
      Motherhood is a lifetime journey. We learn everysingle day.
      And the uncertainty that comes with it is the beauty of life.

    3. @undiluted truth.. Daalα»₯ rinne, nwanne..
      @dainty..LOL, "mummy biko,try anα»₯ malu ma onwee α»₯zọ ọzọ α»‹ ga esi bα»‹a" means please try to find another way in which you can travel/come.
      "before ala agba mmadα»₯" means 'before person go run mad'.

    4. Infact it is the best way, to be alone sometimes to recover and keep your sanity, the job no bi here.

  4. Child birth is a confirmed shocker. Infact it is still shocking at my age. That period when you have to wait for breast milk to come is another painful experience.

    The other day, my boy of almost 5, said I should stay near the toilet with while does his no 2. I said no I will wait in the room. The next he said is "mummy you don't use to love very well o. Daddy love me very well and can do anything for me" on top poop? Abeg free me o.

    1. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€funny boy.
      My son will finish up and scream mummmmmmmmmmmy come and clean my bombom.

    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    3. hahahahah Oh God, that blackmail is what offs my head.

    4. πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

    5. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      You will think as tiny and cute as they are, their poop won't smell but it stinks to high heavensπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    6. Gifty...kiddies with busy mouth?
      The smell of their fart tells you what the poop aroma will be.
      Don't even stress it.

  5. Most of the these things come as shocker because we were not adequately prepared for all of them.
    We still treat pregnancy and child birth as a hush hush affair in this part of the world.
    We are running and hiding pregnancy from everyone we could learn a lesson or 2 from. Our mothers (the only ones we usually confide in) do not have answers to a lot of these situations, seeing as a lot was different in their own time.
    I'm grateful for the gift of Internet and YouTube, I learnt so much watching videos during my pregnancy, so I didn't have lots of shockers. I was sort of prepared for the possibility of those things happening and adequately equipped myself for eventualities.
    And of course, we learn daily on the job.

    1. @Dainty T, very well said!

    2. Thanks Dainty T. The internet really helped me during pregnancy. Even after the birth of my child.

    3. Prior to videos and surfing for info via the Internet, I was coached for years about motherhood,some of my elder sisters are gynaecologist/obstetricians, been talking child psychology, grooming, conception and the inherent challenges before I entered uni sef. Too many charts, films, books, advice. My nieces and nephews I used to practicalize many things as I watched and learnt.

      My 1st salary was as a teenager for babysitting for one of my sisters, I learnt alot as the days went by.
      Coupled with the fact that I had heart challenges, I was fully monitored and guided anytime I conceived.

      Omugwo was always my mum,sisters and their friends, then when over here, mummy in law and her oldest daughter then some domestic hands come join us at once. The dreaded sleepless nights had experienced hands covering for me while I slept. I did little than breastfeed and none got exclusive breastfeeding. They suckled on bottles from day 3.

      It was easy for me because DH put his spirit,soul and body in the expenses and processes, my employers too made funds available to an extent.
      Then again, I was permitted to close at 3pm whenever I resumed from maternity leave for months that followed.

      Many thought I couldn't carry a child and birth safely but my siblings and some friends knew I am strong to exploit.

      What I made sure I didn't miss is the "getting my body" back after, I followed traditional therapies point to point and I'm almost good again.

      Let's say it's the sweet side of being the last of 6 ladies.
      Chukwu ma ka osi dilim!

  6. Stella labour pain is one pain I can't tell how I survived. It felt like I was going to die. What about the process of baby coming out, it looked like my whole body was dividing into 2 but everything ended as soon as the baby came out. Kudos to mother's. E no easy at all

    1. Exactly my experience. I don't know where I got the strength not to scream when I was contracting. Even when my baby was coming,I was just whispering' I want to pop,I want to poo' lol,the nurses were amazed. They kept asking me if this really was my first pregnancy. I didn't shout or scream .I walked the length and breadth of the hospital while saying my rosary and breathing in and out while having labour was so quick before I know it my baby had come out.
      What I'm battling now is loss of sleep and by daughter can suck for africa chai!.

    2. Wow Raquel you have put to bed? Congrats

    3. Yes Gifty,4 days ago.thank you��

    4. If you don't scream in your first pregnancy,subsequent ones will be like that.
      Kudos,I always scream my heart out

    5. Raquel congrats on your new baby.

      Bv Euphemia... congrats on your new baby too.
      Saw it late.
      God protect the babies.

      Whoever brought that "don't shout idealogy". Aarrgghh.
      Don't try that with someone that has heart related issues.
      Na calamity e go end.

  7. It took days to bond with my son even though the surgery was less painful than this madam's own and the bond was established within 12hrs(despite the excruciating pain). I started exclusive when i got home for both of them (breastmilk started flowing & they lost interest in formula. It was easy for me)

    1. Ah, lucky you.
      Breastfeeding showed me shege. I struggled throughout the 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding, I had to intermittently add formula on some days when things where not just looking up. My nipple pain lasted longer than expected, or was it the fact that I had to take breaks at interval to pump milk in my car (sometimes in a car park, and even once parked on a major road inside ijebu ode). In all, I am just grateful for the privilege of experiencing motherhood.

    2. Wow,exclusive breastfeeding for twins,you did well oπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ

    3. Just as @Lora has described above. It differs for every woman.

  8. People, fenugreek helps with breastmilk production. Have it in your bag to the hospital immediate you can eat, add it to everything, you tea, your peppersoup and food. It comes in 3 forms, the powder, the seed and the leaf.just add a little because it has an overpowering taste and as a bonus, it helps in shedding the baby weight.

    1. What is fenugreek and where can one get it

    2. Thanks. Will look for breast milk didn't flow husband gave me coconut water before my milk came out on the second day.

  9. That's why I feel bad for women who had to do it on their own without a solid partner by their side whether via deliberate babymamaism, loss of husband, uncaring husband, long distance husband etc.

    The stress you have to go through, abeg you need a solid partner by your side.

  10. Child birth is a confirmed shocker,nobody told me epistomy will be this painful,i could walk well for days and was constipating at the same time😭😭😭😭😭oh jezz! See ehn,dont think i will wish anyone that kind of pain in this life. Women are super strong abeg.

  11. The stress of motherhood is something. Managing twin girls and a toddler. My boys energy is something else at times I wish the school will just keep him for the whole day. And my girls when they are in the mood for crying God, they will so furstrate you. I wish their father is supporting . God has been helping us. I just take one step at a time.I so need resst. Like to really relax. Lord you know I am not complaining sha. E no sha easy

    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      They have all the strength in the world, like they don't get tired!

      As for that crying eh, it's the most annoying and frustrating thing ever! They cry for every and no reason at all. Na wa o

  12. The stress of motherhood is something. Managing twin girls and a toddler. My boys energy is something else at times I wish the school will just keep him for the whole day. And my girls when they are in the mood for crying God, they will so furstrate you. I wish their father is supporting . God has been helping us. I just take one step at a time.I so need resst. Like to really relax. Lord you know I am not complaining sha. E no sha easy

  13. As I was coming from the market, with my boy on his carrier... His weight and all,the bag of groceries just fell and everything spilled. I felt useless, like leaving everything there cos I was so tired. And he was crying! Thank God for the kind passersby who helped me pick them... And kept reassuring me that it's almost always like that. Sighs
    Reading all these comments is just comforting. It's not just difficult for only me

    1. πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”
      This brought tears to my eyes. May God continue to strengthen you dear. Be strong.

  14. Poster you just surmised my experience and more. I had my baby through a surgery too and since i have never had a surgery before in my life,the pain of the C's was outta this world.
    To add to it,my breast milk didn't start flowing immediately as my nipples weren't out and i saw HELL when my baby started sucking.
    Ontop omugwo,my mom just spent 2weeks with me as she is as teacher and the first one week was spent at the hospital with me.i cried and cried on the day she left..she cried too. I was just clueless and felt so helpless even though i was staying with my mother in law,it didn't help cos she showed me her true colors while i was still at the hospital. I was going through excruciating pains and all they(she and my father in law)were after was if i had started breastfeeding and i should start thinking of being discharged,while i still had my feet swollen and my BP to come down.i was so depressed post natal and now i ihink of it,i realise that God held me up. All i promise myself is that God willing i will have my second baby in my own house and good a thing my mom is now a little bit free from teaching,so i am going to enjoy it to the fullest. I have alot to say on this but i THANK God in all things.

  15. I had an easy one, no shocker because like I said up, I learnt a lot from the internet and so knew and was prepared for what lay ahead. The only thing I missed was having my partner by my side, for support.
    Welldone, Mrs Dee.

  16. The thought of passing through pregnancy and labor pains again is giving me goosebumps, I'm so afraid of that thing and I doubt if I'm ready physically or mentally for it.

    It took me 4 days before my breasts started flowing very well, on the 3rd day, I used breast pump and it almost led to malaria for me because they became very swollen and too painful. Motherhood is a serious work I must say

    *Larry was here*

  17. I had my baby few weeks ago via CS and was couldn't lift my left leg. I was told I reacted to the anesthesia given to me. I have been having physiotherapy sessions to help with walking. I will send in my LRD soon as I could walk normally again. My eyes saw wheeen

  18. Motherhood....hmmmmm I'm still learning o

  19. Sometimes,I wonder how our mothers did it,like my mum had NINE and I'm here almost struggling with how many? The Lord is our strength mamas


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