My family house was/is more or less an orchard because we had/have fruits almost everywhere, ranging from oranges to cashew to guava to tangerines to tangalo to sugarcane, to mention but a few. So during one of my holidays in my first year in secondary school, my mum directed me to pluck cashew and guava, took me to the market place on a market day, got me a little space and encouraged me to sell.
Wow! I was mad!
How could this woman have "humiliated" me in this manner?
I just finished washing my "jalopy" (. I call it a "jalopy" because it has seen many "moons¹" a little bit shy of 17 "moons," but still old and reliable!)
"Car washing" is a hobby (that) I have cultivated and nurtured for over 35 years now. Thanks to the "New Normal" which has really compelled me to restructure my routine. I now spend more time at home and take good care of myself, even more. I jog and watch what I eat and drink. I now make out time for washing my jalopy almost every evening because I now get home before 6.00pm every day as a matter of principle because I must go to bed by 8.00pm, let the heavens fall!
In any event, this is not the meat of my instant anecdote.
My domestic staff took some days off to enable her to pay last respect to her brother who was involved in a ghastly bike accident recently. May the good Lord rest his beautiful soul.
Yesterday, Mech ran out of onions and she needed someone to help her get some as she was cooking and I had just returned home from a long trip. The roads are now in a more deplorable condition. I almost regretted making that trip in my old and reliable "jalopy", but I had to do it in honor of a good friend. Long and short, Mech was forced to send a 12-year-old out of the house unaccompanied, for the first time! The destination was about seven (7) houses away from ours but we both suddenly realized that we had never sent this dude out of that house alone in his entire life!
In any event, this is not the meat of my instant anecdote.
My domestic staff took some days off to enable her to pay last respect to her brother who was involved in a ghastly bike accident recently. May the good Lord rest his beautiful soul.
Yesterday, Mech ran out of onions and she needed someone to help her get some as she was cooking and I had just returned home from a long trip. The roads are now in a more deplorable condition. I almost regretted making that trip in my old and reliable "jalopy", but I had to do it in honor of a good friend. Long and short, Mech was forced to send a 12-year-old out of the house unaccompanied, for the first time! The destination was about seven (7) houses away from ours but we both suddenly realized that we had never sent this dude out of that house alone in his entire life!
Mech sought my opinion first before graduating to seeking my consent. Deep down in my heart, I wished I could withhold my much desired consent, but the "man" in me hardened my heart and I granted my consent without looking at either of them in the face. He stepped out gracefully, without entertaining any fear of feeling extraordinary. He was not even excited about it. At a point, I was tempted to sneak into my room and monitor his movement from the window but I resisted the urge. Few moments after, he resurfaced with pieces of onions! Was I excited? Yes, I was. He was now a "man!"
As I was washing my "jalopy", my mind raced back to my pre-teen years.
As I was washing my "jalopy", my mind raced back to my pre-teen years.
As a 12-year-old, I had smoked cigarette more than once.
As a 12-year-old, I had skipped classes.
As a 12-year-old, I had lived outside the home all by myself for more than one (1) year.
As a 12-year-old, I had met over 1000 fellow youngsters from different backgrounds, creeds and religion. Yet, I was of the view that this particular lad must be overprotected, because we now live in an "evil world." Like seriously? A boy who had lived away from me for over a year? I can still remember how friends and family reacted when I broke the news of sending him to a boarding school to them.
Most of them almost issued an order of arrest against me.
Let me digress a bit. My family house was/is more or less an orchard because we had/have fruits almost everywhere, ranging from oranges to cashew to guava to tangerines to tangalo to sugarcane, to mention but a few. So during one of my holidays in my first year in secondary school, my mum directed me to pluck cashew and guava, took me to the market place on a market day, got me a little space and encouraged me to sell.
Let me digress a bit. My family house was/is more or less an orchard because we had/have fruits almost everywhere, ranging from oranges to cashew to guava to tangerines to tangalo to sugarcane, to mention but a few. So during one of my holidays in my first year in secondary school, my mum directed me to pluck cashew and guava, took me to the market place on a market day, got me a little space and encouraged me to sell.
Wow!
I was mad!
How could this woman have "humiliated" me in this manner? In any event, I sold, albeit, grudgingly. By the time she came to pick me, she could tell that I had had a bad day "at work." I did not have issues with selling eggs and chicken after all, everyone knew that my parents were poultry farmers, but I found selling fruits "demeaning." Fast forward, 14 years after, the first paid job I bagged was that of a "sales representative!" I sold cement for close to two (2) years. It was easy for me because I had sold fruits, eggs, chicken, drinks, sweets, rice, kerosene, bread, beans, food, etc. Yes, my mum sold almost everything!
The experience came handy.
What do we find today? A generation of parents who were brought up "the hard way" but hold the view that they must make "life easy" for their offsprings. "Ndi my children must not pass through the hard times I passed through."
What do we find today? A generation of parents who were brought up "the hard way" but hold the view that they must make "life easy" for their offsprings. "Ndi my children must not pass through the hard times I passed through."
I have seen hardworking fellows who farmed everyday of their childhood days just to eke out a living and finance their education and God answered their prayers, they are now big, yet their children have no inkling of what the leaves of yam and tubers of cassava look like! Sad! I dare submit that our generation is NOT being fair to our children. Most of us were raised the "hard way."
We toiled day and night. We studied hard, just to lead a better life and most of us got lucky and are by far better than some of our parents, yet we are raising children who are not equipped for the challenges of the ever changing and tougher world, all in the name of "making life easier for them!" Like seriously, few years down the line, I'm afraid, some of our children will not be able to cope in this "evil world," little wonders some of them get hooked on illicit substances just to fill the void. The West is "there" already and that is why they have all sort of oddities which have now become the norm. Just visualize some of them. I don't have to remind you.
No thanks to the internet and cable television, we are just inches away from the rot we see and hear of everyday. In no distant future, the practitioners of those oddities may find their way to power and legalize/legitimize most of today's oddities and then "the new normal" would be redefined. In some climes today, same sex marriage for instance has become "normal' and legal and the critics have been tagged "bigots." Yes!
We are just inches away from that state, mark my words. We now live in a world where humans have been placed in a state of perpetual fear. Fear has now assumed the role of a determinant of the existence of man. Fear determines places humans can visit. Fear determines the type of cloths human can wear, songs human may listen to, times you can move around, foods humans can eat. Man now lives in perpetual fear! If I may ask, is that the purpose of the existence of man? To live in fear?
As a matter of principle, I have chosen to be intentional about everything I do. I haven't chosen to lead a carefree or reckless life, mind you, but l have chosen to consciously de-emphasize the place fear in my life.
¹ Year in the local parlance.
As a matter of principle, I have chosen to be intentional about everything I do. I haven't chosen to lead a carefree or reckless life, mind you, but l have chosen to consciously de-emphasize the place fear in my life.
¹ Year in the local parlance.
Stay Safe..
Its Kunle
Your section on this blog is very refreshing.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you.
By way of contribution, I reflected sometime ago that if my dad passes on, none of us can take up his business, the printing business, we have all charted our course in life.
Maybe if he had trained us during our holidays, we could have picked interest? Not sure.
You can still learn if you want to preserve his business. Learning is a process in life,it never ends.
DeleteLovelace
The hard brought up Egg generation who life cooked to be hard bringing up potatoes generation that life cooked to be soft. Despite the evils of the world, parents should prepare the children to face it squarely, the hood is not smiling and these children got to survive with or without their parents.
DeleteI share your sentiments in a way but I'm also of the school of thought that my children will not pass through what I passed through.
ReplyDeleteWow! Very intriguing.
ReplyDeleteFear... we live by faith not by fear. If you follow the new normal, you won't even breathe freely.
Thumbs up Kunle. Keep it coming.
Nice piece. There are things that can't be helped. With new inventions in technology, our children will definitely have it easier than us. In our time, we pounded foodstuff using mortar and pestle,squeezed bitterleaf and washed clothes with our bare hands. But mortar and pestle are almost extinct, I can't purchase it now for my children to use because I want to prove a point.
ReplyDeleteI also hawked all sorts all over the streets of Aba and till now I am still amazed how nothing bad happened to me, but I never pray for my children to experience such even though it taught me resilience and toughness.
As for the farming, my kids take out the seeds from the fruits they eat and plant as they see in kiddies tv and I encourage them.
I also intentionally let go of fear and whisper a prayer when the kids want to do certain things.
That hawking own now is a no. Very dangerous now. With kidnapping, rape and other vices in the air? No. TS you really tried.
DeleteEgbon Kunle well-done. Those days life was less chaotic. I just wish we can preserve our heritage for those who will cone after us. I miss the good old days..
ReplyDeleteLovelace
Nice one
ReplyDeleteSo apt! We'll keep trying our best with God on our side.
ReplyDeleteChai all the long epistle I wrote all gone. Nice write up Mr kunle
ReplyDeleteIn the estate where I live I send my daughter on errands. She can buy anything I want without errors. One day my car was bad and I couldn't drop her at school. I told myself at her age I trekked long distances to school and nothing happened. Even if things are different now if I don't allow her how will she Learn.
ReplyDeleteI called her took her to the junction and put her in a tricycle. I told her where to drop. If she wants to cross the road she should walk up to LASTMA people and tell them she wants to cross they would help her.
I was scared but I had to woman up. Lo and behold in the evening who came back my daughter. I know people would say the world has gone bunkers and what have you but when will we allow them enjoy their childhood. You drive them to school, drive them to church, take them to jamb centers, escort them to university and all their lives they are sheltered. I enjoyed my childhood, made mistakes, corrected myself and I've grown to the woman I am. My daughter is 10 and she can hold her own. Sincerely I am proud of her.
Dr Freak my late father was one of those who had nothing from birth considering his mom passed about 4months after his birth.
ReplyDeleteAll his father knew was farm work and my father joined, after primary school his father said schooling was over but my father went ahead to find his own path.
He struggled btw farming schooling, fell ill while harvesting yam tubers, save his maternal aunt he would have died cos his father and step mom weren't supportive. He sent himself to secondary, University and finally ended at masters degree.
While growing up my dad took us to farm, he farmed a lot to the point my mom complained cos she wasn't used to so much farm work.. My elder sis once got lost in the village farm cos she was so curious but thank God she was found, that was the last time my dad went to village farm, he hired farm in the town.
As we grew, sometime in ss2 dad stopped taking us to farm(mehn I hate farm work, I feel like it's not good for me as a lady..lol)
So I agree this parents who try to over protect their kids are not doing them a favour, but then too much of everything is very bad.
This story reminds me of my dad, he was so strong, the strongest man I know... Next month will be a year he passed, continue to rest papa.
Nice piece.
ReplyDeleteThe world is changing and different generations would change with it.
As a kid, whenever my parents are out, we would roam the whole streets of lagos innocently, not causing any trouble and not getting into any trouble. We would buy okin biscuits with our pocket money and be munching away while trekking. When the sun sets, we find our way home to roost. 😀
But that can't happen in the evil world we live in today.
Okin biscuit... brings back memories 🙂
Delete"Is that the purpose of the existence of man? To live in fear? As a matter of principle, I have chosen to be intentional about everything I do. I haven't chosen to lead a carefree or reckless life, mind you, but l have chosen to consciously de-emphasize the place fear in my life."
ReplyDeleteThank you for this refreshing piece sir. God bless you.
Memories
ReplyDeleteInteresting read. I remember the first time my nephew went out alone to run an errand for us, just few blocks away, we were shaking. Before he left, the advise we gave him made him speechless. If anyone calls you, please don't go, just walk straight. He was 11 then. I can still remember the joy I felt right inside of me, when I heard the gate made noise. We all live in fear now, fear of being taken to an unknown destination.
ReplyDeleteI also think evil has been unnecessarily magnified now due to instant news platforms and updates. For every one bad occurrence, there are several good but bad news is what sells.
ReplyDeleteIt is even underreported sef.
DeleteSouth West has the best access to the media unlike other parts of the country.
If they have the same access, you'll be shocked at the evil going on in Nigeria.
I agree with 19.45 views.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kunle
This write up is part of the reason that elderlyy men will keep on ruling naija besides the previous generation always think they are better than the new generation
ReplyDelete