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Monday, July 19, 2021

Dr Freaks Journal - Parenting

Permit me to start this treatise by stating that as a parent of young adults, if your children have never had cause to discreetly refer to you as "that old man/woman" or a "witch/wizard", then, parenting has changed!








Little wonders we have badly raised children everywhere nowadays.


Arguably, I was raised by a combination of the most loving and strictest parents in the universe. To the whole wide word, Dad was the "tough one"; Mum was the "soft one", but you know what, unknown to many, the reverse was the case. Dad was just a principled one with a very soft heart. He was the one who would cry (yes, cry) whenever any of the children "strayed" away for some moments. Mum was the "Man of the House" who would try to calm Dad's nerves down until the erring (missing) one strayed back home.


Further, unknown to many, my home was one of the most liberal in the world. We were allowed to consume beer (alcohol), but on one condition, drink it at home. I have got four (4) brothers and several cousins who grew up with us in the house and they all drank beer at home time or the other. Thank God for Jesus in their lives today!


This may shock some, but it is true. I tasted beer for the first time when I was in Primary 4. By the time I got to Primary 6, I could "down" two (2) bottles of either "Top Lager" or "Skul Lager", (if you lived in my time, you will reconnect) a story for another day.


Dad, though never engaged in alcohol consumption but he had no objection to consuming same at home where he could watch the demeanour of the "consumer". He was a good judge of character!


Dad frowned at partying, especially the ones that were held at night. He had no objection to afternoon parties as he would even volunteer to drop you off and pick you up at the end of the event if and when he was in a good mood.


There was this night party that took place at "A Hall" around 1987 when I was in JSS3! My brothers (two of them) and my two (2) cousins who were at the time secondary school leavers, HSC student and undergraduate were actively involved in the event planning and after much pleas and persuasion from the then little me, my big brothers and cousins had agreed to take me along. The five (5) of us needed a car (to show off, I guess and) to convey us to the venue and there was no way we were going to have Baba Agric's consent to drive any of his cars out, so we did the needful by pushing the car out of the compound stealthily.


We crossed the first hurdle and nearly got caught at the final stage when the gate decided to make an unusual notice which almost woke everybody in the neighbourhood up.


Bravo! 


We were at the venue now and there was enough food, drink and good sight and sound for all. My needs were limited at the time. All I needed was food and drink and maybe steal some dance with those big Aunties who were gracious enough to have indulged me for few minutes. Good music serenaded the air, ranging from the likes of Madonna's "Last Night I dreamt of San Pedro", Sade Adu's "Sweetest Taboo", Curtis Blow's raps, to mention but a few. "Omo, I rock before most of my mates sha oh." A good time we had of it. The party climaxed at abour 3.30am when an elderly person hijacked the microphone from the MC or DJ, I can't really remember which now and behold it was Baba Agric and he didn't waste time.


 It was announcement time and it went thus: "please I am looking for my sons and I know that they are here." The roll call took him less than two (2) minutes and pronto, we had all gathered. We wished and prayed that the earth could just open and swallow us because we had just "landed ourselves in original trouble!" You don't want to imagine.


Guess what, it was Christmas Eve and we had just finished making good money for Baba Agric from Christmas sales (poultry) and he was still happy with us. The night went like every other. He did not chastise any of us, he just took his car key and asked us to trek home. He dished out instructions that he must not get home before any of us. You don't want to imagine how we all ran down home. He woke up the following morning and refused to talk about the incident till the day he gave up the ghost, like two (2) years after.


Growing up was tough! 

We thought Dad hated us so much because he was forever on our cases to the extent that when he passed on to glory, it was more of mixed feelings. Painful that he was gone, but we were almost tempted to rejoice that our troubler was no more (ignoramuses like us hun?), but guess what, today we know better and we appreciate them (Dad and Mum) both for the discipline instilled in us and for the care and love showered on us. Hopefully, someday our own children too might be seeing us in a similar light. May we not fail God. May we not fail our children. May we not fail our generation.


To my children:


Someday, you may have the privilege of reading this piece and just in case, should you decide to go the way of your Dad and big Uncles, rest assured that I would come after you "like flies after sh.t" as only this would guarantee your turning out well, just like your big Uncles.

Its me

Kunle

25 comments:

  1. Thank You Mr Kunle for this enlightening piece.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My dear I was weak when I heard my teenage children call me a witch amongst themselves cos I seized their phones for a week. I kuku did like I didn’t hear jare. I remember calling my mom the same when she grounded me. Na so life be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is sad. How can your kids call you a witch

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    2. To train children kno be moo moi atall

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    3. HahHa. Sorry oh
      I can only imagine how hurt you would have felt.

      Pele.

      Delete
    4. HahHa. Sorry oh
      I can only imagine how hurt you would have felt.

      Pele.

      Delete
    5. When I was growing up, I didn't really like my mum but now I look back and appreciate all that she did. Please continue with the discipline when necessary, they will understand better when the time comes.

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    6. Awww...I can relate! God is your strength. Don't worry, they will appreciate you when the time comes

      Delete
  3. My mom wasn't around cos of transfer so it was momsie and the gang. My mom is the calm type but she no gree nonsense. If u were playing with neighbors, u must be in the vicinity. She mustn't call u more than twice before she hears your reply. All of us get cane o.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Growing up and parenting is on a parallel line.

    As a parent, you are wiser and more experienced.you don't want your kids getting into trouble or danger.

    As a child, you want to taste life by your wisdom not minding consequences..

    I was not wild back then more trained to be conservative.. My father was action man. Mr no nonsense.
    But I can bodly say that I turned out well because all the discipline and legoin of Mary attendance did me well.

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  5. It's Kunle again😁😁😁. My parents I no know which one wicked pass. LolπŸ€”


    Lovelace

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  6. Growing up we use to pray for Dad to die too,he was a disciplinarian and Mom was gentle and calm.Now I know better I thank God for the training,I am always noticed with how I conduct myself.

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  7. Nice one. I enjoyed reading.

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  8. Nice piece Kunle....more ink to your penπŸ–Š

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  9. On 2 occassions I ran to my grandparents' house. Kai my mother stressed us well well but she is now our bestie, na so life be

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  10. Lovely piece, took me back to my childhood.

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  11. Hmm!!!
    Buoda Kunle, i can relate with dat i must not get home b4 u...
    My much is a gentle woman to d core but a disciplinarian of the highest order
    Our dad was nt always around n we all girls, five girls o
    For d neighborhood like dis we r gd gilrs ooo, to the d extent my uncle wanted to bring his son to stay with us cos he don spoil.
    We girls take style no gree sha
    To the extent my mum's colleague n famly dey wan keep children with her.
    God bless u my lovely mum, a retired hemisess(headmistress), funny name we call her.
    Love ur write up, bruh!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hmm!!!
    Buoda Kunle, i can relate with dat i must not get home b4 u...
    My much is a gentle woman to d core but a disciplinarian of the highest order
    Our dad was nt always around n we all girls, five girls o
    For d neighborhood like dis we r gd gilrs ooo, to the d extent my uncle wanted to bring his son to stay with us cos he don spoil.
    We girls take style no gree sha
    To the extent my mum's colleague n famly dey wan keep children with her.
    God bless u my lovely mum, a retired hemisess(headmistress), funny name we call her.
    Love ur write up, bruh!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks for this.
    Anybody that passed through my dad's training deserves accolades.
    He was strict but not that extreme.
    He did his own with love.
    He knew how to handle boys then(my brothers).
    His training really shaped us to good.
    When we were young, nothing like idleness in the house,as in you can't just stay and be doing nothing.
    No matter how your muscle big reach ,dem no born you well to enter house and misbehave.
    Rules and regulations were much cos Dad dey do like ' Oyibo ' people small.
    The only rule we didn't like then was that you can't go out without proper excuse.
    Las las it was all for good.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Good write up, a bit judgy but the couple of paragraphs at the end brought more understanding that issa love letter to your kids. Jus that ur column is So notoriously heavily moderated i hope the blog staff will actually post

    ReplyDelete
  15. Nice write up once again. Do Keep them coming.

    ReplyDelete

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