Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THIRD WIFE BROUHAHA
I need advice on some issues.
I need advice on some issues.
I am a third wife and we live in a family compound.
I have serious issues with the first wife and the way she and her children age (8,6 & 2) behave entitled to my husband's money, food and all.
It is on another level and she feels she has been here before anyone so whoever that comes should submit under her.
There was a time my husband was sick , she came visiting while he was on drip, immediately she came in she started eating his bread, took the drink that was there and some fruits. They made sure there was nothing left before leaving. Her children's own is on another level and whenever they enter my house, it is straight to the kitchen to see what I have, what I am cooking and they must make sure they eat from it.
For example if you give them food, and say you want to eat something else you must give to them. i don't have a problem of sharing or giving, I derive joy In that but this one is too much.
Last week I was like ok lemme test these kids to know how they think. Me and my husband came back tired and hungry. He ate the remaining rice while I ate noodles, when they came they were so happy saying let's sit down Aunty will give us indomie, in my mind I was like una Never see anything.
I ate all the noodles and when my husband saw that I was not ready to look their way, he told them to go take the bottom rice he left and I said nobody is taking anything. These kids became so angry saying they won't greet me again and since that day till today they stopped greeting me.
We don't have kids yet.
The last childs own is that if you are eating bread, he will come and take all, then just turn and start eating biscuits he will throw away the bread and take the biscuits again. If he comes to my house and did not see bread where it used to be he will start rolling on the floor, crying and shouting until his sisters will open the fridge and pick whatever they see and give him before he will stop.
The thing is just paining me because over 2years of me being married this woman has not for half a day given me anything to eat, at least i take food to them on a weekly basis.
My husband is so wired to the family cause it was the brother that sent him to school. in fact he can get something for the house and give all to them and won't even mind me. Or is it when we buy bread, fruits and anything we keep the next day its all gone and, I have told him that anything I buy and want to eat ,he should not give anybody.
With the properties they have they should be doing far far better than us. i don't know if i am overacting and I don't know how to address these issues.
*You are a third wife? A Third wife?
You sound petty.
Why include the kids in your testing game? I am sure the first wife is doing all these deliberately.
Why didnt you ask to live somewhere else? why go into another woman's home and want to have things your way? why even move in at all? why cant you afford to be nice to the kids? Yours will come, how do you want them to be treated?
Please change your ways .
I dont even know what else to tell you!
These are one of the things you signed up for as a third wife. You get mind nne.
ReplyDeleteShe is the third wife to be married to the family...please understand her story.......
Deleteshe stays in the family compound with her husband senior brother family....please understand her story..
DeleteI do not think she is a third wife. She is a third wife in her context means she is the youngest wife of three brothers. As I continued to read I noticed she said the first wife husband sent her own husband to school which means they are not married to the same husband.
DeleteI will be ruthless with you, as a third wife what do you expect. I almost did not finish your story cos after the first paragraph I was irked badly. Madam, you are quite petty and for a third wife that you are, I am sure you knew he had two other wives as well as kids and should have had an open mind knowing you were entering a large family. I even noticed the man seems to always be with you, hence the use of "my husband" point of correction you should learn to say "our husband" Please, learn to be more accommodating and patient cos that's is what u signed up for.
DeleteBvs, she means she's married to the third male-born of the family... I was confused too, till I got to the last paragraph.
DeleteTiana calm down and read again to understand 😄. Her husband is a junior bro to the first wife’s husband. She should have labeled it differently for easier comprehension. In my view, she is not petty. She just needs to draw a line now before her kids come so some unnecessary actions won’t be carried upon them by the firstborn’s kids. If your hubby has the means for accommodation, you guys can consider moving out because it’s already a toxic environment for you. Those kids are so arrogant and full of sheet(nobody should tell me they are kids). I will put them in their place. I really don’t care what role was played upon the hubby. It is just too much. And you need to curtail their habit of walking into your kitchen or opening your fridge because the day they will eat something elsewhere and come eat at yours and fall sick, you will be accused of witchcraft. Please try and start putting a stop to all of these. Good luck 🍀
DeleteNo one should inconvenience you.
DeleteYou were there when his brother was paying his fees.
Their mother lacks principles and ended raising entitled kids, you need to set those boundaries.
Keep your doors locked
Keep taking food over, it doesn't matter if she doesn't do same but just set your rules and have them follow it
I just fell in love with Stella this afternoon after reading her apology to the extent that it made me shade tears 😭. I forgive you stella for actions and inactions for your comments and everything that you may have done to hurt me and others😭 I promise not to retaliate in any shape form or guise again. One love 💕
Delete@TWE: "Those kids are so arrogant and full of sheet (nobody should tell me they are kids)." This statement is everything. Children CAN be taught to be considerate and kind. In fact, seeing a badly behaved child is sign of a potentially horrible adult. I will not apologize for this because it is true. We make excuses for them then they grow up into ungrateful, unkind, selfish twats. No no no.
DeleteThanks Gentle Sog, I had to go read again to understand she's married to the family and not the woman's hubby.
DeleteSorry poster for misunderstanding you in my comment 👇👇.
Please, tell their mother you don't like the way her children behaves.
You are a wife, she's a wife so why all these nonsense when you are not married to same man.
That woman and her husband failed woefully as parents. Gush!
Baby T be calming down😂. 3rd wife like the 3rd woman married to one of the sons in the family
Delete@ TWE, you are a good mother. You can tell those who spoil their children and those who are smart enough to know where to draw the line. For goodness sakes kids develop their personality at the age of 5 and those two longer throats elderly ones have gone past that age and the last one who is 2 will follow their footsteps if care is not taken. The children character is a product of the mother mannerlessness. Asides from being a wife material being a mother material is important abeg! so many people are spoiling their kids. You see Mannerless small small children and you wonder what the parent must be like. You need to see how some kids come to class with their own food yet they keep begging for their fellow classmates' food despite having their own. One boy's food in class does not look sumptuous or well garnished like these other children's food but he has contentment and does not even look at the other children's food even when they offer him he rejects it. I admire his parent for doing a good job. Yet they will leave their food and be begging for his food. Even as a teacher try to eat biscuit in class they will bring their hand to beg that particular boy will just sit and be minding his business.
DeleteIf the mother do not act fast those children will grow up and their friends will complain of their entitlement ways or someone will come here and write chronicle of such bad behaviour not knowing that the behaviour has been there since the person was a baby and it was not corrected so it lingered till adulthood.
All the bad manners you see some adult exhibit have been there since childhood but some of these parent let it develop fullblown.
I think she meant to say she got married to the third son of the family. If na 3rd wife you be. I would do you worse.
DeleteI need to correct something please🖐🏾
DeleteMadam third wife you should address una husband as “our husband”
Anon 21: 48, upon all the explanation by bvs , you still don't get it. Now I get that most of you don't read. You just go straight to the comment box to drop your comments.
DeleteNne, don't use because you have not given birth to sideline this issue.
DeletePut them in their place, and let them know, you can't tolerate such attitudes especially, "entitlement" from them.
If there is something about me in my husband home, even when l didn't give birth. I try as much as to place everyone in their in their level, by correcting any abnormalities.
Like this;l lived with two of my husband's nephew, and they wanted to behave like they own the house.
I device a means in handling them diplomatically. They all left because of their character.
I don't tolerate rubbish at all, and to see him rolling on the floor over your refusal to give him something is absurd.
Your hubby should try and correct them, but you know that type of man couldn't. He loves his family more than you, and wouldn't jeopardize their relationship.
Try and set your boundaries with strict adherence.
I almost thought you were third wife to one man. And not third wife to be married into a family.you are not wrong in putting boundaries on how others eat your food or open your kitchen. It's not right. The first woman should bring her kids up in the right way and teach them contentment.
DeleteEvil third wife,see how she's calling him 'my husband'instead of 'our husband',they will do more and it will keep paining you,he should not give them what you bought as per you're the sole provider of the family,onye oshi di
ReplyDeleteU is wicked👹👹👹👹👹👹
DeleteI think what she means by third wife is that, she is the third co-wife abi how do I explain it?
DeleteLike there are brothers living in a compound and shes married to one of them, cos the end of the story implied that
Lol@Pinky,is not that serious,okay anon 15:41 I get her now,sorry poster it's not easy living in a family house,and you're aware your husband's elder brother sent him to school,they probably want to eat all the fees he paid for your hubby,but they're quite young to think that way,those kids are still babies,you can manage them,it's just food and they're happy to eat from you.
DeleteBv Nedi be calming down ooo abeg😌
Delete😆🤣😂 This narration got me cracked up especially the noodles part.
ReplyDeleteNawa o!
FFO😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteSame here oooo 😂😂😂😂
DeleteAs in! I find it very hilarious!
DeleteYou are looking for pity party goers here; right? I am not one.
ReplyDeleteYou submitted yourself to be a concubine to a man that was already married and you want his wife, the one you call "first wife" to
give way for you, the "queen?"
Are you serious?
You have to face the reality and stop being cruel to those kids. If you love
them, they will also call you "mommy"
Jesus is there to save you if you will allow him.
She's not a concubine, it's a family compound. She's the third to be married into the family
DeleteI think she means "Third wife" in the family..
ReplyDeleteLike she and her husband are the third to get married in that family,so there is a first and second "senior" wife before she came..
Because She talked about property in the last paragraph;cant be referring to her husbands own in same context..
@MARTINS
Oh! Scratch my first paragraph then.
DeleteExcept that......even with that, she can't have all to herself except they move out of that Fuji House of wahala
DeleteIji ya. She also mentioned her husband's brother sent him to school.
DeleteThis one na one chance.
If na me, m fuchie ịrụ sharp sharp. My face alone go make you give me space.
Which kind wahala be this one?
exactly,
DeleteExactly, she means 3rd wife in the family. The woman is her husband's elder brother's wife.
DeletePoster, your composition betrayed you, not everyone will understand what you wrote up there. I hope you clarify things in the comment section.
She no go enjoy that Marriage oooo...I swear,,cuz na family house
DeleteThanks Martins, I already blasted her before reading your comments, I was already thinking how a bloody third wife should have these guts.
DeleteCalling the man "our husband" would have made it easy to understand.
ReplyDelete👁️😂😂😂😂
DeleteDear poster, all I can say to you is it's well.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should do as Stella said.
I dont envy you, those are are perks of polygamy, enjoy and endure.
ReplyDeleteAs u are vexing like this, would be angry if he gives her doggy too?
Endure, u hear.
U don't get the gist
DeleteNot a polygamous house but a family house
Ooh... very incomprehensible Chronicle then.
DeleteNa food carry you go there?? Suffer head 3rd wife🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteU be real aproko...😂😂🤣🤣
DeleteLMAO 😂
DeleteEmpty heads makes unnecessary noise. Read carefully and understand. Why is comprehension that difficult for some of you. You guys rush to the comment section to critise and condemn without making effort to understand the chronicle.
DeleteSee this foolish Alexgoatza calling people empty heads,did she narrate the story clearly for people to understand? instead of correcting and making people understand,you're insulting,Stella too didn't get the gist,does that make her an empty head?yes your head is loaded,but filled with mucus.
Delete16:20, leave the fool to be insulting himself! Maybe he is in the same situation in real life as the husbandman.. Dragging food with children 😂😂 efulefu
DeleteLOL, ain’t you something. You claim the first wife and her kids feel entitled but all I see here is “MY husband” not OUR husband. 🙃
ReplyDeleteThese are just kids and that’s how kids are. Can’t believe you wrote a chronicle complaining about a toddler being a toddler.
I’m getting secondhand embarrassment from this post. SMH
Poster, you didnt post your husbands body language. Cos , see, your issue is two way. Your husbands body language and your badly behaved co wife. Dont mix the 2 together. Be wise as a serpent and keep saving. If your husband for instance buys rice and doesn't bring any home to you, you guys should eat what he bought. Garri or drink water. Shikena. Only complain when he is not making investments . Cos honestly, I would forever show appreciation to a sibling that saw me through school.
DeleteOn the inlaws aspect,Those kids are badly raised and badly behaved, and you can see who raised them. Kindly lock your door. If they come knocking, make sure you lock your kitchen and fridge and serve them only what you want.make sure you serve them something. If they get angry, so be it.
Dont mix your 2 issues. They are mutually exclusive.
Anon Dee, thank you! those spoilt children aren't just kids and that is not how well-brought up kids behave. Those kids are spoilt and I do not blame them even their mother lack self-respect and does not understand boundaries so what training will she inculcate in her children when she the mother needs training herself at her old age.
DeleteThey are just kids, they are just kids? okay now...but hey already know how to keep malice and hold grudges on top other people's things. They are so entitled already and that is how entitlement mentality starts that they feel whatever they sight is theirs to take. We would be wondering why so called adults are so entitled and envious ontop other people's properties forgetting that their parents indulged them all in the excuse of kids will be kids.
Poster you have a right to feel the way you do. You and your husband should be fast and move out. I love properly behaved kids but I can't stand spoilt ill mannered children with phd in longer throats.
The rate at which parents raise kids this days is becoming worrisome. Y'all need to see how kids behave now in the name of ajebutter kids. They say it's the 21st century way of raising children. When I talk,they say it's cos I'm not a parent yet.
DeleteWhy are you complaining?
ReplyDeleteYou are the 3rd wife and you are still complaining...Aunty, it's better you leave the children out of this mess you trying to put ursef into..Love them like never before and expect yours soon..
The problem I think you have is,you want to have your husband to yourself alone forgetting the fact that, you came last into the CIVILIAN BARRACK
Stella from wat i understood i think the first wife she's referring to is her husband's elder brother's wife,she saying 3rd wife i think means she d wife to d 3rd brother and dey all live in thesame compound
ReplyDeleteYes now
DeleteBut she can't cope..I just need to be sincere
Martin is spot on, shevis the 3rd wife married to the family.
ReplyDeleteThat's part of what one signs up forcwgen you live in a family house with your spouse. See finish go enter, especially if you married one who doesn't command respect or have a boundary.
Stella she is the third wife to be married into the family and she stays in the family compound with her husband senior brother family
ReplyDeleteStella, i don't think she meant she literally married a married man.
ReplyDeleteWhat i understood from her chronicle is that,she is married to her own husband but her co-wife and her children are making life difficult for her staying in the family house.
Poster,- please give to the children anything they want because they're all innocent and can eat like birds(i have children in those age gaps too) but whilst doing that don't allow hate cloud your heart.
Your co-wife might see the hate and start acting on it there by making you out to be the bad person.
Why will she give them anything they want, where is the place of discipline and self control.... Abeggy
DeletePoster being a 3rd wife you should be prepared mentally and in every other endeavour of what is to come or you will see...Unless you just want to be a simple person and believe everything will be on a golden platter or your husband promised you heaven and earth...
ReplyDeleteI understand how children can be and this is the consuming age (where they eat voraciously) but you shouldn't hoard food from them..If the 1st wife treats you in a certain way, don't transfer it to the kids, that you make a weak person to hurt people as vulnerable as KIDS..And you have invariably lost that respect from those children...
You are married to your husband right, so I don't see why you should have an issue with the 1st wife unless she has done terrible things to you but just dey your dey...
Those little kids are your own kids even though you didn't give birth to them..Be nice, cater, nuture them, correct them in love when they do wrong..Let me tell you their mother cannot train them alone; you can contribute your own quota in raising those kids to become responsible and make the home peaceful and conducive...Stop being competitive or combative...Show empathy to the other wives..Nobody said you should be a sheep but you can be assertive and live in harmony..
What are you doing? Do you have a job, business or learning a trade...Please get busy because you are overthinking things and going overboard...
You know one thing about men..He is observing you and the way you are handling those children so he will be imagining how you would treat your own kids or even his other relative children..You need to be wise and handle this with every sense of maturity...
I know of couples that were trying to have kids. They would reach out to kids gifting them toys, paying school fees e.t.c..God opened the woman's womb and blessed them with kids...Do you know God listens to the prayers of children? trust me he does...Please change and you will be a happy person...All the best..
Spot on
DeleteThe problem is that you are saying 'my husband' and not 'our husband'. As if the husband is yours alone. So wife cannot eat her husband's bread in peace just because he is the first wife and you are the new third wife. Respect your self oo.
ReplyDeleteWhat actually pushed you to this third wife thing since it's obvious you want a husband to yourself. You really don't want to share but with your korokoro you went and become third wife, if you were the first and he married others I will understand, but you are a fucking third wife. So you were aware of what you are getting into. In that house, the first wife has all the rights and should in fact be your second husband. You are the intruder in that family, actually you are the one disturbing their peace.
How can you not give kids ordinary indomie? like how? and you agreed to be a third wife. This chronicle is all against you, you are not fit for a polygamous home, nice you don't have a child yet, I can imagine if you already have one what that house will be. Quietly carry your bags and just leave that house. If not we are still waiting for more of your chronicles.
She's actually talking about her sister in-law..as in her husband elder brothers wife.
DeleteAbeg abeg, let's not encourage long throat in children . They are not married to the same man. The said woman is her husband brother's wife. How can her kids not greet you again cause you didn't give them food! What kind of training is she giving her kids.
DeleteHence forth , give them when you feel like and not all the time. That's how they will become entitled to people's things in future.
Your co-wife's children have long throat problem but to be fair, you're an asshole. 'My Husband'. That man is 'our Husband', the first wife is the original wife, a figure head. She is the woman leader of the polygamous family you have so openly and graciously embraced. Figure out a way to sort your problems. I don't see any problem other than the typical polygamy hassle
ReplyDeleteIs he my husband or our husband?If it's a polygamous marriage,I believe you knew what you were getting into,stop all that testing,it never ends well,show them genuine love,you cannot get what you do not give.If you come gun blazing with a commando i won't take nonsense from anyone,you will get the same treatment,show them love,love never fails(I no say make you go borrow money take feed dem o)Wisdom is profitable to direct.
ReplyDeleteWait! You denied little children food?
ReplyDeletePoster, not like I mean to profile you o, but you come off as someone that can maltreat your 'step children' and domestic staff
DeleteSo little children should have long throat? From the comments I've read so far , I'm bothered about the training you guys are giving your kids. You mean you let them eat anyhow and everywhere without restraint? Na wa o!
DeleteWhat is denied little children food? There's a difference between children who eat because they're hungry and the latter ones who eat because it's readily available for them to consume. There's a difference please. If a child is genuinely hungry and wants to eat, why not? 🤷♀️ But a child who throws tantrums and wails because of being denied what's not rightfully theirs, please go ahead and cry 😢😭 me a bucketful 🪣.
DeleteThat's how they'll grow up to lack contentment and become easy prey for those who may want to hurt them.
The parents of those children should tighten their discipline belt, it's slacking
Anon 15:59, thank you oh! Everyone just dey attack the woman (as usual, anywhere belle face). No one is seeing that those kids are badly behaved! God knows I don't like "long throated kids". I give kids things. I have three kids people think are mine because of how I treat them. If I come join all the little friends I have, omo, I'm sure people will wonder how I gave birth to so many kids. But despite my love for them, I dare not see any "long throat vibe" or harmful play, eye wey I go look you ehn! Even their parents know this and sometimes remind them I don't like seeing them exhibit such traits.
DeleteThe poster get her own for body oh but, abeg, parents should learn to train their kids well abeg.
My taut exactly oo..none has the right to judge the woman, we can actually take little from what that woman has been taking in that shit hole of a marriage..no home training on the part of the kids ,no privacy..my goodness she is a human being
DeleteAnonymous 15:59, Twins Squared and Smh, God bless you. Let's train children well please. There's too many entitled, selfish adults roaming the streets already.
Delete@Smh 16.14...
DeleteI have been using the moniker, "SMH" for ages on this site - even when many told me to leave, because I am non-Nigerian. Please, why are you using my screen name? I hope you're not trying to be messy! 🤨🤔
There are so many initialisms. Try and be original!!
This must be an Igbo woman. Igbo women call their co-wives nwunye dim, meaning my husband's wife, so maybe that's why she is referring to her as first wife. I was confused too.
ReplyDeleteTrue @ 15:40. It shows people just rush to comment without reading to understand. Make una try to dey read article twice before commenting.SMH.
DeletePoster, you can do your personal shopping and leave them in your bedroom. Get a small fridge with lock also for perishable goods which will also be in the bedroom. No need to be fussy about food.
Lovelace
She dey vex say two year old eat bread and biscuit? Hahahaha. Poverty mentality. Your chronicle is just about food. Low cost food at that. Easy abeg
ReplyDeleteIt’s not poverty mentality. Those children are terribly behaved and you know it
DeleteAdebekee you have sense. That small baby that cries because they did not give him what he demands should be ignored when he gets tired of crying and rolling on hard floor he will learn by force. Spoilt toddler. Throwing tantrum because of another perosn's food like it is your birthright.
DeleteThat is how my flat mate wanted to use longer throat to finish all our provisions even though nobody touches her own. Very entitled wicked girl. If you buy some snacks and a pack of juice each for both of you. She will drink her juice fast them run to your room to beg and take from your own. if after buying the food both of you will eat with your money then you have like a few change left and you decided to use the remaining small change to buy a loaf of bread and did not buy for her because the money cannot be enough again she will squeeze face and her eye will turn red even though you had already given her a whole burger and a pack of juice. She will not talk to you till she the next day or two days or till when she gets tired of keeping malice on top of your money. You will buy cloth just make sure you buy it equally quantity wise for you both even though it is your money do not make the mistake of buying an extra top or bra for yourself she will keep malice like you are her mama and she is your responsibility. I just knew she lacked good upbringing The next semester I moved far away from her and got a new place. I did not take a pin from her. To think she was eating my food not paying house rent but she still beefs me for not spending all my money on her till the last kobo creeped me out and i ran from her.
All these entitled bad behaved adults where did you think they appeared from? some you will lend them money they will not refund you and fight you when you ask for your money even though they have it but they will not give you because they are entitled to your sweat. some will have their own man but it is other people's man that will be shooting their eye.
Some are envious of other success stories and jealousy is in their blood. The funny thing is those kids will go out there and mix with other people's kids and be giving them unnecessary headache.
Gbokogboko. you did not see a single man to marry. you are not even ashamed. Poverty things. fighting over rice and bread. shame dey catch me on your behalf.
ReplyDeleteDon’t marry broke girls hungry girls people wey dey train in lack and poverty it doesn’t leave them. Avoid people trained with black fufu
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm some people's stinking attitude can drive u nuts or make u become petty if u are not careful, i understand u dear poster. Ur narrative on the children's sude is as a result of accumulated anger towards there mother's behaviour.
ReplyDeleteCalm down take a deep breath and think out a permanent solution. Dnt be rude, bitchy, petty etc. That is how she wants u to be, but once u are smart in ur dealings with her, u will send her to thought ville. She will start being calculative and cautious with u.
Pray against the spirit of anger, and ask God for wisdom.
I fully understand u and feel ur pains, take it easy sis bcoz of ur health. U need to be happy ok.
God will bless u with ur own children so that they can go and throw away the first wife's bread too.
#just joking#
Dear poster you confused us with this "I'm the Third wife". So you live with ur husband elder brother and his wife and children..she's your sister in-law.
ReplyDeleteOnce u stay in a family house u must loss ur right to privacy,that one na sure.But since these are just children,just keep enduring them and pls it is just food so if u have give them. And u said u are yet to have kids,treat them like ur own..if it was ur own child that wants bread,won't u give him.Children bring blessings o.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis use of third wife is confusing and it won't allow you get they necessary/solid advice you need.
ReplyDeleteThis Chronicle dey confuse person. I no even know the advise to give 🤐
DeleteMaybe this post should be rewritten because I'm confused. Is poster the third wife of her husband or she's the third wife in the family, i.e. her husband is married to only her while the first and second wives are the senior brothers' wives?
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I don't have a lot of advice for you but this: please calm down and ask God for more grace for patience. You really need to stretch your patience this time around to accommodate your new family. I have a fair idea of what you are talking about and I know it's a tough spot.
ReplyDeleteTry to be gracious with them, gently draw the boundaries that will help your sanity. Don't complain too much to your husband, after all, they are his family and the better you get along with them, the happier he'll be. But encourage him to let you guys get your own apartment. Us women are territorial and you won't feel completely in charge of your home until you are fully in charge of your home. lol. The goal is for you guys to move out.
This is a new phase of life for both of you. Please don't be hostile to your new family. In time, y'all will find a middle ground. As a friend told me when I was newly married, water must find it's level. Stay calm inugo?
God bless your home
She is the third wife as in the third woman married into her husband's family.
ReplyDeleteWell hat is what you signed up for b living in a family house.
Poster,call on of these aluminum door makers to make a lock for your fridge.
ReplyDeleteStart locking your kitchen door. Those kids are not well trained. I have little kids too, they behave well in the house and outside. they don't jump on people's foods, even at home, they eat whatever I give them, even if I eat something else. Put them all in their place. Tell your husband to move out, you can support him if he is not bouyant enough.
My first time commenting here
ReplyDeleteThank you Martins
I've been procrastinating getting a name for so long.
Bvs welcome me please
You are welcome, feel at home 😁😁
DeleteLet's read to comprehend. Some people didn't even finish the chronicle before attacking and abusing the poster. @poster you have to be wise now. You need wisdom to tackle this issue so you don't end up having issues with your husband.
ReplyDeleteOh lawd those children have been spoilt!
ReplyDeleteTheir mother failed in raising/training her children now they have such huge longer throat with entitlement mentality on what's not from their mom and directly from their dad.
Yes poster, she's entitled to her husband's everything.
Except you are a Muslim then you are excused for marrying another woman's husband as a third wife at that and you have the guts to complain?
I'm just wondering, the first child (I guess) of the first wife is just 8yrs old and the husband is already married to three wives.
What kind of a man is that?
I feel disgusted at the children's behaviour, actually.
ReplyDeleteAs in! Poster is even kind sef. I would have flogged them for their long throat behavior. What rubbish!
DeletePoster, you started something that isn’t sustainable.
ReplyDeletePut your foot down!!! And start praying. That kind of woman will not mind going diabolical so that your husband can leave everything he has to her kids. I have someone like that in my extended family.
And make them know that unless you give them food, they should not touch it. Or if you can afford it, put a bedside fridge in your bedroom and put all the stuff that’s important to you there. They have been spoiled rotten by their mum and you’re not obligated to spoil them in Addition.
Ignore anybody calling you wicked, they will not take half of what you’re taking
It was so important when I was growing up not to go around ppl when they are eating or begging them for their food. It was always considered to be something that is just not done.
ReplyDeleteThe children are still very young, 8,6,2 are very young children. Despite their behaviour they should not be treated as you would treat adults. Correct them kindly and lovingly, you may the only source that show them a different way of being. Children remember everything and it is very important how you treat them since you still do not have any of your own, and you need to tread very carefully how you think and speak of them. If you patience is wearing thin then pray, if you are being stretched to your limit then pray. Whenever you start thinking poorly of other ppl's children this world gives you a serious wake up call with your own.
Even if she corrects them lovingly by the time they report to their mom she won't see it in that light remember she is also very entitled and lack boundaries. Bringing up well brought up children is on the parent and that is their job. Do not put the burden on others. Those children spend more time with their parent than they do with the poster I believe, so the mother has a greater influence over her children at the end of the day and if she finds out that the poster did not give her children their "entitlements" she would react angrily to the supposed bad treatment of her children by the third wife instead of appreciate her effort and that will be the cue for the children to continue the bad behaviour.
DeleteI have a friend when she visits and you are eating her daughter of 5 years old who has already been been well-fed before they came over would stand in front of you while staring into your food. After a while she would start crying and as the food is entering your mouth and you are dropping the spoon back into the plate she is in sync with the movement of your hand. I told her gently that she should go and sit and whenever she sees anyone be it an adult or her fellow kids eating and they did not offer her food or ask her to come and eat she should not stand in front of them like that. She refused to move away so i kept on eating and did not give her. Do you know what her mother who was my friend said? She said I treated her daughter badly that her daughter just wants to have a taste of the food and I kept her standing there when i should have gotten her a small bowl and give her some out of the food. I was shook😳So tell me how would those children poster complained about believe she is right if she corrects them gently and their mom who is angry of the loving correction is wrong?
That my friend's child was in front of me till i was done eating staring into my food. That same child once dipped her hand into the food of a guest who visited their house and i was present at the time. She dipped her hand into the elderly woman's food and took out the meat from the food.
See ehn there is nothing like the world giving anyone one yeye wake up call with their own children simply they thought poorly of someone else's child as long as the said child is truly acting poorly and you are not just imagining it in your head then you are doing nothing wrong that will come back to bite your ass in the future. That is a big lie. People need to get rid of that fake notions that kids will always be kids same excuses they make for men and say that men will always be men. Get rid of that notion and bring up your children well at that young age when they are extremely impressionable, flexible and dependable give them good morals and proper upbringing and you will be happy for it. Do not wait till when they start to enter their teens.
Poster should do whatever she feels is right. She is not wrong to feel the way she does. Heck! Even the children's mama need home training.
Imagine! Chai! I like what you did to the child. You have sense. If it was me sef, I would have pursued her from my front. I hate long throat with a passion. My nephew is spending some days with us at home. If he sees anything with you, he will stretch out his hands to beg. I have handled his case already. Now he has adjusted. Even if I put a bowl of goodies in front of me, he must look away like I instructed him.
Delete@Anon 19:59, so children this age should be dealt with like you would an adult. People need to be careful in the world. Everyone has free will and free to do as they choose, but I have lived long enough to see a whole lot on this Earth. When I say be careful of the thoughts that you have about other ppl's children I am not pulling that out my behind.
DeleteI can tell you right now that in the poster's mind she thinks to herself that when she has children they will never be like these children. She is likely so sure of how great a mother she will be and how perfect her children will be. From the moment you have children of your own or you are planning to become a parent you need to think neutral when it comes to other ppl's kids especially when they are that small. But like I said everyone has free will and not even the Creator takes that away from us, so she can continue as she chooses if that is what pleases her.
Poster, those children loves you treat them like your own
ReplyDeletePoster u need to set boundaries,when the kids come around let them know where to go and where not to,let them know they are not allowed to go to ur fridge to take anything without ur permission,give them whatever u want to and take ur mind off it,tolerate them for this while and talk to ur husband about moving out to ur own space.it’s not entirely their fault,their parents did a bad job longthroat and entitlement full their body they are really badly behaved kids.
ReplyDelete3rd wife
ReplyDeleteExpecting peace
Funny tho
She is the third woman to married into the family.
ReplyDeleteMy dear free the children give them food, no add them to the family ish, tomorrow you sef go get pikin wey go collect food from her. free ya mind, no be everything you see u go react no forget say na family compound you dey, anything you see take am.
This chronicle dey confuse me sha........o
ReplyDeleteOkay Madam, BVs have fully explained it. You are the third woman to marry one of three brothers after two had married. And you leave in the family house.
ReplyDeleteYour case is that your co-wives or the first co-wife and her children behave as if they own your husband and all he has (maybe including you) You do not like that behaviour. So you have started putting your foot down.
Are you over reacting? All things being equal, you are not over reacting at all
BUT all things are never equal with human beings.
The family have been living a communal lifestyle. They enter each other's apartment and eat what they see. The children were born into that lifestyle. That is why they are continuing with it. If you try to stop it, you will or may not be able to withstand the backlash.
You should even be thankful for that situation. There are families where cousins do not know themselves or their uncles and aunties. In some families, nieces and nephews will throw away any food given to them by their uncles or aunties out of fear of being poisoned.
I know a family where all or most of the cousins live in one home during holidays and weekends. To tell the truth, I wish I had that type of childhood and I wish for it for my children. Ten cousins or more growing up as brothers, sisters and as friends.
So long as your you can afford it, let the children eat. Sometimes, inconvenience yourself too. Your co-wives will understand or are expected to demonstrate some level of understanding when your own children come. You may even need the help of your co-wives and their children then. So why do you want to alienate them ahead of them.
Call the children and tease them into forgiving you as per say "Senior nor dey apologise to small pikin for Naija culture".
If you do not like the community life style, then pray, work, and pray for money to afford alternative accommodation. Also quietly pray and SENSIBLY work at convincing your husband to agree with you to move.
Please this matter is not a fight matter. Thank God, you did not complain about the older wives sending you on small wife (Iyawo) errands, etc.
May God give you your children soon.
She may not have written the story right but after reading it first time I straight away knew she is a wife to one of the men in the family!
ReplyDelete..and they said happily"let us sit down aunty will give us indomie". Hello madam.,you are the problem. Thanks
ReplyDeleteBy 3rd wife I think she m means the 3rd son's wife. Not his third wife
ReplyDeletePoster you didn't do the needful before moving in with your husband, I tot before one get married you and your husband should discuss where you both will put up. How to treat third parties, family members and others.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't bother to ask you husband to get an apartment outside his family house. Married but staying in family house has never paid most women. They always complain how family members maltreat them badly.
If you want to enjoy your marriage and avoid senior wife and her children wahala I will say you and your husband should get another apartment outside the family compound. Stay far from the family house and only visit once in a blue moon but do more of calling to check up on them. See fishi is too much in a family compound.
Next thing is that can you treat those children well press ignore eyes towards so certain things. Children love food and from my own point of view they enjoy being around you. You can win their love over even wirh their mum. I see no reason you should be complaining over food, serve them what is available if you have and lock up when you don't have.
Stop complaining and being unhappy cos kids eat your food. How will you want your follow wives to treat your own children? Please see those children like yours, ignore their mother's attitude, show them.love and correct them.wirh love gradually before you know it they will all learn how to behave around you.
Stop this bitter and being stingy with ordinary food. You kept on talking about bread, noddle, rice like I those children were yours you will not feed them with bread, noddle and rice. Abeg give children food make them chop haba.