Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Friday, August 06, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

 Hmmmm....






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED



Hi Stella,

I am dating this airforce pilot guy, we met through my cousin.

 My cousin is an IT expert, so we needed his IT expertise in my dad's company. So one day he came there to help us out and came with his friend. I didn't really take notice of his friend( airforce guy) but he did take notice of me and liked me instantly.


He told my cousin he liked me and all. My cousin relayed the message to me, but i was hesitant cause i just got out of a relationship 5 months earlier due to communication issues. Anyway i finally decided to talk to him, he got my number and we chatted on the phone. I noticed he too has issues with communication, lol. He can go 2, 3 days without calling me.


Anyway i spoke to him about it, he apologized and said that's his nature ,it's not intentional and he is working on it.

He said previous girlfriends left him cause of his communication issues.

I asked my cousin if that's how he is, he said yes. That even his mum, he can go without talking to her for days.

I see the future in him, he is kind, caring and super focused. Anytime he has plans he tells me first and seeks my opinion, he listens to me. If he wants to get new clothes or anything he always asks me what i think. 


He says my opinion is important. I jokingly told him to change his cream cause it was darkening him. Would you believe that he took me to the supermarket to pick out the best 1 for him. He has spoken to his mum and sisters about me.


He recently travelled abroad to get his Canadian licence (flight) and encouraged me to move over. He got an agent to help me so i can go for my masters.

When i complain about his communication, he said that he told me this was his issue before and that i told him, i am team no sex before marriage , because i am a virgin and he agreed to my terms. So why can't i agree to his.

When he was travelling to Canada he gave me his hoodie and said this was so precious to him but wants me to keep it.

Recently we spoke and i expressed displeasure on the fact that we haven't spoken in 5 days and told him we should just be friends because i can't be begging man for attention. Let me just let him be. He said he is so focused on getting his licence but really loves me. 

Lack of Communication is a deal breaker for me.
How can you date someone without checking up on them.

Mind you , i also call him to check up on him. Sometimes he doesn't answer. He says he is not a WhatsApp guy. He is hardly online.

He is 27 and i know he is a good guy

Should i just let him go? I am not clingy but i need communication? Should i ignore him totally??? I work also but i always try to check up.
Thanks.





He told you in the beginning that he could not communicate well and it even led to the breakup of his relationship.... You knew all these but still entered and trying to change him...
 
He might not change anytime soon and you will turn from a loving girlfriend into a nagging one.... I think you should let him go and be just friends.

100 comments:

  1. You two are not compatible and it be nice you let him go or just be friends with him
    Communication is key though

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear poster, I've been in your exact situation, I almost believed this was my handwriting except that the guy's profession is different. The few countries I've been to was because of him, he exposed me to a lot of great things. Good guy BUT...... communication was the major issue and at some point I couldn't cope anymore; I had to let him go before I loose my mind. We no longer talk. I feel we shouldn't have started a relationship, we should have remained just friends but....we move.

      Delete
    2. but he told you about the communication issue and your cousin confirm it...if you continue disturbing him to change, he will start seeing you as a nagging woman... if you cant cope with it..let go..forget about the juicy benefits...

      Delete
    3. U broke ur past relationship becos of communication issue! So why accept this one

      Aunty move on pls. Relationship without communication is dead.

      Delete
    4. Nne.

      My husband's best friend his a pilot and I can tell you that this guy's hardly keep in touch with whoever it's on this earth. You need to be the one dealing with the communication for now oh. It's their nature. They don't socialize as well. They don't have dress sense aside that their normal outfit they wear to fly. All others is zero. The only thing in their head is family, flying and money and women for the randy ones. If you cannot deal with it let him go. I forgot to add they get easily irritable and pissed. Only a few of them behave normally.

      A matured woman should not be finding this things difficult. Communication means alot to you so I suggest you let him go because that Canada you want to go is super boring

      Also this certifications are freaky expensive. The least of his problems really would be talking on phone. That thing called plane is a moving casket. He needs to FOCUS.

      Delete
    5. Lack of Communication is a deal breaker for me.

      Read the above again sis, you have the answer to what you seek already

      Delete
    6. Madam, he told you before you started dating, so why are you nagging? Mtcheeew... That is how you will marry someone that talks and then send another chronicle to Stella that he is a cheat. Even me that's married, my hubby no get everything 100%... Mtcheeew

      Delete
    7. @poster, there's no perfect man out there o, hmmmn. When you meet the great communicator who chats and sleeps with all the girls online what would you say?

      Delete
    8. She can also meet a great communicator that chats, calls and not sleep with girls. I don't know why we humans think we can't have it all?

      Delete
    9. Let me perch here.
      Poster. Listen to me and listen to me well.

      This is a RED FLAG. A MIGHT BIG, WAVING, SHOUTING RED FLAG.

      Let me ask you. If he wasn’t a pilot and didn’t have money and prospects, wouldn’t you have bounced? I’m not implying that you’re a good digger, I’m just saying that you’re obviously lowering your standards because of the comfortable future you envisage.
      But listen let me tell you, communication and companionship is the bedrock of any relationship or marriage. You CANNOT survive or build a beautiful marriage with someone who doesn’t fellowship with you.
      Come to think of it, the Bible says we are in fellowship with God. A WHOLE GOD. BIG GOD decided to ‘stoop’ low to be our friend and lover because he loves us and craves to be with us.
      That there is love.

      Now, he threw the ‘that’s how I am, I can’t change’ line to you. And you accepted. Aren’t we In this relationship to get BETTER for the next person. Communication and keeping away from sex are not on the same level. One is important for us to focus and build and to have God involved in our relationship, the other literally is the death of your relationship. So both of them aren’t to be compared to each other.

      My boo doesn’t communicate. Lol. That one? He can say three days without talking to a human being. Infact after being with people, he takes some time to recharge. That is his nature. Very weird and different from me.
      Nna when we started, I told him I am BIG on communication. And I can’t imagine staying the whole day not hearing from him and then he reaches out only at night or when he’s about to sleep. Mine was a day oh. And he told me that he’s naturally a recluse but he’s willing to work on it. Once he starts slacking, I gently call him out and he re adjusts. And this is because he is WILLING. That willingness to adjust to make me happy is the main thing. Not whether he’s getting it right or not, but the fact that he’s willing to change and get better.
      Your man lacks willingness and that is a red flag.
      This is communication, what other areas is he going to dig his foot into the ground and insist thah he cannot and would not change. Ha. Who goes a whole 1,2,3,4,5 days to without calling. 5!!! From Monday to Friday. Jehovah.
      Sis please take a step back and re evaluate.
      Don’t listen to people who tell you that they lost the best that there is for them and you should dash him and they won’t nag.
      This is your life. Ask yourself hard questions. Can you live with this forever and ever. Does this guy even love you? Today is license he’s getting and doesn’t have time. Tomorrow it’s another license or external consultatancy. It’s never going to end.
      Why can’t he call Yoh when brushing. Why can’t he call when walking to the car. Why can’t he get on a silent video call when at the office or even in the library.
      Daily communication is the lifeline of any relationship.

      I’m not saying he’s a bad person. He seems to be a great focused guy. Yes, no one has it all. But there are some qualities that are basic. You wouldn’t want to be an old grumpy wife in the future who pours all her love into her children because her husband doesn’t communicate.

      I know it’s hard sis. So here’s what you should do.
      Ask God for mercy. Ask him to open your eyes. He would show you what really is happening and you would receive strength to do the right thing.

      I pray for you. That you don’t give away your happiness because of what people would say.

      Delete
  2. He is not the talking type...this he told you already.
    If you know you can't cope now better to end things now than to become a bitter and nagging wife

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has already told you who he is, can you stand it or not?
      If you can't let him go, you people keep creating wahala for yourselves.
      Does his good side outweigh his bad side? Cus nobody comes 100 percent perfect.

      He seems so focused for someone his age, which I love and respect.
      He will make a great provider but may not be present for all your marital milestones.

      He will definitely succeed in life, and you won't lack.

      My advice: with age on your side, why don't you get something for yourself. Grow yourself too, if it works fine if it doesn't, that's still okay.

      Delete
    2. Please from my experience I believe him. I dated a pilot and he told me they switch off their phones often but I was so young and proud I let the most loving person I had ever been with go. Please don't. Find a hobby to keep you busy.

      Delete
  3. If you know him well enough to be sure he isn't married,I'll advice you to be patient with him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You want him to be want you want. He has told you and you have seen firsthand who he is. If you cannot accept him the way he is, please move on. Do not try to change hime. If constant communication is a deal breaker to you and YOU CANNOT CHANGE, please move on to avoid an unpleasant union. He will try to change temporarily because of his love for you and your nagging but his true self will come out later in the marriage.

      Delete
  4. He is everything you want in a man save for the lack of communication. You can’t have it a 100.
    Since lack of communication is a deal breaker for you, let go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can't get it 100% when it comes to men. If he passes 80%, no problem. Try add value to yourself, hope you are working? Try and understand that young guy, he's still young.

      Delete
  5. You guys are not compatible. Quit it now before you get hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Don't let him go. Take what he can offer n distract yourself when he is busy. Don't fall completely in love with him. So you can do a mental check out if things go south

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nagging girlfriend. Man laid his cards on the table, told you his bad side of communication, you still asking jamb question.

    Leave him if you can't cope. At least he is honest.

    Me think ladies love lies

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg 5days is too much , maybe she was not expecting the communication to be that poor.

      Delete
  8. I dated someone like this, how I suffered, he can go for 1 month no call, before he will answer his whatsaap message ehhhh. I'm a very patient person, I tried for 2 years, and I had to let it go. To see me wahala self, it was a no sex relationship

    No. 1 ingredient in relationship is communication, without communication, that relationship goes no way. I had to withdraw myself small small, let him go completely. I begged, nagged, complain, bitter, tried to understand no way. All he says, was, I'm not the type that communicate my foot. Go and date a mannequin oga, wonder why it took me so long before I could let go

    Dear, let that guy go now, you see that relationship? Unless you're like that, if you love and believe in communication the way I do, it won't work out believe me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is how they are when it is a no sex relationship. Acting like you forced them to into it even though I did not take a pin or collect money from him just to be fair besides I was very comfortable with my own job, car and everything but he was not consistent call and when I call he would not pick sometimes. I broke up with him at last. I later realised it was the no sex that made him act that way.

      Poster forget all the qualities you mentioned. If the main one that is atop your list the one you truly desire is absent then he is not the one. people will be asking God for a sign and he will give them but you will still be rationalizing everything. There are over 1001 ways God can tell you a man is not for you. Subtle signs so do not ignore!

      You will meet the man that fits you like I eventually did. my husband calls me throughout the day if not to check on me but to discuss how his day is going or if he saw or heard something funny he does not wait till he gets home before he gets me.

      A whole 5 days!!! Haba what if you had fainted within that period or you were ill he wouldn't have figured it out because he did not call to check, LET HIM GO!!!!

      You might not even be the only one is dating

      Delete
    2. Yeah. Five days is too much though.

      Delete
    3. It's OK to not communicate for 5 days. People need to stop believing you need to talk to who u re dating every blessed day.

      Delete
  9. its possible that he loves you enough to be the mother of his kids but not enough to actually want u around now especially because the one who he doesnt see a future with is giving him all the sex styles in the worrld. thats the kind of person he would have around till hes married to u. my advice , break up with him or u wait and never complain. no man is ever like that ....... when we love soemthing wholeheartedly, we go for it.....5 days !!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mummy Stella don't waste your time advertising this one she does not deserve your precious advice. Is because of the abroad that she's forcing the relationship. Is obviously you don't love they guy in question Mr poster. But your ojukokoro no go gree you withdraw. The same thing that made you to beak up with your ex is the same early sign you're seeing in this new huy yet you have shuk head. Use your tongue and count your teeth autny cos if you marry this kind guy ehn, na then you go know the real him.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I know that communication is very important in any relationship but i think you should be the one to be reaching out to him if you love him truly.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You tell them...wahala! You don't tell them wahala!!!!.... no one is perfect abeg. If he doesn't call you. YOU CALL HIM!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But she said she reaches out to him, but he is reluctant to even engage back.
      Poster leave that man, you cherish communication, he isn't bothered about it.
      It's a matter of time before you start communicating deeply with another man who you'll eventually get emotionally entangled with, and start cheating with.
      Just let him be completely, carry your mind comot, let him call or reach out when he feels like.
      Do this for the next one month and observe how many times he reached out to you during this period, is he worried you have stopped making attempts to communicate? If he isn't, then he is far from redemption. Moveeeee.

      Delete
  13. Why don't you call him instead of waiting for him to call. Communication is a two way thing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She says sometimes he does not pick.

      Delete
    2. She said he does not answer sometimes & the matriarch

      Delete
  14. I know of someone like him,I just couldn't continue because of that.
    I left abeg.i can't be killing myself for something as simple as a call.nne if you truly love him don't break up yet innugo
    Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dont marry someone who has a character you cant deal with. You'll end up being bitter ,insecure and a nag.
    My partner is a mamas boy, and honestly I no send. Cos I'm indecisive as well. His mum is my bestie and we both seek her advice in things. On the other hand, I dropped some exs in the past for the the mere fact that they cant wont cook or help in the kitchen.
    In essence, dont be ashamed of knowing your limits

    ReplyDelete
  16. Poster marry him. I can stay 2 weeks without talking to anyone on phone. My boyfriend left me because of it. I hv learnt my lesson. I trying to communicate wit my girls more now. Stil no guy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. At least, u were informed. Either u manage it or let him ho

    ReplyDelete
  18. No one is perfect. And he has told you his weaknesses. Come on, you are not begging to be communicated with. He just doesn't have it like you want it. Cant you be the strong one here? That's complementing him. Making up for his deficiency.
    Don't let a good guy go. It's all about compromise here and there. If that's the only issue you have with him. I suggest you step up in that aspect. This guy is into you. He's told his Mum and his sisters. And he asks your opinion about things he wants to do.

    Anyway, pray. But I think this is a catch.

    Most men struggle with keeping tabs. Ask the women they will tell you. With my husband I'm use to it. I don't get upset. He travels and doesn't remember to tell me he has arrived.

    Sometimes I have to be the one calling and asking how far? I do it. No nagging. But if you can't compromise, toh let him go. The one who will make up for his weakness will show up.




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lady T you are right some men are like that, even my husband, but learnt to live with it is not easy , is a decision she has to make by herself if this guy is good in other side and she can cope without communication.

      Delete
    2. True, you will not see anyone 100% perfect but if he's 85% of what you desire why not do the calling , don't go and lose a good man because of 15% o

      Delete
    3. She said she does the calling and he does not pick.

      Delete
  19. Ask Holy Spirit to guide you

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hey I'm the poster. I call him but hr hardly picks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You mentioned he is applying for his license, can you be patient?
      Steve Harvey once said when a man is focused on a goal, most times, his woman would bear the brunt till that goal is achieved.
      I think you have a good one, I know communication is key but why not make most of the times you communicate and don't stop reaching out.
      If this would be an issue for you, I guess you take walk.

      Delete
    2. Ha! This is a red flag.

      Delete
    3. LD...So because he is applying for his license means he does not use the toilet or have his bath 30 mins he does not eat he does not watch tv or check the internet for good 5 days? Neither does he go to bed and spend up to eight hours to sleep each day? Don't you know poster is also part of his goal if he is truly serious about her? If he cannot mulitistask (even though i do not see talking to your woman for a minimum of twenty minute a huge task) then he should stay off relationships and stop draining someone's child emotionally.

      Poster are you sure he loves you? You said your father has a company and he knows. Just be careful. He might be dating you because of your financially stable family and the virginity reveal but might not really dig you. Both of you are not friends and that is what keep people going in marriage after some years. Just be careful

      Delete
    4. I think the guy is dating you for other reason this one you call him and he hardly picks. Hope he does not have another babe.

      Delete
    5. @anon 15:03, keep emotions aside and be logical. Have you ever dated a pilot before? Do you know how tasking getting a license is? What would you say about sailors That can am go months without communicating with their loved ones?
      Common now...

      Delete
    6. What if those times, he is out in the field or came back exhausted and sleeping, I will advise you do the calling, mentally give him 5 days to respond or you go to canada for the masters and watch him at close range

      Delete
  21. This relationship started with you being the first communicator.
    This guy was sincere with you from the beginning and without any pretense as to who he is.
    You are so demanding for his call every 2 days at least and he cannot do it.
    You are in a fix about letting him go because there is an "abroad Canadian dimension" to the whole show.
    Have you counted the cost of marrying a soldier...he may have assignments sometimes
    that even his wife won't know anything about and at such times, he won't talk for days or weeks.
    Count the cost and decide if you can
    accept him as he it.
    And above all, bring the Savior, the one that died for you into this
    relationship and your life.
    Cheers. πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ‘„πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜

    ReplyDelete
  22. In all these things you said in this long essay, one thing is missing;
    Has he asked you to marry him?
    Telling his people about you is not a proposal.
    Giving you his hoodie is not a proposal, or is it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down haba! They're dating to know each other.

      This rush to marry is what is causing a lot of marital issues. Women are so focused on who will marry them that they don't take the time to study the man if he would be a good husband and father.

      Delete
  23. I don't understand how you say you love someone and not check up on them ? I think when you love someone , you always want to check up on them , Even if it's ones a day before going to bed πŸ€” just be careful with this one .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Likeeeee, what if she was admitted in the hospital or something. She calls him and he doesnt pick or call back???.
      Biko, na homo you dey date oo. Your calls seem to irritate him

      Delete
    2. Exactly! how do you love someone and not be able to communicate? even if you are not the talking type. Trust me, there comes a time in a persons life where there is one person you communicate with on a daily basis, not necessarily family. This type will marry you and go for days without gisting with you in same house. Biko, I am also not the talking type but right now in love, communication is key and couples goal for me.
      Thank you D for checking on me every two hours despite your busy schedule.

      Delete
    3. Don't mind him. If he was dating Rihanna he will not pick up when she calls or call her at all right? just to register his thoughts in her mind before they snatch her from him? He will leave her to other toasters to be whispering sweet nothings into her ears?the fact that he is at a distance will make him to even try harder so she won't slip from his fingers. His way is not pure biko

      The funniest thing is, if the poster withdraws now and act like he is non-existent he will start calling her only to pull her in again when he sees she has started reciprocating and he will revert to his no calling ways like before.

      Poster he does not feel you are a price if he does he won't even give you a breathing space (not in a suffocating way oo) so other guys will not stand a chance considering he is far away.
      Withdraw from him emotionally and small small. Do not put your mind into the relationship meanwhile Give other guys a chance to be friends first and get to know better. Why settle for what you do not like. Are your options limited or what?

      Delete
    4. Abeg stop it. That you don't check on someone everyday doesn't mean you don't love them. As I am, I don't check on those I love everyday. It's not just my thing. It doesn't mean I love them any less.

      Delete
    5. Please poster try and investigate this guy ,he might be gay or he has someone he communicate with all the Time ....I don't trust him one bit

      Delete
    6. Anon16:35 this a relationship , it's should be enjoyed and not managed....we have different types of love but this type of love requires full communication ... Who does he call after work ? Or when he wakes up in the morning or before going to bed? When he is having a bad day and when she calls he doesn't pick ... please this guy doesn't love her ... with distance communication is everything even without distance self...

      Don't call me for just 2days and you say we are dating ? I will so ghost you

      Delete
    7. Or he has a serious girl somewhere, or maybe just isn't the type to commit himself to one woman, expects women to take him as they see him.

      Delete
  24. He's not ready. He should love you enough to spare his time, let him go.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Call you every two days, with which credit. or abi you de recharge his phone? You look like a girl that will be staying 12 hours on a phone conversation in Nigeria. And when the dude says "talk to you later," you will start telling him how you ofe uha soured? Jie breaks o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bush man, wetin happen to WhatsApp calls?

      Delete
    2. @Dee
      Did I read that he is not a WhatsApp person?
      And person no go dey online to use whatsapp?

      Delete
  26. I dnt understand u poster, what stops u from calling and texting him? Abi he does not pick his calls too? Na so una go take loose better man when una too get una own for body.
    Pls let him be cos u are too needy and naggy as u were in the previous relationship. Keep loosing good guys, Shiloh 2050 awaits you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haba.Why so harsh.Read the Chronicle again

      Delete
  27. If he is not listening or ready to make amends, break up with him. I get u clearly cos I am like u and huge on communication and I know if can be very hurtful.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Madam calm down. You don't have to break up with him just yet. Dude is into you obviously, just take care of your emotional attachments to him, if you call & he doesn't pick, send an SMS, a voice note checking up on him.
    Learn to accommodate some things, he's a soldier, he ticks your boxes then work on your emotions, get busy & see if it works, just enjoy the moment. ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  29. You broke a relationship because of lack of communication, so why are you delaying in breaking this one? The man is a confessed non-communicator; You aren't breaking it because of abroad? Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    ReplyDelete
  30. ...well everybody has their thing and peculiarities. I personally don't know how people can claim to be in love with someone and stay 5 straight days without hearing from them, in a world where technology makes it so easy to communicate. Even if it is a one word sms (as he isn't a WhatsApp guy) "hey" Even as a deep introvert, in 5 days, that is in about 120 hours, you cannot spare 3 minutes to check if the person you claim to be in love with is alright.

    The girls who left probably tried too, but their deal breakers were lack of or inadequate communication.

    There is no mincing words here, if that is your deal breaker for real, you will eventually feel miserable and come across as a nag to this guy in the future. For people who it isn't a deal breaker for, it's nothing.

    ...first have a separation, being friends as you have suggested, if both of see you love each other enough to genuinely compromise, then fine. If not stay friends for your own good.

    Also, him journeying with you through the "no sex phase" is totally his choice to stick around. There are people who it is a deal breaker for. Find your 'trybe' (who you are compatible with).

    ReplyDelete
  31. For me lack of communication is a no noI see it as verbal violence /maltreatmentoooo,you can stay with some men complete 24hrs they won’t talk to you just pressing their phone ...I understand that some people are like that but an exception should be made once u are in a relationship with a lady ....

    ReplyDelete
  32. Poster leave that guy i repeat leave that guy!!! Common is he applying for the license 24/7 every day that he cant even reply a message!! There is more to this and you will find out as time goes on, who stays one week without knowing if the other party is dead or alive!!! The truth is colse, this is not your husaband.

    ReplyDelete
  33. If you cant cope,let him go,another girl will love him like that.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Poster pls give him to me ooo biko...
    Don't let such a guy go to waste...
    If I have this kinda relationship so, I no go nag ooo

    ReplyDelete
  35. Stella why did you choose city chocolate for the business giveaway? That girl must not get anything on this blog. Nobody should give her any money or giveawy. i repeat nobody.

    City chocolate shebi you don collect money abi, you go see whether you go collect or win any money again. No Angel on this blog go give you any money. You no do me anything ooo but i hate you 😑😑😑😑😑😑. No giveaway for you. Lie lie no giveaway again for you mtchewwwwwwww

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hian. Why so pained and not that she knows you. Did she collect or say anything bad about you.

      Don't have BP on top money that is not yours and never will be.

      City chocolate congrats

      Delete
    2. Omo 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
  36. I can communicate and also team no sex..
    Oya let's hookup

    ReplyDelete
  37. You obviously do not understand the nature of that word PILOT. If you do you won't even be pestering him with calls talk more of him calling back.

    See. Those certifications are freaky expensive and honestly the money is the easier conversation. Getting successful is extremely hard. It's a freaking job on its own to PASS.

    Please my advice. If you love this guy let him go for now. If God says you both will work he will come back. That guy does not need this distraction please. He needs to FOCUS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He doesn’t need a distraction yet he reached out to her for a relationship. Are you listening to yourself?? He should goddamn focus on his pilot work then.

      Delete
  38. All I see in all this is that the man has not changed despite moving abroad. He never was a good communicator and never will be. Decide if he's worth fighting for. If he is, stop complaining about him not reaching out and enjoy the relationship. If communication is a deal breaker and he is not worth fighting for, break it off now. Don't waste your time.

    ReplyDelete
  39. This kind of guy needs someone that if he can stay 5 days, d girl would give him extra 10days. pple like dis cant change wen u continue to insist. Be like dem and watch things change or scatter. any dat happens is good

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  40. What do you mean she has to be patient with him? Like be patient that he will change? This the problem with some people's marriage. They know that this isn't what they want, they will still put head inside, thinking the partner will change. Whe. The partner doesn't, it leads to nagging and then break up.

    How can you go for days without speaking to someone you claim you love. Not even text messages that take not more than 30 secs. My dear he doesn't love you enough.

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  41. Dear poster, he doesn't love you enough. Those excuses are bullshit. 5 days without talking to someone you love, no way. Something is in there, look deep.

    He will not change, do not settle for what you cannot cope with. The hand writting is there on the wall. He warned you.

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  42. He has someone else. Take this to the bank and cash money with it. He may even be gay.

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  43. No sex relationship makes them act weird. Please quit if you can't cope.

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  44. He has another girl he calls regularly

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  45. Or maybe poster’s a bit too needy or clingy! Na so so talk talk talk. You’re probably folks that can’t be alone, always need to talk. It gets too much abeg and for a pilot, you’ll definitely drain yourself. Use this moment to build yourself, work on your mental and emotional state of mind. Learn to enjoy your own company so that you don’t sit next to the phone waiting for someone to always call you. People have their own lives to live abeg.

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  46. This is a deal breaker for me. I do not understand how you cannot communicate for 5 whole days not even an SMS.He did give you prior warning,i am sure you must have thought it would not be this bad..You have to decide



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  47. Communication is very essential in any relationship,but very much dear to people whose love language is ''word of affirmation"(these kinds don't even need your money,fat bank account,cute dress sense etc they just need your time πŸ‘Œ).

    It's already difficult enough to bear in a relationship where there's no good communication,what more one whose love language is word of affirmation...dear poster if this is you,then I can almost say you won't be able to cope in that relationship (u would almost lose your sanity).

    Love language is really important in any relationship and both partners must know,come to terms with that of their partner and find a way of adjusting to it. Many homes would be a lot happier if only people took their time to meet up their partner's love language

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  48. Poster, hi, I understand how you feel....

    He's seeing someone else, he has more feelings for the other person or people....

    The person I know said the same thing, he lost relationships because of poor communication, all lies, he had other girls he was saying different things to, they say that to keep you ON YOUR TOES and IN and as an excuse for never being available...

    Continue to the detriment of your mental health, just cut him loose, the guy is a player....

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  49. Dear poster,I know exactly how u feel,
    falling for someone who can’t make out time to communicate with you or check up on you.I think if U love someone u go out of ur way to change somethings the person complains about just so ur relationship can be blissful.im sure u didn’t know his flaws will be this bad.
    I’ll advise you to start taking him off ur mind,try to detach urself from this situationship,maybe he doesn’t love u enough or maybe he has someone else in the picture cos his excuse is not good enough.
    if u don’t want to get hurt,take ur mind off him,move on ,mingle,make new friends otherwise u will keep looking like a fan begging a celebrity for attention or he will see u as a nag,it’s not good for ur mental health.i pray u find love.cheers!

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  50. I think the guy..... please i am not sure i just think
    I think he has someone serious and was hoping to just chop and clean mouth but when he heard you were a virgin he decided to keep his options open and have you as a fallback like a second option in case the relationship with other lady he loves more does not work out.

    I feel all those talk about not being a communicative person are just manipulative tactics to keep you where he wants which is behind the scene so you would not disrupt his other relationship. Imagine if he was with his main babe and she is spending the weekend you would have already adjusted to the no communication when he does not call because he is with her and he would not have to pick up your call too in her presence so he won't get caught by her. Besides you call him and he hardly picks please tell me why? He does not call his parent but if they call him does he reject their call like he does with you?
    All those he ask you for advice about cloth, body cream bla bla bla might just be that he feels you are more enlightened in those areas and that is the reason he is seeking your opinion. Maybe you give intelligent advice too that always turn out better for life in the long run in whatever situation he finds himself compare to his main babe so he asks you for your opinion.

    When a man is in love he calls he texts he shows it. When a man is in love you will know no matter how busy he is. That is why some girls will see some guy behave differently and better with other girls and everything they complained about which he never did for them they will see him doing it better for her to the extreme. He might say i am not a social media person only for them to break up and see the same men putting up the pictures of their next girl they are dating all over their social media handles even plaster it on their car like a sticker🀣
    How can he be treating like this at the start of the relationship now he has gotten worse from 2 days to five and you think it will get better.
    I am not saying he is all these ooo but his behaviour is HIGHLY suspicious. i will say give him the same energy and treat him like an option but it seem you have fallen for him so
    Have you prayed about him? Let God direct you.

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  51. As for me communication is not a deal breaker for me.

    Not providing my needs and the kids needs are!

    So I will be very fine with that kind of man who's to busy to call and check up on me as long as he provides all our financial needs, I am busy too making money , improving myself and taking good care of the kids.
    But sha he should show face at home like twice or thrice a month.

    Yes I am a weirdo like that!
    I love love my space!!!!
    Sometimes I think I am abnormal!

    And thank God I am not a man cos my woman wouldn't have understood that I hate daily verbal communication with people.

    I chat alot on social media but not phone calls, like I can decide to purposely ignore people's call only so I could chat them up later giving silly excuses of missing their calls....

    So, people that knows me better only drop me messages rather than calls.

    But I am here in my own reality married to my husband who doesn't understand the word 'my space' and who will ,can buzzzzzzzzzz my phone with calls till my soul wants to leave my body!!!!!! He is not a chat person infact he have problems reading and replying chats.

    He'd rather reply your messages with phone callS.

    Dear poster, if communication is top notch for you in relationship/marriage pls that guy is not for you!
    Simple.

    Glad he informed you prior.


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  52. As for me communication is not a deal breaker for me in relationships.

    Not providing my needs and the kids needs are!

    So I will be very fine with that kind of man who's to busy to call and check up on me as long as he provides all our financial needs,as far as I am busy too making money , improving myself and taking good care of the kids.
    But sha he should show face at home like twice or thrice a month.

    Yes I am a weirdo like that!
    I love love my space!!!!
    Sometimes I think I am abnormal!

    And thank God I am not a man cos my woman wouldn't have understood that I hate daily verbal communication with people.

    I chat alot on social media but not phone calls, like I can decide to purposely ignore people's call only so I could chat them up later giving silly excuses of missing their calls....

    So, people that knows me better only drop me messages rather than calls.

    But I am here in my own reality married to my husband who doesn't understand the word 'my space' and who will ,can buzzzzzzzzzz my phone with calls till my soul wants to leave my body!!!!!!( He wasn't like that during our courtship days o) He is not a chat person infact he have problems reading and replying chats.

    He'd rather reply your messages with phone callS.

    Dear poster, if communication is top notch for you in relationship/marriage pls that guy is not for you!
    Simple.

    Glad he informed you prior about his communication deficiency.


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  53. As for me I values communication.

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