Hmmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
Please Bvs advice me, how can l marry a man that does not spend on me?
Please Bvs advice me, how can l marry a man that does not spend on me?
I want to get married because age is not on my side, l will be 43 by December...l want to see if l can have 1 or 2 kids, but this man is too stingy, we have been friends for 2 years, and he proposed to me last month.
I work in a primary school and the salary is too poor.
HA!!!!...This is like from frying pan to fire oh!!....
I dont know what to tell you..
You want to use him and still want to spend his money? Na wah, you dont even sound like you love him which means the union will be dead on arrival....
I no get anything to tell you oh... if you marry and you no see twn kobo, let the kids you will have your compensation.
Akagum! 😆🤣😂 You saw the sign(s) o and don't come here later on to disturb our peace
ReplyDeleteSis try get pregnant first before you enter the marriage.
DeleteGod the creator instituted marriage for "love and companionship." But here you want to marry to fulfil your 1. Craving for babies
ReplyDelete2. craving for money
3. Escape from poverty
4. Escape from the "biological clock"
Can't you see that your mindset is wrong. You want to marry for the wrong reasons.
And no one cheats God; especially in the issues of life and eternal life. So you met the kind of person that is
"stingy with love and companionship" just like you are.
For a person reaps what she sows.
So you begin from changing your mindset; to foremost love God your creator, make Jesus your Lord and Savior. Love everyone, but crave for marriage for love and companionship and not for those selfish reasons.
Then, will your eyes open to see who loves you and will marry you for whom you are
and not for how many kids you will have.
Hope you read on this blog, about someone who married at 60 years?
She will probably go ahead and appreciate God by loving kids who do not have a home to the extent of giving them a home; via adoption.
And who says that God who gave Sarah a child at 90, cannot give her kids at any age.
Stop telling lies. The Bible speaks over and over about "help meet". There is an element of marriage beyond love. Each spouse is expected to help the other meet their needs. A woman seeking a husband has a spiritual right to have a help meet who can assist her financially. We do not live in the days of Adam. Spouses perform their help meet in many different ways.
DeleteLove cannot put in a pot cook or pay bills no matter how great the love is.
@19:36
DeleteWhat do you mean by "beyond Love?" Do you know that same Bible tells us that "God is Love?" 1 John 4:8
So are you talking about something beyond God? Please mind your diction.
It is Love that makes a man or woman to give. If that gift is not given in Love, it is a strange, fake gift.
Love does not fail 1 Cor. 13:4-8...Have you also seen this expression in the Bible?
@Anonymous 19:36
DeleteHow can you tell someone that she is lying without even telling us the lies? If you do not understand something, move.
Iwu mpam. What is love without providing? Why do you people use religion and fear tactics on people.
DeleteWhat is love without providing? Good question. But the Poster never wrote she loves the man. Love before marriage cannot be assumed. Her words are clear - "I want to get married because age is not on my side, l will be 43 by December...l want to see if l can have 1 or 2 kids".
DeleteThe Poster is treating the man as a sperm donor and financial provider/poverty alleviator. She has the right to do so. Likewise, the man has the right to hold on to his money.
The marriage is wholly me, me, me from the woman's perspective to get children, their sponsor. That is what @****15.15 highlighted.
These are the kind of marriages the woman rotates the earth with her hands to deprive the man of the children in the event of divorce or separation at the fault of the man, or woman, or both of them.
Poster, please go look for a man that loves you and who you love. And he will use his money to benefit your union.
@Nwanyi
DeleteI see you came to insult without even reading.
@ anon 20:22, Go read your Bible you will know where the lie is. You sit and hold your breath waiting for me to tell you or anyone else where the lie is. Don't breathe, just hold your breath and wait..mtsschhww
DeleteBe waiting for the one that will spend on you you will clock 50, by then child you no get, money you no see.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you just advice poster? Mocking is not good. My two cents
DeleteWicked Blessing...see you running your mouth any how,so because she's 43 she should marry a stingy man?e be like say una never jam stingy man before unless the guy dont have but if he has and his stingy babe run,your own will locate you or better still use him to have babies
DeleteIs it your 50?..Sebi having children is the ticket to heaven... mtsheeew... Dear poster, if you are capable of taking care of your child alone, please go ahead. If not, I will suggest you leave the relationship.. May God be with you
DeleteYou're perfect, you had everything, pls don't insult her.
DeleteBus wey dey pursue keke jam, don jam train.
ReplyDeleteOdiegwu o.😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
No let desperation land you inside hot water.
ReplyDeleteHow can you want to MARRY this LATE and still want to MARRY WRONG!!??? O WRONG now...I strongly advice you against marrying a stingy guy! How do you expect him to take care of you and the children!? And you said your salary is poor which means it's not enough! There is a difference between "he doesn't have and he has but would not GIVE"! Don't let society to push you into a marriage you will later REGRET! IS BETTER TO WAIT THAN TO MARRY WRONG! AND A STINGY MAN IS LILE A CANCER...NO BE ONLY YOU GO SUFFER AM.
ReplyDeleteThis one you're already complaining before the marriage,I wonder what will now happen after the marriage.
ReplyDeleteAunty me I don't even know what to tell you,but if you don't love him and you can't cope with him then I don't think it's the wisest thing going into marriage with him so both of you don't frustrate one another in it.
I detest men that are stingy but if you can cope and take care of the responsibilities then I wish you think through everything before settling down
ReplyDeleteStingy men are serious turn off don't let people who say marry for companionship blah blah deceive you. Money and spending is essential in all things I remember one time I was dating this stingy man this bought meat pie and halve it into 2 for both of us to eat very stingy another time I stayed in kpako housevbecause this were really rough lost my job etc it rained and everywhere was flooded this man watched me swim in dirty water full of shit to my kpako house he even on car light make I take see road I mean how much is hotel for that night? And this man is very jealous and over possessive anyways long story short I meant someone that didn't see spending on a his girl as a problem and I was stunned like this kind of people still exist? I was even the one begging him to stop spending now stingy saw I was living the life he wants to blackmail me emotionally with the times he used to let everyone know we are dating oga farabale e mi ti lo oniranu. I pity who will marry a stingy person.
ReplyDeleteHappy for you jare. Stingy is a turn off
DeleteI pity who will marry someone like you who brings nothing to the table except expect g a generous man
DeleteBeautiful.
DeleteI am glad that you are in a healthy relationship now, thank God for you babe 15:47.
you want sperm ,collect that...
ReplyDeleteWait a minute! Is it that the guy has and he doesn't want to give?
ReplyDeleteTo me, you're marrying for the wrong reasons and it may not end well
Aunty just have one child with him if you can take care of the child. Have child for future sake. Don't marry the akagum
ReplyDeletetry getting pregnant before the wedding
ReplyDeleteIf you marry this man to have 2 kids...when you leave/divorce him, will you be able to single-handedly take care of the kids, with your already paltry salary?!
ReplyDeleteLol, u just have to choose from ur priority. I'd say hang on a bit with him but let ur eyes still be roaming for another. Hopefully u wil get someone better but if not, just have ur kids, that's the one you can only care for in case his stinginess is permanent,then shift.
ReplyDeleteI do get the urge for time cos am Inna similar place but won't go for such a man. Sufferness has tired me mbok.
It shows that both you and the poster are just in these relationship becauze of what you can get.....sperm and provision.
DeleteWhy can't the poster hustle hard to change her job. Why is she expecting a man to fund her lifestyle.
Men..if you are reading this..m prioritise yourself over women. Can you see the comments in this thread? Women don't care about you as a person. They only care about what you bring Ẹ.g. Sperm and money.
They don't even care to show what they bring toy he table. They don't even love you based on who you are...but based on what you Bring. Be wise. Demand more from these women beyond front and back.
If I were 43yrs old and as a Christian I know I can't have a child outside wedlock, I would marry him, have 1 or 2 kids and look for some side hustles to add to my paltry salary....dropshipping, selling petty items, open a small shop where I will be selling consumables etc
ReplyDeleteSome women attain early menopause while some lucky ones attain menopause late( I apologize if I sound insensitive)
I've gotten to that age where I've realized who/what a man is is actually not important to me but having my own kid(s)
Children are more important jare, if the man likes,let him 'gboriduro' and if he likes,let him. ''san lo' ko kan aye
Just know what you want and do what makes you happy
Thank u! Don’t mind the rest advising nonsense ! Children are more important and u have to get pregnant for him fast and if u can help yourself with side hustle better, God forbid u leave him and u didn’t meet anyone nko? No pikin no man would now be ur case, with ur age, I advice u get pregnant , he might bring money when kids come nd u can jokingly discuss about finances with him
DeleteAnd you call yourself a Christian with this kind of comment? Ah...men have suffered from Una hands.even God has suffered. You call yourself a Christian and want to marry a man only for his sperm. This is selfishness!!!!!
DeleteI hate stingy men and I can never come close or befriend them.
ReplyDeleteNo way
Call me stingy but I will hesitate to spend my money on a lazy and entitled woman and this poster sounds very much like one.
ReplyDeleteYou are stingy yes I'm calling you that! It's your type that will spend money on small small but allow your wife suffer.
Delete17.58 and it's your type that will bring nothing to the table but expect a man to fund her lifestyle.
DeleteYou better go and work and cater for yourself! Olè afaajo olówó gbigbondi!
Love is indeed beautiful
ReplyDeleteBut most people come into love with the hope of gains to be made.
A good man knows what to do unless he doesn't see you as a good prospect.
He proposed, sure you accepted
They said u should get pregnant first
When Responsibilities show and he fails you
Your eye will clear, build yourself up.
You have to explain what you mean. You are you generous to him?
ReplyDeletePoster, one of a man's primary role in a marriage is to be a provider. A man who loves his woman will not see her struggle and not attempt to help lighten her load.
ReplyDeleteTell him straight up that you have reservations about pursuing marriage with him because you do not feel that he can protect and provide for you as you need a husband to. Outline all the times he failed you when you needed him to be there. Your life is supposed to get better after marriage because there is now two of you, two is greater than one. If you are going to live the same life as though you are single then why go through with it. You will grow to hate him one day because you will be angry that you saw the signs and still went there and is suffering.
Every man has a penis, and there are serious men ready and willing to secure a wife who will not shirk their responsibilities as a protector and provider. Do not allow fear to make you settle.
This here explains why there is so much troubles in marriages today. But when sound Biblical advice as in @****15,15 is given, it is insulted down.
ReplyDeleteThe popular advice is marry him to have your children. In other words, use him.
The other advice is hang on but look out for another man, again use the man and double date. Tomorrow, some female BVs would write as if it is only men who double date.
@22.35 thank you for your summation. You can now see the level of entitlement...mselfishness and machavielian attitude exude with pride by many of these posters and commentators (who are mostly women by the way).
DeleteThey are mostly users...and do not care about the other person other than themselves..it's about me me me me...(And they expect the man not to lookout for himself too).
Madam please calm down! Does he have the means to provide for a family? Please do not expose yourself to sexually transmitted diseases because of the rush to have 1 or 2 babies before menopause sets in. If he cannot provide , please leave him except you are ready to take care of the kids alone. Who knows if the man is winking at you because of the small salary you are currently earning! Shine your eyes.
ReplyDeleteDon't marry him.
ReplyDeleteHave your kids, have your kids! Becos you people are products of this kind of poverty makes you see nothing wrong in saying have your kids, with what? Someone who seems like she can barely feed herself should have kids? Kids need a plan, huge part of which is financial, they will eat, clothe, school and get treated when ill. Someone who cannot afford tyre can suddenly afford kid, kids. Pls go develop yourself, find a better job, get a plan, a viable one before you breathe of bringing any helpless child into this world. We know a biological legacy is the easiest to leave around here but it's not the only one. You are a teacher, maybe focus on leaving a real legacy there, be the teacher no child who encounters you will ever forget for good reasons.
ReplyDelete