Stella Dimoko Memo To Married Men And Women..


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Saturday, October 02, 2021

Memo To Married Men And Women..

This is a good post to wake up to on a Weekend.....


My dear married man,

you see this your wife? When was the last time you took a good look at her? I mean, a proper and very long look at her?

To see the wrinkles of worry on her face as she manages the home that you two built together.

The see the look of despair in her eyes as you come home late again with that aura she senses whenever you've been with another woman.

Have you ever asked her why she's becoming more desperate for your attention? Why all she seems to do lately is to nag when you want her to stop because you don't feel like changing? Have you ever for once been in her shoes to feel what she goes through with the thoughts of another woman feeling the warmth of your touch, the glow from your smile and the fleeting taste of heaven in your arms?

She's also a woman, desperate for your attention, reduced to second guessing herself. Unable to know what she did wrong, how things got here or what that woman does that she can't. She wants to talk anytime she sees you but her emotions run wild that the words don't come out the right way and you aren't making it easy.

Tell me my brother, for how long will you do this? 2 months, 2 years, 20? For the rest of your life? She can't take you cheating on her so can she leave and go? Can she find a man who will make her his priority? Can she enjoy all the good things you have with your other woman, with another man?

You don't like that thought do you? So if you don't, why do you still like the thought of you cheating on her? Why?



My dear married woman,

it's been 3 months of no sex. You are refusing to initiate and refusing to allow him to touch you. Your priority is the kids, it's not just about providing their needs but rather making them the recipients of your warmth.

Have you asked yourself how your husband feels when he comes through the door and all of you are laughing at a private joke?

When was the last time you spontaneously hugged him or called him darling instead of the usual "daddy" even though he's not your dad?

Why did you hide this side of you? This "I'm not that much into sex" side that you hid from him? Why were you pacing all the way with him when you were dating, 3, 5, 7 rounds but right after marriage it's so hard for him to even get half?

Why don't you appreciate his efforts? Doesn't what he does for you matter anymore? Doesn't he matter anymore? Must you point out only the negative things he does and refuse to appreciate him when he does something nice for you? Why do you emotionally abuse him by comparing him with your ex and telling him that you already had someone better but chose to be with him? If that person was so good why didn't you marry him?

Why are you still in contact with that ex you know wants you back? That ex you'll willingly cheat with if you had the chance? Why are you arranging secret meetings and deleting your chats if indeed you "see him as a brother now?"

You've restricted his family from coming to visit so why is you family welcome for months? You begrudge him anytime he sends his mum money so why are you forcing him to pay your parents' rent, your brother's school fees as well as your sister's exam fees?

You don't like it when he smiles at other people or chats with them but why have you made it so difficult for him to chat with you? Why are you so standoffish yet ready to put the blame on him anytime? Why?

Copied from Facebook.


  1. Nice one,so many inner unanswered questions.

  2. I am here for the comments and to learn 🥂🍾

  3. Experience married couples break it down for us

  4. Grateful to God that I can’t relate with any of the above.
    6yrs and counting.
    Gods grace and Intentional living is the key.

    1. Am married and frankly all this sex this and that issues (cheating inclusive) is tiring. The issues between couples run much deeper than that. The lack of sex/search for sex in other arms, are symptoms of deeper running issues.

  5. Speaks to both gender, nice write up.

  6. It seems the writer only focused on cheating men 🙄

    1. When we understand messages without looking for faults then we have finally moved higher in common sense, wisdom & maturity

  7. Sin is a force acting on humans; the earlier we realized this fact and tackle the root of sin in us, the better.

    Jesus Christ is the Son of God given
    to Man to be saved - to reconcile to God and be delivered from sin nature.

    Cheating on my spouse is never going to happen until I draw my last breath. It is a decision made by revelation.

    Sex is over-rated.

    Thank you Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour.


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