Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: The Dark Diary - 2

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Friday, October 15, 2021

The Dark Diary - 2

Oh My God.....








As a 10 year old I knew things my mates will later find out when they came of age.


I enjoyed running errands because I got the extra change to buy snacks and save in my ‘’kolo’’ [kolo that someone cracks and loots until tomorrow the thief is still unknown].

Innocent me will walk pass and get smacked on the bum and my flat chest rubbed while he was giving me instructions.

I was never given the talk like we give our kids now so I didn’t know it was inappropriate.

He would play with me and promise me pocket money if I did everything he asked me to. He would corner me in my own father’s house and rough me up. I later got to know the act was ‘’smooching’

He practically lived in our house so he had access to every part. He always knew when I was alone and would even enter the bathroom whip out his manhood and tell me to put my mouth on it choking me to tears.

I never understood why he would be shaking like someone that had leprosy while pressing my small head to his manhood. Then he would spill it on my face like they do to those women in the films they all watch in the living room. I WAS JUST A CHILD.

I started feeling uncomfortable doing it but who would I even tell? My father’s house was like a casino .All the adults that were supposed to protect and teach me were busy with their own lives. Tiny me would just be walking around peeping and seeing stuffs I should be shielded from.


My elder sister always wonders why I am the way I am with her but one day I will be bold enough to look her in the face and tell her how she messed up my life.

She was in her 20’s and I know it is her life but she could have at least got involved in our lives especially me. She could have juggled her other life with the one she was saddled with . She is the first girl and is automatically my mother.

One of my brother was the one that noticed I was always stinking up the room when I walked in,then he gave me a deodorant and asked me when he had time if I needed soap or toothpaste.

My abuser became my succor. He was living in the house and knew what I lacked then he took advantage of me.

My father came back home when he could and he tried his best financially then go again.

I had this area mother that had a pile of books so I would just run away from home to read and that was when I discovered at 12 what my abuser was doing to me.

He noticed I was avoiding him and always in company of my other sisters or out in the open.

Then he came with more money. I needed the money because I had books to buy and uniforms to patch. I begged him that I didn’t want to do these things that he should find someone older. He refused and started his threat.

At first I was afraid when he said he would kill me But, later I faced him back and told him to kill me because I was tired already. I negotiated like I used to hear the women that they bring home speak to them.

There and then my abuser became my customer. He had a good job because he was the only one working then while my brothers were still in school. He paid for my food every morning when the beans woman arrived , textbooks, clothes and toiletries. I was 13 years old and no one noticed and life went on.


I was no longer a child. I knew a lot and even too much. I didn’t feel a thing.

 I became his personal prostitute.




89 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. dis is heartbreaking.....GOD please heal the writer...writer please go to a good therapist, am happy you marry a understanding man...

      Delete
    2. Just imagine?
      Such a useless man
      What did he see in the body of a 10year old please?

      I am so sorry my darling.
      You need to tell someone
      You also need to face the man that did this to you.

      May God heal you.

      Delete
    3. A lesbian neighbor abused my 2yr old,she said same thing repeatedly,I knew d kid wasn't lying cos I have never used such word,' your vagina is slimy with fluid'. I have never used such. I laid a bad CURSE mid9t for 7days,Today she is jobless, her womb will never bear fruit in this life,she will lose an Organ b4 my eyes and beg for money! She is DOOMED for life.
      Because of Hussle I begged u to hold my kid and u tot d best u cld do was teach her rubbish and show her nonsense on ur phone. The way I hate my daughter anytime she mentions going over to the house,she disgusts me but am trying to heal from it.
      That lady will die miserably.
      Sorry I made it abt me but Mother's should pls try.

      Delete
    4. The story broke me. So sorry poster for what you went through...

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    5. @19:24
      So much empathy here for what you went through.
      However, how will her "dying miserably, organ change etc." heal your child and your hurt? Instead of harboring unforgiveness and cursing, why
      not divert your energy into counseling your child, teaching her the Word of God and learning such yourself. Read Romans 12 and see.

      Delete
    6. I agree with ****. The 7days curse was an error though I understand the pain. It would have been better to even go fight her openly then retreat spiritually to pray for your child, ignoring the sick woman if you can't pray for her. That curse; you have shared from every word you directed at her. That is the tricky side of dishing out curses. Untill you take decisive steps to release her and bless her, everything you have pronounced on her will wait for you in the future. That is why forgiveness is not an easy virtue.
      Also, deliberately flood your heart with love for your child. She is just 2years.

      Delete
  2. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ’”

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Am broken in my spirit ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’” having a female child is scary and with the way things are going now am really scared. May God help us to bring up our children in the way of the Lord

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    2. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”
      So heart breaking

      Delete
  3. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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  4. This was so heartbreaking to read, there are still men like this out there, u can never understand what pleasure a grown man derives from abusing a child!!!
    It would never be well with abusers.

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  5. This is soooo sad to read,and to think some children are still going through this. May God help us

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  6. Lord this is soooo sad๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ญ. Lord God please help me protect my children. Please let me live long enough so that i can keep them safe till they are grown๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜‡

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many kids are abused and are being abused while their moms are still alive. Some even under their mum's roof. Is it not here that we read that a dad put his D**k in the mouth of his infant daughter?

      Delete
  7. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ 

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  8. Oh my God!! Why take advantage of children! Must be a very sick sick person...Haaa ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’” This is so graphic..Ah God!!!

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  9. It's getting so emotional. But Stella as this gist they hot for like make e dey long small o.. see me waiting to read more only to see the ending side..

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  10. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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  11. This is too much. Father in heaven pls have mercy.

    Are there children going through this, Lord in Your mercy pls make a way of escape. No child should have to go through this. And those who have Lord pls bring complete healing IN Jesus mighty name. Amen

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  12. Lord have mercy. What did I just read?

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  13. @ paragraph 7 i couldnt hold my tears. Poster God bless you for this diary, its an eye opener.

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  14. ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”

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  15. Father Lord, please give me your wisdom, financial settlement and the most important, keep me alive to train the little ones you will bless me with Amen. What a sad story๐Ÿ˜ญ

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  16. Oh dear... Some people are plain wicked. Hopefully, your healing princess will be faster as the story is out

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  17. ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿคง

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  18. ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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  19. OH NO
    THIS IS TERRIBLE


    HOW DO MEN DERIVE PLEASURE FROM A CHILD


    YES IM SHOUTING COS I WAS A VICTIM FROM PRIMARY 3 TO JSS 1 WHEN I SAW I WAS BEING USED
    I ENDED JSS 1 AT 10 GOING TO 11 YEARS AND STARTED READING NOVELS..ROMCOM MADE ME SEE AND UNDERSTAND SEX IN A DIFFERENT WAY SO I DIDNT WANT WHATEVER I WAS DOING WITH THE HEDIOT AGAIN.. I STARTED RUNNING FROM HIM EVEN TYHOUGH HE LIVED IN MY HOUSE

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  20. I always n pray that no child should lose a mother, while young... My story is similar to the author's... May I have the courage to share it someday... I applaud the author for having such courage..

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    Replies
    1. Even those that their mother is alive even face these abuse, not only those that lost their mother. All parents both fathers and mothers should protect their children from all forms of abuses.

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    2. 13:49, my parents were alive and well yet I was abused. So it is not about losing a parent. Let me tell you mine.
      Dad would go to work, mum would go to her stall in the market while we will come back from school and roam around. I was abused as a child. I was between four to five years old. I didn't experience what it feels like to be disvirgined as the place was already opened by the time I was 13 and learnt about virginity in secondary school. We moved to another location when I was 5yrs old. The abuse took place in the former area.
      So JSS 2 was when I knew what virginity was and when I saw that mine was already opened, I had flashbacks of how the guy would do whatever to me and smelly white liquid will trickle down my thighs. I remember on one occasion, neighbours dragged me and after sniffing the liquid, they started raining curses on whoever did that to me. I can't even remember who it was anymore. It affected me. I hated myself and my parents. I hated men too. Later I started having boyfriends just to feel among. I never loved them and dumped them after a while for flimsy reasons. No emotions at all.
      I do not feel aroused or enjoy sex so I just had sex for no tangible reason. I don't love hard no matter how much love you shower on me.
      I only managed to get married. I don't take marriage as a must have. I pity him cos he loves me so much, I only force myself to care about him sometimes.
      The abuse messed me up. They took my pride at a very young age and messed up my heart��������������������������.
      I can kill anyone who touches my daughter. I paused my career to nurture her��������������������.
      God will punish all paedophiles and rapists.

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    3. Just yesterday, my sis n I had this discussion with our mum. I asked her why we had soooo many uncles n male cousins in our house when we were growing up. She was running her own personal business so she had time. The reason for my question was a statement our other sister dropped in passing some weeks back when she visited. She used to be vibrant and all then all of a sudden, she became a shadow of herself. Hardly talks to anyone even till date. She’ll rather die inside than open up. Momsie said yeah she noticed it from 5 years. So I asked her what she did about it, she got defensive claiming if she was going to force her to talk. I sha told her that wasn’t nice. You don’t know and never cared and she has grown with a certain mindset.

      I sha tire for my momsie because the mattersssss plenty. Sadly she isn’t the only one. A lot of our mothers, back in the days had a nonchalant attitude despite being full time housewives. Dear parents, please keep a close eye on your babies(male and female). Do not trust anyone with them. DO NOT TRUST ANYONE WITH THEM. No matter how busy you are, NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT WHEN COMPARED TO YOU BABIES. Value them more than anything else you own. I had close brushes with molestation in my childhood, from neighbors to cousins to uncles to Primary 6 Teacher. Thank God for wisdom.

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    4. 16:31๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
      I'm so sad reading this
      I'm sorry this happened to you

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    5. How do men do it?. A child of less than 10yrs, what pleasure do they derive? So sorry 16;31. I lock my kids inside when I go out, people said it is not good but what do I do?

      Delete
  21. Nothing new here. It is the porn age, just a click on phones and naked women will be "entertaining" the depraved in their souls.
    This child was only initiated into the depravity of the present age. This story is a call to repentance to all that steal the innocent kids of
    their innocence. You know what Jesus said; Mark 9:42
    Whoever will make any of these little ones that believe in me to sin, it will be better that they have a mill stone tied around their necks and be
    thrown into the sea."

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  22. ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”

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  23. Writer, where is this man today?

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    Replies
    1. The man will most definitely amount to nothing.

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    2. 14:53, who told you that?
      Sometimes I feel this karma of a thing is overrated. I'm not the poster but I also have an experience similar

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    3. He can never amount to anything because he is already a depraved being. It's not about karma. It takes a sick person to do this to a child, and it will manifest in other aspects of his life.

      Delete
  24. Damn!!!This is too much abuse ๐Ÿฅถ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคข
    Abusers are mostly people closely related

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  25. What a life, hope this abuser's life is not devoid of torments. How can an adult steal an innocent child's innocence.

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  26. Stella pls can you kindly include the link to the 1st episode. Thanks

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  27. At 12, you were practically responsible for everything about you. Your brothers and sisters failed you, they are a huge disappointment.
    How can you feel so comfortable bringing guys home when you have little sisters?
    No wonder my parents always locked us in the house and we had no one living with us.
    Going over to our neighbors was forbidden although as a stubborn child, I always snuck out.
    As for that your brother’s friend that took advantage of you, I hope he is living a miserable life.

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    Replies
    1. Sure. There shall be no peace for the wicked. That’s why you see people suffering anyhow in this life. They alone know the atrocities they have committed.

      Delete
  28. So sad,..parents please watch ur children,a 12 year old girl was impregnated around my area,her parents always leave her to roam about and she was always everywhere at everytime.once she closes from school she is practically outside cos her parents don’t have time,they both work.u need to see the boy responsible for the pregnancy,he is so young and he can’t even tell who he is.we are in a depraved society.most times the ones meant to protect us are the ones harming us directly or Indirectly,God help us.

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    Replies
    1. I don't understand how they will say "we both work" without making proper arrangements.

      Is the job more important than the kids? In this generation
      It's so painful

      Delete
  29. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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  30. Please God keep me alive to look after my children till the become of age, poster may you fine closure that you seek.

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  31. This is a call to mother's to open dia eyes cos d predator is always in d house.and a call to father's to do same being a father is more than providing financially.also a call to elder sis and bros,pls kip ur eyes on your younger ones.and mind d company u bring home.i am not d first girl in my family,but I had to sit up and do more wen I noticed some tins with my younger sis.i nearly killed my brothers friend I tell u.its all story for another day

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  32. So sad to hear this messy story

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  33. I too was molested but not by a man but my very closee neighbour daughters (2 sisters) i can remember how old i was when it started but i was in early primary school.
    The both will molest me same time and they had an incestuous relationship. I started enjoying it at a point that i almost initiated my sister. They would let me watch porn and even tell me to play mummy and daddy with a neighbour's son.
    My mum wasn't the kind o mother that thought us sex education or anything of that her and dad own was togive us the best financially, so i never taught at some point i feel they didn't know better
    Has God would have it we moved out of that state, in my new state no molester i was free and unlearned that habit.

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  34. So sorry you went through all this๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—. Thanks for telling your story, and may God help you.

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  35. This too much, please we should all read and learn๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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  36. Hmmmm
    ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

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  37. This is so sad to read. So sorry for all you went through poster.

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  38. Sorry for all you had to go through at a young age. God grant you the closure you seek

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  39. OMG .. This is heartbreaking

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  40. Oh dear ๐Ÿ˜ณ ๐Ÿ˜• ๐Ÿ˜ž ๐Ÿ˜ข

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  41. SAME as me I was molested twice. One by a man, two by a girl and her brother. Well I have moved past it .I never let it define me. I grew past it and realised there wasn't anything I could have done to prevent it, I wasn't even up to 10 years old for goodness sake. I was still in primary school when they did that to me.



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  42. I remember that year, my younger siblings and i were in our neighbour's house watching film. The neighbours, all men, from Akwa Ibom. One of them told me to help them wash plates. I was in the kitchen washing plates when he approached me and said when i am done, he will like us to "play'. I just said ok without thinking. It was after he left that my small brain reasoned it. Which kain play this man dey refer to? As i finished with the plates, i got to the sitting room (he wasnt there), na so i packed my younger ones quickly make we comot dey go our house. I was in JSS 2.

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  43. Our neighbours then will always put this particular adult film "until September" for me and my siblings to watch. I dont know what they were trying to achieve.

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  44. This is so heartbreaking! May God heal you poster! Only God can heal you,we need to protect our children

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  45. So sad,a lot of children go through this because they are afraid to speak out.I hope one day,we will be able to stop this silence culture because it does more harm than good.

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  46. So sad, I'm so sorry for what you went through

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  47. Reading this diary brought back sad memories. Not long after my dad died, I was molested by a neighbour when I was 7 years old,his name is brother Abeeb; he would call me into the bathroom when bathing and forcefully put is manhood in my mouth, another neighbor living opposite our room then called brother Sogo will also call me to his room, he would insert his finger in my Vagina and from there graduated to putting his manhood in my Vagina. Not very long after, another one called brother Ope living close to us also wanted to try the same thing, he was almost in the act when I started shouting, he had to quickly open the door for me to go out. Days later, I saw brother Ope telling my younger sister to come upstairs, I quickly ran after her but before getting there he had locked my sister in; I started knocking on the door and shouting, my sister came outside from another room, I was scared, I remembered I quickly asked her if he did anything to her, she said no...that my noise and the way I knocked on the door did not allow him. What if I hadn't ran after my sister immediately? Thankfully, we left that area to a better apartment not very long after. Those guys are devil's and I don't wish them well at all. Writing this is so painful and coupled with the fact that I have never discussed it with anyone,not even my mum. Telling her will make her very sad, I don't blame her though; dealing with the mental challenges that comes with the death of a loving husband at a very young age and having to hustle only for the two kids he left behind because she want the best for them, it's just so painful but thank God it is well now. I'm 26 years old now, I will try to tell my mum maybe when I am married but for now I don't know how she will feel hearing it.

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  48. Sad stories up there. Succour to you all posters.
    These are what I avoid by locking them inside when I go out to hustle. I don't know how else to protect them when I'm not around. I leave them in God's hands and go out. Why do kids have to pass through all these? *Crying*

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  49. I feel so sad reading your story. Dear poster E-hugs from my heart to you.

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  50. My heart was beating fast as I read this!

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  51. So sorry for what you passed through poster. May God heal you

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  52. sending all with these experiences love and e-hugs❤

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  53. God!
    This is heartbreaking and so disturbing.
    God please, protect our children, the comments here are so painful to read.
    God!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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