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Tuesday, November 09, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

 Hmmm...






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

CONFUSED AND DEPRESSED.
 


I feel so depressed and at the same time, confused. 

Started the journey of marriage last year and early this year, I proposed to the woman I love. Mind you, I have never fallen in love before. Because of the nature of how my church deals with marriage issue, it took my girl FOUR MONTHS to accept my proposal (My church denomination doesn't encourage our women to accept proposal immediately).


Now the issue is this, since June that she accepted to be my wife, her father has not said anything concerning giving 'parental consent' which will enable me go for introduction and begin the marriage process. I have asked her severally but she keeps saying her father said I should wait.


Secondly, recently, I noticed that our communication has dropped. We don't talk as we used to, she doesn't call me again unless I call. I am worried right now and need to settle down. I am 34 years old while she is 29, and interestingly, we share the same birth month/day.

I love her and don't want to lose her.

Please what could be the problem and what should I do.




Why dont you meet with her and ask her what is going on? Is her Father also a member of the Church? If yes, then maybe he also has to wait for a period of time...Discuss with her to find out if you are wasting your time...
I am so sorry about this delay but maybe the delay is for your won good sef.


59 comments:

  1. Maybe she is not interested in marrying you but doesn't know how to say it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe her father is praying over the matter? Be patient and please update us

      Delete
    2. try to see her father or talk to him on phone....see your girl face to face and discuss with her..when she is talking please look at her body language...

      Delete
    3. june till today is 5 months plus...my brother am sorry for the delay..if the father is a member of your church, please let your pastor see the father......................

      Delete
    4. Her papa no like u. She love u but at a cross road and does not know how to tell u.

      Delete
  2. You two should have a heart to heart talk now and find out whether the entanglement is headed somewhere or nowhere

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Since you know it's your church procedure then relax.

      My only fear is I see the passion going cold. You both might loose the excitement of love and romance by the time you eventually marry.

      Delete
  3. Slaves to religion. Church say dey should not accept proposals immediately, church say church say... abeg abeg abeg.🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tell her to tell you straight what the matter is or go and see the father if you have access to him. It's always better to know for sure than to be hanging indefinitely.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree Stella..Some delays are for your own good...Don't be desperate my dear brother..Just calm down and breathe ok...Now your heart should not be troubled if you believe this is your wife however call her and talk to her when both of you are in a good mood; tell her that you love her and you are ready to hear the truth no matter what...Ask her if she really wants you guys to be together? With her response, you will know where you stand...I dunno why a church will preach or determine to women about when or period of when to accept a man's proposal...Only CULTS that dictates what people should do with their lives....

    However I say here, there are 3 things you experience in your spirit when you are with someone you love (1) Peace (2) Inner Witness (3) Joy ..Also have you prayed? Has she prayed? Do you both have the same conviction...Also hear her out, she may just have her fears? She may be having issues settling down or how marriage is gonna be on her? Child bearing e.t.c? It may just be a rollercoaster of emotions for her because this is a LIFE JOURNEY not a DESTINATION...Just give her audience and whatever her fears are, reassure her that you will be there for her and acknowledge her feelings..All the best dear...And please don't be confused or be depressed, you must stand firm now...

    ReplyDelete
  6. She’s not into you bra

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's into another man pant


      🤣🤣🤣

      Delete
    2. Exactly. Once a woman/lady stops calling you, just forget it.

      Delete
  7. Why not visit the father. Since he has the final say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree to this, as a man, go and meet her dad, but let her know first don't barge in on them.

      Delete
  8. What if she has another proposal from another guy or she has intrest in another man hoping to receive proposal from him to dump you?

    Can't you pay her father a visit to ask for consent directly?

    She might not be intrested in marriage and she doesn't know how to inform you..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Talking in out with will save you this confusion as you don't know what's going through her mind.

    For me once communication begins to dwindle in relationship, I know that somethings aren't sitting well and most times I don't wait for the other person to come around on his or her own(which may never happen) depending on our relationship.

    Find out why the communication has become partial and why there's distance in emotions.
    From her response and body language, you'll know where you stand with her. I wish you good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Discuss your concerns with the girl
    Also, discuss with her father. With the kind of responses you get, you'll know your next step whether to proceed or retreat

    ReplyDelete
  11. "I love her and don't want to lose her."

    That's because you don't have money. Mr. Man, go and look for money. Forget love talk, it's for owu men. The time you're wasting thinking about this girl can be used for more profitable venture. Believe me, if I were to give you 100M right now, you will laugh at yourself for being foolish all the while. You'll be like "did I really date this chic"? Guy, go find money. Love outside your blood is just hallucination. Face reality bro. It's not worth it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster pls ignore this advice

      Delete
    2. O si noo hallucination. Chei! Ceaser who do you like this?

      Delete
    3. Oshisco! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Delete
    4. Ceaser, you be man!

      Delete
    5. Just as Ceaser mentioned, guy if you have money I'm sure she won't be distancing herself from you with the love you have for her. I bet her dad won't be delaying in reaching a decision on you if you have money. Now listen to Ceaser, go and make money Mr. Man!

      Delete
    6. Ceaser smh… orishichichi

      Delete
  12. Doesn't seem she's interested in marrying you. You seem like her backup plan. A woman who loves you would be eager to marry you.

    PS: Which church? I'm curious

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whick church Kwa
      It is either.......or .......

      Delete
    2. Please be patient and pray sincerely to God to know if she is the right person for you.

      Delete
  13. Abeg,that babe is standing in love while u are d one falling in love,another angle is,if ur broke.nevertheless, have a conversation wt her or pastor.

    Ada ohafia

    ReplyDelete
  14. Is marriage that difficult?i met my wife and less than two months,we wedded.we are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary next month.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yen yen yen.Akuko

      Delete
    2. 🙄🙄🙄 @ anonymous 16:19 it doesn't always work that way

      Delete
  15. I think her love is waxing cold. Speak with her and her father, then u will find out what's up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't sit down and look. Speak with her, your pastor or whoever is in charge of such in your church, then speak to her dad. Her first because if she doesn't want you, she doesn't. If she does you can proceed to the pastor because he will have much influence, especially as you are obviously where there are many doctrines. Based on advice you can then go talk with Baba. If he no gree and he is a church member, pastor can help you talk with him. If he puts his foot down to say no, you can't do much because daughter will want to be obedient to her father and church. So he could say yes, but you would never know until you do all this.

      Wishing you the best and kindly update us.

      Delete
  16. Young man drop that I love her nonsense and leave that Church. I hate my Church , my pastor enslavement and manipulation. The girl is obviously not interested in marrying you, move on please. When people suddenly change the way they communicate with you be rational enough to know there is something fundamentally wrong. Beat her in her game, stop calling her, don't send messages , be in control of your emotions. Buy books, possibly download books, read and educate yourself, take charge of your thoughts. If she wants you she will crawl back. Go make money , @34 you are still very young, don't pressure yourself. Don't push it , let it happen naturally, it will surely happen if it was meant to be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nawah ooo is it quarel sontin??? 🥴🥴🥴🥴

      Delete
    2. Best advice but obviously, the poster is too young to comprehend. What will be will be!

      Delete
    3. Best advice I've read. I wonder why people are advising to go meet her father when the lady in question has stopped communicating. That is fundamentally wrong and she is subtly sending a message to you. Na you no wan use your tongue count your teeth.

      Delete
    4. 100% agree. As soon as I read that she no longer calls him, I knew the relationship was on coma. The owner of the relationship is no longer interested but people are advising him to meet her father. How? Why?
      Poster, this is going to be hard to accept but that lady is not in love with you (anymore).

      Delete
    5. In my opinion and experience, jumping to conclusions and making assumptions without any real basis can do more harm than good. Talk to her first because a lot of things could be affecting her, it may even be something to do with you poster that you may not be aware of. When you speak with her (and I mean personally not on phone or through chats) you can get a better picture.

      Delete
    6. Poster please read this comment.
      Was Alexander harsh, yes he is.
      But at this stage you need the bitter truth.

      Something seems to have nosedived in your relationship.
      Finally, Always remember that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
      Ponder on this.

      May God help you.

      Delete
  17. Ask the father yourself or you go through your pastor.This shouldn’t be an headache

    ReplyDelete
  18. I think you're not her first option

    ReplyDelete
  19. All of you going to churches that do you pingpong(remote control) are trying. What kind of doctrine is that? Is that Christ's teaching?
    Mshewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My friend was engaged to her man who was based abroad. When she informed her church here that she was getting married, they told her they wouldn't wed them till after 1year counselling. Lol.. My friend as a sharp babe rented a reception area and got a pastor to bless to wed them. They've been married 10 years and are an envy to so many.
      I don't know why people worship all these senseless doctrines with no biblical nor cultural backing. No logic sef. God forbid

      Delete
  20. Why must ladies wait four months before accepting proposal?? Jesus Christ. What sort of nonsense is this? You need to call her and speak with her as we don’t know what’s going on in her head. You really need to have that sit down conversation with her so you can also make your own decision. And please don’t force this love thing. It should be natural and if it’s not working you, move on please and either find someone else there in your church or find a new church or outside church gathering, let God speak to you and settle down with the one you love and she also loves you. Wish I could introduce my single lovely Dr sister from a sound Christian background to you. She’s also same age as your current interest and she’s ready to settle down. You seem like a good genuine guy. This life no balance sha. Na wa o. Wishing you all the best 💕

    ReplyDelete
  21. Work on your depressed mood bro. Don’t just marry a lady all in the name of feeling lonely and need someone. Enjoy your company first, work on your self emotionally financially and spiritually. You’ll attract a better woman self. You attract who you are.

    ReplyDelete
  22. We got some 29 year old women who sent in chronicles recently I wonder if your intended was one of them. On a serious note, you just have to man up and ask the difficult questions. Like you said you want to get settled as age is not on your side, according to you. Are you worried that if you push her too far you may lose the opportunity and have to start all over again while you are getting older? Remember, better a broken engagement than a broken marriage so you have nothing to lose by asking. You cannot allow fear stop you from addressing your concerns. You have a right to know where you stand. Have you prayed on it? You sure you don't have a wild past that she may have found out about? Speak to her let her know you are not happy with the lack of communication and enthusiasm on her part. If she is not excited about marrying you now then what the heck you think is going to happen when she have to see you first thing in the morning and last thing at night, smell your morning breath, farts and bowel movements? watch you age and get older? If she ain't excited now you don't want to go there. So know where you stand and if you are both on the same page. Cause that joy and excitement of the courtship days is what keeps sanity alive when the reality and monotony sets in.

    Pray and put the situation up to The Almighty. Seek wisdom and discernment in the matter. Let God take control and direct your path, but also get your answers from her own lips.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think the lady may be looking for a way to get out of the church and their doctrine cos marrying you may keep her there forever. Marriage liberates women from certain culture and norms they have probably outgrown or no longer find joy in practicing it. In my own point of view, she has not informed her parents yet, cos she's looking for opportunity from another person with different background. I may be wrong though, but i think she doesn't want to continue her life in that church. It is not about you but the doctrine! Think about it and have a tete a tete discussion with her

    ReplyDelete

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