Stella Dimoko Dr Freaks Journal - Forged Report Card


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Saturday, November 20, 2021

Dr Freaks Journal - Forged Report Card

Permit me to quote Baba Fela who sang some years back thus: "nothing good sef dey for me to sing about, all the things wey e dey e no dey good"- CBB.

I ran into a friend who shared the view that my silence has been deafening on certain national issues and I actually I raised a poser for myself thus: "is it that my ink is drying up or that there is really nothing good to write about?"

Guess what? Alas! I found an (the) answer to that nagging poser.

In the beginning,

When I was in Class 1 , I so played in school such that my report card bore witness to my 'seriousness'. I scored 41 in Mathematics, 42 in English Language, 39 in Music, and I think my best score was 50 something in Yoruba Language or Wood Work. By the time I received that result, I was caught up in a dilemma.

 Do I go home like that and face the music; or do I 'help' myself by upgrading myself and acting as an assistant teacher by just changing the red ink to black by adding blue to it? 

Then I made a discovery! 

When you impress a blue ink on a red ink, it gives you a semblance of black.

 What did I do? It may interest you. I simply coloured the 39 and below in red (with a blue ink) without altering the figures and I now had a result that was full of black and blue inks and I walked home majestically.

 I never looked forward to handing my result to my dad- a teacher himself who expected his children, including a playful me, to always come first. How! 

By the time I handed my result to 'Baba Agric' as he was fondly called, he just stretched out his hand to give me a handshake for the 'brilliant' result. Oh, stupid me! And I believed this man. 

He disappeared. 

By the time he resurfaced, he emerged with his trademark- a fat cane and he flogged the living daylight out of my mischievous self and I desisted from that cheap sharp practice from that moment.

My father died 32 years ago and I still find it hard to do otherwise, to date. I am not perfect. I am not a saint. But I will never touch forgery with a long pole.

Back to the present time.

Our nation has been bedevilled by certificate scandals since only God knows when and curiously, the high and mighty have been linked, exposed and or implicated.

 The List is endless.

Let us pretend as if the subject does not even constitute a crime under the laws of the land, is it morally okay to deceive the whole world and oneself?
Daddy ('Baba' as you preferred to be addressed), I am forever indebted to you for raising me up properly and for raising me in the ways of the Lord, which I almost rejected though, but thank God, for locating me and setting my feet on the right path.

Shame on all the Cerificate 'Forgers' occupying the highest seats in our land today! ALL OF THEM AND THEIR ADVOCATES!

Stay Safe,
Its Kunle!


  1. Certificate Forgery has been a national issue putting the poor and the week into jail but allowing the rich and so called leaders to by-pass punishment.

    Corruption has eaten deep into this country that is more reason why a boo leader will come up to differentiate between corruption and stealing.

    When you are corrupt, there are so many things that you will engage in. Such as...

    *Certificate Forgery

    To mention but few. I pray my good Lord will help us all in this country that is been tailored and co trolled by wicked leaders who claim to be serving us.

    1. The leaders are wicked , the followers are also wicked , let's never forget this. The poor are as corrupt as the rich, what they don't have is the opportunity. Listen to them talk and you will realise the truth . The leaders are products of our very wicked, corrupt and greedy society. Dem no jump come down from moon come be leaders. Whenen we were our brothers keepers things were a lot better, we looked out for each other. We had moral codes and values, our education didn't define our humanity . Today, it is a rat race, we are in competition for wealth, some believe they are the best thing that has happened to their communities since sliced bread. Jealousy and envy has taken over. Those who can't feed , pay rent insist on sending their children to private schools, inconveniencing themselves, their friends and families when it's time to pay fees, buy books and uniforms. We all want to belong. Gone are the days when we were satisfied with what we had while praying for a better tomorrow. Greed has taken over

    2. Yes I agree with Alex, something happened to me last week and I look at myself and say ,the situation of the country has turned me to thief,or rather I'm a thief sef, I bought paint bucket of beans from malam,at 2400, I gave him 2500, expecting100 naira change, mall am gave me 600,and I asked him how much I gave him ,he said 3k, I wasn't sure ,but my conscience says its 2509, since then I've been feeling guilty

  2. The one that shocks me most is the special centers for waec, the fear of writing the exams is no longer there.
    In my neighborhood see candidates partying on the eve of the exam. God help our country.

  3. Well said Mr Kunle... I'm always looking forward to your interesting write ups sir 👍

  4. All those that indulge in and/or enable forgery will eventually pay the price.

  5. No shame in the game

    1. Please na, rest it. Even the person who said has moved on but you are still holding on, haba.

  6. Lol
    Kids with their their mumu sometimes sha

  7. Thank you Kunle.

    Our challenge in Nigeria is more with the followers than with the leaders.

  8. Certificate forgers are everywhere. Even when the office knows . They all pretend and move on. Many MDAs and ministry employ staff and will never do any background checks on certificates


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